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Woman Perfectly Explains ‘Not All Men’ With One Powerful Analogy So They Can Finally Understand It
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Woman Perfectly Explains ‘Not All Men’ With One Powerful Analogy So They Can Finally Understand It

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After Sarah Everard’s tragic disappearance in the United Kingdom, women have been tackling important topics such as safety on the streets and putting a stop to harassment. Naturally, some men have come out in support while some others have pointed out that it’s ‘not all men’ who are putting them at risk.

However, Prithika Chowdhury gave some illustrative analogies in her viral TikTok video about how it’s not about ‘not all men’; the debate is about how there’s ‘enough’ or ‘too many men’ who are putting women at risk. Have a scroll down to watch her full video and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section.

In an interview with Bored Panda, Prithika opened up how she has been sexually assaulted before, just like many other women. She wanted to draw attention to this in her video, as well as to show men why women have to be cautious around them. “I created those analogies in hopes that the boys would understand. Of course, the analogy wasn’t meant for all men and men only, it was to spread awareness and to say we can’t trust anybody 100%.”

More info: TikTok | Instagram

The woman pointed out that not all men are bad, but enough of them are to make some women afraid of walking alone at night. You can watch her full video here

@prithika.chowdhuryword of the day: ENOUGH ##fyp ##foryou ##foryoupage♬ original sound – rin

Part-time influencer Prithika’s video was viewed a whopping 1.1 million times. It also got over 433.4k likes, was reshared over 21.5k times, and got people talking, with over 8.8k comments having been left underneath the video.

The TikToker told Bored Panda that she is a big believer in communication and dialogue as ways to make the world a better place. “In my opinion, I believe if we listen to both perspectives—see both sides—we can most likely resolve most of the world’s problems. However, we all know the world can never be perfect. All we can do is cope.”

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Prithika said that as a TikTok creator, most of her videos are comedic. She aims to make her audience laugh. However, she uses her platform to raise awareness, too. “Hopefully, I can change the perspectives of my audience as well, to talk about many problems surrounding the world.”

Meanwhile, Bored Panda also spoke about what men can do to help make women feel safer, less anxious, and to show that they’re their allies with Jorge Arteaga, the deputy director of ‘Hollaback!’, an organization dedicated to eradicating harassment in all of its forms.

The influencer used several creative examples to get her point across

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Arteaga was upfront that men have to be true allies. That means putting the needs of those at risk or in danger above your own desire to save the day.

“When you see violence or harassment remember to focus on safety and on helping the person who is experiencing the harm, or harassment. Don’t escalate the situation, you want to be clear and concise about what they’re doing, why it’s wrong, and what you want them to do to stop,” the deputy director of ‘Hollaback!’ explained to us.

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Arteaga gave us an example of what men could say to the person harassing someone: “‘You are being inappropriate and are making them feel uncomfortable, please step away from them,’ and then turn to the person to make sure they are ok.”

He suggested that they don’t engage with the person doing the harassing or harm. “Now, for some men, they may feel wary approaching the situation or being direct because they may not want the woman to perceive them as also trying to harm them. That is understandable, and that is why you should always assess the scenario to find out what the best way to support is. Don’t get caught up in saving the day and focus on supporting the person being harmed,” Arteaga warned.
Living is in and of itself a risky business. You’re never ever completely safe wherever you might be or whoever you might be: there’s always a metaphorical crocodile around while you’re fishing. There will never come a time when everyone’s a saint. Accepting the reality that the world can be a dangerous place and that there are lots of bad people out there (not just good ones), as well as taking the necessary precautions to live it to the fullest seems preferable to waiting for the entire world to change on its own.

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try and change things for the better (we absolutely should!), but we also can’t cling to the belief that there will be a ‘perfect’ time when there are no villains whatsoever, no matter their gender. The risk will always be there; the question is, what are we prepared to do to reduce it so that everyone feels safer? And are we prepared to support those in need of it?

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This is how some TikTok users have been reacting to the viral video after it was posted

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tracysellars avatar
Tracy Sellars
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay to the guys who are having issues with this post. You are right the majority of guys are good, but I can guarantee you would be hard pressed to find a woman who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones or thought she was about to. Remember this is the 21st century and we as women can decide for ourselves if we think guys are not treating us right. You do not get to make that choice for us.

doggofroggo avatar
Doggo Froggo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, my experiences (being grabbed in a shop at age 12, having my top looked down, being catcalled etc etc) have made me wary of all males from about the age of 16 and over. You can earn my trust and I will not brand you as one of the bad men unless you give me reason to but I will still be wary of you until you prove by actions that I can trust you.

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pauldavis avatar
Paul Davis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an older, unattractive, middle-aged man it is extremely lonely and humiliating to constantly be treated like a potential creep and rapist. To have to cross the road to get away from women so that I'm not intimidating them. To have to move and look pointedly away from strange women so they don't assume I'm creeping on them. But I'm pretty sure it's even less fun for women to have to fear getting molested, raped or murdered by some entitled, sociopathic piece of garbage.

priyabuccheit avatar
Tara Ray
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG THANK YOU for actually understanding!!!!!!! Some of you “men” need to read this!

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dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem with the "not all men" attitude isn't about "how many men" mathematically. The problem is about the reaction. If the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive? Someone just confessed something terrible that happened, and instead of showing empathy, learn and spread the knowledge, you go "not all men". THAT was what it's really about, let's not lose focus.

simonkwan_facebook avatar
Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of the "Not all men" folks are the same as the "All lives matter" folks. Instead of compassionately acknowledging the validity and immediacy of the people who are saying they're afraid and need support, they aggressively assert plausible deniability and dilute the impact of the message. They resent the implicit accusation because they know they too closely resemble the problem.

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unicorn_5 avatar
Gissel Escudero
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I use the dog comparison. If more than one random dog has ever bitten you, you beware of ALL dogs until you find out if they're harmless or not. It doesn't mean you hate dogs. It doesn't mean either you think all dogs are dangerous. You're just being cautious because there's a real possibility of a dog attacking you for some reason or no reason whatsoever. That's it. (And no, I'm not comparing men to dogs. I'm comparing SITUATIONS.)

lucig79 avatar
LuciGamer
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could someone please explain, why its ok with dogs or men but not ok with black people or muslims etc.? I have bad experiences with some people too, how so sometimes it is understandable to act on it and sometimes not?

