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Parents Won’t Let Their Daughter Sleep Long Enough After Night Shifts, Are Surprised When She Finally Yells At Them
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Parents Won’t Let Their Daughter Sleep Long Enough After Night Shifts, Are Surprised When She Finally Yells At Them

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We all have the same 24 hours in the day. Only the way we arrange and use them can be totally different.

Last week, Reddit user Better Arachnid submitted their personal story to the subreddit “Am I the A***ole?“, asking its members to help her figure out if she’s causing her family unnecessary trouble.

You see, the woman lives with her parents and works nights. However, they still want her to live according to their schedule and spend time together, insisting that their daughter has to adapt to the household.

But Better Arachnid isn’t willing to compromise her sleep and prioritizes it over enjoying the mornings together.

Unable to find common ground, the woman and her parents started fighting over her daily routine and eventually the situation got a little out of hand. Now, she is torn. On one hand, she needs sleep to function but on the other, she isn’t sure if she’s handling the conflict right.

This 24-year-old is working nights to support herself but her parents—who she is still living with—aren’t supporting her

Image credits: Liza Summe (not the actual photo)

They want their daughter to function just on a few hours of sleep so the family could spend time together

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Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

There’s a common belief that people like Better Arachnid who continue to live with their family entering adulthood are spoiled and too lazy to take care of themselves.

And you can understand why someone might think that. After all, a record share of young adults moved in with their parents during the coronavirus pandemic. The figure reached 52% in July 2020, soon after millions relocated due to lockdowns.

But “the higher prevalence of living with parents among those 18-24 at the end of 2020 was almost entirely university students living in their parents’ homes, and not young adults in the labor force,” Daniel McCue, a researcher at the Harvard Joint Center for Housing Studies, noted.

As restrictions eased, the numbers went down to pre-pandemic levels. According to data from October 2021, 46.5% of young adults now live with their parents.

The woman then asked people to judge who was in the wrong, and everyone unanimously said she’s NTA not the a***ole

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Jeffrey Arnett, a senior research scholar at the Department of Psychology, Clark University, has been studying 18-to-29-year-olds, an age group he calls emerging adults, for over 30 years now.

Arnett describes their in-between status as no longer adolescents, but not yet fully adult. “Although 52% [was] the highest percentage in over a century, this number has, in fact, been rising steadily since hitting a low of 29% in 1960,” the scholar wrote in The Conversation. “The main reason for the rise is that more and more young people continued their education into their 20s as the economy shifted from manufacturing to information and technology. When they’re enrolled in school, most don’t make enough money to live independently.”

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Before 1900, it was typical for young people in the US to live at home until they married in their mid-20s, and there was nothing shameful about it. “They usually started working by their early teens – it was rare then for kids to get even a high school education – and their families relied upon the extra income,” Arnett explained. “Virginity for young women was highly prized, so it was moving out before marriage that was scandalous, not staying home where they could be shielded from young men.”

“In most of the world today, it is still typical for emerging adults to stay home until at least their late 20s. In countries where collectivism is more highly valued than individualism – in places as diverse as Italy, Japan, and Mexico – parents mostly prefer to have their emerging adults stay home until marriage. In fact, even after marriage, it remains a common cultural tradition for a young man to bring his wife into his parents’ household rather than move out.”

In today’s individualistic U.S., however, most people expect kids to hit the road by age 18 or 19 so they can learn to be independent and self-sufficient. But can you label someone who works nights to support themselves as lazy? Even if you disapprove of their choice, sabotaging their well-being isn’t the way to communicate that.

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ferialexonar avatar
Steve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do these people not understand the concept of someone working overnight and needing to sleep in the day?

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They act incredibly self-centred. They could have compromised, such as getting up early for breakfast with their child, having supper with them, etc. They're also setting a bad example for the younger brother to follow.

