Mom Invites Principal To Go Shopping After Her Daughter Violates School’s Ridiculous Dress Code
School dress codes have been igniting debates between parents, students, and staff for decades, but never more so than in recent years. When Dr. Catherine Pearlman’s daughter was reprimanded at her school for wearing shorts that ‘didn’t come all the way down to her fingertips,’ she decided to write the principal a scathing letter that is now going gloriously viral.
Pearlman, a social worker originally from Long Island, New York, initially published her letter on NBC News’ TODAY Parenting Team community blog, and has already received over 400 upvotes, as well as thousands of likes and shares from other websites. Her daughter, 13 years old, was subjected to a practice adopted by most public schools – banning shorts that aren’t longer than a girl’s fingers. Can we talk about how problematic this is for a second?
As if it isn’t bad enough that girls are more likely to be penalized by the dress code than boys every time, they’re often made to feel responsible for its existence. Baring their shoulders, legs, and midriffs is viewed as a sexual distraction and provocation to male students and teachers, which basically teaches girls that their bodies are inherently sexual objects that must be covered. This mom challenged the system head first, and we just wish we could see the principal’s reaction. Read the entire letter below, and weigh in with your opinion at the end!
This 13-year-old girl was dress-coded by her school for wearing shorts that didn’t come down past her fingertips
Her mom, outraged, decided to pen a scathing open letter to the school principal over the incident
2 days in a row? Seriously? If you think this mama bear was done there, wait til you see what came next…
She decided the best way to address the issue was to write a letter:
That’s right – this beautiful young girl’s body is not a sexual object, no matter what she’s wearing
The well-spoken mom received an outpouring of support from others also fed up with antiquated dress codes
What do you think? Have you or your child ever tangled with the infamous school dress code? Tell us below!
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Share on FacebookFirst of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's b******t that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Load More Replies...The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Load More Replies...This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this r******d order.
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
Load More Replies...Oh god. This is like how in some countries women are forced to wear burkas because men "can't control themselves".
It is the logical consequence. Men can't control themselves, so we women have to cover up. And cover up and cover up and cover up, because - surprise - the lack of control shows up no matter what we wear. Burkas included. And on the other hand, there are (hereto) men who can keep their hands to themselves even when faced with female nudity. Geeee, I wonder if maybe something besides clothing might be responsible ...
Load More Replies...i think the mother is right. Except for the body not being a sexual object. For the 13yr old boys it very much is. Which off course is their problem and not the girl's.
The main problem here, is the attitude towards women and girls, their bodies, and boys' apparent inability to control themselves. This is an incredibly toxic attitude to take, especially towards children. CHILDREN! Instead of telling the girls, 'I'm an adult who sees this teenaged child as a sexual object," they SHOULD be telling the BOYS to RESPECT their female classmates, their boundaries and not to treat them as sexual objects. What a radical concept. Saying the female body is inherently a 'sexual object', is like saying that a five-year old girl shouldn't wear a bathing suit, because it might trigger some man. What in the actual hell. Twisted. Boys don't have 'uncontrollable urges'. Their hormones aren't effecting them any differently than they effect girls. Shocker! Girls get 'urges' too! *gasp!* Except that boys are taught, from a young age, that their wants and needs are more important than a girl's. They aren't taught any self-control.
Load More Replies...Were there not tiny little micro shorts given to high school boys by PE departments in the 1970s? Just google "1970s gym shorts" and images are abound. I dont see the big deal, it was ok in the 70s, why are we moving backwards. Boys will go berserk if girls show too much ankle if you make girls wear long skirts. Its hormones period, and humans put things on a pedestal that they dont normally see. Thats why rubies and diamonds ect are better than mica... What is rare is coveted. So if you make a little bit of leg "rare and naughty", of course the teenage boys will oblige. But if we say legs are just normal and everyday, then maybe we can move past this mess.
It's interesting how there is so much focus on what girls are wearing to school, but I have clear memories of boys gym classes playing shirts vs. skins... Girls can't show their shoulders/thighs/tummy, but boys can bear it all??
I think the first thing to needs addressed is that teenage boys need to be informed on how to control their hormone riddled pubescent bodies. If they are so uncontrollable that teachers and principles everywhere are scared they are going to maul a young girl because she shows her shoulders, maybe they should be separated (and yes I'm being sarcastic). I got told in middle school I wasn't allowed to wear skirts. I was 5'10, the skirt followed dress code but my legs were just too long. I checked before I left the house that morning. So let's start teaching children that our bodies are meant for other things besides sex.
Well, if there literally IS a kid like that, they probably SHOULD and WOULD be separated.
Load More Replies...at my school we have a really sexist uniform where all of the girls have to wear skirts... a few years ago they allowed girls to wear business pants. so i wore these tight-ish business pants to school and i got reprimanded for it and they told me that i can't wear them because the boys at school can't control themselves... why the hell should we get told not to wear something just because of boys.
Punishing the girls because boys can't be held responsible for being little pervs. Maybe we can educate the little shits to be more sensitive and get them over this archaic male dominance garbage. Boys have always been boys and girls are asking for it if they act improper, so much for being enlightened by 2020...
I work in the juniors department of a department store and the girls just had prom season. I had to help girls find dresses that didn't violate school code, and there's a HUGE discrepancy between what's marketed to teens and what their schools will allow. It makes for a lot of frustrated teens and parents.
I agree. If parents would stand up and refuse to buy overly sexualized clothing for their children, the market would eventually follow. Most of the problem is created by our overly-sexualized culture and the market follows along with what sells. Finding a pair of shorts with more than a 1 1/2 " inseam is very difficult these days. Many teen girls are concerned with the size and shape of their "booties" thanks to popular culture. It is sad and it is rampant. Look at the trend in wedding dresses. Emphasis is on descriptors that include, "hot , sexy, " and showing off the body's curves, meaning lots of skin, cleavage, and butt. These type of gowns are considered to be acceptable for even many church weddings. A bride is no longer to appear beautiful and modest. Many walk the aisle looking more like night club performers or prositutes. Our society has lost its way.
Load More Replies...Dress codes exist for a reason, instead of singling out students for wearing inappropiate clothing (yes, there are such things as inappropiate clothing for school and work) its better to make rules that apply to all, sure everyone have a different type of body, but if you go making exceptions, other students would find it unfair. Its ok asking the school to change their codes, but it would be easier if you get support from other parents, and ask for it in a proper way, instead of making a passive agresive letter so you can show of to your friends in facebook (personally the fingers length rule doesnt seem outrageous to me), also you can also change your kid to a school wich fits your ideals, or you can just suck it up, and teach your kid that not everything in life will be how you want it to be.
My daughters went to a school with the same policy. Hint: take out the hem of the shorts; add some material or lace or school colors to the bottom of the shorts. If you can't do that, find someone who can.. Instread of teaching your daughter the easiest way out, teach her to solve the problem. In the long run, better teaching tool for her.
Well great. I'm 12, and apparently I can't control myself. When I see someones KNEES, apparently I'm all over them. Wow. Some people are idiots. I completely disagree with the dress codes, kids should be able to wear what they want, and even more so with the "girls body being a sexual object.
When I was 13 I wore what I was told to wear and most of my wardrobe was hand-me-downs. Whether or not a garment was "fasionable" didn't come in to it. I didn't get to be picky about colours. If it was fit for purpose and didn't break the rules, I wore it. Like it or lump it.
There's a school that allows students to wear shorts??? For goodness' sake although I do agree that the young kid's bodies shouldn't be sexualized or whoever else, it's a dress code... of course you'd be warned for wearing clothes that are not allowed. My school does not allow shorts, skirts above the knee, pedals, we're also not allowed to wear spaghetti straps, if we do we should put blazers or something on it, heck they don't even allow ripped pants and this applies to both boys and girls.
That's slightly insane but I'm glad it applies to both girls and boys.
Load More Replies...In the UK it seems really odd a 13 year old could go to school in shorts at all (boy or girl). 2nd pic to me illustrates why no shorts.
They enforce a dress code rule for shorts but let cheerleaders wear skirts that barely cover their a*s cheeks....
that is so true, I have a uniform at my school which has to go to your knees but the teachers wear tights and see through tops.
Load More Replies...My son was put into ISS because his jacket was the wrong color. I looked up the school dress code and it specifically states that he's allowed to wear any jacket of his choice, including color. I've contacted the principal. So far, she's thoroughly ignoring me.
Call me whatever you wish, but there should be some dress standards for school. My daughter was sent home from school once for wearing shorts barely too short. She too is tall. I mentioned to her that morning her shorts looked a little short for school, but she could decide for herself. She was sent home that morning to put on something else. I wrote no letters to the school. She knew what the standards were. Has she been traumatized for life? It hardly seems so. Maybe she realized later that no one should expect to be above the rules. She is 43 now, a professional with two sons, who also know that standards apply to them, as well.
Thank you! I love this response. We're creating entitled little brats who think rules don't apply to them.
Load More Replies...tldr; "Sorry the rules shouldn't apply to my daughter because she refuses to wear any alternative options" - she'll adapt well to the real world later on
Why can't kids just be kids, let them worry about the adult world later.....and lots of workplaces do not have dress codes, we wear whatever the hell we want where I work
Load More Replies...While I agree that it's ridiculously hard to fit within dress code standards, I think she's complaining to the wrong people. Complain to outfitters and clothes stores. As long as we keep buying them, they'll keep providing them. I don't know why women suddenly have the need to show off there butts as they walk around in shorts, but as a woman myself, I would appreciate it if I could cover my own butt please and thank you. Whether or not men can control themselves or not is asides the point I think, short shorts is not a human right, why are we getting so worked up over this??
