Man Gets Mad After Missing A Family Trip Because He Wasn’t Woken Up In Time, Hears The Harsh Truth About Failing To Help The Family
It seems that when it comes to getting up in the morning, there are two types of people: those who can easily wake up early just to watch how the whole world is slowly waking up, and those who would skip the extensive morning routine in exchange for a few extra minutes in bed. To each their own, one might think, but what happens when someone’s morning choices affect their whole family? A 26-year-old Reddit user under the name @Waste-Independent-21 shared how her significant other, with whom she raises 5 kids, decides to sleep in while she gets up early just to get herself and the kids ready for the day. Because of this exact reason, she decided to open up about her family situation to the Reddit community and ask them for advice after deciding to teach her partner a lesson.
More Info: Reddit
Despite our desire to spend at least one extra minute in bed, a lot of us are dragged out of there by fear of missing out on important things
Image credits: Celeste Lindell (not the actual image)
The woman started her story by revealing some of the details about her family: the woman and her 28-year-old partner are raising their 5 kids, the oldest being 7 years old and the youngest – 5 months. Having in mind how much time and effort it takes to take care of such a young bunch, the woman believes that her partner should also help with the kids as much as possible. That is especially important in the mornings when she needs to get ready herself and prepare the kids for the day. However, her significant other turned out to be of a different opinion. When the woman shared her concerns about helping with the kids, the man said that he should be able to sleep longer on his days off. The mother of 5 even confessed that this issue has been talked about during their therapy sessions and added that they all agreed that the man should be helping out more.
A woman online decided to share how she’s been annoyed with her partner for waking up late and missing out on helping out with the kids
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
One time, she found a way to teach her partner a lesson and once again stress an ongoing problem in their family of him not helping out in the morning
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
Even though it might seem that the family had talked through this and found a way out, his later actions showed that nothing had changed. Until one morning, the woman took an opportunity to teach her significant other a lesson. The family had been planning a trip to the zoo with both her and his parents, siblings, and their kids. The night before, the woman reminded him of the upcoming outing and that he needed to wake up as early as she would to get ready for the trip. They both agreed to wake up at 6:30 AM; however, the man once again failed to get up together with his wife. This time, the woman didn’t bother to try and wake him up, so she just left him sleeping, got ready together with the kids, and left. Once she arrived at the place, the relatives asked her where her partner was, to which she replied that he was not coming because of not being able to get out of bed on time.
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
After the man once again failed to get up in time and missed a trip to the zoo, the whole situation caused a serious argument between the extended family
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
A little later, the woman received a call from her partner who was surprised that they weren’t at home and later got mad after finding out that they all left without him. He then called his own mother and told her how he was left in the morning. This is when the argument between the man’s mother and the OP’s family began. After this, the woman wasn’t sure if she really did the right thing by not even trying to wake her significant other up.
After a while, the OP started wondering whether she did the right thing by leaving her partner at home and not waking him up
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
It is safe to say that a lot of us sometimes struggle with waking up in the morning as there are numerous reasons why we can’t just leave the bed. Very often we might think that we just have a messed-up sleeping schedule, we drink too much coffee in the evening, or that this is the consequence that we face after spending too much time looking at our phones and laptops. But this issue could also indicate that we have some deeper problems that are related to our physical and mental well-being.
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
Bored Panda contacted Dr. Matthew Edlund, who is the director of the Center for Circadian Medicine and well-known rest and sleep specialist. He is also the author of the books “The Body Clock Advantage,” “Designed to Last,” and “Psychological Time and Mental Illness.” By specializing in Regeneration Health, Dr. Edlund agreed that our sleeping patterns can say a lot about our mental and physical well-being: “Sleep is a third of life. It is deeply related to all our physical and mental being. Sleep is like food. Without it, any animal dies.”
Image credits: anjanettew (not the actual image)
The woman came back and shared an update that followed after the whole situation took place
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
Usually, there are a lot of various symptoms that are trying to tell us that something might be wrong with our bodies. But how often do we take into consideration the quality of our sleep? “There are innumerable reasons for increased sleepiness. There can be new sleep apnea, drug effects, inadequate sleep time on many nights, or commonly new leg kicks that wake people dozens or hundreds of times at night. Those will look asleep but not feel rested; most of us don’t remember waking if it’s less than several minutes. And depression is also a very common cause of hypersomnia,” shared the specialist.
How can people distinguish between not being a “morning person” and actually having some sort of condition? The doctor explained: “Morningness in people is genetic. They know they want to get up at 5 or 6 AM, as opposed to owls who would prefer to go to bed long after midnight. If your sleep pattern changes – you used to wake up at 7 no problem, and now can’t wake until 10 – check it out.”
