Mom Is “Left Speechless” After Neighbor From Downstairs Has Enough Of Her Loud 3-Year-Old And Tells Her To Be Quiet
Few things are more annoying than a noisy neighbor living right next to you. Whether it’s music blasting into midnight or kids screaming and running right above you, it can seriously get on your nerves.
Speaking of the latter scenario, this is precisely what happened to one neighbor who got fed up with the noises coming from the flat above where a family with a three-year-old and a newborn lives.
The incident was shared by a mom who was wondering if it’s unreasonable of her to be fuming at that neighbor. “We’ve literally just had a knock on the door from our downstairs neighbor. We live in a maisonette, we’re in the top flat, he’s on the bottom. He said ‘listen, can you tell your kid to be quiet and stop running around?’” the mom wrote in a post on Momsnet.
Read on below for the whole story and be sure to share what you think of the whole situation in the comments below!
Recently, a mom shared how her neighbor from downstairs asked her to keep her 3-year-old quiet, which left her fuming
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Caleb Woods (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TheseAreMyGoodPants
Many people said that the mom is being unreasonable and that the neighbor who got fed up with the noise is right in this situation
Others, however, expressed their support for the mom and said that it’s the neighbor’s problem
If you have kids you should be able to control them. Be more considerate of your neighbors. Not everyone enjoys the stomping and screaming from your little Angel.
Agreed. I lived in an apartment for years and a 3 year old running and screaming up and down the hallway before 8am on a Sunday would p**s me off too. Imo the neighbor wasn't being rude or unreasonable to ask the mom to control her kid
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Wow, I dont mow my lawn before 10 am on Sunday so as not to disturb my neighbors. The kine " she doesnt understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of the day" is telling. She also doesnt understand that you cant have candy for breakfast ( doing certain things differently based on what time it is ) but thats the parents job to teach her. If you move into a flat with kids above, you expect to hear noise. You also expect that the parents will teach their child to be respectful of others.
I agree. I think it's definitely possible to teach young children the difference between walking and running (or talking and yelling/screaming). A parent can teach them walking is normal use of their living space, but they cannot run or jump inside the apartment because it's noisy and purposely making noise is unconsidered to others. Of course a young child will sometimes forget or just don't do it, but that's part of parenting. I think a down stairs neighbor will be much more forgiving if it's only once in a while and he knows the parents are actively parenting their child on the topic.
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I hate the argument saying "you decided to live in an apartment so you should tolerate noisiness". No way. Me deciding to live in an apartment (if by decision you mean I had no choice because houses are waaay out of my price range) has nothing to do with you being an a*****e and me having to accept it. Living in any kind of community, be it a house or a block of apartments, comes with consideration for others. This has nothing to do with the kid, of course she doesn't understand. She also doesnt understand why she must brush her teeth or why she must wash herself. It is up to the parent to make her understand.
I'd say "you decided to live in a appartement, you should be carefull not to be too loud". Saying that as a mother of 2. We were always carefull to keep them from running/jumping inside and get them to play outside when they needed to move. We moved in a house when they were 2 and 4 and I still make sure they are too loud in the garden. As you said "considération for others". No one wants the upstairs lady to have her high heels inside, the dog on the right to howl like the poor doggo they are for being left alone all day, or the student of first floor to throw a party until 4am in the middle of the week. It's a collective duty to make things work. Except for the crazy old lady that was complaining all the time about the noise coming from the school playground during break times...
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Also please understand not everyone is on a 9-5 M-F schedule. Some people work weekends, some work the afternoon or graveyard shift and have sleep patterns where they sleep all morning. You’d be royally pissed off if someone who works midnight to 8am is up from midnight to 8am making daytime level noises on their days off, now wouldn’t you? If they can reign it in overnight out of consideration for you and your sleeping children, don’t you think you and your kids should return that same favor to them during the day when they’re trying to sleep? Talk to them, and find out what their schedule is, then negotiate what hours are acceptable to you both for your kids to stomp around above their heads. Cooperation, consideration, and communication are what makes for a harmonious community.
Same with me! I have busy and freakingly flexible, unstable schedule, so I can wake up at 3am one day and go to bed at 3am the next day. Some noises are too annoying even at 8am for me.
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I've had a neighbour with kids above my appartment few years ago. There were kids running 7am to 10pm 7 days a week. Plus, mom was moving (loudly) all her furnitures at 7am every sunday. Plus random objects dropping in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare. I never complained but I was exhausted and very pissed off. The one night (in 4 years) I put slightly loud music (still legal) mom came to complain, and was very rude. I kinda told her that I don't f*****g care if she can't sleep as she never had any consideration for my sleep and sanity. She was not happy 😂 [edit : Oh should I add I worked morning (starts at 6am) or evening (ends at 10pm) shifts? I never slept more than 5 hours in a row for 4 years 😂 It was my petty delight to politely tell her to suck it up. I am the a*****e, karma is a b***h and I regret nothing 😂]
When you live in a block of flats, there are usually some commonly acceptable hours when you can be noisy. Here where I live they start at 9. So 7-30 is definitely way too early, especially on Sunday, it's just downright ungodly. I understand it can be tricky to make a newborn stop crying, but you definitely can tell your 3yo not to run and distract her with something.
I lucked out. I don't know what's up with these walls, but we have *very* loud neighbors, and it goes on all hours of the day and night. I go outside it's loud as hell, I come inside and I hear nothing. I feel very very lucky.
Load More Replies... This is the most simple but clear comment I've read. Yes, this.
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yabu. i am a bharatanatyam dancer, it is a dance form that has a lot of stomping and tapping of the feet involved. i have neighbors living under me. for this reason, i don't practice in the apartment because i don't want to bother them. i practice in the gym instead. we all need to accommodate to the people around us sometimes.
Does OP expect her neighbour to make an effort to be considerate about their noise levels? Is he playing music at full volume at 10pm at night, driving a vehicle with a broken muffler, and/or using power tools at dawn on the weekends? If he is, and she doesn't mind, then she has a point. Otherwise, neighbours try to be considerate of each other. Some things you can't help, like a teething baby, but really three years old is old enough to start teaching her to use her inside voice, and not to run inside. Yes, she's a kid, and she'll need to be reminded, but you can make an effort. It sounds like this mum isn't, she's just claiming that the three-year-old's volume level cannot be controlled. Does she let the kid run and scream when she's trying to get the baby to nap?
These people are the reason some landlords dont want families. My kids are at the same age (3 yo, 6 weeks old) so I fully understand this situation, but find it unacceptable. A 3 yo can learn to be silent at specific times. Read a book, draw something, etc....
I took this one kind of personal as I use to be the downstairs neighbor and lived under a family with 5-7 kids. It was a nightmare living under them and I had to constantly complain about noise. Never once were they considerate of me no matter what time of day it was. I ended up moving because it escalated to them throwing dirty diapers from their balcony into the bush next to mine. You absolutely have control over your kids and she’s being inconsiderate of her neighbors.
Those are trashy neighbors. I'd have called the cops and CPS on them in a heartbeat!
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The fact that this person was left "fuming" is absolutely infuriating to me. "My child doesn't understand" is NOT an excuse or a free pass to do whatever. All it is is a reflection of her parenting, or lack thereof.
this is the type that turns on their washing machine or hoover at night with the argument it is my appartment you choose to live here what is your problem? i hate them so much
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I've lived in my apartment (which I own) since 2008. Recently, a couple with 3 children under the age of 5 moved in, and they have refused to cover their floors or control their kids in any way. One of the kids is only 5 months old, so the adults wake me up when they get up to feed her in the middle of the night, and the older ones start running up and down the hall as early as 6:30 AM. It's a f*****g nightmare and I'm probably going to have to sell my apartment because they are making me so miserable, and the Board refuses to step in.
You can call the cops for the disruption. Keep a log when they wake/disturb you to show them the patterns. See if other tenants have the same issue.
Load More Replies... Fancy being entitled enough to be fuming your neighbour wants some sleep on a Sunday and downer want your kid waking them up at that time. What is it about people having kids that make them think adults don't matter and kids can do and have whatever they want. Nah.