Can't wear pants, really? How is she ever going to get a job in this world, wear gym shorts every day of her life? How ridiculous
Went to an all girls school when I was in high school. Had a uniform to boot. Still got told off by the staff telling me my skirts were to short or I was not feminine enough in my uniform. Been the same height of 5ft 8.5inch since 7th grade (now 27). Haha my (m) teachers had a problem with alot of us and we were students who broke 5ft 7inch. Good job to this mom and I would love to see if this school will take up that shopping challenge.
At our school (in the UK), it's against the r rules for girls to have skirts above the knee! And yet, the boys are allowed to have shorts that go about 20cm above the knee! It's ridiculous how the headteacher thinks that the high skirts would "distract" the boys-- it's sexist, dare I say.
Is this a secondary school? I didn't know any allowed shorts...we couldn't even wear skirts at mine
Load More Replies...This is one of the many reasons I homeschool my children. They can learn in their underwear for all I care, as long as they are learning. I have no issue with dress codes except where they blame girls for "distracting" boys. F**k that sexist s**t. My oldest two attend an enrichment program that has a dress code (that not surprisingly, focuses on girl's clothing). I've explained it to my kids what it is, and that in some cases (like no sleeveless shirts?!) It's for stupid reasons and I give them the choice to either obey the rules or challenge the status quo, stand up for what they believe in and deal with the consequences. Why people want obedient little drones, I'll never understand.
My granddaughters are in grades 2 & 4 and the 2nd grader is frightened to go to school daily because she has been sent to the office numerous times this year because of her shorts not meeting her fingertips. She is 7. This is so ridiculous. She has stressed over this more than any studies or tests. I'm so mad!
that is so wrong. Why would a 7 year olds legs be sexual? she is just a kid. That is a disgusting thing to do to a child.
Load More Replies...Some students are always distracted, to a degree, by other students for varying reasons. It's not the girls' fault. If this were an acceptable attitude in the workplace, it would seem pretty bizarre: "Smith, why aren't you focusing on your work?" "Miss Wilson's breasts are distracting me." "Oh, I see, that's a perfectly good reason." Or, what if it were reversed? "Mr. Smith's hunky face is distracting! He has too good a smile. Tell Smith to stop smiling and put on a ski mask."
Let's start with a written dress code is a dress code. You know what the dress code is. Your only complaint is if they are singling you out for this violation, which I somehow doubt. School is not about being fashionable, it is about learning. Somehow, people have forgotten this and decided that it is more about making children happy. This is teaching your kid that they don't have to follow the rules they don't want to. If you don't like the dress code, pettition the school board to change or abolish it, like you are supposed to do. Outright ignoring it doesn't make you a hero or a rebel, it makes you lazy.
Okay, fair enough. But the reason behind the dress code is stupid. Saying that it will "distract the boys" . Um, girls have urges too, but if we were to say "sorry, his shoulders are really distracting me," they would not care. It's silly to think that both genders need to wear stricter clothing rather than just teaching all students how to properly handle urges. I think all schools should just have uniforms, it's so much easier, you usually have them at jobs top and it stops troubles like this. K bye.
Load More Replies...I'm in highschool and I swear, at my school they treat girls as objects. nothing shorter than your finger tips (this is a problem, I just turned 14 and I am very tall, almost 5'7, with long arms) and no shirts with a sleeve less than 3 fingers. shoulders and bra-straps must be so sexual, huh? So i can't avoid heatstroke because I'm an object to them.
It's that kind of exaggeration that loses your argument Nobody is going to get heat stroke from wearing 3 inches of fabric on their shoulders. Bras are underwear. That's "under"..
Load More Replies...Someone finally brings up volleyball uniforms, the school is fine with that. Those are much shorter then what the say you can wear
some school have those Nike Pros as acceptable sport uniform but normal uniform is past the knees, where is the logic in that!
Load More Replies...My daughter was told she couldn't wear a skirt that the teacher said was too short, it was a skort soooo. Then, I see what other girls wear, of certain families, who are not told anything. Lastly, at a band concert when the girls sit down and their skirts rise up so you can almost see their underwear, if they are wearing any-come on!!! So, why is it OK for some girls, OK in some settings but not others? I have to admit, I don't think I have seen a boy wear really short shorts to school but, what would happen if they did? What would happen if a boy wore a speedo when swimming? That would be interesting.
No dress codes in my country. They tried with uniforms, but oh boy, the backlash from parents and kids alike was quite something. For me, a dress code for school sounds ridiculous. This implies that everyone is going to classes dressed with less material than the highway chicks and you really, really have a need to impose more clothes on them. Which sounds pretty impossible because you know... kids(well, they're certainly not full-fledged adults legally)? Even if they had shorts and tops.. um summer? kids? very hot outside? What kind of a sick mind can you have to look at a high schooler in shorts (and by shorts i don't mean the type that barely cover half your butt, but regular ones) and think that they're a sexual thing or other b******t? It's seriously disturbing to look at the situation like this. Worse than the dress codes for prom or age limit that you guys have...
Heck I'm short and never could find shorts that met that requirement! They didn't even have bermudas available when I was in school & living in a southern state, pants are not an option!!
Kid's got a lot of demands on what she won't wear. When you sign your kid up for school, you make an agreement to abide by that dress code, whether you agree or not. You are not mandated to attend public school. If mom has a problem with the code, feel free to homeschool her since she doesn't see a need for a dress code. Kid's not the only tall lanky girl to attend the school I'm sure. It's cool if a kid has a personal style. But if that style interferes with abiding by society's rules, then it's time to maybe suck it up & learn to deal with rules like the grownups do, & put on something you might not like in order to follow said rules.
This "exceptionally well-spoken" author wrote "shorts and skirts must NOT extend to the fingertips". So assuming that was an error, she must find clothing that is longer than the fingertips. But her daughter refuses to wear dresses or pants. The school is not responsible for her daughters idiosyncrasies. It's not their problem that her daughter will only wear particular colors and styles. That should not have been included in the letter. That said, her daughter looks perfectly fine. These rules should keep clothing that sexualizes girls out of schools for the girls to have a school experience without that added onus. The reaction of boys (I saw NOWHERE that teachers were mentioned...nice reporting) should not be a consideration. Anyone who has survived Middle School will tell you that some boys will always find a way to sexualize girls, even if they wear potato sacks.
My niece was sent home to change due to her Joe's Crab Shack shirt that said "BITE ME" because that might give the boys ideas.... My son was made to turn his shirt inside out because it was a Halloween shirt. Orange with plain black text (no pictures of anything) that said "Treats, the uglier you are the more you get" because it was offensive to a teacher.
If the girls in schools around here had that much on at school I would be shocked.. It is the opposite here be it they do not have any dress codes anymore at all or they do not enforce them I don't know. These girls are in school with booty shorts and yoga shorts that do not even cover fully along with belly shirt tank tops... Stuff that you would usually only see appropriate for the gym or beach. Absolutely nothing wrong with this girls attire!
This is ridiculous but not in the way you think. The school is helping to protect your daughter from unwanted lures and worse. Your daughter's but cheeks are showing in the picture that you posted. Why is your 13 year old posing like that, so inappropriately why sitting on your lap? Instead of thanking the school, you are criticizing them.... way to go Mom!
This woman is not correct in her attitude or her behavior to the school. Those rules are there for a reason. They apply to both boys and girls. (Oh how I wish uniforms were still in fashion!) The mother is exhibiting the "I'm a special snowflake so you better treat me right" behavior most often noticed in the left. Her daughter did not follow the rules, even though she signed a piece of paper saying that she would. No excuse. BTW, if you are posting an article about appropriate attire, you shouldn't show a picture of the girl in shorts that expose her cheeks.
I had this problem years ago with my daughter...she's 5' 9" skirts and shorts hit her higher than a shorter girl...she got in trouble twice for wearing things they deemed too short, my husband was the one who actually went to the principals office for a mtg...let's just say the principle was the one speechless after he was done...I'm so tired of the school system picking on kids for the dumbest things, how bout they address bullying before a child kills themselves or how bout the girls who wear pajamas or tops that show way more cleavage than even a 30 year old should, come on!
Try educating boys that it is THEIR responsibility to control themselves and not behave like hormonal animals. Females shouldn't be punished because people don't care about teaching their sons respect and responsibility.
You are surely joking.No-one could;d be this stupid....
Load More Replies...Had 2 students wear same skirt, size and everything. One went nearly to girls knees other was about mid thigh and past her fingertips.
If I wore shorts that just went past my fingertips I would be arrested. I have super short arms and a long torso.
Sad how schools are determined to reinforce the opinion that boys are too weak (emotionally? mentally? what?) to control themselves and that since girl's bodies are so "distracting" it is therefore up to the girl to hide her body away (in shame? fear? what?) so that the poor, pitiful, weak, precious boys aren't "distracted". Great message to send to girls and young women, right? Way to go, schools. So, to be sure I have this straight: American girls should hide their bodies because boys aren't expected to control their own selves. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What country is this again?
Yeah, pubescent boys and girls have "urges". SHOCKER! So? This doesn't mean people should be dressing strictly, it just means our sex and puberty education needs to be better, teaching both genders how to deal with these "urges" in a good manner and also teach the genders to respect each other. Neither women nor men are on me ts to be ogled at and harassed. Masturbation exists for a reason and it shouldn't be seen as some thing bad, but rather something good. Otherwise people might not be able to control their "urges" and, not knowing how to properly deal with the, might rape someone or at least sexually harass them. JUST ALL GENDERS RESPECT EACH OTHER GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME ITS NOT THAT DIDFICULT!
