It’s not just detectives, wizards, and FBI agents who keep secrets at work—lots of professions have open secrets that regular folks like you and I don’t generally know about. Reddit user HannibalGoddamnit was interested to find these secrets out, so they asked the online community to share some of these mysteries with the internet.

We’ve collected the very best trade secrets, so scroll down and upvote your faves, dear Pandas. Be sure to share the open secrets from your own professions in the comments below! HannibalGoddamnit’s thread on Reddit got a lot of attention: they got 3 awards, over 11.5k upvotes, and more than 9.3k redditors left a comment.

Bored Panda reached out to HannibalGoddamnit and spoke to them about their viral thread. “As an engineering student who’s about to graduate, I have always been concerned that I may not be ‘fully’ aware of the day-to-day job details of my future position. Especially when it comes to how comfortable I will be dealing with the real professional secrets that no one would ever teach you at school and you will figure out once you start working,” the redditor told us about what inspired them to start the thread. Scroll down for the full interview.

#1

Your dog or cat is much more comfortable when you are there with them during euthanasia. It's really hard when people say, "It's too hard for me to be here with him." And leave the room for it. It is one of the hardest things ever, but they need you there with them. They look around for you sometimes.

That being said, if we do the euthanasia without you, we always have one staff member whose only job during the procedure is to cuddle and comfort your pet and tell them how much their owner loves them, and what a "good boy" they are.

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R L
Community Member
1 month ago

We forget that it can be hard on the vet as well. Knowing it may be in the animals best interests doesn't make it easier, even if you do it daily.

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#2

Vet worker here. Probably doesn’t count as a “secret” but we absolutely do pet your cats and dogs a lot when you bring them in.

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago

i would too!

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#3

I am in IT

We don't always know WHY the fix worked and we don't care.

ITworksGuys Report

Nicole Lawler
Community Member
1 month ago

oh this is so true. 9 years in IT and i still don't care if it works as long as it works

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“So that made me wonder, out of mere curiosity, why can’t people just share some of whatever they have been holding back as ‘open secrets’ related to their professions? Secrets that can be interesting to know and fun to speak about, with no harm at all!” HannibalGoddamnit said.

The redditor admitted that they never expected their thread to go viral. “I was expecting perhaps to get some funny jokes about how big named professions are actually so boring, but not thousands of ‘Oh God, have mercy’ secrets!” they explained.

“I have received messages from fellow redditors saying they have spent a lot of time reading the thread, and how it was ‘a good read,’” HannibalGoddamnit shared how happy Reddit’s reaction to their thread made them. They told us that the most shocking comment for them personally was the freelance ghostwriter’s tale about how Russian and Middle Eastern men publish ghostwritten romance or erotica books under female pen names and flood the market.

#4

Bartender here: if you're cool I will absolutely bend over backwards to make sure your night goes amazing. That means extra stiff drinks, remakes if you don't like something, faster service, etc. You don't even have to tip THAT well, just treat me like a human and maybe have a funny story to make my night go faster.

If you're mean to me you get exactly what you ordered and not a mL more.

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Janine B.
Community Member
1 month ago

It's sad some individuals don't treat others as human.

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#5

Work in telecommunications. 5G does not cause Coronavirus

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Ceredwyn Ealanta
Community Member
1 month ago

But do those complaints give you migraines?

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#6

Former psych ward tech here.

Patients and visitors alike used to frequently complain about all of the ridiculous and specific rules that we had on the unit (patients can’t use the TV remote themselves, use a standard regular sized hair tie, etc). We don’t make those rules just because. Each and every rule has a very real story behind it that we cannot divulge to you. People are terrifyingly creative when they really want to hurt themselves.

These incidents may never happen again, but we don’t want to take that risk. And so, a new and seemingly stupid rule is born.

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Monday
Community Member
1 month ago

Stupid rules exist because people do stupid things.

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Bored Panda asked HannibalGoddamnit what would happen if everybody found out everyone else’s professional open secrets. They said that this would have a “considerable” impact on society. “I really hope that no one will take advantage of it in a bad way.”

They added: “It was really brave of all of the people to share what has always been untold. The thread needs to [be shared] as widespread as [possible], for it is a national treasure. I thank everyone who contributed to the thread. I was just the conversation starter.”