Pretty sure most people with enough common sense AND children don't happen to think that. This is the first born child, I expect mom's still picking up how to parent. Obviously don't just park them in front of the TV all day, if the kid's got that much energy that early, should be common sense to go to a park or explore the block/town. Fck it, play "I Spy" or some outdoor activity. But I was taught as a kid (as this was common knowledge) that we should be walking indoors anyway, not only because it was quieter, but because it was safer. Wouldn't run headlong into strangers, or furniture, or knock anything over. Just common sense. Besides it sounds as if the neighbor wasn't being a complete d**k about it. "Can you tell your kid to be quiet?" It's forward, but it's not as if he directly insulted mom or her child.
Load More Replies... We had to move out of a beautiful old building after living there happily with cool neighbours for over 20 years because a „new“ couple decided to have a kid which was allowed to do what ever it wanted to do: scream, jump, run, stamp. I was a nervous wreck. Then she got pregnant again. We decided to leave. I cried for many days and we still miss our friends and the house. Buggers.
Come on. Three year olds CAN be parented. Sounds like this chick is either too lazy or her kids lead her around by the nose. Either way it's hardly parenting to just let your kid run buck wild then say "Oh well, that's kids!"
When the kid starts paying rent, then she can do what she wants...take her to the park to run around...why should anyone accommodate your choices???
I dont cause any noise before 9am on weekdays, and on weekends I won't do anything causing noise before noon. Some respect would be great, and I would complain as well. Considering I have three neighbors, and two have more than 2children, I have never heard child crying, laughing or having a tantrum. I do hear music, TV, or people stomping around in shoes. Children can be controlled and should be taught to be respectful
Little kids can learn and follow rules. My little sister was 2-3 yo. And she had rules to follow, and she followed them to a T. She was allowed to get up and watch cartoons by herself on Saturday mornings, quietly, so my mom who had hellacious work hours could get additional sleep. She was not to wake my mom for anything short of an emergency. One early Saturday morning, she heard a knock on the door, and dragged her stepstool over to the the door so she could look out the window. It was our beloved uncle Bud who'd driven about 10 hours from out of state for a visit. She said 'Hi Uncle Bud!' He said, 'S! Open the door!' She said 'No Uncle Bud!' (She also knew never to open the door for ANYONE.) so he said, 'S! Go get your mommy!' And she said 'Nooo uncle Bud!' So he picked up our newspaper, and sat on the porch swing reading it until my mom got up. We still laugh about it, but she did the right things.
This is so cute! Some people act like 2-3 year olds are incapable of learning things. That's actually a good age to start teaching them rules and respect for others. That's the age when they start absorbing everything and the younger you start the better.
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I live downstairs. My upstairs neighbours like to chase bowling balls around the flat while wearing clogs. Be more considerate. A certain amount of noise is expected living in flats but your downstairs neighbours deserve some quality of life especially early on a Sunday morning. OP needs to live somewhere else where her kid can do as she likes and no one else needs to "put up with it".
It might also be a good idea to invest in some noise canceling carpets. Noise travels really weirdly through a house. I was recently asked what kind of dog I have, because a customer heard some barking through the phone. I have no dog, I live on the 3rd floor and dog in question is on ground level :)
I think the big issue is how early it is. Pretty sure a lot of apartment complexes have quite hours
She's absolutely the ah....I've got upstairs to ask the mom who had an illegal amount of children in the apt to begin with. All toddlers. Both times I went up bc it was between 11pm n 2am. Like your children need to be in bed n you have neighbors. Your children are not my priority. You are responsible for having children you clearly can't control wtf is she the one getting indignant. Like literally no one asked you yo have babies
My nephew learned at 2.5 not to do c**p that would bother the downstairs neighbor. If he starts doing something loud early or late he's told not to because the people downstairs are sleeping; he listens and does something less noisy. May not grasp the concept of being a nuisance or bothersome but this was a simple thing he understood.
Exactly! Some people think 2-3 year olds are incapable of learning so they just let them do whatever instead of being a responsible parent and taking the time to teach them. That's the perfect age to start teaching them things like rules and respecting others.
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Father of 5 here. My kids all grew up learning to be quiet in the morning on weekends. 3 is not too young to learn WALKING is for inside RUNNING is for outside.
I watched my grand daughter from about ages 1-4 and she understood just fine where she could and couldn't run around and make noise. Example: McDonalds play area, yes. Nice restaurant, no. Only had to reinforce a couple of times. Kids are smarter than you think. Also, if she's doing this now, it's only going to get worse.
In my 1st apartment I had neighbors like this who lived above me. No, I did not sign a lease to hear a 3 year old running laps up and down the hall at 7am on a Sunday morning! On the flip side, I'm also wasn't a noisy neighbor. I filed so many noise complaints with property management about them, they eventually moved. Your ill-trained children are not everyone else's problem!!!
YABU... we used to live in the garden level of an apartment when a family with 2 little kids and 2 dogs moved in above us. They used to do parkour up there, the mom even said they would jump off couches and tables... she had zero control over them. It sounded like a stampede! This was all times of the day and ridiculous! I worked from home and would frequently spend parts of my day frazzled and crying, we finally got fed up with it, broke our lease and bought a house. Apartment living is hard, honestly, if people can't control their household, maybe they should try and live on the ground floor as opposed to above others.
What if, and just bare with me, what if mama got up out of bed and took the kids for a morning walk! Get that energy out and into a healthy routine instead of crashing about in the apartment. Just saying.
I had a very hyperactive child and also had hwf's and made sure that there was no yelling, loyd nouses or running before 9am and after 8pm. It's a little thing called respect & it goes a long way.
Totally in the wrong. Having kids does not exempt you from courtesy to your downstairs neighbors. Take em to a park or playground, but letting your kid run around treating the apartment like an amusement park is utterly rude and inconsiderate
Depends on the time of day. My neighbours regularly let their kids run up and down their hallway at midnight! Now their kids are in school, so hopefully it will improve (not sure since I was working out of town most of last year.) Fortunately I am a heavy sleeper, and I am also a night owl, but it is annoying when I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep! Before 8 am on a weekend is unreasonable as well. But if it's the middle of the day, then no.
I feel so sorry for the downstairs neighbour. And I like how she's saying she never had issues over the four years, before this... yeah, how much of that time did you have a noisy 3 yr old, genius... I can't believe she has the nerve to think she's even possibly in the right. And I kind of feel like she's a lazy mother, from her lack of interest in trying to control her kids...
When one is living in a shared environment aka apartment complex/block your actions will affect others especially if it is loud ... living downstairs someone you walks like an elephant (apologies to elephants) and is not willing to accept that their walk affects you you will lose it .... if your child wants to run around this is your excuse to leave the house .... they will get tired . . Return home give them a bath/shower 2-3hours becomes yours and everybody in the complex is happy... but we live in a world of SELFfish people😢
I work nights and purposely live upstairs. However, on my nights off when I am awake all night I am quiet so that I DON'T wake my neighbors. A little respect for those above and below goes a long way. BTW, I've never had a complaint either.
I've been struggling with getting my 2 and 4 yo to not run or stomp late at night. My 4yo mostly gets the noise issue, especially when our upstairs neighbors stomp or drop things at night and scare her. My 2 yo isn't at that level so I told her a monster is sleeping downstairs and we have to be quiet. We don't view monsters as scary in our house, generally silly but scary looking. She tip toes and makes quiet monster noises at night and it's super cute. My responsibility as a parent and a neighbor to TRY to keep my kids quiet at certain times
Train your child to be considerate to the fact that her running is upsetting other people ... it's called DISCIPLINE! Put yourself in your neigbours shoes and see how you would feel, it a noisy brat was disturbing your peace.
I grew up in the 70s and my slightly younger brother is profoundly autistic. Every single Saturday and Sunday my Dad woke up at 5am to take my brother out until lunchtime. This was to prevent him from waking the neighbors and to give my mom a break. My brother did not understand at that point in time that his yelling and hitting things was not ok. So as the parents my mom and dad figured it out. We never had a complaint. My Dad continues to be my hero and my brother has grown into an awesome man who is truly the best uncle on the planet. It's not easy to be a parent. You made a choice to have sex and a child. Be a parent.
No, the mom is the a-hole. Your 3 year old can literally STFU. It's called PARENTING. F-n do it! If I'm trying to sleep and your 3 year old is keeping me awake, it's getting thrown off the balcony, and probably you along with it.