I'm so jealous! 5'7 and only 13 years old. I'm 35 and stuck at 5'4. Good on this mom!!
Furthermore, even if you covered all students, regardless of gender, head to toe, it wouldn't change anything. They're at an age where they start to "like" people. Rather than try to prevent any distraction from happening in the first place, which you can't, because it's a natural process, it would work better in my opinion to find ways to redirect the focus back to the task at hand. This isn't always an easy thing, because there's always going to be some students that just don't want to, but that's different for each individual, and not the fault of the class as a whole.
I like that everyone has an excuse to why the rules shouldn't apply to them
Instead of telling our daughters they cant show their shoulders or their thighs because its a distraction, how bout you teach those boys how to control themselves so they dont grow up to be rapists blaming the girl for wearing a dress or showing their legs. That seems to be the problem... them being distracted right?
NO, the problem is the lefty nutcase teaching staff fear-mongering,right?
Load More Replies...My shook won't even give warnings, they give you ISS ( in school suspension) until your parents can get you "suitable clothes"
yes. although it was a dress code for shoes. this was a catholic high school and they decided to ease up on formal shoes and let the students wear runners as long as they were all black. my son had black runners and at base of shoes there was a 4 inch pencil thin red line . He got uniform infractions for 4 days And on fifth day i called the school and principle said he could find all black shoes... " i told him to go ahead and go look for shoes ...one thing I didn't mention was our son wears size 16... did he think that we hadn't looked or shoes for him ever before... just after lunch he called and said son could wear his shoes ... big surprise
Omg,just invite some Czech school and then you will see what teen girls wear..you will be shocked
I would love to see the boys wearing shorts at this school to see if the same rule applies. This was never an issue, sundresses, never an issue until other cultures made it one.In Canada the 1st sunny day would bring out sundresses now no bare shoulders because it offends and deemed disrespectful ??? These are children!!!Don't believe me? just check out all the rules in our school now in Toronto and other areas. Teach the children don't punish a normal, everyday occurrence.
I'm with suspender mom. Let's not have a double standard by any means.
I'm with suspender mom for the boys. Let's not have a double standard by any means.
Kid's got a long list of demands of things she won't wear. It's cool if a kid has a personal sense of style. It's not cool if nothing she has can confirm to a dress code for school. Stop letting your kid dictate to you what she will & won't wear to follow rules. Who is the parent? Mom, if you can't find anything for your kid to wear that conforms to a dress code that everyone else seems to be able to follow, feel free to home school since you don't see a need for your own dress code. Your kid isn't the only kid who is tall & lanky at that school, I'm sure.
Well Climate change doesn’t mean that it is going to be warmer all the time. And yes being able to learn in comfort does make sense. Online courses seem to offer that as well… I have no problem with dress code as long as it doesn’t break any laws. There are larger problems in the educational system… like students not being allowed to fail, etc. I don’t care what you are wearing as long as you learn the material. https://fitfootpro.com/best-shoes-for-male-teachers/
Dressing modestly vs Controlling hormones - which one is easy? Remember: Hormones r responsible for growth, gender and emotions. Controlling hormones will have ramifications. I somehow feel- human race is evolving to become gay and then that's how we'll go extinct. Because of Carcinogens, detergents, preservatives...sperm count is declining.
Shorts revealing butt cheeks, Yoga pants cameltoe and Butt cracks have become very common. The current trend is just taking it too far. At a picnic a 25yr old was wearing a mini n jumping around...revealing her underpants. My 4 yr old son was giggling and saying 'ewww'. Shall we send my 4yr old son to male hormone control counselling?? Just like ur revealing clothes, male hormones in a young child can't be controlled. Lighten up. We responsible adults spend a lot of energy n time, honing our mind and yet sometimes feel guilty of being distracted. Enough of ur feminism/femdom.
Ok, I could understand some clothes. Like if she wore low cut shirts that show clevage, or shorts that look like underwear. Boys can be educated, but as a teenager, their hormones are wracked and usually don't care much. But the stories I have seen on here regarding this, it's ridiculous. They go a bit overboard on the clothes.
I think that anyone who defends dress codes is a sexual deviant and the reason that boys in this generation are not learning to respect the girls. We had a lot less on in the 70s and simply didn't have these problems. Boys were taught to respect girls, knees and all. How silly. Knees aren't even sexy, it's so stupid.
Our school system passed a similar code a few years ago. We had to go out and buy new "basketball shorts" for our daughter for PE because the gym uniform, that we had bought the previous year from the school mind you, did not pass the new dress code. Insane.
This is rediculous and I hope it's not even true!If you don't like the schools rules, go to a different school. They may not be your rules, but you don't get to make the rules at this school. You are teaching your daughter that she doesn't have to follow the rules!
Look, dress codes EXIST. It's impossible to find shorts the right length that r fashionable? Then the fashion ur slaving to is too short.
The school's reaction is what you would expect from some very strict Islamic country: the woman's (or girl's) body is an object of a temptation to the male, so you are required to cover everything that can be covered - implicitly: because it's your fault that males are tempted; nobody would dream of teaching the men to behave and not to be perpetually in rut! I am Belgian, thus from western Europe, and as I spent one year in the US as an exchange student, I was very surprised the first time I turned out for (all-girls) gym class, dressed in yoga pants that were my Belgian school's regular uniform. Apparently, it was so indecent that I spent the year wearing some slacks over it. Bigotry and puritanism and hypocrisy took a whole different sense; at the time, we in Europe used to think that Americans were way ahead of us in terms of women's lib etc, and here I was with all my classmates dressed in uniforms that hadn't been worn in Europe since the end of WWII!
We've been dress coded at church! Leggings are a big no no because heaven forbid someone see her outline! Never mind that at least she is at church! My girl is short and small and so the shorts they sell are short! So because of the dress code, I am sure that when she is old enough she will not go to church because they have embarrassed her. So sad that Jesus said "Suffer the children to come unto me..." and we ridicule them when they come!
I understand boys and their hormones at that age but how about teaching the boys that they need to learn to keep it in check rather making it the girls' problem. I understand not wearing shorts where your butt is hanging out of it and not being able to wear the yoga pants is ridiculous. When my daughter was in middle school there were the same codes, one day she was walking out of the restroom when a boy walked passed her, grabbed her breast and said "Nice tits". She had a long sleeve sweatshirt on. When I reported it to the principle all she said was "well, you know boys and their hormones, I had a talk with him, I don't think he'll do it again". We need to stop making it about what the girls wear and more about teaching the boys to keep their hands to themselves.
What on this earth makes you think they aren't?Your blatant sexism is sickening.
Load More Replies...I love how this automatically turns into a war between boys and girls...It's the system you're fighting, it's the government and school board who are pushing for kids to be turned into robots...boys will look at girls just as girls look at boys, just perhaps more discreetly...that's what school is about; mingling, learning about each other and most importantly yourself...You say it's ridiculous that the dress code is so strict but you'd rather fight each other than the powers that be...why start a fight with the government with their guns, bombs and prisons when you can start a fight with kids for what they wear and how they act? You're all robots to society, waking up at 9am to work well into the night every day until you die for a fake currency you never got to spend because you worked until you couldn't move any more. Nobody has the balls to say "f**k paying taxes, f**k working to afford to eat, f**k using the word 'sir' because you think you're superior to me",
In 1957 all the senior girls had a "wear your Dad's white dress shirt " day. They were sent home . 60 years later kids are still being sent home for ridiculous reasons.
My daughter has been talked to about it and this momma bear has had to file a police report for a male gym teacher touching her a female teacher grabbing her arm during an anxiety attach. That doesn't even include the way some of the teachers dress from 4K all the way to High School
All clothes for girls make them look like sex objects. My 4 year old daughter is tall and skinny and I can not find her shorts to cover her. I have to buy her leggings. It realy sucks there are not more appropriate clothing options.
At character day at my high school, almost fifty girls got dress coded for wearing low-cut tops/dresses and leggings. Meanwhile, a large group of boys, at least twenty, came dressed as 80s rockers w/ open denim jackets and no shirts underneath and short shorts... and they got away with it. The sexist stereotyping of girls as opposed to guys is absolutely ridiculous and needs to stop.
I'm glad I had a school uniform. Saved that problem but then I feel he school did not do enough to enforce it. I don't see why those who choose to abide by it should then see others get away with flouting it. Sorry can't agree with this. It's probably not impossible to find something that is with in the dress code. I get sick and tired of seeing young girls dressed as older girls
I am a mom of 4 wonderful boys, the oldest is 16. My sons are perfectly capable of being around girls wearing short-shorts, spaghetti strap tanks or even swim suits without reacting. A lot has to do with how they are brought up; to be respectful. My boys have learned respect for their elders, as well as for the females they interact with.
In my humble opinion, I believe in uniforms. I believe both boys and girls should wear pants covering their knees, and no more of two fingers of skin should show on the shoulder. I would also include shoes whitin certain standards. When in highschool I got tired of watching 13yo buttcheeks walking upstairs... Dress code was up to each teacher, not the school. I felt very outraged because of the way this girls were treated by males in general. Now that I am a mom of three girls, I apply my own moral standards to their Dress code thinking about comfortability of the girl: it's not comfortable being touched by 50yo males, nor harrased about your bra side. Uniformity helps society to center their minds in upper thoughts. Also, I find infuriating the believe that males cant control themselves, as if they were brainless and beasts: some of them are, but just because they feel entitled to impose their will over other people. P.S.: if it was up to me, there would be a hairstyle code too.
