Woman Upset She Doesn’t Get To Do Anything Special In Husband’s Sister’s Wedding, Despite Her Being A Huge Bully To Sister Back In The Day
The history of mankind knows lots of wise sayings literally for any possible occasion. For example, one piece of wisdom says that you need to forgive those who offended you – especially if they sincerely repented. Other wisdom says that revenge is a meal best served cold.
Unfortunately, we have not been able to find the wisdom that would advise us what to do if two pieces of life advice literally contradict each other, so we will have to make up our own minds about the characters in this story. Like, keep your friends close and your bullies at a distance so they don’t get anything to do at your wedding.
It was shared on the AITA Reddit community, and the original post got over 11.5K upvotes, as well as nearly 1.7K miscellaneous comments. By the way, this narrative itself is another confirmation of how whimsical life can be.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster decided to make her brother her fiance’s groomsman in her upcoming wedding
Image credits: freeflight046 (not the actual image)
So, the Original Poster is about to get married and has decided to invite her own brother as a groomsman. Quite a logical solution and, it would seem, what is the problem here? But there is, and it’s a considerable one – the fact is that the brother’s wife, Gemma, studied in the same school with the OP as a child and turned her school years into a real nightmare.
Image credits: u/PrincessBridley21
Her brother is married to the OP’s former classmate who used to bully her constantly in the past
As Gemma herself later admitted in a conversation with the OP, she had big problems in her family, which she took out on a poor classmate. Gemma constantly insulted the OP, mocked and teased her, played big and small dirty tricks, eventually bringing the girl to a nervous breakdown.
Moreover, due to constant panic attacks, OP finally finished high school at home, and doctors later diagnosed her with depressive disorder.
Image credits: u/PrincessBridley21
After facing a lot of mental problems, Gemma ended up trying to become a better person
We must say that Gemma’s own problems also did not go away, and a few years after graduation, everything ended up with a breakdown. The OP’s brother met the woman some time later, when she was working hard to be a better person, realizing her own shortcomings. They started dating and then got married.
Image credits: John Benson ( not the actual image)
Then, four years ago, the OP was shocked by the very fact of the marriage of her brother and Gemma, taking it almost as a betrayal. True, Gemma must be given credit – she found the strength to talk to the OP, admit that she acted like a jerk, and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Formally, the women reconciled, but the OP still understood that they would never be close.
Image credits: u/PrincessBridley21
The OP refused to invite Gemma as her bridesmaid and her brother was extremely offended with this decision
And so, when the wedding was approaching, the OP reluctantly invited Gemma, but as an ordinary guest, nothing more. Her brother, having learned about this, was extremely offended and said that Gemma should be a bridesmaid – otherwise they show her that she is not a member of the family.
Image credits: u/PrincessBridley21
Only OP’s father stood up for her as the family called her out
The man was supported by the OP’s mother, while the father stood up for his daughter, stating that after what Gemma had done in the past, even taking her apology into account, she should be grateful that she was invited at all. As a result, as the OP notes, her dad also fell into disgrace with the rest of the family.
Image credits: micadew (not the actual image)
Commenters told the OP that it’s up to her and her fiance only to decide to whom to give roles in their wedding
However, people in the comments massively defended the OP, emphasizing that this, after all, is her own wedding, and it is up to her and her fiancé to decide who will be given roles at the ceremony and who will not. They also supported the OP’s father as the only, apparently, understanding person in the whole big family.
As for Gemma, even taking into account her sincere repentance and apologies, if she really became a better person, she should realize that she’s unlikely to be able to establish relations with the OP, whom she had harmed so much in the past. Commenters hope that Gemma would understand this.
We also hope that you will not refrain from commenting to express your opinion about this narrative. After all, a wise man once said that commenting on a post is a meal best served anytime.
Forgiveness doesn't mean the perpetrator doesn't have to pay the consequences of their actions. She hasnt earned OP's trust so therefore she can stew in her non-bridemaid role and maybe that'll contribute to her becoming a better person. Atoning for bullying takes work and pain.
Oh Honey, your wedding just gained extra seats to invite maybe your favourite barista, and work colleagues you're friendly with. So much extra space. Love your dad! Take him, let him walk you down the isle and leave out anybody who has an issue with Your Decision on Your Wedding day. You deserve better, and part of becoming an adult is to understand that family doesn't mean good people who love you unconditionally and support you, most of us have toxic families, understand you can cut ties and not feel bad. Choose.your circle.wisely, otherwise you will be pulled through that c**p all your life reminding you of your bad decision, and unfriendly attitude towards brother's wife. I cancelled my whole wedding because of this, and cut out everyone except mom. Still together, but a lot happier. I am zero contact, mom doesn't discuss me, and as far as the family is concerned I died 2010. Make your life yours!- at the end of the path you will regret giving time and space to the undeserving
Given your "parents'" dad AND mom sent you to a different school to avoid the bullying and support you while the pain lessen and recovered, I'm baffled by your mom's stand on this. That woman played stupid games and got stupid prizes, one of which is the consequences of non-forgiveness at this moment. No 'girl' envisions her big day as being pushed into giving in to an unreasonable interaction. The better woman would 'know' to stay home while 'supporting' the family. The time is always right to do the right thing. It may be the way to bring unity to the family. My dil is a beast to me, I do not go to visit her and my son 13 hours away with the rest of the family. Silence can't be misquoted nor can poor behavior be criticized. (she projects everything I do as being 'wrong') .
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She was invited to the wedding (which costs money) and brother and wife she be grateful for that much of a compromise, I honestly can't say I'd be so generous considering the history there. That (former bully) should offer to pay for some of OP's therapy considering how much she contributed to damaging her mental health!
Forgiveness doesn't mean the perpetrator doesn't have to pay the consequences of their actions. She hasnt earned OP's trust so therefore she can stew in her non-bridemaid role and maybe that'll contribute to her becoming a better person. Atoning for bullying takes work and pain.
Oh Honey, your wedding just gained extra seats to invite maybe your favourite barista, and work colleagues you're friendly with. So much extra space. Love your dad! Take him, let him walk you down the isle and leave out anybody who has an issue with Your Decision on Your Wedding day. You deserve better, and part of becoming an adult is to understand that family doesn't mean good people who love you unconditionally and support you, most of us have toxic families, understand you can cut ties and not feel bad. Choose.your circle.wisely, otherwise you will be pulled through that c**p all your life reminding you of your bad decision, and unfriendly attitude towards brother's wife. I cancelled my whole wedding because of this, and cut out everyone except mom. Still together, but a lot happier. I am zero contact, mom doesn't discuss me, and as far as the family is concerned I died 2010. Make your life yours!- at the end of the path you will regret giving time and space to the undeserving
Given your "parents'" dad AND mom sent you to a different school to avoid the bullying and support you while the pain lessen and recovered, I'm baffled by your mom's stand on this. That woman played stupid games and got stupid prizes, one of which is the consequences of non-forgiveness at this moment. No 'girl' envisions her big day as being pushed into giving in to an unreasonable interaction. The better woman would 'know' to stay home while 'supporting' the family. The time is always right to do the right thing. It may be the way to bring unity to the family. My dil is a beast to me, I do not go to visit her and my son 13 hours away with the rest of the family. Silence can't be misquoted nor can poor behavior be criticized. (she projects everything I do as being 'wrong') .
Load More Replies... She was invited to the wedding (which costs money) and brother and wife she be grateful for that much of a compromise, I honestly can't say I'd be so generous considering the history there. That (former bully) should offer to pay for some of OP's therapy considering how much she contributed to damaging her mental health!
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