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30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group
How could we recognize a bad person? Culture and, in particular, cinema, give us a lot of advice, but they often turn out to be absolutely unusable in real life. After all, stereotyped scoundrels, with a look from under their brows and an ominous laugh, exuding evil with their whole appearance, practically do not occur in reality.
On the contrary, a really bad person, rather, will be incredibly pleasant in communication, will do everything to ingratiate themselves with you - and then, when they reach their goal, they will definitely do something harmful to you. But there is a wonderful science of psychology, and it helps, by the smallest, seemingly invisible at first glance, signs, to determine that you are dealing with someone who is not as good as they seem.
A thread starter appeared on the AskReddit community just one day ago, asking the question: "What is a subtle sign someone isn't a good person?" The result is over 15.4K upvotes and approximately 9.2K various comments. Now it will definitely be much more difficult for the villains to ingratiate themselves with us!
Bored Panda has compiled for you a selection of the most popular and useful tips from the original thread. Therefore, feel free to read, scroll to the very end, leave your own comments - and may bad people never cross your life path!
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Littering. It's not a violent act or anything, but it does indicate a lack of respect that usually carries into other aspects of the person's life.
I think I posted this here a while back. I once threw a cup outside the car window when I was a really young kid and it haunted me for years. I have never littered since that day. It was so culturally accepted I never questioned it as a kid.
How they treat people in the service industry. When they act like they are better than waiters, fast food employees, or retail workers.
Their treatment of the weakest members of society including defenceless animals, the homeless and those in low service positions.
Not owning up to their mistakes and always attributing it to someone or something else.
They don’t put the shopping cart in the designated area and leave it randomly in the parking lot.
My work is required by management to do a bunch of “random acts of kindness” in the community every month. One month my budget was low so I made my salesmen coworkers go to the grocery store and spend 15 mins putting all the carts back while I filmed them :P
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I'm disabled and what really frustrates me is how far from the disabled parking spaces they place the cart corrals. I'm often exhausted when I come out if the store and I sometimes leave the cart in the area near my parking space, not to be rude but because I'm just worn out. Why won't they put cart parking near handicapped spaces?
Keep leaving them there. A cart corral so close to the door would take another parking spot away. When I see one left there I will always grab it on my way in the store.
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I used to think this too, but then one day I saw a person who was clearly struggling to walk and was using the cart for support. Once they had put groceries into their car, they just left the cart by the car because they could not return it and walk back to their car unsupported. Is this true for everyone? No, but you never know what is happening in another's life.
That’s a different situation. If you’re physically unable to return the cart, no hard feelings. If you’re an able-bodied person who is too lazy to walk a few feet to put it in the right spot, then yes, you’re choosing to make someone else’s life more difficult, and it’s a jerk move.
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I kinda agree, however there are sometimes reasons why it doesn't get out back (received an emergency call, tummy problems, other sudden illness). We don't always know why someone does something we consider a jerk move like this so we shouldn't necessarily judge folks on THIS one.
I love telling this story. Probably about 15 years ago, I was coming out of a store and as I'm walking to my car I see the guy that's parked next to me push his cart directly behind me and go get in his car. But my timing was perfect, just as he closed his door I arrived at the cart, moved it directly behind him, jumped in a left in a hurry. :)
Sorry, I have to step in here. I am disabled and have trouble breathing and walking. I don't ever leave my shopping cart nilly-w***y, I put it at the front of my car in the handicapped space. When I get done shopping 9/10 times I do not have the strength or ability to take that cart back to its area, unless I am parked right beside the return area. I have suggested to different Stores to have a Cart Area in front of the Handicapped parking spots. There always seems to be room to do this. And if you are wondering, how do I drive home...After an extended rest and hoping that my frozen items will not have to be eaten up that night.
Before I had kids, I always put the cart back. Once I had kids, If the cart corral was realllly close to my car, I would put it back. But No way was I walking away from my baby/babies to put the cart back. When they were teens, I sent them to return it but now they are grown up and gone, I'm back to always returning the cart.
Not always. I use a trolley to help me walk, and find it hard to return it.I'm grateful to find one in the parking lot to help me walk to the store.
I feel anyone with little kids get a pass (especially if more than one). After emptying the cart and there are extra little ones, it's safer to buckle them in the car straight from the cart. I would never expect them to leave the kids in the car just to return the cart. Then the cart is also more easily accessible for the next mom (dad, or whatever) to take the little ones out and straight into a cart.
