Some nice guys aren’t actually nice, that’s for sure—they’re secretly so-called ‘nice guys’ who hide who they really are and can't ever take 'no' for an answer. Folks who seem polite, mild-mannered, friendly, and genuinely kind one moment can do a 180 and transform into angry, spiteful, and downright toxic people the moment things don’t go their way. Especially in situations involving romance and rejection.
‘Nice guys’ are more than happy to keep up the illusion of fake niceness, but they often show their true emotions and insecurities when rejected. And then their inner beasts come out. Beware anyone who’s within range! But let’s look at some specific examples, shall we?
TikTok user Keiren Benjamin features and voices stories about ‘nice guys’ that he finds online, including a very viral one about a woman getting stalked by a random guy after she went hiking. You’ll find the stories below. Let us know if you’ve ever been in a similar situation before, Pandas.
Fitness expert and entrepreneur Jack Bly gave Bored Panda some advice on improving for the better, the importance of having perspective, learning to self-reflect, building genuine confidence, and moving beyond a victim mentality. Scroll down for his thoughts.
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Nice Guys
The last message makes me want to circle back to when he said they were similar athletically…
I agree, but still this guy's way out of line regardless. Hopefully nobody interprets your post as victim blaming.
Load More Replies...Reminds me so much of a guy I worked with who told me about seeing a girl at an airport he thought was cute, he then pulled out Tinder and she popped up (probably coz of the close proximity) he swiped right on her, days later she hadn't swiped right on him so he reverse googled her pics till he found her insta and messaged her. What part of her not matching with you on Tinder makes you think she'd be interested?????
And when did stalking someone made them suddenly attracked to you? people are weird.
Load More Replies...It sucks, but these men are the result of American advertising, media, religion, toxic masculinity and all that crap. These men represent successful advertising campaigns. Where do we go from here?
I suggest a cull of advertising creatives - and I've worked with them so I know what I'm suggesting! 😉 It starts in the home with the parents giving their children the right messages. That's where you stop the toxic masculinity that is so harmful to men. You can keep going and include romantic movies where it shows men chasing women to ridiculous lengths.
Load More Replies..."Girls like you"... He doesn't know her, how does he know what she's like?
Dismantle the Patriarchy!I get this kinda crap on dating sites like pof and when I push back,I get kicked off.pof and Other dating sites promote abusive men and punish women that stand up for themselves.
Is it weird that I like this show as long as it doesn't happen to me?
Load More Replies...Sorry she should have just hug up and taken herself off air (or whatever it is called nowadays).
This is what I don't understand if you DON'T want people to "look" for you why IN THE HELL DO YOU POST EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF?????????????
All she posted was her location at a place that hundreds of people visit every day, you idiot. No one would ever imagine that some weird stranger is going to go through every single person who tagged a photo at a certain location at a certain time on a certain day so they can freaking stalk them.
Load More Replies..."Your like really fit and it stood out to me" switches me right off. Yes, people are attracted initially to looks but making THAT part of his opening bid? Nope. 1) he went to way too much effort and 2) he has no clue about appropriate behaviour. She obviously got it right anyway - look at where he took that conversation!! So, I might get downvoted but I'd suggest that you are missing the signal that she spotted. Sometimes you have to accept that you see someone attractive but it is NOT an opportunity. If it was, you do it there and then and accept it if you get told no. You don't track people down. (Edited for a typo.)
Load More Replies...Bored Panda asked Jack what advice he'd give those guys who seem to be stuck in a constant victim mentality and see themselves as being wronged by society and those around them. The expert said that people should start off with small tasks and minor victories.
"Do one thing and progress at it to prove you’re not a victim. Lift weights. Help someone. Advance your career. Have a successful relationship," he said. "When you’re successful in one area you build confidence in yourself and that will translate to all of your life."
He added that we need time to adjust to the positive changes we're making in life: "Your brain needs proof around your new identity."
Nice Guy Is Mad That I Have Guy Friends
Patience Is Rare Nowadays
Okay so first of all...brilliant last line by her. Secondly, he waited 9mins...there are songs longer than 9mins.
A lot of so-called 'nice guys' pretend that they have a lot of confidence in themselves, however, that illusion can quickly shatter when they're faced even with small challenges or if things don't go as they envisioned. When their expectations aren't met, 'nice guys' tend to get angry at those around them. That's something an actually confident person would never do: they would accept being rejected and simply move on.
However, true confidence is a skill that we can all learn, though it will take time, patience, and persistence. "Confidence comes from repetition and mastery. The more you do ANYTHING, the more confident you become. The good news about this is everyone is capable of earning confidence," fitness expert Jack told Bored Panda that this applies to all facets of life.
I Genuinely Can't Tell If This Is Satire And I'm Just Too Hopeless To Pick Up On It?
A Comment On A Post About A Woman Begging Her Stalker Of 5 Years To Leave Her Alone
This Is Poetry
Jack explained that it's important to reflect about yourself and how you can improve your life, especially in cases where real-life doesn't match up with how you view yourself.