Reading this my first though is that the building isnt built like the old ones. We lived on the first floor and never heard a foot step or except when the super would do work preparing for the next tenant. All I would do is tap the ceiling and he stopped. A 100 year old building was up to code and beyond. Remember that Sunday mornings can be the time when people stay in get rested for the week. It's not fair to him. He must have held it in for along time take the kid out for breakfast and haunt a museum before the next one
Well most apartment complexes have a kids playground or parks nearby You could take your kid out to play. I think you are using your kids age as an excuse instead of teaching her there is a time and place to do things. Also, not everyone works a 9-5 job especially if they are in law enforcement, fire fighters, EMT, nurses, doctors and many more jobs. So sometimes they sleep during the day and work at night. So having a small kid run up and down the hallway is not good. Also, how are you watching your kid if they are in the hallway unsupervised and you are in your apartment. If something happens to your child, I imagine you would be the first to point fingers instead of taking accountability for not watching your kid at such a young age. Downstairs neighbor has every right to complain.
I once lived above a woman who complained about me walking in my apartment, morning, noon and night. I basically ignored her but after two months, I invited the owner/landlord over and asked him to walk around. After exactly three minutes and 47 seconds, there was a knock at my door. I answered the door and she started wailing off about my "walking". I said that it wasn't me and she said, "Oh. So it was your imaginary friend I suppose." I said, "NO. It was our landlord. He walked into her view and asked her to accompany him to her apartment for a chat. There was peace in the valley after that.
It’s the parents responsibility to teach their child acceptable behavior, so if your child doesn’t understand, the onus is on you. Also consider yourself fortunate to have secured reasonable accommodations since that is one reason landlords are reluctant to rent to people with children. They earlier you teach your child respect for others, the sooner they learn they deserve respect themselves.
I live in an apartment building and have 5 cats. The law here states that no loud noises should be produced between 10 PM and 8 AM and between 12 PM and 1 PM. However, despite waking up daily to a house full of cat litter and hairballs, I don't vacuum until 10 AM, even if the law allows it, and I go for the broom, if the situation is dramatic when I wake up, in order to allow my neighbors to sleep off anything they would sleep of, on each and every day of the week, not just the weekends. It's called not being a d*ck.
People with children feel their kids are everyone else's problem too. No, they're YOUR responsibility and if you didn't want to manage your kids you should have requested a downstairs apartment. Period.
my 3 kids, at 3 years old, absolutely knew to be quiet if they were being loud by 3 years old... If she allows this in the complex, I can only imagine how she is in public areas... i.e. stores, resturants, etc... there is a time and place for being a kid, but that early, doing that in a complex? RUDE... she is def 100000% BTA with that... I have lived in a complex, and yes noise happens... BUT parents are also adults and need to parent loud or obnoxious kiddos too.. its easy to do... sounds like shes using that as a means to babysit her kid
YTA, I have had 2 kids in an apartment, and I would never EVER have let them run like that so early. They 💯 can and will learn this is very loud downstairs if you tell them. They didn't have to be silent, but there's an acceptable amount of noise to make and then there's what you're letting your kid do. Go down to his flat, and let your kid run upstairs. Then tell him oh, she's only 3 lol. You won't. Because it sounds like she is going to come through the floor. Through THE...WHOLE...FLAT... so much so that it COULD eventually get you evicted.
Going through the same thing with my neighbours right now, their kids start stomping around and screaming at 4 am and dont stop until the mom wakes up around 7. These are 4-5 year old kids though, they should know better. I grew up in a house and my parents still taught me to be mindful and walk lightly in the morning. It's just respect, like teaching your kids to say "please" and "thank you".
I'm surprised the parent knew her child was wrong. She's the one who should have told her child to be quiet and mindful of the neighbors. And shouldn't be mad when others do. So I wonder what she told the neighbor when she opened her door? That's the child is 3! " Well then do your job mom!"
Pretty much what my mother told her neighbours at 7am on a saturday, woken up by a thunderfoot running up and down the stairs. The dad is pretty good now, the mom is as bad or worse than the kid though.
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Oh this person is a fresh parent. My mom would have pissed if she got a noise complaint for any of us. Control your kids. They can know when not to do things.
If she hadn't had neighbours complain before, either her little one wasn't as lively, heavy and loud, and perhaps didn't wake up as early when the other neighbours were living below, or this guy is just a grouch. Some people are just not good with living so close to others. Last year, I had to call the police on a new downstairs neighbour because he came up banging and kicking my door over normal cleaning noises during the day. I was just putting away dishes. I would hear him with his TV, loud phone conversations and stomping, banging around, too, but I never complained about his noises. This mom going to the internet to ask strangers, who have no clue what the other side is going through, and don't have any other context to go by I don't think it's doing her any good to figure out if she's right or wrong.
Ugh... Unpopular opinion maybe, but you chose to have a kid and I'm expected to cut you some slack for at least two years, whether I have to get up early or not because, you know, baby. Yet you find it unreasonable to give others the courtesy of eventually teaching your child basic social étiquette to keep the peace.
I can’t understand why some neighbors don’t believe in having some consideration for others. I recently had a similar situation with my upstairs neighbors about they’re children too. They have two kids, one that’s about 5-7 years old and a small toddler. So of course I tried being understanding to their situation. However, they are excessive. My ceiling fan, lights, and frames on my wall will shake from all the jumping and running. Worst of all they will start their playing at about 7am Saturday and Sundays all throughout the day and most of the time would not stop until midnight. It became unbearable. So I too knocked on their door at midnight and kindly ask if they can quite the children down. They apologize but the noise did not stop. In fact, it continued for about another hour. I eventually had to complain to the property manager as this is a constant problem. They told our property manager that the kids play and there’s nothing they can do to stop them. “Wow”
I don't know how hard it is to teach kids anything, I can only go by my experience as a kid. I *knew* not to make a lot of noise or run in the house because my family told me not to. We live next to a family in a townhouse now with two kids that visit periodically and HOLY COW are they loud! It's like they're throwing bowling balls around over there. And often then we hear crying because they got hurt. Well, teach your kids to not run full pelt down the stairs, it's dangerous and annoying to everyone.
If you say you have to "bound and gag" your child to control them, you shouldn't be a parent... that's concerning in itself a PARENT can't PROPERLY control their child. Who tf has to bound and gag their child to distract them? Oh oh no, I forgot, you just don't wanna deal with ACTUALLY watching your child, my bad.
Children need to learn inside voices and activities that can and can't be done at certain times of the day. Mom needs to teach her daughter right from wrong. I've lived on the top and bottom floors before. Living in an apartment is a living hell. If parents start when the kids are young then there wouldn't be any problem of her neighbor knocking on her door about the problem. I've stayed in hotels where I've had to call the front desk because it's 2am and the people above me are letting their kids run and jump. Ummmm excuse me 2am they should be sleeping.
I love how people always excuse kids behavior by saying "kids will be kids" yeh and parents should be parents by teaching their kids respect. You don't need to tie your kid up or even plop them in front of a screen to keep them from being loud. There are plenty of ways to entertain a child without them running up and down a hallway. Have a tea party, play dress-up, puzzles, books, board games, etc. And yes, when you're living in an apartment building, dealing with some noise from neighbors once in a while comes with it but that doesn't mean you shouldn't respect your neighbors and let your kids run up and down the hallway just bc noise is to be expected in an apartment building. When I lived in my last apt, I had the garden level and my upstairs neighbors were really loud sometimes but when I would play music while cleaning, I was always considerate and kept it at an acceptable volume and I would never play music in the morning or at night. It's just common decency.
I think discussing things would help. Find out if there are specific days/times he requires no/less noise (possibly for work ). Ask if others times she can just be a little kid. Living in apartment situations means ALL tenants have to be conscious of their neighbors. But unless she's running in front of his place and screaming at the top of her lungs, he also needs to be flexible. Both of you were right and wrong. If talking to him doesn't work, talk to management.
Tough call. I love kids and get that they are kids with the memories of a ferret. YET, 3 years old is old enough to teach proper behavior and consideration. It's not like a baby on an airplane. Yet, kids should be able to run and play. If people are able, they should strive to live on the ground floor in such situations. If they are running around, take them to the park. Daytime, i wouldn't care. I've lived below adults that are worse than kids.
These posts are normally going from parents, eho know nothing about entertaining children and making them busy with some more quiet actions. 3yo is, maybe, too young to understand sertain things, f.e. why it is not allowed to do noise early in the morning. But 3yos are old enough to understand simple instructions from the parents, such as not running around and sit down. OP should get her child busy with some quiet games and activities, I think. But of course it takes time and effort. I see it that way, that letting a kid to run up and down the hallway is the easiest way, as it do not require any additional actions from the parents. Behave your kids.
