Guy Abandons His Pregnant Fiancée And Disappears, Throws A Tantrum When It Turns Out That She Named The Babies Herself
In ancient times, people believed that the name which is given to a person largely affects their future life and destiny. There were even special reference books by which it was possible to determine what awaited a child, based on their name. We wonder what the authors of these handbooks would say about the circumstances under which children are given names?
In an ideal world, parents sit down together and discuss the name they will give their newborn child, and in the end choose the best and the most beautiful. But this is an ideal world, rainbow ponies live there, politicians always tell the truth, and parents of newborn children never quarrel. In the real world, things are obviously a little different…
For example, as described in this post in the AITA Reddit community, which has amassed over 9.6K upvotes and nearly 600 different comments. The author of the post is a mother who recently gave birth to twins and came up with beautiful names for them. Yes, both of them – without the slightest support or participation of the biological father.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster gave birth to the twins, though their biological father abandoned them long before the birth
Image source: Alick Sung (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster was planning a wedding with her fiancé, but when it became known that she was pregnant with twins, the man unexpectedly left her. As a result, the OP had only minimal contact with him throughout her pregnancy, mostly discussing future custody of the children.
Image source: CraftyHold598
The man even fought for 0% custody and received just visitation and parental rights
Interestingly, the man fought for 0% custody, as a result of which he received visitation and parental rights – but nothing more. Three days before the OP had a C-section, they talked again, so the future father definitely knew when and where his children would be born. Of course he didn’t show up.
Image source: CraftyHold598
Faced with the issue of naming the kids, the OP chose names for them herself
He did not come even when the newborns spent two weeks in the NICU. Moreover, he did not even text or call. As a result, when the new mother faced the issue of choosing names for the kids, she named them herself, and in addition, registered them with her own surname.
Image source: CraftyHold598
The man threw a tantrum when the OP refused to rename the babies, as he disliked their named
But when the children were already three weeks old, the biological father suddenly appeared – as it turned out, just to find out what his children’s names were. Having learned the names, the man became very angry – he did not like them, and when it turned out that the children’s surname would also not be his, he completely lost his temper.
Image source: CraftyHold598
To this, the OP retorted that she’d heard nothing from him for a whole three weeks after the birth of the children, so the mother had no choice. However, the explanation did not suit the man, and he threw a tantrum due to the fact that he was not asked about such an extremely important matter.
Image source: ethermoon
Commenters supported the OP and suggested she call the family lawyer, just in case
However, people in the comments were massively supportive of the OP. In their opinion, if a man has already decided that he will not be involved, then he has refused to make any decisions about the children – including the right to choose names for them.
The commenters also advised the mother, just in case, to contact the family lawyer in order to once again protect herself and the kids from possible troubles from the biological father in the future. Because if the situation starts in such an unpleasant way, in the future, it can become even worse…
As always, we appreciate your comments, and if you’ve experienced something similar, we’d love to have you tell your own story. We hope that both yours and this story will have a much happier continuation.
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What a nasty little man he is, he wanted Children, chose to leave her, left her during one of the most precious of 'fatherhood' times, wanted 0% custody which proves how little Father material he has in his body, neglected to see her or the children when they were born and then turns up like a petulant child saying he didn't like their names. He sounds immature throwing his toys out of the pram. Don't newborns have to have their names registered within a certain amount of time, it's 42 days in the UK... All this man did was donate semen
He left when it was too late to end the pregnancy, he never wanted to be a dad, he just wanted to pass on his blood and name and now he's mad the name part didn't work the way he wanted
Yeah, but why end it if the child has a chance at surviving without anything tragically/ fatally wrong? No disrespect, just wondering. :)
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Very similar situation for me. Ex was mad when he found out the kid didn't get his last name. It's actually part of what held up him going forward with the divorce. My son has my last name which makes sense for school, activities, appointments. His dad has seen him a handful of times in 8 years.
Wtf… Was he gone for 3 weeks because he was being restrained in Abusive Idiots Anonymous meetings?
0% custody but maintaining parental rights is one of the biggest patriarchal scams. "I want nothing to do with my children, but I still want to have some form of legal control over this woman and her family." Complete controlling b******t - held up by legal institutions.
I was wondering about that too... Why parental rights? I agree with the last comment of the post: the only contact should be his money being deposited in her bank account.
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Definitely nta, just wondering what the names are lol :) congrats on twins!
This post is on reddit..... op won't see your comment here.