First . It's the mother and others here who are assuming why there is a dress code. If she wanted to wear a thong to school would it be okay? Dress codes were established to curb the outlandish cloths some kids wear . NOT just the girls but boys too. Please get realistic , if a girl dresses provocatively at school she will be a distraction . Yes I know we shouldn't objectify people but we do and you all know it. The thing this woman is doing imo is she's teaching the daughter that she's above all the rules . There are rules we all follow through life . The mother might want to think how it would look if she wore those shorts to work. If she works in a hospital she cannot wear whatever she wants to wear. With all that's going on in the world you'd think she would just get some shorts that are too long and have them fitted .
If this school had uniforms there would be no problem. Trying to be a modern parent and taking your spoiled brat school clothes shopping must be trying, even to these overly educated parents that think being assertive is a form of abuse. But they made their beds and now they can lie in them along with school officials that are as ignorant as they are blind.
Well as a high school student i got dress code for wearing a button up shirt and tie at countryside high school Fl i thought this was messed up for looking nice but this is what schools do nowadays.
No tank tops? Really? Was I a student in one of these schools nobody would ever complain about my shorts since I used to wear long pants the whole year. But tank tops? I don't like T-shirts, they're usually too close to my neck. If it's too hot, I'll put up a tank top, no doubt about it. And how can somebody say yoga pants are too provocative? Hearing from my elementary school teachers that pretty much anything above the knees was a distraction for the boys was enough for me - honestly, I'm 30 and I still don't feel confident enough to wear miniskirts and minidresses.
Why the hell are the boys oggling girls in the first place? We're not sex toys. They need to focus on their school work and not be turned around staring at the girl. Thats why all obys schools and all girl schools exist sexiest as they may be. The mom had EVERY right to do what she did.
why don't they just use the inseam, that's what my school does, so its fair.
This whole thing is so obnoxious, I can't believe this has to be explained to ANYONE. 1) As a middle school teacher, I can tell you, this is not BODY SHAMING 2) This is not about blaming girls for boys behavior 3) This mother has allowed her child to call the shots in their home and seems to be almost afraid of parenting her child- this is the #1 problem in our culture today 4) School is a place of LEARNING, not a place to show off how fashionable your child may be. Rape culture is a very real thing. It's not ok for boys to learn that objectifying females is ever OK. They help noticing, but it's YOUR JOB as parents to teach boys this. I am happy to enforce that, but do your damn jobs 5) boys absolutely get dress coded as well. Sagging pants, deep cut muscle shirts, short running shorts- absolutely not AT SCHOOL 6) Children are hitting puberty in middle school- can anyone "control" the reactions boys might have- and if we try, aren't we then shaming boys for going through puberty?
My daughter was in school in the 1980s. We live on an island and the kids got the first ferry on a Monday morning , returning on a Friday evening for the weekend. They boarded in the school hostel. I sent daughter off each Monday complete with school uniform, blazer etc. along with her friends However, by the time these little angels had arrived on the mainland , they were dressed in jeans, tee shirts and trainers, with the hated uniforms stuffed in their cases. I never heard a cheep from the school . Nowadays I note that all the children at that school are immaculately dressed in uniform. Maybe the 1980s were more permissive . ( just commenting) Daughter ? She's an English teacher ......
If a school allows shorts, they have a right to set a standard, bit it has to be practical and apply across the board. Inseam length would be more rational that using comparison to an unrelated body part. OTOH, why not teach children school isn't recreation and, except for during sports, they should dress in a reasonably businesslike manner? Saying it's sick to see "innocent" children as sexual is a cop out. Girls don't dress in booty shorts, cleavage baring tops and very tight clothes because of the weather. They do it to look "sexy" and school isn't the place to express your sexuality.. Children should be taught what's appropriate for given times and places. It's no different than adults not being allowed to wear clubwear to work.
,ale sure the boys where a bag over they're head so they don't distract the girls with their good looks. Kids are their to be educated .... if they're showing up to school teach them.
I think dress codes help teach kids about how dressing well is important. It is a building block for their future - jobs and such.
And not one code can make everyone happy. I think the mom is being a bit whiny about it. Get over it... the girl can wear a skirt. Big deal!
Load More Replies...People are so mad their kids aren't allowed to have their childrens vaginas hanging out at school.. I'd say I don't care what my daughter wants to wear..sorry.. also we're in the day and age of leggings for pants.. put them under the shorts and stop bitching..
In the 50s I nearly got suspended for having spray in colour in my hair....the suspension was not going to be for having it in my hair, it was because I wouldn't say who had the spray canister....the bully vice P knew my Dad and used it against me by threatening me with what my Dad would say....
My athlete daughter is self-conscious enough about her slight frame. She prefers basketball shorts or sweats, so I'd never dream of her being called to the principal's office for dress code violation, but she was. She was mortified. In tears. She is a straight A, total rule follower type, so it was genuinely traumatic for her. Her soccer coach required the girls to dress up for school on game days. She wore a dress (a monumental event in and of itself). It was sleeveless, so she wore a jean jacket, exposing her shoulders was a mortal sin in dress code land. The skirt of her dress was as modest as can be found in teen clothing, not extremely short by any stretch of the imagination. But being who she is, she put shorts on under it. She was sent to the principal's office as the length did not come to the fingertips, missed by an inch. I was required to bring her "appropriate" clothes before she could return to class. Took 2 yrs to get her in a dress again. Ridiculous!
Just follow the damn rules. By going to the school, you agreed to follow them. If you don't like the rules EVERYBODY ELSE follows, leave.
What a mommy! It's so *$#$% easy for institutions of all kinds to formulate rules without practical reasoning ... or in some cases 'flexibility', especially since rigidity doesn't work well with humans!
Shame on the school administration. They better teach boys how to behave themselves, instead of throw this ridiculous dress code to girls.
when i went to school in the 60's girls had to wear skirts down to the top of their knees, flats and nylons and a blouse that had no deep cleavage. the boys? they had to wear suit and ties and this is in high school. the lesson here was that they were preparing us for going out in the working world when we graduated. a dress code that should have stayed. believe me we hated it but it did teach you something. no jeans no long pants etc. thats a little archaic. sometimes the boys would deliberately no wear their ties or leave them in their lockers just so the vice principle could put crepe paper bow ties on them then he would hold their hands and parade them around school. those guys loved it. i know my own brother was one of them lol. simply put i think schools need to have dress codes.
At our middle and high school, we just need to have 5-inch inseams. The fingertip rule is f*****g stupid
Mind you this happened over ten yrs ago, but when my daughter was in 5 grade she was told she could not wear certain tops anymore because when she raised her hand her belly button would show , jeez clothes shrink in the dryer hello! My solution was an easy one, never throw our clothes in the dryer, I hang them to dry, clothes do. It so now our clothes last longer and never had an issue again.
When I was in high school extremely small high school most classes where 30-50 kids. We had the same dress code but they were never enforced on the girls but more on the guys because being the vast majority of us guys were farmers or country boys we had sleeveless shirts or muscle shirts. The school really frowned upon the sagging pants fashion. We were told from the beginning of the school year any boys caught wearing sagging pants will have the choice suspenders or baler twine to use as a belt.
My Granddaughter is in 5-K,She is already 4 ft 3 in .She tells me no tank tops Nenny, I buy her ex-small women's workout shorts so they almost touch her knees. I have very short arms and legs, my finger tips barely cover my butt.
everytime I see this kind of things I'm glad I live where I live, we had rules too but morale ones,like no short skirts the size of your palm, same with shorks, no big cleveage to show boobs no swimswuit or flippers and no swim shorts for boys, that's it, no one would come to mesuare us when we entered school or detention if we ,one day come with a very short skirt, they just told us not to come again. ofc if you didn't listen then the teacher in charge with the class, at the class metting with the parents will tell them how you behave. That's it
Yes. When I was in the 9th grade I was made to kneel on a table to see if my skirt touched the table. It didn't!
In my school we were not alowed to wear shorts at all.I had a colleague that was sent home because the color of the jeans was red.
I dread this I have a fiveyear old that is as tall as some o and 10 year olds. Its already hard to find cloths that fit her the way that I like with out being to short. Honestly it's not our faults as parents at all its the company's making the cloths. There getting skimper each year.
I would've liked someone to have done this for us when I was in school. I had similar issues with the dress code and I'm built the exact opposite as this young woman, small with a short torso and long legs. Reminds me of being sixteen years old and having the witch lunch aide mortifying me in front of the entire cafeteria by telling me shorts were too short and were riding up when I sat down and "everyone could see everything". I was horrified.
I really wish someone had stood up to the dress code when I was in school. We had restrictions just like this, and I myself had many issues following it, and I am built the exact opposite of this young woman, small with a short torso and longer legs. No fashionable shorts are fingertip length. The worst, most humiliating moment that comes to mind was when I was sixteen. In the cafeteria, in front of the entire lunch period, one of the aides told me quite loudly that my shorts were too short and rode up on my thighs when I sat down; everyone could "see everything". I was mortified.
"girls are more likely to be penalized by the dress code than boys every time, they’re often made to feel responsible for its existence."............Spare me the drama! It's called "boys" policing each other. Short-shorts, sleeveless shirts, mid-drift shirts, skin tight pants, etc., the boys would be abused by other boys at schools. Face it, short-shorts on girls is accepted.
what I think is its appalling that they have that rule for shorts yet I see some girls going to school in almost nothing at all! how in the hell are they going to tell a poor 13yr old that she has to change because her shorts are to short to them yet a 17yr old can walk around in a mini skirt with her twat and a*s hanging out ?
