“I’m Scared To Tell My American Friends”: 11 Things That Are Normal In Denmark But Not In America
Interview
With 33 hour work weeks, a $20 minimum wage, free university, free medical care and free child care, Denmark has been one of the happiest countries in the world for the last decade or more. Home of Hans Christian Andersen and hygge, many people around the globe have an idealized view of what it’s like to live in Denmark. But according to one mother from the US who actually lives there, there are certain cultural differences that might shock the average American.
In her series “Things That Are Normal In Denmark That I’m Scared To Tell My American Friends”, TikToker Annie In Eventyrland shares all of the culture shocks she has experienced since she moved to Denmark. Below, you’ll find many of Annie’s observations about how Danish children are treated, as well as an interview with her and some of the reactions her videos have received.
We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about how normal these things would be in your home country, whether you’re American, Danish or from somewhere else completely! Then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring cultural differences from around the world, look no further than right here.
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It seems like age 7-8 is completely normal for a kid to walk to and from school by themselves, not really any later than 10, depending on where you live and where the kid's school is.
People leave their babies outside in their strollers to sleep. To me, it's a sign of safety and trust in the community.
To hear more about Annie’s thoughts on Danish parenting and how she ended up in Denmark in the first place, we reached out to her via email. She told Bored Panda that her family relocated to Copenhagen about three and a half years ago because the design company her husband works for opened an office there.
We asked Annie how she would compare living in Denmark to living in the US, and she told us, “Considering just the sheer difference in population, it's really hard to compare. But I am really thankful that Denmark is so safe. Copenhagen is listed as the safest city in the world, and I'm extremely grateful to be able to raise my children here. For that, I do prefer Denmark, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the occasional Target run from time to time.”
In Denmark, you can't name your baby whatever you want. In fact, there's a preapproved list that you can choose from. And if the name that you wanna choose for your baby isn't on there, it has to be approved. So we can't name our kids something like Malibu Barbie here, but there are even more common-seeming names that have been blacklisted as well.
In the US, there's this perception that Denmark is just this extremely healthy country and everyone eats super clean and just eats whole foods, fruit, vegetables all the time.
And in the US, at least where I had my kids, which was in New York and then Portland, Oregon, there was a lot of stigma around giving your kids sugar or any kind of junk food.
Honestly, something that I really love about Denmark is how normalized treats are.
Doctors will literally recommend it if your kid is sick, they will say, "Well, have you tried giving them ice cream yet?"
Another food that's kind of demonized again, at least where I'm from in the US, is anything with bread, any carbs of any kind. Here in Denmark, you might have a pastry every day. You might have a pastry several times a day, and then pasta with some bread. You'd probably wash that down with a coke or a glass of wine, or several beers.
I do love how normalized fun foods are, and I think it actually sets people up for really healthy eating habits.
In Finland, it's sort of the same but people usually feed their kids healthy food ever day. Even school food is real food, not junk food.
We also asked Annie if it took a while to acclimate to all of the cultural differences, and she shared, “I honestly feel like I am still adjusting to the cultural differences here. I wasn't expecting it, but it feels like literally everything is different from what I'm used to in some way, for reasons big and small.”
“Learning to grocery shop in a foreign country took me a couple years to get down, and I still have room for improvement,” Annie admitted. “The hardest thing for me to get used to was, considering maternity leave and work life balance is so healthy here, there really isn't such a thing as a stay at home parent, which was my role for five years before making the move. It's been a lot having my entire identity change, but for the better.”
Something that seems to be very normalized here are afflictions of old, in particular, lice. I grew up in Texas and I never had lice in my entire childhood or early adult life. If somebody were to get it, it's kind of a big deal. But I will never forget, a few months after we moved here, as we were leaving my son's kindergarten, he was complaining that his head was itching, and sure enough, I looked at his scalp and there just was like the perfect pattern of lice eggs.
I ran back into the classroom and was like, "Oh my gosh, I just noticed my son has lice." And the teacher was like, "Okay, well, I'll send out an email and let everybody know." They were just so calm about it. Whereas I feel like in the US, people would be freaking out.
The legal drinking age here is 16, you're allowed to buy alcohol of certain levels. In case you don't know, the legal drinking age in the US is 21.
