The number of babies born in the US in 2018 fell to the lowest level in 32 years, according to a 2019 report by the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics. The numbers indicate an ever-growing trend of more and more young people, especially millennials, opting for a childfree lifestyle.
Even though the joys of growing a child are undisputable, skipping parenthood may often seem an appealing decision to millennials who face college debts and enormous costs of living. Instead, many opt for the freedom of traveling, experiencing things, and cherishing their personal independence.
But in order to find out why exactly so many people make the decision of a childfree life, we have to look at what these people have to say themselves. So we rounded up some of the most illuminating tweets on the joys of life without kids that will surely give everyone a lot to think about.
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This needs to be at the top. I never even realized this before but this is so important.
To find out more about why some people opt not to have kids, Bored Panda reached out to Amy Blackstone, professor of sociology at the University of Maine and the author of “Childless by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family & Creating a New Age of Independence.”
Amy explained that people opt out of parenthood for both internal and external reasons. In terms of the internal, “research shows that common reasons include a desire for autonomy, an interest in spontaneity, and a preference to nurture relationships with partners and others in their life.”
Another interesting finding according to Amy is that childfree people cite concern about the environment, concern over the state of world affairs, and concern for the children who are already here. “Increasingly, I'm hearing from childfree people that environmental concerns top their list of reasons for opting out of parenthood,” she said.
When asked about the kinds of joys that childless life can bring, Amy confessed she was happy to hear the question.
Amy, who leads a happy childfree life herself, said that “One of the most common myths about childfree people is that we live sad, lonely lives. Nothing could be further from the truth.”
“People without children report that they enjoy nurturing the bonds they share with their partners and friends, that they feel fulfilled by having the time and resources to give back to their communities, and that they appreciate the freedom to pursue a wide variety of interests, passions, and hobbies.”
Not to mention infertility is a thing, trauma is a thing, mental and physical health issues that are passed down are a thing. There are so many reasons someone might be childless and it isn't your business
This is one of the many reasons why I am CF. I would have serious problems if my kids were sexist, racist, proud to be uneducated, bullies etc. I wouldn’t be a good mother to them.
Or you could just raise them to not be like that.
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Oh my god THANK YOU!!! Such a freaking relief to hear that. My parents will never understand that I am not them, I am not perfect, and I should be able to make my own decisions about my life.
I don't get why people want to raise mini versions of themselves. If I ever have kids I would hope that they have the best and most successful life possible. I would hope for them to be open minded and kind to others. Don't raise a mini you, because that is not what we need. You need to give your kids a chance to grow into their own selves so they can make a difference. I would hope that my kids could have a better life then me, because they are the future of our world. The world already had one of you. What the world needs is something brand new to change things for the better. (Sorry for writing so long)
the saddest thing is, most parents don't have a plan - they get children, because that's what you are 'supposed' to do. Do they have the competence to raise a human being? who cares, their parents did it, it can't be that hard! (yes. yes it can. not that the question would ever cross their minds in the first place)
My parents need to read and believe this. Especially fulfilling dreams, like perfect grades, scholarships to college, a good-paying job among other things.
Haha! One of my kids, I won't say which, asked me one day what I'd say if they told me they were gay. I said, "Well, it's a lot like being left handed. You're made that way, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's harder - we live in, for better or worse, a right handed world."
My parents did that and still try to. I started cutting them off when I realized what was going on but still have tons of stuff to get through because of them.
I had a boyfriend in high school whose father lived his life through his son, forced him to play football cause dad hadn't been good at it so wanted son to do it for him. Lots of similar examples. Needless to say, son wasn't happy.
people shouldn't ask when they are gonna have a kid because you don't know what they lost.
Well, you are not 100% right. You absolutely have to form your child's values, believes and ideologies, unless you want fascist idiot at home.
No, you literally cannot. Your child is an actual person who makes choices. If you do everything right, your child could still turn out to be a fascist idiot.
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If that's the case, how about we stop blaming parents for not raising their kids right? Do people not understand that the children we all talk about having their "own" personalities and preferences are largely influenced by social media? Whenever I ask a teen my age why they think the way they do they mostly reply with "oh I've seen this somewhere" or "oh this person said it and I agree".
But... if you are self-aware enough to consider these issues you actually do qualify for parenting.
This is why it drives me nuts when I see children at political protests. I don't care what the subject is, leave your goddamn kids out of it. Let them grow up and decide on their own.
So, what if you could take your kids to protests and still let them decide on them own... which they are going to do anyway?
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Well said. So often people have children for very selfish reasons which are all about them. It causes much unhappiness all around.
