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Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It
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Parenting3 years ago

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Raising a child is one of the most demanding jobs a person can take on. Naturally, doubt about child-rearing can creep its way in, making parents question the way they’re handling their struggles. “Am I being too hard on my child?” “Am I being too hard on myself?” “Am I raising Hitler?” From time to time, mothers and fathers need some encouragement, reminding them that everything’s gonna be alright. Recently, for one parent, that support came in the form of a Facebook post.

A mother had received a barrage of criticism on a previous post about her child, with people saying she was giving her child too much love. Fifteen years later she got the satisfaction of proving them wrong, and it was sooo worth it. Scroll down to read the emotional text that has already received nearly 10,000 likes and let us know what you think in the comments. (Cover image: Juanmonino)

More info: Facebook

Photographer Ashley Rose Fouts shared a story she found in a Facebook mom group, proving there’s no such thing as too much love

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Recently, one tumblr user re-shared it with this comment and it quickly went viral

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

This is what people had to say about it

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

Moms Are Sharing A Story About “The Dangers” Of Rocking Children To Sleep, And Every Parent Needs To Read It

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Hey pandas, what do you think?
Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

In many Asian countries, children sleep with there parents in same bed till they are 12 or in some cases even 15. Sometimes it has to do with less living space or no spare room for child or sometimes its just a cultural thing passed from one generation to another and everybody keeps doing it. Cuddling your child, giving extra love, doesn't makes them weak or less independent, look at how Asian countries grown and developed in recent years. Love is endless, there is no limit to it, if a child or person need a cuddle or hug, it doesn't always show weakness, it could be simply a way of expression. AND A HUG FROM MOM, IS A HUG FROM MOM, no other feeling or thing can ever outshine the love in that HUG.

Denseone Iamsiamese
Community Member
3 years ago

When I had my heartbroken recently my mom knew it right away, she didn't ask or say anything, she just knocked at my door and hugged me and said "it will pass" ... That hug made me able to compose myself and carried out my other duties and obligations... "A HUG FROM MOM, IS A HUG FROM MOM" is a treasure that I always hold dear to me. My heart was broken when I was 32. (I go home to stay with my parents every weekend, and as an Asian, I never understood the stigma of living with your parents...I mean who else is going to take care of them in old age if not family)

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stellermatt
Community Member
3 years ago

if you never listen to your child when they talk to you about the little things, they'll probably not talk to you about the big things. you can't have too much love, too much time, too many hugs. It's all we've got.

Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago

This reminds me a lot of a former friend, who claimed that he could never speak out to his family. They would go as far as to ignoring him even though he is emotionally unstable and a cutter :/

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diane a
Community Member
3 years ago

a child should never feel they are too old to ask for a hug or a cuddle if they are in need or distress

Carmen Elena
Community Member
3 years ago

Let´s be honest... We all might be 40yo or even older... but we always need our mom´s or dad´s arms.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

True

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A Dyke From The Dreamworld
Community Member
3 years ago

Too much motherly love, sorry, but what the fuck?! Love has no limits unless you needlessly put them there. Lots and lots of love is better than no love at all. And also, for anyone, just a reminder, men DO cry, deal with it. Humans have feelings. Men who cry are the strongest men, they are not scared of feeling emotion.

Lola
Community Member
3 years ago

Not cuddling your kids and teaching them to be independent from when they are babies is a totally western ideology for me. I have a friend who refused to breast feed or cuddle her kids because it would make them too attached to her. Also, her kids slept in their own bedrooms from the day they were born and she forbids them from getting into bed with her no matter what goes on with them. Every time they cried at night, she would ignore it as much as possible, because according to her, picking them up teaches them to cry for attention. Now, a few years later, she has no relationship with the kids whatsoever and they want to be with anyone who gives them the love and affection they missed. Love, cuddle, and kiss your kids as much as you can. Be their rock because they surely need one. It’s a nasty world out there and a lot of times it’s the parents’ love that we need, no matter how old.

just a thought!
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm over 15 and I still cuddle my mom when we see each other at the end of the day... Maybe for a minute or two, but it's nice to hug her and just let go of all stresses 💜

IWishIWasBob
Community Member
3 years ago

I don’t think it’s possible to “give a child to much love”. I wish my parents had comforted me more, instead mine yelled at me whenever I felt down, saying I was being a baby and to get over it. Eventually I suppressed all emotions that came my way and I isolated myself from everyone. I did however, open up to one person and he became my best friend, later my husband. I no longer isolate myself because I am getting more love from my hubby and his family. However, my father passed and my mother is more angry than ever at the world and even though I had tried to help, she still is angry. So I think that it’s good to give a child all the love you possibly can pour from your heart. Otherwise they’ll end up like I did, isolated and depressed and trying to kill themselves several times. This generation needs love, and lots of it.