Legally there are no age restrictions on energy drinks. There's just *recommendation* that energy drinks should not be sold to children under the age of 15. Many retailers choose to follow that recommendation, but it's not like it's illegal to sell energy drinks to those who are under 15.
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In the UK, children (16-17) can drink wine with a meal in a restaurant, if bought by an adult. This may have been tightened up, as I was allowed a very small glass of wine with my meal in a restaurant from about the age of 10. At home, it is legal (though not recommended) for children as young as 6 to drink alcohol. This is why for me, turning 18 didn't suddenly make want to go out and drink every night, as it was nothing new.
Alcohol abuse got worse when the drinking age was raised. When kids have to sneak they tend to drink too much. Also, they lost the opportunity to practice safe drinking at parties with adults.
in most places its 18, and countries w younger drinking limits have less alcohol related issues compared to the us where its 21
Or why not start feeding them beer-infused milk with the bottle when they‘re infants.
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Yeah, you can't buy a beer, but you can join the Army & get sent to kill people.
Wow,,l do think that is too young ,,l know we have sips with parents around, before we turn ,18 in Australia,,
It is a good thing the legal drinking age in the US is 21- imagine all these kids 16-21 driving cars being able to buy it easily.
Imagine all those 18 year olds that get to sign up to die for an oil company's shareholder value. Or get to sign contracts for tens of thousands of dollars worth of loans that can't be discharged through bankruptcy.
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Personally (I'm Danish myself, by the way) I think the legal drinking age is too low here. And it's not just that youngsters are allowed to drink - they are among the highest consuming people in that age group in the world! The Danish attitude towards alcohol is perhaps a bit TOO relaxed.
In Germany,legal drinking age is 16, too, and the consumption of alcohol by teens is on an all-time low-level. https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/6257/umfrage/anteil-jugendlicher-mit-woechentlichem-alkoholkonsum/ So I don't think the legal age would be the main factor there.
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As a Canadian, I've always wondered about this. My partner is from the UK, and says that the time and expense of getting a license, plus widely available public tran there typically cuts down on young drivers anyway. So in my mind there is a correlation between the fact that it's pretty cheap, easy, and quick to get a license in the US. Plus the sheer size of the country, and the fact that there are a great many places that have little to no Metro system means that there are a terrifying amount of young, inexperienced drivers on the road. Especially when there are no requirements for driving competency tests until you are in your 70's i think. I could be completely wrong, but with that in mind, I kind of get the thought process behind the 21y/o drinking age.
US age restrictions are based on the over-reliance on personal cars
In germany it's 16 for beer & beer-mixups and 18 for hard liquor (fellow germans, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't have children and didn't need to show my ID since ... at least one and a half decade ago)
Beer/wine/mixed alcoholic drinks based on wine or beer from age 14 if an adult is present, from age 16 if no adult is present. Liquors from age 18. No age restriction on energy drinks which I find shocking. https://www.t-online.de/leben/familie/schulkind-und-jugendliche/id_49419266/jugendschutzgesetz-2022-alkohol-piercings-rauchen-was-duerfen-kinder-wann-.html#ab-welchem-alter-darf-man-alkohol-und-energy-drinks-trinken
Load More Replies... I think kids can start drinking at any age and surprisingly there are no restrictions to that. The legal age to BUY beer is 16, for stronger alcohol it is older.
It was 18 for beer and wine in the States in the 50s, 60s and 70s. (Maybe 80s, I don't know, I moved in '79.)
We then asked Annie if she thinks many American parents could learn a thing or two from Danish parents. “One of the biggest differences between American and Danish parents is how relaxed they are, and with nearly a year of maternity leave, paid vacation and sick days, living in such a safe country, affordable childcare and no medical costs, why wouldn't they be?”
“For that reason, I think it would be pretty difficult for American parents to be as relaxed as their Danish counterparts,” Annie told Bored Panda. “But I do think American culture could stand to step back from helicopter parenting, having their kids in so many activities and having so many educational expectations for them at such young ages. Denmark is really good at letting kids be kids.”
If you drop your kid off at daycare, kindergarten, elementary school, any institution, they could leave at any point and you might not know where they are.