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
After the woman shared her story online, the update on the whole situation followed, revealing a more serious situation but a pretty happy ending to it. After the whole family trip fiasco, the couple had a talk about where this lacking of help comes from. The man was quick to pull it together and start being there for his kids as well as seek professional help and make some pretty drastic changes in his life.
After some talking, the man shared what was on his mind and revealed how his attitude towards helping his family out changed because of his own mother
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
Image credits: Bev Sykes (not the actual image)
According to the OP’s partner, the habit of putting a load of housework on his wife started when the family moved in with his parents for a bit. His mom apparently played an important role in him believing that the woman is the one who should take care of him. Soon, the man got stuck dreading everyday life where his job “wasn’t stimulating enough” and his family couldn’t figure out what was wrong. But the woman shared that they did what needed to be done, meaning that her partner decided to stop communicating with his toxic mother, left his job to find a better one, and, most importantly, started spending more time with his family.
This story is a great example of how important communication between family members is and how a simple-looking issue might hide a more complex problem. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
Eventually, the family issues were resolved by them following other people’s advice and seeking professional and family help
Image credits: u/Waste-Independent-21
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Wow! The husband ended up getting help for his depression, a better job, and much needed distance from his mother. The wife got a more equal relationship, and the kids got more quality time with Dad. Hats off to this guy for recognizing there was a problem and making some much-needed changes. It's lovely to see the Internet being a force for good!
This is what happens when we recognize signs of depression :) I used to tiptoe around my mother's erratic behavior and wrote it off as "quirky". Turns out she had bipolar disorder and ended up getting the help she needed :)
Same thing with my mum! Growing up tip toeing around her scared me for life, but now that she's better we have a great relationship
Load More Replies...
I was going to say something mean about the lazy husband who ran crying to his mother but then it all turned around! It's really nice to see one of these stories have a happy ending. :D
yeah, i feel SO bad for the older kids in big families... always asked to help babysit once they're old enough, friends never want to go to their place because younger siblings always interfere, no privacy once they're teenagers because younger kids still wanna hang out & the house isn't that big... yikes 😬
Load More Replies... I'm so happy to see how this turned out. I have a 5yo, 3yo and a 3mo baby. My husband always gets up with the kids as he knows I'm up several times during the night with the baby. It's not just fair, but helps my mental health to deal with the kids during the day while he's at work.
This sort of stuff is why we shouldn't judge too quickly. Honestly this is f*****g heartwarming.
Honestly I applaud this. If you’ve been told your problems are fixable by you but you can’t be bothered to do anything about them then you deserve the consequences. This can be the thing that finally encourages you to get help in sorting the issue.
I did not expect this ending! Usually the wife gets fed up with the lazy dad who refuses to change and leaves him.
1. Not being able to wake up early every morning is not lazyness. The guy had a job, he worked full time, had to support a family with 5 kids, one could say the man was sick and tired of it all. 2. there are good things in life and then there's "too much of a good thing". I understand wanting to have a family but, if you already have 3 kids at 23, you should probably stop. Humans are not on the brink of extinction and 99.999% are actually too stupid (or at least mediocre) to be worth passing on their hereditary traits 5 TIMES OVER! Anthropologically, children are the continuation of life. In reality, for the parents, they are the end of it. And if the parents aren't aware of that by kid no. 3, they deserve what's coming...
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It's possible, but when my husband was first diagnosed with sleep apnoea, no amount of sleep would help with the exhaustion... Sounds like OP's partner got better with "just" a change of circumstances and some meds, none of which would bring relief from sleep apnoea, would they?
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I saw this story elsewhere without the update. I'm glad he got to read the reddit thread and sought help for himself.
Well this is refreshing! I didnt realise how sick i was of assholes
That's too many kids if he is not willing to take responsibility. I always wonder how women agree on this. And justification he has changed he was different before is lie, there are pointers always she was willing to ignore.
People go through depressive stages. In between my parents passing away and me stepping down from my job I was miserable. My relationship was suffering, my kids were suffering. If it were t for my husband being so untuned with me I could have spiraled out of control. With therapy and medication and a new job I ended up back to my old self.
Load More Replies...
It takes a special person to able to look at their own behavior and realize a change is needed. Most times people are just so stuck in the mindset that there is nothing wrong with how they act, it’s always the other person who has the problem. Or they surround themselves with “yes men” that will agree with their bad behavior no matter what.
Change may be painful, but you still need to see it through. Good job working together to recognize the problems and toxic relationships and getting eod of them. I found out that, when a "friend or family member is manipulative with you, when you stop, and recognize what is going on, and they can no longer manipulate you, they dump you. Which ends up being a good thing for you!!