Allie K.
Community Member
3 years ago

As an infant I would freak out if my mom wasn't holding me. She basically tied me onto her chest and did whatever she did. When I got older, I would go in to her room in the early morning and snuggle in my parents' bed. My dad left early so it was just us. I did that until about six. Now my mom and I have an extremely good relationship and I smile when I think back to those mornings.

Mothership
Community Member
3 years ago

Wonderful Allie. My daughter was a preemie with colic. I wore her 20 hrs a day. We are also best friends and she is now 26.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago

When my son was less than 6 months old, his pediatrician asked if he slept through the night on his own to which I said "No." He then proceeded to brow beat and badger me and my husband as to the importance of my son sleeping on his own. I told him anytime we attempted to do so, the child would cry himself to the point of hyperventilating. I was made to feel like a horrible mother because I couldn't get him to sleep through the night on his own. Turned out..my son had ASD (diagnosed when he was 4) and we had told the doctor from the beginning that he was not developing like other kids. His reason for it..too much coddling, not enough discipline. For all his education and experience, the person that finally told us what was most likely wrong with our son was my old elementary school recess teacher. Go figure! I never went back to that doctor and, eventually, my son slept on his own through the night when he was about 6.

Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

you did right; and good thing you never went back

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Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

I'd say let the child decide how much and when it needs to be held or cuddled. Even babies let you know when they need to be held. The important thing is o listen to them and not ignore them. To let them know you're there for them whenever they need you, that they can come to you when they need you, want to talk to you about their problems or simply want to share something with you.

Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

And to not turn them away when they want a hug or be cuddled.

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Vivian
Community Member
3 years ago

Although my parents both had very successful and high stress job, they managed to spend time with me every night, and every night I was read to. No matter how tired my dad was, or how busy my mom was, every single night.

Bobbi Newell
Community Member
3 years ago

I don't know who still believes that bs. Spoiling happens when you: set bad examples; let your kids get away with bad behavior; give them things instead of help them find ways to earn things. You don't spoil your kids by loving them. I cuddled and rocked my kids every day when they were small, which turned into reading time at night when they got a little older, but they always knew they could get a hug from mom when they needed it. My son is now 25, and was the one to offer me comfort when I recently had a rough day. A spoiled child would have been too selfish to bother.

Sebastian
Community Member
3 years ago

Love ur child don't listen to those bastards

Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
3 years ago

How can someone even dare to tell the mother she gives too much love. If the love is mature, understanding, caring, with set boundries for the child's benefit (such as you cannot have everything, but I will consider giving you 1 thing, just a simple example, one of many), then there is no such thing as too much love. I am then loved way too much and wouldn't trade it for anything. And I love back.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

Hello Alusair

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Jaded Queen
Community Member
3 years ago

I always wondered why some countries have such high rates of mental health issues and with such intensity, general distrust and blatant disregard for human connections. This post provides a lot of insight . So in order to create winter soldiers of tommorow u destroy these children today. I mean how hard it is to understand that people will always need each other to share there joy, grief and just simple moments. This 'dependence' makes us humans, binds us as a society. How come as a parent u can deny your child that? They carry this disconnection in all their future relationships. While it may work perfectly In professional Career, but it is bound to destroy their life's , There is no substitutute for a simple hug given by a mother. Why the problem reach such states as to require a psychiatrist and group talks. Why wasn't someone their with that person in those early stages. I don't even blame parents, they have never known the simple beauty of human connections like the one above.

lunanoir69
Community Member
3 years ago

I was born with an immune disorder and was sick all of the time, and my mom rocked me and sang to me and read to me all of the time. Shortly after I was born, my mom was diagnosed with a rare type of blood cancer and was not supposed to live to see me grow up. Her love was her gift to me. Mom died of lung and bone cancer when I was 31, but I spent many hours curled up with her in her bed, talking about all of the memories that we made together and I held her in my arms while she died. Roles reversed, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I couldn't have asked for a better mom.

