13-Year-Old Feels ‘Entitled’ And Makes Fun Of Poor Kids, Mom Makes Him Wear Goodwill For A Week
We are currently in the midst of an empathy crisis. Whatever the cause may be – a system that values individualism and competition over community perhaps, or a loss of face-to-face human contact in favor of anonymous interactions through screens – people are seemingly finding it harder to walk in another person’s shoes.
This decline in emotional intelligence leads to people finding it more difficult to relate to others and consider alternative perspectives on life, makes us less able to listen and truly understand the problems that need to be solved as a society, and even robs us of the self-awareness needed to understand our own emotional responses. The result? An atomized and bitterly divided place where everyone is shouting, but nobody is listening.
Image credits: Cierra Brittany Forney
So how do we teach empathy? One way is through experience – getting out of your comfort zone to see the world the way other people see it. Cierra Forney, from Braselton, Georgia, knows this, so when her 13-year-old son started to get a little full of himself and looking down on others for their circumstances, she decided to give him a valuable lesson.
Image credits: Cierra Brittany Forney
Cierra’s little story went insanely viral, with over 1 million likes and shares since she wrote it back in 2018. People mostly reacted positively to her example of meaningful parenting, although obviously there were the usual haters and trolls too. She addressed these in a later post, explaining that she just wants the best for her son, and to help him grow into a thoughtful, tolerant and empathetic man.
“All the public shaming and saying my son will grow to hate me, sue me and later kill me are just awful,” she wrote. “My son and I have an amazing relationship. He tells me everything and trusts me wholeheartedly. I DO NOT care what anyone has to say about my post because I SOLELY did this to help my son become a better man. All the positive feedback and comments have brought me to tears and so have all the negative ones. All that matters is my son is completely 100 percent okay with what happened.”
“My son has learned a valuable lesson from this AND he is rockin’ the button-up shirt he bought from the Goodwill with PRIDE today!!!”
What do you think? Was this a good way to teach a child to be kinder and more empathetic towards others? Do you often visit thrift stores yourself? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Here’s how people reacted to Cierra’s post
I get most of my clothing from thrift shops. I'm low income, and could never afford the prices for new items. I have found some great pieces, and also have bought oversized clothing just for the fabric. Then I re-work the garment to suit me. Buying used clothing is good for the environment as well.
I wish I had your sewing skills. I can do hemming and waistbands but after that, I'm a disaster.
Load More Replies...
I finally have some wealth and I still shop at Goodwill. One of my roomates years back got a 5,000$ evening dress for 10$
I used to get paid out through my school years coz I wore hand me downs, home made clothes or second hand clothes. But despite that I will still continue to buy second hand clothing or wear hand me downs etc. And I often go op shopping with my kids, even spending their own money. You can find some awesome stuff at a bargain price. I love a good bargain.
That's how it was when I was growing up. Unfortunately, most of the clothes given to me were ill-fitting or in very worn condition. I learned how to sew at 12, and learned how to do alterations and repairs. The mom here could teach a better lesson by sitting down with the kid and explaining poverty and how it is not the other kid's fault that their families are poor. They are buying used to stay in their budget. I was happy when we got to go to Goodwill. I could pick out my own clothes.
Load More Replies...
I applaud people who have the patience to shop thrift stores! I hate shopping so the time it takes to look through everything to find maybe one or two things that I'm interested in buying just isn't my jam. However, I am a clearance rack and coupon junkie. My mom and I also swap clothes every now and again. If it's something I don't wear but she will, I will give it to her and vice-versa... even as an adult you can still get hand-me-downs!
Nothing wrong with goodwill. I've bought most of my clothes in charity shops since my early teens. It's amazing what bargains can be found. And if you change your mind, you can just re-donate it and the charity shop gets the benefit of your money and the money from re-selling it.
Buy second hand,children's clothes as well. There are a few resale shops by me specifically for children's clothes. Just bought my 6 month old a winter coat, price tag of 35$ on it, got it for 7$.
The one sentence that bothers me, is "He will look back and laugh at the day his mom made him shop at Goodwill." That says volumes about the mom.
Maybe it's more meant to be about his behaviour, that he'll be wise enough in the future to think his behaviour has been ridiculous.
Load More Replies...
Most of the people I knew growing up who shopped at thrift stores (myself included) did it because of the cool and unique stuff you can find, not because it was the only option. Anyway, this mom also low-key insults Goodwill by making it a one-week punishment. How about showing that you can indeed get acceptable clothes there, and that there's nothing wrong with that? That should be the message. All she did was say to her kid "Yeah it sucks but some people are poor so they have to, but don't make fun of them".
I know, right? shopping @ goodwill isn't a punishment. not the greatest message imo.