#7

There is no cloud, it's just someone else's computer.

TheGarp Report

David Jeu
Community Member
1 month ago

*Squint at the sky

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#8

I work in a nursing home. Your sweet little Meemaw and Pawpaw are as***es. I worked at Walmart before my nursing home and I had way fewer problems with rude, entitled, and plain malicious people than I do now in nursing. Almost all of the men sexually harass the female staff too. Including, but not limited to, sexually explicit comments and requests, grabbing, groping, flashing, masturbating, etc etc. This is, surprisingly, much more common amongst completely cognizant residents than it is amongst those with dementia. Its an extremely difficult job and no one gets paid enough, especially not the aid because we’re the ones exclusively dealing with almost all of the stuff mentioned above.

Dropshipalpha Report

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
1 month ago

I always found it weird that people always think of old people as sweet, loving, caring people. Those people who have been assholes their whole lives, will be old assholes as well. They don’t suddenly drop their racist, sexist, mysoginist, etc views just because they aged.

Mike
Community Member
1 month ago

I read somewhere that as you get older you loose your filter. So that little voice you have that says, "Don't say that" gets quieter and quieter.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

Yep. My mom dealt with this as a nurse. All. Her. Career. Forty years of that. And the nursing home was worst. BTW, the sexual harassment is often worst among the "cognizant men", but in the dementia ward? My mom quit b/c the law forbids restraints, and the patients were free to wander up and punch people (each other, nurses, etc.) And families freak out about sedation... Well, take care of Grandpa or Mum at home, and get a cheekbone broken when you say, "Hello." Tends to change perspective. BTW, my mom has said if she is diagnosed with dementia to please sedate her, and never put her in a nursing home. It's in the legal paperwork I will follow that wish.

Timmy
Community Member
1 month ago

It seems pretty bad to sedate someone and keep them alive. What’s the point?

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Jef Bateman
Community Member
1 month ago

Nursing homes are so expensive (often thousands per month, no kidding) that people sometimes resent the workers for getting so much money and not taking more care of their grandpa. Workers in those places get paid horribly; somebody else is making all the profits. This even goes for certified nurses and doctors working in them. People work in nursing homes because they are either compassionate people or in a situation where they can't get other work. I suspect most of them have some sort of PTSD from what they have to go through.

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 month ago

Coroprate HQ makes the $$$, and often double-bill Medicare/aid (or whomever) and rarely get busted.

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Nannychachi
Community Member
1 month ago

I've worked as a nurse in a nursing home for 13 years. This is allll true.

Tamera Gardner
Community Member
1 month ago

I used to be the director at a geriatric nursing facility and some of my employees would harshly judge the adult children of some of our residents for rarely or never coming to see their mother or father who seemed so sweet. I had to remind them that we don’t know the adult child’s story. We don’t have any clue what reasons they have now for not wanting to be around. It’s not our place to judge.

RJ
Community Member
1 month ago

Some may have been horrible parents, but my mom worked there as a receptionist and she said often when one died, all of a sudden the family that never visited came over to fight about the inheritance.

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Lemonclouds20
Community Member
1 month ago

Well typically their Brains are decaying, so it's not surprising. Although, some people are just vile and always have been.

E Menendez
Community Member
1 month ago

My mother had to tell my grandmother that the nurses she hired to help care for her were provided by the state because she knew how horribly they would be treated if she knew my mom paid them. My mother told the nurses that too so they wouldn't slip up and one was shocked that it would have been worse than it was.

Oskar vanZandt
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Agree with care home staff being underpaid... those extortionate fees do not filter down to those who do the hard graft. I have read about residents (men) abusing female residents... despicable behaviour. That kind of person needs to be segregated from the rest of the residents- like on a secure wing where they have no free access to others (who have the right to live free from harassment and abuse). And sedate them if need be. You have my support.

ispeak catanese
Community Member
1 month ago

I worked in a nursing home for two months and witnessed masturbation & groping. We had to park one man who was not demented in such a way as to make it difficult for him to get around, otherwise he would masturbate ladies who were aphasic. Any time one of us saw him getting close to anyone, we'd have to move him away and point him in a different direction. It was easier to do that than to get him to release his hand.

