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Mom Feels It’s ‘Inappropriate And Embarrassing’ To Talk About Periods To Her Daughter, Asks Her Sister, Gets Livid When She Introduces Tampons To Her
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Mom Feels It’s ‘Inappropriate And Embarrassing’ To Talk About Periods To Her Daughter, Asks Her Sister, Gets Livid When She Introduces Tampons To Her

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Periods are a natural biological function and a fact of life for women. However, they’re seen as a taboo subject in many parts of the world for either cultural or religious reasons. Trying to push them out of sight and out of mind is especially damaging for all women, and a recent Reddit thread highlights an example of this.

As one mother was too uncomfortable to explain periods to her 13-year-old daughter, she asked the girl’s aunt to step in instead. They had the discussion about the “birds-and-the-bees” and the aunt showed the girl how to use sanitary pads. Some time later, the girl needed more help as she had situations with leakages and it was causing her embarrassment at school.

But after offering the girl tampons to use and resolving the issue, the mother was outraged. She claimed that the tampons would “take her virginity” and thought the aunt was out of line. Confused by what had just happened, she asked Reddit if she was in the wrong for doing what she thought was necessary for helping a young girl where her mother refused to.

See the story below for all the details.

Image credits: Shutterstock (not the actual photo)

As menstruation isn’t talked about enough, it’s often subject to strange rumors and myths. In a series from Tampax looking to break down these myths, they state: “Using a tampon (which is actually considered a medical device) for your period does not change your virginity status. Tampons are small, and can usually be inserted through the existing opening of your hymen — how do you think all the blood and blood clots on your period come out?”

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The mother felt awkward about it due to her religious background

Doctors and medical professionals can answer this better. Dr. Julia Brown Lancaster explained the technicalities of women’s bodies that cause some confusion about tampons and virginity.

“Girls who are virgins usually have a hymen, a very thin piece of skin-like tissue that stretches partly across the opening of the vagina,” she said. “A lot of people mistakenly think that a girl is only a virgin if her hymen has not been broken. Most of the time a girl’s hymen breaks after having sex for the first time, but it can tear in ways that have nothing to do with having sex.”

She continued, “For example, it is possible that inserting a tampon might tear the hymen (although that usually doesn’t happen). So, even if a tampon does break a girl’s hymen, she is still a virgin until she has had sexual intercourse.”

The young girl knew nothing about periods so the aunt explained and gave her sanitary pads

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It’s always better to dispel the myths surrounding a topic by talking about it more. Another sanitary product sought to do the same in a recent marketing campaign of theirs. In 2020, DAME made headlines for an advert that was the first of its kind in the United Kingdom.

The advert — shown across buses in London — was unique for depicting a tampon string hanging out of a woman’s underwear and being approved by advertising officials. More than just an advert, it was part of a wider campaign to normalize the image around periods and sanitary products.

The aunt then gave the girl tampons as the girl had embarrassing issues with leakages

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In a statement about it, they said, “For too long, periods have been hidden away, avoided in conversation or whispered about in coded language. This only perpetuates the outdated narrative that periods are in some way shameful or dirty.”

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“Periods are a normal, natural bodily function for girls, women and people who menstruate. They’re not dirty or unhygienic. There’s no need for stigma. It’s just blood. Normal, natural blood. Collected in a pad, tampon or cup. Nothing radical about it.”

But the mother was upset and said tampons were taking the girl’s virginity

A study was commissioned by THINX (a period-proof underwear producer) and completed by the New York Post regarding how periods are viewed in society. 1,500 women and 500 men answered the poll and highlighted some startling facts. 58% of US women have felt embarrassed by their period and 42% have even been shamed for it.

“Period-shame is something a lot of women feel, starting with their very first cycle, which can occur as young as eight years old,” a spokesperson from THINX said. “Those feelings of embarrassment and self-hate are then reinforced by society, which tells women that their bodies should be clean and tidy.”

The aunt asked if she overstepped her role in this situation

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Image credits: advanced__tiger879

The shame felt by women often causes them to refer to their period by more palatable names. In the study, names such as “time of the month”, “monthly visitor” or “mother nature” were the most commonly used.

It seems like the words ‘period’ or ‘menstruating’ are too much for people to handle. In fact, the first time that a period was mentioned on US television without a euphemism was in 1985. It’s bizarre to think about it, considering the long history of television by that point. Tampax — or rather, a pre-Friends Courteney Cox — was “daring” enough to utter the six-letter word.