Load More Replies...
It's the other way around for me. I really don't see a reason to NOT get clothes at Goodwill or other thrift shops. It has astronomically lower prices and good selection. Most of the time unless you tell someone there is no way for them to know where the clothes came from.
Ive been to a goodwill in Canada and found mostly name brand high end clothes
What do you do when your goodwill kid feels entitled? Almost all our cloths are from thrift stores because you can find better quality and it helps the environment, along with a plethora of other reasons. My kid, I found out, has made fun of other kids for not having brand name stuff 😲 His band name came from Thrift Stores.
I actually wish that my parents had taken me to Goodwill as a child. Instead, I got new clothes, but always things like really cheap Rustler jeans and plain t-shirts. I frequently shop at Goodwill now, and often find the higher priced name brands at a fraction of the original price.
Me: 39, male, British - I never in my life gave a damn about fashion or big name brands - if I want new clothes, then for the past 20 years I will go to the charity shops first, and I will drop in on each and every one (of which there are many where I am) my view is, if you paid £90 for a t-shirt just because it's got a name brand on it, then they just robbed you. If I pay that much for a t-shirt, then I expect that t-shirt to crawl out the closet and cook me some eggs and bacon on white bread with brown sauce every day for a whole year, cos that's the only way I'ma pay £90 for one t-shirt. I pay £30 for my damn work shoes (walk through oil & grease & dirt & little bits of sharp metal) and they last me 6 months before I gotta get another pair. The point is, maybe the 'poor' kids who wear stuff from the thrift stores aren't the dumbasses after all. You ain't get rich by spending all your paper.
I like this mom. I hope her son learns something from this whole experience. People need to stop acting like they're entitled to behave anyway that they want.
Good for you, mom. We all to through stupid stuff at that age, hope he realizes it. I love thrift shopping. Now that everyone in Mari Kondo'ing their closets, there is great stuff everywhere.
I have found my favorite clothes at Goodwill and Poshmark. I feel good when someone comments on my outfit and i get to say, "Thanks! I got it at Goodwill for $3!" Tell your little guy to go to Reddit and look at the Goodwill finds people have posted. It will give him a new appreciation for it.
Seriously! The stuff I’ve gotten off Poshmark is all high end name brands, like Calvin Klein, London Fog, Kate Spade, and Ferragamo, to name a few—-and for a fraction of what they cost originally. That’s not to say there isn’t any cheap crappy stuff on there, but you can filter it out of your searches and concentrate on the better quality brands.
Load More Replies...
I live in the southern US and here you cannot get five days of clothes for 20$ at the Goodwill. It would cost 25$ to get just five shorts.
Yeah, Goodwill isn't the best by a long shot. It's the same where I live, but there's a Mercy House that's $1 per item. Salvation Army was typically $1 per too.
Load More Replies...
He shed a few TEARS because he had to shop at Goodwill?!?! This is truly sad...I'm sorry but it should have never got to that point in the first place. Maybe take your kids to Walmart/thrift stores once in a while even *if* you can afford the fancy stuff to instill some humility in them from the get go. Good for mom to realize that he needs to learn a different mindset. I supposed I was just raised differently so this seems nuts to me that a child would be so emotional over having to buy non-designer clothes.
The tradition in our family was that at 13, you were given a clothing allowance - it wasn't much so you needed to supplement it with babysitting, yard work, whatever. But it drove home the point that there is limited money in any household to spend w***y nilly. Learned to budget for the big things that I wanted (like a new winter coat or boots), learned about making poor purchases because they were fads that didn't last but had no money to replace. At 16 the clothing allowance was gone and you were expected to be working part time jobs, summer jobs etc. My nieces and nephews had the same allowance and all learned about choices and needs vs wants.
One thing kids need to be taught is the economic principle of "opportunity cost." This basically means that when are making a buying decision you need to consider not only the cost, but the alternative things you could have bought instead. The fact that they could choose not to buy anything but to save the money instead is also useful.
I feel cheated if I pay retail's regular prices. Shopping at any thrift, or second hand store is good for wallets and the planet
When my son was 12, he also had an empathy crisis and picked on his little 5-year-old sister. For the entire summer break he had to fix her lunch every day because most people learn to love those whom they serve. It worked.
My 25 year old son makes great money but loves shopping at Goodwill. Not only does it save him money but as he also pointed out he's not wearing the exact same thing as anyone else which can happen if you buy a shirt from a chain store.
Good for you mom! He will end up a nicer person. Glad you dont ignore your kids bad traits like so many parents.
I have plenty of money and I love going to thrift stores and buying quality used and sometimes brand new never even worn clothes just to help the environment.