For all the disabled people or those that have good reasons, this isn't about you. It's about those people who are perfectly capable of returning a cart but don't.
But sometimes our disability isn't all that visible and we get the dirty looks from people who just assume we are jerks.
Load More Replies... Conscientiousness is the positive attribute that is lacking here. There is no equal opposite word that I can think of. Negligent? Irresponsible? Heedless?
They need to keep a cart area within the handicapped parking. People who need a cart to walk through a store can't walk back from cart corral unassisted. Ralleys grocery store is wonderful at providing this easy access.
When I had a new infant I couldn't carry them and the groceries out without a cart, and there was no way I was leaving them alone in a car, especially on hot days when I would need to leave a door open while I walked the cart back. If I couldn't park next to a corral, I left the cart (where it couldn't roll away and do damage).
I purposefully get carts out of awkward places and return them to much less awkward places.
I always put my cart back and usually take a cart back that somebody else left randomly in the lot. Today a stranger thanked me for doing it.
I admit i do this, but mostly because if i take 2 long ppl get pissed at me (I'm terrified of confrontation.) So when i know i have time i do try, unless im feeling faint..
I disagree here. Now if you are close to one, obviously put the cart up, but I like to park far away, especially if the store is busy. Well they don't always have cart bins far away, so when I'm done loading the car, especially if I have a whiny, tired kid with me, I'll leave it somewhere it doesn't get in the way or won't hit another car.
Some people have heavy a*s babies and it makes it a pain in the a*s lol my son is 26 pounds I'm not carrying him across a lot to return the cart sorry
Had a friend try to tell me they were doing the lowest employees a favor by not returning carts because if everyone returned carts then the person returning carts would be out of a job... Fine, but you can still put it in the return queue. He was the type that would put it behind a car or in an empty spot so that it blocks the whole spot. We aren't friends anymore
Actually, in Australia, we leave trollies on the walking lane between car parks so when you're walking to the shops, you can just grab one instead of going on the hunt to find one.
For my entire life, it has been normal practice at my fave grocery store chain to put the cart in the cart corral or to tuck the front wheels over the nearest curb aligning vegetation. I now seek out the cart corral, but I will not be shamed for occasionally doing something that even the store doesn't frown upon. I won't leave a cart in the center of a parking space. That's just rude.
A long time ago, I bought a car. I only had it a week, when someone left a buggy in the parking lot while I was working. A huge storm came up, with some crazy wind. That Stupid buggy slammed into my car! 6 big dents in the driver's door! I was sick... My first, nice car, ruined in a week! People, put the buggies in the corale!
Reminds me of the scene from Fried Green Tomatoes where they battle over a parking space
this one I don't agree with. particularly for people with either disability and/or having small children, parking lot safety is complicated & watching someone leave a cart next to their car is part of a larger sequence of events the observer knows nothing about.
Usually I put it back sometimes I don't because I don't want to be that far from my kids
Don’t open a door for someone or if you do they don’t acknowledge it.
As someone with chronic pain, I have left carts out. It was all I could do to get in my car and go home. One never knows the entire story of another.
I worked in retail, and I hated that people did this. But I wouldn't go as far as saying they're automatically bad people.
Or they're I'll and need to go. I've done this occasionally because my stomach has no desire to wait anymore. When I have to go, I HAVE to go.
Or just lazy. It doesnt automatically make you a "bad person". Maybe coupled with one or more traits in this list. But this alone isnt a deal breaker.
only about 10-15% of the population does this but I bet that group are heavily made up of maga repukes
I can't stand when people do that! I go around collecting them to put them away.
It only takes a minute to bring it to the collection area, just do it.
They have a habit of talking bad about other people behind their backs and spreading gossip and rumor. You can tell a lot about a person by observing how they talk about their peers behind their back.
When a person occasionally vents by talking bad about someone (like their boss, or classmate) because of some unpleasant experience, that's okay. We all do it. But when a person habitually talks s**t about people behind their back, that's a big red flag.
My mama always taught me if they gossip to you behind others' backs, they'll gossip about you behind your back.
When they talk about themselves then stop listening when u talk about yourself
They believe that respect is earned but demand it immediately from you.