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brendanroberts avatar
Brendan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand her point. For example, I know the chances of me being hit by a car is slim, but there are enough road accidents to prompt me to look both ways before crossing the road. However, I have issues with the phrase 'too many'. I find it misleading and highly-provocative. Although 'too many' doesn't refer to a certain amount, I think it makes people picture a high amount.

ariawhitaker avatar
Aria Whitaker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not misleading at all. It seems like you are letting your feelings about the term cloud the actual meaning of it. There ARE too many men who are exploitative and make women feel afraid. How in the world is that "misleading"? And what do you consider a "high amount"? 10% of men? 20%? Even 1% is still MILLIONS of men. It seems you do get her point, but are still a bit defensive about the topic.

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kathrynbaylis_2 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And guys, FFS don’t start thinking that stepping in and helping a woman who’s being harassed automatically means she “owes” you for it, or is immediately going to fall in love with you. It doesn’t work that way, and thinking like that makes you even worse than the other guy who was harassing her, because you essentially tricked her by giving her a false sense of security with you. Look up the word “altruism”, absorb its meaning completely, and let it be your mantra. Otherwise, you’re an even creepier perv than the “basic” harasser.

nukkasihti avatar
Asswipe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro. You don't have to tell this to decent person. And if you are telling that to a creep who drove away his competion you are wasting your time. Creeps have very little capability to empathy and can't understand altruism either.

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obeselukas avatar
Obese Lukas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly this comment section is kinda scary - so many women who hate men it's sad. Especially all the dislikes on any comment that compares it to racism, are the dislikers blind or just incredibly hypocritical? I guess it's hard when somebody prefers to be right instead of finding the truth...

jarrodnichols avatar
Jarrod Nichols
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally the argument racist people use to discriminate. Not all blacks are bad...

obeselukas avatar
Obese Lukas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hypocrisy at it's finest, what do you want, you're at BP, a place where it's welcome to openly hate men haha (but see what happens if you decide to hate on a race or on women... :-D )

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rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some men actually believe that rapists are sleazy scruffy guys in old raincoats who lurk in bushes and they're easy to spot. No, some are ordinary looking men who seem respectable. Like the two "nice boys" from "good homes" who murdered a prostitute in Regina SK, Canada back in the 90s.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sexual abusers are sometimes female as well. People need to stop acting like men are the only ones that people legitimately fear.

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erichch83 avatar
Erich H.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if you have a race of people that have committed historically racist acts and intentionally and directly attributed to the oppression of another race, and from that race the female gender has a history of falsely accusing the males of other said race of rape which resulted in executions and killings of the most grotesque manner I , as a member of oppressed race, should then view all white women as possible false accusers that could end my life at the hands of the white officers and white males which I should then also assume a level of apprehension with all white men? I mean enough white people have done and continue to exhibit such behavior that all white people must be possible enemies? Thanks for clearing that up.

iapetosdertitan avatar
Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Lol I'm pretty sure black women are afraid of you also. You don't sound very empathetic.

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jamyirogers1990 avatar
Duchess Raven Waves
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont think the message could be more clear. We are afraid because we have a reason to be. Don't be angry that we are afraid. We did not ask to be frightened. Deal with our fear because we certainly have to endure it.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is that any different than someone saying "we are afraid of black people because we have reason to be"? Why do people act like fearing someone based on their race is wrong, but fearing someone based on their gender is okay?

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shapirorita avatar
Rita Shapiro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those of us who are older spent our formative and young adult years just taking whatever happened to us, putting the trauma in a box, and hiding it on a top shelf in a closet. I applaud young women taking back their right to feel safe by having this conversation, because it's painfully clear that the old way of "handling" the problem (everyone just ignore it! boys will be boys! you must have been asking for it!) was stunningly ineffective.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rita the problem is them making negative generalizations about men. If someone told you "I fear black people because you can never tell which one is a criminal" I think you'd call them a racist. How is that any different than the people who say "I fear men because you can never tell which one is a rapist".

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d_pitbull avatar
D. Pitbull
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "Not All Men" - the big problem I find with this - is that this sounds like it's trying to support that "some men being creepy and dangerous is totally okay and expected". The whole attitude is not only dismissing the issue but is actually enforcing the "y'all should be okay with it happening some of the time because we're not all like that". THAT is a big stonkin' deal. The creepers and the abusers know this too. They get it that as long as this "well not all men" attitude continues they can probably get away with what they're doing because it's still going to be allowed to slide "sometimes".

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that this is the exact same argument that racists use "Not all black people are bad, but enough of them are that we need to be cautious around them". If it is wrong to make negative assumptions about someone based on race, then why isn't the same true based on gender.

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petarlazic avatar
Pezor Zass
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i wish it were possible to actually discuss these issues with people. i usually get jumped on by both sides when i try to say anything about it. Nobody is willing to actually listen anymore (if they ever were, i'm not sure about that). my only hope is that attitudes are changing and that as fewer problematic people do bad things to others, others will become less fearful in time. maybe at some point we'll be reasonable, but i'm not holding my breath.

samyobado avatar
Sam Yobado
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All violence against women is unacceptable. Full stop. Her analogies are very hyperbolic. 3 doors and one will kill you. Women murdered by men worldwide is about 250 a day. Yes, way too high, but it is the equivalent of having 16 million doors to choose from every day when one will kill you.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women commit violence against men as well. It's stupid to treat the issue as if only men are dangerous.

