Woman Tells Her Neighbor “No” To Buying More Than 80 Items At The Grocery Store, Drama Ensues
If there’s one universally accepted truth is that there’s no middle ground of what kind of neighbor you’ll get. Unless you have the finances of a Russian oligarch to allow yourself a quiet and remote corner of the earth (somewhere in New Zealand, we suppose), it’s a Wheel of Fortune where most spaces are occupied by ‘Karens‘, the no-poop-picker-uppers or the late-night lone ravers that are weirdly obsessed with online shopping and (“accidentally”) going through your mail.
Apparently, there’s now a type of folks next-doors that will take advantage of your neighborly generosity to make you their personal ‘grocery list’ with feet. Convenient? Yes. Shameless? Totally.
As the user u/Tiny-Charity tells it, she’s a single, working mom who lives in a rental house next to a married couple. All seemed normal before the stay-at-home wife, who also happens to get the mail for both houses, sent the author of the story her grocery shopping list right before Thanksgiving.
Feeling festive and thankful, the mom obliged to help her last-minute neighbor with some things she had. It’s Thanksgiving after all, right? And it would make for a sweet neighborly story if not for the fact that this continued to happen week after week. From a 20-thing lists to 80, without any offer to be paid back. Culminating with a face-to-face confrontation just to be called a jerk for not being able to help your 401k neighbors when you’re receiving ‘Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program’ (or ‘SNAP, formerly food stamps) assistance.
As the author-writer Maris Kreizman once put it in her Atlantic article: “Anyone who chooses to live in such close proximity to others knows how important it is to create boundaries and respect one another’s privacy.” That sounds nice. But when you’re manipulated into feeling like a lousy neighbor for something you were kind of forced into? That’s a tricky situation only the mighty ‘Am I The A**hole’ subreddit can straighten out.
Feeling Thanksgiving spirit, a single working mom helped her last-minute neighbor with some groceries
Image credits: Viki Mohamad (not the actual photo)
Soon, one little favor escalated into an entire operation that left the mom baffled
Not only does she read the author’s mail but also used the benefits she gets as a single mother to prove something
Image credits: Tiny-Charity
Here’s what people had to say about the situation
No more of these NTA postings please. And other lists from Reddit. I want the old Bored Panda back
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times. Where is the art, the comics and stuff like that? I started reading the Trending part of Bored Panda, but that is becoming just as bad.
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Some of these stories seem so far fetched. It's becoming difficult figure out what truthful, and what's is total nonsense.
Too nonsensical for me to believe. Oh, and here’s my list of 80 items for you to buy for me...
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You can tell her that 1) you can't use your EBT to buy her groceries because it's illegal and you are not going to lose the ability to feed your kids be cause she's too lazy to go shopping for herself and 2) if you find out she's accidentally opened your mail one more time, you'll report her to the postmaster general because opening other peoples mail is a federal offense. The hag can do her own shopping.
Yep, and trying to coerce someone into using their SNAP benefits to buy you things is also illegal.
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I have lived in the same apartment complex for about four years and none of my neighbors have ever behaved like this. I just got out of the hospital and I have not bothered my neighbors for food or groceries. When I need something, I call my family. You don't force yourself onto your neighbors and you don't open their mail. This new neighbor sounds unhinged and the OP needs to speak to the husband.
This neighbor is criminal. Using somebody else's SNAP benefits is fraud. Opening somebody else's mail is a federal offense. Expecting somebody else to pay for your groceries when you have the means to pay for your own is just leeching, not criminal, but morally corrupt. She needs to be reported for her criminal actions.
OMG...I wouldn't have responded to the first text! Also if she keeps opening mail you can report it to the postal service because it's a felony to tamper with mail that isn't yours. This is why I am super careful with how nice I am to my neighbors, usually keeps them for asking me for anything and I definitely don't ask anything from them. Just a hey, have a good day and keep it moving.
This story doesn't make sense. How does someone become someone's consistent grocery shopper, as well as the one paying for those groceries? I would tell the postoffice, I would get a locking mailbox, or slot for front door. I would tell them that you will no longer be doing their shopping, nor buying it. That's why it is always best to keep neighbors at a distance.
I'm wondering, since she doesn't work, if husband is controlling the money and doesn't give enough for what they may need or not enough for what she thinks they need. Either way, unacceptable behavior.
I was more thinking she is spending the food money on drink/drugs/something else bad and doesn't want husband to know
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I'd call the cops. Everyone was correct, that is a federal crime
You need to get a P.O. box---they're not expensive, and just need to be renewed every six months or year---and yes, BLOCK that neighbor on your phone! She should be offering to shop for you, not you for her!