I honestly don't know how many times I picked up my kid from school and they were like, "Hey, we went to the theater today," and I had absolutely no clue that they were even gonna be going anywhere.
There's also been times that I've been out, like walking through the park and ran into my own kids with their school, not even knowing that they would be there.
Parents do get an email or messages in the online forum (AULA) when kids go on day trips or go outside.
If you are ever visiting Denmark, do not be alarmed if you hear a four-year-old on the playground dropping an F-bomb. It's very normal to hear Danish kids using American curse words, very small kids, which is very jarring. Like I said, sometimes you'll hear around age four and five, and once they're in elementary school, it's pretty much the norm.
“Something I love about Denmark is even though people aren't super outgoing here, everyone is always looking out for each other and each others' children,” Annie added. “If I am ever out with my kids and need a hand, people never hesitate to step in and help. I would love to see that same sense of community in cities all over the US.”
First of all, the actual school day is only from 8 to 1:30 PM.
Secondly, they don't call their teacher, Miss, Mrs. Mr. Ma'am, Sir. They just call them by their first name
If a kid is caught hitting, flipping somebody the bird, using a cuss word, the harshest punishment they're gonna get is probably just the talking to. Things like suspensions and expulsions are only used in extremely extreme cases.
My oldest son is in the US equivalent of the third grade. He just now started getting homework this year, and his homework is to read for 15 minutes a day in whatever book he chooses. He's also never received a grade. I don't know when that starts. Oh, kids here don't start reading until they turn seven, in the US, there's pressure to start reading by five.
I'm not sure if this is true, but since kids here are allowed to buy beer at the store at age 16, I've heard that some high schools serve their students beer in the cafeteria.
The last bit is not true. Unless there is a school party of some sort there is no beer for sale in high schools.
You can't just walk into any old store and buy whatever drug or supplement that you might want or need. And also there are a lot of drugs and supplements in the US that just aren't available here.
For instance, if you need Tylenol or infant Tylenol, which is actually called Panadol here, you have to go to a pharmacy or you can get them behind the counter at grocery stores, but you have to get it from behind the counter in every circumstance. In the US there are just aisles full of drugs in every supermarket.
It’s no surprise that Denmark is one of the world’s safest and happiest nations, especially after hearing a bit more about how they raise their children. We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments as well. If you had the chance, would you raise your kids in Denmark? Or do you wish you had grown up there yourself? If you’d like to keep up with Annie and her family’s adventures in Denmark, you can find her TikTok Annie in Eventyrland right here.
In Denmark, once you start grade school, you take a sports class in the US we would call it PE or physical education. Afterwards, everyone, boys and girls, get completely disrobed and then they all get in a large shower together and it's supervised by their classroom teacher. Whereas in the US, we didn't even change into athletic clothes, and then afterwards, don't change out of our clothes and just go about our day.
Many viewers weighed in with their thoughts on these cultural differences in the comments as well
I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
My wife and I were just in southern Europe and the most shocking and wonderful thing for me was seeing a full playground at 10 at night with no supervision. The parents were all obviously at restaurants down the street (but completely out of sight) and it was just so clear that there was nothing to worry about.
If you're "scared" to tell your friends something than that's the bigger issue!
If you're scared to tell your friends something I guess you just post it on the internet for them and everyone else to see.
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Letting boys and girls get in a shower together naked? Uh... No!
No, that is misunderstood. Boys and girls have separate locker rooms and showers. Always! And any child or parent expressing discomfort with showering or changing in a group (either boys or girls) is allowed to change and shower privately.
Load More Replies... Northern countries in Europe are safe. They are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Iceland. Sweden has a bit of criminal activity but Finland is really safe even though its next to Russia! You can see kids walking alone at 10 pm because there's no fear of crimes or shootings: you cant carry guns freely.
Sweden just had its far-right party become the 2nd most powerful. Sorry if I decline to put it on a list of "safe" places. When the far-right has any power politically, a country becomes very prone to sh*tstorms. See: US, UK, Brazil, Russia, Hungary, Italy, etc etc etc
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In my country i won't let my 9yeaar old walk alone. Love my country but no way i am ready to take chance, Kidnappings / abductions happens so fast and you would even know where to start looking. SA is a beautiful country, not worth to be neglected me just every person is not a criminal bit i won't risk it.
