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You’d think that more people would have respect for their partners when they’re giving birth. Unfortunately, the miracle of birth isn’t always the perfect and magical moment that you imagined it would be. Frankly, all it takes is a single phrase to turn a beautiful experience into something confusing when your partner starts criticizing you or even shows that they don’t much care about the entire miracle.

A labor and delivery nurse, who goes by Hollyd_rn online, poked fun at the inappropriate, misogynistic, and downright bizarrely unsupportive things that new fathers have said in the delivery room as the loves of their lives were going into labor. In a series of TikToks, Holly turned the quotes into ironic inspirational quotes that have captured the internet’s attention and are a great example of how not to behave when a brand new person is being born into the world.

Bored Panda had a quick chat with a relationship coach about how some of the behaviors that Holly criticized can do more harm than just hurting our feelings and sense of trust. Meanwhile, I also had an in-depth chat with nurse Holly about her videos. She told Bored Panda that she hopes her TikTok videos help bring positive attention to the unknown side behind the labor and delivery doors. She also pointed out that, in her experience, roughly 1 in 10 dads are unsupportive. Check out both interviews below.

More info: TikTok | Instagram

@hollyd_rnPart 1: Some partners are hard to live up to! Get you a good one #laboranddelivery #labor
♬ A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
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Dynein
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know what? You won't have to do the work of castrating yourself, either, plenty of people will be happy to do that for you!

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"I feel that this commonality can change based on demographics, but on average I would say that approximately 1 in 10 are unsupportive and/or insensitive dads. There tend to be a lot more dads that don’t know how to support their significant others in labor, but I wouldn’t say those dads are insensitive, they just need guidance," Holly told Bored Panda. "So as a nurse in Labor and Delivery (L&D) we do a lot of coaching and educating the support person to help their significant others through labor."

According to Holly, dads and anyone else in a supporting role in the labor room are significant. "Their place and presence in the labor/delivery room is noticeable and can be iconic for your laboring wife or significant other. It’s okay to not know what to do, but being mentally and emotionally present is essential," the nurse advised future dads.

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Celeste Grant
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's often referred to as the husband stitch... which is just horrific. Imagine the tightness of your partners vagina being your primary concern after she has just birthed your child! I saw a great response to this recently when the female dr responded "and exactly how small do you need it sir"

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Marianne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice way to learn that your MIL doesn't believe in your fidelity...

ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your husband just said your mother in law thinks you are a s**t, madam. Should I anesthetize him too?"

vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think to operate him without anesthesia but maybe it would considered too cruel...

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vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me your husband is a mama's boy without telling me he is a mama's boy!

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yellowphantom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that is when mom knows to give the child HER last name on the birth certificate. Whatever the DNA test says....

master_minds9 avatar
denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh wow....this relationship is not going to turn out well.

zanoni608 avatar
Patti Vance
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

of course....just let her hold your testicles while she is contracting. the skin under her nails should be enough for a sample

adriennedoyle avatar
Adrienne Doyle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a male birth chair where a string is tied around the testicles, and the woman giving birth is given the string to pull as hard as she wants.

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Sherry Younkins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had something similar to this happen to me. While in the delivery room, the baby's head was crowning and the daddy to be said, "It's not mine, it has black hair!" Everyone in the room looked at him and screamed, "it's wet!" Oye!

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And maybe your mom can give your balls back to you in the process, geez.

vickyavrules avatar
Alonso Victoria
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

C´mon do it, when you know is yours i can shove it in your moms face!!!!!

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Barry Fonseca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's interesting. His father ask the same question when he was born.

pikachu_zero avatar
Chiva Rocha
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could have picked a better time to ask but If they arent married he can't be put down as a father without proving paternity and therefore has no rights.

temeriti avatar
Tara B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wowwwww. Couldn’t have discussed that privately, asshat?

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Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a comletely valid question, but a little misplaced in that arena. The mother should be asking, and she should be asking at reception.

oht_89 avatar
Olof T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There might be a good reason though. If she had been cheating she's lucky he is even there. We don't know the full context.

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MyCatsTheRealPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the timing that's the issue here. Not to mention that his mother is the one who obviously decided this for him, if he feels the need for a DNA test,that's fine if he has legitimate reason but place and time buddy, place and time!

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Leah Helbig
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2 years ago

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They probably weren't married and maybe they weren't even in a monogamous relationship. And if a woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy because she doesnt want responsibilities then a guy should have the right to know if the kid is his or not.

samanthar_1 avatar
Artist FKA Ramsey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, but I'm pretty sure the time for that is not in the middle of the mother giving birth.

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"Labor is no easy task, and it comes in all variations. Talk with your partner about their expectations and desires during labor, be adaptable as things progress, and be mentally and emotionally supportive of them. I guarantee your experience in the labor room will be unforgettable and you will develop more appreciation for your significant other during labor."

Holly also shared a bit about her journey into the realm of video content creation. She started making TikToks quite recent, back in February 2021, and her very first video was meant as a joke about L&D situations that she sent to her mom, who's also a nurse. "That video ended up going viral on TikTok and I soon realized that I could create a platform regarding my passion toward Labor and Delivery," she said.

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Nadine Bamberger
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think no jury in the world would convict you if you'd castrated him on the spot.

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Bobert Robertson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was exhausted when our first was born because my wife had been in labour for over 24 hours, so neither of us had slept in over a day. I can only imagine how tired she was. However, when they said the baby was coming, I've never felt more awake than I did at that time, no chance I could've taken a nap.

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"I fell in love with L&D when I had my first child, and I knew this was where I needed to be. I am inspired daily when I work with my patients as to just how incredibly strong women are. I love being able to support women during this time by encouraging, laughing, praying, and even crying with them and still being able to guide them through a moment in their life they will never forget."

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Holly’s video series proved that no matter how wonderful the occasion, there can always be someone who tries to ruin the magic. It also goes to show that, unfortunately, just because you’re becoming a dad doesn’t automatically turn you into a supportive husband, a loving partner, or a good person. These positive qualities are something that you build over years; they’re not handed to you the moment your partner goes into labor.

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COCO puff
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Universal health care is awesome, and nobody should make a health decision based on how money it will cost.

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Relationship coach Alex Scot told me that certain behaviors can have an actual negative physical effect, something that’s actually backed up by science. “Contemptuous interactions affect people physically, often resulting in increased cases of illnesses like colds and the flu,” Alex said that when partners express contempt for each other, they’re harming each other not just emotionally and psychologically but also physically.

The awareness that problems exist and the commitment to change are what help heal a relationship. Alex told Bored Panda that if both partners are aware of the negative (and sometimes toxic) behaviors that they express and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to embrace change, then the relationship can be salvaged. Instead of ending, it can then thrive.

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Chich
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked with a guy who went on a fishing trip with his buddies instead of staying around for his first born because "we've been planning it for so long". Single now.

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Marianne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He will have a newborn child this weekend. I would very much like to know what plans might be more important.

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“However, if your partner is unwilling to admit their faults, and is not interested in growing together as a couple, then ask yourself if you’re willing to stay in that relationship long term,” Alex explained that there are some very difficult questions that you must ask yourself if your partner is constantly unsupportive and critical of everything that you do. Unfortunately, turning their toxicity into inspirational quotes won’t do much good, even if it helps bring attention to what not to do in the delivery room.

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Mihran Hovnanian
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to remain in hope that the good dads will outnumber these bozos... let's keep on educating & inspiring for good.

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, maybe you should go and wait somewhere else, like inside an active volcano or on the dark side of the moon.

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