"Responding to failure is all about the story we tell ourselves. Do you tell yourself that you are a failure? Or do you tell yourself you failed, have now gotten feedback, and know how to get better? It’s all our perspective," he said.
I Left Him On Read Again After That
Thinks He's A Gift From God
My man there's reasons why single women are the happiest out of married/single men/women and you're all of them
My Mom Has Been On One Date With This Guy
‘Nice guys’ very often embody the traits that some professionals consider to be examples of toxic masculinity, especially with regards to attitudes toward women. ‘Nice guys’ tend to lash out at women when rejected or think that they owe them their attention just because they happen to like them. According to British psychotherapist Silva Neves, toxic masculinity is a “general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny.”
The expert told Bored Panda that toxic masculinity is “a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.” Silva said that these ideas include the suggestions that men should never be ‘weak’ or ‘soft,’ that they shouldn’t ever feel vulnerable, and that they have to “always be winners.”
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the psychotherapist explained.
2,845 Days Later
Nice Guy
Uh, another controlling, delusional guy who can't take no as an answer
Didn’t Answer His Text For A While… I Never Met Him And We Had Been Texting For A Few Days
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” Silva noted how healthy masculinity differs from toxic masculinity.
Someone who has a healthy masculine attitude, according to the expert, “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
He Just Wanted To Treat Me Right
He just could have left it at "understood, thanks." But NOPE! He couldn't!
Others: Women Don't Owe You Anything Him: False
"I have studied women for quite some time" sounds like a medieval illustrator trying to convince someone he has seen all of those exotic animals he has drawn.
Damn Her For Not Accepting Gifts From A Total Stranger
How about you see a girl sitting alone at the train station and just leave her alone.
Silva, the British psychotherapist, believes that it’s important to redefine masculinity and how we understand ‘male success.’ “We also need to change the image of 'male success'. So, basically, we need to change society at its core because toxic masculinity is part of a faulty system of thoughts. That will take time, but it can start with all of us doing our parts about it,” he mused.
One of the things that can help, Silva believes, is having more representations of men “who embrace their emotions, talk about them, and show them crying, laughing, or hugging” in real-life and various forms of media. The key point here, the expert stressed, is that men become more in tune with their emotions, instead of repressing them which can lead to a whole host of negative outcomes for them and everyone around them.
This Guy Randomly Messaged Me After Nearly 2 Years And Is Mad That I Still Don’t Want To Date Him
Nice Guy Was Sympathetic About Her Gma Dying But Passive Aggressive On N*des That Never Happened
My Friend Sent Me This Dm That She Got And I Can’t Not Post It Here
“Better education is definitely key but it is also down to all of us to challenge it by not allowing toxic masculinity to keep going. It means that we all have to actively challenge misogyny and homophobia,” Silva said that some people still turn a blind eye to hatred. The process of change and a more compassionate, respectful, and inclusive world, he said, is long, exhausting, and an ongoing fight between competing ideas.
Man Had A Chance And Blew It
I’m starting to see that all these men are what they say they hate about women - illogical, over emotional, mood swings, too much talking, desperate, jealous…
A-Hole From My Old High-School Posted This Unironically Lmao
Comment On A Meme Of A Girl With Cleavage Talking About Her Necklace
Worst Selection And Placement Of Emojis I Have Ever Seen
A Gentleman Among Us
Repeat after me: You are not owed the benefir of the doubt. You are not owed a chance. If someone does not like you, THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU. They owe you exactly nothing! Get over yourself!
“Cr**gy Night” (Sent To Me By My Friend)
My Brother Posted This On Snapchat Lol
Nobody asks that anymore. This guy is stuck in like 1992. People either date until they find someone or they stay single and casual.
Dating Without Sex Is Like Being Put On Trial, Who Knew?!
Ta For Goading Him But It Was Funny
Women, think about your future children before you crush an incel. 😃
Nice Guys In Animal Crossing!
We Met Once. He’s 37
Sounds like he wants to compete with her past relationships. What a jerk!
Posted Byu/Cecinestpasunlogin 23 Days Ago Silver2 Reaction From “Friend” Of 5 Years To Me Leaving A Party With A Ons- Additional Context In Comments
Good lord, no wonder I'm single. I'm exhausted and ready to give up on humanity just from reading this.
I stopped after 9 I think. So much "I'm good, great, faaaaaanfuckingtastic" and she said NO. Then it's B!tch, c*nt, wh0re and other nasty words. Even threatening enough to wanna call the cops. Just a few days ago there was a "Heck Yeah" response for all the people here on BP who have had this happen to them. I stopped counting the responses and votes, Way too many which is very alarming. This makes me furious and sad and frustrated at the same time and I hate that feeling.
If I outlive my husband, I'm so never dating again. Just sign me up as Crazy Cat Lady, or even Lunatic Squirrel Keeper, but no thanks, not going out *there* again!