Those who say that are power trippers and place themselves so high up on a pedestal they think they're royalty. A lot of gangster wannabes and drug dealers act like that.
When they see someone else's progress or success as a threat.
I found a quote in my native language that means 'Happy with someone's trouble and annoyed with someone's success.'
I've learned that when someone is claiming to be really "direct" or "blunt" or "honest" it is often a self justification for being controlling and rude.
Those who claim to be brutally honest are usually more interested in the 'brutal' than the 'honest'. It is entirely possible to be honest without being brutal.
All their exes are crazy and nothing negative is ever their fault.
If all their exes are crazy, you have wonder why they kept choosing to date crazy people.
When they don't say things like thank you or please.
I just automatically assume people are a**holes when they can't do these basic, easy acts of kindness.
Passively aggressively insulting you in front of a group of people in such a way that you can’t say anything back without looking like you’re the emotional one even though you know that they intentionally insulted you to disrespect you.
It's sad our emotions are policed like this. F**k it. Get upset. Cry if you want to. Don't laugh. Our emotions are ours. Own them. The only reason people hate seeing you emote your true feelings is because it makes them uncomfortable. It makes them uncomfortable because they don't feel they're allowed to express their feelings outwardly, and don't believe anyone else should either. That's their problem. Don't allow them to make their problem your problem. They can leave any time.
The common denominator. They fall out with people all the time but it’s always the other persons fault or family members don’t talk to them but that’s not their fault because they’ve done nothing wrong.
It’s never them, it’s always everyone else is out to get them or is unreasonable, yet they’re the only common denominator in all the situations with all these supposedly shitty people
Yup. Much of these are someone I know to a 'T'. I'm beginning to think she's not a very good person.
They demand forgiveness instead of asking for it.
"I said I was sorry, it's done now. Get over it."
They share private information about others with you
Oh yes, That's private for a reason. The only people I confide in are my closest friends.
Regular putdowns that are disguised as "jokes"
EDIT: I think I need to be more clear here. I'm talking about "jokes" that they either carry on long after everyone else has stopped, or alternatively legit insults that they will *only* claim is a joke if you get upset.
That is desgusting, and this comming from a guy with a pitch black sence of humor, many Times a put myself down to promote a laugh ( fell free to check my comenta if in doubt ) i Mock myself before mocking someone else.
If they’re dismissive of what you have to say or want to share.
A lot of these are kind of blatant. To me a really subtle clue is when people are unable to be happy for others the moment things go wrong with their own life. Less obvious than people who fail to empathize with pain, and also less obvious than people who dismiss or minimize accomplishments, but ultimately indicative of the same empathy deficiency. Specifically in acquaintanceships and close friendships.
“I don’t want to hear about your fiancé proposing to you when my boyfriend just dumped me” sucks, and so does “Your fiancé proposed after 3 years and you’re going on a Hawaii honeymoon? That’s so nice for you sweetie, mine proposed after 2 years and we went on a tour around Europe for 3 months”
“I don’t care about your divorce because I’ve been through 3 divorces” is obviously a s**tty attitude, and “I care about your feelings about this divorce even though I’m also divorced” is basic decency.
What I look for (and try very hard to be) sounds like:
“I’m happy that you are experiencing career success even though I am unhappy at my job”
-I’m able to hear your joy without my eyes glazing over + my mind wandering to my apartment’s ant issue.
“If I compare myself to you this is painful to hear, but really what that means is you’re experiencing wonderful things, which I want for you”
“Even though I’m cold and hangry, I’m not going to bring anyone else’s mood down.”
Wait, “I don’t want to hear about your fiancé proposing to you when my boyfriend just dumped me” ... So, we're putting all of the "suck it up and be nice" on the person experiencing a hardship? Shouldn't the happy person who wants to share maybe also take some responsibility in sharing in appropriate avenues? I wouldn't insist on showing pictures of my new puppy to someone whose dog just died, for example
“Only God can judge me” tattooed anywhere on their body. I should’ve known…….
I think "Only Dog can judge me" is better, and dogs are good judges of ppl
When you’re going out and they judge or make a rude comment about a random person passing by.
someone who is incapable of reflecting. They are the centre of their own universe. They are unable to grasp the big picture or how they fit within it. Everyone has a place in the larger picture, which is their small view of the world.
And everyone/everything else exists only to serve their purpose or to oppose them.
Always blaming others for things that happen to them, and not putting the trolley back after they are done with it.