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courtneyxx avatar
Ghosts
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like someone said in the thread, start calling them whist at work, like 4am.

cinzabeary avatar
LagoonaBlueColleen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was like this with my night working ex. He worked 12 hour nights and she expected him to be up during the day to spend time with our daughter and help out with housework, and just be available all the time. I had tried to reason with her and tell her he needs his sleep so he's not driving around all night sleep deprived. She took it as "making excuses for his laziness". She's also a big narcissist who only sees things her way, refusing to compromise for anyone. So, she'd make plans and expect him to be present. Of course he wouldn't and she'd spend the entire time bitching about how he "doesn't care about us." These parents remind me of my mom. Doesn't sound like they'll ever change their perspective. She needs to move out.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On Reddit, they said that there is a housing crisis in their state. They'd have to move to another state, which would mean finding a new job. That might not be easy early in one's career. On the other hand, if the parents are pissed off at not seeing their child mid-day, wait till they don't see them except a few times a year!

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leighannebrown-pedersen avatar
LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people don’t understand nights. And many devalue night work. I work mostly overnights in a hospital. Wake up at 430, do some gym time. Shower ar 530, out the door by 625 and work 7-7. Out of the hospital by 730. Hopefully sleep by 9. Doesn’t matter if it’s am or pm. I work with professionals saving lives in a world that doesn’t quit.

stellalehggs avatar
StellaLehggs
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have absolutely lost my s**t on them. I worked nights for about a year while I was going to school full time, and at one point was working full nights and full days for about a month, during my summer semester where I didn't have classes, getting 4 hours of sleep a day if I was LUCKY, and it sucks. Hard. No way. Night shift sucks by itself. Your sleep and sense of time get so f****d. They are ABSOLUTELY the assholes.

tierna77 avatar
advice5cents
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's not even 4 hours. If she gets home at 7:30 and is able to drop off almost instantly after cleaning up and changing, it's 3 hours AT BEST. I'd be homicidal

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viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years back, I found out that I was the only person who waited till the afternoon to call a friend who worked nights. Not even her mother respected that.

onevoice avatar
One Voice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hope this gal can afford to move soon. I worked rotating shift work for awhile , and that is even more brutal that straight shifts- had to consciously mark off calender days to know what day it was.- it ages one in dog years.

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juniperbushes avatar
Gin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Curious as to why the rest of the family appear to have nothing else to do during the day... I know there are possible explanations but still. Definitely NTA. They need to respect her need for sleep and let her plan her day so that it best suits her shift working. They're being manipulative and selfish.

savannahmanis avatar
Dog Fanatic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should be petty and start waking them up any time she sees that they're asleep

mikeykliss avatar
Mikey Kliss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this post missing some of her comment? It feels like it ends abruptly with her Dad yelling at her

greg90814 avatar
ladyinterference avatar
Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you click on the link you see that Bored Panda cuts off the very end of the post. Here's the rest of it (starting at the beginning of the paragraph for context): "This morning they picked the lock and sent my brother in to wake me up, saying that he misses me. I took him back downstairs and handed him to dad saying that I still need more sleep. Dad started raising his voice about how I'm barely even a part of the family anymore. I began yelling that I need my sleep so I can function during my shifts and that it's not like I'm unemployed and staying up all night just so I can sleep all day. He couldn't believe that I yelled back but I didn't stick around and went back to sleep (this time moving my dresser in front of the door) Neither of my parents are talking to me at the moment. Edit: Moving out is not an option."

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victoriapegoraro avatar
Victoria
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even working late nights (til 9PM or 10PM) is frowned upon when the person working that shift sleeps in... "Just go to bed earlier!" Ok... sooo if I'm off @ 9PM and you work a 9AM-5PM my midnight is your 8PM ... are you going to bed at 8PM? I think not... STFU

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just wake them up, when you come from work, telling them, you'd like to hang with them for a bit. They shoudl eventually get the thint and stop harrassing you. I would havve thought, the concept of night-shifts is easy to understand, but, appparently, it isn't.

zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either the parents want her out of the house or there is something seriously wrong with them. How can they not understand that someone needs more sleep that 3.5 hours?

maiseymyles avatar
Maisey Myles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her parents are being ridiculous- but to play devil's advocate here- maybe they're driving her nuts so she will move out. Just a thought but her parents are odd.

ladyinterference avatar
Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you read the whole of the OP she explains that moving out isn't an option where she lives, so that would be even more cruel of them if that were the case.

