‘Once I Realized It, It Blew My Mind’: Mom Says People Treat Her Daughter Differently When They Think She’s A Boy
Meet Siera Bearchell, the internet’s beloved influencer, entrepreneur and Miss Universe Top 9! But Siera’s charming smile is not the only thing that catches people’s attention—she’s also a terrific mom raising her little daughter Lily and sharing their daily adventures with her 187.1k followers on TikTok.
Siera’s recent video on the platform went viral, amassing 2.3M likes where she shared how she realized people talk to her daughter totally differently depending on whether they think she’s a boy or a girl. “Once I realized it, it blew my mind,” she stated before proceeding to share her discovery with the viewers.
Turns out, when people think her little Lily is a boy, they mostly comment on her strength and capabilities, while as soon as she’s dressed in pink, they point out her looks and style. It just can’t get any more sexist than that!
More info: SieraBearchell.com
This mom recently went viral on TikTok for sharing an observation she made when people talk to her daughter assuming she’s a boy
@sierabearchellHave you ever noticed this?! 🤯#morethanpretty♬ original sound – Siera Bearchell
Image credits: sierabearchell
Image credits: sierabearchell
Turns out, people mostly point out the appearance when they think her daughter is a girl, and if they assume she’s a boy, they compliment her strength
Image credits: sierabearchell
Early childhood is the most important phase of development of a person’s life. This is when cognitive, social and emotional skills are learned, influencing lifelong educational achievement, health and wellbeing.
This time is the most crucial in building our identities as it shapes the way we view ourselves in this world. Moreover, it is during their first years that girls and boys learn gendered attitudes and expectations, realizing that society has implemented the same ones onto them. Usually, they come from the closest ones: parents, caregivers, family members, and teachers, and it’s the adults who teach them how girls and boys, men and women should and shouldn’t behave.
Often adults think little of those ‘unspoken rules’ that directly influence a child’s social and self-worth as well as their role in society. And learning these rules is most often limiting to girls in particular.This gender-discriminatory process can be seen as early “programming” when the child is the most vulnerable, and where gender socialization processes take place.
Sadly, gender discrimination is often passed from generation to generation, and many adults see nothing wrong in approaching girls and boys in totally different, often opposite ways.
And this is what people had to comment on Siera’s observation
We need.more neutral people out there! I work with kids and have to make assumptions if someone is a boy or a girl because most people are very pink and blue oriented. But I don't treat them differently. Husband and I are very gender neuttal with our kids ourselves. Daughter never got confused by others, son always for wearing pink and such. Last night he asked for a pink flosser and said it was his favorite color. Love it.
Perfect! I live in a quite neutral country but there are always odd ones out. My son did love all Colors because I taught him that there are no girl or boy Colors. He had no problems wearing pink. Until he went to Kindergarten (like US preschool). Some kids (mainly girls) told him that pink is a girls color and while he did tell them that Colors are for everyone, he now refuses to wear pink. I hate it when people teach their kids stuff like that. They are limiting their children to some imaginary boundaries. My boys favourite color is now a dark purple. I suppose its his way of a compromise.
Load More Replies...I hated wearing dresses when I was little because people would make such a fuss. I felt the fact that they were fussing over the clothes, not me.
My boys are allowed to wear what they want and play with what they want. Why can't they have a doll and a pushchair, wear pink?!
Load More Replies...That is a cute kid, male or female. But I agree, we need to point out their ACTUAL actions and praise them for being kind, strong, smart. Because every child is beautiful anyway. Let them know we see what they do, and that they are wonderful.
I work at a kindergarten in Germany and during training to become an educator we are taught about this very thing.
mum always told me i was pretty, smart, and creative. my brother was handsome, smart, and creative. but i did hate that she bought me pink clothes. i still won't wear pink.
I wonder what would happen if we refused to give kids a gender until they hit school age? Gender neutral name, gender neutral clothing. And socially rude to ask a parent if it is a boy or girl.
