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As Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and researcher, shared on Luke Coutinho's podcast, she sees the mother-in-law syndrome in clients not just from the United States, but also from Latin America, the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Across cultures, the root cause is often the same—blurred boundaries, generational trauma, and unspoken expectations around control, respect, and hierarchy.
To get a better understanding of what this looks like in everyday life, Reddit user Magnoliabluebell_ asked everyone on the platform to share the most unhinged things their MILs have ever said. The replies they’ve received show that while the details may change from one family or culture to another, the emotional weather pattern is eerily familiar.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My first baby was a super preemie, 26 weeks. NICU for 116 days. Murphy’s law baby the entire stay. MIL called me one morning and said “stop going to the hospital! If you stop going, my son will stop going because he shouldn’t have to go through this with THAT baby!”
I cussed her so bad she showed up at NICU waiting area with food for us. I dumped it in the trash in front of her and walked away. DH told her to go home. Thirty two years later we are still VLC.
Glen Ellyn 11 hours ago
MIL has been nominated for the Nobel Witch Prize. 🏆 That's witch with a capital B. 🧙🏼♀️
RELATED:
#2
It has to be the time when she told us that she *will* be raising our baby and if I'm a good little girl, she may see her way into letting us visit
We were firmly in our 40s, this was going to be our one and only after 20 years and the baby was so very much wanted by my husband and I. There was no way on this green earth I was just going to blindly pass off my baby for someone else to raise.
The Other Guest 13 hours ago
And that's how you lose all unsupervised visits with your grandchild. Or possibly all visits, period.
#3
Me in my early 40’s trying for a second child In the midst of my 8th failed IVF egg collection & two failed pregnancies, she tells me “having an only child is the cruelest thing a mother could do”. Then, when finally and amazingly pregnant, she tells me “most IVF children have neurological problems”.
Vile shrew.
#4
3 months after I had a stroke. I’m still using a walker to help me get around.
She told me to just get over it already.
#5
When I had my 2nd baby, she told me that PPD was not a real thing. She was actually mad at me for being so emotional
It took her oldest son (my husband's brother) to have a long talk with her for her to be civil with me. She still doesn't believe it to this day... Even though I'm taking medication right now for severe PPD after having my 4th baby.
#6
My MIL was massively Bipolar and had separation anxiety. I acted as her caretaker off and on for over 8yrs. When my ex left me for another woman I began making arrangements to move back to my home state as the only people I knew in that state were my ex's family and his then best friend. I warned my FIL ahead of time so we could deal with her issues beforehand.
My MIL ended up finding out that I was leaving and broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. My ex's now former best friend helped me move out that same day. As we were taking out the last of my belongings she threatened to hurt herself with a pair of scissors. My FIL encouraged me to leave and told me that he'd take care of things. Both my MIL and FIL ended up having to go to the E.R. after she hurt herself and my FIL. Despite being blocked on everything and living over 3000 miles away she kept attempting to contact me for the next 2yrs. I still have nightmares about that woman.
#7
Similar situation - I had made mention to my wife about having a second child and my MIL chimes in from across the room with “oh no. Y’all are not having a second one.” I was absolutely speechless that someone else thought they could tell me how many children I can have.
The Starsong Princess 11 hours ago
That’s only valid if the rest of the sentence is “while you are living in my house and expecting me to support you and provide childcare.” I do know someone who said that to her daughter and son in law.
#8
This was said by fil, but mil said absolutely nothing!
My hubby is an only child. We went over to their house to tell them that he had cancer. His Dad said "well, you won't get any sympathy from me!".
#9
She told me I was a terrible hostess when they visited and we didn’t take them out to make the most of their time. For context, we were stationed in Germany at the time, and her and my FIL bought tickets against our request to meet our newborn. They landed in country the day we were discharged from the hospital so my husband had to drop us off at home to drive 2 hours to pick them up from the airport.
I’m sorry my unplanned C-section was inconvenient for her plans to be a tourist /s
And no, they didn’t come to be helpful or all the nice things I hear family members doing for a post partum mom. lol.