But the people in the comments strongly supported the aunt and were shocked by the mother’s attitude

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We don’t know all the details that led to this mother being misinformed about periods, however, the aunt does mention that their own mother refused to talk about the subject as well. The intergenerational censorship of menstruation and period products doesn’t help anyone. If the attitudes to it are ever going to change, a healthy discussion needs to be opened up. After all, it’s a natural, healthy thing anyway.

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Innes M.

Innes M.

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Innes is a writer at Bored Panda. His work combines his passion for the weird and wonderful with helping others on their mission to learn. Outside of work, he loves exploring all kinds of music and will often listen to a new album every day.

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Innes M.

Innes M.

Writer, Community member

Innes is a writer at Bored Panda. His work combines his passion for the weird and wonderful with helping others on their mission to learn. Outside of work, he loves exploring all kinds of music and will often listen to a new album every day.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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jflatt244 avatar
Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once had a girl at my house~a friend of my daughters and she got her period. We didn't use pads. Just didn't, never have. And I told her all I had was a tampon and she told me her mom told her if she used it, it caused cancer. I gently explain to her that wasn't true and offered to go get her the pads. But teaching your kids lies because you don't want them to use them is ridiculous.

katkaleen avatar
KatKaleen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess the could cause cancer if you dipped them in radium before inserting them.

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wh4ok avatar
Jon S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a tangent, my mother in law recently told me that the first time she went to Iran she had all her tampons confiscated by a female security guard. The guard had never seen any before and thought they sounded too rude to be allowed in the country.

jamie_mayfield avatar
Ivana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell? So if a Doctor does an exam and has to insert anything into your vagina, does that mean that the doctor took your virginity? No! Tampons are a sanitation device. Some people shouldn't have kids. There is no reason on Earth that religion needs to mean that you don't talk to you kids about something that isn't sexual at all, it is hormonal and natural. What an absolute idiot.

florapolvado_1 avatar
Catlady6000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not familiar with the scriptures of other religions, but I do know the Bible itself is very frank when discussing sexual matters. I can't figure out the shame so many "Christian" religions teach. I say this as a very devout Christian.

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alexhead avatar
A Head
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good lord. I'm a father, and I was there when my wife and I sat down with our two kids (F/M) and talked through all of this stuff. We had pads and tampons ready to go in the kids' bathroom. I knew she had started because there was a pad wrapper on the floor in the hallway - kids aren't good at throwing things away. I've been at the grocery store and had my daughter text me to grab some pads. It's not embarrassing, it's life.

annelouise-bidstrup avatar
AnnaBanana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God, this was traumatic to read! I got my first period when I was 9 and had no idea what was happening, because my Mum had never had ANY kind of birds and bees talk with me. I ended up asking a friend what was happening and she told her mother, who then explained everything and actually celebrated the fact that "you're a woman, darling! Congratulations!!" She then rang my mother and I went home. My Mum acted like it was the worst thing in the world and gave me one of those old fashioned belt things that you attach a pad to, then wear it round your waist like some kind of weird garter belt. I grew up thinking periods were SO shameful and embarrassing and it took me YEARS to get over it.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my goodness, nine years old! How terrifying for a young girl. I'm sorry it was so awful for you.

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imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd had the period talk already, but when my first period hit, I still freaked out. Why? It didn't look like blood. I thought my guts were rotting out or something! Sure felt like it. I have no idea why I didn't make the connection. So... supportive adults, make sure you mention that it might not look like blood at first!

tami_6 avatar
Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't freak, but had the same experience. Thought it was just some weird brownish-black grunge. The last one looked the same!

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florapolvado_1 avatar
Catlady6000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Christian, I will never understand this . The Bible is very frank when speaking of reproduction processes. It speaks frankly about periods, withdrawal, seminal emissions, etc. I don't understand the religions that make the human body, and everything God designed it to do, as something shameful. If you truly believe in God, why be ashamed of his Creation?

