Woman Tweets About All The Times Men Didn’t Rape Her To Teach A Lesson On Consent
This past year the #MeToo movement inspired women around the globe to share their stories of sexual assault and this past week was no different. A new spark reignited the dialogue, led by Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford and her testimony against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh, who allegedly attempted to rape her in high school.
With most accusations of rape come a large dose of victim-blaming; What was she wearing? How many drinks had she had? Was she behaving flirtatiously? Well, one woman decided to counter these responses with 7 powerful stories, not of sexual assault, but of the times she wasn’t assaulted. Comedian Mara Quint recounts how in all of these situations she fit the criteria of a potential victim, large quantities of alcohol and flirtation but that there was one defining factor – men who knew what consent was.
Scroll down below to read the powerful tweets that shut down the idea behind the “she was asking for it” dialogue and share your comments!
In light of the sexual assault debates surrounding Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, Mara Quint took to Twitter to explain sexual consent
Image credits: Maura Quint
But instead of telling stories about being sexually assaulted, she decided to share different ones:
Other women started sharing their experiences
Refreshing to read a rather positive view of things. There are many responsible people in this world. These are typically _not_ those who raise their voices or even get loud. (Particulartly not at a public hearing when being proposed for the position in a country that requires the highest level of objectivity. Sorry, could not resist...)
I agree with you here. One more good thing to point out about this article is that all this time we"ve been telling people what not to do. Finally we're telling them what to so instead. That's informative, I think, for all the genuinely confused and scared guys out there.
Load More Replies...I finished work one night (at a bar, so I was completely sober) and a friend and I were walking to our cars. A new security guard walked us, proceeded to attack one of us. A random drunk guy came and saved the day. It's so good to see that even when drunk as a skunk he thought nothing about putting himself in danger. Not all guys are bad news :)
It serves as a reminder that 99.9% of men are good and decent. Many years ago I was taken advantage of by a man I knew slightly (didnt even particularly like) when I got myself into a complete drunken state at a party (don't know, but suspect my drink may have been spiked). I still blame myself to this day and feel guilt and shame whenever I remember it. Try to remind myself that the inability to say "NO" does not equal "yes" and that I was NOT actually the one who knew exactly what they were doing
The only upside is that I have absolute zero memory about it and have never spoken about this before - but the #metoo issue gets you remembering stuff you buried for a long time
Load More Replies...When I was 18 I was drinking heavly at a party and some of my "friends" were teasing me that I was still a virgin at my age (the horror...!!). Anyway, I called my best friend who happened to be a guy and asked him to have sex with me. He told me that if I could ask him again sober, the answer would be yes but since I wasn't the answer was no and that it was time for me to go home. He took me home and slept on the couch because my parents were out of town and he didn't want to leave me alone in that state.
A year ago, I met a guy online. We talked for for a bit, I gave him my number, we decided to meet in person for a date. I was nervous cuz I had gone out on dates before with guys I met online. They usually get grabby, I just wanted to get to know the guy to see how we'd get along. We met, we drank, we had fun, laughed, we got to know each other. At the end of the date he walked me to the train, he wasn't grabby, or pushy, he was respectful and charming, polite and sweet. I liked him a lot. We kept dating, we fell in love. 1 year later, we live together. See!! Not everyone you meet online is a grabby rapist murder. People are good!
I've never doubted there are "good men" in this world! Unfortunately, there are also bad men (and women). I think what's got me all riled up these past few weeks is hearing Trump say things like "it's a very scary time for young men in America"... and Trump Jr. saying he worries more about his sons than his daughters. I feel flabbergasted! Because, really, as long as you've raised a decent human being who understands what consent means, you should have nothing to worry about! These old politicians who feel like "they could be next" or that women are trying to oust men with these "attacks," I would ask what they've done in their past that causes them fear and panic. If someone's not guilty of wrongdoing, then there's nothing to worry about!
What else to expect coming out of that disgusting pie hole? Both are accused of being male chauvinistic pigs but you still can't believe the audacity of tRump! World's #1 Narcissistic a*****e!
Load More Replies...Great article! Nice to see some positivity from time to time. Though I did get a bit concerned when he took the foreign girl to meet the butcher. I think I've watched too many horror movies.
When I was 19 after a bad break up I got super drunk with a guy and we made out like crazy. But when he pressured me to have sex I told him I wasn't ready. He burped in my face (seriously) and told me to leave. He was an a*****e, but not a rapist. Being drunk doesn't cause rape. What you're wearing doesn't cause rape. Rapists cause rape.
