The creative prowess of a writer, or a jokester, in this case, shines through the most when concentrated in the least possible words. Be that as it may, if you want to read a joke, it is not a novel you are looking for but rather a quick comedic relief. And, to use as few words as possible and still be cheek-splittingly hilarious is both a talent and a calling, combined with years of writing practice (or just pure luck). So, yes, indeed, we just had to gather those itty bitty whimsies, put them all in one list, and present you with what is known as the best one-liner jokes known to humankind. And it is going to be good!

A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is, if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Another thing with these one-line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. He always has a hilarious and laconic quip after disposing of his enemies. In fact, probably no other joke but the one-liner is forever at the top of the popularity Everest, being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately, funny. Thus, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to present you with our choices of the best jokes that fall under this category; our hopes are pretty high to entertain you with this one!

So now, it is precisely time that you scroll on down below to check out the clever jokes that we’ve found! From punny ones to funny, and, of course, straight up corny, there’s a joke for absolutely anyone here. And, after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn’t find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section.

#1

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

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#2

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

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#3

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

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#4

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

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James
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hearing problems run in my family; on my mother's side. Both my father and my step-father were deaf on my mother's side.

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#5

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

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Catarina
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha some people i know Will use this every day🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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#6

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.

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#7

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

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#8

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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#9

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

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Marcellus II
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You want to know the difference between a sadist and a masochist? I could tell you, but you'll have to beat the answer out of me.

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#10

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

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#11

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

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Matthew O'Steen
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the perfect excuse to hate yourself.

#12

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

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#13

Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.

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#14

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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#15

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.

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Eagle Girl
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave a trail of candy to the nice old lady with the house in the woods

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#16

The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.

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#17

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

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Catarina
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brilliant use of literally🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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#18

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

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#19

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

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Olga Dremina
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop screaming and answer, did you catch it or not!

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#20

The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

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#21

What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

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Russ Kincade
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When marriage becomes illegal, only outlaws will have inlaws!

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#22

Is your bottom jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouth?

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#23

So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.

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#24

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

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Adele Xie
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA pleez am i the only one laughing here?

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#25

A blind man walked into a bar… And a table… And a chair…

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Shelby P
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two nuns walked into a bar... third one ducked... didn't want it to become a habit.

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#26

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

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Kayjee
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't mean I won't hurt you eventually

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#27

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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#28

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

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#29

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

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#30

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

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#31

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.

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Whitey Black
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells.

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#32

I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was going to procrastinate yesterday, but decided to do it tomorrow.

#33

"You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace."

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#34

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

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#35

Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’

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Olga Dremina
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Mutely" was my father's favourite response. Fits perfectly imo.

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#36

Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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#37

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.

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#38

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

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#39

A perfectionist walked into a bar... Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.

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Matthew O'Steen
Community Member
11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In his opinion, that is. The bar was just right for others.

#40

"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."

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Note: this post originally had 131 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.