I agree my daughter has graduated now but we went through from middle school to high school. She would wear shorts or a skirt a few time have no problem then there was always that one teacher sending her to the office and she refused to wear other peoples clothes so i would get the call to bring her something,so i have to drop what i'm doing to bring her something and she is sitting there missing class so i guess her wardrobe was more important than her being in class. she is not a tall girl 5'4 but she is all legs and its impossible to find shorts that long that aren't boy shorts which we all know a young girl doesn't want to wear. I think instead of making our girls feel like sex objects if boys are going to make crude and rude sexual remarks they should be reprimanded for it then maybe we wont have so many damn sexual predators when they grow into men or womanizers.
How about forcing parents to teach their sons to be gentlemen, and treat girls like HUMAN BEINGS. I guess we should also teach our daughters that if they're sexually assaulted, chances are their clothes were too short/small/tight? Really, society needs to get its head out of it's collective a*s and start expecting boys to behave as civilized human beings.
At my current school you're not allowed to wear shorts at all, so during the spring all the girls wear skirts. But it's still impossible to
When will educators enter the 21st century? Males are not animals that can not control their sexual urges. Do you have a dress code for them. The female body encased a female mind, heart and self image. The pictures shown seem to me that the attire is appropriate, if you are going to allow students to wear shorts. Is the female leg a distraction? Maybe the male leg is a distraction for a female. Are you worried about that? I do totally agree not allowing midrif and cleavage revealing shirts for both males and females. I believe that all children should dress appropriate for school - not for tennis, or sunbathing or etc. Help our girls and boys respect themselves which includes, Parents, helping them buy clothes appropriate for their age. And then to wear them to school. This young lady is the victim of oversexed educators stuck in the 19th century.
I have had many run inside with my daughters high school I don't think the code here in Knoxville is all that harsh. The way it is enforced on the other hand is horrendous. Male students get away with wearing what they want how ever they want. While females are coded even when they are in code because they are a distraction to the male students and staff.
I don't really care how someone else's daughter wants to dress (just glad I don't have one) but I'm tired of women trying to act like men/boys are seriously affected by how women's bodies are presented based on attire. I remember being a teenager and it was like being on fire... like a volcano of sexual energy with nowhere to put it. And really I didn't notice that hormonal drive calm down until I hit my 30s and had been married for over 10 years. To be clear, my libido is still there but it's more like an "I'll just eat when I get home" type of appetite versus the chicken pox like fiery itch of adolescent sexuality. Even my son (13) has complained about girls wearing yoga pants because it is distracting. So yeah, girls/women can dress however they want and men/boys have to learn how to manage their feelings, but stop acting like you're dressing in a self-expression vacuum. You're not.
I think this mom is pushing it and just being whiny. What is she teaching her daughter? That if you make a big fuss then you can become famous and get your way? First, your daughter's finger are not longer than any other girls. Second, who cares what your daughter doesn't like to wear. I don't "like" wearing business clothes to work, but you wear what you have to. You follow the rules because that's life. We have to do things we don't like to do. Get over it! You're not special, and neither is your daughter.
Take her shopping, and see if you can find anything that meets the dress code requirements, then!
Load More Replies...Additionally, what is the reason your girls want to wear as little as possible at school? Don't say because it's hot. I agree that the finger tip rule is dated. But look at the inseam. Why does any girl need to wear 3 inch or shorter inseams to school? Give me a break. And when your daughter whines that those shorts that actually cover her a*s aren't "cute enough", remind her that she is 12, 13, 14 years old, and is still a child. Who is she trying to be cute for, and where are you as parents, building her self-esteem up about who SHE IS, rather than how cute she looks? Don't be an absent parent, then show up just to ridicule the public school employees who you apparently expect to teach your child everything you refuse to, and then be the "bad guy" when you can't be.
spoiled brat. there are rules to follow. if you get to work in an office when you're done with school will you make your mom write a letter to your principal explaining how you don't feel like dressing properly for work?
Lemmesee. Y'all want the boys to control their "raging hormones" rather than deprive the girls the self-expression of showing off their a*s, right ? Are you the same people who text while driving, apply makeup, chit chat face-to-face with back seat passengers and drive with your knees so you have both hands free for more important things ? Just like the whole idea of driving is DRIVING, the whole idea of school is EDUCATION. School minus distractions = education, pure and simple. School is no more the time and place for socializing and titillation than driving is for rubbernecking at someone else' accident. You want fairness ? Uniforms, the blouseier, the better. Bare your T&A after school, dummies.
Don't you guys that there are hundreds of sick bastards out there? I am a mom of a 3.5 year old little girl, and I am sure these rules are to protect the girls. Of course, you can still stick to your ideas but it is for your own good.
The people that force women to cover up head to toe use the same kinds of reasoning. It for their own good, of course...
Load More Replies...women cant stop women from objectifying themselves so they blame men
When I was in highschool I was sent home a couple times for dress code. Once for wearing leggings under a jean mini skirt with a long sweater. The principal first asked me if I could just take the skirt off and wear just the shirt with it and I was like uhh you want me to wear just leggings? She told me to put my giant lab coat on from the nursing program I was dually enrolled in which went down to my knees and made me wait til lunch and then sent me home to change and I missed eating. So the second time when she sent me home to walk in the rain with her umbrella because I had holes in my jeans I just stayed home the rest of the hour and watched tv and smoked a couple bowls and went back for last hour falling asleep to history movies lmao screw that. Dress code really did me good.
It isn't dress codes, per se, that are antiquated so much as it is the attitudes of those who propose and enforce them. The notions behind their rationales are medieval.
I think the rules is to protect the girls not to degrade them. Human supose to dress humanly, not tarzanly.
Well, this particular dress code is degrading towards that girl. Telling a girl that her clothes are sexually distracting towards the boys is very degrading. How about teach the boys to respect women and that girls bodies are not sex objects?
Load More Replies...She is at school not on a catwalk, her parents know what the uniform is . So why the hell don't they just put her in the correct uniform.! If the other kids parents can get shorts the right length ( I sure she is no taller than most of her peers) then why can't she. If it's that bad buy a pair of bermuda shorts and cut them to the right length. One more parent trying to change school rules to suit themselves.
The problem is that schools are blaming girls for the perverted behaviour of boys. Dress codes imply that boys cannot control themselves from assaulting girls and that they do not need to control themselves. This idea is toxic, especially when taught to children. This is how America continues to oppress and sexualize women.
Load More Replies...Omg simple solution: wear pants! And why did you think the second day would make the shorts acceptable? Mom sounds like she needs a healthy dose of reality and another look at those rules.
If you read the mothers letter, the daughter cannot wear pants.
Load More Replies...The rules are the rules. This woman is an idiot. Talking about not being able to find anything "remotely fashionable" that fits with the school standards. It's not supposed to be fashionable. It's about wearing appropriate clothes that fit and skin tight yoga pants don't come under that category! Why does every mother think her daughter should be any different? It's infuriating.
Well, the rules are the ones who oppress women and make them feel guilty for being born female.
Load More Replies...I think it's gross for these girls to all be wearing shorts that could be mistaken for underwear. And we wonder why there are pedophiles.
And this is what we call 'victim-blaming', ladies and gentlemen! Asking boys and men to control themselves and treat girls and women like human beings, not sex objects, is NOT too much to ask of them. ALL children should be taught at a young age to respect one another, regardless of gender, and taught about consent. Boy doesn't want girl to hug him. That's consent. Girl doesn't want Boy to kiss her! That's consent. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Are you seriously saying that CHILDREN shouldn't wear shorts and bathing suits in summertime, because it might trigger somebody? 'Yes, the children are responsible for getting themselves attacked! It's not the men's fault!' Do you even hear yourself?
Load More Replies...Just highlights the benefits of having a school uniform - everyone is dressed the same and they're right up to code!
I upvoted you just so I could respond to this, as your comment was hidden. I;m sorry but I go to middle school right now, and the only people that have said they are "offended" by clothes like that have been teachers. In my opinion, if an adult can't handle seeing a girls bra straps or thighs, they need to grow up. It's 2017. I'm tired of seeing "it's offensive" or "it distracts boys". I'll have you know that out of the students at my school, not one of them gets distracted, because our school emphasizes learning over how long your shorts are.
Load More Replies...I honestly don't know if any parent that doesn't wish for uniforms. My daughter's school has them and people tell me they wish their school did, too. Not for "dress code" reasons, but because it makes life do much easier. For families with limited income, it's so helpful. If you only have one uniform, nobody will know. Plus uniforms can be donated and the school has a sale (2-3 dollars per item) which benefits student activities. Win-Win.
Load More Replies...First of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's b******t that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Load More Replies...The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Load More Replies...This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this r******d order.
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
Load More Replies...Oh god. This is like how in some countries women are forced to wear burkas because men "can't control themselves".
It is the logical consequence. Men can't control themselves, so we women have to cover up. And cover up and cover up and cover up, because - surprise - the lack of control shows up no matter what we wear. Burkas included. And on the other hand, there are (hereto) men who can keep their hands to themselves even when faced with female nudity. Geeee, I wonder if maybe something besides clothing might be responsible ...
Load More Replies...i think the mother is right. Except for the body not being a sexual object. For the 13yr old boys it very much is. Which off course is their problem and not the girl's.
The main problem here, is the attitude towards women and girls, their bodies, and boys' apparent inability to control themselves. This is an incredibly toxic attitude to take, especially towards children. CHILDREN! Instead of telling the girls, 'I'm an adult who sees this teenaged child as a sexual object," they SHOULD be telling the BOYS to RESPECT their female classmates, their boundaries and not to treat them as sexual objects. What a radical concept. Saying the female body is inherently a 'sexual object', is like saying that a five-year old girl shouldn't wear a bathing suit, because it might trigger some man. What in the actual hell. Twisted. Boys don't have 'uncontrollable urges'. Their hormones aren't effecting them any differently than they effect girls. Shocker! Girls get 'urges' too! *gasp!* Except that boys are taught, from a young age, that their wants and needs are more important than a girl's. They aren't taught any self-control.