Sure showed him....Shopping at a thrift store shouldn't be seen as a punishment. My husband and I make around $80k per year and get almost all of our clothes there because 1. it is waaaaay better for the environment 2. its obviously a fraction of the cost 3. you can afford the super expensive high quality brands that last a long time (it's really not that hard to find them). Maybe rethink that punishment and try again.
Could it be that the idea wasn't to punish him but to put things into perspective and hope he learns something?
Load More Replies...
My daughter loves to wear fancy dresses, the kind that cost hundreds brand new. She gets them at Goodwill for 6.99 each. She has a closet full of expensive clothes worth hundreds, possibly thousands, on the cheap. Seems pretty dumb to me to spend the hundreds when you can get the same exact clothes and still have lots of money for other things you want.
When I was young I never got brandnamed clothes. Not because of finances, but because I was a slob (still am tbh). My parents gave me clothes to keep me warm (and covered). I mean, I was covered in dirt, grass and well even stains of who knows what. I didn't need brandnamed clothing running through high grass, or playing in the sand like a caveman. When I got in high school I bought brandnamed clothes from my own savings, probably to just fit in. And now, at age 35 I don't care for brandnamed. I wear the things comfortable, and most of all in sale.
My parents would have asked me whose damn child I am because I could never be theirs. They taught me that the price of my cloth dont matter a damn thing. It should never matter at all.
if the kid is smart, he will continue to shop @ goodwill forever!!! my late mom taught my sister & I to thrift shop when we were kids & we have never felt like we were any less than anything else bc we shop 2nd hand. never missed out on anything - except high prices!!! I always find the kitchen gadgets I want for a fraction of the price of new & don't feel bad about trying out something I might not have been inclined to pay full price for & if I don't like it, I can always donate I back! I always have comfy, cute clothes in colors & materials I like & don't have to break my budget. THANK YOU MOM!!!
When I realized that a lot of what ends up in secondhand stores isn’t ready for the trash, but is stuff people used once and never again, thought they’d use and didn’t, or got as gifts and hated, and could have never even been taken out of the box (aka new in box, or NIB), I knew I’d be able to find some real quality bargains. Even if it’s not quite NIB, it might just need a cheap replacement part, and a check of the brand website will let you know if you can order it. Once it arrives, pop the old one out and the new one in, and you’ve got an appliance that works like a charm! I remember years ago I bought a bread maker that sold for $300 new and looked like it had been used only once, for $20 at Goodwill. It was marked down because it was missing the paddle (happens a lot with bread makers). I ordered a replacement paddle, which back then only cost like $5, and ended up using that bread maker for a good ten or twelve years before it finally wore out.
Load More Replies...
We were poor when I was a kid. I had to make my 10 euros plastic sneakers last a year even though they break almost the minute you put your feet in ... I wish we had thrift stores where I lived ...
A good tip for people who wear out their clothes (people in the States don't seem to do this for some reason). The only items you should wear then toss in the hamper is underwear and socks. Other items should only be washed after a few wearings. Washing (especially with cheaper clothes) wears them out much quicker.
You recommend a grown man wear the same t-shirt multiple days in a row without washing? Hell naw!
Load More Replies...
Yeah, that's why Indians too buy most everyday stuff from the local markets, as even the shops which have a proper showroom are expensive for parents as they are the earning members and understand that nobody cares about the price of clothes.
Most of my clothes are from goodwill or are hand me downs from random people. Kids at school are super rude when they find Out that kind of stuff About people
Almost all my clothes are from goodwill or hand me downs, nothing wrong with that.
I actually appreciate the fact that my mom forced me, against my will, to shop at places like St Vincent DePaul, Goodwill and Kmart. Although I was constantly teased in a school where everyone was wearing Nike, Levi and Vuarnet, I now look at how those same people fall all over themselves going broke and sinking into debt just so they can impress people that probably don't give them a second thought as soon as they're out of sight. I look at how fake they act towards each other and how lonely they are from spending too much time worrying about looks and image instead of having fun and connecting with real people. Kind of sad really when you think about it. I think this mom did the right thing.
Why NOT go to Goodwill? You can find some pretty nice stuff there and it costs a lot less!
Nothing wrong with Goodwill.....oh my the things that folks find in incredible.....should have taken him to a clothes bank Goodwill is too good for him
We need more empathetic and responsible parents like you. TodaYs children are very entitled. There's nothing wrong with goodwill.
I have the money to buy at Macey's, but I don't. We have a really cool Goodwill a couple of miles from here, and most of my favorite clothes come from there. About the only thing I buy new are underwear, socks and shoes.
I always go to thrift shifts...Love going there, nothing wrong with it at all. I remember one Christmas my son got a little like this, with crazy stuff on this list. I signed us up at Church to help deliver Christmas gifts to needy families. Not ever after that did he complain about not getting what he wanted for Christmas.