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mdulbergsdesigns avatar
Explicitly sick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Enough men that there is not one patch of ground on this planet that a woman feels the complete safety a man would. Enough men that every woman I know has her keys between her fingers . Enough men that every woman keeps an eye on her drink. Enough men that the #1 cause of pregnant deaths is murder

8bf49ca1b0 avatar
lame article
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what world you live in where men feel this "complete safety". Sexual assault against men is only around 50% of what women experience and men are more likely to be the victim of physical assault and murder by a wide margin. Men still worry about getting mugged in an empty parking lot too. Guns and knives don't care about muscles and testosterone. Edit: Since this ridiculous website only lets me reply to certain comments, the point that room-temperature IQ Tara missed was that I was responding to the idea of men feeling safe. Who is committing the crimes isn't relevant to arguing against the idea that men feel safe, it's relevant to the original discussion the article is about where other people have easily pointed out you can make the same fear-mongering statements about races, religions, nationalities, etc which everyone else gets called xenophobic, misogynistic or racist for. Once you do it against men though it's magically not sexist. The stats I referenced are easily verifiable if you have any capability to search for them yourself, I'm not going to do your homework for you.

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el_dee_1 avatar
El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this should definitely get some more publicity and should be explained to young boys so they really get it. As for the interventions I don't know, it can be really dangerous to intervene (depending on the situation)

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine how she would react if someone said "not all black people are criminals, but enough of them are that white people feel afraid to be around them." Why is it that she is willing to stereotype men, but she wouldn't want people stereotyping her because she's black?

cassfalcon avatar
Falcon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great, now I never want to hear 'not all Muslims' now either. Because of this solid logic.

jh789273 avatar
Jalen Hutchinson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a black man, I absolutely love when people treat me like a criminal. When they avoid me, assume the worst out of me, and profile me for how I was born. But it typically isnt because i'm black. Oh no, that would be bigotry. No, it is typically for being male. And profiling me, ultimately leading to systematic inequality, is socially acceptable if it happens to me for being male. #feminism And, yes. Systematic misandry. "After controlling for the arrest offense, criminal history, and other prior characteristics, "men receive 63% longer sentences on average than women do," and "[w]omen are…twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted." This gender gap is about six times as large as the racial disparity that Prof. Starr found in another recent paper." https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx

blaasdf2 avatar
Hugo Raible
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are enough bad men. There are enough bad women. There are enough bad Christians. There are enough bad Muslims. There are enough bad straight people. There are enough bad gay people. There are enough bad white people. There are enough bad black people. . And there is apparently no loss of nonsense arguments and sexist cherry picking as displayed in this tiktok video.

pusheenbuttercup avatar
pusheen buttercup
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to add: I have no problem with this post, I just want to remind people that women can be dangerous too. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you're safe. Everyone watch out for yourselves! :)

login0telefon avatar
Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and I see lots of people with reasonable argument being downvoted to oblivion... you crazy insecure princesses on this website are truly worse than a plague

kidsnurse avatar
Lisa Larson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she's afraid of men, so what? Most men are wonderful, fine, upstanding, chivalrous and great to be around. You could turn this around and have a guy saying the EXACT SAME THING about women and he would be 100% RIGHT. But they would call him "sexist". You could turn this around and have a white person saying this about blacks (that would be racist). You could turn this around and have a black person saying it about whites (that would also be racist). You could turn this around and have a straight person saying it about any LGBTQ person. You could turn this around and have an LGBTQ person say this about straight people. You could turn this around and have anyone say it about any other group of people and they would be right. This is insulting to men AND women. Just because that specific woman had / has a problem with men doesn't mean the MEN are the problem. Perhaps SHE is the problem.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The analogy of the cheesecakes is incorrect, you cannot get diabetes from eating sugar, this is a popular misconception and it is wrong and dangerous to be spreading this kind of misinformation.

david_smojver avatar
Dave
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same analogy could be applied to women. Not all women, but enough of them that I will never trust them 100%. Her point as good as it is, also sounds sexist and judgemental as f**k. In my view, she falls in the "enough women" category. I was betrayed, cheated on, even stalked and would have gone down the road of false sexual assault accusation if I would not have started a diary, supported by facts and witnesses to establish the pattern of her behaviour, which saved my ass. I also had to report her to the authorities for stalking. The looks I got. Since I was a man, I cannot be stalked. The predjudice was obnoxious, especially from women. Looking back, I was lucky that I was smart enough to take precautionary steps. But regardless, when such accusations are spread, regardless if they are true or not, it destroys lives. Women who falsely accuse for sexual assault should be punished just as severely as the predators who do attack women. Don't even let me get started on many cases, where they cheated, got preagnant and stuck the BF / Husband with somebody elses child or babby trapped a guy. The list goes on. Men are no inocents of course, but women are no better either. Just sneakier.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are so many so upset that women are cautious? How offended can you be that total strangers don't trust you on sight? How many total strangers do YOU trust on sight? or even classmates, co-workers, acquaintances? Family? I don't expect to be trusted on sight. Or on slight acquaintance. Or even long acquaintance. Trust takes time. And, yes, we may have reasons to be reallllly slow to trust. I'm gonna be ignored or downvoted, fine, but just someone finally tell me why we're expected to trust everyone/anyone on sight? And if you answer "so nobody's feelings get hurt"... I hope you realize how privileged you are to live in a world where that's the biggest problem.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that while people understand that it is wrong to automatically fear someone just because they are black, many of these same people don't seem to understand that it is wrong to automatically fear someone just because they are a man. Why is it that people understand that racism is wrong, but not sexism?

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lunanik avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some commenters are missing the point entirely. Yes, it's not all men. However, as women, we don't have a choice but to behave as if it IS all men, because THERE'S NO WAY TO TELL which men are creeps and which are ok. It's not like y'all wear labels. I spent an hour one evening chatting with a man who seemed to be quite nice...until he suddenly began saying—in the most pornographic of terms—what he wanted to do to parts of my body. After an hour of civilized conversation. WTF?

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone said to you "There is no way to tell which black people are criminals, so we should fear them all", how would you react? If you'd call them racist, how is that any different from the way you are reacting toward men? You just replaces racism with sexism.

