Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral
Rain Dove, a non-binary model, has a unique policy of responding with kindness to the people who message them on Instagram, even if some of the messages initially lack it.
The model’s answer to “are you a man or a woman” is “I am I.” They respond to crude and even violent messages by asking how someone’s day is going, give compliments even in response to insults, and use humor and absurdity to deflect uncomfortable questions. And it might sound a little new-agey, but sometimes Dove finds that responding to someone with compassion and interest is enough to make them re-examine their initial judgemental reactions.
Image credits: Rain Dove
This time, the message was from a parent who was angry and confused that their child had asked for a binder, an article of clothing used to flatten one’s chest. Dove stayed calm, prompted the parent about their reasons for feeling that way, and managed to turn it into a teaching moment by appealing to concern for the child’s well-being.
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Dove makes a strong point that binding with whatever materials you can get your hands on instead of a professionally made article of clothing is dangerous, and suffering alone with mental health issues that you feel like you can’t tell your parents about is also dangerous. When you want your child to feel like they can tell you everything, providing them with an environment where they feel like they can safely explore their identity and go to you for help is crucial.
Image credits: Rain Dove
Commenters are inspired by Dove’s approach of being relentlessly kind to the people who message them, trying to get to the bottom of their concerns and find a human side. Not everyone can do what Dove does, and it’s undoubtedly not easy—some of their posts and stories show that not everyone is moved by the tactic. It’s understandable not to want to respond to someone who is sending you angry accusations or calling you names online, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to.
But, amazingly, Dove’s posts show that sometimes anger can be hiding worry about something deeper, and a little bit of compassion can encourage people to see things in a different way.
Whatever your feelings about this particular story, I have such respect for people who are able to respond to vitriol and anger with compassion. I fear my response in such situations would be a knee-jerk defensive response, but I've seen several first-hand moments where fear and anger was diffused merely by the simple act of kindness and really listening to what the other person was going through, without making judgments.
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@lag why do you have to get in to this??? I'm thirteen and my whole life, I've hated who I am. Because I wasn't born in the right body. People like you are what makes life so painful for me. We don't try to make other people trans. But if someone is trans, we encourage them to be themselves. Your "if I don't comment, they will win" comment is bs. There is no war to win. Just the battle that homophobes force us into. This article was about acceptance and love and being yourself. But you turned it into a reason to try and "win". Let me give you some advice, hun, there's nothing to win, but even if there were, we sure would win because of imbeciles like you thinking they know everything opposed to smart, rational, caring people is hardly even fair. So, why don't you crawl back into your little hole and go preach to a wall. I'll bet that wall gives a hundred more sh*ts then I do. Than anyone does. You need to stop trying to change the lifestyles of people you've never met. -Aidyn
Aidyn, lag is what seems to be a new troll within this normally "live and let live" peaceful bunch of boredpandas Your eloquence, intelligence, insightfulness, and self-awareness is something to be admired - it shows a wonderful character. Please now that the *majority* of us, are totally ok with the life you want to live, because quite frankly, it's *your* life. Just as we don't want someone to dictate to us how we should live, we don't want to dictate to others. I hope you're surrounded by people who both respect and support you in your life journey. If not, please know that you have a tribe of us in here, from all around the world, that wish you only good things.
Aidyn -- This old as dirt gender queer queen just wanted to let you know it *does* get better. I hear you. Thirteen sucks. Hating one's body is miserable. The unkind things people say are really painful. And the freedom of adulthood still feels like it is unbearably far away. But keep true to yourself, keep moving forward, it is worth it, you are worth it! You are articulate and you have a fire in your spirit and you will find your tribe if you haven't already. It gets much, much better.
*HUGS* You're beautiful Aidyn, please remember that for every lag out there there's at least a hundred of us who fully support you being who you are.
Sorry, I pressed the wrong button. I hope you will love yourself for who you are. You are amazing, every loving and caring person is amazing. I haven't read lag his response, but if he were disrespectful I apologize. He doesn't speak for all of us. I hope you will find happiness.
I hope know more people support you than it may seem online. I think you (and all of us) were born in the exact right body because it yours! It is yours to figure out, enjoy, use, modify if and however you want, dress it up however, show it off, hide it, whatever. You get to decide.
I think many of the haters have their own gender identity issues and they get triggered. As society gets more tolerant they’ll probably calm down.
