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Acting like a "lady", smiling at strangers while walking down the street, looking like you just stepped out of a magazine cover — these are just a few things society assumes women want to do every day. Of course, it would be wrong to say that expectations for women haven’t changed in recent years. They certainly have, and for the better. But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

Rubbergloves44 asked women of Reddit to share some of the outdated things they are expected to live up to, and they delivered. More than a thousand comments flooded the thread with subtle and not-so-subtle ways people set ridiculous presumptions about female behavior.

Whether it’s believing all women want children or need to be devoted to their lousy husbands, Bored Panda has selected some of the best answers from the thread. Upvote our favorites as you go, and let us know in the comments the outdated beliefs you personally think need to change right away.

#1

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Policing the way women dress instead of policing the way men react to it

Late-Willingness-903 , Jereme Rauckman Report

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Ranger Kanootsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a man but I completely agree. Men who tell women that they "asked" to be sexually abused because of what they were wearing can f**k off.

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Karoline Constance Dahl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done you then good sir coz I am a feminist who's been feeling very low.. you just restored my faith in men a lil bit more thank you

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Aski Markup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They hate it when we wear too little, they hate it when we wear too much...

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Paul Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could they in any way tell you might possibly be female?? Well then there's your problem...don't do that! Better yet, never go outside at all, ever!

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LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How you feel is not my problem. But how you express that feeling is going to cause YOU a lot of problems.

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Carter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is still common decency to dress appropriately depending on the venue. That goes for all people, men included. I won't wear tank tops when i go out to eat and I always put a shirt on when I walk into a convenience store: I live in Florida and men always in 7-11 shirtless. Gross

monilip avatar
Monilip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure it's otherwise, at least acording to ław. Rape is forbidden, wearing dress too small is not. By law

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Z Kalnina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, I can upvote any post on this thread! This is verbal gold.

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Paul Mitchell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Borat in his mankini was the butt of jokes because he was over exposed. Sure, anyone can dress how they like, and people can react how they want to as long as it's also within the bounds of decency.

naesil avatar
Naesil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, like I fully support ladies to be able to go topless if they want :P but still I dont want to see anyone without shirt in a restaurant. There is place and time for everything.

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Keith Mitchem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care if people walk around naked. Just as long as your comfortable with what you got on O got your back.

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J Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

However whether it is when we go on a date or a general night out and think meeting a man wouldn’t be a bad thing, we as women do ‘sometimes’ dress for attention. The post doesn’t mention rape which is obviously always the rapists fault but there seems to be a trend growing where us women are happy for attention if we are attracted to whoever it is giving it but if we aren’t then the man/person is a creep and shouldn’t be looking

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Egg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do you live in a deluded fantasy world, you stupid c**t? The answer is yes. Yes you do.

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Robert Thompson
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2 years ago

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How would women react if I wore a skirt so short that my b#tt cheek was showing? It may not be the gender that is the problem.

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Got Myself 4 Pandas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They'd react by thinking "oh, his butt cheeks are hanging out", if they're with someone they may point it out and laugh - they wouldn't use it as an excuse to assault you in any way. That's kinda the point though, your reaction to how someone dresses is your responsibility and yours to control - I don't think that men can't control themselves, they just don't want to and feel some kind of justification if they think some is dressed to show off. Even if the person is looking for attention it doesn't give anyone the right to verbally or physically assault them - let's face it, everyone wants to look attractive, people have different ideas of what that is. But using how someone dresses as an excuse for unwanted behaviour is beyond ridiculous and always has been. I can't believe that this is still even a thought in anyones mind

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Eric r
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2 years ago

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U can't seriously expect men or even lesbians I've seen not to react when they see a slutty dresser. It's natural to be attracted to provocative body parts.