Reirei
Community Member
3 years ago

I think the more contact the better, more hugs, more cuddles, more comfort. My parents were never huggy/cuddly people, and though I love them, I now struggle in life. I long to hug people, to embrace people, but I have a hard time with people in my personal space, even an accidental touch feels odd to me. It makes me seem distant and cold I suppose, whilst inside I'm desperate for a hug. So yes, teach your kids that it's good to hug and to cuddle and to hold each other.

Lola
Community Member
3 years ago

You made a very good point. Many virtual hugs for you :).

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T.Milly
Community Member
3 years ago

As a mother, I cannot fathom having little love for your child(ren). I tell my son that I love him unconditionally. When he does something that irritates me /others , I remind him of my unconditional love but tell him that I'm not happy with his behavior. How can someone resent a person that is part of them? It makes no sense to me.

Katrina Beck
Community Member
3 years ago

I live in Bali, my husband is Balinese, its never even come up in convo that we wouldnt sleep with our daughter. Its always done here. My daughter is 2.5 y d and also still breastfeeding, thats also just what you do. To people this might sound strange but when I tell them in Canada I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months, I had my own bed at 4 years it's unfathomable for them. I think now its unfathomable for me too haha I love it here and they also believe it takes a village to raise a child and that has been a huge help too!

Lilly
Community Member
3 years ago

I raised all my boys with firm discipline, lots of hugs & kisses, and even more open discussions about anything & everything. They did not go through that "i'm a teenager, don't even think about kissing me in public" & as a result i got plenty of affection throughout their teen years. They were raised to know that loving your parents & showing affection in public was NOT a bad thing. Now that they have kids of their own, they understand the joys of having spontaneous hugs/kisses, but also that discipliine is good. I can only hope my grands turn out as well as my own children did!

Debbie Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

I honestly believe that without that cuddle we may very well have had another teen suicide to read about! Well done Mum! That is what parenting is all about!

Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
3 years ago

Before I had children I worked in family law, some of the things I saw, the neglect and abuse children experience at the hands of their own parents broke something inside me and put me off having children/ made me scared to be a parent. Then when mine arrived I knew how I didn't want to parent and did the opposite of everything I saw. So much so that I knew I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be if I had to spend all my hours trying to remove children from their unhappy homes and into foster care. There is no such thing as loving too much, they will want their own space in time and you'll regret ever cuddle and story time you could have had because you're doing what other people tell you is best. Look at their children and do you want to repeat their mistakes or try to make it work in the way that's best for you and your child?

KT Trondsen
Community Member
3 years ago

So sweet. My son is 4, and I give him as much love as he'll accept which is alot :) He is sneaking into our bed at night, but I really enjoy the cuddles tbh.

Sophia Cai
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm 11 and I STILL can't fall asleep alone. The literal only time I fell asleep easily without my parents was at a sleepover, where we were watching our 3rd movie(4th? 5th?) and it was 4am.

Sophia Cai
Community Member
3 years ago

Advice, anyone?

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Kathy Custer
Community Member
3 years ago

My children have always been rocked and snuggled to sleep. If they have a bad dream they knew they were always welcome in my bed. Now my grandchildren come get in my bed. They are welcome anytime! I wouldn't have it any other way! I love my babies and grandbabies!

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

Please great pandas who can suggest a name using my name here to form a clothing company for me? I will appreciate any trya.

Miss Cellania
Community Member
3 years ago

One night crawled into mom's bed to cry on her shoulders. I fell asleep while my mother hugged me until I felted loved again. I was 34, going through a divorce.

TheKnightOwl
Community Member
3 years ago

I rocked my kids to sleep. I still sit with the younger ones (elementary school age) until they fall asleep, and to be honest I enjoy it. It gives me an excuse to stop and relax, and gives them comfort. My eldest is almost an adult, and during her saddest times I've sat on the floor and held her, subconsciously rocking back and forth until she's calmed down. She knows she can come to me for anything, and I will be there for her. I wouldn't give that up for all the riches in the world. You can certainly "spoil" children when it comes to financial matters, but giving them as much love as they need will never hurt them.