Nobody should have any sexuality wished or forced upon them, whether it be heterosexuality, homosexuality, or anything else. Never EVER let your own wants influence your child's identity. Just accept them for who & what they are.
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Yes... that's all we want. if we feel like having a kid, we'll borrow a nephew or niece for a week just to get it out of our system
I refer to my human kids as "skin babies" all the time. They think it's hilarious. They also call our cats their brothers and sister
children are EXPENSIVE, it's beyond me to think that people have more than one of them. AND you have to keep spending to care and nurture them until they are matured and ready for the world on their own. based on the culture you are raised from, that could range from 18y or until they have a stable job and/or married themselves.
and all the people in the restaurant also trying to have a nice meal.....
As a childless/free/whatever woman who used to work 60-hour weeks until the pandemic hit, I’m gonna vote no.
Plus when you realize nobody is actively destroying your house, you don't have to waste time/money on food they won't eat, & that you can own even mildly delicate things without fear.
Or working retail and seeing those little crotch goblins screaming and throwing s**t everywhere. I actually feel my ovaries shrivel up when I witness this.
Ha! My ex-wife did this at a gathering of my family once. No one ever handed her a baby again.
I love that the person who posted this is using an avatar of Princess Caroline, a character whose major arc on the show "BoJack Horseman" is that she really REALLY wants to have a kid.
Yes it's selfish not to create something that you parade around for attention and gifts, and stealing people's free time.
Day care costs $12000 a year for one kid....kids cost WAY more than $15000
This is SO annoying. I was told this so many times ! I wanted to be sterilised in my 30's, but they wouldn't do it, as I "might change my mind, as I had just gotten married". Never mind that we were both 37 and had never wanted children !! So I just kept taking the pill constantly so I wouldn't have a period, couldn't bear them !
Humans are such a bad design... now I understand villains in movies trying to change humans to lizards or something
What imbecile is trying to save their marriage by having kids?! That's probably the biggest challenge for any relationship and even the great ones don't always survive the transition of become parents.
Note: this post originally had 83 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
I just want people to stop pressuring others. Do what you want. I have neither a marriage or kids and it is exactly what I want.
I can't get over it that people don't realize how rude it is to ask someone why they don't have kids. What kind of answer do they expect? "I don't want any", "I can't have any", ... Either way; uncomfortable conversation following.
I've got into the habit of answering "because I don't" whenever asked why I don't have kids. Usually shuts people up
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Speaking as someone who cannot have kids: I'm completely fine with a childless/childfree life, but the worst part about infertility is having to deal with people judging my childlessness as some sort of selfish act, or something that can be changed with enough persuasion. I understand that asking people "when are you going to have kids" might seem like a natural conversational filler, but for some people, it could actually be a really sensitive topic that they don't want to get into at work/at a family gathering/etc, and any reluctance to discuss children/fertility should be respected. Infertility is not something I ever feel happy about having to defend or justify. Posts like this make me realise I am not alone, but I think it's sad that childless people are so often not respected as "complete" or "fulfilled" human beings. For some people, a childless/childfree is a choice. For some of us, it is not. Either way, we deserve respect.
Yes, it is extremely rude, but for some reason, people seem to feel that it is their main goal in life, to ask why someone doesn’t have kids! Even if they don’t know you! I am infertile, and we weren’t even married, and didn’t know that yet, but we kept being asked, were we having kids, and that it was best to start right away.. ( I was 34 when we got married, hubs was 27..) we just said we didn’t know. But it really is no ones business but your own.. stupid me, thought of a comeback, after I found out I couldn’t have kids was, oh no! I am going to buy a kid off the black market! But realized that was creepy.. now we are past 50, so nobody says a word.. frankly, I don’t want anyone’s personal opinion on my no kid situation!
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Wow!! This has made me a little cross actually; maybe it's because I'm a person who minds their own business and doesn't ask people when they're having babies etc but what is with the hate for people who do choose to have children? I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and I'm so proud of myself and my daughters! These people are complaining about others being judgmental but all I see here is hypocrisy. People claiming that they can afford things and go out for nice meals as they don't have children, I can do these things and I am a young mum to 2 young children. Would they moan about over population/resources when my daughter could be the very Dr that saves their life or provides a service to them in some way as they grow old as we're an ageing population regardless!
LeighPig, as someone who never wanted and never had children, I totally agree with you. What I see in many of these tweets is a lot of bitterness. I'm completely at peace with not having kids and I've never felt the need of being sassy or sarcastic about it. Just a statement.