This goes back almost 30 years, we had a contingent of guys on our uni campus who were the "bodyguards" --- would volunteer any night etc to walk a girl across campus or home from parties, etc. No twist ending. None of them hurt anyone. One, in fact, testified for a girl raped at a party after being drugged. Cred to the GENTLE MEN of the world! (I am female, married to a Gentle Man, rape survivor.)
I've been assaulted twice. Once by a (former) close friend and once by a guy I was dating. It still amazes me how kind and considerate my current boyfriend has been. He waited until I was comfortable being physical and let me initiate, and any time I have asked to stop, he stops immediately.
my current boyfriend/partner does not want to hear about domestic abuse from my previous relationship - it makes him angry
Load More Replies...I liked this very much. It doesn't just remind us that there are plenty of good guys, but also makes the point that IT IS NOT THE VICTIM'S FAULT TO GET RAPED. It's not the outfit, it's not the alcohol, it's not the kissing, it's not the place... it's all about respect, being a human with an IQ higher than 10, and dignity.
Just wanted to chime in ... haven't raped or taken advantage of any of the many too-drunk girls and women I met, declined a few slurred offers and advances.
Before I get all the hate in the world let me clarify.I AM NOT JUDGING anybody here.Rape is never okay.I am reading this and wondering is it a common thing for a woman to go out and get severely drunk to the point where she needs assistance from random men she doesn't know? Why?
I'm guessing people in general get drunk enough to need assistance from time to time. I have taken my very drunk fiancee home a few times when he's been too drunk to help himself xD It's a culture thing, right? Partying/drinking. The difference between men and women being that drunk is that men rarely have to worry about being taken advantage of in that state.
Load More Replies...Yessss! This is what I am talking about! Again and again and again. Young guys NEED to hear the normal, good and wholesome side of the story. They need good role models. I am especially glad to see that so many men were posting. Keep it up all you great men out there! Talk about how a real man behaves.
I frequented a dance club in my teens. One good friend had a fight with his girlfriend. She stormed out and met my ex outside (real slime ball.) He offered to listen/talk to her about why she was upset and told her he had a bottle of rum in his car. Within 30 minutes, her boyfriend and his buddies went looking for her when a mutual friend said she saw her climbing in my exes car. They found the car and opened the door to find her passed out and him in the middle of taking her clothes off. Her boyfriend's buddies pulled my ex out of the car and beat the living snot out of him in the parking lot while her boyfriend and another friend covered her up and took her home. My ex was in the hospital for several days. He never returned to the dance club. I later found out him and his family lost everything they had to bankruptcy. Serves the a*****e right.
When I was 15, I invited a much older guy I knew from the internet to my house when my family was at work. I did it with the intention of having sex. (Yes I know how incredibly stupid I was). We got hot and heavy, even started having sex. In the middle of it, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. He pulled out, got dressed, thanked me for the fun we had before I lost the mood, and left. We stayed friends for a couple years after that.
Awfully presumptuous of you to think that's what happened. It did not. Whether or not either of us finished is not the point. I did not. He did earlier. Did he ask me if I was sure? Of course. Did I apologize for just stopping? Not that I needed to, but yes. The point is, there were no stupid expectations, pressure, or guilt. I was a consenting person who changed her mind and he respected that. BTW, I've been with the same man for almost 20 years now and we have 2 kids. Yup, I feel real lonely.
Load More Replies...This is to protect female college students, in my opinion. Rape-Cultu...6f3cdc.jpg
My comment was specifically not getting so drunk that the outcome depends on whether the man is good or evil.
Need to have my 15yo daughter read this, she's been despairing that there are no good guys. (Dad doesn't count as a guy.) Also love that there were some girls looking out for one another!
I was sitting at home watching late night TV when the house shock with a load bang, I opened the door to find an extremly drunk woman that was fulling over trying to stand up, I had no idea how she ended up on my street as there is nothing around, I mean no bars or anything for miles, I ended up calling for an ambulance, I think most people are decent and have probably done similar things in life, it's good to have that being acknowledge.
This post remembers me my first ever week in Alaska. On day 3, I was working with the most flimsy clothes, I took off my gloves and boots and didn't feel my limbs. I was in shock, mouth gapped and all. This guy noted I was on the verge of hypothermia. He asked my name, told me his and then dragged me into his car and started driving. At the time I came out of this daze I was in, we were already on a road in the middle of nowhere: dark and desolated. I started thinking: s**t, I'm screwed. Then we reached a mall, we parked in front of a sports store, he dragged me inside and everybody greeted him. He was Ricky. He took me there to buy better winter clothes so I wouldn't die in the Alaskan tundra. He didn't rape me. He will always be my hero and an overall great man.
