25 Y.O. Woman Sparks Family Feud After Outing Her Ex As Gay During Argument With Religious MIL
Interview With Author
Humans have to be some of the most, if not the most, complicated beings on the planet. On top of functioning on a basic level as biological beings with innate instincts and needs, we are also expected to somehow operate on a social level. And you know how that goes, and you know where this is going.
A woman in her mid 20s has recently turned to the Am I The A-Hole community for some perspective with a story involving her now ex-husband who turned out to be gay—but that wasn’t the problem as much as the cheating, the lying, his fundamentalist mother, the ex never telling anyone about his sexual orientation, and everything in between.
More Info: Reddit
Relationships can spiral out of control very easily given a certain context and the “right” people
Image credits: Amanda Wood (not the actual photo)
Reddit user u/life_after_love, with whom Bored Panda got in touch, shared what she called a “long and sucky story,” but in a nutshell, she found out her husband was cheating on her with another man. Apparently, he wanted a “normal life” with a wife and kids, seemingly serving as an alibi of sorts for him to continue living his life as a homosexual man, but she was having none of it.
So, the two split, but it doesn’t end there. For context, the ex’s family are fundamentalists, with the mother being very extreme and intrusive in the now ended relationship. They don’t believe in divorce, so this move immediately prompted the mother-in-law to interfere and effectively go nuts on OP.
And this woman got the short end of stick when she found out her husband cheated, and he’s gay, and, long story short there’s a family feud now
Image credits: life_after_love
Besides it being a bad break-up situation, Life After Love also found out the ex didn’t tell his family about him cheating, and told the mother that OP was actually divorcing him because they weren’t making love as often as she actually wanted. Oh, and he didn’t come out to his family, either.
While OP did try to defuse the situation, explaining that she was cheated on and avoiding any talk about him actually being gay, because she knew the parents well enough not to and it’s none of anyone’s business anyway, the MIL was relentless, and started defending him, saying “men are just that way” and that she’s actually the problem because she needs to try more with her looks and whatnot.
This was the breaking point. While she did not intend to be mean, or to cause any trouble at all, and she owns up to this, she is human, and she got provoked and exploded.
Image credits: life_after_love
“I told her that the only thing that would make me more attractive to my ex would be a sex change operation and that I hoped he and his boyfriend adopted her some grandchildren so she could finally shut the hell up about it,” explained Life After Love.
Needless to say, it all turned into a huge family drama real quick. There were sobbing phone calls, the family’s cultural values may get the ex disowned, and everyone is blaming OP.
Image credits: life_after_love
As of the time of this article, the story is still pretty fresh, but there were some developments in it, as explained OP: “The only thing new is that it looks like I’m going to have to press charges on the ex for breaking the restraining order. My Ring system showed he was at the house trying to get in yesterday afternoon before I got home from work.”
“Other than that, I’m trying to decide now whether to move out of the community. It’s a smallish town and a lot of the families are interconnected, so my ex’s version of events has caused me some problems recently with friends and people in the local LDS stake.”
Image credits: life_after_love
OP turned to the Am I The A-Hole community to figure out who’s at fault here. In the beginning, there was a huge influx of YTAs (you’re the a-hole) because she exposed a huge secret about the ex, but the tide turned soon after a whole lot of people came in to defend her.
They argued that lying is still lying, and cheating is still cheating, and this is besides the fact that the ex willingly kept his sexual orientation a secret, and with this trying to push her into some faux traditional family scheme without her consent. In other words, the guy had a-hole written all over him.
Image credits: life_after_love
“I really didn’t know what to expect and it was helpful to see the way that other people weighed the situation because I’m so conflicted about it myself,” elaborated Life After Love. “I’m mortified that the whole thing happened in the first place, but it’s comforting to hear that even a lot of LGBTQ people understand and don’t blame me.”
“I also understand why those who said ‘Everyone Sucks Here’ and ‘You’re The A-Hole’ have their opinion. It helped me get some personal resolution on the situation so I can move forward. After having been lied to so much and made to feel like the problem, it’s hard to not default to that ‘it must be my fault’ position out of the gate.”
While some did genuinely think OP is wrong, most still argued that she’s not the bad guy in this situation, expressing their support
The post quickly picked up traction online, gaining over 19,000 upvotes and nearly 60 Reddit awards. As of this article, the post is already locked, which means people cannot comment any more, but Life After Love still managed to get some edits in for context and the post was flared as Not The A-Hole.
