You’d think that more people would have respect for their partners when they’re giving birth. Unfortunately, the miracle of birth isn’t always the perfect and magical moment that you imagined it would be. Frankly, all it takes is a single phrase to turn a beautiful experience into something confusing when your partner starts criticizing you or even shows that they don’t much care about the entire miracle.

A labor and delivery nurse, who goes by Hollyd_rn online, poked fun at the inappropriate, misogynistic, and downright bizarrely unsupportive things that new fathers have said in the delivery room as the loves of their lives were going into labor. In a series of TikToks, Holly turned the quotes into ironic inspirational quotes that have captured the internet’s attention and are a great example of how not to behave when a brand new person is being born into the world.

Bored Panda had a quick chat with a relationship coach about how some of the behaviors that Holly criticized can do more harm than just hurting our feelings and sense of trust. Meanwhile, I also had an in-depth chat with nurse Holly about her videos. She told Bored Panda that she hopes her TikTok videos help bring positive attention to the unknown side behind the labor and delivery doors. She also pointed out that, in her experience, roughly 1 in 10 dads are unsupportive. Check out both interviews below.

More info: TikTok | Instagram

@hollyd_rnPart 1: Some partners are hard to live up to! Get you a good one #laboranddelivery #labor
♬ A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
#1

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Hilary Mol
Community Member
2 months ago

Nope. When the baby's coming out of you, then we can talk.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#2

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Dynein
Community Member
2 months ago

You know what? You won't have to do the work of castrating yourself, either, plenty of people will be happy to do that for you!

View More Replies...
View more comments

"I feel that this commonality can change based on demographics, but on average I would say that approximately 1 in 10 are unsupportive and/or insensitive dads. There tend to be a lot more dads that don’t know how to support their significant others in labor, but I wouldn’t say those dads are insensitive, they just need guidance," Holly told Bored Panda. "So as a nurse in Labor and Delivery (L&D) we do a lot of coaching and educating the support person to help their significant others through labor."

According to Holly, dads and anyone else in a supporting role in the labor room are significant. "Their place and presence in the labor/delivery room is noticeable and can be iconic for your laboring wife or significant other. It’s okay to not know what to do, but being mentally and emotionally present is essential," the nurse advised future dads.

#3

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Celeste Grant
Community Member
2 months ago

That's often referred to as the husband stitch... which is just horrific. Imagine the tightness of your partners vagina being your primary concern after she has just birthed your child! I saw a great response to this recently when the female dr responded "and exactly how small do you need it sir"

Charlotte
Community Member
2 months ago

Haha, that's the best response!

Load More Replies...
COCO puff
Community Member
2 months ago

OMG, what an awful man.

Adoni
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I basically make about $6,000-$8,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 10-13 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… ===))>𝐰­𝐰­𝐰­.­𝐟­­𝐨­𝐱­𝐥­𝐢­𝐧­𝐞­𝐛­𝐥­𝐨­𝐠­­.­­𝐂­𝐨­𝐦

Load More Replies...
denzoren
Community Member
2 months ago

This isn't right...he just let down all the males on the planet...well at least the ones who doesn't say or think things like this.

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 months ago

And worst of all, he's let down himself.

Load More Replies...
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 months ago

This is a thing, sometimes it's called "the lovestich" and most of the times it's done without the woman's consent. People tell horror stories about it, it's not uncommon.

Sally Horrocks
Community Member
2 months ago

In the UK it's counted as FGM (female genital mutilation) and is very much a no-no.

Load More Replies...
Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 months ago

That person deserves to get Lorena Bobbitted.

Toea Muresan Iulia
Community Member
2 months ago

these quotes make me become a serial killer

Paul Beebe
Community Member
2 months ago

My ex-wife's husband- He's caucasian, she's Filapina, sent her to the Philippines to 'fix her vajayjay" because she wasn't as tight as before...WTF? Only a guy with a small d**k would do this...

Renske de Jonge
Community Member
2 months ago

He may have a small d**k, but he is a big d**k.