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom did give me the period talk bc she never had one growing up and it was a traumatizing experience when she had it the first time. Sex however I learned from my cousin. She never had a talk with me about it nor about the other things teenagers deal with in making choices. Her idea of parenting was to say “no, because I said so.” As one can imagine I made A LOT of poor choices when I reached adulthood because I wasn’t properly trained in how to make wise decisions on my own.

aragorn_elessar4 avatar
Derek Clark
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not talking to your daughter before her first period is already where it went wrong, the mom knowingly let her daughter be thinking the worst when she started bleeding. And then she'd rather have her child be bullied for having bloody pants?

stacywinnubst avatar
SBW71
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How stupid is this girl's mother?? If she's that dumb she never should have had children then.

saharan_sand avatar
Slick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are women asshame of periods ? Why is it taboo ? Religious people often think it's as "nasty" as sex. But then going on about how women should bare child because god made them for that reason. Well, news flesh ! You can't get pregnant without a uterus and that thing bleeds and it's normal. Why are we so afraid of such thing ? We claim to be intelligent, rightious, moraled and rational yet our own natural bodily function is embarassing ? Who's logic is this ? Karen ?! You need to remove your uterus if it bothers you that much. So no child of yours would suffer your stupidity.

elien-noyen avatar
Elaine N
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t understand why it is such a shameful thing to talk about. I had sex education in school when I was 10 years old. We learned everything. There was no difference in boys or girls, we all learned about pads, std’s, condoms etc.. a lot of people say it’s too young but that education doesn’t mean you start having sex, you are just prepared what your body is going through.

patriciaross avatar
tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but it is just to late in human evolution to be that ignorant.

bhowardmckinney avatar
Ben Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At this point everyone asking AITA is just attempting a virtue signal. Like does the OP really think she might be the asshole here? She’s just bitching about her crazy sister.

conniebohone avatar
Beans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, half the crap on AITA and r/relationships (and a bunch of other reddit subs like choosing beggars and stuff) is all fake clickbait. It's really sad.

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carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That mother should be shot. First she doesn't do anything for her daughter, puts the responsibility on the aunts shoulders and then gives her bs! That poor daughter.

jflatt244 avatar
Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't know why you're being down voted her. Are the insecure men stalking you?

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it that a woman who has a child, let alone one old enough to have periods, thinks that tampons make you lose your virginity? Faith in humanity dropping...

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before even reading the first line I was like "let me guess, oppressive religious nut." Yup. My mother like many were against tampons just like they were against shaving your armpits. It's all a way to police girls with old wives tales and it's very dangerous. It's people clinging on to their control. Also the tampon/pad argument is ridiculous. Many girls use - can you believe it? BOTH. As needed. 13 is too old for the period talk. 13 injustice the average, many girls have it at 11 and 12 already

stellalehggs avatar
StellaLehggs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most definitely not the asshole. My mom wasn't religious but didn't explain much to me. She gave me a book on puberty for girls, and I learned most things through that and the internet. But turns out I was lucky, because some women I know grew up in religious households or their parents did and had NOTHING explained to them. Hell, when my friends in junior high started getting their periods, alot of them asked ME about what to do because their mom's wouldn't tell them, or they were too embarrassed to ask. It's seriously really f*****g damaging when you don't talk to your daughters about this. I just keep thinking about "Carrie" now.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had to calm down about this one, but here goes.... Pardon the yelling.....THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PREACH ABSTINENCE INSTEAD OF TEACHING HEALTH AND BASIC ANATOMY. As a med student, 17yo girl's mom flipped out that we were gonna "steal her baby's purity" in a standard pelvic; 17yo had "weird tummy feelings"; turned out someone got to the daughter waaaay before we did b/c mommy never told her how she could get pregnant, and now the daughter was gonna be a mommy. You can't make that sh*t up. girl honestly had no idea what intercourse was, and thought she only had a hole for urine and for poo, and her period came out of *those*.

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Religion is a poison and the minds of people who believe in this backwards backwoods shît are poisoned as well.

oki avatar
Oki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Knowledge is power. We need to learn so much, and shaming will put a stop to that. So, to remove period blood stains (or washing reusable pads): Soak overnight in COLD water, with a bit of laundry detergent in a basin. Pop into the washing machine for a regular cycle. *works best on cotton, and the sooner the better.

kathrynfellis avatar
marinamercouri avatar
Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this mother lives in the Middle Ages and has made herself irrelevant. How relevant do you think her story will be to your readers?

just_a_spooky_dude avatar
XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay- First of all: Virginity isn't even a real thing, yes there's a "first time" but the whole virginity thing is just a bunch of bullshit people made up so they could shame women, and second of all: A f*****g t a m p o n is not the same as having sex, what the actual f**k is wrong with this woman?

monakhadra avatar
Mona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sick of these religious nuts being ashamed for being human beings. Don't have a daughter if you're not ever going to be prepared to talk to her about important things involving human body in life!