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safyra199421 avatar
Ausrine Ciapaite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story reminds me of someone I know. His parents would barge into his room whenever they felt like it, without even knocking. Communicating didn't work so moving out was the only option. I personally think that was their passive way of making him to move out.

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've noticed ever since I was a teenager many, many years ago that older folks are of the mistaken belief that young people don't need as much sleep as they themselves do. ("Well you're young, you don't need sleep.") Unfortunately the opposite is true. The younger you are the MORE sleep you need.

scheiszhaus avatar
Alexej Dvorak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sooo, that part where she allegedly yells at her parents like the article's title promised was lost on the cutting room floor I suppose?

ladyinterference avatar
Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you click on the link you see that Bored Panda cuts off the very end of the post. Here's the rest of it (starting at the beginning of the paragraph for context): "This morning they picked the lock and sent my brother in to wake me up, saying that he misses me. I took him back downstairs and handed him to dad saying that I still need more sleep. Dad started raising his voice about how I'm barely even a part of the family anymore. I began yelling that I need my sleep so I can function during my shifts and that it's not like I'm unemployed and staying up all night just so I can sleep all day. He couldn't believe that I yelled back but I didn't stick around and went back to sleep (this time moving my dresser in front of the door) Neither of my parents are talking to me at the moment. Edit: Moving out is not an option."

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saltae950 avatar
Saltea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How come the parents not feel worried for their daughter not having enough sleep so she can function later? Do you rather have your child feeling miserable and unhealthy for sleep deprivation? Lol

rayarani avatar
Ray Arani
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember completely adjusting my schedule for my dad's night shifts as a teen. He drove a tow truck and I was homeschooled, so I just stayed up at night and went to work with him, then we slept all morning, and either hung out or did our own things in the afternoons. We hadn't been allowed to know each other when I was younger, so it was essential bonding time for us. When I was in my early twenties and struggling with a group of men who were harassing me, (cops did nothing), he dropped his entire life and moved from south Florida to northwest Washington to look out for me. Stayed almost two years despite hating the climate, made sure I was okay before he left. We are so unconventional as a family, my dad and I, yet it never occured to us not to strive to understand and support each other with whatever was happening in our lives. Sounds like the OPs parents are around all day, so should adjust their schedule if spending time as a family is so important to them.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d suggest spending time with them as requested and use that time to fully vent your feelings about what they are doing. Use the power of incessant complaining. They value their comfort above all, so make it more comfortable for them to not … torture you through sleep deprivation.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg, that’s toxic AF!! So sorry you have to put up with such a jerk fam. I’m assuming you can’t get your own place or move in with anyone else who could support you ... & I’m guessing your wages help to pay rent/utilities? If this is the case, you should tell them that they either stop harassing you over your sleeping schedule or else you will quit your job altogether; since they obviously really want you to be free during the day. You do however need to make it clear that IF you do; you won’t be contributing money towards home costs, as you’ll be jobless in order to make time for them. With any luck, they’ll realise the douchbaggery attitude they’ve been strutting with & leave you in peace. If not, I would suggest trying to find an alternate place to stay, hon. If they continue to do what they’re doing, they’ll not stop until you’ve lost your job &/or become very ill from the lack of sleep & provoked emotional stress. Hope you’re able to escape this situation, hon. 🥺💔🤷‍♀️

walterhynson avatar
Walter Hynson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a simular problem with my older retired parents , They could not understand me working form 10:00 pm to 10:00am ,untill I showed them a paycheck and when they picked their mouths up off the floor they understood to leave me sleeping .

tomoneill_1 avatar
tom oneill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my brother a lot back in the day, father dearest always told me to wake my brother up to eat dinner to whicb i always said no and ate the dinner made for him. He wakes up when he's ready and makes his own food, OP is NTA.