I hope you will love yourself. There's a
@Chev Neck and @Alex Harris Please go bother someone else with your arrogant opinion Thanks! -A
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885
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please check out the karolinska institute gender dysphoria study done in a span of over 30yrs,before you change anything on your body study been done in sweden
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
hey ava oooooooooooof
Brayden stop
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Your body is right. Your mind... I don't think so...
You don't think. You needed a full stop a bit earlier in that sentence.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Should have beat your kids ass instead of letting them turn into this generation of virtue signaling whiners we have now. It's alright in a couple years this ideology will be a forgotten blip. XX or XY
Whiners? People who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, trans, queer, non-binary or something else, have the fucking right to do so. I'm raised a catholic and in the past few years a whole bunch of shit came out, where the priests, who say gays are the devil, have been proven to abuse young boys. Disgusting things, which made me doubt religion. It's 2019, yet somehow you're still living in the 16th century. Be glad people have the right to claim what they feel, to be open about it. I'm a 100% straight male and the only problem I have with the LBGTQ-etc. are the homophobes ruining the lives of them. And you are one of those!
Whiners? People who identify themselves as gay, trans, auee
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
BTW Aidyn if your parent did their fucking job they would have told you a 13 year old is a Minor and has absolutely no say in these matters.
You really want to go there? Okay you get the motherfucking burn. If a parent were to be as shallow as you are, they don't deserve to be named a parent. They are either a sperm donor, or child-bearer. A parent would love their child for whom he/she/it is. If my child would come out of the closet, or tells me they don't identify their gender, I would go every extra mile to make them happy. I won't be a man saying they are wrong for what they feel, I will make the journey with them. Right beside them every fucking step of the way. And if there were to be a shallow asshole like you, I would deal with your negativity, because they sure as hell don't need that kind of shit in their lives. You are part of the problem. Because of people like you, fine human beings are hurting themselves, or even take their own lives. And if I were to be your child, I would hate you and resent you for all this bullshit you are daring to say. They don't choose to be who they are, they just are. People like you are the pillar of the hatred among us. So there you have it. And I know you won't change your believes, because change requires brainactivity.
Rain’s patience and compassion are incredible. This is so lovely and inspiring. ❤️
Eat a Snickers, lag.
Ana J, I'm not exactly sure why you're even bothering to stay here. You won't get anywhere with this bunch. I read all your previous comments and I was a bit confused why you were getting downvoted. Now that your patience has clearly been degraded to practically nothing, most of your downvotes I'd say you probably deserve, though :P (Strangely enough, i noticed they began to directly insult you far more once the 13 year old came into the chat) Honestly, why are you wasting so much time here though? I suggest searching for somwhere that's actually centrist if you desire to have a legitimate debate. Note: for some reason I couldn't reply directly to you
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Rain is talking to herself. This is so fake. Great stock photo though!
*THEMSELF RESPECT THE PRONOUNS
Whatever your feelings about this particular story, I have such respect for people who are able to respond to vitriol and anger with compassion. I fear my response in such situations would be a knee-jerk defensive response, but I've seen several first-hand moments where fear and anger was diffused merely by the simple act of kindness and really listening to what the other person was going through, without making judgments.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Hello, There are many ways to achieve your financial goals. Cryptocurrency has made more people millionaires than any other trade or investment opportunity in the world within the last decade. And the good news is this, it is never too late to start trading cryptocurrencies. Make huge profits with minimum investment trading on cryptocurrencies with my professional investment broker. Tested and Trusted. Here are what you benefit: Investment is secure and safe. Fast Payout assured. Free registration available. Trading tutorials for newbies. Withdrawals delivered straight to your wallet in seconds. Why send you this email? What do I stand to gain? What I stand to gain is a referral bonus from my broker. And also I will be given access to my own mining dashboard after 10 referrals. whatsapp: +1(727) 242-0043 Email: contact@binarymultitrade.com
@lag why do you have to get in to this??? I'm thirteen and my whole life, I've hated who I am. Because I wasn't born in the right body. People like you are what makes life so painful for me. We don't try to make other people trans. But if someone is trans, we encourage them to be themselves. Your "if I don't comment, they will win" comment is bs. There is no war to win. Just the battle that homophobes force us into. This article was about acceptance and love and being yourself. But you turned it into a reason to try and "win". Let me give you some advice, hun, there's nothing to win, but even if there were, we sure would win because of imbeciles like you thinking they know everything opposed to smart, rational, caring people is hardly even fair. So, why don't you crawl back into your little hole and go preach to a wall. I'll bet that wall gives a hundred more sh*ts then I do. Than anyone does. You need to stop trying to change the lifestyles of people you've never met. -Aidyn
Aidyn, lag is what seems to be a new troll within this normally "live and let live" peaceful bunch of boredpandas Your eloquence, intelligence, insightfulness, and self-awareness is something to be admired - it shows a wonderful character. Please now that the *majority* of us, are totally ok with the life you want to live, because quite frankly, it's *your* life. Just as we don't want someone to dictate to us how we should live, we don't want to dictate to others. I hope you're surrounded by people who both respect and support you in your life journey. If not, please know that you have a tribe of us in here, from all around the world, that wish you only good things.