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, give the niece a menstrual cup (available at Target!) and watch her really freak out! I leaked when I used tampons. The girl needs both heavier pads and a visit to a dr for anemia and help with a heavy flow and cramps that come with it. Maybe some hormone pills, lol.

sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sis has no problem talking period stuff. She's graphic. But can't talk about sex to save her life. Double if I make a sex related joke or say anything about sex. I'm extremely candid. When my nephew needs the sex talk, apparently I'm in charge of that. I'm ok with it, because of my sisters squeemishness I'm afraid she'd massively botch it.

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Naturally this aunt should be stupid wealthy as naturally most mothers call her to explain puberty to their daughters.

elisa_joelle avatar
Efia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. The mother is ashamed of words/topics like vaginas, penisses or sex, but surely enjoyed these things while producing her kids.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the girl was having leaking at school, it's because she wasn't taking enough spares along and or wasn't changing them often enough, and I don't know if that was a problem with the daughter or the mother. Probably the latter, as the mother sounds like every possible kind of fool, she could even be someone who'd forbid her daughter to take anything "embarrassing" to school.

conniebohone avatar
Beans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes but sometimes periods (hah, no pun intended) at school are really long. We had one at 70 mins before lunch which was tricky for me because I could potentially leak during that and getting a pad to the bathroom (we werent allowed to take backpacks to the bathroom during class) or hiding a pad in my school uniform were tricky because I didnt want the others at school to know I had my period already. I basically had to palm a pad if I felt heavier/wetter than usual and try and get to the bathroom without anyone seeing it.

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mommyinpjs avatar
Heather Heslop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Religion doesn’t mean we can’t discuss the natural way of things. I’m very religious and my parents didn’t tell me squat. Figuring it out on my own was awful. Now I am very religious but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have open honest conversations about our bodies. Talking about periods and even sex does not make a dirty or inappropriate conversation.

eglbukauskait avatar
Eglė Bukauskaitė
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, institutions should be involved for child neglect... Poor girl is raising in a religious sect!!

bluepearl avatar
Blue Pearl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Notice how mommy dearest basically blamed the girl when told about the stained clothes and apparently is rummaging through her backpack.

shruti_1 avatar
Shruti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tampons are more natural material than pads. when I was teen I used cloths because I didn't know about tampons. Never pads.

kubikiri-houcho avatar
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you have penetrative sex with another persons genital ? No ? Then you're a virgin. congrats, means nothing.

lauramora6391 avatar
MrsC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart goes out to the young lady. My mother only told me that periods were shameful and that I was to discuss it with no one, even her. Used pads were to be wrapped up and hidden in the trash. I was lucky that she was willing to buy pads for me. I was so lucky to have an aunt to talk to. She kept me supplied with tampons. I could ask her anything!

morganharbridge avatar
Morgan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does this kid in the story not have friends, sex-ed in school or the internet?

damonrn avatar
Theoretical Empiricist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still wondering how the mother, given her reluctance to talk about anything "down there", could even bring herself to procreate.

gwenchapman avatar
RandomBeing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm honestly probably a bit too frank about my period (its only really weird I guess cuz im more open about it than others I know. Especially around guys). I don't really make any effort to conceal it that much. I just can't wrap my head around why it SHOULD be taboo (or at least any more taboo than talking about other body stuff). In general I don't often get uncomfortable when discussing body stuff unless others are uncomfortable. I don't see a practical reason for body stuff to be taboo.

bakerkaraj avatar
-alex_the_trans_demon-
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who has suffered with leakage during shark week, it's effing terrible, and making a girl feel like it's her fault makes you terrible. It's that simple.

deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once a year at my elementary school, the school nurse held a private screening of a movie about the female anatomy and menstruation. It was screened for all 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade girls, and their moms OR dads. There was a question and answer session afterward. This was mid to late 60's USA.

westwingpotus avatar
westwing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone this insanely ignorant should not be breeding…..