Load More Replies...
MagNat
Community Member
2 months ago

"It doesn't matter how it's going to look down there, you're never getting access there again anyway"

Jody Foote
Community Member
2 months ago

I had the doctor who delivered my first baby wink say this to my husband as he was sewing the episiotomy he gave me that wasn't needed. My reaction was one more reason the nursing staff (all women) in l/d thought I was a bitch (a friend who was friends with one of the nurses on rotation that day got an earful not realizing until the end that I was the one being talked about).

Lila Launehase
Community Member
2 months ago

Sometimes these threads make me realize again, what a wonderful husband I have. These stories are so horrible...

juztme
Community Member
2 months ago

Does it even work like that??? If the part has no wound does stitching then helps??

Something
Community Member
2 months ago

The extra stitching doesn't have any medical benefit whatsoever and can lead to tearing later on.

Load More Replies...
Moodles
Community Member
2 months ago

As someone who cried while having excruciatingly painful stitches 2 hours after an extremely traumatic first birth, I would have kicked him in the face if I'm honest. And as for the comment "...before all of this"! What? Before someone has carried YOUR baby for 9 months and gone through the pain of childbirth to give you the most precious thing in the world (a child), you mean? Selfish, selfish b@st@rd. hope he's now single...

Eric Lafleur
Community Member
2 months ago

Only men with small weinners would need this.

Tracy Wallick
Community Member
2 months ago

Why this isn't considered genital mutilation is beyond me

Sheena Leversedge Wood
Community Member
3 days ago

well, if they knew anything, they'd know that arousal makes a vagina looser, so if she's tight, you're not turning her on enough.

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 months ago

And while you're at it? Could you add a few more inches to my d**k?

Jody Foote
Community Member
2 months ago

I had the doctor at the delivery of my first child say this to my husband and wink at him while he was sewing up the unneeded episiotomy he gave me.

Cheyenne
Community Member
2 months ago

An extra stitch should accommodate his three inches nicely.

Elsker
Community Member
2 months ago

"We"?! Yeah right

Sandra
Community Member
2 months ago

We are the ones giving birth and getting the pain, yet he îs the asshole who wants to feel big again.

Gina Ragone
Community Member
3 days ago

Counterpoint: these guys revealed themselves to be be loathsome jerks long before their partners got pregnant.

Cass Johnson
Community Member
3 days ago

My DOCTOR SAID THIS TO MY HUSBAND!

Debbie Burton
Community Member
3 days ago

I have heard that Drs just did it for the husbands anyway

Lisa Chambers
Community Member
2 months ago

Maybe it is he that is too small.

Bonnie Davis
Community Member
2 months ago

S**t...I begged the doctor to see me completely closed so I can't have another baby!!! Right after I gave birth. Then when the hormones kicked in I said that I'd have another baby if I met the right man!!! 😂😂

Brie Sansotta
Community Member
2 months ago

Maybe add another stitch to husband's mouth

Tara B.
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh. My. God. Castrate him now. She already got the best of him with the baby, he can gtfo. ><

Christine M Quigley
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh, yeah- I remember my ex making that same remark with my first baby- 'put an extra couple of stitches in there for me'. Jerk.

Judy Watson
Community Member
2 months ago

asshole!

Morgan
Community Member
2 months ago

Mother flickers!

Diana Hockley
Community Member
2 months ago

This was a comment my first husband made, laughing, as he said it. He wasn't there for any of the three births because husbands didn't attend deliveries in those days.

Jane W.
Community Member
2 months ago

There are probably a lot more men who THINK this without voicing it.

Amanda Hunter
Community Member
2 months ago

How small does he need it.

Mel Schmidt
Community Member
2 months ago

I guess you really find out the realness of the guy after this.

Osprey
Community Member
2 months ago

Just how small do we have to make for you? Pencil neck?

Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
2 months ago

Literally never heard of this before. Now I wish I still hadn't.

Znaya
Community Member
2 months ago

Some men think these comments are funny but when you speak about them and their masculinity they revert to the fetal position 😠

Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 months ago

AND the part that tears isnt even related to vaginal tightness

Aleksei
Community Member
2 months ago

I don't get it

Josephina Minutolo
Community Member
2 months ago

wow..