Load More Replies... I'm 41, never ever wanted kids, never ever changed my mind, and I don't feel like something is missing in my life, in the slightest. That said, I feel the deepest respect for people who make the choice of being parents. I think it's a tough job and requires a lot of effort and energy. A lot of these tweets confirm the stereotype that childless people are shallow and childish themselves. I don't think the good answer is basically saying that children are a nightmare and "you shouldn't have them". I think the best position would be understanding that there isn't just one path in life, and that everyone needs to make the choice that resembles them the most.
Absolutely!!! Well-stated and extremely well-said!!!! ❤️❤️🌹🌹 I sincerely wish that more people would see it this way!!!
Load More Replies... where I'm from, children is your ONLY retirement plan. so if you're not planning to marry and/or have kids, you're not gonna have anyone to take care of you in your elderly years, that's why a lot of ppl would try to talk you out of being single and/or childless. but it's stupid. I'm planning to live my life alone to the end after all. I had to save ALL my money for a nice retirement.
My Mom implicitly said the same thing by asking "Who would take care of you when you're older?" And I think "So I need to create and raise a personal nanny for my retirement, and (s)he won't be able to decline the job?". Determining someone's fate before they were born is just wrong. I don't mind taking care of my parents but I won't have kids only to have the same thing. I love children (provided their parents taught them correctly so they behave properly) but my cats and niece/nephews are enough for me.
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As a GenXer, I applaud the idea of leaving people the f**k alone about kids/no kids. I couldn't. Stop asking why. Stop suggesting things. Stop. Just... STOP. I hit 40 before total strangers shut the he** up. Twenty years of this crap for no reason but some random stranger or family member satisfying their need to force the world to live like they want it to. Ugh.
I have a teenage son. He is my pride and joy, but also the noisiest pain in the ass I've ever met. I like him more than all my pets combined, plus we spent about an hour last night watching old UFC fights on YouTube, and none of my pets has ever had anything funny to say about Conor McGregor. I totally get the appeal of being child free forever, but my kid is one of my favorite people ever, and I never regretted having him, even though he's spent most of the past sixteen years screaming in the house.
I have never wanted kids. I'm assuming it is because I had so much responsibility with my younger siblings that I felt I had "been there, done that". But also, my older sister was (is) the spawn of Satan, and I knew I had the genetic potential to make someone like her. Add in the number of hereditary diseases in my family, the fact that I'm short (5'4") with stupidly enormous boobs, the world is already overpopulated, children are wildly expensive, and I'm pretty happy with my decision.
Is your grandmother short and when she takes off her bra, the lady bits go to her belly button? I’m the oldest child, and currently the acting guardian of my 16 yo sister. I don’t want kids for all the same reasons. The spawn is my middle sister. I could deal with her three mental illnesses, but I can’t deal with the lying and manipulation anymore. My parents don’t know how awful she is because I enabled her and (with others) gave her free passes. I am a lot more selective with who I ride or die for now. Metastatic cancer in the middle of a pandemic will do that to you. It’s just the thyroid, and recently everything is okay. How do you deal with the back pain? I could use some help.
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Sometimes, asking about kids is just small talk, like weather, or 'what do you do?'. Unless you hate kids, it's not an offensive question in anyway. The way you are so taken aback when hearing people talking about kids is the same as how they feel when you say kids are annoying and parenting is miserable. Having kids has its own pros and cons. And those who advise you to have kids are talking out of their own happy experience. They probably mean no ill will.
I largely agree with Lili, but regrettably it is not always so simple. I have frequently been advised to have kids, and asked when I'm going to have them because it's "getting a bit late". To an infertile person like me, sometimes these "inoffensive" questions can be like a kick in the gut. In my opinion, for what it's worth, caution and sensitivity are needed when questioning people about their fertility.
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I don’t disagree with people’s choice to not have kids. Parenthood is no small thing and a huge responsibility and not everyone is cut out for it. I do, however, want to state that I pay $8000 a year on childcare for two kids and consider it money well spent. Just as you would not want judgment on having children, do not judge my spending habits either.
Everyone just needs to chiiilllll on both sides of the kid fence. It's not for everyone and that's cool. It ain't cool to go around harassing others for not having kids, it ain't cool to harass others for having kids.
My daughter has told me that the kitten that she adopted with her boyfriend a little while ago will be the only grandchild I’ll have, and I told her I am totally fine with this :) My partner isn’t amused however when I call him Grandpa..I wonder why? :D
As someone who doesn't have kids, I want to say three things. First, there are some people that I know that don't have kids, but I think that they would make awesome parents! I totally respect their choice not to have kids. Second, I think that it is so engrained in us to have kids, that people just can't understand that there are people who freely choose not to have kids. There is no law that says we have all have kids. Finally, to all of the people who are tired of people complaining and trying to make you feel guilty, tell them that if they don't like the fact that you don't want kids, then they are more than welcome to continue the discussion after you get back from your nice kid free vacation!