Women like, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford hasn't accused or wanted all men to be painted by the same brush as Brett Kavanaugh. She tried to reach the white house before he was nominated. When it didn't work out, she was forced to do her civic duty. She did. Her conscience is clear. The rest is what we will have to live with. Teach your sons not to rape women; protect women, and good men every where will be cherished and admired. Rape-Cultu...f808d0.jpg
I will never understand. Why get drunk in the first place? Why drink at all? Why put yourself in that kind of situation? Just asking, because I honestly don't get why people do it (men or women - because there are women who will rape a man if he's that inebriated, too.)
Drinking has become so accepted in our culture, once someone has had a few drinks they are unaware how quickly they can become drunk and may behave as they would never do while sober. Some drinks have a very high alcohol content. It is not the drunk person’s responsibility it is the responsibility of others to not take advantage. I am so glad to learn that there are still gentlemen who will take care of a drunk friend or even a drunk stranger. Reading these messages has restored my faith in humanity.
Load More Replies...Women must also empower themselves.. Never put your safety in the hand of someone else's morality. It is a dangerous gamble.
Don't you dare suggest that! You are blaming women for bad male behavior! Women have zero control over their own situations and scenarios! How dare you give rapists a free pass by suggesting women take personal responsibility for their owe safety and comfort! You rapist sympathizer! As you can tell I'm being sarcastic, but for real you're going to be down-voted for suggesting that women empower and arm themselves with basic personal responsibility and common sense.
Load More Replies...I love good men, those who want a definitive YES otherwise nothing happens. Bad men, men who assault and rape , give all men a bad rap. Though there are people of all genders, races, and nationalities that give all others a bad rap. People are so wonderful and so crappy at the same time.
This goes to show that a good guy is a good guy...the rest are just a******s who do what they want....regardless of the situation or if you say no. I'm so happy that she's highlighted these different situations, and how real men reacted to them. No is always NO! Maybe is not a YES! Consent can only be given when someone is sober and lucid....otherwise... IT IS RAPE, guys. These stories are amazing. Amen for all the REAL MEN out there.
It is wonderful to know that there are still so many men who have been raised well. I have in my youth been in situations where the young men I was with on various occasions we’re not rapists. I made sure that my son was raised to respect others, with two older sisters, he was very protective of them and I told him to always treat a young lady as he would like his sisters to be treated, with the utmost respect. Good and decent people do not make headlines, their acts are not newsworthy....they are the majority of humanity.
Remarkable and so refreshing to read. I know there are a lot of nice honorable men out there...I've met many of them. Thank you for sharing.
I visited a female friend at her Uni. I was sleeping on her floor in halls, sleeping bag, roll mat. one of the nights, I went out with the Uni Goth Soc. she wasn't one of them, but was friends with some, so I ended up going out, while she was sensible. I hardly knew them. got very drunk. after a great night out, ended up back at one guys room in halls, to watch some South Park. I fell asleep on his single bed. he made himself up a bed on the floor, and made sure there was a big glass of water on the bedside table for me. I never met him before or after. I woke up telling myself off for being in that state with a total stranger, but that total stranger was, fortunately for me, a decent human being. there was no ulterior motive to watching south park together. and when I passed out very drunk, he made sure I had a blanket, a bed, and hydration in arms reach, and didn't violate me as I was out of it. it was a purely social thing, and he took care of me, and neither of us knew each other. I cringed at what could have happened, but because not everyone is a s**t, it didn't happen. I just had a good nights sleep. a big glass of water, and some lovely young student sleeping on his own floor because he wanted to make sure I was safe I was just a young woman he knew was vulnerable, so he made sure I was safe, warm, and hydrated, and somewhere he knew I wouldn't get assaulted.
This, right here, is my #metoo story. Many men who didn't take advantage, a few who did. One who didn't was my love for almost 40 years. Not all men are bad.
On the humorous end, with all your drinking I don't think you should run for office. You now have a sordid past!
I have been put in this situation a few times, also been the pretend boyfriend. I never knew my dad and was raised by my mum. Thank goodness.
I would like to share this - I never have before even though it was 40 years ago. a 15 year old girl gets invited out for a drive by a 19 year old she has a bit of a crush on one lunchtime in his work van. He drives to a secluded beach 5 miles out of town, then announces that is she doesnt agree to have sex with him he will drive off and leave her there. She ends up agreeing as scared to be dumped so far from home and doesnt have much self respect at that point. What does this count as? The guy in question would very likely not remember it at all. This is why the whole US Judge situation is so infuriating. It could have meant so little to the perpatrator that he genuinely does not remember, but it means a huge amount to the victim.