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Pandas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People react to everything, it's human nature. But you reacting to someone's appearance doesn't need to involve them, you can think what you like but you have no right to verbally or physically assault someone just because of how they're dressed. If you genuinely cannot help but react in such ways you have no business being around people in public spaces, you need serious mental health treatment. But men can control themselves, they just don't want to. It's awful when you've dressed up, think you're looking nice for a night out with the girls and then these sleazy guys pester you all night - it's annoying, frustrating and quite honestly scary at times since often they refuse to back off even after making it clear you aren't interested. Even if you do want to approach someone you find attractive then do it politely and if they say no then leave it at that - why is that so hard for men to do?

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Thomas Sweda
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2 years ago

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Serious question here. Ladies, what would be your comments be about the way the Kardashians dress ?

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thomas why are you asking this? I can only guess you're trying to see if we'll s**t shame them? No luck. They are beautiful woman and in no way do they ask to be raped bc they were tight or skimpy clothing. Believe it or not women are capable of giving criticism to other women wo shaming them for their bodies. Here you go the Kardashian's have horrible style. Their clothes are hideous most of the time. Everything is plastic and leather it's not comfortable and it looks stupid. In no way do the women themselves deserve to be raped bc of it.

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Mark Wallin
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2 years ago

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I agree. Nothing wrong with showing off the curves of their Butt or their Cannel Toe. Although I have respect for women in nice Dresses and Skirts. I am old enough to remember what's under Neath. I don't want to see it any more, keep it covered have self respect and respect others. Get a good high paying job. Don't use your body to gain attention. There are enough screwing their way to the top. OK anger Mail. I can respect your opinion.

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Healing Moon Breezes
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2 years ago

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Policing is acceptable in the workplace and other places. You are there to work not be a distraction.

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Wise beauty
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just let women wear what they are comfortable with wearing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to feel comfortable with wearing a crop top and hope that you don’t get scolded for wearing one or even worse, sexualized for wearing one?

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Clark
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2 years ago

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So just ignore biology. Got it. I see titties, I react.

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women see breasts, women see asses and a man with a beautiful physique or face. Women, by and large, do not grab, stalk, whistle, or cat call (if we do, it's considered "funny" even when it's not) Policing what women and girls wear through sexual aggression is a threat.

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#2

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Automatically assuming all women enjoy, want and will have children.

Connie_Damico , Xavier Mouton Photographie Report

#3

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Being docile and passive. We’re expected to take so much c**p on a daily basis without complaining. Sexual harassment? it’s just a compliment. Sexual assault? you had it coming. do you really want to ruin his life? Periods or any type of pain/illness? it’s not that bad. The amount of mental labor we’re expected to do is exhausting, but we have to do it or nothing would get done. And then men get offended and call us names when we assert ourselves or express any emotion other than happiness. Our boundaries are constantly trampled and we’re supposed to just take it with a smile. It’s so frustrating!

HRPunsNStuff , Ben White Report

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S. Mi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We somehow paradoxically socialize women to expect sexual abuse, blame ourselves and yet somehow think we are the only ones.

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#4

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Taking care of a husband like he is an overgrown toddler incapable of doing anything for himself

Stormallthetime , Erik Mclean Report

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Mike Crow
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife takes care of me when I am down and I take care of her when she is down.

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#5

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do A woman must be lady like

You know how I feel about that one? (Farts loudly) that’s how I feel

VeeSquibbles , Alphacolor Report

#6

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Having to defy the normal process of ageing and that ageing somehow diminishes our worth.

lastseenhitchhiking , Maria Lupan Report

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. This. Yes, I'm looking more like my grandma. So what? She had a boyfriend in her late 80s. :-)

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#7

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do A man can walk away from a pregnancy or a family and go on with life without a bat of an eye from society but heaven forbid a woman ever walk away from her kids

Cultural-Chart3023 , Anastasiia Chepinska Report

#8

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That all women want a man/relationship.

I'm happily single for years and don't want to be in a relationship. I don't get why people assume that single women aren't as happy as the ones in a relationship, when it was proven that single women are the happiest population out there.