I love kids. I have kids. Some people want kids, some don't. Some people make wonderful parents. Unfortunately, there are many people who are terrible parents, yet they have kids. Good on people who know they do not want children. Better to not want and not have, than to have and not want.
I'm sure many may have a differing argument to this but I honestly think that 'child free' individuals can 100% say that they would prefer their life without a child as they wouldn't have experienced the love/connection and presence of your own child where as someone who has a child would have experienced a time without that. I get that everyone has hugely different experiences and who is to say life would work out as you wanted it to either way but my point still stands. I'm a mum and there are definitely some aspects of my life I enjoyed more before I had children but there are also many aspects I can now enjoy because of having them, which I would never have known.
Ditty Bop- there really isn't any need for that, Is there? Also, please remember that you are the result of what you call 'dirty breeding'!!
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I knew from an early age I was to remain child-free and I am. My status empowers me to be a professional magician which means I get paid to engage in an activity I would gladly do for free. Smartest decision I have ever made.
There's only one valid reason to have kids. Because you want them. If you're thinking about having kids and that isn't on your list of reasons, you should stop thinking about having kids - and stop judging others for not having them.
If you're not the one who's making the decisions about MY body, then get the hell away from me! Don't tell me what to do! I'm just 19, but I know I don't want to have kids. Every person that's heard me say this tells me "you're too young to know what you want." Yeah, so I guess 18 isn't too young to decide what career you want! I'm never getting married or having kids. Kids are also really expensive. Do you think a musician's pay is enough to take care of a child? No, it's not! I'm already struggling to pay rent in college even though I share an apartment with three other people and have financial aid from my aunt. I'm not going to force my (non-existent) kid and me to starve because I can barely pay for shelter. Don't tell me what to do. Do you own me? No, ya don't, so get out of my goddamn face!
I mean I find babies and if you will very small children awfully cute and I was going through a phase where I thought I must have one NOW or I'll die but that has passed. I know I can't handle all that drama and responsibilities and no time for myself. Hell, I sometimes even find our two cats strenous as hell when they race through the flat while I'm trying to work and jump behind the TV for the ooptomaloompth time. But, I must admit that since we have them, I can understand a little bit better the parents saying "sometimes I want to shoot them to the moon in a rocketship but I would never want to miss them". :)
Black Goat of the Woods: You nailed it. My parents had the five of us within the first six years of their marriage. (Both parents were raised Catholic.) My Dad did say once that while he wished they'd waited to start a family, and spaced us out more, he would never have given any of us up. He would totally agree with you.
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Took me years to conceive..family and friends said I was lucky not to have children as I have freedom.. I have two children now and have never felt more alive.. each to their own .. I love my life now and don't regret a thing !
I do want kids, but two adopted ones. I do not need a husband to have a family, and no it is not my obligation to society, no matter what you say Karen
My husband and I are not parents and loved to see our nieces and nephews! And if hen I was having an issue with one of my sister with kids, I’d just load the kids up with sugar! Then, give them back! But now they are all adults, well adjusted and fun to be around! We are, along with one other sister, the cool aunts and uncle!
Is it wrong for a Christian to not have kids? Just asking
No, it certainly isn’t!!! It’s totally 💯 someone’s choice!!! Jehovah won’t think any less of you if you don’t have any kids!!! ℹ️ speak 🗣from highly personal experience!!!!
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Maybe just let other people live their lives the way they want to. The choice to have children or not is a personal one, and parenthood isn't for everyone. (Note: I'm 55, and I have never, not once, bugged my 30yo daughter about grandchildren. It's her life; she gets to make the choices. Nor does she "owe me" grandchildren. Would I like to have grandchildren? Only if she wants children.)
People — “Why don’t you want kids?” Me — “I just don’t want to.” People — “Do you hate babies??” Me — “What? No, I just don’t want the responsibility.” People — “So you’re sterile??” Me — “Really? What part of your brain thought it’s ok to ask that? But no, I just DON’T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY, as I told you 3 seconds ago.” People — “But you have cat.” Me — “Yeah...... not the same.”
Both situations are great, watching my daughter learn new stuffs is amazing.