Children were dressed in a gender neutral fashion up until the early 20th century. You can easily find childhood pictures of FDR in a dress with long hair online. Being gender obsessed and overly gendering consumer products is very recent, as is assigning pink for girls and blue for boys. It used to be pink was seen as masculine and blue as feminine. It's all predatory marketing
Load More Replies...So many things like this happen, but how do we stop sexism? So many people are sexist, how can we prevent this? Panda's I need ideas.
It's insidious. I noticed when my daughter was a baby and particularly as she became a toddler that she was always praised for her dress, her looks her manners and how 'nice' she was. When people compliment her on these things, I always agree with and then add something i.e. "Yes, she is beautiful. She's also really strong and brave - she always climbs to the very top of everything, and she has a wicked sense of humour". In this way, I kindly acknowledge the compliment but bring everyone's attention to other qualities that I want my daughter to value in herself. Over time, I notice that it works. My mother in law now compliments her on all sorts of things instead of how pretty she is, but more importantly, it signals to my daughter that her personal qualities are what makes her special.
Load More Replies...I tell any child that I see run how fast they are. I'm paying attention to the shoes and the effort of being cheetah like Any time I had to wear a skirt or dress as a girl, I had shorts underneath. My mom befuddled. I told told her "I never know when I'll have to do a cartwheel." That's brilliant child logic :)
I just saw a girl of about eight or nine do a cartwheel. As her and her sister and mother headed my way, I told her how much fun it was to watch her. Her mother was really pleased. To me, watching cartwheels felt like good karma - I was complimented on my dancing to a street band the day before.
Load More Replies...You can say these to both genders. Why are we so separate? I personally dont like to see gender or color or how short or how tall because we're all people. Why does gender matter so much? Theres no such thing as boy colors and girl colors theres no such things as boy toys and girl toys and if guys wear makeup girls can do sports why does gender matter
Interesting. I let my kids pick out their clothes and toys, and choose their hair length. Had no problems with people acting the way the poster says. And this was over 30 years ago
I've not seen much of this myself. Not in my family anyway - the women in my family are known to be notoriously strong, we always comment how girls are strong/fast/clever and... pretty. It's sad to think that other people don't do this.
I'm glad I do both with my niblings (and people in general). I hate it when people take it to the extreme and never compliment aesthetics. Stay beautiful, stay strong and stay supportive everyone!
My son's mother thought he should have a doll's house. He used it as a garage for his cars. It's in our DNA; hard wired in.
My parents were buying me dolls and girly things - I never played with them (gave em as gift s to friends) I was into books, board games, logic puzzles, later computers and consoles. My daughter and all her friends used to play with cars and animal toys when little, now they are gaming on consoles and computers. My son and his friends played with dolls when little. Your statement is wrong on so many levels. People like what they do until parents and society put pressure and sets limits. Just because it happened your boy to like cars, doesn't mean all boys like them. Assumptions that one person sets the norm for the whole human species are ridiculous. It's not the dna, it's called lack of critical thinking and refusing to accept people are and can be different.
Load More Replies...yes because little girls are pretty and little boys are going to grow up to be men who are the ones with the muscles. rubbish like this makes me wish for a time machine so i could go back to live in a time where mothers didnt get their knickers in a twist when someone told their little girl she was pretty. the sooner this generation just accepts that men and women are in fact different the sooner we can get back to normal. and as for the author of this article, would you like a toothbrush dear? cz your reaching so far up the a**e of this 'influencer' (who i have never heard of btw) that you could brush her teeth for her
Honestly, under what rock have people been living for the past 60 years, that this is still shocking news to them??