Yea lol, funny thing, trolleys here are "paid" all the trolleys are chained toguether and you have to depósit a 1€ coin in order to release the chain, só 95%of people take their trolleys back, and if they don't lol, theres always kids looking for " Lost " trolleys in the parking lot.
Note: this post originally had 39 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
People who prominently boast about how much activity they cram into their free time to be "fun", just before making snide comments about how they drove by your house and saw you "sitting on your couch watching TV", as if enjoying some down time and watching something educational means your "boring".
documentaries can be so fascinating and I like staying in. those people are just trying too hard, they need external validation. Cheers to the documentaries!
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People who brag about how much they go to church (especially the ones who imply that the only reason they're not out there doing bad things to other people is because they're afraid of god's judgment).
There are basically 3 things on this list. Most if the posts are about the same thing.
If they are a billionaire or close to it.... They've definitely f***** some people over
If theyre 1% they where either born into it or got lucky to be able to exploit something to get that rich. A decent human being usually cant be thay rich because theyll give most of it to people who need it more. Some content creators might be the acception to the rule like Mr Beast who actually does help a lot of people with the money he makes.
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It is a sign, but doesnt mean if somebody falls in the category that they are bad person. Or do we all believe that people are born bad?
I hear you to an extent. Some, not all, of these are not so much "bad person" as they are "person who annoys the heck out of me and no one wants to be around you."
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People that try and 'one-up' anyone else. Nobody is ever sicker, works more or gets less sleep than my husband. Everything is a contest with him. (He works 4 days a week, from home)
people who wear obscene clothing. Like the guy in my town who lies to walk around with a ballcap that says "FU*K YOU" on it
Why? Why do politics need to be dragged into everything? What is the purpose of it? Election happened. It's fine and over with. We're supposed to get a 4 year grace period before we have to listen to people bicker and bullsh*t about this c**p again and instead no one can seem to just let it go. Obviously the guy you wanted won, so what are you still so p*ssed about?
Load More Replies... Men who walk around in public without a shirt on is a big one for me. As well as people who drive with their music super loud and their windows down, and people who unnecessarily rev their motorcycles and their tuned cars. I've never seen any of these above being good people. Always douchey behaviour.
Well folks. I am a moderately bad person. Which I had always suspected. There are like 3 of these I'm guilty of.
We all are in our own ways. Don't sweat it if you feel like a moderately bad person. Just don't be a full on bad person. I could and should be a nicer person to people socially but I am a good person in many other ways. Others are very nice to people but in other ways do bad.
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The way the treat their mother. If they treat them badly specifically. I had a friend once who treated his mother so poorly with such disrespect. She would send him money everyday and he would be impatient and rude and complain that it wasnt enough and how he needed more always. But God, on the off chance she said no though, he would turn into this tantrum throwing man child calling her names, hanging up on her, complaining to others about how awful she was and why should couldn't just do what he said. and on and on. He is 47 years old. And his mom is losing her health quickly. It's very sad. But glad we're no longer friends.
me and my mom have problems but God gave my mom a son and what she feels about it is between God and her I have a life to live
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A lot of these are traits of narcissists. Anyone who actually thinks they're above others, or who are so insecure that they have to put others down in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Anyone who manipulates situations so that they won't be put out - they act as though their wants and needs trump the wants and needs of others. Exploit the weaknesses of others. In my family, all my siblings have a very difficult time with confrontation, and I have seen how others exploit that - make it so there is a constant threat of an angry outburst, so you tend to go out of your way to placate them. On the other hand, specific to this, it's important and learn good communication skills so that confrontation can be dealt with in a healthy way, and boundaries can be set - you don't want to disallow others to ever show anger
The passive aggressive "jokes" were my family's favorite way to put me down. If I said anything they would act quite affronted. That's gaslighting. Call them on it. Eventually they will get the idea you aren't their punching bag. I avoided a lot of contact felt relieved. Sorry for those being put through it.
"I'm not here to make friends" aka. I made it to level 1 manager and f with anyone trying to do the right thing.
Blaming family members for how their life turned out because they made choices that NEVER benefited their future.
Of course, there's also the classic "I'm not ____, but..." Also, the ones who are sickly sweet to the point of being poisonous. You find this particularly in the southern US. I've seen people who'll smile while they stab you in the back. Literally, if they thought they could get away with it.