I agree. There are plenty of things kids can do that don't require running up and down the hallway. The OP acts like it was either that or "tying up" her kid! And people suggesting the only other option was sticking her in front of a screen. She could have a tea party, dress-up, puzzles, books, games, etc. And if she needed to run off some energy, take her to the park!
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Mummy can take her Little Angel to run & scream at a nearby park. Let her burn up energy elsewhere rather than disturbing others in the building! I've had EXTREMELY noisy neighbors on top & bottom floors. One on bottom played loud music at ALL hours & mgmt. couldn't evict them (they had been to court numerous times & had a court order; b***h refused to leave!). Guy above me literally tore apart computers to help him cope with depression while his girlfriend used a circular saw to make wood carvings & mgmt. refused to do anything. Took me 8 years, but I was finally able to move out (low-income housing & I was on disability for 6 of those 8 yrs.).
This is a fun one! Of course living under someone you get noise, that's just what it is. I live on the ground floor with my child, the adults that live(d) above us can be louder than kids. 3yr olds are smarter than you think and they will listen, but sometimes they can get to be to rambunctious. One instance is understandable, but if it's happening all the time it's an issue. Just be more considerate and not over use the they don't understand they're kids excuse.
People seem to b offended because half of the moms say to quiet ur child. So, kids would run around screaming and swinging from the chandeliers at all hours, if they're allowed! Instructing a young one that it's too early in the morning for that is totally acceptable, and an opportunity to teach ur child something we old folks call empathy! Ur simply teaching ur child that you share the building with other people, and we're going to b considerate of them and the early hour, and play quietly. That's the proper move here. The same people saying to let em run wild and screw the neighbors are the same ones that say they don't wanna have kids because they're too much to handle. Only if u let them run wild and u don't teach them any better!! There has to b rules, folks, or else we may as well b swinging from trees and flinging our poop!
I feel like weekends are when people tend to sleep in, then go out and about. Neighbors need to be considerate and perhaps limit some of the noise until at least 10:00am or later. I imagine the Littles go to bed pretty early, so from that time until bed should be acceptable. If he works the graveyard shift, then he's made a mistake choosing to live where he is.
You're not properly equipping your child if you don't teach them to use self control at certain times of the day. Learning to be still for a while and looking at a book will strengthen abilities that help them succeed in life.. And when they have too much energy take them outside and let them run.
I have raised five children. At three years of age ach one would have understood that they needed to be quiet at certain times. I have taught them to be considerate and mindful. Sounds like this mom needs a lesson too.
I'm sorry but I say thank the good Lord that you're 3-year-old is able to run up and down the hallway and she's laughing first thing in the morning! I think that's beautiful. I'd rather hear that and someone's kid crying and being unhappy just my opinion
1. Single parent here, 2 boys, youngest on the spectrum; so trust me, you can not tell me anything I haven't heard or experienced. 2. 3 year olds, even those on spectrum (!) CAN learn to be quiet, any time of day or night. It has nothing to do with "understanding"; it has everything to do with you teaching them to be quiet. 3. Something you can try. Reserve Saturday and Sunday mornings (yes BOTH!) For cartoons. Get them into a schedule of sitting in front of the t.v. with a bowl of cold cereal until 11 or 12. This will not harm them in any way, and it will help keep them settled. 4. If they absolutely will not settle down one day, take them to the park for an hour or two. Let them run themselves to exhaustion. When you get home, they will be ready for a nap. 5. Set a sleep schedule. 3 year olds need 12+ hours of sleep at night. No matter how hard it is, get them into a bedtime schedule and enforce that schedule. Believe it or not, this will decrease excess day energy#
And that's why families with kids should be on the bottom floor, the 90 unit apartment building we lived in families with kids bottom floor problem solved and everyone was happy and kids could run to there hearts content and drive there own parents crazy lol
A three year old person definitely understands "you can't run and scream in the hallway right now. It's too early".
This is why I can't stand living near kids. It's not that I don't like kids, but I hate living anywhere near a family. Families I've lived near feel entitled to make as much noise as possible because they have kids. You're not special because you have kids. Figure out how to keep them quiet early in the morning. That's your job.
You indicated your daughter's three and doesn't understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of day. . .you are the parent - teach her! Explain to your daughter why she needs to be quiet or quieter during the morning and night. You're coming across in your posting that you have no control in your daughter's behavior. You do.
"Being unreasonable," "You are being unreasonable," and "You are not being unreasonable."
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Clearly this mother is one of those who believes her precious angel can do no wrong. I pity whoever will be her teacher in a few years. Then it'll be "She's only five; you can't expect a child her age to understand that she can't talk whenever she wants/get up and walk around whenever she wants/hit other children/etc."
Def the a-hole who is being unreasonable. Just because u love in an apartment you don't be rude to neighbors. And yes that is rude. Control your kid. Walk hunny it's a bit early. Anything earlier than about 8 or 9 at least let his eyes crack normally/naturally for church then let her go ham after that.
If the kid gets wound up at a certain time of day, then plan a regular trip to the park at that time. YOU have a responsibility to keep things peaceful in a multiple home bldg, *within reason*. Ask the cops for the times when people are supposed to tone it down (in the US it can vary). Then you can tell the neighbor to stuff it if it's during that timeline. However, toddlers have the vocal range of a dog whistle. When they go off, some folk will howl. Time to teach yours about "inside voices". Run her energy off outside the home.
You have no idea your neighbors might work 3rd shift and be asleep during the day. Yes kids make noise its to be expected but its also YOUR job as the parent to teach them to be respectful of those around them
The mom is definitely in the wrong! It's like people don't realize anymore that parenting is a VERB. If you are a parent what you are supposed to be doing is training your child/children to be decent adults. That's literally the job. Parents think that their job is to make their children "happy" and sure you should definitely want your child to be happy more often than not, but your actual job is to make sure your children don't grow up to be part of the problem and make the world worse for those unfortunate enough to be in their vicinity. A big part of that is teaching them consideration for others. This mom is failing miserably there and this kid will be collectively our problem in 15 years when she thinks she can do whatever she wants and no one else matters.
Ah yes, entitled parents. Always a fancy subject to argue about. Acting like their kids are inherently too stupid to do anything reasonable so why try. You know, like screaming babies in your ear halfway through your meal in a quiet restaurant. Don't act stupid, you know kids can be taught. You've just become tone deaf to their screaming and antics so you assume everyone else should be too or they're evil kidless sociopaths who hates children. *Rolls eyes*
They aren't deaf to it, it takes work to guide children. She isn't raising her daughter, she's just letting the kid grow up in her home. She's not deaf, she's lazy.
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It's actually pretty damaging to kids, and the adults they grow up into, to be expected to constantly sit still and be quiet at a time our drives are telling us to run around and get physical enrichment. I'm the type to HATE being bothered by other people's crotch goblins, but the fact is, the ability to run around is part of what kids need for healthy development. Not wanting to deal with noisy flatmates is part of why I don't rent flats. That said, if it's early in the morning, at a grocery store, a funeral, etc, it's reasonable to expect parents to rein in their kids for a bit. Distract them or teach them enough self control to wait for a better time to run and scream. But the public needs to be aware that the kid screeching in front of your door might be doing so after having to sit quietly to be considerate to someone else. They need a lot of time to let out energy, and it's not like we live in the world of Dragonball where there are empty wastelands everywhere for them to do this
If you don't want to deal with noise then buy a house. If you can't afford a house you can't afford silence. Bring on the downvotes...
If you don't want neighbors complaining about your noisy children then buy a house. If you can't afford a house then you can't afford to have noisy children. See how that works just as well the other way around? In fact it makes even more sense, since a family would be much better off living in a big house where their kids would have a yard to run around in; it's the single, childless adult who's much better suited to the smaller apartment. But let me guess, you're one of these entitled, self-important parents who thinks your precious little angels are somehow everyone *else's* problem and they just need to deal. Sorry, but no. You're not special because your wife plopped out a couple of kids, and it's not everyone else's responsibility--including OP's neighbor--to bend over backwards to accommodate kids that *you're* too lazy to teach basic consideration for others to.
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I read this several times and am not clear where the Sunday morning pre 8 am camr from but........ She is 3. Kids make noise. She is able to do a quiet activity if it's 7 am but after 8 am all bets are off.