If she doesn't qualify, it's because she doesn't need to. That's also not your problem. Suggest grocery delivery and be done with it.
I don’t know if the OP will read these comments but in case she does….. don’t leave this problem for the next person that moves into your duplex. Especially the mail issue. If u report her she will most likely get a notice from the post office and be on record for this behavior. Which will spill over into the next tenant if she does it again. The food issue… I guess the next person she does this too will just have to learn on their own and put a stop to it.
I don't understand why people post on reddit asking if they're the ah when they already know the story is outrageous. Are they just fishing for sympathy?
OP must be a really patient person. I would have set that neighbor straight at the second demand.
NTA. Report her for opening your mail, report her to your landlord, and I'd consider talking to the police, she's harassing and threatening to you. And I'd talk to SNAP and tell them she's opening your mail and demanding you get her groceries - that could be a federal offense just there.
If she opens your mail, contact the USPS. That is a felony. And NO is a pleasant word. You owe her nothing, she owes you for the groceries you've bought. Speak to her husband, he is probably unaware. Or he is, and doesn't know how to stop her. Give him the info on food delivery services, ask for his number so you can forward her requests to him so HE can stop at the store on his way home. Tell the landlord she is invading your privacy, stealing your mail, and making unreasonable requests.
If she is opening mail that’s a crime. First thing I would do contact a legal aid organization about the issue, see if just sending a letter will stop the mail opening. Or get a separate mail box or call the post office about the issue maybe get a PO BOX. Then document to dates and times of harassment and advice the land lords of the issue.
This post is just an outrageous waste of our time. Enough of the f*****g REDDIT repeats BP
I really wish BP would lighten up on these “negative drama” posts. I come here for a dose of lightness, not for negativity. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
See my comment up top! Bring on the lightness! Enough of the recycled Reddit crap.
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I would tell her to f**k off and block her number. Also don't give your neighbours your number.
The problem with reporting that you neighbor is opening your mail turns into you not getting your mail at all. With snap and the weird mail only non certified deliveries that means your benefits could get turned off simply because you didn't give them a copy of current income (paystub) and you never knew they asked for it
Something is fishy. Why is there not a second mailbox? Sounds like an illegal rental
Get a PO Box. Should be relatively inexpensive, I think mine was $20 a year. No, you shouldn't have to but privacy is worth it if you can swing it. Report her ass for stealing your mail to post master when you go to get the po box. And tell her to get her own damn benefits and get grocery delivery and eff off.
Make sure to tell the landlord about this behavior and it being the reason you're moving, because it will be happening to the next tenant who moves in. Karen of the week.
Ignore her. You don't own them a single f***. Bothered you, call the cops, prove the mail openings and keep going with your life.
I'd get a rental mailbox starting NOW, because this could be a vindictive situation when the neighbor realizes the free ride is over. I do wonder if the neighbor is an addict of some kind, who is spending all her "food money" on whatever her addiction is. That's the kind of self-justifying behavior that an addict displayes.
I think I was most disappointed in this because the author felt the need to use 'Karen" as a slur in the opening paragraph. Really? BP we had another discussion not long ago about the need to stop using Karen as a sexist, ageist slur. Surely, someone who is supposed to be a writer can come up with something less nasty to say?
No more of these NTA postings please. And other lists from Reddit. I want the old Bored Panda back
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times. Where is the art, the comics and stuff like that? I started reading the Trending part of Bored Panda, but that is becoming just as bad.
Load More Replies... Some of these stories seem so far fetched. It's becoming difficult figure out what truthful, and what's is total nonsense.
Too nonsensical for me to believe. Oh, and here’s my list of 80 items for you to buy for me...
Load More Replies... You can tell her that 1) you can't use your EBT to buy her groceries because it's illegal and you are not going to lose the ability to feed your kids be cause she's too lazy to go shopping for herself and 2) if you find out she's accidentally opened your mail one more time, you'll report her to the postmaster general because opening other peoples mail is a federal offense. The hag can do her own shopping.
Yep, and trying to coerce someone into using their SNAP benefits to buy you things is also illegal.
Load More Replies... I have lived in the same apartment complex for about four years and none of my neighbors have ever behaved like this. I just got out of the hospital and I have not bothered my neighbors for food or groceries. When I need something, I call my family. You don't force yourself onto your neighbors and you don't open their mail. This new neighbor sounds unhinged and the OP needs to speak to the husband.