After a woman was assaulted on the campus an older gentleman decided to walk his Doberman on campus and every female student that has to go this way can walk with him to the bus stop. Karl and Glucke real life hero’s.
I love these. Yup, there are still gentlemen out there. My husband is one of them. That's why I married him.
These people need to stop putting themselves in these awful situations. This is why I think alcohol is evil.
I agree with this article. But I think it's important to remember that men are largely terrified of women, and yet we need you. Sometimes we do stupid things too. Doesn't make us horrible people like the broader conversation implies. I'm not speaking on behalf of rapists here, just people who make mistakes. What if one of those guys was just as drunk and "loose" as you, in reference to all these examples of women incapable of making rational decisions. Why is it the mans responsibility to make sure nothing every happens? We are all responsible. This is coming from a guy who has only ever kissed women he has been in love with, and I'm 25.
Ok. I will also tell you a story. One night, I was drinking with my buddy at his place with other friend (girl). We all were in early twenties and very active. She was so wasted, started throwing up and messed up her clothes. Her face looked very sick. We put her in shower so she can wash herself and wake up. But she wasn't even able to stand up. We helped her to take shower, put fresh clothes on and put her in his bed. We slept on the couch together (2 straight guys). Next morning, she was just embarresed about the mess she caused. We said everthing is good and stayed good friends afterwards. Also, I have many stories about women who used their sexuality to get promotions. Some #meetoo stories are very sexist, and they simply blame men and show all women innocent. Maybe because of such cases we ended up with an a*****e like Kavanaugh. We need to balance this s**t.
I do not understand "using sexuality to get promotions" as somehow bing equivalent to rape... Can you explain that to me?
Load More Replies...When I was young there were also a lot of times when I could have been assaulted but I wasn't because a man with me was normal and not rapist. I believe that most men are good and will not rape you or assault you, but it does not hurt to be careful. Sometimes it is really hard to recognise really dangerous men. They can appear very charming and convincing. So, just in case, be careful, but keep your goof faith in people.
This will get downvoted but I will say it anyway. Seems a lot of people felt positive about this article, I felt...uneasy to say the least. Yes, rape is bad, consent is good, absolutely. But this woman...she is boasting getting so drunk she absolutely loses control over her actions multiple times, teasing the guys to the point of obvious sex prelude("he got naked and I touched him"? Why the hell do that given she didn't want to have sex, did she just randomly want to touch a naked guy or something? That's creepy af) then SUDDENLY changing her mind and putting it on guys to happily take care of her at that point. Were they good people for stopping? Yeah, obviously. Is she a good person for doing all this AND boasting of it now like it's something to be proud of? Hell no.
I've only blacked out from drinking once. I was in college and I'm awkward. I had way too much wine. I remember sitting on a guys lap flirting & playing card games. Next thing I woke up at the bottom of the girls bed who threw the party and said "how the f**k did I get here?" I passed out on the guy and he carried me to her bed & covered me with a blanket.
I still feel like a dude pulling you into an alley and kissing you without permission is too far... or is that just me.
There are many good, balanced and decent men out there. I’ve been married to such a man a lifetime. Rape is horrible, not only for the woman, but for every good man out there who is under suspicion just because he is male. There are no winners in this. These posts were very heartwarming.
Why is this a surprise? "Not a rapist" is the standard male default setting.
Seriously? Is this what the world is coming to? Having to be grateful that guys didn't rape us? Unbelievable!
The fact you're pleased to learn not all men are rapists says more about women than it does about the men in these stories,
Escaping the generalized analysis is how the first tweets portray a man acting dangerously passionately and easily creeping (pun intended) into a gray area wherein one woman might think she was sexually assaulted whereas another woman would react quite nonchalantly like the one sharing her tweets here. It is dangerous for a man nowadays to behave impulsively amd recklessly even if his intention is not to force sexual contact , though of course, even “sexual contact” has to be written inside quotes because nowadays, depending on which ideology is being espoused, it can easily be regarded as “sexual assault”. We owe that much to the #metoo hysteria.
Three things I learned about you: 1. You are an a*****e. 2. You are a troll. 3. Nobody wants you here so just get off the internet.
Load More Replies...I think you missed the point of this article and the concept of consent as a whole. Being drunk is not a crime. If a dude is drunk, do you think it's fine to rob him blind? Women do not have to be perfect to be respected.
Load More Replies...If you're too stupid to ask a simple question, then YOU are the one with the problem. It's not on someone to say 'no", it's on YOU to ask if they want to have sex in the first place. If you don't do that, then you're an idiot and a coward.
Load More Replies...People NEED to hear about it. Otherwise it will never stop.