I grew up with a mom who worked in high end retail and was fortunate enough to have nice clothes. By the time I got into high school though, I had been influenced by some John Hughes films and my style was more aligned with someone like Duckie Dale and the best place for that aesthetic was definitely thrift stores. I still love shopping at thrift stores to this day.
It’s ridiculous to pay full price for some things. Especially for a growing kid! We shop Goodwill and Savers regularly and find the best stuff and good deals! There is always plenty of retro, fun pieces.
I was the youngest of three sisters, my clothes were always a decade out of date. Also, this mom should make him work and pay for his own clothes. Watch how quick he gets over his aversion to Walmart and goodwill. Unfortunately, kids pick up this entitlement from their peers, not from their home life for the most part. He'll probably always resent her for this. I'm thankful every day that I chose not to have kids.
I am so glad I’m not interested in fashion. I get it, but I’m just not into it.
I remember reading about a mother who did the same thing to her daughter, but she didn't tell her beforehand. She just had her daughter choose the "ugliest clothes" and I think the girl thought they were going to donate them, but the mother ended up forcing the daughter to wear them to school.
Very Good Parenting. You taught your son a lesson many parents need to teach their children.
This Mom is right. She's teaching him how to be compassionate, show empathy towards others, and is trying to raise an all around decent human. In the teenage years, kids have raging hormones, they're trying to find out who they are and are constantly pushing boundaries of society. As a mother of 4 son's, each one is significantly different in their tolerance of other people. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I have 1 bully-28 (who is a drug addict, who choses to do whatever he wants to do and not accept any social boundaries and keeps going in and out of jail and still thinks he's entitled nothing we've tried has helped), 2-25,17 who is humble, tries to ignore ignorance, doesn't care what other people say about him, is easy going, but will stand TALL when needed, and 1-14 who is still learning, goes back and forth between entitled and humbled. His father who teaches him to be entitled. My hubby and I try to make him earn things because nothing in life is free. I also have 3 daughters. 2-24,19 they think they're entitled to every thing and better than everyone else. 1-who goes back and forth. My husband and I are very humble. We've tried to teach them to be humble, tolerant, compassionate, caring, empathetic, and intelligent people. SHE DID NOT "TAG HER KID", WASN'T TRYING TO LOOK DOWN ON GOODWILL, (AS SHE STATED), WASN'T TRYING TO BE "LOOK AT ME", DIDN'T VIDEO IT..... She most likely posted it for her family and friends to see and people are blowing it way out of proportion. Each parent parents each child differently. All kids aren't the same, just as all parents and punishments aren't the same.
DON'T GET ME WRONG. ALL 7 OF MY KIDS WOULD GIVE YOU THE SHIRT OFF OF THEIR BACKS IF YOU NEEDED IT. WE AREN'T BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. WE STRUGGLE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WORSE OFF THAN US. WE JUST HOPE THAT OUR KIDS KEEP THE RULES THAT WE HAVE INSTILLED IN THEM. HOWEVER, YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK.
Load More Replies...
Most of my clothes are from stores like Walmart (Don't have one in my country) and guess what... they last longer than the brand ones, and cost 1/10 of the price. Btw, my $7 watch shows me the same time than my BIL $400 watch :)
It's a symptom of an over-prosperous society that we make fun of people for being less wealthy than we are. Growing up I wore all hand-me-down, home-made, or second-hand clothes. Probably only owned one store-bought pair of jeans a year until I was out of High School. No one made fun of my clothes or those of the majority of the rest of us who had to do that. (they did make fun of my ...um... unique(?) sartorial sense, but that's another issue) "Use it up, wear it our, make it do", was somewhat the mantra of the times and our parents were deeply steeped in the after-effects of the Great Depression. Ultimately, however, I think it was more that very few could rise to the level even the relatively poor can reach now, so we felt a bit more like we were all in it together. There was always the feeling that everyone was just doing as best they could, and that was OK. Not sure where that went, but I do miss it.
By coincidence, this comic appeared today: https://www.seattletimes.com/comics-king/?feature_id=Pajama&feature_date=2019-11-20
Should of done it for a month, What is a week going to do? -also no worries on his mouth someone will come along and beat the tar out of him. He'll learn. Careful who you bully. They may end up knocking your teeth out.
People who HAVE to have name brand are just insecure and need clothing & other status items to make them feel "cool" or to fit in, which is why it's more prevalent in school-age kids. But if you're an adult & still feel like this, you need therapy.
GoodWill is the worst. The CEO makes 700K a year salary just by selling stuff he got from free donations. They dont give back. TJ Maxx and marshalls and ross have name brands and they are pretty dang cheap.