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it any different if she had a day job and wasn't even home during those hours? If it's so important to them for her to be around then they should start paying her to live/work at the house because she won't be able to hold down a job like this. Seriously, it sounds like she's the only one who has ever worked "non-traditional" hours (even though I'm perfectly aware that night shifts have been a thing forever). Yeah, time to start calling them at 3am.

margomurdock avatar
Margo Murdock
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk about controlling passive aggressive What are your parents doing at home all day? Do they work from home? Yes absolutely call them on your break look for your own place perhaps a roommate to share expenses maybe someone at work.

vladimiramat avatar
Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

there are ppl who do wake up around midday after their night shift as they have trouble adjusting to changing schedule or they dont need so much sleeping time or they want to enjoy the day. that does not mean it applies to everyone. if you need that sleep your family should respect that definitely

joshuarenoir avatar
Joshua Renoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a day off. Keep them up during your typical "work shift" and then when they try to sleep it off wake them up and try to have them do their family time. Only way (i see it) for them to understand is to experience it themselves.

kellybrooke3091 avatar
Ashley Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It could be cultural. I've know a couple people who dealt with the same kind of disrespect. They were from different families but the parents were from the same country. Kids aren't people independent from the family and aren't treated as though they are adults until they marry and have children. It could be the same kind of deal....

kellyerin avatar
kelly erin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would wake them up at 7:30am, when she gets home, and insist they hang out then instead of midday. Also, are both parents retired? Why midday?

williamstevenson avatar
William Stevenson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual hell? The crap expert comments in this are claiming that people aren't really adults until they're 30? People used to protest and fight being infantilized. Lowering the voting age to 18 was considered a step forward. How did we get to this point?

andyfrobig avatar
Andy Frobig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked graveyards for years. For a while I lived with a girlfriend who worked mornings, or sometimes not at all. One day I got home at 9 am and she woke me up at noon--with a squirt gun--because she was bored! But she was 19 so immaturity was part of the package. If my parents pulled this on me, I would try to live anywhere but with them.

katiehayes_3 avatar
DrGirlfriend
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work overnights, and I'd start calling them showing up ,if possible, on my lunch break so they get the time difference. What jerks of parents they are, poor kid

faramalik99 avatar
TrashPanda99
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude.. my mom literally like those parents. I'm an illustrator and a college students (due to pandemic i have to live with my parents), i barely sleep because i had a lot of college project and sidejob back then, I always sleep around 4 am. My mom always wake me up at 6 am with yelling like godzilla's gave birth 7 son, almost entire neighborhood heard that so she can put shame on me (there's a stereotype that girls who wake up more than 6 am are f lazy people) maybe she think with that way i can change to be perfect diligent daughter. I'm tired mentally and physically almost 2 years, i had enough with that sh*t then i moved out. She was disappointed and first sentence came out was "if you move and who the hell is going to give money?"

infectedvoice avatar
InfectedVoice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do nights sometimes, I finish at 7am then take the dogs out, my wife will leave me in peace until I get up myself, I would probably murder her if she didn't, this is madness.

esiaa avatar
Esiaa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really pisses me off when people think you're lazy for sleeping during the day, when they know you work all night. I had several friends who would call me at 11 am to either ask a stupid question or just to chat and then they would get mad at me when I wanted to go back to sleep. Is it so hard to understand that when I work at night, your day is my night?

sillydragonfly4 avatar
SillyDragonfly4
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a friend they don't know come to dinner. He should costume up into a rough looking/smelling character with equally rough manners. When he leaves, announce that you are moving in with him bc they will not let you get enough sleep. They'll stop pestering and start pleading. 🤣

xqueenbee59x avatar
Spittnimage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How old is the brother if she "took him back downstairs and handed him to dad?" Is he a toddler?

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably a young teenager. Handing him to dad I took to mean, she got up and walked him downstairs to their father and said, "Here! I'm sleeping. DO NOT SEND HIM INTO MY ROOM AGAIN!" Like physically walking him down the stairs was to get her point across to them.