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Someone said he should kick rocks...I thinks it's more like dodge rocks while I try to pluck him in the head...nasty excuse for a human
What a horrible situation for that poor woman. I hope she has plenty of loving and caring support. She’s better ensure he pays child support for those kids. It’s best they have her name. One of my nephews has his father’s last name, he hasn’t been in his life and I know he would like to change his name. In a way, she is lucky to have escaped that relationship. He’s a tool.
I believe almost 0% of the AITA posts these days. Seriously, how could some even question this?
My guess would be she didn't really question it but has little or no support irl, so went to the internet for reassurance and support. Also, may have been looking for arguments to make to the sperm donor supporting her case (since people often also offer advice).
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He bailed, he failed, send him to the trash heap, get a restraining order, and buh-bye.
Ditch him. Do you want your children have an example of a man like that in their lives? Now way! The faster you walk the other way, the better off you and your babies will be. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how tough it is being a single mom with an entitled sperm donor. Sending you love and good vibes!
But tie it tight as possible around his very tiny malformed non-willie.
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I deduce that the reason he wanted zero custody was to avoid paying child support or have any responsibility for the kids. You are not the a*****e. He needs professional help and you need a restraining order. Nip this behavior in the bud now or he will continue to harass you and those precious children. Talk to a lawyer. Serve him papers outlining exactly what his rights are as a zero custody parent. What a piece of c**p. Good thing you gave the kids the surname of their only real family. Best wishes to you.
NTA, he sounds toxic, and like he would probably do it again if he could, from what I've heard being a single parent would be a lot more difficult then having a spouse, but if you want a spouse just make sure he is the right partner.
Why should the children carry a name of a person they will never get know and who doesn't give a sh1t about them?
guy is an asshat! per OP he wanted kids then reality set in so he jumped. now he wants them to have his name, a literal branding that these are his kids. good for her as she will be there for them. the name game is crazy when it comes to marriage & kids. i didn't take my ex's name & was married for 32 yrs. my son has my name, not his although he is bio dad. my reasoning is too long to put here but it was never an issue w/my ex bc as he said, 'i'm on the birth certificate'. only issue was when my son went into service bc they said he had to have his name hyphenated. it's an ego issue for this guy and nothing else.
Why are you even asking if YTA? 🙄 obviously this guy is a useless s**t stain. Nothing needs to be questioned here. Move on with your life and don’t bother with him.
Someday I am going to see an article written professionally and the shock just might kill me. He wasn't upset that his wife named the children, he was upset that his ex girlfriend named the children. They were not married. They were engaged, that's another name for shacking up and never planning to really get married.
You walked away from your soon to be pregnant wife and your children, and now you have to live with the consequences. Wonder the reason behind the decision is because he found himself a side piece on his business trip and walked away from this woman? Then either the mistress left him, then he thought he could pranced back to his twin's mamma and she'd take him back and forgive him for all the heart aches he caused..
OHFUCKNO , he should NOT get any visitation or other "parental" rights, not even being married to that waste of atoms assholevirus dickweed+!!! Not my business/obviously her decision but that's what I would choose! Well, if he'd still have to pay child support somehow. Not sure exactly how that works tbh.
This is just one of what will be a series of situations where you will be the only reliable parent. I am a teacher. Some kids end up with a parent who drops in and out of their life. The child would be far better off if the parent either jumped into or out of their life for good. Whatever happens, be sure you remain the reliable parent.
He'll have "visitation and parental rights"? What does "parental rights" mean, if he has 0% custody?
I would not allow him to be alone with the kids. He sounds like the type that would do something to them just to hurt you.
My sister changed her daughter's name to our last name and added our dead cousins name as a middle name. Her baby daddy contested the name change and woooo-boy, was that a fun courtroom to be in. The judge was having NONE of it. Baby daddy got stuck suckling air like a fish and his dad was one comment away from contempt of court. It's smart to keep records in case of further custody battles
NTA and also take every effing penny your lawyer can pry from that little beyotch's hands.
The only thing it sounds like he wanted was to continue his name. He had a business trip and suddenly changed his mind? Apparently he got a taste of single life with no attachments and decided he preferred that. He wants little to do with these kids except name them. You're the one who's raising them, caring for them, providing for them. They don't need to know their father so don't use that excuse, they can decide for themselves when their older if they want a relationship with a man who shows very little care towards them as children. A friend of mine gave her child the last name of her boyfriend. He vanished 4 years ago, hasn't contacted them since (we know he's alive from acquaintances), when asked why she doesn't change his last name and she responded that she wants her son to have a connection to his father still. Why? The father doesn't care enough to even call on his sons birthday, why do you care this much.