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musicmania_1 avatar
Music Mania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of men in this comment section need to realize it is more than physical violence or sexual assault that women have to be afraid of. Even the "nice guys" get lumped in here because many don't know when to just walk away from a conversation. Or when to stop calling. They don't see that "just being helpful" or a "gentleman" is threatening to a lot of women. They don't intervene, even with their friends, who are being overly aggressive trying to get a number/flirting, or when men force "compliments" to be heard and appreciated.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Music Mania, if someone said to you "I fear black people because you don't know which one is a criminal", I think you'd call them racist. Why is it so hard for people to understand that saying "I fear men because you don't know which one is a rapist" is the exact same bigoted mindset?

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mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course it won’t help their understanding. They are perpetual victims. She is right but the sexist men who whine and say “but it isn’t meeeeee” are just refusing to see that it’s way too many men and that women are right.

login0telefon avatar
Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yall forgetting that all these men were raised by women... women just like you... and you will raise another generations of men like that because your attitude is not gonna make anything better

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rosahughes avatar
Rosa Hekatena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men, if you’re angry about being treated with caution by women, remember that the problem causing this comes from within yourselves, not the women. Good men need to educate their fellow men, and weed out negative behaviours.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rosa, how would you feel if someone said "black people, if you're angry about being treated with caution by white people, remember that the problem causing this comes from within yourselves, not white people. Good black people need to educate their fellow black people and weed out negative behaviors". If you understand why that's racist, then why can't you understand how what you are saying is sexist?

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violet-bischoff avatar
frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's literally the same argument that racist people use to treat blacks as dangerous. Why is it okay for her to treat men as a threat when she wouldn't want people treating black people as a threat?

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lakithatolbert avatar
lakitha tolbert
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NOT ALL MEN ARE BAD, BUT EVERY WOMAN HAS MET AT LEAST ONE! I like to use the candy bowl analogy. I hand you a bowl of little chocolate candies, that look fine, but I inform you that at least one, and possibly as many as half, are have cyanide that will kill you! Would you eat any? It don’t need to be all men!

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's like saying "not all black people are bad, but every white person has met at least one bad black person". If you can understand why that is racist, then why can't you understand what you said is sexist?

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dylanacker avatar
frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She made the exact same argument that racists do "Well, not all black people are bad, but some are so we should fear them all just in case". The fact that she made it about men rather than blacks doesn't make it better.

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bloatednoone avatar
qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amount of people in the comments who make this about race when it is really about violence and sexual harassment against women is depressing.

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Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ok, so by her logic - she's black... enough of black people are criminals to make me concern... so I guess she wouldn't mind if I discriminate the s**t out of her

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are determined to not get it, aren't you? I am sorry you think that being a racist is okay b/c you disagree that women feel cautious around men.

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yettichild avatar
Yettichild
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suppose you could compare the IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) that women do to all men like an antivirus program. Most files (Men) are safe, but there are plenty of viruses, spyware and malwear to want to scan all files. it's something so ingrained into us that it runs in the background. Say you see a guy in the store, he is 'scanned' for suspicious behavior, and put into either a 'safe' or 'unsafe' category. This category could change at any time based on subsequent behavior. Like the creepy dude who followed me around in a store two weeks ago, then tried to follow me home. He even followed me through a fast food drive thru. He only stopped when I pulled into a police station parking lot. My first move was to leave the danger area (store). My next move was to go somewhere I thought he wouldn't follow me (drive thru), then I started collecting info on him (vehicle details, plate# etc), next I went somewhere safe (police station) 1/2

yettichild avatar
Yettichild
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So in computer terms, I did a quick scan, identified a potentially dangerous file, isolated it then got rid of it. Hope this helps explain. 2/2

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Justin Bohner
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So women are not equal to men because women are weaker than men and fear men. Got it. Thanks, Chowdhury.

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B Jones
Community Member
3 years ago

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Us men will never understand. If someone said here are three hot women. One will make you life a living hell. We would say "can I sleep with all three"

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be safe, I asked my husband, and he said, "Only if a man is between 15 and 20 would he say that", so.... I think maybe you need to realize not all males are walking penises. I survived a rape and know that. Just sayin'.

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JESSE REED
Community Member
3 years ago

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This argument justifies any form of discrimination or prejudice

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

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Only if you’re a piece of shít who doesn’t care about women and wants to discriminate against other groups.

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Jarrod Nelson
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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I agree... toxic/abusive men are just as rare as doors that instantly cause death, getting eaten by an alligator while fishing, or the chance of being handed a piece of poisoned cheesecake. Bravo, your explanation is garbage. All women think like this.

bloatednoone avatar
qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps toxic/abusive men are rare, but women who have been treated poorly by these toxic/abusive men are not.

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Laura Craig
Community Member
3 years ago

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This is the exact same argument that ideots used to use to justify racism. "I know not ALL black people are X, but...."

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Shelby Rinck
Community Member
3 years ago

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Excuse me, but you could replace the word "Men" with any other division of humanity and the point would still be valid.

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Mi Shield
Community Member
3 years ago

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Ok... Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like this is saying that if one man in the world is a bad guy then that makes women hate all men?

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you misunderstood. First of all, nobody is talking about "hate" at all. Women are not "hating" men. Even women that have been victim of abuse do not "hate ALL men". But it is a sad fact that there are men out there who are dangerous. Men who cannot believe that you do not fancy them, men who do not accept no as an answer, men who simply do not care and take whatever they like. (And yes, there are crazy women out there, too!!) Of course it is not ALL men, by far the most are decent guys but unfortunately this is not written on their face! And if you ever meet only one of this wrong kind it can lead to all sorts of violence, abuse, rape or even death. All the decent men that now feel hurt and under some kind of false general accusation and claim "but it is not ALL men" simply fail to understand that women do not come with some kind of built-in radar that tells them who is a good guy and who is a bad guy. It is not against men in general, we would just rather be safe than sorry!

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Requiem
Community Member
3 years ago

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It was enough doors seeing as how there were only Three of them in this "world" to now have anxiety and be afraid of All doors.

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John Louis
Community Member
3 years ago

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Her logic is EXTREMELY FLAWED!!!! If one guy out there is dangerous women should be afraid of all of them. I supposed that means that if there is even the slightest chance I might get into a car wreck I should never get into an automobile.