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kittieskittykitty avatar
Angel Brede
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do retired parents have a "brother" young enough to be handed off? Aka under four years old? Is it even a brother or is it her own son she is ditching by taking a night job? What kind of job would this woman even qualify for right out of high school? A minimum wage job that can end up causing her perminant physical damage from over taxing her back. One of those corporate Joe jobs that will leave you in a thirty year financial rut. Maybe mom and dad think that job is wearing her out needlessly. Maybe they want better for her but they can't get her up long enough to listen and maybe to plan with them because she only sees this as them trying to stop her from evading her responsibilities by sleeping all day and working all night expecting them to take care of her mistake kid. In which case them breaking in and just sending in the kid is really tame. This is her family and the parents are right. There are too many jobs out there to kill yourself on a dead end one.

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the fk article did you read? She doesn't HAVE a kid! They send her younger brother in to wake her up. & She's NOT right out of High School, she's 24. Are you illiterate or is English just not your first language? &

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smkelly711 avatar
Tiredofpayingforothers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She may not be the a*****e, but she can easily solve this problem by moving out of her parents house and getting her own place.

rtyler avatar
Helena Reynolds
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Why doesn't she move out and get a place of her own and then she wouldn't have to worry about having her sleep disturbed1

sarahjones_4 avatar
LandAhoy
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Most people prefer to work first, then relax/ have free time, then sleep, in that order. I certainly do. Why not try sticking with doing things in that order, despite the time difference? When you come home at 7.30am, that could be your "evening " / free time. Then go to bed at say 2pm, giving you 8 hours sleep before getting up at 10pm and starting work. You might enjoy your free time more because its not directly before work, so it'll feel like an evening, even though its the morning. And your family get to spend time with you in the morning, and you get plenty of sleep.

juliaartigue avatar
juice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's a good suggestion, but her problem is more that her parents aren't respecting the schedule she already has. maybe they could come to some sort of compromise

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courtneyxx avatar
Ghosts
Community Member
1 year ago

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Selling your a**e for crack money is not considered legitimate employment.

cinzabeary avatar
billramsdell avatar
viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The state has a severe house crisis, unfortunately. She'd have to sleep in a broom closet at work (if any quiet space is available).

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ferialexonar avatar
Steve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do these people not understand the concept of someone working overnight and needing to sleep in the day?

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They act incredibly self-centred. They could have compromised, such as getting up early for breakfast with their child, having supper with them, etc. They're also setting a bad example for the younger brother to follow.

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courtneyxx avatar
Ghosts
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like someone said in the thread, start calling them whist at work, like 4am.

cinzabeary avatar
LagoonaBlueColleen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was like this with my night working ex. He worked 12 hour nights and she expected him to be up during the day to spend time with our daughter and help out with housework, and just be available all the time. I had tried to reason with her and tell her he needs his sleep so he's not driving around all night sleep deprived. She took it as "making excuses for his laziness". She's also a big narcissist who only sees things her way, refusing to compromise for anyone. So, she'd make plans and expect him to be present. Of course he wouldn't and she'd spend the entire time bitching about how he "doesn't care about us." These parents remind me of my mom. Doesn't sound like they'll ever change their perspective. She needs to move out.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On Reddit, they said that there is a housing crisis in their state. They'd have to move to another state, which would mean finding a new job. That might not be easy early in one's career. On the other hand, if the parents are pissed off at not seeing their child mid-day, wait till they don't see them except a few times a year!

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leighannebrown-pedersen avatar
LeighAnne Brown-Pedersen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people don’t understand nights. And many devalue night work. I work mostly overnights in a hospital. Wake up at 430, do some gym time. Shower ar 530, out the door by 625 and work 7-7. Out of the hospital by 730. Hopefully sleep by 9. Doesn’t matter if it’s am or pm. I work with professionals saving lives in a world that doesn’t quit.

stellalehggs avatar
StellaLehggs
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have absolutely lost my s**t on them. I worked nights for about a year while I was going to school full time, and at one point was working full nights and full days for about a month, during my summer semester where I didn't have classes, getting 4 hours of sleep a day if I was LUCKY, and it sucks. Hard. No way. Night shift sucks by itself. Your sleep and sense of time get so f****d. They are ABSOLUTELY the assholes.

tierna77 avatar
advice5cents
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's not even 4 hours. If she gets home at 7:30 and is able to drop off almost instantly after cleaning up and changing, it's 3 hours AT BEST. I'd be homicidal

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viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years back, I found out that I was the only person who waited till the afternoon to call a friend who worked nights. Not even her mother respected that.

onevoice avatar
One Voice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hope this gal can afford to move soon. I worked rotating shift work for awhile , and that is even more brutal that straight shifts- had to consciously mark off calender days to know what day it was.- it ages one in dog years.