A friend of mine once explained that a child's last name has significant importance with regards to what documentation is required for the parent in certain circumstances. The example she gave was being at the airport, if you share a surname with the children and all your passports show that, then the attendant's aren't going to ask for additional proof of parenthood. If the names don't match, then they will. I suspect the same might go for things like making medical decisions about them. Not only are you NTA, but it's important for the safety of those kids that they share YOUR name, not his.
Why even she has to ask the internet for this? You do what you want to do, no one and even the missing morron, coward sun of a b@@tch ,
Has no right to say anything. Just do what you have to do...and kick the morron away from your life forever.
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He, himself, didn't want kids. Obviously his parents demanded he continue the line, hence the fuss over the children's surname.
My father and mother did not have the best of relationships. I was not a planned pregnancy. My father was bent on all his kids having the same first initial "D". My oldest brother and sister were named with D as their first initial. My father let my mother name my other brother because, as we found out later, he was our half-brother...not his. My mother was supposed to give birth to me while my father was away on an out of state job. He gave her instructions to name me Dawn. Instead, she named me Carol after my Aunt. Thanks mom! I hate when parents name all their kids that way. "Hi..these are our kids...Tabitha, Tommy, Theresa and Tucker....." *shudder*
What a nasty little man he is, he wanted Children, chose to leave her, left her during one of the most precious of 'fatherhood' times, wanted 0% custody which proves how little Father material he has in his body, neglected to see her or the children when they were born and then turns up like a petulant child saying he didn't like their names. He sounds immature throwing his toys out of the pram. Don't newborns have to have their names registered within a certain amount of time, it's 42 days in the UK... All this man did was donate semen
He left when it was too late to end the pregnancy, he never wanted to be a dad, he just wanted to pass on his blood and name and now he's mad the name part didn't work the way he wanted
Yeah, but why end it if the child has a chance at surviving without anything tragically/ fatally wrong? No disrespect, just wondering. :)
Load More Replies... Very similar situation for me. Ex was mad when he found out the kid didn't get his last name. It's actually part of what held up him going forward with the divorce. My son has my last name which makes sense for school, activities, appointments. His dad has seen him a handful of times in 8 years.
Wtf… Was he gone for 3 weeks because he was being restrained in Abusive Idiots Anonymous meetings?
0% custody but maintaining parental rights is one of the biggest patriarchal scams. "I want nothing to do with my children, but I still want to have some form of legal control over this woman and her family." Complete controlling b******t - held up by legal institutions.
I was wondering about that too... Why parental rights? I agree with the last comment of the post: the only contact should be his money being deposited in her bank account.
Load More Replies... Definitely nta, just wondering what the names are lol :) congrats on twins!
This post is on reddit..... op won't see your comment here.
Load More Replies... Someone said he should kick rocks...I thinks it's more like dodge rocks while I try to pluck him in the head...nasty excuse for a human
What a horrible situation for that poor woman. I hope she has plenty of loving and caring support. She’s better ensure he pays child support for those kids. It’s best they have her name. One of my nephews has his father’s last name, he hasn’t been in his life and I know he would like to change his name. In a way, she is lucky to have escaped that relationship. He’s a tool.
I believe almost 0% of the AITA posts these days. Seriously, how could some even question this?
My guess would be she didn't really question it but has little or no support irl, so went to the internet for reassurance and support. Also, may have been looking for arguments to make to the sperm donor supporting her case (since people often also offer advice).
Load More Replies... He bailed, he failed, send him to the trash heap, get a restraining order, and buh-bye.
Ditch him. Do you want your children have an example of a man like that in their lives? Now way! The faster you walk the other way, the better off you and your babies will be. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how tough it is being a single mom with an entitled sperm donor. Sending you love and good vibes!
But tie it tight as possible around his very tiny malformed non-willie.
Load More Replies... I deduce that the reason he wanted zero custody was to avoid paying child support or have any responsibility for the kids. You are not the a*****e. He needs professional help and you need a restraining order. Nip this behavior in the bud now or he will continue to harass you and those precious children. Talk to a lawyer. Serve him papers outlining exactly what his rights are as a zero custody parent. What a piece of c**p. Good thing you gave the kids the surname of their only real family. Best wishes to you.