I used to hate it when colleagues brought their new baby into the office. Apparently, I was supposed to enthuse over these delicate tiny beings. They just didn’t get that I have zero interest when it comes to babies. My nephew and all my cousins children I have willingly cuddled and adore!
Infertility rates are climbing. Most people don't openly tell even their families or close friends because it's added pressure. Just leave people alone to let them have their own lives
People used to ask me when I was going to have kids despite not being married and being like 21, they would always say oh when you have a nice man and have a kids, I would then tell them I didn't want any and they would give me the same line about changing my mind. So I stated telling people I can't have any, now they say well you can adopt... Like no you don't understand, me having kids would be terrible, mental Illness it tramatizing to kids I'm not going to either pass it on or adopt a kid for them to see me all messed up. They would think I don't love them, why would I want to do that to someone????
So glad to (finally!!) see antinatalist comments on here. Anyone who thinks it's ok to have children right now is completely out of touch with reality. Breeding is the epitome of selfishness.
I also see nothing wrong with not having kids! We have had cats, and now, a great dog! He is like a small old man with a kids joy for play, and a personality. That makes us laugh! Also, we never have to give him money, he has always slept with us, and never wets the bed! And gross, but quite helpful, if he barfs, he cleans it up, by eating it again!
The title of the Dr. Blackstone's book is "Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence" (not "Childless") and working links can be found at her website werenothavingababy (dot) com.
The title of the Dr. Blackstone's book is "Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence" (not "Childless") and working links can be found here https://werenothavingababy.com/buy-the-book/
Ah.. no children.. free to leave my home when I want ...come home..when I want.. spend my money on Me!..no internal clock here ticking.. children are selfish ..rude..horrible messy little a**holes. no thank you .
You were once children. It is sad that so many parents failed to raise their own children to love and celebrate children. So jaded...
I don't agree with pressuring someone to have kids, but I think it's messed up to want to hit a child with a rock/compare children to cats and dogs.
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I CAN"T have kids and I don't WANT kids. I still get the "oh you will change your mind one day" and " oh, my friend thought she couldn't have kids and she got pregnant". Just stop! PLEASE!
If anyone asks you why you’re not having kids let them go on for a second about how kids are such a joy and you’re missing out or not doing your duty as a married person or whatever and then pretend to get really upset and say you can’t and any time anyone even mentions it you get really sad. I guess it could be seen as bad but imo if you make them feel shameful enough for even mentioning it it could prevent them from saying it to someone who actually gets upset.
For the person, “Nina” that said, “All my friends that have children think I’m so lucky I don’t have any,” well, maybe you just think they are thinking that. I love my adult children, have never regretted having them, and I don’t envy you.
There will always be stupid intrusive questions. This will be minimal in 30 years with a generational shift. People don’t freak out any more if you say you don’t wanna go too college. 30 years ago that was the cookie cutter expectation. Graduate high school, college, marriage, house, kids. That has changed drastically and people without 3 kids and white picket fences will be praised for being considerate for not eating up the food supply!
How do you know the comments are all from USA and not Canada? Also you didn’t read the other comments about kids being annoying, or time wasters? You did. You just didn’t like it so you pretended it was all about money.
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People are allowed to talk about whatever they want. You're the one who decided to look. Grow up.
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How is that “rude?” And how does calling oneself “childfree” have anything to do with other people?
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I just want people to stop pressuring others. Do what you want. I have neither a marriage or kids and it is exactly what I want.
I can't get over it that people don't realize how rude it is to ask someone why they don't have kids. What kind of answer do they expect? "I don't want any", "I can't have any", ... Either way; uncomfortable conversation following.
I've got into the habit of answering "because I don't" whenever asked why I don't have kids. Usually shuts people up
Load More Replies... Speaking as someone who cannot have kids: I'm completely fine with a childless/childfree life, but the worst part about infertility is having to deal with people judging my childlessness as some sort of selfish act, or something that can be changed with enough persuasion. I understand that asking people "when are you going to have kids" might seem like a natural conversational filler, but for some people, it could actually be a really sensitive topic that they don't want to get into at work/at a family gathering/etc, and any reluctance to discuss children/fertility should be respected. Infertility is not something I ever feel happy about having to defend or justify. Posts like this make me realise I am not alone, but I think it's sad that childless people are so often not respected as "complete" or "fulfilled" human beings. For some people, a childless/childfree is a choice. For some of us, it is not. Either way, we deserve respect.