rhondaberaun avatar
Caiman 94920
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago in high school, my sister and her friend found me in the school library (worked there one period) to ask if I had anything for a 3rd friend who had just started her period. I had some tampons, the OB brand that didn't have an inserter, so i gave them one. A few minutes later they came back laughing so hard, the girl went into the bathroom stall to use the tampon and asked "where do I put it?" My sister's friend was hysterical, she had already had a couple of kids by 2 different baby daddies (at 16!). the 3rd friend was from a very conservative, sheltered family and still a virgin.....had no concept of her own anatomy

antonkider avatar
Anton Kider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You told her when she got her first period. ? Didn't she know before that ?

mittenkg avatar
FrancesCat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just gonna assume this took place in the good ole USA. Christians!

jflatt244 avatar
Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once had a girl at my house~a friend of my daughters and she got her period. We didn't use pads. Just didn't, never have. And I told her all I had was a tampon and she told me her mom told her if she used it, it caused cancer. I gently explain to her that wasn't true and offered to go get her the pads. But teaching your kids lies because you don't want them to use them is ridiculous.

katkaleen avatar
KatKaleen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess the could cause cancer if you dipped them in radium before inserting them.

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wh4ok avatar
Jon S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On a tangent, my mother in law recently told me that the first time she went to Iran she had all her tampons confiscated by a female security guard. The guard had never seen any before and thought they sounded too rude to be allowed in the country.

jamie_mayfield avatar
Ivana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell? So if a Doctor does an exam and has to insert anything into your vagina, does that mean that the doctor took your virginity? No! Tampons are a sanitation device. Some people shouldn't have kids. There is no reason on Earth that religion needs to mean that you don't talk to you kids about something that isn't sexual at all, it is hormonal and natural. What an absolute idiot.

florapolvado_1 avatar
Catlady6000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not familiar with the scriptures of other religions, but I do know the Bible itself is very frank when discussing sexual matters. I can't figure out the shame so many "Christian" religions teach. I say this as a very devout Christian.

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alexhead avatar
A Head
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good lord. I'm a father, and I was there when my wife and I sat down with our two kids (F/M) and talked through all of this stuff. We had pads and tampons ready to go in the kids' bathroom. I knew she had started because there was a pad wrapper on the floor in the hallway - kids aren't good at throwing things away. I've been at the grocery store and had my daughter text me to grab some pads. It's not embarrassing, it's life.

annelouise-bidstrup avatar
AnnaBanana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God, this was traumatic to read! I got my first period when I was 9 and had no idea what was happening, because my Mum had never had ANY kind of birds and bees talk with me. I ended up asking a friend what was happening and she told her mother, who then explained everything and actually celebrated the fact that "you're a woman, darling! Congratulations!!" She then rang my mother and I went home. My Mum acted like it was the worst thing in the world and gave me one of those old fashioned belt things that you attach a pad to, then wear it round your waist like some kind of weird garter belt. I grew up thinking periods were SO shameful and embarrassing and it took me YEARS to get over it.

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh my goodness, nine years old! How terrifying for a young girl. I'm sorry it was so awful for you.

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imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd had the period talk already, but when my first period hit, I still freaked out. Why? It didn't look like blood. I thought my guts were rotting out or something! Sure felt like it. I have no idea why I didn't make the connection. So... supportive adults, make sure you mention that it might not look like blood at first!

tami_6 avatar
Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't freak, but had the same experience. Thought it was just some weird brownish-black grunge. The last one looked the same!

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florapolvado_1 avatar
Catlady6000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Christian, I will never understand this . The Bible is very frank when speaking of reproduction processes. It speaks frankly about periods, withdrawal, seminal emissions, etc. I don't understand the religions that make the human body, and everything God designed it to do, as something shameful. If you truly believe in God, why be ashamed of his Creation?

sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom did give me the period talk bc she never had one growing up and it was a traumatizing experience when she had it the first time. Sex however I learned from my cousin. She never had a talk with me about it nor about the other things teenagers deal with in making choices. Her idea of parenting was to say “no, because I said so.” As one can imagine I made A LOT of poor choices when I reached adulthood because I wasn’t properly trained in how to make wise decisions on my own.

aragorn_elessar4 avatar
Derek Clark
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not talking to your daughter before her first period is already where it went wrong, the mom knowingly let her daughter be thinking the worst when she started bleeding. And then she'd rather have her child be bullied for having bloody pants?

stacywinnubst avatar
SBW71
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How stupid is this girl's mother?? If she's that dumb she never should have had children then.