Load More Replies...Or you could just f**k off and go back to your mra reddit. A circle jerk sounds like your natural habitat you pathetic whiner.
Load More Replies...Do you ask for evidence anytime someone tells you a story? Asking for evidence for everything you hear or read doesn't make you rational. It makes you pedantic and extremely annoying.
Load More Replies...This is such a positive article and it reflects so well on men. Pity you had to leave this s****y comment. If a person is very drunk, then they are not thinking clearly and their "consent" is meaningless. If you have sex with them, you're taking advantage of an incapacitated person and that is rape.
Load More Replies...Refreshing to read a rather positive view of things. There are many responsible people in this world. These are typically _not_ those who raise their voices or even get loud. (Particulartly not at a public hearing when being proposed for the position in a country that requires the highest level of objectivity. Sorry, could not resist...)
I agree with you here. One more good thing to point out about this article is that all this time we"ve been telling people what not to do. Finally we're telling them what to so instead. That's informative, I think, for all the genuinely confused and scared guys out there.
Load More Replies...I finished work one night (at a bar, so I was completely sober) and a friend and I were walking to our cars. A new security guard walked us, proceeded to attack one of us. A random drunk guy came and saved the day. It's so good to see that even when drunk as a skunk he thought nothing about putting himself in danger. Not all guys are bad news :)
It serves as a reminder that 99.9% of men are good and decent. Many years ago I was taken advantage of by a man I knew slightly (didnt even particularly like) when I got myself into a complete drunken state at a party (don't know, but suspect my drink may have been spiked). I still blame myself to this day and feel guilt and shame whenever I remember it. Try to remind myself that the inability to say "NO" does not equal "yes" and that I was NOT actually the one who knew exactly what they were doing
The only upside is that I have absolute zero memory about it and have never spoken about this before - but the #metoo issue gets you remembering stuff you buried for a long time
Load More Replies...When I was 18 I was drinking heavly at a party and some of my "friends" were teasing me that I was still a virgin at my age (the horror...!!). Anyway, I called my best friend who happened to be a guy and asked him to have sex with me. He told me that if I could ask him again sober, the answer would be yes but since I wasn't the answer was no and that it was time for me to go home. He took me home and slept on the couch because my parents were out of town and he didn't want to leave me alone in that state.
A year ago, I met a guy online. We talked for for a bit, I gave him my number, we decided to meet in person for a date. I was nervous cuz I had gone out on dates before with guys I met online. They usually get grabby, I just wanted to get to know the guy to see how we'd get along. We met, we drank, we had fun, laughed, we got to know each other. At the end of the date he walked me to the train, he wasn't grabby, or pushy, he was respectful and charming, polite and sweet. I liked him a lot. We kept dating, we fell in love. 1 year later, we live together. See!! Not everyone you meet online is a grabby rapist murder. People are good!
I've never doubted there are "good men" in this world! Unfortunately, there are also bad men (and women). I think what's got me all riled up these past few weeks is hearing Trump say things like "it's a very scary time for young men in America"... and Trump Jr. saying he worries more about his sons than his daughters. I feel flabbergasted! Because, really, as long as you've raised a decent human being who understands what consent means, you should have nothing to worry about! These old politicians who feel like "they could be next" or that women are trying to oust men with these "attacks," I would ask what they've done in their past that causes them fear and panic. If someone's not guilty of wrongdoing, then there's nothing to worry about!
What else to expect coming out of that disgusting pie hole? Both are accused of being male chauvinistic pigs but you still can't believe the audacity of tRump! World's #1 Narcissistic a*****e!
Load More Replies...Great article! Nice to see some positivity from time to time. Though I did get a bit concerned when he took the foreign girl to meet the butcher. I think I've watched too many horror movies.
When I was 19 after a bad break up I got super drunk with a guy and we made out like crazy. But when he pressured me to have sex I told him I wasn't ready. He burped in my face (seriously) and told me to leave. He was an a*****e, but not a rapist. Being drunk doesn't cause rape. What you're wearing doesn't cause rape. Rapists cause rape.
This goes back almost 30 years, we had a contingent of guys on our uni campus who were the "bodyguards" --- would volunteer any night etc to walk a girl across campus or home from parties, etc. No twist ending. None of them hurt anyone. One, in fact, testified for a girl raped at a party after being drugged. Cred to the GENTLE MEN of the world! (I am female, married to a Gentle Man, rape survivor.)