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Gin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Curious as to why the rest of the family appear to have nothing else to do during the day... I know there are possible explanations but still. Definitely NTA. They need to respect her need for sleep and let her plan her day so that it best suits her shift working. They're being manipulative and selfish.

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Dog Fanatic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should be petty and start waking them up any time she sees that they're asleep

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Mikey Kliss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this post missing some of her comment? It feels like it ends abruptly with her Dad yelling at her

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ladyinterference avatar
Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you click on the link you see that Bored Panda cuts off the very end of the post. Here's the rest of it (starting at the beginning of the paragraph for context): "This morning they picked the lock and sent my brother in to wake me up, saying that he misses me. I took him back downstairs and handed him to dad saying that I still need more sleep. Dad started raising his voice about how I'm barely even a part of the family anymore. I began yelling that I need my sleep so I can function during my shifts and that it's not like I'm unemployed and staying up all night just so I can sleep all day. He couldn't believe that I yelled back but I didn't stick around and went back to sleep (this time moving my dresser in front of the door) Neither of my parents are talking to me at the moment. Edit: Moving out is not an option."

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Victoria
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even working late nights (til 9PM or 10PM) is frowned upon when the person working that shift sleeps in... "Just go to bed earlier!" Ok... sooo if I'm off @ 9PM and you work a 9AM-5PM my midnight is your 8PM ... are you going to bed at 8PM? I think not... STFU

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Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just wake them up, when you come from work, telling them, you'd like to hang with them for a bit. They shoudl eventually get the thint and stop harrassing you. I would havve thought, the concept of night-shifts is easy to understand, but, appparently, it isn't.

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Trillian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either the parents want her out of the house or there is something seriously wrong with them. How can they not understand that someone needs more sleep that 3.5 hours?

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Maisey Myles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her parents are being ridiculous- but to play devil's advocate here- maybe they're driving her nuts so she will move out. Just a thought but her parents are odd.

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Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you read the whole of the OP she explains that moving out isn't an option where she lives, so that would be even more cruel of them if that were the case.

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Ausrine Ciapaite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story reminds me of someone I know. His parents would barge into his room whenever they felt like it, without even knocking. Communicating didn't work so moving out was the only option. I personally think that was their passive way of making him to move out.

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've noticed ever since I was a teenager many, many years ago that older folks are of the mistaken belief that young people don't need as much sleep as they themselves do. ("Well you're young, you don't need sleep.") Unfortunately the opposite is true. The younger you are the MORE sleep you need.

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Alexej Dvorak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sooo, that part where she allegedly yells at her parents like the article's title promised was lost on the cutting room floor I suppose?

ladyinterference avatar
Diane Aguilar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you click on the link you see that Bored Panda cuts off the very end of the post. Here's the rest of it (starting at the beginning of the paragraph for context): "This morning they picked the lock and sent my brother in to wake me up, saying that he misses me. I took him back downstairs and handed him to dad saying that I still need more sleep. Dad started raising his voice about how I'm barely even a part of the family anymore. I began yelling that I need my sleep so I can function during my shifts and that it's not like I'm unemployed and staying up all night just so I can sleep all day. He couldn't believe that I yelled back but I didn't stick around and went back to sleep (this time moving my dresser in front of the door) Neither of my parents are talking to me at the moment. Edit: Moving out is not an option."