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago

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Truth Monster
Community Member
3 years ago

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This argument is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. Not all Muslims are terrorists, but ENOUGH Muslims are terrorists to justify discrimination. And when they protest how its unfair, you tell them they are on the hook for every nut job who ever claimed to be Muslim. Or discrimination against black people is warranted because ENOUGH of them are criminals. Yeah. Its not cool to discriminate. Don't do it.

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Evil Little Thing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHO data says 1 in 3 women globally are the victims of violence and/or sexual assault by men. But yeah, let's make sure we aren't being unfair to men.

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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This whole "men are terrible" thing is getting out of hand. Hear me out... I am NOT saying that there are no issues that need to be addressed, and that some men need to behave better. But saying that you wouldn't go near any men because of some bad men? Does she have a father, uncles, grandpa, cousins? Does she avoid them? Also, this lady is clearly misled... I fish, and I fish in ponds and lakes with alligators - they hang around some of those ponds because there are big fish. People know they can die from smoking, and yet they smoke. People take risks all the time, because there is a thrill in "cheating death." This post makes me shake my head.

laugh avatar
Laugh or not
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, we can't and shouldn't avoid all men. However, we try not to be alone when travelling, we warn each other of some men, we learn from infancy to not leave our drinks unattended, that if we go to a party we must leave together, to not answer catcalls and walk faster... There are so many behaviours that are dictated not because we want them, but because there are "enough men" that would hurt us. And it looks like her explanation was not dumb down enough.

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Requiem
Community Member
3 years ago

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Ya saying you have an 80% chance of surviving poisoned cheesecake and refusing all of them is the same as people complaining about the .01% chance of adverse effects from Vaccines, still 99.9

fropen avatar
Frank Ropen
Community Member
3 years ago

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If all cheesecakes one is poisonous, would you eat one? Probably no. So one is enough to never eat cheesecake again. And cheesecake is not a human being with feelings. So it's wrong to call trans people by the wrong pronoun but it's ok to predjude men by a minority of them?

tracysellars avatar
Tracy Sellars
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay to the guys who are having issues with this post. You are right the majority of guys are good, but I can guarantee you would be hard pressed to find a woman who has not had an encounter with one of the bad ones or thought she was about to. Remember this is the 21st century and we as women can decide for ourselves if we think guys are not treating us right. You do not get to make that choice for us.

doggofroggo avatar
Doggo Froggo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, my experiences (being grabbed in a shop at age 12, having my top looked down, being catcalled etc etc) have made me wary of all males from about the age of 16 and over. You can earn my trust and I will not brand you as one of the bad men unless you give me reason to but I will still be wary of you until you prove by actions that I can trust you.

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pauldavis avatar
Paul Davis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an older, unattractive, middle-aged man it is extremely lonely and humiliating to constantly be treated like a potential creep and rapist. To have to cross the road to get away from women so that I'm not intimidating them. To have to move and look pointedly away from strange women so they don't assume I'm creeping on them. But I'm pretty sure it's even less fun for women to have to fear getting molested, raped or murdered by some entitled, sociopathic piece of garbage.

priyabuccheit avatar
Tara Ray
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG THANK YOU for actually understanding!!!!!!! Some of you “men” need to read this!

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dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem with the "not all men" attitude isn't about "how many men" mathematically. The problem is about the reaction. If the story of the villain isn't about you, why are you jumping to the defensive? Someone just confessed something terrible that happened, and instead of showing empathy, learn and spread the knowledge, you go "not all men". THAT was what it's really about, let's not lose focus.

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of the "Not all men" folks are the same as the "All lives matter" folks. Instead of compassionately acknowledging the validity and immediacy of the people who are saying they're afraid and need support, they aggressively assert plausible deniability and dilute the impact of the message. They resent the implicit accusation because they know they too closely resemble the problem.

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Gissel Escudero
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I use the dog comparison. If more than one random dog has ever bitten you, you beware of ALL dogs until you find out if they're harmless or not. It doesn't mean you hate dogs. It doesn't mean either you think all dogs are dangerous. You're just being cautious because there's a real possibility of a dog attacking you for some reason or no reason whatsoever. That's it. (And no, I'm not comparing men to dogs. I'm comparing SITUATIONS.)

lucig79 avatar
LuciGamer
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could someone please explain, why its ok with dogs or men but not ok with black people or muslims etc.? I have bad experiences with some people too, how so sometimes it is understandable to act on it and sometimes not?

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Brendan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand her point. For example, I know the chances of me being hit by a car is slim, but there are enough road accidents to prompt me to look both ways before crossing the road. However, I have issues with the phrase 'too many'. I find it misleading and highly-provocative. Although 'too many' doesn't refer to a certain amount, I think it makes people picture a high amount.

ariawhitaker avatar
Aria Whitaker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not misleading at all. It seems like you are letting your feelings about the term cloud the actual meaning of it. There ARE too many men who are exploitative and make women feel afraid. How in the world is that "misleading"? And what do you consider a "high amount"? 10% of men? 20%? Even 1% is still MILLIONS of men. It seems you do get her point, but are still a bit defensive about the topic.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And guys, FFS don’t start thinking that stepping in and helping a woman who’s being harassed automatically means she “owes” you for it, or is immediately going to fall in love with you. It doesn’t work that way, and thinking like that makes you even worse than the other guy who was harassing her, because you essentially tricked her by giving her a false sense of security with you. Look up the word “altruism”, absorb its meaning completely, and let it be your mantra. Otherwise, you’re an even creepier perv than the “basic” harasser.

nukkasihti avatar
Asswipe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro. You don't have to tell this to decent person. And if you are telling that to a creep who drove away his competion you are wasting your time. Creeps have very little capability to empathy and can't understand altruism either.