saharan_sand avatar
Slick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are women asshame of periods ? Why is it taboo ? Religious people often think it's as "nasty" as sex. But then going on about how women should bare child because god made them for that reason. Well, news flesh ! You can't get pregnant without a uterus and that thing bleeds and it's normal. Why are we so afraid of such thing ? We claim to be intelligent, rightious, moraled and rational yet our own natural bodily function is embarassing ? Who's logic is this ? Karen ?! You need to remove your uterus if it bothers you that much. So no child of yours would suffer your stupidity.

elien-noyen avatar
Elaine N
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t understand why it is such a shameful thing to talk about. I had sex education in school when I was 10 years old. We learned everything. There was no difference in boys or girls, we all learned about pads, std’s, condoms etc.. a lot of people say it’s too young but that education doesn’t mean you start having sex, you are just prepared what your body is going through.

patriciaross avatar
tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but it is just to late in human evolution to be that ignorant.

bhowardmckinney avatar
Ben Moss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At this point everyone asking AITA is just attempting a virtue signal. Like does the OP really think she might be the asshole here? She’s just bitching about her crazy sister.

conniebohone avatar
Beans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, half the crap on AITA and r/relationships (and a bunch of other reddit subs like choosing beggars and stuff) is all fake clickbait. It's really sad.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That mother should be shot. First she doesn't do anything for her daughter, puts the responsibility on the aunts shoulders and then gives her bs! That poor daughter.

jflatt244 avatar
Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't know why you're being down voted her. Are the insecure men stalking you?

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it that a woman who has a child, let alone one old enough to have periods, thinks that tampons make you lose your virginity? Faith in humanity dropping...

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before even reading the first line I was like "let me guess, oppressive religious nut." Yup. My mother like many were against tampons just like they were against shaving your armpits. It's all a way to police girls with old wives tales and it's very dangerous. It's people clinging on to their control. Also the tampon/pad argument is ridiculous. Many girls use - can you believe it? BOTH. As needed. 13 is too old for the period talk. 13 injustice the average, many girls have it at 11 and 12 already

stellalehggs avatar
StellaLehggs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most definitely not the asshole. My mom wasn't religious but didn't explain much to me. She gave me a book on puberty for girls, and I learned most things through that and the internet. But turns out I was lucky, because some women I know grew up in religious households or their parents did and had NOTHING explained to them. Hell, when my friends in junior high started getting their periods, alot of them asked ME about what to do because their mom's wouldn't tell them, or they were too embarrassed to ask. It's seriously really f*****g damaging when you don't talk to your daughters about this. I just keep thinking about "Carrie" now.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had to calm down about this one, but here goes.... Pardon the yelling.....THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PREACH ABSTINENCE INSTEAD OF TEACHING HEALTH AND BASIC ANATOMY. As a med student, 17yo girl's mom flipped out that we were gonna "steal her baby's purity" in a standard pelvic; 17yo had "weird tummy feelings"; turned out someone got to the daughter waaaay before we did b/c mommy never told her how she could get pregnant, and now the daughter was gonna be a mommy. You can't make that sh*t up. girl honestly had no idea what intercourse was, and thought she only had a hole for urine and for poo, and her period came out of *those*.

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Religion is a poison and the minds of people who believe in this backwards backwoods shît are poisoned as well.

oki avatar
Oki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Knowledge is power. We need to learn so much, and shaming will put a stop to that. So, to remove period blood stains (or washing reusable pads): Soak overnight in COLD water, with a bit of laundry detergent in a basin. Pop into the washing machine for a regular cycle. *works best on cotton, and the sooner the better.

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marinamercouri avatar
Beatrice Multhaupt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this mother lives in the Middle Ages and has made herself irrelevant. How relevant do you think her story will be to your readers?

just_a_spooky_dude avatar
XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay- First of all: Virginity isn't even a real thing, yes there's a "first time" but the whole virginity thing is just a bunch of bullshit people made up so they could shame women, and second of all: A f*****g t a m p o n is not the same as having sex, what the actual f**k is wrong with this woman?

monakhadra avatar
Mona
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sick of these religious nuts being ashamed for being human beings. Don't have a daughter if you're not ever going to be prepared to talk to her about important things involving human body in life!

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, give the niece a menstrual cup (available at Target!) and watch her really freak out! I leaked when I used tampons. The girl needs both heavier pads and a visit to a dr for anemia and help with a heavy flow and cramps that come with it. Maybe some hormone pills, lol.

sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sis has no problem talking period stuff. She's graphic. But can't talk about sex to save her life. Double if I make a sex related joke or say anything about sex. I'm extremely candid. When my nephew needs the sex talk, apparently I'm in charge of that. I'm ok with it, because of my sisters squeemishness I'm afraid she'd massively botch it.