Load More Replies...Were there not tiny little micro shorts given to high school boys by PE departments in the 1970s? Just google "1970s gym shorts" and images are abound. I dont see the big deal, it was ok in the 70s, why are we moving backwards. Boys will go berserk if girls show too much ankle if you make girls wear long skirts. Its hormones period, and humans put things on a pedestal that they dont normally see. Thats why rubies and diamonds ect are better than mica... What is rare is coveted. So if you make a little bit of leg "rare and naughty", of course the teenage boys will oblige. But if we say legs are just normal and everyday, then maybe we can move past this mess.
It's interesting how there is so much focus on what girls are wearing to school, but I have clear memories of boys gym classes playing shirts vs. skins... Girls can't show their shoulders/thighs/tummy, but boys can bear it all??
I think the first thing to needs addressed is that teenage boys need to be informed on how to control their hormone riddled pubescent bodies. If they are so uncontrollable that teachers and principles everywhere are scared they are going to maul a young girl because she shows her shoulders, maybe they should be separated (and yes I'm being sarcastic). I got told in middle school I wasn't allowed to wear skirts. I was 5'10, the skirt followed dress code but my legs were just too long. I checked before I left the house that morning. So let's start teaching children that our bodies are meant for other things besides sex.
Well, if there literally IS a kid like that, they probably SHOULD and WOULD be separated.
Load More Replies...at my school we have a really sexist uniform where all of the girls have to wear skirts... a few years ago they allowed girls to wear business pants. so i wore these tight-ish business pants to school and i got reprimanded for it and they told me that i can't wear them because the boys at school can't control themselves... why the hell should we get told not to wear something just because of boys.
Punishing the girls because boys can't be held responsible for being little pervs. Maybe we can educate the little shits to be more sensitive and get them over this archaic male dominance garbage. Boys have always been boys and girls are asking for it if they act improper, so much for being enlightened by 2020...
I work in the juniors department of a department store and the girls just had prom season. I had to help girls find dresses that didn't violate school code, and there's a HUGE discrepancy between what's marketed to teens and what their schools will allow. It makes for a lot of frustrated teens and parents.
I agree. If parents would stand up and refuse to buy overly sexualized clothing for their children, the market would eventually follow. Most of the problem is created by our overly-sexualized culture and the market follows along with what sells. Finding a pair of shorts with more than a 1 1/2 " inseam is very difficult these days. Many teen girls are concerned with the size and shape of their "booties" thanks to popular culture. It is sad and it is rampant. Look at the trend in wedding dresses. Emphasis is on descriptors that include, "hot , sexy, " and showing off the body's curves, meaning lots of skin, cleavage, and butt. These type of gowns are considered to be acceptable for even many church weddings. A bride is no longer to appear beautiful and modest. Many walk the aisle looking more like night club performers or prositutes. Our society has lost its way.
Load More Replies...Dress codes exist for a reason, instead of singling out students for wearing inappropiate clothing (yes, there are such things as inappropiate clothing for school and work) its better to make rules that apply to all, sure everyone have a different type of body, but if you go making exceptions, other students would find it unfair. Its ok asking the school to change their codes, but it would be easier if you get support from other parents, and ask for it in a proper way, instead of making a passive agresive letter so you can show of to your friends in facebook (personally the fingers length rule doesnt seem outrageous to me), also you can also change your kid to a school wich fits your ideals, or you can just suck it up, and teach your kid that not everything in life will be how you want it to be.
My daughters went to a school with the same policy. Hint: take out the hem of the shorts; add some material or lace or school colors to the bottom of the shorts. If you can't do that, find someone who can.. Instread of teaching your daughter the easiest way out, teach her to solve the problem. In the long run, better teaching tool for her.
Well great. I'm 12, and apparently I can't control myself. When I see someones KNEES, apparently I'm all over them. Wow. Some people are idiots. I completely disagree with the dress codes, kids should be able to wear what they want, and even more so with the "girls body being a sexual object.
When I was 13 I wore what I was told to wear and most of my wardrobe was hand-me-downs. Whether or not a garment was "fasionable" didn't come in to it. I didn't get to be picky about colours. If it was fit for purpose and didn't break the rules, I wore it. Like it or lump it.
There's a school that allows students to wear shorts??? For goodness' sake although I do agree that the young kid's bodies shouldn't be sexualized or whoever else, it's a dress code... of course you'd be warned for wearing clothes that are not allowed. My school does not allow shorts, skirts above the knee, pedals, we're also not allowed to wear spaghetti straps, if we do we should put blazers or something on it, heck they don't even allow ripped pants and this applies to both boys and girls.
That's slightly insane but I'm glad it applies to both girls and boys.
Load More Replies...In the UK it seems really odd a 13 year old could go to school in shorts at all (boy or girl). 2nd pic to me illustrates why no shorts.
They enforce a dress code rule for shorts but let cheerleaders wear skirts that barely cover their a*s cheeks....
that is so true, I have a uniform at my school which has to go to your knees but the teachers wear tights and see through tops.
Load More Replies...My son was put into ISS because his jacket was the wrong color. I looked up the school dress code and it specifically states that he's allowed to wear any jacket of his choice, including color. I've contacted the principal. So far, she's thoroughly ignoring me.
Call me whatever you wish, but there should be some dress standards for school. My daughter was sent home from school once for wearing shorts barely too short. She too is tall. I mentioned to her that morning her shorts looked a little short for school, but she could decide for herself. She was sent home that morning to put on something else. I wrote no letters to the school. She knew what the standards were. Has she been traumatized for life? It hardly seems so. Maybe she realized later that no one should expect to be above the rules. She is 43 now, a professional with two sons, who also know that standards apply to them, as well.
Thank you! I love this response. We're creating entitled little brats who think rules don't apply to them.
Load More Replies...tldr; "Sorry the rules shouldn't apply to my daughter because she refuses to wear any alternative options" - she'll adapt well to the real world later on
Why can't kids just be kids, let them worry about the adult world later.....and lots of workplaces do not have dress codes, we wear whatever the hell we want where I work
Load More Replies...While I agree that it's ridiculously hard to fit within dress code standards, I think she's complaining to the wrong people. Complain to outfitters and clothes stores. As long as we keep buying them, they'll keep providing them. I don't know why women suddenly have the need to show off there butts as they walk around in shorts, but as a woman myself, I would appreciate it if I could cover my own butt please and thank you. Whether or not men can control themselves or not is asides the point I think, short shorts is not a human right, why are we getting so worked up over this??
Can't wear pants, really? How is she ever going to get a job in this world, wear gym shorts every day of her life? How ridiculous
Went to an all girls school when I was in high school. Had a uniform to boot. Still got told off by the staff telling me my skirts were to short or I was not feminine enough in my uniform. Been the same height of 5ft 8.5inch since 7th grade (now 27). Haha my (m) teachers had a problem with alot of us and we were students who broke 5ft 7inch. Good job to this mom and I would love to see if this school will take up that shopping challenge.
At our school (in the UK), it's against the r rules for girls to have skirts above the knee! And yet, the boys are allowed to have shorts that go about 20cm above the knee! It's ridiculous how the headteacher thinks that the high skirts would "distract" the boys-- it's sexist, dare I say.
Is this a secondary school? I didn't know any allowed shorts...we couldn't even wear skirts at mine
Load More Replies...This is one of the many reasons I homeschool my children. They can learn in their underwear for all I care, as long as they are learning. I have no issue with dress codes except where they blame girls for "distracting" boys. F**k that sexist s**t. My oldest two attend an enrichment program that has a dress code (that not surprisingly, focuses on girl's clothing). I've explained it to my kids what it is, and that in some cases (like no sleeveless shirts?!) It's for stupid reasons and I give them the choice to either obey the rules or challenge the status quo, stand up for what they believe in and deal with the consequences. Why people want obedient little drones, I'll never understand.
My granddaughters are in grades 2 & 4 and the 2nd grader is frightened to go to school daily because she has been sent to the office numerous times this year because of her shorts not meeting her fingertips. She is 7. This is so ridiculous. She has stressed over this more than any studies or tests. I'm so mad!
that is so wrong. Why would a 7 year olds legs be sexual? she is just a kid. That is a disgusting thing to do to a child.
Load More Replies...Some students are always distracted, to a degree, by other students for varying reasons. It's not the girls' fault. If this were an acceptable attitude in the workplace, it would seem pretty bizarre: "Smith, why aren't you focusing on your work?" "Miss Wilson's breasts are distracting me." "Oh, I see, that's a perfectly good reason." Or, what if it were reversed? "Mr. Smith's hunky face is distracting! He has too good a smile. Tell Smith to stop smiling and put on a ski mask."
Let's start with a written dress code is a dress code. You know what the dress code is. Your only complaint is if they are singling you out for this violation, which I somehow doubt. School is not about being fashionable, it is about learning. Somehow, people have forgotten this and decided that it is more about making children happy. This is teaching your kid that they don't have to follow the rules they don't want to. If you don't like the dress code, pettition the school board to change or abolish it, like you are supposed to do. Outright ignoring it doesn't make you a hero or a rebel, it makes you lazy.
Okay, fair enough. But the reason behind the dress code is stupid. Saying that it will "distract the boys" . Um, girls have urges too, but if we were to say "sorry, his shoulders are really distracting me," they would not care. It's silly to think that both genders need to wear stricter clothing rather than just teaching all students how to properly handle urges. I think all schools should just have uniforms, it's so much easier, you usually have them at jobs top and it stops troubles like this. K bye.