#10
That my child only had her and Dh DNA. She was serious, for the next 2 decades so far. Still says it.
She trained as a teacher so no, she's not stupid, Nor a ignorant village girl, just a good actor when needed.
#11
I had just injured my shoulder and was facing potential need for surgery (we were waiting to find out). I also happened to be in between jobs. I was lightly searching for jobs, but being unable to move my arm, I wasn’t exactly too focused on finding a job, I was more focused on what I was going to do if I ended up needing serious surgery (in which case I wouldn’t be able to work a job anyways).
She comes over and asks how my job search is going, and just seemed pushy about the idea of me making sure I got a job. I asked her “don’t you understand why I might not be prioritizing a job right now? I might be needing a very serious surgery soon.” She literally says to me “well I guess it’s just a matter of how we grew up. I grew up on a farm where we just worked through our injuries.”.
CalamityOne 13 hours ago
*wonders why so many farmers have crippling, debilitating issues later in their lives* /s
#12
"I just don't understand how she's getting any nutrients with that breast milk, you're so skinny."
About my 17-pound 4-month-old daughter.
#13
Oooh so many to choose from!
1. I had really hoped my son would bring home a different kind of woman.
2. I know he loves you, but he could do so much better
3. When she met our son she said thank you three times. Not congratulations. Thank you.
4. It has always been my dream to be part of a birth. Awkward silence while she stared at me.
I was 23 at the time. She said this one on a yearly basis.
#14
“Why do you need her when you have me?” — said to my husband while gesturing to me and crying hysterically.
#15
My husband (31M) and I (31F) eloped in October. We showed MIL photos from elopement on Christmas. Her only comment to us directed toward me : "You look like a witch." I'm done with her.
#16
" my husband and I have been speaking about it the last few months, and I just wanted you to know that we have accepted it the best we can, and feel it's OK for you to have this baby "
Thank God i had her majesty's permission, holding her in with keegal exercises until she could walk out wanted by these people was presenting a challenge for me.
#17
That would be when MIL started hinting about grandchildren about a week after the wedding. (We are both 47, and I got my tubes tied at age 35.) I just laughed.
#18
Probably when she texted my husband at 3am threatening to call CPS on us because she felt like our twins had speech issues that needed to be tested. They were just barely 2.
#19
Me 38 weeks pregnant.
SMIL “I’m going to have to get a car seat base for my car. We’ll call you guys up and let you know which WEEKS we are going to take the baby”
Me; sputtering, dumbfounded, caught off guard: “umm I’ll be breast feeding. You can’t just take my baby”.
SMIL; continuing to be a dumb witch: “oh you can just pump!!”.
Jane Doe-Doe 13 hours ago
So she thought you were going to share your baby with her? Unbelievable
#20
‘I hope you don’t raise your kids like you train your dog’ the moment my husband left the room.
#21
She asked me to go to family therapy with her and then mid session she told me “I hope you’re enjoying your wedding present.” Lmfao.
#22
I can't remember them all, but here are some
1. Looked right at me before looking at her son and saying in the most cringe, disgusting way possible, "That's my baaabyyy," referring to our daughter. I half laughted, half puked in my mouth to myself. Looking back, I should have laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it.
She's always wanted a fourth child but couldn't because her and her husband couldn't financially, so she's jealous and wants a do over as well.
2. After coming back from a stay cation, she said, "But it's not like you missed your daughter, I mean, you didn't miss her, did you?"
She wants to play mommy so badly!
3. (In the same day) "I wish I could raise her and then give her back when she's pre-teen because that's a nightmare age and I don't want to deal with that"
She loves my daughter so much!
patricia patricia 3 hours ago
Sorry to disagree. She doesn't love your daughter at all. She loves the idea of being a *mother*, knowing d**n well she can "return the product" the moment she gets bored of it. If she really loved your daughter she would respect you and be the loving granny, without being passive-aggressive. I don't think you should let your daughter stay with her unsupervised.
#24
While I was nursing my 4-month old daughter:
“I hope she doesn’t turn out gay because she’ll go straight to hell. But she is beautiful.”