No, even 8am the kid should be quiet. The mom needs to be a better parent!
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Happy and free in their own home... running around at 8 am on a Sunday. I can understand that little kids do that but how are the parents even okay with that?? It's way too early. I used to wake up really early when I was 3 but my parents will only allow me to either go to sleep again or do something quiet like watch TV and I understood and respected.
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I pay rent too. I feel like listening to some heavy bass or death rock at 3am. I pay rent.... if I was that selfish.
Load More Replies... If you have kids you should be able to control them. Be more considerate of your neighbors. Not everyone enjoys the stomping and screaming from your little Angel.
Agreed. I lived in an apartment for years and a 3 year old running and screaming up and down the hallway before 8am on a Sunday would p**s me off too. Imo the neighbor wasn't being rude or unreasonable to ask the mom to control her kid
Load More Replies... Wow, I dont mow my lawn before 10 am on Sunday so as not to disturb my neighbors. The kine " she doesnt understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of the day" is telling. She also doesnt understand that you cant have candy for breakfast ( doing certain things differently based on what time it is ) but thats the parents job to teach her. If you move into a flat with kids above, you expect to hear noise. You also expect that the parents will teach their child to be respectful of others.
I agree. I think it's definitely possible to teach young children the difference between walking and running (or talking and yelling/screaming). A parent can teach them walking is normal use of their living space, but they cannot run or jump inside the apartment because it's noisy and purposely making noise is unconsidered to others. Of course a young child will sometimes forget or just don't do it, but that's part of parenting. I think a down stairs neighbor will be much more forgiving if it's only once in a while and he knows the parents are actively parenting their child on the topic.
Load More Replies... I hate the argument saying "you decided to live in an apartment so you should tolerate noisiness". No way. Me deciding to live in an apartment (if by decision you mean I had no choice because houses are waaay out of my price range) has nothing to do with you being an a*****e and me having to accept it. Living in any kind of community, be it a house or a block of apartments, comes with consideration for others. This has nothing to do with the kid, of course she doesn't understand. She also doesnt understand why she must brush her teeth or why she must wash herself. It is up to the parent to make her understand.
I'd say "you decided to live in a appartement, you should be carefull not to be too loud". Saying that as a mother of 2. We were always carefull to keep them from running/jumping inside and get them to play outside when they needed to move. We moved in a house when they were 2 and 4 and I still make sure they are too loud in the garden. As you said "considération for others". No one wants the upstairs lady to have her high heels inside, the dog on the right to howl like the poor doggo they are for being left alone all day, or the student of first floor to throw a party until 4am in the middle of the week. It's a collective duty to make things work. Except for the crazy old lady that was complaining all the time about the noise coming from the school playground during break times...
Load More Replies... Also please understand not everyone is on a 9-5 M-F schedule. Some people work weekends, some work the afternoon or graveyard shift and have sleep patterns where they sleep all morning. You’d be royally pissed off if someone who works midnight to 8am is up from midnight to 8am making daytime level noises on their days off, now wouldn’t you? If they can reign it in overnight out of consideration for you and your sleeping children, don’t you think you and your kids should return that same favor to them during the day when they’re trying to sleep? Talk to them, and find out what their schedule is, then negotiate what hours are acceptable to you both for your kids to stomp around above their heads. Cooperation, consideration, and communication are what makes for a harmonious community.
Same with me! I have busy and freakingly flexible, unstable schedule, so I can wake up at 3am one day and go to bed at 3am the next day. Some noises are too annoying even at 8am for me.
Load More Replies... I've had a neighbour with kids above my appartment few years ago. There were kids running 7am to 10pm 7 days a week. Plus, mom was moving (loudly) all her furnitures at 7am every sunday. Plus random objects dropping in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare. I never complained but I was exhausted and very pissed off. The one night (in 4 years) I put slightly loud music (still legal) mom came to complain, and was very rude. I kinda told her that I don't f*****g care if she can't sleep as she never had any consideration for my sleep and sanity. She was not happy 😂 [edit : Oh should I add I worked morning (starts at 6am) or evening (ends at 10pm) shifts? I never slept more than 5 hours in a row for 4 years 😂 It was my petty delight to politely tell her to suck it up. I am the a*****e, karma is a b***h and I regret nothing 😂]
When you live in a block of flats, there are usually some commonly acceptable hours when you can be noisy. Here where I live they start at 9. So 7-30 is definitely way too early, especially on Sunday, it's just downright ungodly. I understand it can be tricky to make a newborn stop crying, but you definitely can tell your 3yo not to run and distract her with something.
I lucked out. I don't know what's up with these walls, but we have *very* loud neighbors, and it goes on all hours of the day and night. I go outside it's loud as hell, I come inside and I hear nothing. I feel very very lucky.
Load More Replies... This is the most simple but clear comment I've read. Yes, this.
Load More Replies... yabu. i am a bharatanatyam dancer, it is a dance form that has a lot of stomping and tapping of the feet involved. i have neighbors living under me. for this reason, i don't practice in the apartment because i don't want to bother them. i practice in the gym instead. we all need to accommodate to the people around us sometimes.
Does OP expect her neighbour to make an effort to be considerate about their noise levels? Is he playing music at full volume at 10pm at night, driving a vehicle with a broken muffler, and/or using power tools at dawn on the weekends? If he is, and she doesn't mind, then she has a point. Otherwise, neighbours try to be considerate of each other. Some things you can't help, like a teething baby, but really three years old is old enough to start teaching her to use her inside voice, and not to run inside. Yes, she's a kid, and she'll need to be reminded, but you can make an effort. It sounds like this mum isn't, she's just claiming that the three-year-old's volume level cannot be controlled. Does she let the kid run and scream when she's trying to get the baby to nap?
These people are the reason some landlords dont want families. My kids are at the same age (3 yo, 6 weeks old) so I fully understand this situation, but find it unacceptable. A 3 yo can learn to be silent at specific times. Read a book, draw something, etc....
I took this one kind of personal as I use to be the downstairs neighbor and lived under a family with 5-7 kids. It was a nightmare living under them and I had to constantly complain about noise. Never once were they considerate of me no matter what time of day it was. I ended up moving because it escalated to them throwing dirty diapers from their balcony into the bush next to mine. You absolutely have control over your kids and she’s being inconsiderate of her neighbors.
Those are trashy neighbors. I'd have called the cops and CPS on them in a heartbeat!
Load More Replies... The fact that this person was left "fuming" is absolutely infuriating to me. "My child doesn't understand" is NOT an excuse or a free pass to do whatever. All it is is a reflection of her parenting, or lack thereof.
this is the type that turns on their washing machine or hoover at night with the argument it is my appartment you choose to live here what is your problem? i hate them so much
Load More Replies... I've lived in my apartment (which I own) since 2008. Recently, a couple with 3 children under the age of 5 moved in, and they have refused to cover their floors or control their kids in any way. One of the kids is only 5 months old, so the adults wake me up when they get up to feed her in the middle of the night, and the older ones start running up and down the hall as early as 6:30 AM. It's a f*****g nightmare and I'm probably going to have to sell my apartment because they are making me so miserable, and the Board refuses to step in.
You can call the cops for the disruption. Keep a log when they wake/disturb you to show them the patterns. See if other tenants have the same issue.
Load More Replies... Fancy being entitled enough to be fuming your neighbour wants some sleep on a Sunday and downer want your kid waking them up at that time. What is it about people having kids that make them think adults don't matter and kids can do and have whatever they want. Nah.
Pretty sure most people with enough common sense AND children don't happen to think that. This is the first born child, I expect mom's still picking up how to parent. Obviously don't just park them in front of the TV all day, if the kid's got that much energy that early, should be common sense to go to a park or explore the block/town. Fck it, play "I Spy" or some outdoor activity. But I was taught as a kid (as this was common knowledge) that we should be walking indoors anyway, not only because it was quieter, but because it was safer. Wouldn't run headlong into strangers, or furniture, or knock anything over. Just common sense. Besides it sounds as if the neighbor wasn't being a complete d**k about it. "Can you tell your kid to be quiet?" It's forward, but it's not as if he directly insulted mom or her child.
Load More Replies... We had to move out of a beautiful old building after living there happily with cool neighbours for over 20 years because a „new“ couple decided to have a kid which was allowed to do what ever it wanted to do: scream, jump, run, stamp. I was a nervous wreck. Then she got pregnant again. We decided to leave. I cried for many days and we still miss our friends and the house. Buggers.