“The worst thing is that my reputation in my community and LDS stake has been ruined because of what my ex has been telling people and I’m not sure if that can be fixed,” said the woman. “People are nice enough not to say anything for the most part, but there’s been a noticeable change with the way I’m treated. My stake president called me in for a chat, and I told him about the cheating, so he said he understood and would try to correct some of the rumors, but I don’t know. It breaks my heart that I tried so hard to do everything right and it’s still seen as my fault.”
We’ve also asked OP if she could share any advice for anyone else dealing with similar situations, and she had this to say:
“If you’re going through hell, just keep going. It can’t last forever. I’m tired and sad and very upset with all of this, but I won’t let my ex steal any more of my life than he already has. I’m going to get therapy and rebuild and try to be happy in spite of him because everyone deserves that. Don’t be poisoned by your pain and finish tearing yourself down in someone else’s place.”
She also noted that there was a commenter who mentioned that her post could be misinterpreted as anti-LGBTQ propaganda, which has been weighing on her, but she reassured that it’s not the case and kindly asks people to not generalize and stereotype based on this story:
“I just want to say that there are several LGBTQ people in my life that I love very much and who would never do this to anyone and I would be so sad if my story was used to harm or denigrate them. My ex didn’t hurt me because he’s gay, he hurt me because he’s hurt inside somehow and he just passed all that fear and darkness on to me. I don’t want bad things for him or any other LGBTQ person and if anything, his family set this situation up by being so intolerant.”
You can get the full scoop by checking out the story in context on Reddit. But before you go, tell us your thoughts on this in the comment section below!
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Sounds like the ex is willing to set her on fire to keep himself warm, so he’s just getting back what he was trying to do to her instead. He doesn’t want to suffer any consequences but he’s willing to use her as a breeder, waste years of her life, harass her to the point of the law getting involved, and then ruin her name in her community to the point she feels she has to move away to get peace and then he wants to cry about losing his shitty family? Bollocks. I’m queer and outing people is normally heinous but this man is a monster. You don’t get to punch people over and over and then cry victim when they knock your ass out.
Indeed, he set this up himself. He knows his family so knew MIL would do something like that, he's been building a house of lies so it was on him to add an extra shed of lies to prevent this. Also: Chances are the MIL will not believe he's gay, pure pig-headed unwillingness to face facts is the way to pull through.
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I started out reading expecting to have some sympathy for the husband's situation, thinking it would be a case of a man who cannot face who he is, so throws himself into being what he sees as the straight, married with children, but then finds he can't keep living with the pretence. A really shitty thing to do to her, but at least he would have not been intending to hurt her, thinking he could make it work. However the fact that he had a long term partner already shows he knew exactly who he was and was comfortable with it, he just did not want to deal with the effects that would have on his life. She could have just thrown the MIL out her house and said nothing, however he intentionally put the wife in this position, so can deal with the fallout
I've no sympathy for manipulators, and that man was a textbook manipulator. He deserved to have his web of lies pulled apart, as does anyone who engages in such underhanded behavior. Honesty is a cornerstone of trust, and trust is one of the sustaining pillars of a healthy marriage. Should you topple that pillar, don't be surprised at the consequences of doing so.
In response to Gabby: yes, I am gay; just ask my wife. Yes, I do have extremely homophobic family; my father saw fit to rape me when I was a child for not being cisgendered, and also constantly slammed gay people when I was growing up. Also, my father was a manipulator who ruined his entire family over the course of 35 years, culminating in an attempted double murder on my mother and I. So kindly don't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about.
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as a queer girl with homophobic family, nta. this guy is such a jerk, using you, cheating, and then blaming you for the divorce. You were completely justified and i hope you get away from this piece of s**t and find happiness with someone who loves you
The sad thing is that he'd been totally honest... he'd had been able to find a wife anyway, some girl from a conservative Mormon family who'd agree to be a gay man's wife and life a respectable Mormon life. Better an honest gay husband who is committed to being a good father to their kids and a friend to his wife, than a straight husband who wants 30 kids.
Load More Replies... NTA. This coward was confirming her to a love less marriage, a shell of a life. He took away her option to have a fulfilling life with someone who adores her. Even if she never finds that, she willvstill be better off. If she hadn't caught him with his partner, she would have certainly sensed something was missing. Selfish little man.
he went into the relationship knowing it was a lie and used her that is far more cruel than what he did because it was what he planned all along what she did was done in a moment of anger NTA
OP was harmed. It’s not about his being gay that’s the issue. It’s about the betrayal of her trust and the literal harm he caused her! NTA
Agree. That didn't make it necessary to out him to his family, she could have gotten her divorce and gone on with her life without paying him back for the hurt he'd caused. But she didn't do it intentionally or with the intent to hurt, it slipped out during an angry moment, so oh well! She was under no obligation to keep his secrets.