Connie Martin
Community Member
1 month ago

Frontotemporal dementia and vascular dementia can cause behavior disruption (particularly sexual inhibition and racism) and personality changes. That doesn't mean the patients are "as***es." I agree aides are not paid enough, but judging the ill and infirm does not help them, and also doesn't help you get through your day.

Astrid Nineor
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Read the text properly :) the behavior is MORE common among those NOT having dementia

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Yaz Cam
Community Member
1 month ago

Nursing homes are known to have high STD rates

Rani Johnson
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes. Old people want to get off too & aren't being safe or clean.

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Grace Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh dear god!

Malcontent
Community Member
1 month ago

That's because old people don't want to be locked up in a nursing home and want to retain their independence- a carehome isn't much better than a prison. My Mother worked in one many years ago and you'd be surprised just how upsetting it is for the people who have to move into one, and the ways in which they display their displeasure to the carers.

tarynkraus
Community Member
1 month ago

I also work in a nursing home, all of this is 100% true.

Grace Perez-Grafals
Community Member
1 month ago

People that are assholes, only get worse as they get older, not better.

Evil Little Thing
Community Member
1 month ago

I have heard this before

LaDonna Hulcy
Community Member
1 month ago

100%! I can't tell you how many times I was groped, spit on, or verbally abused for doing my job HELPING people!

Amanda Hunter
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, just because they're old doesn't mean they suddenly turn into decent humans.

Sheila DeVille
Community Member
1 month ago

When you get old feel like a bother, treated as such, have lost your independence we will see just how sweet you are too

Astrid Nineor
Community Member
1 month ago

Difference between being upset and asking young nurses "wanna go fuck in my room?" And yes, they DO say that

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Jackson Bowen
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, my sister works in a nursing home, gets the same sh*t.

Mshauri Mazuri
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah. Old people. They become more and more entitled, even though they know they are in the wrong. I know I'll be old soon and I sincerely hope and pray not to be stubborn.

Shelby P
Community Member
1 month ago

respect is a two way street in most cases.

Kayden Yan
Community Member
1 month ago

*sigh* old people

Al Reilly
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe you should pick another career path for yourself as this doesn't seem to be working out for you!! The job requires a special skill set that you seem to be missing. Not your fault

Keley Babs
Community Member
1 month ago

also, Meemaw and PawPaw are human and if disinhibited by dementia, they're gonna hook up... A LOT. It's not church camp, we can't babysit them the whole time. And don't just think it's the other person's fault because there's NO WAY your sweet grandma would want to hook up...

Delphine Susan Pillar
Community Member
1 month ago

Nurses deal with it too, not just the aides. I was grabbed, groped, had pee thrown at me, cursed at.

Delphine Susan Pillar
Community Member
1 month ago

Nurses deal with it too.

Timmy
Community Member
1 month ago

Is that why there’s videos of the staff mistreating and punching the old people in the homes? If you aren’t prepared for a job like that you shouldn’t be working there. Nurses and doctors know ahead of time what they are signing up for. Unless you went to school and were trained to work with people like that you shouldn’t be there. I hope you were going to school for it while you were working at Walmart? Just working at Walmart shouldn’t be a prerequisite to work at a nursing home.

Steve Cruz
Community Member
1 month ago

When I was in college, I worked as a companion to a man with Alzheimer's. Every day I would pick him up around 3pm for a walk, meal, maybe a movie. When he went into managed care because of incontinence, he was awful to the women. One of the women told me she wore protective gear and that some of the men had to have their wrists and ankles strapped to the bed so they couldn't grope, grab, pinch and hurt women caregivers. If family members objected, they could move them to another facility or come in and do bathing/bed change themselves.

Kim Sutton
Community Member
1 month ago

Sad. But not everyone old is like that and not everyone in aged care either...think it depends on person who they are at what ever age. Yes I have worked in a shop and in care facilities, both aged and psychiatric. Have seen ars***les on both sides of the fence.

Hans Brandt
Community Member
1 month ago

I've reached that realization years ago, but every time I call an old fuck an asshole, I get called on it by the white knights around.