Should of done it for a month, What is a week going to do? -also no worries on his mouth someone will come along and beat the tar out of him. He'll learn.
Sounds like his mother knows her son well enough to teach him proper social skills without her resorting to physical assault or a month-long penalty.
Load More Replies... Dear American parents: Humiliation in front of the entire internet is not a parenting method.
sorry i call Bull s**t on this one, he spent 1 week wearing clothing from goodwill, well whoop de friggen do. with all the waste in this country, with our throw away society, buy a shirt this year, toss it next cause it's the wrong color. teach him to be responsible, teach him to understand there more important things than clothing.
I mean...he was shaming other kids for something that not only isn't wrong in the first place but also isn't in their control. His mom didn't show his face, I'd say this is okay. For me it is.
Load More Replies... 
yes, because there are no kids who behave in a bad way even though their parents taught them otherwise. if your kid steals, you steal as well. if your kid takes drugs, means you take them too. simple logic. oh wait...
Load More Replies... I get most of my clothing from thrift shops. I'm low income, and could never afford the prices for new items. I have found some great pieces, and also have bought oversized clothing just for the fabric. Then I re-work the garment to suit me. Buying used clothing is good for the environment as well.
I wish I had your sewing skills. I can do hemming and waistbands but after that, I'm a disaster.
Load More Replies... I finally have some wealth and I still shop at Goodwill. One of my roomates years back got a 5,000$ evening dress for 10$
I used to get paid out through my school years coz I wore hand me downs, home made clothes or second hand clothes. But despite that I will still continue to buy second hand clothing or wear hand me downs etc. And I often go op shopping with my kids, even spending their own money. You can find some awesome stuff at a bargain price. I love a good bargain.
That's how it was when I was growing up. Unfortunately, most of the clothes given to me were ill-fitting or in very worn condition. I learned how to sew at 12, and learned how to do alterations and repairs. The mom here could teach a better lesson by sitting down with the kid and explaining poverty and how it is not the other kid's fault that their families are poor. They are buying used to stay in their budget. I was happy when we got to go to Goodwill. I could pick out my own clothes.
Load More Replies... I applaud people who have the patience to shop thrift stores! I hate shopping so the time it takes to look through everything to find maybe one or two things that I'm interested in buying just isn't my jam. However, I am a clearance rack and coupon junkie. My mom and I also swap clothes every now and again. If it's something I don't wear but she will, I will give it to her and vice-versa... even as an adult you can still get hand-me-downs!
Nothing wrong with goodwill. I've bought most of my clothes in charity shops since my early teens. It's amazing what bargains can be found. And if you change your mind, you can just re-donate it and the charity shop gets the benefit of your money and the money from re-selling it.
Buy second hand,children's clothes as well. There are a few resale shops by me specifically for children's clothes. Just bought my 6 month old a winter coat, price tag of 35$ on it, got it for 7$.
The one sentence that bothers me, is "He will look back and laugh at the day his mom made him shop at Goodwill." That says volumes about the mom.
Maybe it's more meant to be about his behaviour, that he'll be wise enough in the future to think his behaviour has been ridiculous.
Load More Replies... Most of the people I knew growing up who shopped at thrift stores (myself included) did it because of the cool and unique stuff you can find, not because it was the only option. Anyway, this mom also low-key insults Goodwill by making it a one-week punishment. How about showing that you can indeed get acceptable clothes there, and that there's nothing wrong with that? That should be the message. All she did was say to her kid "Yeah it sucks but some people are poor so they have to, but don't make fun of them".
I know, right? shopping @ goodwill isn't a punishment. not the greatest message imo.
Load More Replies... It's the other way around for me. I really don't see a reason to NOT get clothes at Goodwill or other thrift shops. It has astronomically lower prices and good selection. Most of the time unless you tell someone there is no way for them to know where the clothes came from.
Ive been to a goodwill in Canada and found mostly name brand high end clothes
What do you do when your goodwill kid feels entitled? Almost all our cloths are from thrift stores because you can find better quality and it helps the environment, along with a plethora of other reasons. My kid, I found out, has made fun of other kids for not having brand name stuff 😲 His band name came from Thrift Stores.
I actually wish that my parents had taken me to Goodwill as a child. Instead, I got new clothes, but always things like really cheap Rustler jeans and plain t-shirts. I frequently shop at Goodwill now, and often find the higher priced name brands at a fraction of the original price.