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This complete sack of shít married her and had kids with her while having an entire relationship the whole time and he’s saying she ruined his life? What a disgustingly selfish piece of shît. He deserves every bit of pain he’s going through. She’s actually lucky his family is so trashy, because otherwise he’d get away with no consequences for his lies. I think fundamentalists shouldn’t exist but oh well in this case. He seems like he doesn’t see women as humans anyway.
Gay people can have children and have a normal life! Around 30% of people in my hood are married gay couples, most of them have children. They bring their kids to school, go to the grocery stores, compete for the best Halloween or Christmas decorated house, have parties and play dates. And that is normal. What is not normal is when your super traditional and selfish parents pressure you into something that is not natural to you , like marrying a person with opposite sex- so they (your parents) can be happy even if it will make their gay children miserable.
That's not the point. The dude is in the wrong. Straight ip
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a person being gay/straight/trans/bi should not be an excuse for toxicity. period.
I know it must suck, being gay and having such an awful family, but her ex was an asshole. He tried to use her as cover and cheated on her.
F**k him. You are a saint. He's a manipulative s**t who used you as a baby factory then had the f*****g audacity to blame you for the divorce. Tell his family every little worried detail for his affair. Being gay has nothing to do with his disgusting behaviour. He deserves it all. Of you did have kids, keep them the f**k away from him forever. They deserve a pile of air so much more than a dad like that in their lives.
NTA. I am sorry for you both. Your ex was way wrong. It was abusive and manipulative for him to use you like this and you responded appropriately to extreme emotional pressure. I hope you can learn to trust and find genuine love. I feel just a tiny bit sorry for him too. He's an arsehole, but if he had felt safe to live as he truly is, perhaps he wouldn't have been an arsehole.
I don't think that coming out would have been unsafe for him... just disadvantageous.
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He made his own bed and now he has to sleep in it... His (by far means faux wife) has protected him until she couldn't take any more of his bullshit. Yeah for her to have herself freed from such a toxic men (the gender does not count here, I'm referring simply to the actions of the significant other).
NTA. He lied to you, used you, wasted you time, hopes and dreams, and he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. F**k him. F**k his family. That entire thing is his problem to deal with, not yours. He's a spineless cowardly child and you're done with him. His mother had no right to corner you and berate you, he could have easily told the family that your breakup was private and for them not to interfere, but sounds like he didn't care about any of the aftereffects of the breakup on you. Another reason to say f**k him. She deserved to get chewed out by you, he deserved to get abuse from his family for being a liar ON EVERY FRONT, and you deserve to be free of this stupidity. Tell him to grow up and become a man, and that he's not financially dependent on his family so he can tell them to f**k off, his relationship with them is not your responsibility. Good luck to you. Mail him a 'bag of dic*s' for fun. (BagOfDic*s.com)
Heres my stance: OP is the AH for outing their ex, but ex is AH for lying and making OP deal with the family
The son is as bad as his mother. Both narcissist and making excuses
Karma is a bitch. You can’t throw someone under the bus and then cry when they tell the truth, this is all caused by living a lie and willing to fool someone to get what you need from them. Honesty in this situation maybe the best thing for him. He needed to get right with everything and his actions brought it to life one way or another. If he was honest with you this wouldn’t have happened but he made you believe a lie so he can use you for his own purpose instead. He made his bed.
I know not all Mormons are cool with bigami... But he had the perfect setup of he was just honest with his wives about it... Find some lesbian couple looking to raise some kids. A couple weddings and a turkey baster and a close family friend. The wives get an extra hand with the kids guy can have his boyfriend and more over family can be happily ignorant... Just sucking it up and getting out of the closet might is probably a better choice... If this family won't accept him as he is, they don't deserve a son willing to risk every thing just to be honest with them.
If you trust someone with a deep secret then f-them over and lie about it making them look like the problem then you deserve what you get.
So he's gay, and knew he was gay all along and is revolted by female bodies... how the f**k did he get 'it' up long enough to have kidS with her??
Not all gay men are "revolted" by female bodies - they just aren't attracted to them. It's easy enough to use fantasy and turn the lights off if the goal is children.
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"mormon shunning kind" Thats my religion and anybody who shuns people cuz they are gay are not following the gospel.