I wonder how long this 'Anne from Eventyrland' has being living in Denmark. Lot of the things here are not accurate and some are downright false!
Please tell me which ones are false? I'm born in Denmark and been living here all my life. Please enlighten me.
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The f-bomb. 😄 We're from Germany and here it is also quite common, to drop the "f-bomb". We use the "No risk, no fun" phrase, without translating it. My daughter is so familiar with the f-bomb, that she thinks, it's "No risk, no f**k." 🤣 I never correct her, because I think it's hilarious! 😂🤗
Copied from FloC: I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
I'm with the last person (and im in the US). My house was the party house for yearrrrrs
I have been living in Denmark for25 years now. I came from California and married a Dane. My husband and I are now Guardians if our grandson who was born in California and now lives with us in Denmark. Raising children here us so different. I find that there are not any real consequences for children and the foul language here is tolerated which we find appealing. We live in a small town and because the way kids are raised here I find a total lack of respect for other people's property and people here take it in stride. Bikes especially are routinely taken by children, teens and adults and dumped when they are done riding the stolen bicycle. The children are spoiled and disrespectful and it shows in the classrooms. The liberties given to children here are not just from the way this society functions but also from the laws put on place to protect children's rights. In eight months from now, children at the age of ten can tell the authorities they no longer want to see their parents.
I find your little anecdote incredibly hard to believe, some would say its completely made up
Load More Replies... I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
My wife and I were just in southern Europe and the most shocking and wonderful thing for me was seeing a full playground at 10 at night with no supervision. The parents were all obviously at restaurants down the street (but completely out of sight) and it was just so clear that there was nothing to worry about.
If you're "scared" to tell your friends something than that's the bigger issue!
If you're scared to tell your friends something I guess you just post it on the internet for them and everyone else to see.
Load More Replies... Letting boys and girls get in a shower together naked? Uh... No!
No, that is misunderstood. Boys and girls have separate locker rooms and showers. Always! And any child or parent expressing discomfort with showering or changing in a group (either boys or girls) is allowed to change and shower privately.
Load More Replies... Northern countries in Europe are safe. They are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Iceland. Sweden has a bit of criminal activity but Finland is really safe even though its next to Russia! You can see kids walking alone at 10 pm because there's no fear of crimes or shootings: you cant carry guns freely.
Sweden just had its far-right party become the 2nd most powerful. Sorry if I decline to put it on a list of "safe" places. When the far-right has any power politically, a country becomes very prone to sh*tstorms. See: US, UK, Brazil, Russia, Hungary, Italy, etc etc etc
Load More Replies... In my country i won't let my 9yeaar old walk alone. Love my country but no way i am ready to take chance, Kidnappings / abductions happens so fast and you would even know where to start looking. SA is a beautiful country, not worth to be neglected me just every person is not a criminal bit i won't risk it.
I wonder how long this 'Anne from Eventyrland' has being living in Denmark. Lot of the things here are not accurate and some are downright false!
Please tell me which ones are false? I'm born in Denmark and been living here all my life. Please enlighten me.
Load More Replies... The f-bomb. 😄 We're from Germany and here it is also quite common, to drop the "f-bomb". We use the "No risk, no fun" phrase, without translating it. My daughter is so familiar with the f-bomb, that she thinks, it's "No risk, no f**k." 🤣 I never correct her, because I think it's hilarious! 😂🤗
Copied from FloC: I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
I'm with the last person (and im in the US). My house was the party house for yearrrrrs
I have been living in Denmark for25 years now. I came from California and married a Dane. My husband and I are now Guardians if our grandson who was born in California and now lives with us in Denmark. Raising children here us so different. I find that there are not any real consequences for children and the foul language here is tolerated which we find appealing. We live in a small town and because the way kids are raised here I find a total lack of respect for other people's property and people here take it in stride. Bikes especially are routinely taken by children, teens and adults and dumped when they are done riding the stolen bicycle. The children are spoiled and disrespectful and it shows in the classrooms. The liberties given to children here are not just from the way this society functions but also from the laws put on place to protect children's rights. In eight months from now, children at the age of ten can tell the authorities they no longer want to see their parents.
I find your little anecdote incredibly hard to believe, some would say its completely made up
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