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Saltea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How come the parents not feel worried for their daughter not having enough sleep so she can function later? Do you rather have your child feeling miserable and unhealthy for sleep deprivation? Lol

rayarani avatar
Ray Arani
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember completely adjusting my schedule for my dad's night shifts as a teen. He drove a tow truck and I was homeschooled, so I just stayed up at night and went to work with him, then we slept all morning, and either hung out or did our own things in the afternoons. We hadn't been allowed to know each other when I was younger, so it was essential bonding time for us. When I was in my early twenties and struggling with a group of men who were harassing me, (cops did nothing), he dropped his entire life and moved from south Florida to northwest Washington to look out for me. Stayed almost two years despite hating the climate, made sure I was okay before he left. We are so unconventional as a family, my dad and I, yet it never occured to us not to strive to understand and support each other with whatever was happening in our lives. Sounds like the OPs parents are around all day, so should adjust their schedule if spending time as a family is so important to them.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d suggest spending time with them as requested and use that time to fully vent your feelings about what they are doing. Use the power of incessant complaining. They value their comfort above all, so make it more comfortable for them to not … torture you through sleep deprivation.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg, that’s toxic AF!! So sorry you have to put up with such a jerk fam. I’m assuming you can’t get your own place or move in with anyone else who could support you ... & I’m guessing your wages help to pay rent/utilities? If this is the case, you should tell them that they either stop harassing you over your sleeping schedule or else you will quit your job altogether; since they obviously really want you to be free during the day. You do however need to make it clear that IF you do; you won’t be contributing money towards home costs, as you’ll be jobless in order to make time for them. With any luck, they’ll realise the douchbaggery attitude they’ve been strutting with & leave you in peace. If not, I would suggest trying to find an alternate place to stay, hon. If they continue to do what they’re doing, they’ll not stop until you’ve lost your job &/or become very ill from the lack of sleep & provoked emotional stress. Hope you’re able to escape this situation, hon. 🥺💔🤷‍♀️

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Walter Hynson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a simular problem with my older retired parents , They could not understand me working form 10:00 pm to 10:00am ,untill I showed them a paycheck and when they picked their mouths up off the floor they understood to leave me sleeping .

tomoneill_1 avatar
tom oneill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my brother a lot back in the day, father dearest always told me to wake my brother up to eat dinner to whicb i always said no and ate the dinner made for him. He wakes up when he's ready and makes his own food, OP is NTA.

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I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it any different if she had a day job and wasn't even home during those hours? If it's so important to them for her to be around then they should start paying her to live/work at the house because she won't be able to hold down a job like this. Seriously, it sounds like she's the only one who has ever worked "non-traditional" hours (even though I'm perfectly aware that night shifts have been a thing forever). Yeah, time to start calling them at 3am.

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Margo Murdock
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk about controlling passive aggressive What are your parents doing at home all day? Do they work from home? Yes absolutely call them on your break look for your own place perhaps a roommate to share expenses maybe someone at work.

vladimiramat avatar
Vladimíra Matejová
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

there are ppl who do wake up around midday after their night shift as they have trouble adjusting to changing schedule or they dont need so much sleeping time or they want to enjoy the day. that does not mean it applies to everyone. if you need that sleep your family should respect that definitely

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Joshua Renoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a day off. Keep them up during your typical "work shift" and then when they try to sleep it off wake them up and try to have them do their family time. Only way (i see it) for them to understand is to experience it themselves.

kellybrooke3091 avatar
Ashley Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It could be cultural. I've know a couple people who dealt with the same kind of disrespect. They were from different families but the parents were from the same country. Kids aren't people independent from the family and aren't treated as though they are adults until they marry and have children. It could be the same kind of deal....

kellyerin avatar
kelly erin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would wake them up at 7:30am, when she gets home, and insist they hang out then instead of midday. Also, are both parents retired? Why midday?

williamstevenson avatar
William Stevenson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual hell? The crap expert comments in this are claiming that people aren't really adults until they're 30? People used to protest and fight being infantilized. Lowering the voting age to 18 was considered a step forward. How did we get to this point?

andyfrobig avatar
Andy Frobig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked graveyards for years. For a while I lived with a girlfriend who worked mornings, or sometimes not at all. One day I got home at 9 am and she woke me up at noon--with a squirt gun--because she was bored! But she was 19 so immaturity was part of the package. If my parents pulled this on me, I would try to live anywhere but with them.