Is it my imagination, or is every single one of these a description of trump?
#31 When they make every f*****g thing political
Load More Replies... People who prominently boast about how much activity they cram into their free time to be "fun", just before making snide comments about how they drove by your house and saw you "sitting on your couch watching TV", as if enjoying some down time and watching something educational means your "boring".
documentaries can be so fascinating and I like staying in. those people are just trying too hard, they need external validation. Cheers to the documentaries!
Load More Replies... People who brag about how much they go to church (especially the ones who imply that the only reason they're not out there doing bad things to other people is because they're afraid of god's judgment).
There are basically 3 things on this list. Most if the posts are about the same thing.
If they are a billionaire or close to it.... They've definitely f***** some people over
If theyre 1% they where either born into it or got lucky to be able to exploit something to get that rich. A decent human being usually cant be thay rich because theyll give most of it to people who need it more. Some content creators might be the acception to the rule like Mr Beast who actually does help a lot of people with the money he makes.
Load More Replies... It is a sign, but doesnt mean if somebody falls in the category that they are bad person. Or do we all believe that people are born bad?
I hear you to an extent. Some, not all, of these are not so much "bad person" as they are "person who annoys the heck out of me and no one wants to be around you."
Load More Replies... People that try and 'one-up' anyone else. Nobody is ever sicker, works more or gets less sleep than my husband. Everything is a contest with him. (He works 4 days a week, from home)
people who wear obscene clothing. Like the guy in my town who lies to walk around with a ballcap that says "FU*K YOU" on it
Why? Why do politics need to be dragged into everything? What is the purpose of it? Election happened. It's fine and over with. We're supposed to get a 4 year grace period before we have to listen to people bicker and bullsh*t about this c**p again and instead no one can seem to just let it go. Obviously the guy you wanted won, so what are you still so p*ssed about?
Load More Replies... Men who walk around in public without a shirt on is a big one for me. As well as people who drive with their music super loud and their windows down, and people who unnecessarily rev their motorcycles and their tuned cars. I've never seen any of these above being good people. Always douchey behaviour.
Well folks. I am a moderately bad person. Which I had always suspected. There are like 3 of these I'm guilty of.
We all are in our own ways. Don't sweat it if you feel like a moderately bad person. Just don't be a full on bad person. I could and should be a nicer person to people socially but I am a good person in many other ways. Others are very nice to people but in other ways do bad.
Load More Replies... The way the treat their mother. If they treat them badly specifically. I had a friend once who treated his mother so poorly with such disrespect. She would send him money everyday and he would be impatient and rude and complain that it wasnt enough and how he needed more always. But God, on the off chance she said no though, he would turn into this tantrum throwing man child calling her names, hanging up on her, complaining to others about how awful she was and why should couldn't just do what he said. and on and on. He is 47 years old. And his mom is losing her health quickly. It's very sad. But glad we're no longer friends.
me and my mom have problems but God gave my mom a son and what she feels about it is between God and her I have a life to live
Load More Replies... A lot of these are traits of narcissists. Anyone who actually thinks they're above others, or who are so insecure that they have to put others down in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Anyone who manipulates situations so that they won't be put out - they act as though their wants and needs trump the wants and needs of others. Exploit the weaknesses of others. In my family, all my siblings have a very difficult time with confrontation, and I have seen how others exploit that - make it so there is a constant threat of an angry outburst, so you tend to go out of your way to placate them. On the other hand, specific to this, it's important and learn good communication skills so that confrontation can be dealt with in a healthy way, and boundaries can be set - you don't want to disallow others to ever show anger
The passive aggressive "jokes" were my family's favorite way to put me down. If I said anything they would act quite affronted. That's gaslighting. Call them on it. Eventually they will get the idea you aren't their punching bag. I avoided a lot of contact felt relieved. Sorry for those being put through it.
"I'm not here to make friends" aka. I made it to level 1 manager and f with anyone trying to do the right thing.
Blaming family members for how their life turned out because they made choices that NEVER benefited their future.
Of course, there's also the classic "I'm not ____, but..." Also, the ones who are sickly sweet to the point of being poisonous. You find this particularly in the southern US. I've seen people who'll smile while they stab you in the back. Literally, if they thought they could get away with it.
Is it my imagination, or is every single one of these a description of trump?
#31 When they make every f*****g thing political
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