Load More Replies...I'm in highschool and I swear, at my school they treat girls as objects. nothing shorter than your finger tips (this is a problem, I just turned 14 and I am very tall, almost 5'7, with long arms) and no shirts with a sleeve less than 3 fingers. shoulders and bra-straps must be so sexual, huh? So i can't avoid heatstroke because I'm an object to them.
It's that kind of exaggeration that loses your argument Nobody is going to get heat stroke from wearing 3 inches of fabric on their shoulders. Bras are underwear. That's "under"..
Load More Replies...Someone finally brings up volleyball uniforms, the school is fine with that. Those are much shorter then what the say you can wear
some school have those Nike Pros as acceptable sport uniform but normal uniform is past the knees, where is the logic in that!
Load More Replies...My daughter was told she couldn't wear a skirt that the teacher said was too short, it was a skort soooo. Then, I see what other girls wear, of certain families, who are not told anything. Lastly, at a band concert when the girls sit down and their skirts rise up so you can almost see their underwear, if they are wearing any-come on!!! So, why is it OK for some girls, OK in some settings but not others? I have to admit, I don't think I have seen a boy wear really short shorts to school but, what would happen if they did? What would happen if a boy wore a speedo when swimming? That would be interesting.
No dress codes in my country. They tried with uniforms, but oh boy, the backlash from parents and kids alike was quite something. For me, a dress code for school sounds ridiculous. This implies that everyone is going to classes dressed with less material than the highway chicks and you really, really have a need to impose more clothes on them. Which sounds pretty impossible because you know... kids(well, they're certainly not full-fledged adults legally)? Even if they had shorts and tops.. um summer? kids? very hot outside? What kind of a sick mind can you have to look at a high schooler in shorts (and by shorts i don't mean the type that barely cover half your butt, but regular ones) and think that they're a sexual thing or other b******t? It's seriously disturbing to look at the situation like this. Worse than the dress codes for prom or age limit that you guys have...
Heck I'm short and never could find shorts that met that requirement! They didn't even have bermudas available when I was in school & living in a southern state, pants are not an option!!
Kid's got a lot of demands on what she won't wear. When you sign your kid up for school, you make an agreement to abide by that dress code, whether you agree or not. You are not mandated to attend public school. If mom has a problem with the code, feel free to homeschool her since she doesn't see a need for a dress code. Kid's not the only tall lanky girl to attend the school I'm sure. It's cool if a kid has a personal style. But if that style interferes with abiding by society's rules, then it's time to maybe suck it up & learn to deal with rules like the grownups do, & put on something you might not like in order to follow said rules.
This "exceptionally well-spoken" author wrote "shorts and skirts must NOT extend to the fingertips". So assuming that was an error, she must find clothing that is longer than the fingertips. But her daughter refuses to wear dresses or pants. The school is not responsible for her daughters idiosyncrasies. It's not their problem that her daughter will only wear particular colors and styles. That should not have been included in the letter. That said, her daughter looks perfectly fine. These rules should keep clothing that sexualizes girls out of schools for the girls to have a school experience without that added onus. The reaction of boys (I saw NOWHERE that teachers were mentioned...nice reporting) should not be a consideration. Anyone who has survived Middle School will tell you that some boys will always find a way to sexualize girls, even if they wear potato sacks.
My niece was sent home to change due to her Joe's Crab Shack shirt that said "BITE ME" because that might give the boys ideas.... My son was made to turn his shirt inside out because it was a Halloween shirt. Orange with plain black text (no pictures of anything) that said "Treats, the uglier you are the more you get" because it was offensive to a teacher.
If the girls in schools around here had that much on at school I would be shocked.. It is the opposite here be it they do not have any dress codes anymore at all or they do not enforce them I don't know. These girls are in school with booty shorts and yoga shorts that do not even cover fully along with belly shirt tank tops... Stuff that you would usually only see appropriate for the gym or beach. Absolutely nothing wrong with this girls attire!
This is ridiculous but not in the way you think. The school is helping to protect your daughter from unwanted lures and worse. Your daughter's but cheeks are showing in the picture that you posted. Why is your 13 year old posing like that, so inappropriately why sitting on your lap? Instead of thanking the school, you are criticizing them.... way to go Mom!
This woman is not correct in her attitude or her behavior to the school. Those rules are there for a reason. They apply to both boys and girls. (Oh how I wish uniforms were still in fashion!) The mother is exhibiting the "I'm a special snowflake so you better treat me right" behavior most often noticed in the left. Her daughter did not follow the rules, even though she signed a piece of paper saying that she would. No excuse. BTW, if you are posting an article about appropriate attire, you shouldn't show a picture of the girl in shorts that expose her cheeks.
I had this problem years ago with my daughter...she's 5' 9" skirts and shorts hit her higher than a shorter girl...she got in trouble twice for wearing things they deemed too short, my husband was the one who actually went to the principals office for a mtg...let's just say the principle was the one speechless after he was done...I'm so tired of the school system picking on kids for the dumbest things, how bout they address bullying before a child kills themselves or how bout the girls who wear pajamas or tops that show way more cleavage than even a 30 year old should, come on!
Try educating boys that it is THEIR responsibility to control themselves and not behave like hormonal animals. Females shouldn't be punished because people don't care about teaching their sons respect and responsibility.
You are surely joking.No-one could;d be this stupid....
Load More Replies...Had 2 students wear same skirt, size and everything. One went nearly to girls knees other was about mid thigh and past her fingertips.
If I wore shorts that just went past my fingertips I would be arrested. I have super short arms and a long torso.
Sad how schools are determined to reinforce the opinion that boys are too weak (emotionally? mentally? what?) to control themselves and that since girl's bodies are so "distracting" it is therefore up to the girl to hide her body away (in shame? fear? what?) so that the poor, pitiful, weak, precious boys aren't "distracted". Great message to send to girls and young women, right? Way to go, schools. So, to be sure I have this straight: American girls should hide their bodies because boys aren't expected to control their own selves. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What country is this again?
Yeah, pubescent boys and girls have "urges". SHOCKER! So? This doesn't mean people should be dressing strictly, it just means our sex and puberty education needs to be better, teaching both genders how to deal with these "urges" in a good manner and also teach the genders to respect each other. Neither women nor men are on me ts to be ogled at and harassed. Masturbation exists for a reason and it shouldn't be seen as some thing bad, but rather something good. Otherwise people might not be able to control their "urges" and, not knowing how to properly deal with the, might rape someone or at least sexually harass them. JUST ALL GENDERS RESPECT EACH OTHER GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME ITS NOT THAT DIDFICULT!
I'm so jealous! 5'7 and only 13 years old. I'm 35 and stuck at 5'4. Good on this mom!!
Furthermore, even if you covered all students, regardless of gender, head to toe, it wouldn't change anything. They're at an age where they start to "like" people. Rather than try to prevent any distraction from happening in the first place, which you can't, because it's a natural process, it would work better in my opinion to find ways to redirect the focus back to the task at hand. This isn't always an easy thing, because there's always going to be some students that just don't want to, but that's different for each individual, and not the fault of the class as a whole.
I like that everyone has an excuse to why the rules shouldn't apply to them
Instead of telling our daughters they cant show their shoulders or their thighs because its a distraction, how bout you teach those boys how to control themselves so they dont grow up to be rapists blaming the girl for wearing a dress or showing their legs. That seems to be the problem... them being distracted right?
NO, the problem is the lefty nutcase teaching staff fear-mongering,right?
Load More Replies...My shook won't even give warnings, they give you ISS ( in school suspension) until your parents can get you "suitable clothes"
yes. although it was a dress code for shoes. this was a catholic high school and they decided to ease up on formal shoes and let the students wear runners as long as they were all black. my son had black runners and at base of shoes there was a 4 inch pencil thin red line . He got uniform infractions for 4 days And on fifth day i called the school and principle said he could find all black shoes... " i told him to go ahead and go look for shoes ...one thing I didn't mention was our son wears size 16... did he think that we hadn't looked or shoes for him ever before... just after lunch he called and said son could wear his shoes ... big surprise
Omg,just invite some Czech school and then you will see what teen girls wear..you will be shocked
I would love to see the boys wearing shorts at this school to see if the same rule applies. This was never an issue, sundresses, never an issue until other cultures made it one.In Canada the 1st sunny day would bring out sundresses now no bare shoulders because it offends and deemed disrespectful ??? These are children!!!Don't believe me? just check out all the rules in our school now in Toronto and other areas. Teach the children don't punish a normal, everyday occurrence.
I'm with suspender mom. Let's not have a double standard by any means.
I'm with suspender mom for the boys. Let's not have a double standard by any means.
Kid's got a long list of demands of things she won't wear. It's cool if a kid has a personal sense of style. It's not cool if nothing she has can confirm to a dress code for school. Stop letting your kid dictate to you what she will & won't wear to follow rules. Who is the parent? Mom, if you can't find anything for your kid to wear that conforms to a dress code that everyone else seems to be able to follow, feel free to home school since you don't see a need for your own dress code. Your kid isn't the only kid who is tall & lanky at that school, I'm sure.
Well Climate change doesn’t mean that it is going to be warmer all the time. And yes being able to learn in comfort does make sense. Online courses seem to offer that as well… I have no problem with dress code as long as it doesn’t break any laws. There are larger problems in the educational system… like students not being allowed to fail, etc. I don’t care what you are wearing as long as you learn the material. https://fitfootpro.com/best-shoes-for-male-teachers/
Dressing modestly vs Controlling hormones - which one is easy? Remember: Hormones r responsible for growth, gender and emotions. Controlling hormones will have ramifications. I somehow feel- human race is evolving to become gay and then that's how we'll go extinct. Because of Carcinogens, detergents, preservatives...sperm count is declining.