Come on. Three year olds CAN be parented. Sounds like this chick is either too lazy or her kids lead her around by the nose. Either way it's hardly parenting to just let your kid run buck wild then say "Oh well, that's kids!"
When the kid starts paying rent, then she can do what she wants...take her to the park to run around...why should anyone accommodate your choices???
I dont cause any noise before 9am on weekdays, and on weekends I won't do anything causing noise before noon. Some respect would be great, and I would complain as well. Considering I have three neighbors, and two have more than 2children, I have never heard child crying, laughing or having a tantrum. I do hear music, TV, or people stomping around in shoes. Children can be controlled and should be taught to be respectful
Little kids can learn and follow rules. My little sister was 2-3 yo. And she had rules to follow, and she followed them to a T. She was allowed to get up and watch cartoons by herself on Saturday mornings, quietly, so my mom who had hellacious work hours could get additional sleep. She was not to wake my mom for anything short of an emergency. One early Saturday morning, she heard a knock on the door, and dragged her stepstool over to the the door so she could look out the window. It was our beloved uncle Bud who'd driven about 10 hours from out of state for a visit. She said 'Hi Uncle Bud!' He said, 'S! Open the door!' She said 'No Uncle Bud!' (She also knew never to open the door for ANYONE.) so he said, 'S! Go get your mommy!' And she said 'Nooo uncle Bud!' So he picked up our newspaper, and sat on the porch swing reading it until my mom got up. We still laugh about it, but she did the right things.
This is so cute! Some people act like 2-3 year olds are incapable of learning things. That's actually a good age to start teaching them rules and respect for others. That's the age when they start absorbing everything and the younger you start the better.
Load More Replies... I live downstairs. My upstairs neighbours like to chase bowling balls around the flat while wearing clogs. Be more considerate. A certain amount of noise is expected living in flats but your downstairs neighbours deserve some quality of life especially early on a Sunday morning. OP needs to live somewhere else where her kid can do as she likes and no one else needs to "put up with it".
It might also be a good idea to invest in some noise canceling carpets. Noise travels really weirdly through a house. I was recently asked what kind of dog I have, because a customer heard some barking through the phone. I have no dog, I live on the 3rd floor and dog in question is on ground level :)
I think the big issue is how early it is. Pretty sure a lot of apartment complexes have quite hours
She's absolutely the ah....I've got upstairs to ask the mom who had an illegal amount of children in the apt to begin with. All toddlers. Both times I went up bc it was between 11pm n 2am. Like your children need to be in bed n you have neighbors. Your children are not my priority. You are responsible for having children you clearly can't control wtf is she the one getting indignant. Like literally no one asked you yo have babies
My nephew learned at 2.5 not to do c**p that would bother the downstairs neighbor. If he starts doing something loud early or late he's told not to because the people downstairs are sleeping; he listens and does something less noisy. May not grasp the concept of being a nuisance or bothersome but this was a simple thing he understood.
Exactly! Some people think 2-3 year olds are incapable of learning so they just let them do whatever instead of being a responsible parent and taking the time to teach them. That's the perfect age to start teaching them things like rules and respecting others.
Load More Replies... Father of 5 here. My kids all grew up learning to be quiet in the morning on weekends. 3 is not too young to learn WALKING is for inside RUNNING is for outside.
I watched my grand daughter from about ages 1-4 and she understood just fine where she could and couldn't run around and make noise. Example: McDonalds play area, yes. Nice restaurant, no. Only had to reinforce a couple of times. Kids are smarter than you think. Also, if she's doing this now, it's only going to get worse.
In my 1st apartment I had neighbors like this who lived above me. No, I did not sign a lease to hear a 3 year old running laps up and down the hall at 7am on a Sunday morning! On the flip side, I'm also wasn't a noisy neighbor. I filed so many noise complaints with property management about them, they eventually moved. Your ill-trained children are not everyone else's problem!!!
YABU... we used to live in the garden level of an apartment when a family with 2 little kids and 2 dogs moved in above us. They used to do parkour up there, the mom even said they would jump off couches and tables... she had zero control over them. It sounded like a stampede! This was all times of the day and ridiculous! I worked from home and would frequently spend parts of my day frazzled and crying, we finally got fed up with it, broke our lease and bought a house. Apartment living is hard, honestly, if people can't control their household, maybe they should try and live on the ground floor as opposed to above others.
What if, and just bare with me, what if mama got up out of bed and took the kids for a morning walk! Get that energy out and into a healthy routine instead of crashing about in the apartment. Just saying.
I had a very hyperactive child and also had hwf's and made sure that there was no yelling, loyd nouses or running before 9am and after 8pm. It's a little thing called respect & it goes a long way.
Totally in the wrong. Having kids does not exempt you from courtesy to your downstairs neighbors. Take em to a park or playground, but letting your kid run around treating the apartment like an amusement park is utterly rude and inconsiderate
Depends on the time of day. My neighbours regularly let their kids run up and down their hallway at midnight! Now their kids are in school, so hopefully it will improve (not sure since I was working out of town most of last year.) Fortunately I am a heavy sleeper, and I am also a night owl, but it is annoying when I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep! Before 8 am on a weekend is unreasonable as well. But if it's the middle of the day, then no.
I feel so sorry for the downstairs neighbour. And I like how she's saying she never had issues over the four years, before this... yeah, how much of that time did you have a noisy 3 yr old, genius... I can't believe she has the nerve to think she's even possibly in the right. And I kind of feel like she's a lazy mother, from her lack of interest in trying to control her kids...
When one is living in a shared environment aka apartment complex/block your actions will affect others especially if it is loud ... living downstairs someone you walks like an elephant (apologies to elephants) and is not willing to accept that their walk affects you you will lose it .... if your child wants to run around this is your excuse to leave the house .... they will get tired . . Return home give them a bath/shower 2-3hours becomes yours and everybody in the complex is happy... but we live in a world of SELFfish people😢
I work nights and purposely live upstairs. However, on my nights off when I am awake all night I am quiet so that I DON'T wake my neighbors. A little respect for those above and below goes a long way. BTW, I've never had a complaint either.
I've been struggling with getting my 2 and 4 yo to not run or stomp late at night. My 4yo mostly gets the noise issue, especially when our upstairs neighbors stomp or drop things at night and scare her. My 2 yo isn't at that level so I told her a monster is sleeping downstairs and we have to be quiet. We don't view monsters as scary in our house, generally silly but scary looking. She tip toes and makes quiet monster noises at night and it's super cute. My responsibility as a parent and a neighbor to TRY to keep my kids quiet at certain times
Train your child to be considerate to the fact that her running is upsetting other people ... it's called DISCIPLINE! Put yourself in your neigbours shoes and see how you would feel, it a noisy brat was disturbing your peace.
I grew up in the 70s and my slightly younger brother is profoundly autistic. Every single Saturday and Sunday my Dad woke up at 5am to take my brother out until lunchtime. This was to prevent him from waking the neighbors and to give my mom a break. My brother did not understand at that point in time that his yelling and hitting things was not ok. So as the parents my mom and dad figured it out. We never had a complaint. My Dad continues to be my hero and my brother has grown into an awesome man who is truly the best uncle on the planet. It's not easy to be a parent. You made a choice to have sex and a child. Be a parent.
No, the mom is the a-hole. Your 3 year old can literally STFU. It's called PARENTING. F-n do it! If I'm trying to sleep and your 3 year old is keeping me awake, it's getting thrown off the balcony, and probably you along with it.
Reading this my first though is that the building isnt built like the old ones. We lived on the first floor and never heard a foot step or except when the super would do work preparing for the next tenant. All I would do is tap the ceiling and he stopped. A 100 year old building was up to code and beyond. Remember that Sunday mornings can be the time when people stay in get rested for the week. It's not fair to him. He must have held it in for along time take the kid out for breakfast and haunt a museum before the next one
Well most apartment complexes have a kids playground or parks nearby You could take your kid out to play. I think you are using your kids age as an excuse instead of teaching her there is a time and place to do things. Also, not everyone works a 9-5 job especially if they are in law enforcement, fire fighters, EMT, nurses, doctors and many more jobs. So sometimes they sleep during the day and work at night. So having a small kid run up and down the hallway is not good. Also, how are you watching your kid if they are in the hallway unsupervised and you are in your apartment. If something happens to your child, I imagine you would be the first to point fingers instead of taking accountability for not watching your kid at such a young age. Downstairs neighbor has every right to complain.