Joel Emmett
Community Member
1 month ago

It sounds like the people who are going to die alone are doing so for good reason.

Billy Williams
Community Member
1 month ago

and a job you chose!

Chris DiFonso
Community Member
1 month ago

It seems to me that aging brings out the worse in a lot of folks. Maybe it's that their ability to mask/filter ugly thoughts and actions declines. Or maybe they were overall good people and aging is hard to go through.

Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
1 month ago

Those fucking men -__-

SciFi Vortex
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Two possibilities here. 1. You're an idiot insisting on working in a job you hate. 2. You love it.

Anna Bender
Community Member
1 month ago

maybe you should work in a different profession.

Katinka Min
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh, the children know that thier parents are assholes. that's usually why they are in a home, in the first place.

Jace
Community Member
1 month ago

Not necessarily. It certainly might make it more likely.

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Bubbs Art
Community Member
1 month ago

JFC.. smh

Stille20
Community Member
1 month ago

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People are people. People in nursing homes are often bored, angry and depressed. The food is terrible, people who are aging are often uncomfortable. It's the end of your like and you are in a modified prison. Maybe if these people were treated like people (and held to those standards) they would act a little more like people.

John Louis
Community Member
1 month ago

I am a magician and have performed at 100's of nursing homes. The quality of the care varies. It is exceptionally unfair to saw all nursing homes dehumanize their patients.

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Shart
Community Member
1 month ago

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Well maybe they are asses and secial deviants because their families basically dumped them there to die..imagine having a house,good job,taking vacations..now your stuck with a cot and 2 hot meale

iblowsheep
Community Member
1 month ago

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Yeah. Baby boomers are, have been and always will be as***es

Jace
Community Member
1 month ago

This is just as bad as when boomers blame shit on millennials. Slandering ANY generation of people is a shitty attitude.

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Bill
Community Member
1 month ago

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You realize this is because of mental deterioration

Sam
Community Member
1 month ago

reasonable, but some of them are just assholes plain and simple

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#9

I’m a furniture upholsterer, and the amount of times other ‘professionals’ just recover the old fabric and filling drives me mental. If you’re paying for reupholstery, ask for progress photos. Nobody needs all that nasty old fabric hidden underneath and it’s not fair to the client as they don’t necessarily know any better (nor should they have to)

AliCracker Report

Grace Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

That’s good to know

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Some of these secrets blew our minds. As it turns out, things like dummy thermostats actually exist to stop people from fiddling about with the temperature. Not all IT specialists know (or even care) why the fixes they attempt really work. While most regular broadcast radio shows play prerecorded music and song requests from callers and the DJs have no control over what songs play: if you call in to request something, you’ll find that the lines are busy.

Some professions can be chock full of things that ordinary people know nothing about. For instance, The Guardian talked to a whole bunch of people to learn more about the mysterious things that go on behind the scenes.

A priest told The Guardian that a lot of people “don’t really know if you’re a real human or not.” People look at you weird if you’re dating someone or when you go to the gym with your collar on. While getting professionals to listen to you is incredibly difficult during meetings because you believe in God.

#10

I worked as a retail a manger in the past. A customer’s attitude and approach is about 99% of the reason someone would help them solve a problem.

Sale ended yesterday? Your return is past the date? You want a better price on a clearance item?

Be a normal kind person and you’ll usually get your way. If you start off being sh***y or demanding then,

“Sorry, I can’t help you, it’s store policy.”

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Nadine
Community Member
1 month ago

Of course. You catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar. ;-) It's also common decency to not be a pr*ck.

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#11

Teacher here. I learned early on in the game that there are a lot of supplies we don't have to pay for if we just know where to look and how to ask nicely. Want to have a lesson about plants? Go to a grocery store/florist a few days ahead and ask if they can set aside their dying flowers for your class. Need cardboard? Ask a store for their old boxes. I've even heard of my colleagues just going to stores and asking for donations and explaining why, and getting new stuff for free. It's amazing how much people are willing to go out of their way to help educate kids.

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Monday
Community Member
1 month ago

"ask nicely" is a great lifehack that can get you many things.