“I know she won’t take a bottle, but I go home and cry because I can’t bottle-feed her.”
I have soooo many of these.
#25
“Well if you don’t want kids I guess I’ll just have to work on convincing [him]” talking about her son - my partner of 8 years, who also has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want kids either.
Bonus points because this was said at a family BBQ in front of her entire family.
#26
My mother in law blamed me for getting pregnant on purpose, our pregnancy was unplanned. She said don’t make another persons son a villain in your story. Then continually called my baby a sin.
#27
During my pregnancy before we found out the gender she said to me "hope it's not a girl, they always get SA'D" .... 4 days later we found out we were having a girl.
#28
My favorite was when MIL told me she won't be babysitting my child. I was pregnant at the time. She stated she was working full time and enjoyed her time off. This was while she was watching SIL's daughter, which she did for 5 hours every week while SIL & hubby went to dinner and bowling.
We made sure we never needed her to babysit, and she begged a few years later to take our kids overnight. The kids were old enough to say it wasn't fun spending the night there, so they never did again.
When our kids were teens, I was going with hubby on a work trip, so she did stay at our home to make sure the kids were fine. She was pissed I had the meals all planned out and they just needed to pull something out of the freezer and pop in the micro. She went ahead, bought and made the kids dinner one night and the kids suffered through her cooking.
She is probably turning in her grave that hubby and I have been married for 41 years now and still haven't had our marriage blessed by a Priest.
#29
When I had my first baby, the day after she met her, she called me on the phone to say ‘when’s the next time we’re gonna see her, in a year?’ Because I assume she thought she was going to see her first thing next day. And ‘you remind me of the mother of my other grandkids.’ Because I didn’t want the whole house to come over. Oh, and ‘I’m gonna have to steal him and take a nap’ when I had my son.
#30
My MIL very aggressively asked me why I refer to my son, as “my son” (as a term of endearment) that he’s not just my son, he’s my partners too. I said of course he is, I never said he wasn’t partners. It’s said with no malicious intent, just a pet name I guess?
She lost it. Same women who would constantly bring up my partner ex of 11 years ago and was told to “get over it” once my discomfort was expressed. Lady, you’re the one who’s bringing her up!
I could go on for days honestly 😅.
#31
Not to me, but within my hearing. After 6+ yrs of infertility, i just found out I was finally pregnant with my 2nd. MIL decided to say that I should terminate it because we couldn't afford another kid (2002 combined income was over $170k/yr.).
Spencer's slave no longer 11 hours ago
I would have slapped the ignorant bag in the face then permanently banned her.
#32
I had just given mine a 4 year old suv, paid off in full. My baby was 4-6 months ish. She told me if I thought more with my brain and less with my belly I would be thin by now… I had just opened my first business also and that’s what she was worried about… she also gifted me with diet pills…. Mind you post partum I was a size 6….
#33
First time I met her, “so do you know DH’s ex girlfriend- I thought she was so so sweet”.
#34
Your dad is the ok kind of brown because your kids will look white....
#35
My MIL wrapped her fingers around my oldest daughter’s wrist then says, ( to her oldest granddaughter) “you have big wrists! You must have inherited your mother’s peasant genes.” She did this in front of me. My daughter was 6. As if she gerself is descended for royalty. Her mother was a seamstress and her father was a stevedore.
#36
As I was pouring milk in my 2 year old’s sippy cup…. “That’s a lot of milk there, mom.” It was literally a standard-sized sippy cup of milk. Meanwhile, when my kids are at her house, she lets my daughter have 3 cups of lemonade, overfeeds my kids, and loads them up with sweets. 🤦🏻♀️.
#37
Probably the worst one is:
"I tried therapy, but I couldn't find a therapist who is smarter than me, so therapy doesn't work on me. It's a good thing you are in therapy, though!".
#38
I told my mother I was pregnant with our PLANNED pregnancy, my second. She said, with ice dripping off her voice, "Oh, I thought you were done.".
Kelly H. Wilder 9 hours ago
The only appropriate answer: "Oh, I am done alright--done with you and your disdain."