Programmer_girl0 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Dora Ferrier
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Preach! I love being single. I was never the little girl who grew up fantasizing about my future wedding to my Prince Charming. I can't think of anything I'd rather do less. People always assume my life is unfulfilling and lonely but it's the complete opposite! I have 100% freedom to do whatever I want to do and I love it!

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#9

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That doctors STILL do not provide adequate health care for us. And the fact that we still don't have autonomy of our bodies (in the US)

Super_sassy_cakesf12 , Kristine Wook Report

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Swan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in the us or anywhere else ; trans surgery = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body ; breast removal surgery (for example to prevent cancer(or any other reason (confort etc...)) = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body ; trying to get a tattoo = are you sure, you'll regret it ; plastic surgery = you don't need it ; uterus removal (like to stop periods and period pain) = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body --- [for now (and certainly for ever ): I 'am' a woman so I'm not sure if it's a woman only thing or doctors and surgeons just don't listen to anyone]

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#10

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That we shouldn’t show anger. Men always talk about how hard it is that when they cry, they’re called a pussy or something like that. I agree that that is a valid issue and I wish it weren’t that way, but I also wish that women could express anger without getting called a b***h or being called irrational. We get asked if we’re menstruating, we get told we’re overreacting. Just once I’d like to feel free to be angry.

MrsFrobert , engin akyurt Report

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Olivia Sorenson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! Like am I only supposed to have emotions while I'm hormonal??

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#11

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Being ok with getting paid less than men for the same job

that_other_geek , Elisa Ventur Report

#12

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Dressing for men. I see many people tell women that they should not dye or cut their hair, not get tattoos, or wear certain fashion because it is unappealing to men. However, a lot of women nowadays (like me) dress for themselves and not for male pleasure.

BennaJoJenna , Caitlyn Roberts Report

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MoMcB
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That one always makes me laugh. I have, and my friends have been told that dyed hair, tattoos and how we dress is unattractive. Why do we want to be attractive to that type of man?

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#13

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That vaginas should be smooth always

ruthiebkind , Juli Kosolapova Report

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Mary Mosher
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the love of God, need we remind people that vaginas are an INTERNAL organ ... the outer area consists of inner and outer labia, and vulva.

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#14

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That women should do all the cooking and cleaning.

m0rbidowl , Gelmis Bartulis Report

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kid's teacher once asked what the kids thought about cleaning: was it the woman's responsibility or is it something that both should take care of? Only kid in class who thought it was a shared responsibility, was mine. I think we have a long way to go.

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#15

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Ugh, I live in the Southern US & the whole “wife must fix husbands dinner plate before hers or the children’s” is strong here. I get in debates all the time about this—it agitates me to no end. I don’t know why. It just comes off very misogynistic.

The reasoning I’ve heard from people I know is that “if your husband works hard then he should not have to fix his own food when he comes home” as if women don’t also work hard & almost always have to pull the second shift if kids are involved. I don’t understand why it’s such a debate. If it matters who eats first, then it should be the kids. If there’s no kids, then who cares? Both spouses can make their own plate or one (either one) can make both plates. I’m not a housewife or a waitress for my husband. We are equals, we both work & gender roles are outdated as hell.

boysenberry_22 , Kevin McCutcheon Report

#16

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do The concept of virginity.

Alice-Xandra , DANNY G Report

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Always confused me as a kid--who were all these studs having sex with if the women were all virgins?

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#17

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That they need to wear makeup to look presentable — think a professional setting, a lot of people have the notion that it is lazy for a woman to not have ANY makeup on.

Now I wear makeup sometimes and sometimes I don’t, I just think it’s an outdated expecting that half of the population has never had.

heyitsamess , Annie Spratt Report

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Sarcastic Cow
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just because people (read men) who write these rules have no idea what makeup is. You can have your whole face covered in ´naked´ style and they will say ´ You see how good you look without all those colors on!´

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#18

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Vulgar language is not feminine.

Stopped counting how many times I was told that but I always told them to f**k themselves

nebunala4328 , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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June
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a f*****g lady.