Me: 39, male, British - I never in my life gave a damn about fashion or big name brands - if I want new clothes, then for the past 20 years I will go to the charity shops first, and I will drop in on each and every one (of which there are many where I am) my view is, if you paid £90 for a t-shirt just because it's got a name brand on it, then they just robbed you. If I pay that much for a t-shirt, then I expect that t-shirt to crawl out the closet and cook me some eggs and bacon on white bread with brown sauce every day for a whole year, cos that's the only way I'ma pay £90 for one t-shirt. I pay £30 for my damn work shoes (walk through oil & grease & dirt & little bits of sharp metal) and they last me 6 months before I gotta get another pair. The point is, maybe the 'poor' kids who wear stuff from the thrift stores aren't the dumbasses after all. You ain't get rich by spending all your paper.
I like this mom. I hope her son learns something from this whole experience. People need to stop acting like they're entitled to behave anyway that they want.
Good for you, mom. We all to through stupid stuff at that age, hope he realizes it. I love thrift shopping. Now that everyone in Mari Kondo'ing their closets, there is great stuff everywhere.
I have found my favorite clothes at Goodwill and Poshmark. I feel good when someone comments on my outfit and i get to say, "Thanks! I got it at Goodwill for $3!" Tell your little guy to go to Reddit and look at the Goodwill finds people have posted. It will give him a new appreciation for it.
Seriously! The stuff I’ve gotten off Poshmark is all high end name brands, like Calvin Klein, London Fog, Kate Spade, and Ferragamo, to name a few—-and for a fraction of what they cost originally. That’s not to say there isn’t any cheap crappy stuff on there, but you can filter it out of your searches and concentrate on the better quality brands.
Load More Replies... I live in the southern US and here you cannot get five days of clothes for 20$ at the Goodwill. It would cost 25$ to get just five shorts.
Yeah, Goodwill isn't the best by a long shot. It's the same where I live, but there's a Mercy House that's $1 per item. Salvation Army was typically $1 per too.
Load More Replies... He shed a few TEARS because he had to shop at Goodwill?!?! This is truly sad...I'm sorry but it should have never got to that point in the first place. Maybe take your kids to Walmart/thrift stores once in a while even *if* you can afford the fancy stuff to instill some humility in them from the get go. Good for mom to realize that he needs to learn a different mindset. I supposed I was just raised differently so this seems nuts to me that a child would be so emotional over having to buy non-designer clothes.
The tradition in our family was that at 13, you were given a clothing allowance - it wasn't much so you needed to supplement it with babysitting, yard work, whatever. But it drove home the point that there is limited money in any household to spend w***y nilly. Learned to budget for the big things that I wanted (like a new winter coat or boots), learned about making poor purchases because they were fads that didn't last but had no money to replace. At 16 the clothing allowance was gone and you were expected to be working part time jobs, summer jobs etc. My nieces and nephews had the same allowance and all learned about choices and needs vs wants.
One thing kids need to be taught is the economic principle of "opportunity cost." This basically means that when are making a buying decision you need to consider not only the cost, but the alternative things you could have bought instead. The fact that they could choose not to buy anything but to save the money instead is also useful.
I feel cheated if I pay retail's regular prices. Shopping at any thrift, or second hand store is good for wallets and the planet
When my son was 12, he also had an empathy crisis and picked on his little 5-year-old sister. For the entire summer break he had to fix her lunch every day because most people learn to love those whom they serve. It worked.
My 25 year old son makes great money but loves shopping at Goodwill. Not only does it save him money but as he also pointed out he's not wearing the exact same thing as anyone else which can happen if you buy a shirt from a chain store.
Good for you mom! He will end up a nicer person. Glad you dont ignore your kids bad traits like so many parents.
I have plenty of money and I love going to thrift stores and buying quality used and sometimes brand new never even worn clothes just to help the environment.
Sure showed him....Shopping at a thrift store shouldn't be seen as a punishment. My husband and I make around $80k per year and get almost all of our clothes there because 1. it is waaaaay better for the environment 2. its obviously a fraction of the cost 3. you can afford the super expensive high quality brands that last a long time (it's really not that hard to find them). Maybe rethink that punishment and try again.
Could it be that the idea wasn't to punish him but to put things into perspective and hope he learns something?
Load More Replies... My daughter loves to wear fancy dresses, the kind that cost hundreds brand new. She gets them at Goodwill for 6.99 each. She has a closet full of expensive clothes worth hundreds, possibly thousands, on the cheap. Seems pretty dumb to me to spend the hundreds when you can get the same exact clothes and still have lots of money for other things you want.
When I was young I never got brandnamed clothes. Not because of finances, but because I was a slob (still am tbh). My parents gave me clothes to keep me warm (and covered). I mean, I was covered in dirt, grass and well even stains of who knows what. I didn't need brandnamed clothing running through high grass, or playing in the sand like a caveman. When I got in high school I bought brandnamed clothes from my own savings, probably to just fit in. And now, at age 35 I don't care for brandnamed. I wear the things comfortable, and most of all in sale.