🎶 It seems the more I know, the less I know Makes me uncomfortable Wondering if it's all for show Am I just an animal? Digging into rabbit holes 🎶
Gonna call serious bullshit on this. We have a girl, 3 months old, and we intentionally waited to see if she was a boy or a girl so we got a lot of gender neutral stuff. Well, gender neutral looks like boy clothes basically. When she is dressed in neutral stuff, people think she’s a boy. When she’s in pink or dresses, they think she’s a girl. We get the same comments. We tend to get more comments on her clothes when she’s dressed in clearly girl clothing, but it’s because it’s cuter. Gender neutral clothing tends to be rather boring. Ladies and gents, get over this crazy gender business. It’s getting tired and stupid. If we have to dig so deep as to how people react to baby clothes, we’ve lost the point entirely. Grow up.
Where do think it starts? With baby clothes. But keep trying. The rest of us are depending on you for our our world. Thank you.
Load More Replies...Always shocking that different people are treated different. What a crazy world we live in. Nearly everyone here is such a pussy, it's mindblowing.
She did not escape criticism there, either. https://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/beauty-beyond-size-miss-universe-canada-calls-out-body-shamers-1.3279528
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with difference. Just don't use it as an excuse for being an arsehole
Load More Replies...She observed something, and then posted a video. How much time do you think that took?
Load More Replies...I'm kind of new to this. How do I get past amateur status to get into the professional leagues? Should I network or do I need to pass an exam or pay union dues? I can't find anything online. :(
Load More Replies...We need.more neutral people out there! I work with kids and have to make assumptions if someone is a boy or a girl because most people are very pink and blue oriented. But I don't treat them differently. Husband and I are very gender neuttal with our kids ourselves. Daughter never got confused by others, son always for wearing pink and such. Last night he asked for a pink flosser and said it was his favorite color. Love it.
Perfect! I live in a quite neutral country but there are always odd ones out. My son did love all Colors because I taught him that there are no girl or boy Colors. He had no problems wearing pink. Until he went to Kindergarten (like US preschool). Some kids (mainly girls) told him that pink is a girls color and while he did tell them that Colors are for everyone, he now refuses to wear pink. I hate it when people teach their kids stuff like that. They are limiting their children to some imaginary boundaries. My boys favourite color is now a dark purple. I suppose its his way of a compromise.
Load More Replies...I hated wearing dresses when I was little because people would make such a fuss. I felt the fact that they were fussing over the clothes, not me.
My boys are allowed to wear what they want and play with what they want. Why can't they have a doll and a pushchair, wear pink?!
Load More Replies...That is a cute kid, male or female. But I agree, we need to point out their ACTUAL actions and praise them for being kind, strong, smart. Because every child is beautiful anyway. Let them know we see what they do, and that they are wonderful.
I work at a kindergarten in Germany and during training to become an educator we are taught about this very thing.
mum always told me i was pretty, smart, and creative. my brother was handsome, smart, and creative. but i did hate that she bought me pink clothes. i still won't wear pink.
I wonder what would happen if we refused to give kids a gender until they hit school age? Gender neutral name, gender neutral clothing. And socially rude to ask a parent if it is a boy or girl.
Children were dressed in a gender neutral fashion up until the early 20th century. You can easily find childhood pictures of FDR in a dress with long hair online. Being gender obsessed and overly gendering consumer products is very recent, as is assigning pink for girls and blue for boys. It used to be pink was seen as masculine and blue as feminine. It's all predatory marketing
Load More Replies...So many things like this happen, but how do we stop sexism? So many people are sexist, how can we prevent this? Panda's I need ideas.
It's insidious. I noticed when my daughter was a baby and particularly as she became a toddler that she was always praised for her dress, her looks her manners and how 'nice' she was. When people compliment her on these things, I always agree with and then add something i.e. "Yes, she is beautiful. She's also really strong and brave - she always climbs to the very top of everything, and she has a wicked sense of humour". In this way, I kindly acknowledge the compliment but bring everyone's attention to other qualities that I want my daughter to value in herself. Over time, I notice that it works. My mother in law now compliments her on all sorts of things instead of how pretty she is, but more importantly, it signals to my daughter that her personal qualities are what makes her special.