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DrGirlfriend
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work overnights, and I'd start calling them showing up ,if possible, on my lunch break so they get the time difference. What jerks of parents they are, poor kid

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TrashPanda99
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude.. my mom literally like those parents. I'm an illustrator and a college students (due to pandemic i have to live with my parents), i barely sleep because i had a lot of college project and sidejob back then, I always sleep around 4 am. My mom always wake me up at 6 am with yelling like godzilla's gave birth 7 son, almost entire neighborhood heard that so she can put shame on me (there's a stereotype that girls who wake up more than 6 am are f lazy people) maybe she think with that way i can change to be perfect diligent daughter. I'm tired mentally and physically almost 2 years, i had enough with that sh*t then i moved out. She was disappointed and first sentence came out was "if you move and who the hell is going to give money?"

infectedvoice avatar
InfectedVoice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do nights sometimes, I finish at 7am then take the dogs out, my wife will leave me in peace until I get up myself, I would probably murder her if she didn't, this is madness.

esiaa avatar
Esiaa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really pisses me off when people think you're lazy for sleeping during the day, when they know you work all night. I had several friends who would call me at 11 am to either ask a stupid question or just to chat and then they would get mad at me when I wanted to go back to sleep. Is it so hard to understand that when I work at night, your day is my night?

sillydragonfly4 avatar
SillyDragonfly4
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a friend they don't know come to dinner. He should costume up into a rough looking/smelling character with equally rough manners. When he leaves, announce that you are moving in with him bc they will not let you get enough sleep. They'll stop pestering and start pleading. 🤣

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Spittnimage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How old is the brother if she "took him back downstairs and handed him to dad?" Is he a toddler?

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably a young teenager. Handing him to dad I took to mean, she got up and walked him downstairs to their father and said, "Here! I'm sleeping. DO NOT SEND HIM INTO MY ROOM AGAIN!" Like physically walking him down the stairs was to get her point across to them.

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Angel Brede
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do retired parents have a "brother" young enough to be handed off? Aka under four years old? Is it even a brother or is it her own son she is ditching by taking a night job? What kind of job would this woman even qualify for right out of high school? A minimum wage job that can end up causing her perminant physical damage from over taxing her back. One of those corporate Joe jobs that will leave you in a thirty year financial rut. Maybe mom and dad think that job is wearing her out needlessly. Maybe they want better for her but they can't get her up long enough to listen and maybe to plan with them because she only sees this as them trying to stop her from evading her responsibilities by sleeping all day and working all night expecting them to take care of her mistake kid. In which case them breaking in and just sending in the kid is really tame. This is her family and the parents are right. There are too many jobs out there to kill yourself on a dead end one.

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the fk article did you read? She doesn't HAVE a kid! They send her younger brother in to wake her up. & She's NOT right out of High School, she's 24. Are you illiterate or is English just not your first language? &

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Tiredofpayingforothers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She may not be the a*****e, but she can easily solve this problem by moving out of her parents house and getting her own place.

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Helena Reynolds
Community Member
1 year ago

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Why doesn't she move out and get a place of her own and then she wouldn't have to worry about having her sleep disturbed1

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LandAhoy
Community Member
1 year ago

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Most people prefer to work first, then relax/ have free time, then sleep, in that order. I certainly do. Why not try sticking with doing things in that order, despite the time difference? When you come home at 7.30am, that could be your "evening " / free time. Then go to bed at say 2pm, giving you 8 hours sleep before getting up at 10pm and starting work. You might enjoy your free time more because its not directly before work, so it'll feel like an evening, even though its the morning. And your family get to spend time with you in the morning, and you get plenty of sleep.

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juice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's a good suggestion, but her problem is more that her parents aren't respecting the schedule she already has. maybe they could come to some sort of compromise

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Ghosts
Community Member
1 year ago

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Selling your a**e for crack money is not considered legitimate employment.

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viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The state has a severe house crisis, unfortunately. She'd have to sleep in a broom closet at work (if any quiet space is available).

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