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Naturally this aunt should be stupid wealthy as naturally most mothers call her to explain puberty to their daughters.

elisa_joelle avatar
Efia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. The mother is ashamed of words/topics like vaginas, penisses or sex, but surely enjoyed these things while producing her kids.

donotreplytokjk avatar
Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the girl was having leaking at school, it's because she wasn't taking enough spares along and or wasn't changing them often enough, and I don't know if that was a problem with the daughter or the mother. Probably the latter, as the mother sounds like every possible kind of fool, she could even be someone who'd forbid her daughter to take anything "embarrassing" to school.

conniebohone avatar
Beans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes but sometimes periods (hah, no pun intended) at school are really long. We had one at 70 mins before lunch which was tricky for me because I could potentially leak during that and getting a pad to the bathroom (we werent allowed to take backpacks to the bathroom during class) or hiding a pad in my school uniform were tricky because I didnt want the others at school to know I had my period already. I basically had to palm a pad if I felt heavier/wetter than usual and try and get to the bathroom without anyone seeing it.

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mommyinpjs avatar
Heather Heslop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Religion doesn’t mean we can’t discuss the natural way of things. I’m very religious and my parents didn’t tell me squat. Figuring it out on my own was awful. Now I am very religious but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have open honest conversations about our bodies. Talking about periods and even sex does not make a dirty or inappropriate conversation.

eglbukauskait avatar
Eglė Bukauskaitė
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, institutions should be involved for child neglect... Poor girl is raising in a religious sect!!

bluepearl avatar
Blue Pearl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Notice how mommy dearest basically blamed the girl when told about the stained clothes and apparently is rummaging through her backpack.

shruti_1 avatar
Shruti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tampons are more natural material than pads. when I was teen I used cloths because I didn't know about tampons. Never pads.

kubikiri-houcho avatar
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you have penetrative sex with another persons genital ? No ? Then you're a virgin. congrats, means nothing.

lauramora6391 avatar
MrsC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart goes out to the young lady. My mother only told me that periods were shameful and that I was to discuss it with no one, even her. Used pads were to be wrapped up and hidden in the trash. I was lucky that she was willing to buy pads for me. I was so lucky to have an aunt to talk to. She kept me supplied with tampons. I could ask her anything!

morganharbridge avatar
Morgan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does this kid in the story not have friends, sex-ed in school or the internet?

damonrn avatar
Theoretical Empiricist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still wondering how the mother, given her reluctance to talk about anything "down there", could even bring herself to procreate.

gwenchapman avatar
RandomBeing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm honestly probably a bit too frank about my period (its only really weird I guess cuz im more open about it than others I know. Especially around guys). I don't really make any effort to conceal it that much. I just can't wrap my head around why it SHOULD be taboo (or at least any more taboo than talking about other body stuff). In general I don't often get uncomfortable when discussing body stuff unless others are uncomfortable. I don't see a practical reason for body stuff to be taboo.

bakerkaraj avatar
-alex_the_trans_demon-
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who has suffered with leakage during shark week, it's effing terrible, and making a girl feel like it's her fault makes you terrible. It's that simple.

deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once a year at my elementary school, the school nurse held a private screening of a movie about the female anatomy and menstruation. It was screened for all 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade girls, and their moms OR dads. There was a question and answer session afterward. This was mid to late 60's USA.

westwingpotus avatar
westwing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone this insanely ignorant should not be breeding…..

rhondaberaun avatar
Caiman 94920
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago in high school, my sister and her friend found me in the school library (worked there one period) to ask if I had anything for a 3rd friend who had just started her period. I had some tampons, the OB brand that didn't have an inserter, so i gave them one. A few minutes later they came back laughing so hard, the girl went into the bathroom stall to use the tampon and asked "where do I put it?" My sister's friend was hysterical, she had already had a couple of kids by 2 different baby daddies (at 16!). the 3rd friend was from a very conservative, sheltered family and still a virgin.....had no concept of her own anatomy

antonkider avatar
Anton Kider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You told her when she got her first period. ? Didn't she know before that ?

mittenkg avatar
FrancesCat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just gonna assume this took place in the good ole USA. Christians!

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