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obeselukas avatar
Obese Lukas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly this comment section is kinda scary - so many women who hate men it's sad. Especially all the dislikes on any comment that compares it to racism, are the dislikers blind or just incredibly hypocritical? I guess it's hard when somebody prefers to be right instead of finding the truth...

jarrodnichols avatar
Jarrod Nichols
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally the argument racist people use to discriminate. Not all blacks are bad...

obeselukas avatar
Obese Lukas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hypocrisy at it's finest, what do you want, you're at BP, a place where it's welcome to openly hate men haha (but see what happens if you decide to hate on a race or on women... :-D )

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Seabeast
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some men actually believe that rapists are sleazy scruffy guys in old raincoats who lurk in bushes and they're easy to spot. No, some are ordinary looking men who seem respectable. Like the two "nice boys" from "good homes" who murdered a prostitute in Regina SK, Canada back in the 90s.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sexual abusers are sometimes female as well. People need to stop acting like men are the only ones that people legitimately fear.

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erichch83 avatar
Erich H.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if you have a race of people that have committed historically racist acts and intentionally and directly attributed to the oppression of another race, and from that race the female gender has a history of falsely accusing the males of other said race of rape which resulted in executions and killings of the most grotesque manner I , as a member of oppressed race, should then view all white women as possible false accusers that could end my life at the hands of the white officers and white males which I should then also assume a level of apprehension with all white men? I mean enough white people have done and continue to exhibit such behavior that all white people must be possible enemies? Thanks for clearing that up.

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Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago

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Lol I'm pretty sure black women are afraid of you also. You don't sound very empathetic.

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jamyirogers1990 avatar
Duchess Raven Waves
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont think the message could be more clear. We are afraid because we have a reason to be. Don't be angry that we are afraid. We did not ask to be frightened. Deal with our fear because we certainly have to endure it.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is that any different than someone saying "we are afraid of black people because we have reason to be"? Why do people act like fearing someone based on their race is wrong, but fearing someone based on their gender is okay?

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Rita Shapiro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those of us who are older spent our formative and young adult years just taking whatever happened to us, putting the trauma in a box, and hiding it on a top shelf in a closet. I applaud young women taking back their right to feel safe by having this conversation, because it's painfully clear that the old way of "handling" the problem (everyone just ignore it! boys will be boys! you must have been asking for it!) was stunningly ineffective.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rita the problem is them making negative generalizations about men. If someone told you "I fear black people because you can never tell which one is a criminal" I think you'd call them a racist. How is that any different than the people who say "I fear men because you can never tell which one is a rapist".

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D. Pitbull
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "Not All Men" - the big problem I find with this - is that this sounds like it's trying to support that "some men being creepy and dangerous is totally okay and expected". The whole attitude is not only dismissing the issue but is actually enforcing the "y'all should be okay with it happening some of the time because we're not all like that". THAT is a big stonkin' deal. The creepers and the abusers know this too. They get it that as long as this "well not all men" attitude continues they can probably get away with what they're doing because it's still going to be allowed to slide "sometimes".

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that this is the exact same argument that racists use "Not all black people are bad, but enough of them are that we need to be cautious around them". If it is wrong to make negative assumptions about someone based on race, then why isn't the same true based on gender.

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Pezor Zass
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i wish it were possible to actually discuss these issues with people. i usually get jumped on by both sides when i try to say anything about it. Nobody is willing to actually listen anymore (if they ever were, i'm not sure about that). my only hope is that attitudes are changing and that as fewer problematic people do bad things to others, others will become less fearful in time. maybe at some point we'll be reasonable, but i'm not holding my breath.

samyobado avatar
Sam Yobado
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All violence against women is unacceptable. Full stop. Her analogies are very hyperbolic. 3 doors and one will kill you. Women murdered by men worldwide is about 250 a day. Yes, way too high, but it is the equivalent of having 16 million doors to choose from every day when one will kill you.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women commit violence against men as well. It's stupid to treat the issue as if only men are dangerous.

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mdulbergsdesigns avatar
Explicitly sick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Enough men that there is not one patch of ground on this planet that a woman feels the complete safety a man would. Enough men that every woman I know has her keys between her fingers . Enough men that every woman keeps an eye on her drink. Enough men that the #1 cause of pregnant deaths is murder

8bf49ca1b0 avatar
lame article
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what world you live in where men feel this "complete safety". Sexual assault against men is only around 50% of what women experience and men are more likely to be the victim of physical assault and murder by a wide margin. Men still worry about getting mugged in an empty parking lot too. Guns and knives don't care about muscles and testosterone. Edit: Since this ridiculous website only lets me reply to certain comments, the point that room-temperature IQ Tara missed was that I was responding to the idea of men feeling safe. Who is committing the crimes isn't relevant to arguing against the idea that men feel safe, it's relevant to the original discussion the article is about where other people have easily pointed out you can make the same fear-mongering statements about races, religions, nationalities, etc which everyone else gets called xenophobic, misogynistic or racist for. Once you do it against men though it's magically not sexist. The stats I referenced are easily verifiable if you have any capability to search for them yourself, I'm not going to do your homework for you.

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el_dee_1 avatar
El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this should definitely get some more publicity and should be explained to young boys so they really get it. As for the interventions I don't know, it can be really dangerous to intervene (depending on the situation)

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine how she would react if someone said "not all black people are criminals, but enough of them are that white people feel afraid to be around them." Why is it that she is willing to stereotype men, but she wouldn't want people stereotyping her because she's black?

cassfalcon avatar
Falcon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great, now I never want to hear 'not all Muslims' now either. Because of this solid logic.

jh789273 avatar
Jalen Hutchinson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a black man, I absolutely love when people treat me like a criminal. When they avoid me, assume the worst out of me, and profile me for how I was born. But it typically isnt because i'm black. Oh no, that would be bigotry. No, it is typically for being male. And profiling me, ultimately leading to systematic inequality, is socially acceptable if it happens to me for being male. #feminism And, yes. Systematic misandry. "After controlling for the arrest offense, criminal history, and other prior characteristics, "men receive 63% longer sentences on average than women do," and "[w]omen are…twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted." This gender gap is about six times as large as the racial disparity that Prof. Starr found in another recent paper." https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx

blaasdf2 avatar
Hugo Raible
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are enough bad men. There are enough bad women. There are enough bad Christians. There are enough bad Muslims. There are enough bad straight people. There are enough bad gay people. There are enough bad white people. There are enough bad black people. . And there is apparently no loss of nonsense arguments and sexist cherry picking as displayed in this tiktok video.