Martina Třešková
Community Member
3 years ago

Parents are here to make you feel safe. If they won't do it, I think you have to end up being insecure and scared and feeling alone. I am happy that my parents let me come to their bed when I had horrible nightmares as long as I could fit. When I couldn't, I still came to their room and slept on a chair (even if I didn't fit well). It's not about being needy, I was always very independent. But I needed that security, those nightmares were horrible. I am so happy that I got mostly rid of them by now.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

I like laying on the same bed with my Mom while growing up, will do that again if any opportunities arises as an adult. This is Nigeria we less cuddling our kids and don't show excess love to them not that we don't love them.

cwa92464
Community Member
3 years ago

It's fine to rock kids to sleep, it is key to know when to stop. You don't breastfeed an 8 yr old...kids above a certain age don't sleep w/you...don't be a pushover

rhyan lumilay
Community Member
3 years ago

Well. . .I think children being loved so much isn't bad, when they grow up it's still depends on their personality whether they want to be dependent or independent to their parents also, on how they were raised whether strict or not. I'm grown up now but still tolerates when my Mom kisses and hugs me it makes me feel secure and confident.

NWB
Community Member
3 years ago

My babe is 1....there are nights im like...why cant you sleep by yourself....then I remember it isnt forever, and she wants me anywhere from 10pm to snuggle, keep her safe, to feel close....isnt that what we all want? I dont like sleeping alone so why should she at 1?! I was never going to co-sleep but things have changed I want her to never feel abandoned that she can come to me anytime she needs me

Mary Haynes
Community Member
3 years ago

Oh how I wish I could rock my baby again--now 29 yrs old

Susan Gardner
Community Member
3 years ago

This is an amazing story. Lucky mom

Jus
Community Member
3 years ago

I wasn't loved this way after I grew a bit and now I'm ashamed of showing feelings, have trust issues and hate children. Even though I don't like talking about affection, I think it's exactly what's missing here. So I agree with hugging and supporting children. There is "too much love", though - when mothers constantly ask questions about children's health, food, clothes, everything; when they are constantly scared and hysterical. This is unhealthy and annoying.

SnowboardLover
Community Member
3 years ago

I dknt get it. Why is it dangerous?

snoozy womble
Community Member
3 years ago

It isn't, it creates a rounded child that will talk to you when they need you. But when you have a kid people always tell you not to do it because 'it creates a rod for your own back'. Basically people are saying to you once you start rocking them to sleep then you will have to do it forever, which will obviously be a burden. But tbh even with my son being 3 and a half and nearly half my height already, if he needs to be rocked to feel safe or to get calm I will rock him. Because that is what you do to make a well rounded human. If he needs space I give him space and I hope in the future he will feel safe enough to come to me about anything he needs to speak to me about. It is about bonding.

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WhiteNightMoon
Community Member
3 years ago

This is beautiful.

Crochet lady
Community Member
3 years ago

I am one of those rare people you've heard about who had 3 kids who all slept through the night almost immediately. I certainly rocked them to sleep during the day before naps but I established pretty early on that bath, reading and crib were the order of things at night and that just took. My kids never wanted to sleep with us and I can't say I wanted them in the bed with us either. But I'm a lifelong insomniac so sleep is very vital to me. My neighbor had her son two days after my oldest always rocked him to sleep and she said he never could go to sleep without rocking. Which meant if he woke up in the middle of the night he didn't know how to go back to sleep without being rocked. But my oldest son told me when he had sex and he also came to me when at the age of 25 he thought he might have an STD (he didn't). So sleeping arrangements aren't a predictor of having a close relationship.

SweetMamaP
Community Member
3 years ago

I don't think that extra love and attention to kids is wrong. I also don't fault people who want to foster independence. But there's a big difference in cuddling and coddling. I hope that when my kid grows up, she'll remember these hugs and cuddles from her parents. I also hope that she understands that we tried to teach her to self-reliance too. "I got too much love as a kid", said no one EVER.

Kate
Community Member
3 years ago

Love love love this story!

Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago

You can teach a child to come to you with your problems without rocking them to sleep every night. Also, you can rock a child to sleep every night and drive them away with other actions... really this was crazy click bait.

r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Crying over some girl for a whole day and night? I was hoping for a more serious reason...

Allie K.
Community Member
3 years ago

If someone you love and trust hurts you, it can be devastating. It's also likely amplified by teenage hormones. I'm not sure what you were hoping for, but I hope you try to me more empathetic in the future.

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Who exactly is "everyone"? It surely does not include me, so it cannot be "everyone". This seems to be a an exxagerated private story. There is no such thing as "too much love". I think there is even a proverb which goes like "love is the only thing that needs to be spent to grow". There is much truth to this.

Gerry Higgins
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Blah blah blah. Who criticized her for loving her child too much? Who? No one. I hate blogs that lie so blatantly as this one.

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

In many Asian countries, children sleep with there parents in same bed till they are 12 or in some cases even 15. Sometimes it has to do with less living space or no spare room for child or sometimes its just a cultural thing passed from one generation to another and everybody keeps doing it. Cuddling your child, giving extra love, doesn't makes them weak or less independent, look at how Asian countries grown and developed in recent years. Love is endless, there is no limit to it, if a child or person need a cuddle or hug, it doesn't always show weakness, it could be simply a way of expression. AND A HUG FROM MOM, IS A HUG FROM MOM, no other feeling or thing can ever outshine the love in that HUG.

Denseone Iamsiamese
Community Member
3 years ago

When I had my heartbroken recently my mom knew it right away, she didn't ask or say anything, she just knocked at my door and hugged me and said "it will pass" ... That hug made me able to compose myself and carried out my other duties and obligations... "A HUG FROM MOM, IS A HUG FROM MOM" is a treasure that I always hold dear to me. My heart was broken when I was 32. (I go home to stay with my parents every weekend, and as an Asian, I never understood the stigma of living with your parents...I mean who else is going to take care of them in old age if not family)

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stellermatt
Community Member
3 years ago

if you never listen to your child when they talk to you about the little things, they'll probably not talk to you about the big things. you can't have too much love, too much time, too many hugs. It's all we've got.

Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago

This reminds me a lot of a former friend, who claimed that he could never speak out to his family. They would go as far as to ignoring him even though he is emotionally unstable and a cutter :/

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diane a
Community Member
3 years ago

a child should never feel they are too old to ask for a hug or a cuddle if they are in need or distress

Carmen Elena
Community Member
3 years ago

Let´s be honest... We all might be 40yo or even older... but we always need our mom´s or dad´s arms.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

True

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A Dyke From The Dreamworld
Community Member
3 years ago

Too much motherly love, sorry, but what the fuck?! Love has no limits unless you needlessly put them there. Lots and lots of love is better than no love at all. And also, for anyone, just a reminder, men DO cry, deal with it. Humans have feelings. Men who cry are the strongest men, they are not scared of feeling emotion.

Lola
Community Member
3 years ago

Not cuddling your kids and teaching them to be independent from when they are babies is a totally western ideology for me. I have a friend who refused to breast feed or cuddle her kids because it would make them too attached to her. Also, her kids slept in their own bedrooms from the day they were born and she forbids them from getting into bed with her no matter what goes on with them. Every time they cried at night, she would ignore it as much as possible, because according to her, picking them up teaches them to cry for attention. Now, a few years later, she has no relationship with the kids whatsoever and they want to be with anyone who gives them the love and affection they missed. Love, cuddle, and kiss your kids as much as you can. Be their rock because they surely need one. It’s a nasty world out there and a lot of times it’s the parents’ love that we need, no matter how old.

just a thought!
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm over 15 and I still cuddle my mom when we see each other at the end of the day... Maybe for a minute or two, but it's nice to hug her and just let go of all stresses 💜

IWishIWasBob
Community Member
3 years ago

I don’t think it’s possible to “give a child to much love”. I wish my parents had comforted me more, instead mine yelled at me whenever I felt down, saying I was being a baby and to get over it. Eventually I suppressed all emotions that came my way and I isolated myself from everyone. I did however, open up to one person and he became my best friend, later my husband. I no longer isolate myself because I am getting more love from my hubby and his family. However, my father passed and my mother is more angry than ever at the world and even though I had tried to help, she still is angry. So I think that it’s good to give a child all the love you possibly can pour from your heart. Otherwise they’ll end up like I did, isolated and depressed and trying to kill themselves several times. This generation needs love, and lots of it.