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#12

That most of those "3 people have booked this hotel today" or "4 people are looking at this prodocut right now" pop-ups on travel agency website and ecommerce sites are lies. Totally static and made up.

jyt4167 Report

Pamela24
Community Member
1 month ago

I know that. And yet - whenever I'm booking an accommodation through booking.com (which has taken over the market, more or less so I don't see a better option) I get stressed. I'm so pissed at myself for not being able to overcome it. But it just works.

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Meanwhile, an undertaker told The Guardian that it’s a cut-throat business that’s very competitive. However, the job itself isn’t depressing, according to that one undertaker: they feel happy to learn so much about humanity doing the job that they do.

A judge revealed that behind closed doors, most judges (even the most experienced ones) are way more anxious about their jobs than we realize. The decisions they have to make weigh heavily on their shoulders because they’re supposed to make sure that everyone receives justice. We have a sneaking suspicion that it’s not just these ‘exotic’ professions that are full of secrets—everyone, from janitors to call-center employees is bound to have something to share.

#13

We don’t actually know how general anesthesia works at the molecular level. There are theories but nothing concrete.

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Orillion
Community Member
1 month ago

That is scary...

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#14

Cinema theatres are full of bugs. No matter how much you clean, bugs will live off the food dropped and are very good at hiding, even exterminators can't get them all. Plus, with all kids of people coming in, they bring in bugs, fleas, lice etc and we can't refuse service just because someone absolutely stinks. Think about that next time you sir down. Not unheard of for cinema workers to keep your lost property and cash they find. Though most staff won't, one or two deffo will. High value lost property gets given to managers to 'deal with'. And yes this absolutely includes 'upmarket' fancy cinemas.

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Grace Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

Ewww although I’m not surprised I probably just chose to ignore that

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#15

Most people who work in IT support really aren't more tech savvy than the average user. They just know how to Google.

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Helena Houzarová
Community Member
1 month ago

That is more savvy than the average user.

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#16

My friend is a doctor. He said that hospitals always overcharges the patient. One solution to this is to ask for an itemized invoice, and more often than not, there will be a significant reduction in the invoice.

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago

that's petty much works in US only, thankfully (European there)

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#17

If you ever hear your local morning radio guy interviewing someone that seems too famous to talk to a local radio guy, that's because that celebrity recorded an interview and their audio was sent to radio stations everywhere, then the local guy rerecords the questions.

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Alessandro Chaves Morgan
Community Member
1 month ago

:O

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#18

If you see twelve different sellers for an item on Amazon, in all likelihood the total number of sellers is probably three to four, all of whom have multiple names selling the same item at different prices.

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Martti Laurson
Community Member
1 month ago

eBay too. Price is lower but shipping cost is higher. But the end cost is the same.

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#19

I work at a jewelry store that produces custom pieces. Diamonds and other precious stones get dropped and lost, by everyone, constantly. 3 or 4 times a day you will hear "Fu*k! Nobody move! Get the flashlight!" I saw the owner drop a whole tray of sapphires one day. Pretty sure part of his soul died. We're usually more careful with customer's stones, though. Usually.

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Orillion
Community Member
1 month ago

How are you supposed to stand still AND get the flashlight?

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#20

Teachers do have favorites.

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Nela Rothenbach
Community Member
1 month ago

Which is totally fine as long as they treat everyone equally.

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#21

The majority of regular broadcast radio shows are pre-recorded. If a DJ is broadcasting live (usually the morning shows), they still have no control over what music plays, it's all pre-programmed. They'll usually record phone requests and replay them during the voice break before the requested song is scheduled to play anyway, to make it seem like they're playing/taking requests. When the studio is empty, all phone lines are set to "busy", so no one calls and realizes there's no one there to answer.

Brookany40 Report

Katie Axon
Community Member
1 month ago

When I was 12, I called Mix 93.3 and requested We Weren't Born To Follow, by Bon Jovi. It was the next song they played. Are you saying that was a coincidence?