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#20

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That women can’t do anything. Fixing things, manual labor, etc. I hate when my girlfriends say “I’m waiting on him to do this or that and it’s frustrating.” How about you get off your a*s and figure it out like he did. Lol

X13M1 , Robert Couse-Baker Report

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El Dee
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, the division of labour along the lines of gender - makes no sense at all..

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#21

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Being event coordinator, sender of household thank you notes, purchasing holiday gifts

Altruistic-Ad6449 , Shaun Wadham Report

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom bought all the gifts for my dad's side of the family for 15 years. And when she told my dad, it's your turn now, all the gifts stopped.

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#22

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That we all have a maternal instinct. Hahahaha NOPE.

catastrophized , FLOUFFY Report

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S. Mi
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a nurturing instint and exists in many people of all genders. We just try to socialize it out of children we've identified as male, while expecting it of women.

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#24

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Being devoted to shi**y husbands

happysmize , Many Wonderful Artists Report

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John Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have known a couple of women that were with guys just because "it would upset them to break up".. Girl he gives you a blackeye and you don't want to upset him, buy a clue. Leave, leave now, if it upsets him, who cares. The guy is obviously a d**k and deserves to be upset and alone.

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#25

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That women automatically make better caregivers (children or the elderly).

DisneyUp , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, most of the time they are. But that doesn't mean that, as a man, you shouldn't at least try.

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#26

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Having to smile and accommodate other people’s awkward and rude behavior. The- “I’m sorry I can’t help but to say or notice” and what they is creepy, unwarranted, intrusive, interrupting, offensive etc. Get out of my space! I don’t care that my voice is unusually high pitched or that whatever you noticed or have to say about me.

bourbonpuppybaby , x1klima Report

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kayla Mckee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or the the whole thing of of, you would be so much prettier if you did ______. Or two i get a lot, you smell good, and your eyes are so pretty......yeah I know because I shower and use a lotion and body spray combo that I love and I see my eyes every day, if you are getting that close you need to back out of my space or you might be met with a flying hand.

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#27

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Sex isn’t a right when you’re in a relationship. You have to maintain other parts of the relationship to keep that flame alive. “You must be cheating” isn’t going to make the situation any better.

GrandAffectionate708 , Adam Winger Report

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Robert Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hated it when [my now ex wife] would use that line. As if I was just a sex doll to her, a piece of meat without any person behind the flesh. (now I am well enough to say that I was the victim of an abusive partner)

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#28

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do That woman have to take birth control (hormonal) in a long term relationship

effingneedhelp , engin akyurt Report

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Rens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think both parties are equally responsible when it comes to birth control. It should be openly discussed and mutually agreed upon.

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#29

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do Giving birth. It is the second most terrifying and painful thing a person can go through, the first is burning alive. The industry is great at hiding the many difficulties of pregnancy just to further the human race. You can permanently lose grey matter in your brain, weaken your bladder, develop allergies?? during and after pregnancy. Don't even get me started on the labour itself- i have no idea why any informed woman would want that. just google 4th degree tears and you'll be put off for life

Salty-Floor-476 , Aditya Romansa Report

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Swan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I HAVE been burnt alive , and I would give birth if I could, I most likely can't (related to the burn thing) but if women are not ready to go through giving life to have a baby they can adopt; I understand women are also ready to go through this it's their choice how about the maximum informations about it and then they make their choice?

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#30

This Thread Has Women Sharing 30 Outdated Things Society Expects Them To Do It's mind blowing how many guys expect you to be a free therapist to them. Like, uh, I didn't sign up for this.

m0rbidowl , Hernán Piñera Report

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Scarlett
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Off topic but related. Being the therapist friend to anyone isn’t fun. Try not to get yourself in that position. I was that friend all through middle school but when I looked for help myself, none came. I’ve rid myself of being that friend in high school but now I don tell anyone when I need help because I got so used to never getting any.

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