Christa Cope
Community Member
2 months ago

My looser ex actually asked for this.

backatya
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah get that sucker nice and tight

Aubrey Oleandereie
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Well me and my husband were joking about it while I was sewn. The doc said there actually is final stich that is more gentle and is used for this purpose. I mean. I don't find it rude and the size after third kid is kind of concern of mine. 🤷‍♀️ I am sorry, this one doesn't offend me.

Jrizzy Jay
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Women request them far more than the one example of a man requesting it.

Neil Bidle
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you want it "just the way it was before" then there's no need for an "extra" stitch, just a repair.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#4

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Marianne
Community Member
2 months ago

Nice way to learn that your MIL doesn't believe in your fidelity...

View More Replies...
View more comments

"Labor is no easy task, and it comes in all variations. Talk with your partner about their expectations and desires during labor, be adaptable as things progress, and be mentally and emotionally supportive of them. I guarantee your experience in the labor room will be unforgettable and you will develop more appreciation for your significant other during labor."

Holly also shared a bit about her journey into the realm of video content creation. She started making TikToks quite recent, back in February 2021, and her very first video was meant as a joke about L&D situations that she sent to her mom, who's also a nurse. "That video ended up going viral on TikTok and I soon realized that I could create a platform regarding my passion toward Labor and Delivery," she said.

#5

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 months ago

I think no jury in the world would convict you if you'd castrated him on the spot.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#6

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 months ago

I was exhausted when our first was born because my wife had been in labour for over 24 hours, so neither of us had slept in over a day. I can only imagine how tired she was. However, when they said the baby was coming, I've never felt more awake than I did at that time, no chance I could've taken a nap.

View More Replies...
View more comments

"I fell in love with L&D when I had my first child, and I knew this was where I needed to be. I am inspired daily when I work with my patients as to just how incredibly strong women are. I love being able to support women during this time by encouraging, laughing, praying, and even crying with them and still being able to guide them through a moment in their life they will never forget."

Holly’s video series proved that no matter how wonderful the occasion, there can always be someone who tries to ruin the magic. It also goes to show that, unfortunately, just because you’re becoming a dad doesn’t automatically turn you into a supportive husband, a loving partner, or a good person. These positive qualities are something that you build over years; they’re not handed to you the moment your partner goes into labor.

#7

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 months ago

Don't bother.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#8

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

COCO puff
Community Member
2 months ago

Universal health care is awesome, and nobody should make a health decision based on how money it will cost.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Relationship coach Alex Scot told me that certain behaviors can have an actual negative physical effect, something that’s actually backed up by science. “Contemptuous interactions affect people physically, often resulting in increased cases of illnesses like colds and the flu,” Alex said that when partners express contempt for each other, they’re harming each other not just emotionally and psychologically but also physically.

The awareness that problems exist and the commitment to change are what help heal a relationship. Alex told Bored Panda that if both partners are aware of the negative (and sometimes toxic) behaviors that they express and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to embrace change, then the relationship can be salvaged. Instead of ending, it can then thrive.

#9

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Chich
Community Member
2 months ago

I worked with a guy who went on a fishing trip with his buddies instead of staying around for his first born because "we've been planning it for so long". Single now.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#10

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Marianne
Community Member
2 months ago

He will have a newborn child this weekend. I would very much like to know what plans might be more important.

View More Replies...
View more comments

“However, if your partner is unwilling to admit their faults, and is not interested in growing together as a couple, then ask yourself if you’re willing to stay in that relationship long term,” Alex explained that there are some very difficult questions that you must ask yourself if your partner is constantly unsupportive and critical of everything that you do. Unfortunately, turning their toxicity into inspirational quotes won’t do much good, even if it helps bring attention to what not to do in the delivery room.

#11

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Mihran Hovnanian
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm going to remain in hope that the good dads will outnumber these bozos... let's keep on educating & inspiring for good.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

Nurse-Shares-Inappropriate-Comments-Dads-Say-Delivery-Room

hollyd_rn Report

Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah, maybe you should go and wait somewhere else, like inside an active volcano or on the dark side of the moon.

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda