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40 People Share The Life-Changing Relationship Advice That Stuck With Them Forever
Ah, relationships. Every one has its quirks, foibles, and rough patches. Keeping things on the rails takes compromise, communication, and, sometimes, a bit of help from someone who’s been through it themselves. Maybe more than once.
One person asked an online community, “What’s the most valuable relationship advice anyone has ever given you?” and netizens didn’t hold back with some absolute gems. Here’s a collection of the best, perfect for couples who want to keep it together.
More info: Reddit
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#1
I read a version of this somewhere and it's helped a lot:
"When life gives you challenges, remember that it isn't 'you two against each other', it's 'you two against the problem' "
And that's really stayed with me.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Same goes for negotiating - the other person is not your enemy - the problem is the enemy and you must work with the opposing side to solve it.
RELATED:
#2
“Never stop dating your partner. Do something every day for no other reason than to make her smile”.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
My wife and I have been married for 38 years. we clean house every Wednesday morning and then go out on our weekly lunch date.
#3
50/50 doesn't work. It has to be 100/100.
fly on the wall 1 month ago
Two pieces of advice I was given ( and sadly that took me a long time to learn): 1)) give 60% and expect 40 2) before reacting to an irritant ask yourself " is this a hill I am prepared to die on?"
Look, love might be universal, but here's the thing: no two relationships are the same. Every couple alive is dealing with their own unique mix of joy, chaos, and compromise. The internet is overflowing with advice. But real wisdom? That goes way deeper than any viral tweet or five-step formula. Because love’s not about hard and fast rules; it’s about learning how to grow with your partner.
The strongest relationships aren't built on some fantasy of perfection; they're built on empathy. Happy couples fight, misunderstand each other, and struggle through tough moments just like everyone else, but they always return to curiosity instead of blame. Psychologists have found that love thrives on gratitude, those small everyday kindnesses, and having the ability to repair things after conflict.
#4
If you wouldn’t do it while you’re happy, don’t do it while you’re pissed off. When a person is angry their emotions tend to get in the way. I rather take a little bit of time to reassess the situation than be a d**k to my wife.
#5
The grass will always be greener where it is watered.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
I think this is the first bit of actually good advice I've come across in this thread. Water your lawn first before you price out new sod 😉
Healthy love also means independence. Experts say that time apart, through hobbies and friendships, actually strengthens connection. When you nurture your own life, you bring a fuller version of yourself back into the relationship. That delicate balance between closeness and individuality is what keeps relationships resilient through stress and major life changes.
At the end of the day, great relationships don't just magically happen; they're consciously built through choice. Each day, you're choosing patience over irritation, compassion over judgment, and humor when things get tense. The best advice reminds us that love isn’t a fairy tale or a formula; it’s a practice. And when two people keep showing up and working on it, that’s when love truly lasts.
#7
Give at least one compliment a day.
#8
I once saw advice on Reddit that was along the lines of this: each person in a relationship should strive to do 60% of the work.
This is what you guys were doing.
BrownEyedGrrl 1 month ago
I've always heard that each person should give 100%. Or something like that.
#9
For anyone wondering, what OP did was take something away from his wife's emotional labor.
It's not about doing chores, it's about totally taking things off your spouse's plate. Being a full participant in the home.
sturmwesen 1 month ago
this. I organize all utilities. Last year I snapped and told him the least he can do is manage the landlord. But it can be as small as deciding what we cook next week.
According to best-selling author Mark Manson, back in ancient times, people genuinely considered love a sickness. Parents warned their children against it, and adults quickly arranged marriages before their kids did something dumb on the back of their out-of-control emotions. Why? Because while love can make you feel absolutely giddy, it can also turn you into an irrational mess. Pretty crazy, right?
Here's the thing: that intense, butterflies-in-your-stomach love is basically nature's way of tricking two people into overlooking each other's flaws long enough to, well, make babies. On the other hand, true love, that is, the kind of abiding love that’s immune to emotional whims or flights of fancy, is a constant commitment to a person, no matter the circumstances you’re facing together.
#10
Cheating and hitting should instantly and irreversibly end any relationship. There is no reason to do anything but leave.
#11
Communication be open and honest? Do not withdraw in your own world. Your wife is your partner in life. Keep the conversation going in a positive light. Always try and be positive before and negativity comes into the conversation. Most importantly respect.
You do those things your relationship will stay strong and together you will be a force.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
An honest talk with the other person should always be preceded by an honest talk with yourself.
#12
Whomever loves the least, controls the relationship.
Lawrence Robinson over at HelpGuide explains that all romantic relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
Robinson suggests staying connected through communication (both verbal and non-verbal), spending quality time face-to-face, keeping physical intimacy alive, learning to give and take, and being prepared for the inevitable ups and downs when life throws either, or both, of you curveballs.
#13
You both are settling to different degrees at different times throughout the entirety of your relationship. Keep that in mind during the rough times.
#15
If you're not grown up enough to handle a relationship then don't enter a relationship. So many relationships fall apart because of emotional immaturity on one or both parties behalf.
So what's the takeaway from all this relationship wisdom? Love starts as butterflies and evolves into something deeper, if you let it. It's messy, takes work, and won't look like anyone else's. But when you choose empathy, maintain your independence, and keep showing up even when it's hard, you're building something real. That's what lasts.
What do you think of the relationship tips, tricks, and advice in this list? Have you got any of your own gems to contribute? Upvote your favorites and feel free to leave a comment if you can relate!
#16
Don’t keep score.
You’re on the same team. If you’re worried about winning or losing, or who is doing more or less, or what’s fair to you, you’re keeping score. You’re on the same team.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
I agree with most of this, but people should absolutely be concerned with what feels fair to them in a relationship. A team that is "winning" because one person is doing 90% of the heavy lifting, while the other person fücks off for most of the match, may still cross the finish line first, but it's a recipe for resentment and contempt.
#17
++woman Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be with them.
#18
Compromise and self reflection. Understand when you're wrong and learn from it, and find a way to come to an agreement. Meet in the middle.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Don't meet in the middle - start there. But be flexible enough to realize that the middle may not in fact be where you thought it was.
#19
I thought the take featured in the movie Ira and Abby was pretty good. The gist of it is that relationships are work and settling down and being in a relationship with someone is a choice, and it's a choice you have to (re)make regularly. Fun movie, would recommend it.
#20
Don’t fix, just listen.
#21
It never applied to me but it was "maybe the grass is greener because you're not over there f*****g it up?".
#22
Never ever threaten breaking up/divorce unless you really are ready to live with it happening. Once that toothpaste is out of the tube, it aint going back. The relationship is done. The crack in the china plate has happened.
Unless it was circumstances beyond your control that made you break up, don't ever get back with Ex's. Block em on socials, block phone number, take their pictures down. Clean slate. You can't move on if you got their spirit hanging around. Much like the first one, you can't recreate the trust you had from before you broke up.
Always keep the energy you had from when you were first dating. Moving in together, getting married, is no excuse to get complacent, get fat and drunk and a slob. I know guys get attacked a lot online for not contributing in the household duties, and sure some of it may be unfair generalizations. But there's way too much of it out there that some of you guys need to step the f**k up, wash your a*s, clean the dishes, cook dinner, do laundry without asking and stop being little b*****s about housework.
#23
Never take back a cheater. That is all. That is the post.
#24
Don't say something out of bad emotion just to get it off your mind if it will have long-term consequences you wouldn't want to have when clear-minded.
#25
Have a short term memory.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
... about the bad stuff and arguments. Remember the good stuff long term.
#26
Once a cheater always a cheater.
BrownEyedGrrl 1 month ago
And if they keep accusing you, they're the one cheating. Found out the hard way
#27
Make enough money to pay for a twice a month maid service. House gets cleaned and no one's tired from cleaning, makes for a better weekend.
#29
Look for someone as comfortable alone as they are with you otherwise your just a number in a que.
#30
Maybe not the best but certainly the most accurate - for me at least.
*"Son, don't date anyone studying psychology. They are only trying to find out what is wrong with themselves".*.
#32
I had a older work friend give me some advice about the "family budget" for a 2 worker family
Each of you take a small piece of your paychecks and put them into a personal account then the rest goes to family matters
That way you each will have money you can spend without having to get the others approval.
#33
The best advise i got was "walk away.".
#34
A healthy relationship isn’t built on compromise. A compromise is where both sides give up something that they want in order to resolve a conflict. But if both sides in a relationship are constantly not getting what they want just to avoid conflict, they’ll both be unhappy. So a relationship cannot be based on mere compromise. It needs *sacrifice*. A sacrifice is where you *choose* to give something up in order to get something else, you give something up because you want and believe in something higher.
I think that shift reframes how you look at your relationships, or at least it has shifted how I approach relationships. It’s not about settling or bargaining to get what you want. It’s about thinking deeply about what it is you truly want and thinking about what it will take to get it. And a healthy relationship is about both people getting what they actually want. If you want a happy relationship, well, what will you give to get that?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Thinking of it as sacrifice will only lead to people feeling mar.tyred it's much more like staying within budget. You aren't sacrificing ordering food every night and an extravagant trip abroad, you're spending your money on what you need and what will make your life as a couple better not harder by overextending .
#35
My grandma told me to never trust a woman's words, only her actions. Never put a woman on a pedestal and always hold women accountable for their bad behaviour/b******t because if I didn't, they'd become an insufferable c**t. My grandma was a no BS person well ahead of her time. RiP Grandma.
#36
I heard [someone] say " Don't marry the woman you love, marry the woman who loves you.".
Michael Largey 1 month ago (edited)
Or a completely different interpretation (but still bad advice) - "Marry someone you can take from, not one you'll give to."
Load More Replies... #37
A very wise man once told me when I still a teenager, “Never base your worth and self worth and dignity upon the virtue and/or faithfulness/trustworthiness of any woman/women, your worth and self worth and dignity are based upon your mathematical work and your mathematical work alone, nothing else, and definitely not upon the potential weaknesses any woman/women is/are capable of.”
In the world of treachery and betrayal and opportunism I have to work in on five different continents it has protected me from harm many many times and left those who sought to harm, cheat or betray me up a tree without any ladder whatsoever to climb back down again. lol. I pass through it all emotionally insulated, impervious to it all, and completely invulnerable, which people mistake for professionalism, and I don’t correct them. lmao.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
I don't see what the word "mathematical" has to do with anything here.
#38
“If you want to see what type of woman she’ll be in the future, meet her mother.”.
#39
You lose a lot of money chasing women but you gain a lot of women chasing money.
#40
Never catch feelings for a girl with a lot of male friends.
What do you think ?
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
Especially if you're old enough that you probably don't have 30 years left.
Load More Replies...
Rika 1 month ago
Get your own blanket! I'm genuinely shocked when people complain they didn't sleep well because their partner "stole" most of the blanket. Just buy your own, it costs like 20 bucks. Separate mattresses are cool too so that you don't wake up whenever your partner goes for a wee in the middle of the night.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
Especially if you're old enough that you probably don't have 30 years left.
Load More Replies... Rika 1 month ago
Get your own blanket! I'm genuinely shocked when people complain they didn't sleep well because their partner "stole" most of the blanket. Just buy your own, it costs like 20 bucks. Separate mattresses are cool too so that you don't wake up whenever your partner goes for a wee in the middle of the night.
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