Yes, it is extremely rude, but for some reason, people seem to feel that it is their main goal in life, to ask why someone doesn’t have kids! Even if they don’t know you! I am infertile, and we weren’t even married, and didn’t know that yet, but we kept being asked, were we having kids, and that it was best to start right away.. ( I was 34 when we got married, hubs was 27..) we just said we didn’t know. But it really is no ones business but your own.. stupid me, thought of a comeback, after I found out I couldn’t have kids was, oh no! I am going to buy a kid off the black market! But realized that was creepy.. now we are past 50, so nobody says a word.. frankly, I don’t want anyone’s personal opinion on my no kid situation!
Load More Replies... Wow!! This has made me a little cross actually; maybe it's because I'm a person who minds their own business and doesn't ask people when they're having babies etc but what is with the hate for people who do choose to have children? I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and I'm so proud of myself and my daughters! These people are complaining about others being judgmental but all I see here is hypocrisy. People claiming that they can afford things and go out for nice meals as they don't have children, I can do these things and I am a young mum to 2 young children. Would they moan about over population/resources when my daughter could be the very Dr that saves their life or provides a service to them in some way as they grow old as we're an ageing population regardless!
LeighPig, as someone who never wanted and never had children, I totally agree with you. What I see in many of these tweets is a lot of bitterness. I'm completely at peace with not having kids and I've never felt the need of being sassy or sarcastic about it. Just a statement.
Load More Replies... I'm 41, never ever wanted kids, never ever changed my mind, and I don't feel like something is missing in my life, in the slightest. That said, I feel the deepest respect for people who make the choice of being parents. I think it's a tough job and requires a lot of effort and energy. A lot of these tweets confirm the stereotype that childless people are shallow and childish themselves. I don't think the good answer is basically saying that children are a nightmare and "you shouldn't have them". I think the best position would be understanding that there isn't just one path in life, and that everyone needs to make the choice that resembles them the most.
Absolutely!!! Well-stated and extremely well-said!!!! ❤️❤️🌹🌹 I sincerely wish that more people would see it this way!!!
Load More Replies... where I'm from, children is your ONLY retirement plan. so if you're not planning to marry and/or have kids, you're not gonna have anyone to take care of you in your elderly years, that's why a lot of ppl would try to talk you out of being single and/or childless. but it's stupid. I'm planning to live my life alone to the end after all. I had to save ALL my money for a nice retirement.
My Mom implicitly said the same thing by asking "Who would take care of you when you're older?" And I think "So I need to create and raise a personal nanny for my retirement, and (s)he won't be able to decline the job?". Determining someone's fate before they were born is just wrong. I don't mind taking care of my parents but I won't have kids only to have the same thing. I love children (provided their parents taught them correctly so they behave properly) but my cats and niece/nephews are enough for me.
Load More Replies... As a GenXer, I applaud the idea of leaving people the f**k alone about kids/no kids. I couldn't. Stop asking why. Stop suggesting things. Stop. Just... STOP. I hit 40 before total strangers shut the he** up. Twenty years of this crap for no reason but some random stranger or family member satisfying their need to force the world to live like they want it to. Ugh.
I have a teenage son. He is my pride and joy, but also the noisiest pain in the ass I've ever met. I like him more than all my pets combined, plus we spent about an hour last night watching old UFC fights on YouTube, and none of my pets has ever had anything funny to say about Conor McGregor. I totally get the appeal of being child free forever, but my kid is one of my favorite people ever, and I never regretted having him, even though he's spent most of the past sixteen years screaming in the house.
I have never wanted kids. I'm assuming it is because I had so much responsibility with my younger siblings that I felt I had "been there, done that". But also, my older sister was (is) the spawn of Satan, and I knew I had the genetic potential to make someone like her. Add in the number of hereditary diseases in my family, the fact that I'm short (5'4") with stupidly enormous boobs, the world is already overpopulated, children are wildly expensive, and I'm pretty happy with my decision.
Is your grandmother short and when she takes off her bra, the lady bits go to her belly button? I’m the oldest child, and currently the acting guardian of my 16 yo sister. I don’t want kids for all the same reasons. The spawn is my middle sister. I could deal with her three mental illnesses, but I can’t deal with the lying and manipulation anymore. My parents don’t know how awful she is because I enabled her and (with others) gave her free passes. I am a lot more selective with who I ride or die for now. Metastatic cancer in the middle of a pandemic will do that to you. It’s just the thyroid, and recently everything is okay. How do you deal with the back pain? I could use some help.
Load More Replies... Sometimes, asking about kids is just small talk, like weather, or 'what do you do?'. Unless you hate kids, it's not an offensive question in anyway. The way you are so taken aback when hearing people talking about kids is the same as how they feel when you say kids are annoying and parenting is miserable. Having kids has its own pros and cons. And those who advise you to have kids are talking out of their own happy experience. They probably mean no ill will.