pusheenbuttercup avatar
pusheen buttercup
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to add: I have no problem with this post, I just want to remind people that women can be dangerous too. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you're safe. Everyone watch out for yourselves! :)

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Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and I see lots of people with reasonable argument being downvoted to oblivion... you crazy insecure princesses on this website are truly worse than a plague

kidsnurse avatar
Lisa Larson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she's afraid of men, so what? Most men are wonderful, fine, upstanding, chivalrous and great to be around. You could turn this around and have a guy saying the EXACT SAME THING about women and he would be 100% RIGHT. But they would call him "sexist". You could turn this around and have a white person saying this about blacks (that would be racist). You could turn this around and have a black person saying it about whites (that would also be racist). You could turn this around and have a straight person saying it about any LGBTQ person. You could turn this around and have an LGBTQ person say this about straight people. You could turn this around and have anyone say it about any other group of people and they would be right. This is insulting to men AND women. Just because that specific woman had / has a problem with men doesn't mean the MEN are the problem. Perhaps SHE is the problem.

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The analogy of the cheesecakes is incorrect, you cannot get diabetes from eating sugar, this is a popular misconception and it is wrong and dangerous to be spreading this kind of misinformation.

david_smojver avatar
Dave
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same analogy could be applied to women. Not all women, but enough of them that I will never trust them 100%. Her point as good as it is, also sounds sexist and judgemental as f**k. In my view, she falls in the "enough women" category. I was betrayed, cheated on, even stalked and would have gone down the road of false sexual assault accusation if I would not have started a diary, supported by facts and witnesses to establish the pattern of her behaviour, which saved my ass. I also had to report her to the authorities for stalking. The looks I got. Since I was a man, I cannot be stalked. The predjudice was obnoxious, especially from women. Looking back, I was lucky that I was smart enough to take precautionary steps. But regardless, when such accusations are spread, regardless if they are true or not, it destroys lives. Women who falsely accuse for sexual assault should be punished just as severely as the predators who do attack women. Don't even let me get started on many cases, where they cheated, got preagnant and stuck the BF / Husband with somebody elses child or babby trapped a guy. The list goes on. Men are no inocents of course, but women are no better either. Just sneakier.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are so many so upset that women are cautious? How offended can you be that total strangers don't trust you on sight? How many total strangers do YOU trust on sight? or even classmates, co-workers, acquaintances? Family? I don't expect to be trusted on sight. Or on slight acquaintance. Or even long acquaintance. Trust takes time. And, yes, we may have reasons to be reallllly slow to trust. I'm gonna be ignored or downvoted, fine, but just someone finally tell me why we're expected to trust everyone/anyone on sight? And if you answer "so nobody's feelings get hurt"... I hope you realize how privileged you are to live in a world where that's the biggest problem.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is that while people understand that it is wrong to automatically fear someone just because they are black, many of these same people don't seem to understand that it is wrong to automatically fear someone just because they are a man. Why is it that people understand that racism is wrong, but not sexism?

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lunanik avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some commenters are missing the point entirely. Yes, it's not all men. However, as women, we don't have a choice but to behave as if it IS all men, because THERE'S NO WAY TO TELL which men are creeps and which are ok. It's not like y'all wear labels. I spent an hour one evening chatting with a man who seemed to be quite nice...until he suddenly began saying—in the most pornographic of terms—what he wanted to do to parts of my body. After an hour of civilized conversation. WTF?

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone said to you "There is no way to tell which black people are criminals, so we should fear them all", how would you react? If you'd call them racist, how is that any different from the way you are reacting toward men? You just replaces racism with sexism.

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musicmania_1 avatar
Music Mania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of men in this comment section need to realize it is more than physical violence or sexual assault that women have to be afraid of. Even the "nice guys" get lumped in here because many don't know when to just walk away from a conversation. Or when to stop calling. They don't see that "just being helpful" or a "gentleman" is threatening to a lot of women. They don't intervene, even with their friends, who are being overly aggressive trying to get a number/flirting, or when men force "compliments" to be heard and appreciated.

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Music Mania, if someone said to you "I fear black people because you don't know which one is a criminal", I think you'd call them racist. Why is it so hard for people to understand that saying "I fear men because you don't know which one is a rapist" is the exact same bigoted mindset?

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course it won’t help their understanding. They are perpetual victims. She is right but the sexist men who whine and say “but it isn’t meeeeee” are just refusing to see that it’s way too many men and that women are right.

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Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yall forgetting that all these men were raised by women... women just like you... and you will raise another generations of men like that because your attitude is not gonna make anything better

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Rosa Hekatena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men, if you’re angry about being treated with caution by women, remember that the problem causing this comes from within yourselves, not the women. Good men need to educate their fellow men, and weed out negative behaviours.

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Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rosa, how would you feel if someone said "black people, if you're angry about being treated with caution by white people, remember that the problem causing this comes from within yourselves, not white people. Good black people need to educate their fellow black people and weed out negative behaviors". If you understand why that's racist, then why can't you understand how what you are saying is sexist?

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frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's literally the same argument that racist people use to treat blacks as dangerous. Why is it okay for her to treat men as a threat when she wouldn't want people treating black people as a threat?

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lakitha tolbert
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NOT ALL MEN ARE BAD, BUT EVERY WOMAN HAS MET AT LEAST ONE! I like to use the candy bowl analogy. I hand you a bowl of little chocolate candies, that look fine, but I inform you that at least one, and possibly as many as half, are have cyanide that will kill you! Would you eat any? It don’t need to be all men!

frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's like saying "not all black people are bad, but every white person has met at least one bad black person". If you can understand why that is racist, then why can't you understand what you said is sexist?