Guess by not being woken up, he finally got a wake up call. I'm happy for his girls and his wife he recognized his problems and changed.
Aww a happy ending for once. Glad everything worked out for OP and her family.
I'm so glad the husband read the comments and got the help he needed, along with a better job which allows him more time with his family. Cutting off contact with his toxic mother is definitely the right thing to do. I'm so happy things are working out so well for this family.
Never commented before! But this is a wonderful read. Well done to you all for getting to the root and supporting and loving each other back to health. Life is complicated, it’s not black and white.
I love this one. We get a follow up where the (former) AH realized they messed up and actually worked on making themselves better.
What an amazing outcome! These AITA stories don't usually end up this way. Refreshing!
Yes a wife should help her husband, but the husband is supposed to help his wife. Both are supposed to take care of the kids.
Parenting 101 is to let the natural consequences do the teaching. Child won't wake up to get ready for school on time with breakfast eaten? Time to be outside to get on the bus? Send them in their PJs and a pop tart. No child ever died being in their jammies at school. Techniques work on adults too. (spouses/co-workers/neighbors) Wife isn't ready and cause you to be late? Let her drive herself to the event. She will be the next time. If you keep letting the bad behavior go, it will continue. You don't allow the poor behavior to be normalized, the offending act is changed.
I am so impressed that your husband, and you, were willing to listen and action the advice. Well done guys!!!
Anyone else get hung up on the dangling modifier in "He had a vasectomy after baby #4, which was incomplete..."?
After reading about what happened at the zoo (about halfway through the article) I KNEW his mother was a large part of the problem. Interesting to see my instincts were correct.
It's great he saw the error of his ways and got help for his mental health issues, hopefully things will continue to get better for the family.
I’m glad this had a happy ending! :D It’s refreshing compared to the other more negative AITA posts.
Omg...all kinds of teary rn! Praise God you got a happy ending!!! So happy for y'all
I could only read the first part of it cuz it sounds like the wife wants to play the victim. But the way I see it is if the dad was the only one working and the mom stayed home with the kids. The dad should be able to sleep in. And this is coming from a stay-at-home dad my wife sleeping on her days off I take care of the kids I get breaks from them little things when they're in school it's not overwhelming I don't know why people say raising kids is overwhelming it is simple use common sense you won't have a problem. I couldn't take this post serious after the first little section.
Glad everything is working out, I think five kids is enough you might want to consider birth control.
The post said that he had a vasectomy after kid 4, but it was incomplete. She then got a hysterectomy.
Load More Replies... Did you not read the full article??? I'm assuming not.
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Did you notice the bit about what was essentially gaslighting ? Hard yikes.
Load More Replies...
What are you talking about? He refuses to get out of bed, like a little kid. How is that her manipulating or punishing him? You must have replied under the wrong post or something.
Load More Replies...
Wow! The husband ended up getting help for his depression, a better job, and much needed distance from his mother. The wife got a more equal relationship, and the kids got more quality time with Dad. Hats off to this guy for recognizing there was a problem and making some much-needed changes. It's lovely to see the Internet being a force for good!
This is what happens when we recognize signs of depression :) I used to tiptoe around my mother's erratic behavior and wrote it off as "quirky". Turns out she had bipolar disorder and ended up getting the help she needed :)
Same thing with my mum! Growing up tip toeing around her scared me for life, but now that she's better we have a great relationship
Load More Replies... I was going to say something mean about the lazy husband who ran crying to his mother but then it all turned around! It's really nice to see one of these stories have a happy ending. :D
yeah, i feel SO bad for the older kids in big families... always asked to help babysit once they're old enough, friends never want to go to their place because younger siblings always interfere, no privacy once they're teenagers because younger kids still wanna hang out & the house isn't that big... yikes 😬
Load More Replies... I'm so happy to see how this turned out. I have a 5yo, 3yo and a 3mo baby. My husband always gets up with the kids as he knows I'm up several times during the night with the baby. It's not just fair, but helps my mental health to deal with the kids during the day while he's at work.
This sort of stuff is why we shouldn't judge too quickly. Honestly this is f*****g heartwarming.
Honestly I applaud this. If you’ve been told your problems are fixable by you but you can’t be bothered to do anything about them then you deserve the consequences. This can be the thing that finally encourages you to get help in sorting the issue.
I did not expect this ending! Usually the wife gets fed up with the lazy dad who refuses to change and leaves him.