This neighbor is criminal. Using somebody else's SNAP benefits is fraud. Opening somebody else's mail is a federal offense. Expecting somebody else to pay for your groceries when you have the means to pay for your own is just leeching, not criminal, but morally corrupt. She needs to be reported for her criminal actions.
OMG...I wouldn't have responded to the first text! Also if she keeps opening mail you can report it to the postal service because it's a felony to tamper with mail that isn't yours. This is why I am super careful with how nice I am to my neighbors, usually keeps them for asking me for anything and I definitely don't ask anything from them. Just a hey, have a good day and keep it moving.
This story doesn't make sense. How does someone become someone's consistent grocery shopper, as well as the one paying for those groceries? I would tell the postoffice, I would get a locking mailbox, or slot for front door. I would tell them that you will no longer be doing their shopping, nor buying it. That's why it is always best to keep neighbors at a distance.
I'm wondering, since she doesn't work, if husband is controlling the money and doesn't give enough for what they may need or not enough for what she thinks they need. Either way, unacceptable behavior.
I was more thinking she is spending the food money on drink/drugs/something else bad and doesn't want husband to know
Load More Replies... I'd call the cops. Everyone was correct, that is a federal crime
You need to get a P.O. box---they're not expensive, and just need to be renewed every six months or year---and yes, BLOCK that neighbor on your phone! She should be offering to shop for you, not you for her!
If she doesn't qualify, it's because she doesn't need to. That's also not your problem. Suggest grocery delivery and be done with it.
I don’t know if the OP will read these comments but in case she does….. don’t leave this problem for the next person that moves into your duplex. Especially the mail issue. If u report her she will most likely get a notice from the post office and be on record for this behavior. Which will spill over into the next tenant if she does it again. The food issue… I guess the next person she does this too will just have to learn on their own and put a stop to it.
I don't understand why people post on reddit asking if they're the ah when they already know the story is outrageous. Are they just fishing for sympathy?
OP must be a really patient person. I would have set that neighbor straight at the second demand.
NTA. Report her for opening your mail, report her to your landlord, and I'd consider talking to the police, she's harassing and threatening to you. And I'd talk to SNAP and tell them she's opening your mail and demanding you get her groceries - that could be a federal offense just there.
If she opens your mail, contact the USPS. That is a felony. And NO is a pleasant word. You owe her nothing, she owes you for the groceries you've bought. Speak to her husband, he is probably unaware. Or he is, and doesn't know how to stop her. Give him the info on food delivery services, ask for his number so you can forward her requests to him so HE can stop at the store on his way home. Tell the landlord she is invading your privacy, stealing your mail, and making unreasonable requests.
If she is opening mail that’s a crime. First thing I would do contact a legal aid organization about the issue, see if just sending a letter will stop the mail opening. Or get a separate mail box or call the post office about the issue maybe get a PO BOX. Then document to dates and times of harassment and advice the land lords of the issue.
This post is just an outrageous waste of our time. Enough of the f*****g REDDIT repeats BP
I really wish BP would lighten up on these “negative drama” posts. I come here for a dose of lightness, not for negativity. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
See my comment up top! Bring on the lightness! Enough of the recycled Reddit crap.
Load More Replies... I would tell her to f**k off and block her number. Also don't give your neighbours your number.
The problem with reporting that you neighbor is opening your mail turns into you not getting your mail at all. With snap and the weird mail only non certified deliveries that means your benefits could get turned off simply because you didn't give them a copy of current income (paystub) and you never knew they asked for it
Something is fishy. Why is there not a second mailbox? Sounds like an illegal rental
Get a PO Box. Should be relatively inexpensive, I think mine was $20 a year. No, you shouldn't have to but privacy is worth it if you can swing it. Report her ass for stealing your mail to post master when you go to get the po box. And tell her to get her own damn benefits and get grocery delivery and eff off.
Make sure to tell the landlord about this behavior and it being the reason you're moving, because it will be happening to the next tenant who moves in. Karen of the week.
Ignore her. You don't own them a single f***. Bothered you, call the cops, prove the mail openings and keep going with your life.
I'd get a rental mailbox starting NOW, because this could be a vindictive situation when the neighbor realizes the free ride is over. I do wonder if the neighbor is an addict of some kind, who is spending all her "food money" on whatever her addiction is. That's the kind of self-justifying behavior that an addict displayes.
I think I was most disappointed in this because the author felt the need to use 'Karen" as a slur in the opening paragraph. Really? BP we had another discussion not long ago about the need to stop using Karen as a sexist, ageist slur. Surely, someone who is supposed to be a writer can come up with something less nasty to say?
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