I've been assaulted twice. Once by a (former) close friend and once by a guy I was dating. It still amazes me how kind and considerate my current boyfriend has been. He waited until I was comfortable being physical and let me initiate, and any time I have asked to stop, he stops immediately.
my current boyfriend/partner does not want to hear about domestic abuse from my previous relationship - it makes him angry
Load More Replies...I liked this very much. It doesn't just remind us that there are plenty of good guys, but also makes the point that IT IS NOT THE VICTIM'S FAULT TO GET RAPED. It's not the outfit, it's not the alcohol, it's not the kissing, it's not the place... it's all about respect, being a human with an IQ higher than 10, and dignity.
Just wanted to chime in ... haven't raped or taken advantage of any of the many too-drunk girls and women I met, declined a few slurred offers and advances.
Before I get all the hate in the world let me clarify.I AM NOT JUDGING anybody here.Rape is never okay.I am reading this and wondering is it a common thing for a woman to go out and get severely drunk to the point where she needs assistance from random men she doesn't know? Why?
I'm guessing people in general get drunk enough to need assistance from time to time. I have taken my very drunk fiancee home a few times when he's been too drunk to help himself xD It's a culture thing, right? Partying/drinking. The difference between men and women being that drunk is that men rarely have to worry about being taken advantage of in that state.
Load More Replies...Yessss! This is what I am talking about! Again and again and again. Young guys NEED to hear the normal, good and wholesome side of the story. They need good role models. I am especially glad to see that so many men were posting. Keep it up all you great men out there! Talk about how a real man behaves.
I frequented a dance club in my teens. One good friend had a fight with his girlfriend. She stormed out and met my ex outside (real slime ball.) He offered to listen/talk to her about why she was upset and told her he had a bottle of rum in his car. Within 30 minutes, her boyfriend and his buddies went looking for her when a mutual friend said she saw her climbing in my exes car. They found the car and opened the door to find her passed out and him in the middle of taking her clothes off. Her boyfriend's buddies pulled my ex out of the car and beat the living snot out of him in the parking lot while her boyfriend and another friend covered her up and took her home. My ex was in the hospital for several days. He never returned to the dance club. I later found out him and his family lost everything they had to bankruptcy. Serves the a*****e right.
When I was 15, I invited a much older guy I knew from the internet to my house when my family was at work. I did it with the intention of having sex. (Yes I know how incredibly stupid I was). We got hot and heavy, even started having sex. In the middle of it, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. He pulled out, got dressed, thanked me for the fun we had before I lost the mood, and left. We stayed friends for a couple years after that.
Awfully presumptuous of you to think that's what happened. It did not. Whether or not either of us finished is not the point. I did not. He did earlier. Did he ask me if I was sure? Of course. Did I apologize for just stopping? Not that I needed to, but yes. The point is, there were no stupid expectations, pressure, or guilt. I was a consenting person who changed her mind and he respected that. BTW, I've been with the same man for almost 20 years now and we have 2 kids. Yup, I feel real lonely.
Load More Replies...This is to protect female college students, in my opinion. Rape-Cultu...6f3cdc.jpg
My comment was specifically not getting so drunk that the outcome depends on whether the man is good or evil.
Need to have my 15yo daughter read this, she's been despairing that there are no good guys. (Dad doesn't count as a guy.) Also love that there were some girls looking out for one another!
I was sitting at home watching late night TV when the house shock with a load bang, I opened the door to find an extremly drunk woman that was fulling over trying to stand up, I had no idea how she ended up on my street as there is nothing around, I mean no bars or anything for miles, I ended up calling for an ambulance, I think most people are decent and have probably done similar things in life, it's good to have that being acknowledge.
This post remembers me my first ever week in Alaska. On day 3, I was working with the most flimsy clothes, I took off my gloves and boots and didn't feel my limbs. I was in shock, mouth gapped and all. This guy noted I was on the verge of hypothermia. He asked my name, told me his and then dragged me into his car and started driving. At the time I came out of this daze I was in, we were already on a road in the middle of nowhere: dark and desolated. I started thinking: s**t, I'm screwed. Then we reached a mall, we parked in front of a sports store, he dragged me inside and everybody greeted him. He was Ricky. He took me there to buy better winter clothes so I wouldn't die in the Alaskan tundra. He didn't rape me. He will always be my hero and an overall great man.
Women like, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford hasn't accused or wanted all men to be painted by the same brush as Brett Kavanaugh. She tried to reach the white house before he was nominated. When it didn't work out, she was forced to do her civic duty. She did. Her conscience is clear. The rest is what we will have to live with. Teach your sons not to rape women; protect women, and good men every where will be cherished and admired. Rape-Cultu...f808d0.jpg
I will never understand. Why get drunk in the first place? Why drink at all? Why put yourself in that kind of situation? Just asking, because I honestly don't get why people do it (men or women - because there are women who will rape a man if he's that inebriated, too.)