I once lived above a woman who complained about me walking in my apartment, morning, noon and night. I basically ignored her but after two months, I invited the owner/landlord over and asked him to walk around. After exactly three minutes and 47 seconds, there was a knock at my door. I answered the door and she started wailing off about my "walking". I said that it wasn't me and she said, "Oh. So it was your imaginary friend I suppose." I said, "NO. It was our landlord. He walked into her view and asked her to accompany him to her apartment for a chat. There was peace in the valley after that.
It’s the parents responsibility to teach their child acceptable behavior, so if your child doesn’t understand, the onus is on you. Also consider yourself fortunate to have secured reasonable accommodations since that is one reason landlords are reluctant to rent to people with children. They earlier you teach your child respect for others, the sooner they learn they deserve respect themselves.
I live in an apartment building and have 5 cats. The law here states that no loud noises should be produced between 10 PM and 8 AM and between 12 PM and 1 PM. However, despite waking up daily to a house full of cat litter and hairballs, I don't vacuum until 10 AM, even if the law allows it, and I go for the broom, if the situation is dramatic when I wake up, in order to allow my neighbors to sleep off anything they would sleep of, on each and every day of the week, not just the weekends. It's called not being a d*ck.
People with children feel their kids are everyone else's problem too. No, they're YOUR responsibility and if you didn't want to manage your kids you should have requested a downstairs apartment. Period.
my 3 kids, at 3 years old, absolutely knew to be quiet if they were being loud by 3 years old... If she allows this in the complex, I can only imagine how she is in public areas... i.e. stores, resturants, etc... there is a time and place for being a kid, but that early, doing that in a complex? RUDE... she is def 100000% BTA with that... I have lived in a complex, and yes noise happens... BUT parents are also adults and need to parent loud or obnoxious kiddos too.. its easy to do... sounds like shes using that as a means to babysit her kid
YTA, I have had 2 kids in an apartment, and I would never EVER have let them run like that so early. They 💯 can and will learn this is very loud downstairs if you tell them. They didn't have to be silent, but there's an acceptable amount of noise to make and then there's what you're letting your kid do. Go down to his flat, and let your kid run upstairs. Then tell him oh, she's only 3 lol. You won't. Because it sounds like she is going to come through the floor. Through THE...WHOLE...FLAT... so much so that it COULD eventually get you evicted.
Going through the same thing with my neighbours right now, their kids start stomping around and screaming at 4 am and dont stop until the mom wakes up around 7. These are 4-5 year old kids though, they should know better. I grew up in a house and my parents still taught me to be mindful and walk lightly in the morning. It's just respect, like teaching your kids to say "please" and "thank you".
I'm surprised the parent knew her child was wrong. She's the one who should have told her child to be quiet and mindful of the neighbors. And shouldn't be mad when others do. So I wonder what she told the neighbor when she opened her door? That's the child is 3! " Well then do your job mom!"
Pretty much what my mother told her neighbours at 7am on a saturday, woken up by a thunderfoot running up and down the stairs. The dad is pretty good now, the mom is as bad or worse than the kid though.
Load More Replies... Oh this person is a fresh parent. My mom would have pissed if she got a noise complaint for any of us. Control your kids. They can know when not to do things.
If she hadn't had neighbours complain before, either her little one wasn't as lively, heavy and loud, and perhaps didn't wake up as early when the other neighbours were living below, or this guy is just a grouch. Some people are just not good with living so close to others. Last year, I had to call the police on a new downstairs neighbour because he came up banging and kicking my door over normal cleaning noises during the day. I was just putting away dishes. I would hear him with his TV, loud phone conversations and stomping, banging around, too, but I never complained about his noises. This mom going to the internet to ask strangers, who have no clue what the other side is going through, and don't have any other context to go by I don't think it's doing her any good to figure out if she's right or wrong.
Ugh... Unpopular opinion maybe, but you chose to have a kid and I'm expected to cut you some slack for at least two years, whether I have to get up early or not because, you know, baby. Yet you find it unreasonable to give others the courtesy of eventually teaching your child basic social étiquette to keep the peace.
I can’t understand why some neighbors don’t believe in having some consideration for others. I recently had a similar situation with my upstairs neighbors about they’re children too. They have two kids, one that’s about 5-7 years old and a small toddler. So of course I tried being understanding to their situation. However, they are excessive. My ceiling fan, lights, and frames on my wall will shake from all the jumping and running. Worst of all they will start their playing at about 7am Saturday and Sundays all throughout the day and most of the time would not stop until midnight. It became unbearable. So I too knocked on their door at midnight and kindly ask if they can quite the children down. They apologize but the noise did not stop. In fact, it continued for about another hour. I eventually had to complain to the property manager as this is a constant problem. They told our property manager that the kids play and there’s nothing they can do to stop them. “Wow”
I don't know how hard it is to teach kids anything, I can only go by my experience as a kid. I *knew* not to make a lot of noise or run in the house because my family told me not to. We live next to a family in a townhouse now with two kids that visit periodically and HOLY COW are they loud! It's like they're throwing bowling balls around over there. And often then we hear crying because they got hurt. Well, teach your kids to not run full pelt down the stairs, it's dangerous and annoying to everyone.
If you say you have to "bound and gag" your child to control them, you shouldn't be a parent... that's concerning in itself a PARENT can't PROPERLY control their child. Who tf has to bound and gag their child to distract them? Oh oh no, I forgot, you just don't wanna deal with ACTUALLY watching your child, my bad.
Children need to learn inside voices and activities that can and can't be done at certain times of the day. Mom needs to teach her daughter right from wrong. I've lived on the top and bottom floors before. Living in an apartment is a living hell. If parents start when the kids are young then there wouldn't be any problem of her neighbor knocking on her door about the problem. I've stayed in hotels where I've had to call the front desk because it's 2am and the people above me are letting their kids run and jump. Ummmm excuse me 2am they should be sleeping.
I love how people always excuse kids behavior by saying "kids will be kids" yeh and parents should be parents by teaching their kids respect. You don't need to tie your kid up or even plop them in front of a screen to keep them from being loud. There are plenty of ways to entertain a child without them running up and down a hallway. Have a tea party, play dress-up, puzzles, books, board games, etc. And yes, when you're living in an apartment building, dealing with some noise from neighbors once in a while comes with it but that doesn't mean you shouldn't respect your neighbors and let your kids run up and down the hallway just bc noise is to be expected in an apartment building. When I lived in my last apt, I had the garden level and my upstairs neighbors were really loud sometimes but when I would play music while cleaning, I was always considerate and kept it at an acceptable volume and I would never play music in the morning or at night. It's just common decency.
I think discussing things would help. Find out if there are specific days/times he requires no/less noise (possibly for work ). Ask if others times she can just be a little kid. Living in apartment situations means ALL tenants have to be conscious of their neighbors. But unless she's running in front of his place and screaming at the top of her lungs, he also needs to be flexible. Both of you were right and wrong. If talking to him doesn't work, talk to management.
Tough call. I love kids and get that they are kids with the memories of a ferret. YET, 3 years old is old enough to teach proper behavior and consideration. It's not like a baby on an airplane. Yet, kids should be able to run and play. If people are able, they should strive to live on the ground floor in such situations. If they are running around, take them to the park. Daytime, i wouldn't care. I've lived below adults that are worse than kids.
These posts are normally going from parents, eho know nothing about entertaining children and making them busy with some more quiet actions. 3yo is, maybe, too young to understand sertain things, f.e. why it is not allowed to do noise early in the morning. But 3yos are old enough to understand simple instructions from the parents, such as not running around and sit down. OP should get her child busy with some quiet games and activities, I think. But of course it takes time and effort. I see it that way, that letting a kid to run up and down the hallway is the easiest way, as it do not require any additional actions from the parents. Behave your kids.
I agree. There are plenty of things kids can do that don't require running up and down the hallway. The OP acts like it was either that or "tying up" her kid! And people suggesting the only other option was sticking her in front of a screen. She could have a tea party, dress-up, puzzles, books, games, etc. And if she needed to run off some energy, take her to the park!
