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A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic shure-shot, we’ve just the thing for you — a thorough list of the best one-liners on the Internet!

Another thing with these one line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. He always has a hilarious and laconic quip after disposing of his enemies and is well remembered for it! In fact, probably no other jokes, but funny one liners are forever at the top of the popularity Everest by being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately funny. 

Thus, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to present you with our choices of the best jokes that fall under this category; our hopes are pretty high to entertain you with this one! So now, it is precisely time that you scroll down below to check out the best one liners that we found! From punny ones to straight-up corny and from cute to sarcastic one liners, there’s a joke for absolutely anyone here. 

And after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! But, if such a sad instance occurs and you can’t find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section.

#1

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

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#3

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

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What are one-liner jokes?

Simply put, a one-liner is a very short joke that delivers its punchline in just one sentence. A good one-liner should always be concise and meaningful or, if you want a fancy word for it — pithy. Although these one line jokes are most often used as a part of a bigger performance, it doesn’t mean they don’t work as standalone quips. In fact, one might even argue that the shorter the joke — the more powerful the reaction! 

Funny one line jokes can also be used as a punchline of a real or fictional character, just the same as a catchphrase would. Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways.

#4

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

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#5

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

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Catarina
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha some people i know Will use this every day🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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What is the best one-liner?

Now, this is where it gets a bit biased! Each and every one of us have slightly different sense of humor and taste for our jokes, so nominating just one one-liner as the best is a tough job to say the least. However, since you, our dear readers always have an excellent taste for jokes, this one here seems to have reached number one position on our list: 

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

So, can we agree that we found the funniest one-liner ever? Well, at least one of the best jokes, for sure!

#7

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

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#9

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

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micheldurinx avatar
Marcellus II
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You want to know the difference between a sadist and a masochist? I could tell you, but you'll have to beat the answer out of me.

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How To Write One-Liners?

If you want to try your hand at writing one-liners, kudos to you! Homebred jokes are always the funniest and the most relevant. That said, writing one-liners comes with its own set of rules, albeit a short one: 

  • Set your joke up for success by making it super short;
  • Start with a setup that seems like it’s going to one direction only;
  • Give it a plot twist right at the end!

By following these simple one-liner writing rules, you'll be bound for success; we’re pretty certain of it. However, if you need a bit more inspiration and a little more examples of the best one-liners, keep reading our list!

#11

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

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#12

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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#13

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

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#14

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.

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#15

Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.

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#16

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

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#17

The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.

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#18

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

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#19

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

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#20

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time Is your bottom jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouth?

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#22

What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

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#23

So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.

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#24

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

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adelexie avatar
Adele Xie
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA pleez am i the only one laughing here?

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#25

A blind man walked into a bar… And a table… And a chair…

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Shelby P
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two nuns walked into a bar... third one ducked... didn't want it to become a habit.

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#26

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

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#27

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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#28

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

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#29

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

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#30

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

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#31

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

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#33

I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to procrastinate yesterday, but decided to do it tomorrow.

#34

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.

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#35

Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’

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#37

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

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#38

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.

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#39

A perfectionist walked into a bar... Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.

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#40

40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time "The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."

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Note: this post originally had 131 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.