I largely agree with Lili, but regrettably it is not always so simple. I have frequently been advised to have kids, and asked when I'm going to have them because it's "getting a bit late". To an infertile person like me, sometimes these "inoffensive" questions can be like a kick in the gut. In my opinion, for what it's worth, caution and sensitivity are needed when questioning people about their fertility.
Load More Replies... I don’t disagree with people’s choice to not have kids. Parenthood is no small thing and a huge responsibility and not everyone is cut out for it. I do, however, want to state that I pay $8000 a year on childcare for two kids and consider it money well spent. Just as you would not want judgment on having children, do not judge my spending habits either.
Everyone just needs to chiiilllll on both sides of the kid fence. It's not for everyone and that's cool. It ain't cool to go around harassing others for not having kids, it ain't cool to harass others for having kids.
My daughter has told me that the kitten that she adopted with her boyfriend a little while ago will be the only grandchild I’ll have, and I told her I am totally fine with this :) My partner isn’t amused however when I call him Grandpa..I wonder why? :D
As someone who doesn't have kids, I want to say three things. First, there are some people that I know that don't have kids, but I think that they would make awesome parents! I totally respect their choice not to have kids. Second, I think that it is so engrained in us to have kids, that people just can't understand that there are people who freely choose not to have kids. There is no law that says we have all have kids. Finally, to all of the people who are tired of people complaining and trying to make you feel guilty, tell them that if they don't like the fact that you don't want kids, then they are more than welcome to continue the discussion after you get back from your nice kid free vacation!
I love kids. I have kids. Some people want kids, some don't. Some people make wonderful parents. Unfortunately, there are many people who are terrible parents, yet they have kids. Good on people who know they do not want children. Better to not want and not have, than to have and not want.
I'm sure many may have a differing argument to this but I honestly think that 'child free' individuals can 100% say that they would prefer their life without a child as they wouldn't have experienced the love/connection and presence of your own child where as someone who has a child would have experienced a time without that. I get that everyone has hugely different experiences and who is to say life would work out as you wanted it to either way but my point still stands. I'm a mum and there are definitely some aspects of my life I enjoyed more before I had children but there are also many aspects I can now enjoy because of having them, which I would never have known.
Ditty Bop- there really isn't any need for that, Is there? Also, please remember that you are the result of what you call 'dirty breeding'!!
Load More Replies... I knew from an early age I was to remain child-free and I am. My status empowers me to be a professional magician which means I get paid to engage in an activity I would gladly do for free. Smartest decision I have ever made.
There's only one valid reason to have kids. Because you want them. If you're thinking about having kids and that isn't on your list of reasons, you should stop thinking about having kids - and stop judging others for not having them.
If you're not the one who's making the decisions about MY body, then get the hell away from me! Don't tell me what to do! I'm just 19, but I know I don't want to have kids. Every person that's heard me say this tells me "you're too young to know what you want." Yeah, so I guess 18 isn't too young to decide what career you want! I'm never getting married or having kids. Kids are also really expensive. Do you think a musician's pay is enough to take care of a child? No, it's not! I'm already struggling to pay rent in college even though I share an apartment with three other people and have financial aid from my aunt. I'm not going to force my (non-existent) kid and me to starve because I can barely pay for shelter. Don't tell me what to do. Do you own me? No, ya don't, so get out of my goddamn face!
I mean I find babies and if you will very small children awfully cute and I was going through a phase where I thought I must have one NOW or I'll die but that has passed. I know I can't handle all that drama and responsibilities and no time for myself. Hell, I sometimes even find our two cats strenous as hell when they race through the flat while I'm trying to work and jump behind the TV for the ooptomaloompth time. But, I must admit that since we have them, I can understand a little bit better the parents saying "sometimes I want to shoot them to the moon in a rocketship but I would never want to miss them". :)
Black Goat of the Woods: You nailed it. My parents had the five of us within the first six years of their marriage. (Both parents were raised Catholic.) My Dad did say once that while he wished they'd waited to start a family, and spaced us out more, he would never have given any of us up. He would totally agree with you.
Load More Replies... Took me years to conceive..family and friends said I was lucky not to have children as I have freedom.. I have two children now and have never felt more alive.. each to their own .. I love my life now and don't regret a thing !
I do want kids, but two adopted ones. I do not need a husband to have a family, and no it is not my obligation to society, no matter what you say Karen
My husband and I are not parents and loved to see our nieces and nephews! And if hen I was having an issue with one of my sister with kids, I’d just load the kids up with sugar! Then, give them back! But now they are all adults, well adjusted and fun to be around! We are, along with one other sister, the cool aunts and uncle!