Load More Replies... Mummy can take her Little Angel to run & scream at a nearby park. Let her burn up energy elsewhere rather than disturbing others in the building! I've had EXTREMELY noisy neighbors on top & bottom floors. One on bottom played loud music at ALL hours & mgmt. couldn't evict them (they had been to court numerous times & had a court order; b***h refused to leave!). Guy above me literally tore apart computers to help him cope with depression while his girlfriend used a circular saw to make wood carvings & mgmt. refused to do anything. Took me 8 years, but I was finally able to move out (low-income housing & I was on disability for 6 of those 8 yrs.).
This is a fun one! Of course living under someone you get noise, that's just what it is. I live on the ground floor with my child, the adults that live(d) above us can be louder than kids. 3yr olds are smarter than you think and they will listen, but sometimes they can get to be to rambunctious. One instance is understandable, but if it's happening all the time it's an issue. Just be more considerate and not over use the they don't understand they're kids excuse.
People seem to b offended because half of the moms say to quiet ur child. So, kids would run around screaming and swinging from the chandeliers at all hours, if they're allowed! Instructing a young one that it's too early in the morning for that is totally acceptable, and an opportunity to teach ur child something we old folks call empathy! Ur simply teaching ur child that you share the building with other people, and we're going to b considerate of them and the early hour, and play quietly. That's the proper move here. The same people saying to let em run wild and screw the neighbors are the same ones that say they don't wanna have kids because they're too much to handle. Only if u let them run wild and u don't teach them any better!! There has to b rules, folks, or else we may as well b swinging from trees and flinging our poop!
I feel like weekends are when people tend to sleep in, then go out and about. Neighbors need to be considerate and perhaps limit some of the noise until at least 10:00am or later. I imagine the Littles go to bed pretty early, so from that time until bed should be acceptable. If he works the graveyard shift, then he's made a mistake choosing to live where he is.
You're not properly equipping your child if you don't teach them to use self control at certain times of the day. Learning to be still for a while and looking at a book will strengthen abilities that help them succeed in life.. And when they have too much energy take them outside and let them run.
I have raised five children. At three years of age ach one would have understood that they needed to be quiet at certain times. I have taught them to be considerate and mindful. Sounds like this mom needs a lesson too.
I'm sorry but I say thank the good Lord that you're 3-year-old is able to run up and down the hallway and she's laughing first thing in the morning! I think that's beautiful. I'd rather hear that and someone's kid crying and being unhappy just my opinion
1. Single parent here, 2 boys, youngest on the spectrum; so trust me, you can not tell me anything I haven't heard or experienced. 2. 3 year olds, even those on spectrum (!) CAN learn to be quiet, any time of day or night. It has nothing to do with "understanding"; it has everything to do with you teaching them to be quiet. 3. Something you can try. Reserve Saturday and Sunday mornings (yes BOTH!) For cartoons. Get them into a schedule of sitting in front of the t.v. with a bowl of cold cereal until 11 or 12. This will not harm them in any way, and it will help keep them settled. 4. If they absolutely will not settle down one day, take them to the park for an hour or two. Let them run themselves to exhaustion. When you get home, they will be ready for a nap. 5. Set a sleep schedule. 3 year olds need 12+ hours of sleep at night. No matter how hard it is, get them into a bedtime schedule and enforce that schedule. Believe it or not, this will decrease excess day energy#
And that's why families with kids should be on the bottom floor, the 90 unit apartment building we lived in families with kids bottom floor problem solved and everyone was happy and kids could run to there hearts content and drive there own parents crazy lol
A three year old person definitely understands "you can't run and scream in the hallway right now. It's too early".
This is why I can't stand living near kids. It's not that I don't like kids, but I hate living anywhere near a family. Families I've lived near feel entitled to make as much noise as possible because they have kids. You're not special because you have kids. Figure out how to keep them quiet early in the morning. That's your job.
You indicated your daughter's three and doesn't understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of day. . .you are the parent - teach her! Explain to your daughter why she needs to be quiet or quieter during the morning and night. You're coming across in your posting that you have no control in your daughter's behavior. You do.
"Being unreasonable," "You are being unreasonable," and "You are not being unreasonable."
Load More Replies... Clearly this mother is one of those who believes her precious angel can do no wrong. I pity whoever will be her teacher in a few years. Then it'll be "She's only five; you can't expect a child her age to understand that she can't talk whenever she wants/get up and walk around whenever she wants/hit other children/etc."
Def the a-hole who is being unreasonable. Just because u love in an apartment you don't be rude to neighbors. And yes that is rude. Control your kid. Walk hunny it's a bit early. Anything earlier than about 8 or 9 at least let his eyes crack normally/naturally for church then let her go ham after that.
If the kid gets wound up at a certain time of day, then plan a regular trip to the park at that time. YOU have a responsibility to keep things peaceful in a multiple home bldg, *within reason*. Ask the cops for the times when people are supposed to tone it down (in the US it can vary). Then you can tell the neighbor to stuff it if it's during that timeline. However, toddlers have the vocal range of a dog whistle. When they go off, some folk will howl. Time to teach yours about "inside voices". Run her energy off outside the home.
You have no idea your neighbors might work 3rd shift and be asleep during the day. Yes kids make noise its to be expected but its also YOUR job as the parent to teach them to be respectful of those around them
The mom is definitely in the wrong! It's like people don't realize anymore that parenting is a VERB. If you are a parent what you are supposed to be doing is training your child/children to be decent adults. That's literally the job. Parents think that their job is to make their children "happy" and sure you should definitely want your child to be happy more often than not, but your actual job is to make sure your children don't grow up to be part of the problem and make the world worse for those unfortunate enough to be in their vicinity. A big part of that is teaching them consideration for others. This mom is failing miserably there and this kid will be collectively our problem in 15 years when she thinks she can do whatever she wants and no one else matters.
Ah yes, entitled parents. Always a fancy subject to argue about. Acting like their kids are inherently too stupid to do anything reasonable so why try. You know, like screaming babies in your ear halfway through your meal in a quiet restaurant. Don't act stupid, you know kids can be taught. You've just become tone deaf to their screaming and antics so you assume everyone else should be too or they're evil kidless sociopaths who hates children. *Rolls eyes*
They aren't deaf to it, it takes work to guide children. She isn't raising her daughter, she's just letting the kid grow up in her home. She's not deaf, she's lazy.
Load More Replies... It's actually pretty damaging to kids, and the adults they grow up into, to be expected to constantly sit still and be quiet at a time our drives are telling us to run around and get physical enrichment. I'm the type to HATE being bothered by other people's crotch goblins, but the fact is, the ability to run around is part of what kids need for healthy development. Not wanting to deal with noisy flatmates is part of why I don't rent flats. That said, if it's early in the morning, at a grocery store, a funeral, etc, it's reasonable to expect parents to rein in their kids for a bit. Distract them or teach them enough self control to wait for a better time to run and scream. But the public needs to be aware that the kid screeching in front of your door might be doing so after having to sit quietly to be considerate to someone else. They need a lot of time to let out energy, and it's not like we live in the world of Dragonball where there are empty wastelands everywhere for them to do this
If you don't want to deal with noise then buy a house. If you can't afford a house you can't afford silence. Bring on the downvotes...
If you don't want neighbors complaining about your noisy children then buy a house. If you can't afford a house then you can't afford to have noisy children. See how that works just as well the other way around? In fact it makes even more sense, since a family would be much better off living in a big house where their kids would have a yard to run around in; it's the single, childless adult who's much better suited to the smaller apartment. But let me guess, you're one of these entitled, self-important parents who thinks your precious little angels are somehow everyone *else's* problem and they just need to deal. Sorry, but no. You're not special because your wife plopped out a couple of kids, and it's not everyone else's responsibility--including OP's neighbor--to bend over backwards to accommodate kids that *you're* too lazy to teach basic consideration for others to.
Load More Replies... I read this several times and am not clear where the Sunday morning pre 8 am camr from but........ She is 3. Kids make noise. She is able to do a quiet activity if it's 7 am but after 8 am all bets are off.
No, even 8am the kid should be quiet. The mom needs to be a better parent!
Load More Replies... Happy and free in their own home... running around at 8 am on a Sunday. I can understand that little kids do that but how are the parents even okay with that?? It's way too early. I used to wake up really early when I was 3 but my parents will only allow me to either go to sleep again or do something quiet like watch TV and I understood and respected.
Load More Replies... I pay rent too. I feel like listening to some heavy bass or death rock at 3am. I pay rent.... if I was that selfish.
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