Can we be crazy cat ladies together? I like this idea :)
Load More Replies...Here's the thing. We can tell when all you want from us is sex. That's why we reject you, because you're absolutely uninterested in us as human beings. It becomes even more obvious when you switch from charming to psychopath the instant we take sex off the table. Grow up. Stop treating women like sex toys. Stop behaving as if we owe you sex, as if we don't have the right to say "no."
@boredpanda, change your title. These people are not insecure. They hate women. Pretending they are just insecure is a dangerous myth and avoids them having to take responsibility.
Well both are probably true. Their hate probably comes from their insecurities. Its easier to blame women than to acept their shortcomings
Load More Replies...OMG! This is so alarming. These men are single for a reason. They are missing a vital organ... their brain. I lost cells just reading this. It disgusted me and made me furious at the same time. No means no. End of subject!
Why do the women continue these conversations? Just block the creeps and be done with it.
Sometimes they hope that maybe they can get the guy to see that his behaviour is not cool So that he won’t subject the next Woman to the same nonsense
Load More Replies...Guys like this make me ashamed to have to be the same gender. On behalf of the rest of us: sincere apologies.
No need to apologize for other people! There are plenty of s****y and I don't apologize for them.
Load More Replies...Should check these guys for borderline personality disorder.. or a brain, whichever is easier to find
I think most of them could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. There was a lot of "it's all about me" in those conversations. Makes me not want to enter the dating pool anytime ever.
Load More Replies...Seriously, most if not all of these men need major professional help. Such degree of delusion and total lack of social and emotional awareness goes beyond just having insecurity and some misguided attitudes. Most sound like they have a personality disorder, massive anger issues, and who knows what else.
Any guy who can go from sweet talk to trash talk in the space of a cell phone screen is NOT a nice guy.
Online dating and social media have ruined things IMO. It's too superficial and shallow. People treat it like a market.
It was superficial and shallow before. I think social media made people have bigger egos and act more entitled. Superficial and shallow isn’t a problem if everyone consents. It’s a big problem to be entitled to shít you didn’t earn tho.
Load More Replies...I'm always scared to reject men. At least online i can nicely say im not interested then blocked them. Just last week i had to endure an unpleasant meeting because i was afraid he would start being even more aggressive if i told him no face to face
Good lord, no wonder I'm single. I'm exhausted and ready to give up on humanity just from reading this.
I stopped after 9 I think. So much "I'm good, great, faaaaaanfuckingtastic" and she said NO. Then it's B!tch, c*nt, wh0re and other nasty words. Even threatening enough to wanna call the cops. Just a few days ago there was a "Heck Yeah" response for all the people here on BP who have had this happen to them. I stopped counting the responses and votes, Way too many which is very alarming. This makes me furious and sad and frustrated at the same time and I hate that feeling.
If I outlive my husband, I'm so never dating again. Just sign me up as Crazy Cat Lady, or even Lunatic Squirrel Keeper, but no thanks, not going out *there* again!
Can we be crazy cat ladies together? I like this idea :)
Load More Replies...Here's the thing. We can tell when all you want from us is sex. That's why we reject you, because you're absolutely uninterested in us as human beings. It becomes even more obvious when you switch from charming to psychopath the instant we take sex off the table. Grow up. Stop treating women like sex toys. Stop behaving as if we owe you sex, as if we don't have the right to say "no."
@boredpanda, change your title. These people are not insecure. They hate women. Pretending they are just insecure is a dangerous myth and avoids them having to take responsibility.
Well both are probably true. Their hate probably comes from their insecurities. Its easier to blame women than to acept their shortcomings
Load More Replies...OMG! This is so alarming. These men are single for a reason. They are missing a vital organ... their brain. I lost cells just reading this. It disgusted me and made me furious at the same time. No means no. End of subject!
Why do the women continue these conversations? Just block the creeps and be done with it.
Sometimes they hope that maybe they can get the guy to see that his behaviour is not cool So that he won’t subject the next Woman to the same nonsense
Load More Replies...Guys like this make me ashamed to have to be the same gender. On behalf of the rest of us: sincere apologies.
No need to apologize for other people! There are plenty of s****y and I don't apologize for them.
Load More Replies...Should check these guys for borderline personality disorder.. or a brain, whichever is easier to find
I think most of them could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. There was a lot of "it's all about me" in those conversations. Makes me not want to enter the dating pool anytime ever.
Load More Replies...Seriously, most if not all of these men need major professional help. Such degree of delusion and total lack of social and emotional awareness goes beyond just having insecurity and some misguided attitudes. Most sound like they have a personality disorder, massive anger issues, and who knows what else.
Any guy who can go from sweet talk to trash talk in the space of a cell phone screen is NOT a nice guy.
Online dating and social media have ruined things IMO. It's too superficial and shallow. People treat it like a market.
It was superficial and shallow before. I think social media made people have bigger egos and act more entitled. Superficial and shallow isn’t a problem if everyone consents. It’s a big problem to be entitled to shít you didn’t earn tho.
Load More Replies...I'm always scared to reject men. At least online i can nicely say im not interested then blocked them. Just last week i had to endure an unpleasant meeting because i was afraid he would start being even more aggressive if i told him no face to face