Load More Replies...I tell any child that I see run how fast they are. I'm paying attention to the shoes and the effort of being cheetah like Any time I had to wear a skirt or dress as a girl, I had shorts underneath. My mom befuddled. I told told her "I never know when I'll have to do a cartwheel." That's brilliant child logic :)
I just saw a girl of about eight or nine do a cartwheel. As her and her sister and mother headed my way, I told her how much fun it was to watch her. Her mother was really pleased. To me, watching cartwheels felt like good karma - I was complimented on my dancing to a street band the day before.
Load More Replies...You can say these to both genders. Why are we so separate? I personally dont like to see gender or color or how short or how tall because we're all people. Why does gender matter so much? Theres no such thing as boy colors and girl colors theres no such things as boy toys and girl toys and if guys wear makeup girls can do sports why does gender matter
Interesting. I let my kids pick out their clothes and toys, and choose their hair length. Had no problems with people acting the way the poster says. And this was over 30 years ago
I've not seen much of this myself. Not in my family anyway - the women in my family are known to be notoriously strong, we always comment how girls are strong/fast/clever and... pretty. It's sad to think that other people don't do this.
I'm glad I do both with my niblings (and people in general). I hate it when people take it to the extreme and never compliment aesthetics. Stay beautiful, stay strong and stay supportive everyone!
My son's mother thought he should have a doll's house. He used it as a garage for his cars. It's in our DNA; hard wired in.
My parents were buying me dolls and girly things - I never played with them (gave em as gift s to friends) I was into books, board games, logic puzzles, later computers and consoles. My daughter and all her friends used to play with cars and animal toys when little, now they are gaming on consoles and computers. My son and his friends played with dolls when little. Your statement is wrong on so many levels. People like what they do until parents and society put pressure and sets limits. Just because it happened your boy to like cars, doesn't mean all boys like them. Assumptions that one person sets the norm for the whole human species are ridiculous. It's not the dna, it's called lack of critical thinking and refusing to accept people are and can be different.
Load More Replies...yes because little girls are pretty and little boys are going to grow up to be men who are the ones with the muscles. rubbish like this makes me wish for a time machine so i could go back to live in a time where mothers didnt get their knickers in a twist when someone told their little girl she was pretty. the sooner this generation just accepts that men and women are in fact different the sooner we can get back to normal. and as for the author of this article, would you like a toothbrush dear? cz your reaching so far up the a**e of this 'influencer' (who i have never heard of btw) that you could brush her teeth for her
Honestly, under what rock have people been living for the past 60 years, that this is still shocking news to them??
🎶 It seems the more I know, the less I know Makes me uncomfortable Wondering if it's all for show Am I just an animal? Digging into rabbit holes 🎶
Gonna call serious bullshit on this. We have a girl, 3 months old, and we intentionally waited to see if she was a boy or a girl so we got a lot of gender neutral stuff. Well, gender neutral looks like boy clothes basically. When she is dressed in neutral stuff, people think she’s a boy. When she’s in pink or dresses, they think she’s a girl. We get the same comments. We tend to get more comments on her clothes when she’s dressed in clearly girl clothing, but it’s because it’s cuter. Gender neutral clothing tends to be rather boring. Ladies and gents, get over this crazy gender business. It’s getting tired and stupid. If we have to dig so deep as to how people react to baby clothes, we’ve lost the point entirely. Grow up.
Where do think it starts? With baby clothes. But keep trying. The rest of us are depending on you for our our world. Thank you.
Load More Replies...Always shocking that different people are treated different. What a crazy world we live in. Nearly everyone here is such a pussy, it's mindblowing.
She did not escape criticism there, either. https://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/beauty-beyond-size-miss-universe-canada-calls-out-body-shamers-1.3279528
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with difference. Just don't use it as an excuse for being an arsehole
Load More Replies...She observed something, and then posted a video. How much time do you think that took?
Load More Replies...I'm kind of new to this. How do I get past amateur status to get into the professional leagues? Should I network or do I need to pass an exam or pay union dues? I can't find anything online. :(
Load More Replies...
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