NTA, he sounds toxic, and like he would probably do it again if he could, from what I've heard being a single parent would be a lot more difficult then having a spouse, but if you want a spouse just make sure he is the right partner.
Why should the children carry a name of a person they will never get know and who doesn't give a sh1t about them?
guy is an asshat! per OP he wanted kids then reality set in so he jumped. now he wants them to have his name, a literal branding that these are his kids. good for her as she will be there for them. the name game is crazy when it comes to marriage & kids. i didn't take my ex's name & was married for 32 yrs. my son has my name, not his although he is bio dad. my reasoning is too long to put here but it was never an issue w/my ex bc as he said, 'i'm on the birth certificate'. only issue was when my son went into service bc they said he had to have his name hyphenated. it's an ego issue for this guy and nothing else.
Why are you even asking if YTA? 🙄 obviously this guy is a useless s**t stain. Nothing needs to be questioned here. Move on with your life and don’t bother with him.
Someday I am going to see an article written professionally and the shock just might kill me. He wasn't upset that his wife named the children, he was upset that his ex girlfriend named the children. They were not married. They were engaged, that's another name for shacking up and never planning to really get married.
You walked away from your soon to be pregnant wife and your children, and now you have to live with the consequences. Wonder the reason behind the decision is because he found himself a side piece on his business trip and walked away from this woman? Then either the mistress left him, then he thought he could pranced back to his twin's mamma and she'd take him back and forgive him for all the heart aches he caused..
OHFUCKNO , he should NOT get any visitation or other "parental" rights, not even being married to that waste of atoms assholevirus dickweed+!!! Not my business/obviously her decision but that's what I would choose! Well, if he'd still have to pay child support somehow. Not sure exactly how that works tbh.
This is just one of what will be a series of situations where you will be the only reliable parent. I am a teacher. Some kids end up with a parent who drops in and out of their life. The child would be far better off if the parent either jumped into or out of their life for good. Whatever happens, be sure you remain the reliable parent.
He'll have "visitation and parental rights"? What does "parental rights" mean, if he has 0% custody?
I would not allow him to be alone with the kids. He sounds like the type that would do something to them just to hurt you.
My sister changed her daughter's name to our last name and added our dead cousins name as a middle name. Her baby daddy contested the name change and woooo-boy, was that a fun courtroom to be in. The judge was having NONE of it. Baby daddy got stuck suckling air like a fish and his dad was one comment away from contempt of court. It's smart to keep records in case of further custody battles
NTA and also take every effing penny your lawyer can pry from that little beyotch's hands.
The only thing it sounds like he wanted was to continue his name. He had a business trip and suddenly changed his mind? Apparently he got a taste of single life with no attachments and decided he preferred that. He wants little to do with these kids except name them. You're the one who's raising them, caring for them, providing for them. They don't need to know their father so don't use that excuse, they can decide for themselves when their older if they want a relationship with a man who shows very little care towards them as children. A friend of mine gave her child the last name of her boyfriend. He vanished 4 years ago, hasn't contacted them since (we know he's alive from acquaintances), when asked why she doesn't change his last name and she responded that she wants her son to have a connection to his father still. Why? The father doesn't care enough to even call on his sons birthday, why do you care this much.
A friend of mine once explained that a child's last name has significant importance with regards to what documentation is required for the parent in certain circumstances. The example she gave was being at the airport, if you share a surname with the children and all your passports show that, then the attendant's aren't going to ask for additional proof of parenthood. If the names don't match, then they will. I suspect the same might go for things like making medical decisions about them. Not only are you NTA, but it's important for the safety of those kids that they share YOUR name, not his.
Why even she has to ask the internet for this? You do what you want to do, no one and even the missing morron, coward sun of a b@@tch ,
Has no right to say anything. Just do what you have to do...and kick the morron away from your life forever.
Load More Replies... He, himself, didn't want kids. Obviously his parents demanded he continue the line, hence the fuss over the children's surname.
My father and mother did not have the best of relationships. I was not a planned pregnancy. My father was bent on all his kids having the same first initial "D". My oldest brother and sister were named with D as their first initial. My father let my mother name my other brother because, as we found out later, he was our half-brother...not his. My mother was supposed to give birth to me while my father was away on an out of state job. He gave her instructions to name me Dawn. Instead, she named me Carol after my Aunt. Thanks mom! I hate when parents name all their kids that way. "Hi..these are our kids...Tabitha, Tommy, Theresa and Tucker....." *shudder*
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