I've had someone call 911 to know how long to smoke a brisket.
I've had someone call 911 to ask what the fines for parking tickets are.
I've had someone call 911 report that their trunk wasn't opening and they wanted to know what to do about it.
I've had someone call 911 in a rural community because a black dude was walking down the street and "we don't get their kind here".
I worked on 9/11. I had people call 911 for weeks after because there were "3 brown guys in a car and I thought you should know about it."
"How far down is it snowing?" All the way to the ground, now get the f*ck off my emergency line!
"The neighbor is giving my horse drugs." - 0500 or earlier, every. Single. Day. Usually followed up about an hour later by: "It's crack!"
"My washing machine is telling me to file for bankruptcy." This was a confused elderly lady so it was actually a little sad, but I'm including it because it left me completely speechless at the time. I think my response was, "I... you... what?"
Had a drunk person call to report he was being harassed. Truth was..... He was being arrested by our officers for throwing pizza at people. All I heard in the background was one of my officers saying to him "that better not be our dispatcher on the phone" followed by some muffled talking and my officer taking the phone and saying "he will be taking a ride with us now" and hung up.