ESH - Nothing that he did is OK. He lied, cheated, manipulated, and used her and he has to own those actions. On the flip side, she has to own hers. His actions, no matter how heinous, justify what she did. No matter how horrible he is, he deserves to control his coming out (or not) experience. She took that away from him.
NTA, he blamed her for the devorce. Made her look bad. Yes he did stuff wrong but then also putting it on her so she has to deal with it is not okay. He should have blamed himself, thanked her for the years together etc. And be a shield against MIL. He just threw her under the bus.
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Two wrongs don't make a right. His actions were wrong and he should be held accountable for cheating. Her outing him to his mother was also wrong. I'm gay and my mother is extremely religious and homophobic. I no longer have a relationship with her, but the thought of her finding out I'm gay is scary. She really would stop loving me.
There are a lot of they're-their-there and your-you're issues in these comments. That is all. Also, NTA.
Not violent? ALL humans are violent, all you need is the right (or wrong) set of circumstances. Ask Lt Kenda.....the stupid things people have committed violence over and to whom.....I feel sorry for your husband, hopefully, ex, and hopefully he has a nice life with someone who truly loves him.
Fk that dude! Literally, and figuratively!!! What if he contracted an STD from having his butt burglarized, and passed it on to you unknowingly! I'm very straight!!!! I can respect a gay person's life decisions, as long as you're true to yourself! But, this sht right here... IS SCANDALOUS!!!
At least you're more creative than those other bots, who all use the same story about fulwork or whatever. I'll give you that, Alyson.
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They absolutely had something to do with what he did to her. Her ex threw her under the bus and placed the blame for their divorce on her so then his family was hounding her instead of him. And when she was already in an incredibly vulnerable place after being lied to and cheated on by her ex, his family kept pestering her into thinking cheating was ok and to deal with it. Of course in a moment like that, she'd snap and say something she regretted. Which she completely did seem to regret outing him that way. But the core issues were all caused by him so tbh he basically got what he deserved.
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I don't think she cares what the ex family think. I think she's worried the MIL would have done everything in her power to prevent the divorce happening. Plus, he even lied about the reason for the divorce, putting all the blame on OP! That tips the scale for me. You might think ESH, but he's a much bigger AH than OP, even if she were to accept a micron of blame.
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He pretended feeling for her for years and bound her to him letting her believe it was a relationship of love. She won't get that time back and has lost years of opportunity to be in a sincerely loving relationship. That is abhorrent, the level at which he used her whilst protecting himself and gay partner so they could have a fully loving relationship that was at the same time denied to her.
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Sir, this a post about a man who cheated on a women he wasn't attracted to and lied about why he was divorcing her. Not really the place to post your love potion scam.
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This is such a shitty argument! What he should have done was be HONEST with her and let her consent to being a brood mare. Pressure from your religious nut job family does not give you the excuse to disrespect and manipulate other people.
Load More Replies... Sounds like the ex is willing to set her on fire to keep himself warm, so he’s just getting back what he was trying to do to her instead. He doesn’t want to suffer any consequences but he’s willing to use her as a breeder, waste years of her life, harass her to the point of the law getting involved, and then ruin her name in her community to the point she feels she has to move away to get peace and then he wants to cry about losing his shitty family? Bollocks. I’m queer and outing people is normally heinous but this man is a monster. You don’t get to punch people over and over and then cry victim when they knock your ass out.
Indeed, he set this up himself. He knows his family so knew MIL would do something like that, he's been building a house of lies so it was on him to add an extra shed of lies to prevent this. Also: Chances are the MIL will not believe he's gay, pure pig-headed unwillingness to face facts is the way to pull through.
Load More Replies... I started out reading expecting to have some sympathy for the husband's situation, thinking it would be a case of a man who cannot face who he is, so throws himself into being what he sees as the straight, married with children, but then finds he can't keep living with the pretence. A really shitty thing to do to her, but at least he would have not been intending to hurt her, thinking he could make it work. However the fact that he had a long term partner already shows he knew exactly who he was and was comfortable with it, he just did not want to deal with the effects that would have on his life. She could have just thrown the MIL out her house and said nothing, however he intentionally put the wife in this position, so can deal with the fallout
I've no sympathy for manipulators, and that man was a textbook manipulator. He deserved to have his web of lies pulled apart, as does anyone who engages in such underhanded behavior. Honesty is a cornerstone of trust, and trust is one of the sustaining pillars of a healthy marriage. Should you topple that pillar, don't be surprised at the consequences of doing so.