Drinking has become so accepted in our culture, once someone has had a few drinks they are unaware how quickly they can become drunk and may behave as they would never do while sober. Some drinks have a very high alcohol content. It is not the drunk person’s responsibility it is the responsibility of others to not take advantage. I am so glad to learn that there are still gentlemen who will take care of a drunk friend or even a drunk stranger. Reading these messages has restored my faith in humanity.
Load More Replies...Women must also empower themselves.. Never put your safety in the hand of someone else's morality. It is a dangerous gamble.
Don't you dare suggest that! You are blaming women for bad male behavior! Women have zero control over their own situations and scenarios! How dare you give rapists a free pass by suggesting women take personal responsibility for their owe safety and comfort! You rapist sympathizer! As you can tell I'm being sarcastic, but for real you're going to be down-voted for suggesting that women empower and arm themselves with basic personal responsibility and common sense.
Load More Replies...I love good men, those who want a definitive YES otherwise nothing happens. Bad men, men who assault and rape , give all men a bad rap. Though there are people of all genders, races, and nationalities that give all others a bad rap. People are so wonderful and so crappy at the same time.
This goes to show that a good guy is a good guy...the rest are just a******s who do what they want....regardless of the situation or if you say no. I'm so happy that she's highlighted these different situations, and how real men reacted to them. No is always NO! Maybe is not a YES! Consent can only be given when someone is sober and lucid....otherwise... IT IS RAPE, guys. These stories are amazing. Amen for all the REAL MEN out there.
It is wonderful to know that there are still so many men who have been raised well. I have in my youth been in situations where the young men I was with on various occasions we’re not rapists. I made sure that my son was raised to respect others, with two older sisters, he was very protective of them and I told him to always treat a young lady as he would like his sisters to be treated, with the utmost respect. Good and decent people do not make headlines, their acts are not newsworthy....they are the majority of humanity.
Remarkable and so refreshing to read. I know there are a lot of nice honorable men out there...I've met many of them. Thank you for sharing.
I visited a female friend at her Uni. I was sleeping on her floor in halls, sleeping bag, roll mat. one of the nights, I went out with the Uni Goth Soc. she wasn't one of them, but was friends with some, so I ended up going out, while she was sensible. I hardly knew them. got very drunk. after a great night out, ended up back at one guys room in halls, to watch some South Park. I fell asleep on his single bed. he made himself up a bed on the floor, and made sure there was a big glass of water on the bedside table for me. I never met him before or after. I woke up telling myself off for being in that state with a total stranger, but that total stranger was, fortunately for me, a decent human being. there was no ulterior motive to watching south park together. and when I passed out very drunk, he made sure I had a blanket, a bed, and hydration in arms reach, and didn't violate me as I was out of it. it was a purely social thing, and he took care of me, and neither of us knew each other. I cringed at what could have happened, but because not everyone is a s**t, it didn't happen. I just had a good nights sleep. a big glass of water, and some lovely young student sleeping on his own floor because he wanted to make sure I was safe I was just a young woman he knew was vulnerable, so he made sure I was safe, warm, and hydrated, and somewhere he knew I wouldn't get assaulted.
This, right here, is my #metoo story. Many men who didn't take advantage, a few who did. One who didn't was my love for almost 40 years. Not all men are bad.
On the humorous end, with all your drinking I don't think you should run for office. You now have a sordid past!
I have been put in this situation a few times, also been the pretend boyfriend. I never knew my dad and was raised by my mum. Thank goodness.
I would like to share this - I never have before even though it was 40 years ago. a 15 year old girl gets invited out for a drive by a 19 year old she has a bit of a crush on one lunchtime in his work van. He drives to a secluded beach 5 miles out of town, then announces that is she doesnt agree to have sex with him he will drive off and leave her there. She ends up agreeing as scared to be dumped so far from home and doesnt have much self respect at that point. What does this count as? The guy in question would very likely not remember it at all. This is why the whole US Judge situation is so infuriating. It could have meant so little to the perpatrator that he genuinely does not remember, but it means a huge amount to the victim.
After a woman was assaulted on the campus an older gentleman decided to walk his Doberman on campus and every female student that has to go this way can walk with him to the bus stop. Karl and Glucke real life hero’s.
I love these. Yup, there are still gentlemen out there. My husband is one of them. That's why I married him.
These people need to stop putting themselves in these awful situations. This is why I think alcohol is evil.