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frozenwaters456 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She made the exact same argument that racists do "Well, not all black people are bad, but some are so we should fear them all just in case". The fact that she made it about men rather than blacks doesn't make it better.

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qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amount of people in the comments who make this about race when it is really about violence and sexual harassment against women is depressing.

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Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ok, so by her logic - she's black... enough of black people are criminals to make me concern... so I guess she wouldn't mind if I discriminate the s**t out of her

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are determined to not get it, aren't you? I am sorry you think that being a racist is okay b/c you disagree that women feel cautious around men.

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yettichild avatar
Yettichild
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suppose you could compare the IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) that women do to all men like an antivirus program. Most files (Men) are safe, but there are plenty of viruses, spyware and malwear to want to scan all files. it's something so ingrained into us that it runs in the background. Say you see a guy in the store, he is 'scanned' for suspicious behavior, and put into either a 'safe' or 'unsafe' category. This category could change at any time based on subsequent behavior. Like the creepy dude who followed me around in a store two weeks ago, then tried to follow me home. He even followed me through a fast food drive thru. He only stopped when I pulled into a police station parking lot. My first move was to leave the danger area (store). My next move was to go somewhere I thought he wouldn't follow me (drive thru), then I started collecting info on him (vehicle details, plate# etc), next I went somewhere safe (police station) 1/2

yettichild avatar
Yettichild
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So in computer terms, I did a quick scan, identified a potentially dangerous file, isolated it then got rid of it. Hope this helps explain. 2/2

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Justin Bohner
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So women are not equal to men because women are weaker than men and fear men. Got it. Thanks, Chowdhury.

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B Jones
Community Member
3 years ago

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Us men will never understand. If someone said here are three hot women. One will make you life a living hell. We would say "can I sleep with all three"

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be safe, I asked my husband, and he said, "Only if a man is between 15 and 20 would he say that", so.... I think maybe you need to realize not all males are walking penises. I survived a rape and know that. Just sayin'.

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JESSE REED
Community Member
3 years ago

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This argument justifies any form of discrimination or prejudice

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

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Only if you’re a piece of shít who doesn’t care about women and wants to discriminate against other groups.

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Jarrod Nelson
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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I agree... toxic/abusive men are just as rare as doors that instantly cause death, getting eaten by an alligator while fishing, or the chance of being handed a piece of poisoned cheesecake. Bravo, your explanation is garbage. All women think like this.

bloatednoone avatar
qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps toxic/abusive men are rare, but women who have been treated poorly by these toxic/abusive men are not.

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Laura Craig
Community Member
3 years ago

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This is the exact same argument that ideots used to use to justify racism. "I know not ALL black people are X, but...."

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Shelby Rinck
Community Member
3 years ago

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Excuse me, but you could replace the word "Men" with any other division of humanity and the point would still be valid.

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Mi Shield
Community Member
3 years ago

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Ok... Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like this is saying that if one man in the world is a bad guy then that makes women hate all men?

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Yoga Kitty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you misunderstood. First of all, nobody is talking about "hate" at all. Women are not "hating" men. Even women that have been victim of abuse do not "hate ALL men". But it is a sad fact that there are men out there who are dangerous. Men who cannot believe that you do not fancy them, men who do not accept no as an answer, men who simply do not care and take whatever they like. (And yes, there are crazy women out there, too!!) Of course it is not ALL men, by far the most are decent guys but unfortunately this is not written on their face! And if you ever meet only one of this wrong kind it can lead to all sorts of violence, abuse, rape or even death. All the decent men that now feel hurt and under some kind of false general accusation and claim "but it is not ALL men" simply fail to understand that women do not come with some kind of built-in radar that tells them who is a good guy and who is a bad guy. It is not against men in general, we would just rather be safe than sorry!

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Requiem
Community Member
3 years ago

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It was enough doors seeing as how there were only Three of them in this "world" to now have anxiety and be afraid of All doors.

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John Louis
Community Member
3 years ago

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Her logic is EXTREMELY FLAWED!!!! If one guy out there is dangerous women should be afraid of all of them. I supposed that means that if there is even the slightest chance I might get into a car wreck I should never get into an automobile.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago

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Truth Monster
Community Member
3 years ago

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This argument is like saying all Muslims are terrorists. Not all Muslims are terrorists, but ENOUGH Muslims are terrorists to justify discrimination. And when they protest how its unfair, you tell them they are on the hook for every nut job who ever claimed to be Muslim. Or discrimination against black people is warranted because ENOUGH of them are criminals. Yeah. Its not cool to discriminate. Don't do it.

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHO data says 1 in 3 women globally are the victims of violence and/or sexual assault by men. But yeah, let's make sure we aren't being unfair to men.

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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This whole "men are terrible" thing is getting out of hand. Hear me out... I am NOT saying that there are no issues that need to be addressed, and that some men need to behave better. But saying that you wouldn't go near any men because of some bad men? Does she have a father, uncles, grandpa, cousins? Does she avoid them? Also, this lady is clearly misled... I fish, and I fish in ponds and lakes with alligators - they hang around some of those ponds because there are big fish. People know they can die from smoking, and yet they smoke. People take risks all the time, because there is a thrill in "cheating death." This post makes me shake my head.

laugh avatar
Laugh or not
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, we can't and shouldn't avoid all men. However, we try not to be alone when travelling, we warn each other of some men, we learn from infancy to not leave our drinks unattended, that if we go to a party we must leave together, to not answer catcalls and walk faster... There are so many behaviours that are dictated not because we want them, but because there are "enough men" that would hurt us. And it looks like her explanation was not dumb down enough.

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Requiem
Community Member
3 years ago

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Ya saying you have an 80% chance of surviving poisoned cheesecake and refusing all of them is the same as people complaining about the .01% chance of adverse effects from Vaccines, still 99.9

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Frank Ropen
Community Member
3 years ago

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If all cheesecakes one is poisonous, would you eat one? Probably no. So one is enough to never eat cheesecake again. And cheesecake is not a human being with feelings. So it's wrong to call trans people by the wrong pronoun but it's ok to predjude men by a minority of them?

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