In response to Gabby: yes, I am gay; just ask my wife. Yes, I do have extremely homophobic family; my father saw fit to rape me when I was a child for not being cisgendered, and also constantly slammed gay people when I was growing up. Also, my father was a manipulator who ruined his entire family over the course of 35 years, culminating in an attempted double murder on my mother and I. So kindly don't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about.
Load More Replies... as a queer girl with homophobic family, nta. this guy is such a jerk, using you, cheating, and then blaming you for the divorce. You were completely justified and i hope you get away from this piece of s**t and find happiness with someone who loves you
The sad thing is that he'd been totally honest... he'd had been able to find a wife anyway, some girl from a conservative Mormon family who'd agree to be a gay man's wife and life a respectable Mormon life. Better an honest gay husband who is committed to being a good father to their kids and a friend to his wife, than a straight husband who wants 30 kids.
Load More Replies... NTA. This coward was confirming her to a love less marriage, a shell of a life. He took away her option to have a fulfilling life with someone who adores her. Even if she never finds that, she willvstill be better off. If she hadn't caught him with his partner, she would have certainly sensed something was missing. Selfish little man.
he went into the relationship knowing it was a lie and used her that is far more cruel than what he did because it was what he planned all along what she did was done in a moment of anger NTA
OP was harmed. It’s not about his being gay that’s the issue. It’s about the betrayal of her trust and the literal harm he caused her! NTA
Agree. That didn't make it necessary to out him to his family, she could have gotten her divorce and gone on with her life without paying him back for the hurt he'd caused. But she didn't do it intentionally or with the intent to hurt, it slipped out during an angry moment, so oh well! She was under no obligation to keep his secrets.
Load More Replies... This complete sack of shít married her and had kids with her while having an entire relationship the whole time and he’s saying she ruined his life? What a disgustingly selfish piece of shît. He deserves every bit of pain he’s going through. She’s actually lucky his family is so trashy, because otherwise he’d get away with no consequences for his lies. I think fundamentalists shouldn’t exist but oh well in this case. He seems like he doesn’t see women as humans anyway.
Gay people can have children and have a normal life! Around 30% of people in my hood are married gay couples, most of them have children. They bring their kids to school, go to the grocery stores, compete for the best Halloween or Christmas decorated house, have parties and play dates. And that is normal. What is not normal is when your super traditional and selfish parents pressure you into something that is not natural to you , like marrying a person with opposite sex- so they (your parents) can be happy even if it will make their gay children miserable.
That's not the point. The dude is in the wrong. Straight ip
Load More Replies... a person being gay/straight/trans/bi should not be an excuse for toxicity. period.
I know it must suck, being gay and having such an awful family, but her ex was an asshole. He tried to use her as cover and cheated on her.
F**k him. You are a saint. He's a manipulative s**t who used you as a baby factory then had the f*****g audacity to blame you for the divorce. Tell his family every little worried detail for his affair. Being gay has nothing to do with his disgusting behaviour. He deserves it all. Of you did have kids, keep them the f**k away from him forever. They deserve a pile of air so much more than a dad like that in their lives.
NTA. I am sorry for you both. Your ex was way wrong. It was abusive and manipulative for him to use you like this and you responded appropriately to extreme emotional pressure. I hope you can learn to trust and find genuine love. I feel just a tiny bit sorry for him too. He's an arsehole, but if he had felt safe to live as he truly is, perhaps he wouldn't have been an arsehole.
I don't think that coming out would have been unsafe for him... just disadvantageous.
Load More Replies... He made his own bed and now he has to sleep in it... His (by far means faux wife) has protected him until she couldn't take any more of his bullshit. Yeah for her to have herself freed from such a toxic men (the gender does not count here, I'm referring simply to the actions of the significant other).
NTA. He lied to you, used you, wasted you time, hopes and dreams, and he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. F**k him. F**k his family. That entire thing is his problem to deal with, not yours. He's a spineless cowardly child and you're done with him. His mother had no right to corner you and berate you, he could have easily told the family that your breakup was private and for them not to interfere, but sounds like he didn't care about any of the aftereffects of the breakup on you. Another reason to say f**k him. She deserved to get chewed out by you, he deserved to get abuse from his family for being a liar ON EVERY FRONT, and you deserve to be free of this stupidity. Tell him to grow up and become a man, and that he's not financially dependent on his family so he can tell them to f**k off, his relationship with them is not your responsibility. Good luck to you. Mail him a 'bag of dic*s' for fun. (BagOfDic*s.com)
Heres my stance: OP is the AH for outing their ex, but ex is AH for lying and making OP deal with the family
The son is as bad as his mother. Both narcissist and making excuses
Karma is a bitch. You can’t throw someone under the bus and then cry when they tell the truth, this is all caused by living a lie and willing to fool someone to get what you need from them. Honesty in this situation maybe the best thing for him. He needed to get right with everything and his actions brought it to life one way or another. If he was honest with you this wouldn’t have happened but he made you believe a lie so he can use you for his own purpose instead. He made his bed.