#39
"Why would you buy ....., you both will eventually split and then how will you share it?"
"Small people tend to have a different kind of body shape. It all just seems compressed.".
#40
So, my SO and I have been together for 6 years, and I am in my mid 40’s. His mother and I have talked about the fact that my child bearing days are over. My SO has no biological children of his own and he is a few years younger than me. So a few weeks ago his mom came over and was saying that he should become a father and have some kids and how he would be such a great father… All I kept thinking was with who? Who should he have these kids with? Now she said this with a smile on her face but I knew exactly what she meant. When I talked to her about having another child (I have one grown child) she blatantly told me I was too old to even think about ever having another child. This is what I am dealing with….
#41
Wow! If you keep dieting you might be smaller than me someday. I wore a size 2, she wore a size 14.
#42
MIL said to me “your children are not as special to me as my daughter’s children. It just not the same. A DIL’s children are just not as special.” She said this about her son’s daughters.
Shark Lady 4 minutes ago
My sister's MIL is like this, she was furious that sis had the first grandchild and ignored my sis for a year - until she needed something.
#43
When I was pregnant for the second time my MIL POS told me that they didn’t need another grandchild as they already had one (my eldest) 🤯
She couldn’t have mine over night until they were out of nappy’s (so never had them). Once her daughter had kids they were staying overnight asap. Her loss. My boys are fantastic.
#44
I’m British, in-laws are French.
MIL was reading an article about the Monster Raving Loony party in the UK. There was a typical quirky unflattering photo of a guy from the party playing the fool. My husband makes a comment on how ugly the guy looks and MIL immediately says “I guess it’s all the inbreeding on the island.”.
#45
My MIL started crying at a family dinner when we announced we were pregnant with baby #3. She was hoping her daughter would get pregnant with her first baby, which happened soon thereafter. How dare we have a third?
God, I have so many stories.
#46
My MIL is a very strange individual. She doesn't think before she says anything. On numerous occasions she's called me fat but here are a few that seriously take the cake lol. She's said a ton of unhinged things to me but for me these are the two most memorable.
1) my husband took my last name as he has no ties to his father and his mother knows this. When naming our Son we chose to name him after my grandfather and to give him My (and now also my husbands) last name. When we told MIL the name of our baby her immediate response to my husband was "Oh, so nothing to tie him to you? That's sad."
2) When i was only 5 months postpartum I got pregnant again. Yes i know thats very very early but we are happy. I'm now 31 weeks with twins so that means we are having 3 under 2. When we told MIL she immediately told me "You need to get fixed." ..... FIXED!!???!?!
#47
My husband’s mom threatened to fight me because I stuck up for my husband when he asked for a reasonable accommodation for something that his family told him that he had to do (didn’t ask at all).
#48
Too many. The one that springs to mind is when she only used to pick up our son when my husband was around to see it. I should have seen it coming after that but it just got worse and worse. Gaslighting was her hobby. No interest in my husband but didn’t want me to have him. Nutjob.
#49
Today.
She called me sick in the head.
Because I refused to let her call an ambulance due to our baby’s boogies.
Then called my family to tell them our son was suffering because I don’t take care of him. Told them I do nothing around the house. I am 4 months PP, FTM, c-section with A SICK BABY.
I responded to her calling me sick in the head “Okay you won’t see the baby anymore as I’m so sick in the head”.
#50
Whenever our families would meet and I wore makeup she’d say “oh you did your makeup? I’m barefaced today (slaps her own face) I’m too busy I don’t have time to wear makeup…you look nice though…” she’d repeat this until I or DH will acknowledge the comment.
I’ve always had my nails done with my natural nail length and just gel on top or dip powder and MIL went once to an apprentice to get hers done because it was cheaper. She went for acrylic to make them longer too. They didn’t last long on her and she commented “your nails always look lovely, mine didn’t last very long…I guess I work too hard and they just fell off”
When DH and I got engaged she’d repeatedly say how he wanted to marry her when he was a child and how his sister wants a man just like him and won’t settle for less.