I agree with this article. But I think it's important to remember that men are largely terrified of women, and yet we need you. Sometimes we do stupid things too. Doesn't make us horrible people like the broader conversation implies. I'm not speaking on behalf of rapists here, just people who make mistakes. What if one of those guys was just as drunk and "loose" as you, in reference to all these examples of women incapable of making rational decisions. Why is it the mans responsibility to make sure nothing every happens? We are all responsible. This is coming from a guy who has only ever kissed women he has been in love with, and I'm 25.
Ok. I will also tell you a story. One night, I was drinking with my buddy at his place with other friend (girl). We all were in early twenties and very active. She was so wasted, started throwing up and messed up her clothes. Her face looked very sick. We put her in shower so she can wash herself and wake up. But she wasn't even able to stand up. We helped her to take shower, put fresh clothes on and put her in his bed. We slept on the couch together (2 straight guys). Next morning, she was just embarresed about the mess she caused. We said everthing is good and stayed good friends afterwards. Also, I have many stories about women who used their sexuality to get promotions. Some #meetoo stories are very sexist, and they simply blame men and show all women innocent. Maybe because of such cases we ended up with an a*****e like Kavanaugh. We need to balance this s**t.
I do not understand "using sexuality to get promotions" as somehow bing equivalent to rape... Can you explain that to me?
Load More Replies...When I was young there were also a lot of times when I could have been assaulted but I wasn't because a man with me was normal and not rapist. I believe that most men are good and will not rape you or assault you, but it does not hurt to be careful. Sometimes it is really hard to recognise really dangerous men. They can appear very charming and convincing. So, just in case, be careful, but keep your goof faith in people.
This will get downvoted but I will say it anyway. Seems a lot of people felt positive about this article, I felt...uneasy to say the least. Yes, rape is bad, consent is good, absolutely. But this woman...she is boasting getting so drunk she absolutely loses control over her actions multiple times, teasing the guys to the point of obvious sex prelude("he got naked and I touched him"? Why the hell do that given she didn't want to have sex, did she just randomly want to touch a naked guy or something? That's creepy af) then SUDDENLY changing her mind and putting it on guys to happily take care of her at that point. Were they good people for stopping? Yeah, obviously. Is she a good person for doing all this AND boasting of it now like it's something to be proud of? Hell no.
I've only blacked out from drinking once. I was in college and I'm awkward. I had way too much wine. I remember sitting on a guys lap flirting & playing card games. Next thing I woke up at the bottom of the girls bed who threw the party and said "how the f**k did I get here?" I passed out on the guy and he carried me to her bed & covered me with a blanket.
I still feel like a dude pulling you into an alley and kissing you without permission is too far... or is that just me.
There are many good, balanced and decent men out there. I’ve been married to such a man a lifetime. Rape is horrible, not only for the woman, but for every good man out there who is under suspicion just because he is male. There are no winners in this. These posts were very heartwarming.
Why is this a surprise? "Not a rapist" is the standard male default setting.
Seriously? Is this what the world is coming to? Having to be grateful that guys didn't rape us? Unbelievable!
The fact you're pleased to learn not all men are rapists says more about women than it does about the men in these stories,
Escaping the generalized analysis is how the first tweets portray a man acting dangerously passionately and easily creeping (pun intended) into a gray area wherein one woman might think she was sexually assaulted whereas another woman would react quite nonchalantly like the one sharing her tweets here. It is dangerous for a man nowadays to behave impulsively amd recklessly even if his intention is not to force sexual contact , though of course, even “sexual contact” has to be written inside quotes because nowadays, depending on which ideology is being espoused, it can easily be regarded as “sexual assault”. We owe that much to the #metoo hysteria.
Three things I learned about you: 1. You are an a*****e. 2. You are a troll. 3. Nobody wants you here so just get off the internet.
Load More Replies...I think you missed the point of this article and the concept of consent as a whole. Being drunk is not a crime. If a dude is drunk, do you think it's fine to rob him blind? Women do not have to be perfect to be respected.
Load More Replies...If you're too stupid to ask a simple question, then YOU are the one with the problem. It's not on someone to say 'no", it's on YOU to ask if they want to have sex in the first place. If you don't do that, then you're an idiot and a coward.
Load More Replies...People NEED to hear about it. Otherwise it will never stop.
Load More Replies...Or you could just f**k off and go back to your mra reddit. A circle jerk sounds like your natural habitat you pathetic whiner.
Load More Replies...Do you ask for evidence anytime someone tells you a story? Asking for evidence for everything you hear or read doesn't make you rational. It makes you pedantic and extremely annoying.
Load More Replies...This is such a positive article and it reflects so well on men. Pity you had to leave this s****y comment. If a person is very drunk, then they are not thinking clearly and their "consent" is meaningless. If you have sex with them, you're taking advantage of an incapacitated person and that is rape.
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