My parents would have asked me whose damn child I am because I could never be theirs. They taught me that the price of my cloth dont matter a damn thing. It should never matter at all.
if the kid is smart, he will continue to shop @ goodwill forever!!! my late mom taught my sister & I to thrift shop when we were kids & we have never felt like we were any less than anything else bc we shop 2nd hand. never missed out on anything - except high prices!!! I always find the kitchen gadgets I want for a fraction of the price of new & don't feel bad about trying out something I might not have been inclined to pay full price for & if I don't like it, I can always donate I back! I always have comfy, cute clothes in colors & materials I like & don't have to break my budget. THANK YOU MOM!!!
When I realized that a lot of what ends up in secondhand stores isn’t ready for the trash, but is stuff people used once and never again, thought they’d use and didn’t, or got as gifts and hated, and could have never even been taken out of the box (aka new in box, or NIB), I knew I’d be able to find some real quality bargains. Even if it’s not quite NIB, it might just need a cheap replacement part, and a check of the brand website will let you know if you can order it. Once it arrives, pop the old one out and the new one in, and you’ve got an appliance that works like a charm! I remember years ago I bought a bread maker that sold for $300 new and looked like it had been used only once, for $20 at Goodwill. It was marked down because it was missing the paddle (happens a lot with bread makers). I ordered a replacement paddle, which back then only cost like $5, and ended up using that bread maker for a good ten or twelve years before it finally wore out.
Load More Replies... We were poor when I was a kid. I had to make my 10 euros plastic sneakers last a year even though they break almost the minute you put your feet in ... I wish we had thrift stores where I lived ...
A good tip for people who wear out their clothes (people in the States don't seem to do this for some reason). The only items you should wear then toss in the hamper is underwear and socks. Other items should only be washed after a few wearings. Washing (especially with cheaper clothes) wears them out much quicker.
You recommend a grown man wear the same t-shirt multiple days in a row without washing? Hell naw!
Load More Replies... Yeah, that's why Indians too buy most everyday stuff from the local markets, as even the shops which have a proper showroom are expensive for parents as they are the earning members and understand that nobody cares about the price of clothes.
Most of my clothes are from goodwill or are hand me downs from random people. Kids at school are super rude when they find Out that kind of stuff About people
Almost all my clothes are from goodwill or hand me downs, nothing wrong with that.
I actually appreciate the fact that my mom forced me, against my will, to shop at places like St Vincent DePaul, Goodwill and Kmart. Although I was constantly teased in a school where everyone was wearing Nike, Levi and Vuarnet, I now look at how those same people fall all over themselves going broke and sinking into debt just so they can impress people that probably don't give them a second thought as soon as they're out of sight. I look at how fake they act towards each other and how lonely they are from spending too much time worrying about looks and image instead of having fun and connecting with real people. Kind of sad really when you think about it. I think this mom did the right thing.
Why NOT go to Goodwill? You can find some pretty nice stuff there and it costs a lot less!
Nothing wrong with Goodwill.....oh my the things that folks find in incredible.....should have taken him to a clothes bank Goodwill is too good for him
We need more empathetic and responsible parents like you. TodaYs children are very entitled. There's nothing wrong with goodwill.
I have the money to buy at Macey's, but I don't. We have a really cool Goodwill a couple of miles from here, and most of my favorite clothes come from there. About the only thing I buy new are underwear, socks and shoes.
I always go to thrift shifts...Love going there, nothing wrong with it at all. I remember one Christmas my son got a little like this, with crazy stuff on this list. I signed us up at Church to help deliver Christmas gifts to needy families. Not ever after that did he complain about not getting what he wanted for Christmas.
I grew up with a mom who worked in high end retail and was fortunate enough to have nice clothes. By the time I got into high school though, I had been influenced by some John Hughes films and my style was more aligned with someone like Duckie Dale and the best place for that aesthetic was definitely thrift stores. I still love shopping at thrift stores to this day.
It’s ridiculous to pay full price for some things. Especially for a growing kid! We shop Goodwill and Savers regularly and find the best stuff and good deals! There is always plenty of retro, fun pieces.
I was the youngest of three sisters, my clothes were always a decade out of date. Also, this mom should make him work and pay for his own clothes. Watch how quick he gets over his aversion to Walmart and goodwill. Unfortunately, kids pick up this entitlement from their peers, not from their home life for the most part. He'll probably always resent her for this. I'm thankful every day that I chose not to have kids.
I am so glad I’m not interested in fashion. I get it, but I’m just not into it.