During my maternity leave with my second child she’d have the habit of showing up unannounced and have coffee to “catch up”. Bare in mind I was recovering from a c section that had ripped open and infected because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t let my body heal properly. Well one of those times she came in with an Apple Watch and I was complementing her on it. She then said “oh I’ve taken 17000 steps today, I work so hard. I wonder how many steps you’re taking lately…”
Like that I have plenty of other examples. We are NC going on 2 years now.
#51
Got married 1.5 years back and gained weight (about 20 lb) due to various factors like change in lifestyle, stresses of life, etc. We were at our husband’s family’s annual Christmas get together. Due to a confusion, a relative assumed the weight gain to be due to pregnancy (an easy mistake), mentioned it to a few other people in conversations, and was later corrected that there was no pregnancy. A while later, me and my husband were playfully discussing a movie were were planning on going for, I said I’ll have cheese popcorn there, and he said “No, We’re not having popcorn”. MIL is sitting there with us and she comments, “He’s right. Everyone thought you were pregnant here. It was so embarrassing, we had to correct them. You husband was so embarrassed by this.” All this, right in the middle of a party. Had it not been hosted by someone very close to us, I would’ve walked out.
#52
I terminated a pregnancy after tests showed a fatal chromosome disorder. "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to being a grandmother!"
(I have had a much easier time dealing with my MIL since a therapist friend told me that her emotional development probably stalled out when she got pregnant with my husband as a teenager. Now I only expect the level of emotional maturity you'd get from a 17yo and our relationship has been much improved.).
#53
1) Generally disagreeing with anything I say no matter how innocuous. E.g., I say, "It's partly cloudy," and she has to respond, "No, I see the sun."
(Why would I bother with a person like this?)
2) While I was pregnant: "I will not babysit for you. I will only babysit when you are there, too."
(Ummmm... that's... *not babysitting*. Then, cut to 6 months later, her crying on my couch because my FIL and SMIL got to babysit all the time, and she never did.)
3) A whole crying conversation on my couch begging me for a key to our house and permission to drop in unannounced any time she wanted.
(Just, no)
4) "Oh, I see my son has to work all day and then come home and pick up toys."
(Said to me after I spent all day with my 2 year old twins, had just lost a pregnancy and was still full of hormones, had invited her over for a nice afternoon with her grandkids [not babysitting], and had spent an hour cooking dinner for everyone. I was plating food for the twins when she said this to me, and my husband spent all of 2 minutes picking up a few things.)
5) Generally just loves to gossip but makes up a lot of the details, so it's all just nonsense
#54
After witnessing her daughter and I have a very typical marriage spat, which led to her loudly informing a party that if her daughter and I were to divorce she would get the kids as the women "always do" and I'd have to suffer that consequence...
**"get over it,** ***it's just words..."***.
#55
We have done things a certain way for a long in our family and you just won’t be a part of them.
Talking about a close friend DH has in high school, said she always thought they would end up together and that would have been nice…. We were already married.
#56
Start commenting on how overly skinny women always look older because they don’t have the flesh to even out the wrinkles.
#57
I feel like this is a boomer thing. My mom, my aunt, my MiL, my SiL’s mother are all obsessed with their weight. They all have some form of an eating disorder and constantly talk about their weight or other people’s weight. Without fail if we go out to eat, my mom will push her food around and say, “I used to be 95 lbs.” “I used to be smaller than you.” like no one cares? Literally, no one cares how small you are now or how small you used to be. You were unhealthy then and you’re unhealthy now. Eat some fkn food.
#58
We went to visit them half way across the country and one of the first things she said to me-“Do you have a jump rope? That would be good exercise for you”. And my husband didn’t want to translate it. I forced him to. That was the first of many.
#59
I don't think mines as bad, but came from step MIL about a week before the wedding, "We (she and FIL) aren't proud to tell people you live together." Followed by unsolicited advice regarding mine and my husband's faith and that she's "not judging" just holding us accountable for our actions.
#60
She didnt say it to me but she has said to my husband “she’s wasting money, she’s not gonna use the things she buys”.
What do you think ?
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