Allie K.
Community Member
3 years ago

As an infant I would freak out if my mom wasn't holding me. She basically tied me onto her chest and did whatever she did. When I got older, I would go in to her room in the early morning and snuggle in my parents' bed. My dad left early so it was just us. I did that until about six. Now my mom and I have an extremely good relationship and I smile when I think back to those mornings.

Mothership
Community Member
3 years ago

Wonderful Allie. My daughter was a preemie with colic. I wore her 20 hrs a day. We are also best friends and she is now 26.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago

When my son was less than 6 months old, his pediatrician asked if he slept through the night on his own to which I said "No." He then proceeded to brow beat and badger me and my husband as to the importance of my son sleeping on his own. I told him anytime we attempted to do so, the child would cry himself to the point of hyperventilating. I was made to feel like a horrible mother because I couldn't get him to sleep through the night on his own. Turned out..my son had ASD (diagnosed when he was 4) and we had told the doctor from the beginning that he was not developing like other kids. His reason for it..too much coddling, not enough discipline. For all his education and experience, the person that finally told us what was most likely wrong with our son was my old elementary school recess teacher. Go figure! I never went back to that doctor and, eventually, my son slept on his own through the night when he was about 6.

Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

you did right; and good thing you never went back

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Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

I'd say let the child decide how much and when it needs to be held or cuddled. Even babies let you know when they need to be held. The important thing is o listen to them and not ignore them. To let them know you're there for them whenever they need you, that they can come to you when they need you, want to talk to you about their problems or simply want to share something with you.

Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago

And to not turn them away when they want a hug or be cuddled.

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Vivian
Community Member
3 years ago

Although my parents both had very successful and high stress job, they managed to spend time with me every night, and every night I was read to. No matter how tired my dad was, or how busy my mom was, every single night.

Bobbi Newell
Community Member
3 years ago

I don't know who still believes that bs. Spoiling happens when you: set bad examples; let your kids get away with bad behavior; give them things instead of help them find ways to earn things. You don't spoil your kids by loving them. I cuddled and rocked my kids every day when they were small, which turned into reading time at night when they got a little older, but they always knew they could get a hug from mom when they needed it. My son is now 25, and was the one to offer me comfort when I recently had a rough day. A spoiled child would have been too selfish to bother.

Sebastian
Community Member
3 years ago

Love ur child don't listen to those bastards

Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
3 years ago

How can someone even dare to tell the mother she gives too much love. If the love is mature, understanding, caring, with set boundries for the child's benefit (such as you cannot have everything, but I will consider giving you 1 thing, just a simple example, one of many), then there is no such thing as too much love. I am then loved way too much and wouldn't trade it for anything. And I love back.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

Hello Alusair

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Jaded Queen
Community Member
3 years ago

I always wondered why some countries have such high rates of mental health issues and with such intensity, general distrust and blatant disregard for human connections. This post provides a lot of insight . So in order to create winter soldiers of tommorow u destroy these children today. I mean how hard it is to understand that people will always need each other to share there joy, grief and just simple moments. This 'dependence' makes us humans, binds us as a society. How come as a parent u can deny your child that? They carry this disconnection in all their future relationships. While it may work perfectly In professional Career, but it is bound to destroy their life's , There is no substitutute for a simple hug given by a mother. Why the problem reach such states as to require a psychiatrist and group talks. Why wasn't someone their with that person in those early stages. I don't even blame parents, they have never known the simple beauty of human connections like the one above.

lunanoir69
Community Member
3 years ago

I was born with an immune disorder and was sick all of the time, and my mom rocked me and sang to me and read to me all of the time. Shortly after I was born, my mom was diagnosed with a rare type of blood cancer and was not supposed to live to see me grow up. Her love was her gift to me. Mom died of lung and bone cancer when I was 31, but I spent many hours curled up with her in her bed, talking about all of the memories that we made together and I held her in my arms while she died. Roles reversed, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I couldn't have asked for a better mom.

Reirei
Community Member
3 years ago

I think the more contact the better, more hugs, more cuddles, more comfort. My parents were never huggy/cuddly people, and though I love them, I now struggle in life. I long to hug people, to embrace people, but I have a hard time with people in my personal space, even an accidental touch feels odd to me. It makes me seem distant and cold I suppose, whilst inside I'm desperate for a hug. So yes, teach your kids that it's good to hug and to cuddle and to hold each other.

Lola
Community Member
3 years ago

You made a very good point. Many virtual hugs for you :).

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T.Milly
Community Member
3 years ago

As a mother, I cannot fathom having little love for your child(ren). I tell my son that I love him unconditionally. When he does something that irritates me /others , I remind him of my unconditional love but tell him that I'm not happy with his behavior. How can someone resent a person that is part of them? It makes no sense to me.

Katrina Beck
Community Member
3 years ago

I live in Bali, my husband is Balinese, its never even come up in convo that we wouldnt sleep with our daughter. Its always done here. My daughter is 2.5 y d and also still breastfeeding, thats also just what you do. To people this might sound strange but when I tell them in Canada I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months, I had my own bed at 4 years it's unfathomable for them. I think now its unfathomable for me too haha I love it here and they also believe it takes a village to raise a child and that has been a huge help too!

Lilly
Community Member
3 years ago

I raised all my boys with firm discipline, lots of hugs & kisses, and even more open discussions about anything & everything. They did not go through that "i'm a teenager, don't even think about kissing me in public" & as a result i got plenty of affection throughout their teen years. They were raised to know that loving your parents & showing affection in public was NOT a bad thing. Now that they have kids of their own, they understand the joys of having spontaneous hugs/kisses, but also that discipliine is good. I can only hope my grands turn out as well as my own children did!

Debbie Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

I honestly believe that without that cuddle we may very well have had another teen suicide to read about! Well done Mum! That is what parenting is all about!

Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
3 years ago

Before I had children I worked in family law, some of the things I saw, the neglect and abuse children experience at the hands of their own parents broke something inside me and put me off having children/ made me scared to be a parent. Then when mine arrived I knew how I didn't want to parent and did the opposite of everything I saw. So much so that I knew I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be if I had to spend all my hours trying to remove children from their unhappy homes and into foster care. There is no such thing as loving too much, they will want their own space in time and you'll regret ever cuddle and story time you could have had because you're doing what other people tell you is best. Look at their children and do you want to repeat their mistakes or try to make it work in the way that's best for you and your child?

KT Trondsen
Community Member
3 years ago

So sweet. My son is 4, and I give him as much love as he'll accept which is alot :) He is sneaking into our bed at night, but I really enjoy the cuddles tbh.

Sophia Cai
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm 11 and I STILL can't fall asleep alone. The literal only time I fell asleep easily without my parents was at a sleepover, where we were watching our 3rd movie(4th? 5th?) and it was 4am.

Sophia Cai
Community Member
3 years ago

Advice, anyone?

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Kathy Custer
Community Member
3 years ago

My children have always been rocked and snuggled to sleep. If they have a bad dream they knew they were always welcome in my bed. Now my grandchildren come get in my bed. They are welcome anytime! I wouldn't have it any other way! I love my babies and grandbabies!

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

Please great pandas who can suggest a name using my name here to form a clothing company for me? I will appreciate any trya.

Miss Cellania
Community Member
3 years ago

One night crawled into mom's bed to cry on her shoulders. I fell asleep while my mother hugged me until I felted loved again. I was 34, going through a divorce.

TheKnightOwl
Community Member
3 years ago

I rocked my kids to sleep. I still sit with the younger ones (elementary school age) until they fall asleep, and to be honest I enjoy it. It gives me an excuse to stop and relax, and gives them comfort. My eldest is almost an adult, and during her saddest times I've sat on the floor and held her, subconsciously rocking back and forth until she's calmed down. She knows she can come to me for anything, and I will be there for her. I wouldn't give that up for all the riches in the world. You can certainly "spoil" children when it comes to financial matters, but giving them as much love as they need will never hurt them.

Martina Třešková
Community Member
3 years ago

Parents are here to make you feel safe. If they won't do it, I think you have to end up being insecure and scared and feeling alone. I am happy that my parents let me come to their bed when I had horrible nightmares as long as I could fit. When I couldn't, I still came to their room and slept on a chair (even if I didn't fit well). It's not about being needy, I was always very independent. But I needed that security, those nightmares were horrible. I am so happy that I got mostly rid of them by now.