I remember reading about a mother who did the same thing to her daughter, but she didn't tell her beforehand. She just had her daughter choose the "ugliest clothes" and I think the girl thought they were going to donate them, but the mother ended up forcing the daughter to wear them to school.
Very Good Parenting. You taught your son a lesson many parents need to teach their children.
This Mom is right. She's teaching him how to be compassionate, show empathy towards others, and is trying to raise an all around decent human. In the teenage years, kids have raging hormones, they're trying to find out who they are and are constantly pushing boundaries of society. As a mother of 4 son's, each one is significantly different in their tolerance of other people. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I have 1 bully-28 (who is a drug addict, who choses to do whatever he wants to do and not accept any social boundaries and keeps going in and out of jail and still thinks he's entitled nothing we've tried has helped), 2-25,17 who is humble, tries to ignore ignorance, doesn't care what other people say about him, is easy going, but will stand TALL when needed, and 1-14 who is still learning, goes back and forth between entitled and humbled. His father who teaches him to be entitled. My hubby and I try to make him earn things because nothing in life is free. I also have 3 daughters. 2-24,19 they think they're entitled to every thing and better than everyone else. 1-who goes back and forth. My husband and I are very humble. We've tried to teach them to be humble, tolerant, compassionate, caring, empathetic, and intelligent people. SHE DID NOT "TAG HER KID", WASN'T TRYING TO LOOK DOWN ON GOODWILL, (AS SHE STATED), WASN'T TRYING TO BE "LOOK AT ME", DIDN'T VIDEO IT..... She most likely posted it for her family and friends to see and people are blowing it way out of proportion. Each parent parents each child differently. All kids aren't the same, just as all parents and punishments aren't the same.
DON'T GET ME WRONG. ALL 7 OF MY KIDS WOULD GIVE YOU THE SHIRT OFF OF THEIR BACKS IF YOU NEEDED IT. WE AREN'T BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. WE STRUGGLE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WORSE OFF THAN US. WE JUST HOPE THAT OUR KIDS KEEP THE RULES THAT WE HAVE INSTILLED IN THEM. HOWEVER, YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK.
Load More Replies... Most of my clothes are from stores like Walmart (Don't have one in my country) and guess what... they last longer than the brand ones, and cost 1/10 of the price. Btw, my $7 watch shows me the same time than my BIL $400 watch :)
It's a symptom of an over-prosperous society that we make fun of people for being less wealthy than we are. Growing up I wore all hand-me-down, home-made, or second-hand clothes. Probably only owned one store-bought pair of jeans a year until I was out of High School. No one made fun of my clothes or those of the majority of the rest of us who had to do that. (they did make fun of my ...um... unique(?) sartorial sense, but that's another issue) "Use it up, wear it our, make it do", was somewhat the mantra of the times and our parents were deeply steeped in the after-effects of the Great Depression. Ultimately, however, I think it was more that very few could rise to the level even the relatively poor can reach now, so we felt a bit more like we were all in it together. There was always the feeling that everyone was just doing as best they could, and that was OK. Not sure where that went, but I do miss it.
By coincidence, this comic appeared today: https://www.seattletimes.com/comics-king/?feature_id=Pajama&feature_date=2019-11-20
Should of done it for a month, What is a week going to do? -also no worries on his mouth someone will come along and beat the tar out of him. He'll learn. Careful who you bully. They may end up knocking your teeth out.
People who HAVE to have name brand are just insecure and need clothing & other status items to make them feel "cool" or to fit in, which is why it's more prevalent in school-age kids. But if you're an adult & still feel like this, you need therapy.
GoodWill is the worst. The CEO makes 700K a year salary just by selling stuff he got from free donations. They dont give back. TJ Maxx and marshalls and ross have name brands and they are pretty dang cheap.
Should of done it for a month, What is a week going to do? -also no worries on his mouth someone will come along and beat the tar out of him. He'll learn.
Sounds like his mother knows her son well enough to teach him proper social skills without her resorting to physical assault or a month-long penalty.
Load More Replies... Dear American parents: Humiliation in front of the entire internet is not a parenting method.
sorry i call Bull s**t on this one, he spent 1 week wearing clothing from goodwill, well whoop de friggen do. with all the waste in this country, with our throw away society, buy a shirt this year, toss it next cause it's the wrong color. teach him to be responsible, teach him to understand there more important things than clothing.
I mean...he was shaming other kids for something that not only isn't wrong in the first place but also isn't in their control. His mom didn't show his face, I'd say this is okay. For me it is.
Load More Replies... yes, because there are no kids who behave in a bad way even though their parents taught them otherwise. if your kid steals, you steal as well. if your kid takes drugs, means you take them too. simple logic. oh wait...
Load More Replies...
270
133