1. Not being able to wake up early every morning is not lazyness. The guy had a job, he worked full time, had to support a family with 5 kids, one could say the man was sick and tired of it all. 2. there are good things in life and then there's "too much of a good thing". I understand wanting to have a family but, if you already have 3 kids at 23, you should probably stop. Humans are not on the brink of extinction and 99.999% are actually too stupid (or at least mediocre) to be worth passing on their hereditary traits 5 TIMES OVER! Anthropologically, children are the continuation of life. In reality, for the parents, they are the end of it. And if the parents aren't aware of that by kid no. 3, they deserve what's coming...
Load More Replies... It's possible, but when my husband was first diagnosed with sleep apnoea, no amount of sleep would help with the exhaustion... Sounds like OP's partner got better with "just" a change of circumstances and some meds, none of which would bring relief from sleep apnoea, would they?
Load More Replies... I saw this story elsewhere without the update. I'm glad he got to read the reddit thread and sought help for himself.
Well this is refreshing! I didnt realise how sick i was of assholes
That's too many kids if he is not willing to take responsibility. I always wonder how women agree on this. And justification he has changed he was different before is lie, there are pointers always she was willing to ignore.
People go through depressive stages. In between my parents passing away and me stepping down from my job I was miserable. My relationship was suffering, my kids were suffering. If it were t for my husband being so untuned with me I could have spiraled out of control. With therapy and medication and a new job I ended up back to my old self.
Load More Replies... It takes a special person to able to look at their own behavior and realize a change is needed. Most times people are just so stuck in the mindset that there is nothing wrong with how they act, it’s always the other person who has the problem. Or they surround themselves with “yes men” that will agree with their bad behavior no matter what.
Change may be painful, but you still need to see it through. Good job working together to recognize the problems and toxic relationships and getting eod of them. I found out that, when a "friend or family member is manipulative with you, when you stop, and recognize what is going on, and they can no longer manipulate you, they dump you. Which ends up being a good thing for you!!
Guess by not being woken up, he finally got a wake up call. I'm happy for his girls and his wife he recognized his problems and changed.
Aww a happy ending for once. Glad everything worked out for OP and her family.
I'm so glad the husband read the comments and got the help he needed, along with a better job which allows him more time with his family. Cutting off contact with his toxic mother is definitely the right thing to do. I'm so happy things are working out so well for this family.
Never commented before! But this is a wonderful read. Well done to you all for getting to the root and supporting and loving each other back to health. Life is complicated, it’s not black and white.
I love this one. We get a follow up where the (former) AH realized they messed up and actually worked on making themselves better.
What an amazing outcome! These AITA stories don't usually end up this way. Refreshing!
Yes a wife should help her husband, but the husband is supposed to help his wife. Both are supposed to take care of the kids.
Parenting 101 is to let the natural consequences do the teaching. Child won't wake up to get ready for school on time with breakfast eaten? Time to be outside to get on the bus? Send them in their PJs and a pop tart. No child ever died being in their jammies at school. Techniques work on adults too. (spouses/co-workers/neighbors) Wife isn't ready and cause you to be late? Let her drive herself to the event. She will be the next time. If you keep letting the bad behavior go, it will continue. You don't allow the poor behavior to be normalized, the offending act is changed.
I am so impressed that your husband, and you, were willing to listen and action the advice. Well done guys!!!
Anyone else get hung up on the dangling modifier in "He had a vasectomy after baby #4, which was incomplete..."?
After reading about what happened at the zoo (about halfway through the article) I KNEW his mother was a large part of the problem. Interesting to see my instincts were correct.
It's great he saw the error of his ways and got help for his mental health issues, hopefully things will continue to get better for the family.
I’m glad this had a happy ending! :D It’s refreshing compared to the other more negative AITA posts.
Omg...all kinds of teary rn! Praise God you got a happy ending!!! So happy for y'all
I could only read the first part of it cuz it sounds like the wife wants to play the victim. But the way I see it is if the dad was the only one working and the mom stayed home with the kids. The dad should be able to sleep in. And this is coming from a stay-at-home dad my wife sleeping on her days off I take care of the kids I get breaks from them little things when they're in school it's not overwhelming I don't know why people say raising kids is overwhelming it is simple use common sense you won't have a problem. I couldn't take this post serious after the first little section.
Glad everything is working out, I think five kids is enough you might want to consider birth control.
The post said that he had a vasectomy after kid 4, but it was incomplete. She then got a hysterectomy.
Load More Replies... Did you not read the full article??? I'm assuming not.
Load More Replies... Did you notice the bit about what was essentially gaslighting ? Hard yikes.
Load More Replies... What are you talking about? He refuses to get out of bed, like a little kid. How is that her manipulating or punishing him? You must have replied under the wrong post or something.
Load More Replies...
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