Is it wrong for a Christian to not have kids? Just asking
No, it certainly isn’t!!! It’s totally 💯 someone’s choice!!! Jehovah won’t think any less of you if you don’t have any kids!!! ℹ️ speak 🗣from highly personal experience!!!!
Load More Replies... Maybe just let other people live their lives the way they want to. The choice to have children or not is a personal one, and parenthood isn't for everyone. (Note: I'm 55, and I have never, not once, bugged my 30yo daughter about grandchildren. It's her life; she gets to make the choices. Nor does she "owe me" grandchildren. Would I like to have grandchildren? Only if she wants children.)
People — “Why don’t you want kids?” Me — “I just don’t want to.” People — “Do you hate babies??” Me — “What? No, I just don’t want the responsibility.” People — “So you’re sterile??” Me — “Really? What part of your brain thought it’s ok to ask that? But no, I just DON’T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY, as I told you 3 seconds ago.” People — “But you have cat.” Me — “Yeah...... not the same.”
Both situations are great, watching my daughter learn new stuffs is amazing.
I used to hate it when colleagues brought their new baby into the office. Apparently, I was supposed to enthuse over these delicate tiny beings. They just didn’t get that I have zero interest when it comes to babies. My nephew and all my cousins children I have willingly cuddled and adore!
Infertility rates are climbing. Most people don't openly tell even their families or close friends because it's added pressure. Just leave people alone to let them have their own lives
People used to ask me when I was going to have kids despite not being married and being like 21, they would always say oh when you have a nice man and have a kids, I would then tell them I didn't want any and they would give me the same line about changing my mind. So I stated telling people I can't have any, now they say well you can adopt... Like no you don't understand, me having kids would be terrible, mental Illness it tramatizing to kids I'm not going to either pass it on or adopt a kid for them to see me all messed up. They would think I don't love them, why would I want to do that to someone????
So glad to (finally!!) see antinatalist comments on here. Anyone who thinks it's ok to have children right now is completely out of touch with reality. Breeding is the epitome of selfishness.
I also see nothing wrong with not having kids! We have had cats, and now, a great dog! He is like a small old man with a kids joy for play, and a personality. That makes us laugh! Also, we never have to give him money, he has always slept with us, and never wets the bed! And gross, but quite helpful, if he barfs, he cleans it up, by eating it again!
The title of the Dr. Blackstone's book is "Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence" (not "Childless") and working links can be found at her website werenothavingababy (dot) com.
The title of the Dr. Blackstone's book is "Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence" (not "Childless") and working links can be found here https://werenothavingababy.com/buy-the-book/
Ah.. no children.. free to leave my home when I want ...come home..when I want.. spend my money on Me!..no internal clock here ticking.. children are selfish ..rude..horrible messy little a**holes. no thank you .
You were once children. It is sad that so many parents failed to raise their own children to love and celebrate children. So jaded...
I don't agree with pressuring someone to have kids, but I think it's messed up to want to hit a child with a rock/compare children to cats and dogs.
Load More Replies... I CAN"T have kids and I don't WANT kids. I still get the "oh you will change your mind one day" and " oh, my friend thought she couldn't have kids and she got pregnant". Just stop! PLEASE!
If anyone asks you why you’re not having kids let them go on for a second about how kids are such a joy and you’re missing out or not doing your duty as a married person or whatever and then pretend to get really upset and say you can’t and any time anyone even mentions it you get really sad. I guess it could be seen as bad but imo if you make them feel shameful enough for even mentioning it it could prevent them from saying it to someone who actually gets upset.
For the person, “Nina” that said, “All my friends that have children think I’m so lucky I don’t have any,” well, maybe you just think they are thinking that. I love my adult children, have never regretted having them, and I don’t envy you.
There will always be stupid intrusive questions. This will be minimal in 30 years with a generational shift. People don’t freak out any more if you say you don’t wanna go too college. 30 years ago that was the cookie cutter expectation. Graduate high school, college, marriage, house, kids. That has changed drastically and people without 3 kids and white picket fences will be praised for being considerate for not eating up the food supply!
How do you know the comments are all from USA and not Canada? Also you didn’t read the other comments about kids being annoying, or time wasters? You did. You just didn’t like it so you pretended it was all about money.
Load More Replies... People are allowed to talk about whatever they want. You're the one who decided to look. Grow up.
Load More Replies... How is that “rude?” And how does calling oneself “childfree” have anything to do with other people?
Load More Replies... 