Asagwaram O
Community Member
3 years ago

I like laying on the same bed with my Mom while growing up, will do that again if any opportunities arises as an adult. This is Nigeria we less cuddling our kids and don't show excess love to them not that we don't love them.

cwa92464
Community Member
3 years ago

It's fine to rock kids to sleep, it is key to know when to stop. You don't breastfeed an 8 yr old...kids above a certain age don't sleep w/you...don't be a pushover

rhyan lumilay
Community Member
3 years ago

Well. . .I think children being loved so much isn't bad, when they grow up it's still depends on their personality whether they want to be dependent or independent to their parents also, on how they were raised whether strict or not. I'm grown up now but still tolerates when my Mom kisses and hugs me it makes me feel secure and confident.

NWB
Community Member
3 years ago

My babe is 1....there are nights im like...why cant you sleep by yourself....then I remember it isnt forever, and she wants me anywhere from 10pm to snuggle, keep her safe, to feel close....isnt that what we all want? I dont like sleeping alone so why should she at 1?! I was never going to co-sleep but things have changed I want her to never feel abandoned that she can come to me anytime she needs me

Mary Haynes
Community Member
3 years ago

Oh how I wish I could rock my baby again--now 29 yrs old

Susan Gardner
Community Member
3 years ago

This is an amazing story. Lucky mom

Jus
Community Member
3 years ago

I wasn't loved this way after I grew a bit and now I'm ashamed of showing feelings, have trust issues and hate children. Even though I don't like talking about affection, I think it's exactly what's missing here. So I agree with hugging and supporting children. There is "too much love", though - when mothers constantly ask questions about children's health, food, clothes, everything; when they are constantly scared and hysterical. This is unhealthy and annoying.

SnowboardLover
Community Member
3 years ago

I dknt get it. Why is it dangerous?

snoozy womble
Community Member
3 years ago

It isn't, it creates a rounded child that will talk to you when they need you. But when you have a kid people always tell you not to do it because 'it creates a rod for your own back'. Basically people are saying to you once you start rocking them to sleep then you will have to do it forever, which will obviously be a burden. But tbh even with my son being 3 and a half and nearly half my height already, if he needs to be rocked to feel safe or to get calm I will rock him. Because that is what you do to make a well rounded human. If he needs space I give him space and I hope in the future he will feel safe enough to come to me about anything he needs to speak to me about. It is about bonding.

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WhiteNightMoon
Community Member
3 years ago

This is beautiful.

Crochet lady
Community Member
3 years ago

I am one of those rare people you've heard about who had 3 kids who all slept through the night almost immediately. I certainly rocked them to sleep during the day before naps but I established pretty early on that bath, reading and crib were the order of things at night and that just took. My kids never wanted to sleep with us and I can't say I wanted them in the bed with us either. But I'm a lifelong insomniac so sleep is very vital to me. My neighbor had her son two days after my oldest always rocked him to sleep and she said he never could go to sleep without rocking. Which meant if he woke up in the middle of the night he didn't know how to go back to sleep without being rocked. But my oldest son told me when he had sex and he also came to me when at the age of 25 he thought he might have an STD (he didn't). So sleeping arrangements aren't a predictor of having a close relationship.

SweetMamaP
Community Member
3 years ago

I don't think that extra love and attention to kids is wrong. I also don't fault people who want to foster independence. But there's a big difference in cuddling and coddling. I hope that when my kid grows up, she'll remember these hugs and cuddles from her parents. I also hope that she understands that we tried to teach her to self-reliance too. "I got too much love as a kid", said no one EVER.

Kate
Community Member
3 years ago

Love love love this story!

Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago

You can teach a child to come to you with your problems without rocking them to sleep every night. Also, you can rock a child to sleep every night and drive them away with other actions... really this was crazy click bait.

r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
3 years ago

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Crying over some girl for a whole day and night? I was hoping for a more serious reason...

Allie K.
Community Member
3 years ago

If someone you love and trust hurts you, it can be devastating. It's also likely amplified by teenage hormones. I'm not sure what you were hoping for, but I hope you try to me more empathetic in the future.

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago

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Who exactly is "everyone"? It surely does not include me, so it cannot be "everyone". This seems to be a an exxagerated private story. There is no such thing as "too much love". I think there is even a proverb which goes like "love is the only thing that needs to be spent to grow". There is much truth to this.

Gerry Higgins
Community Member
3 years ago

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Blah blah blah. Who criticized her for loving her child too much? Who? No one. I hate blogs that lie so blatantly as this one.

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