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#22

At the airlines, we generally have no idea where your bag is at any given time. It follows a chain of events to get to the right place. If it ends up missing, no one is "looking" for your bag. Your file gets loaded in a computer and when your bag is eventually scanned somewhere, a person is notified to grab it before it moves on to somewhere else. This also means, if you jump to an earlier flight, there is a strong chance that your bag is going to fly on the original flight. The time is usually too little to go find it, retag it and get it to a new flight. If you jump to another airline and we have already retagged it/ handed it off to a different airline, it is done. We are not going to be able to retrieve it. It is flying on that flight.

Just because your bag tag shows CLT on it does not mean it was accidentally sent there. We often send bags through multiple cities as it will reunite you and your bag, hours faster than the next direct flight. Sometimes, we even send it on other airlines that you never even flew on. We may even send it the other way around the globe. Ex. LAX to DXB(Dubai). You may have flown through London on British Airways, but the fastest way for me to send your bag may be through Seoul, South Korea on Delta and Korean air.

We try our best but it's a question of volume, staffing, time, and technology.

LikeLemun Report

R L
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I don't mind how it gets there, or even if it has more air miles than I do, as long as it arrives at the same destination as me, and it's twirling around on the carousel, undamaged, when I get off my flight. Given that I only travel locally, it's unlikely my bag will go walkabouts, but I like the idea of it having a good time.

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#23

I can fix most people's computer issues by doing 3 things:

run a free scan from malware bytes

open up msconfig.msc from typing it in the start menu, then going over to all the services and startup items and turning off so much crap that is either a virus (says Unknown or a blank, for the manufacturer name) or unnecessary (you can google if you don't know, plus click the box that says hide microsoft to dumb it down a bit).

Make them a new user account that doesn't have admin rights (they'll need to put in a admin name and password when they really want to install things, no need to always be logged in as an Admin.. click bait will kill your pc).

Then doing a few reboots... i teach this to family

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Cee Mor
Community Member
1 month ago

also a lot of did you try turning it on and off first (-;

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#24

I let my students cuss around me as long as they use it properly and it isn't offensive. They don't know this rule, only I do.

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Kesam
Community Member
1 month ago

Good policy. When you're frustrated, cussing is a healthy outlet.

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#25

Dummy thermostats are pretty common.

It basically works like a placebo where people feel more comfortable when they think they have control over the room temperature. It results in way fewer complaints.

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BG
Community Member
1 month ago

Also, the crosswalk buttons are often dummies, as well as the "close doors" button on elevators.

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#26

The recycling market is way down in the US because China had stopped accepting most of our recyclables. So, a lot of what you think you're recycling is just ending up in the landfill anyway.

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Shelby P
Community Member
1 month ago

I have yet to understand the benefits of recycling when I hear how much energy it uses and costs and whatever else. SO, why aren't we forcing manufacturers to use biodegradable materials? Why aren't we putting the responsibilities on the source instead of the consumer... Between costs of items and the increase in online shopping the consumer is the last person concerned with these materials... *duh*

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#27

The sheer magnitude of criminal cases that detectives have that will pretty much never even get looked at, much less investigated due to a massive lack of staffing.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

One big issue is that over 25% of prisoners are non-violent, low level criminals with low risk to public safety that would be better off with community service, probation or education. That is approx 364,000 people in the US alone. That would save about $20billion annually which could pay for more investigators, police, probation officers, education programs, school teachers, doctors etc.

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#28

Most hospitals are actually crazy trusting about who they release dead bodies to when people die.

Often times I show up with just a gurney, and someone’s name scribbled on a post-it note, and they just let me walk out with somebody’s grandma without asking my name or getting ID or anything.

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Pamela24
Community Member
1 month ago

This is super scary and definitely needs to change.

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#29

That just because something is patented doesn't make it any good. Stupid [crap] is patented every day.

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Anna Solan
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, but I think the point in bragging that something is patented is to say it is unique enough to recieve a patent.

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#30

As a freelance ghostwriter, most of my clients are Russian or Middle Eastern men who publish five to ten ghostwritten romance or erotica books a week under female pen names. They spend 10k a month and double or triple that by flooding the market. At one point one client told me he had six of the top ten Regency Romance spots on the paid best seller list.

Thunder-Matts Report

Miss Cris
Community Member
1 month ago

When reading them, we quickly know they're written by men! :D

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Note: this post originally had 88 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.