Cat Owners Explain How Cat Body Language Is Often Misinterpreted By ‘Dog People’

Years ago a pregnant stray turned up on my doorstep. I took her in so the kittens would grow up among people instead of becoming feral. Because she was a scruffy long-hair I named her Ragamuffin. I found good forever homes for all five of the kittens, and had Rags fixed. She was my companion for 17 years. RIP, Rags.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat in 2018 and I still miss her. They really do become family.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I am dreading the day(s) I will have to say goodbye to (one of) my cat(s). Had a rabbit die on me as a teenager and that really messed me up. Trying to focus on the good memories instead of the loss is hard, especially at first. Hope you feel less devastated soon, sending warm comforting vibes your way x

That stings. Hopefully one day you will have a new friend in your life.

I'm so sorry for your loss Jayne. My beloved Peter passed away suddenly in March aged 5. He had an undiagnosed heart problem. It was very traumatic and painful. I wasn't going to get another cat but then a stray needed my help. She has been with me since July and has helped my heart heal. Unknown to me she was pregnant and gave birth to three healthy kittens in August. Sending hugs to you xxxx

I am sorry for your loss. I too, recently lost one of my elderly cats. She was 21. I feel your pain. Bless you and your new family member. Don't worry, I have more fur babies.

When I lost my cat in 2015, I don’t think I made it two weeks without having to seek out comfort in the paws of someone else! I went with a dog, just because I couldn’t handle another cat after being with the same one for what seemed like 20 years, or at least knowing him almost that long. I still miss him every day, but I have all those good memories to share with my dog, since she loves kitties!! We live on a farm and have 3 barn cats that my pup adopted and I’m supposed to be opening my home to, according to the 4 of them! ;-)

As an addition to the other comment: Cats do scratch occasionally, so petting always comes with a small risk. However, scratching really doesn't mean that they dislike you, it's either "stop doing what you did just now!" or "hey, are we playing?!". If a cat scratches you and can't think of anything you did wrong when petting, you might be able to play! A stick or a long stalk of grass works really well. But remember that cat's don't hunt like dogs - dogs chase their prey, cats ambush it: they approach quietly, trying to hide, and watch carefully for a moment when the prey doesn't move, so they can attack. So, when playing, move the stick like a mouse, let it hide under or behind things (cats LOVE this!), and have it sit still occasionally - that's the cat's signal to attack. Cats absolutely do have excess energy sometimes, where they'll be happily running in circles in purchase of a stick - but mostly, they hunt from ambush and need a moment when the prey SITS STILL.

It's possible to initiate contact with a cat, but the actual contact is a mutual decision. Making soft noises (I usually click my tongue VERY softly) gets their attention, while looking intently, blinking, leaning forward and reaching out with the arm signal a desire to make contact. HOWEVER ,you also need to signal that you "come in peace" and mean no harm. Crouching or kneeling down is a good way to do that - it means that you don't tower as much over the cat and appear less dangerous. Extend your hand, look, blink, maaaybee move toward the cat very slowly and carefully, but watch how relaxed it looks. Hope that it will move toward you. If it does, keep your hand extended - it allows the cat to get a sniff at a bit of a distance. Let it sniff - wait until it's clearly done, i.e. moves its nose away. If it seems relaxed, you might now be allowed to pet it, as long as you don't make sudden movements.

there is a stray cat in a garden centre thing near me, it is used to company so if you are gentle it lets you pet and even sometimes feed it! If it is used to be around people, approach carefully and make sure it knows you don't want to hurt it. If it's not used to people, I'm not as sure, but make sure it doesn't see you as a threat.

A small but big thing is reaching out with your palm facing down, fingers relaxed, instead of palm facing up, hand open. Simply because the first posture doesn’t need as many muscles and you don’t appear as tensed, which can be translated in nervous or anxious. That’s just a detail that makes a lot of difference with my cats whenever they come near a stranger (which is a rarity in itself but when they’re quiet enough and stay long enough, it does happen). Also, don’t look at the cat. The slowly blinking is good but don’t overdo it either, that’s not natural behavior either so look aside of them. Turn sideways if you want to keep an eye on them or ideally turn your back if you sense tension in the cat to disconnect the active part of the interaction for a second. That allows for all sensors of the cat to calm down and process all the sensory input they have gained up to that moment. You can break up that tension a bit any time while still moving towards the cat by looking away

Stop a few feet away, get down to their level, proffer a hand and see if they approach you. If they don't, just have a little distance visit. In other words, let them make the decision. The exception to this is that sometimes cats that are completely domesticated are (for one reason or another) outside. These cats (usually sitting or lying and looking very relaxed) will allow you to approach and pet them. But even in this case, approach slowly and offer a hand a few inches away - see if they move closer to be petted and only pet the part that they offer you (cheek or chin, most often, or top of head.

Be careful that's you're not conflating "stray cats" with "feral cats" - the two are totally different! Feral cats have had no interaction with humans at all from birth: they simply don't know what you are, and interpret you as potential threat as a default. Strays, of course, have had previous owner (s) and may have had good experiences, or suffered abuse, or most likely a combination of both - perhaps their previously kind owner suddenly moved away and abandoned them. They're more likely to be confused/nervous/hesitant. Feral cats will react with "fight or flight" - and since they receive no healthcare, could be carrying some really nasty germs .. So, don't approach feral cats - call your local animal shelter or cat charity. If a stray will approach you - and Marc is spot on here, let them approach you not vice versa! - look for a collar with owners info? But be aware, most cats have at least two "homes", so a genuinely stray cat may be very difficult to discern!