Aidyn -- This old as dirt gender queer queen just wanted to let you know it *does* get better. I hear you. Thirteen sucks. Hating one's body is miserable. The unkind things people say are really painful. And the freedom of adulthood still feels like it is unbearably far away. But keep true to yourself, keep moving forward, it is worth it, you are worth it! You are articulate and you have a fire in your spirit and you will find your tribe if you haven't already. It gets much, much better.
*HUGS* You're beautiful Aidyn, please remember that for every lag out there there's at least a hundred of us who fully support you being who you are.
Sorry, I pressed the wrong button. I hope you will love yourself for who you are. You are amazing, every loving and caring person is amazing. I haven't read lag his response, but if he were disrespectful I apologize. He doesn't speak for all of us. I hope you will find happiness.
I hope know more people support you than it may seem online. I think you (and all of us) were born in the exact right body because it yours! It is yours to figure out, enjoy, use, modify if and however you want, dress it up however, show it off, hide it, whatever. You get to decide.
I think many of the haters have their own gender identity issues and they get triggered. As society gets more tolerant they’ll probably calm down.
I hope you will love yourself. There's a
@Chev Neck and @Alex Harris Please go bother someone else with your arrogant opinion Thanks! -A
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
please check out the karolinska institute gender dysphoria study done in a span of over 30yrs,before you change anything on your body study been done in sweden
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
hey ava oooooooooooof
Brayden stop
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Your body is right. Your mind... I don't think so...
You don't think. You needed a full stop a bit earlier in that sentence.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Should have beat your kids ass instead of letting them turn into this generation of virtue signaling whiners we have now. It's alright in a couple years this ideology will be a forgotten blip. XX or XY
Whiners? People who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, trans, queer, non-binary or something else, have the fucking right to do so. I'm raised a catholic and in the past few years a whole bunch of shit came out, where the priests, who say gays are the devil, have been proven to abuse young boys. Disgusting things, which made me doubt religion. It's 2019, yet somehow you're still living in the 16th century. Be glad people have the right to claim what they feel, to be open about it. I'm a 100% straight male and the only problem I have with the LBGTQ-etc. are the homophobes ruining the lives of them. And you are one of those!
Whiners? People who identify themselves as gay, trans, auee
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
BTW Aidyn if your parent did their fucking job they would have told you a 13 year old is a Minor and has absolutely no say in these matters.
You really want to go there? Okay you get the motherfucking burn. If a parent were to be as shallow as you are, they don't deserve to be named a parent. They are either a sperm donor, or child-bearer. A parent would love their child for whom he/she/it is. If my child would come out of the closet, or tells me they don't identify their gender, I would go every extra mile to make them happy. I won't be a man saying they are wrong for what they feel, I will make the journey with them. Right beside them every fucking step of the way. And if there were to be a shallow asshole like you, I would deal with your negativity, because they sure as hell don't need that kind of shit in their lives. You are part of the problem. Because of people like you, fine human beings are hurting themselves, or even take their own lives. And if I were to be your child, I would hate you and resent you for all this bullshit you are daring to say. They don't choose to be who they are, they just are. People like you are the pillar of the hatred among us. So there you have it. And I know you won't change your believes, because change requires brainactivity.
Rain’s patience and compassion are incredible. This is so lovely and inspiring. ❤️
Eat a Snickers, lag.
Ana J, I'm not exactly sure why you're even bothering to stay here. You won't get anywhere with this bunch. I read all your previous comments and I was a bit confused why you were getting downvoted. Now that your patience has clearly been degraded to practically nothing, most of your downvotes I'd say you probably deserve, though :P (Strangely enough, i noticed they began to directly insult you far more once the 13 year old came into the chat) Honestly, why are you wasting so much time here though? I suggest searching for somwhere that's actually centrist if you desire to have a legitimate debate. Note: for some reason I couldn't reply directly to you
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Rain is talking to herself. This is so fake. Great stock photo though!
*THEMSELF RESPECT THE PRONOUNS