I know not all Mormons are cool with bigami... But he had the perfect setup of he was just honest with his wives about it... Find some lesbian couple looking to raise some kids. A couple weddings and a turkey baster and a close family friend. The wives get an extra hand with the kids guy can have his boyfriend and more over family can be happily ignorant... Just sucking it up and getting out of the closet might is probably a better choice... If this family won't accept him as he is, they don't deserve a son willing to risk every thing just to be honest with them.
If you trust someone with a deep secret then f-them over and lie about it making them look like the problem then you deserve what you get.
So he's gay, and knew he was gay all along and is revolted by female bodies... how the f**k did he get 'it' up long enough to have kidS with her??
Not all gay men are "revolted" by female bodies - they just aren't attracted to them. It's easy enough to use fantasy and turn the lights off if the goal is children.
Load More Replies... "mormon shunning kind" Thats my religion and anybody who shuns people cuz they are gay are not following the gospel.
ESH - Nothing that he did is OK. He lied, cheated, manipulated, and used her and he has to own those actions. On the flip side, she has to own hers. His actions, no matter how heinous, justify what she did. No matter how horrible he is, he deserves to control his coming out (or not) experience. She took that away from him.
NTA, he blamed her for the devorce. Made her look bad. Yes he did stuff wrong but then also putting it on her so she has to deal with it is not okay. He should have blamed himself, thanked her for the years together etc. And be a shield against MIL. He just threw her under the bus.
Load More Replies... Two wrongs don't make a right. His actions were wrong and he should be held accountable for cheating. Her outing him to his mother was also wrong. I'm gay and my mother is extremely religious and homophobic. I no longer have a relationship with her, but the thought of her finding out I'm gay is scary. She really would stop loving me.
There are a lot of they're-their-there and your-you're issues in these comments. That is all. Also, NTA.
Not violent? ALL humans are violent, all you need is the right (or wrong) set of circumstances. Ask Lt Kenda.....the stupid things people have committed violence over and to whom.....I feel sorry for your husband, hopefully, ex, and hopefully he has a nice life with someone who truly loves him.
Fk that dude! Literally, and figuratively!!! What if he contracted an STD from having his butt burglarized, and passed it on to you unknowingly! I'm very straight!!!! I can respect a gay person's life decisions, as long as you're true to yourself! But, this sht right here... IS SCANDALOUS!!!
At least you're more creative than those other bots, who all use the same story about fulwork or whatever. I'll give you that, Alyson.
Load More Replies... They absolutely had something to do with what he did to her. Her ex threw her under the bus and placed the blame for their divorce on her so then his family was hounding her instead of him. And when she was already in an incredibly vulnerable place after being lied to and cheated on by her ex, his family kept pestering her into thinking cheating was ok and to deal with it. Of course in a moment like that, she'd snap and say something she regretted. Which she completely did seem to regret outing him that way. But the core issues were all caused by him so tbh he basically got what he deserved.
Load More Replies... I don't think she cares what the ex family think. I think she's worried the MIL would have done everything in her power to prevent the divorce happening. Plus, he even lied about the reason for the divorce, putting all the blame on OP! That tips the scale for me. You might think ESH, but he's a much bigger AH than OP, even if she were to accept a micron of blame.
Load More Replies... He pretended feeling for her for years and bound her to him letting her believe it was a relationship of love. She won't get that time back and has lost years of opportunity to be in a sincerely loving relationship. That is abhorrent, the level at which he used her whilst protecting himself and gay partner so they could have a fully loving relationship that was at the same time denied to her.
Load More Replies... Sir, this a post about a man who cheated on a women he wasn't attracted to and lied about why he was divorcing her. Not really the place to post your love potion scam.
Load More Replies... This is such a shitty argument! What he should have done was be HONEST with her and let her consent to being a brood mare. Pressure from your religious nut job family does not give you the excuse to disrespect and manipulate other people.
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