Shorts revealing butt cheeks, Yoga pants cameltoe and Butt cracks have become very common. The current trend is just taking it too far. At a picnic a 25yr old was wearing a mini n jumping around...revealing her underpants. My 4 yr old son was giggling and saying 'ewww'. Shall we send my 4yr old son to male hormone control counselling?? Just like ur revealing clothes, male hormones in a young child can't be controlled. Lighten up. We responsible adults spend a lot of energy n time, honing our mind and yet sometimes feel guilty of being distracted. Enough of ur feminism/femdom.
Ok, I could understand some clothes. Like if she wore low cut shirts that show clevage, or shorts that look like underwear. Boys can be educated, but as a teenager, their hormones are wracked and usually don't care much. But the stories I have seen on here regarding this, it's ridiculous. They go a bit overboard on the clothes.
I think that anyone who defends dress codes is a sexual deviant and the reason that boys in this generation are not learning to respect the girls. We had a lot less on in the 70s and simply didn't have these problems. Boys were taught to respect girls, knees and all. How silly. Knees aren't even sexy, it's so stupid.
Our school system passed a similar code a few years ago. We had to go out and buy new "basketball shorts" for our daughter for PE because the gym uniform, that we had bought the previous year from the school mind you, did not pass the new dress code. Insane.
This is rediculous and I hope it's not even true!If you don't like the schools rules, go to a different school. They may not be your rules, but you don't get to make the rules at this school. You are teaching your daughter that she doesn't have to follow the rules!
Look, dress codes EXIST. It's impossible to find shorts the right length that r fashionable? Then the fashion ur slaving to is too short.
The school's reaction is what you would expect from some very strict Islamic country: the woman's (or girl's) body is an object of a temptation to the male, so you are required to cover everything that can be covered - implicitly: because it's your fault that males are tempted; nobody would dream of teaching the men to behave and not to be perpetually in rut! I am Belgian, thus from western Europe, and as I spent one year in the US as an exchange student, I was very surprised the first time I turned out for (all-girls) gym class, dressed in yoga pants that were my Belgian school's regular uniform. Apparently, it was so indecent that I spent the year wearing some slacks over it. Bigotry and puritanism and hypocrisy took a whole different sense; at the time, we in Europe used to think that Americans were way ahead of us in terms of women's lib etc, and here I was with all my classmates dressed in uniforms that hadn't been worn in Europe since the end of WWII!
We've been dress coded at church! Leggings are a big no no because heaven forbid someone see her outline! Never mind that at least she is at church! My girl is short and small and so the shorts they sell are short! So because of the dress code, I am sure that when she is old enough she will not go to church because they have embarrassed her. So sad that Jesus said "Suffer the children to come unto me..." and we ridicule them when they come!
I understand boys and their hormones at that age but how about teaching the boys that they need to learn to keep it in check rather making it the girls' problem. I understand not wearing shorts where your butt is hanging out of it and not being able to wear the yoga pants is ridiculous. When my daughter was in middle school there were the same codes, one day she was walking out of the restroom when a boy walked passed her, grabbed her breast and said "Nice tits". She had a long sleeve sweatshirt on. When I reported it to the principle all she said was "well, you know boys and their hormones, I had a talk with him, I don't think he'll do it again". We need to stop making it about what the girls wear and more about teaching the boys to keep their hands to themselves.
What on this earth makes you think they aren't?Your blatant sexism is sickening.
Load More Replies...I love how this automatically turns into a war between boys and girls...It's the system you're fighting, it's the government and school board who are pushing for kids to be turned into robots...boys will look at girls just as girls look at boys, just perhaps more discreetly...that's what school is about; mingling, learning about each other and most importantly yourself...You say it's ridiculous that the dress code is so strict but you'd rather fight each other than the powers that be...why start a fight with the government with their guns, bombs and prisons when you can start a fight with kids for what they wear and how they act? You're all robots to society, waking up at 9am to work well into the night every day until you die for a fake currency you never got to spend because you worked until you couldn't move any more. Nobody has the balls to say "f**k paying taxes, f**k working to afford to eat, f**k using the word 'sir' because you think you're superior to me",
In 1957 all the senior girls had a "wear your Dad's white dress shirt " day. They were sent home . 60 years later kids are still being sent home for ridiculous reasons.
My daughter has been talked to about it and this momma bear has had to file a police report for a male gym teacher touching her a female teacher grabbing her arm during an anxiety attach. That doesn't even include the way some of the teachers dress from 4K all the way to High School
All clothes for girls make them look like sex objects. My 4 year old daughter is tall and skinny and I can not find her shorts to cover her. I have to buy her leggings. It realy sucks there are not more appropriate clothing options.
At character day at my high school, almost fifty girls got dress coded for wearing low-cut tops/dresses and leggings. Meanwhile, a large group of boys, at least twenty, came dressed as 80s rockers w/ open denim jackets and no shirts underneath and short shorts... and they got away with it. The sexist stereotyping of girls as opposed to guys is absolutely ridiculous and needs to stop.
I'm glad I had a school uniform. Saved that problem but then I feel he school did not do enough to enforce it. I don't see why those who choose to abide by it should then see others get away with flouting it. Sorry can't agree with this. It's probably not impossible to find something that is with in the dress code. I get sick and tired of seeing young girls dressed as older girls
I am a mom of 4 wonderful boys, the oldest is 16. My sons are perfectly capable of being around girls wearing short-shorts, spaghetti strap tanks or even swim suits without reacting. A lot has to do with how they are brought up; to be respectful. My boys have learned respect for their elders, as well as for the females they interact with.
In my humble opinion, I believe in uniforms. I believe both boys and girls should wear pants covering their knees, and no more of two fingers of skin should show on the shoulder. I would also include shoes whitin certain standards. When in highschool I got tired of watching 13yo buttcheeks walking upstairs... Dress code was up to each teacher, not the school. I felt very outraged because of the way this girls were treated by males in general. Now that I am a mom of three girls, I apply my own moral standards to their Dress code thinking about comfortability of the girl: it's not comfortable being touched by 50yo males, nor harrased about your bra side. Uniformity helps society to center their minds in upper thoughts. Also, I find infuriating the believe that males cant control themselves, as if they were brainless and beasts: some of them are, but just because they feel entitled to impose their will over other people. P.S.: if it was up to me, there would be a hairstyle code too.
First . It's the mother and others here who are assuming why there is a dress code. If she wanted to wear a thong to school would it be okay? Dress codes were established to curb the outlandish cloths some kids wear . NOT just the girls but boys too. Please get realistic , if a girl dresses provocatively at school she will be a distraction . Yes I know we shouldn't objectify people but we do and you all know it. The thing this woman is doing imo is she's teaching the daughter that she's above all the rules . There are rules we all follow through life . The mother might want to think how it would look if she wore those shorts to work. If she works in a hospital she cannot wear whatever she wants to wear. With all that's going on in the world you'd think she would just get some shorts that are too long and have them fitted .
If this school had uniforms there would be no problem. Trying to be a modern parent and taking your spoiled brat school clothes shopping must be trying, even to these overly educated parents that think being assertive is a form of abuse. But they made their beds and now they can lie in them along with school officials that are as ignorant as they are blind.
Well as a high school student i got dress code for wearing a button up shirt and tie at countryside high school Fl i thought this was messed up for looking nice but this is what schools do nowadays.
No tank tops? Really? Was I a student in one of these schools nobody would ever complain about my shorts since I used to wear long pants the whole year. But tank tops? I don't like T-shirts, they're usually too close to my neck. If it's too hot, I'll put up a tank top, no doubt about it. And how can somebody say yoga pants are too provocative? Hearing from my elementary school teachers that pretty much anything above the knees was a distraction for the boys was enough for me - honestly, I'm 30 and I still don't feel confident enough to wear miniskirts and minidresses.
Why the hell are the boys oggling girls in the first place? We're not sex toys. They need to focus on their school work and not be turned around staring at the girl. Thats why all obys schools and all girl schools exist sexiest as they may be. The mom had EVERY right to do what she did.
why don't they just use the inseam, that's what my school does, so its fair.
This whole thing is so obnoxious, I can't believe this has to be explained to ANYONE. 1) As a middle school teacher, I can tell you, this is not BODY SHAMING 2) This is not about blaming girls for boys behavior 3) This mother has allowed her child to call the shots in their home and seems to be almost afraid of parenting her child- this is the #1 problem in our culture today 4) School is a place of LEARNING, not a place to show off how fashionable your child may be. Rape culture is a very real thing. It's not ok for boys to learn that objectifying females is ever OK. They help noticing, but it's YOUR JOB as parents to teach boys this. I am happy to enforce that, but do your damn jobs 5) boys absolutely get dress coded as well. Sagging pants, deep cut muscle shirts, short running shorts- absolutely not AT SCHOOL 6) Children are hitting puberty in middle school- can anyone "control" the reactions boys might have- and if we try, aren't we then shaming boys for going through puberty?
My daughter was in school in the 1980s. We live on an island and the kids got the first ferry on a Monday morning , returning on a Friday evening for the weekend. They boarded in the school hostel. I sent daughter off each Monday complete with school uniform, blazer etc. along with her friends However, by the time these little angels had arrived on the mainland , they were dressed in jeans, tee shirts and trainers, with the hated uniforms stuffed in their cases. I never heard a cheep from the school . Nowadays I note that all the children at that school are immaculately dressed in uniform. Maybe the 1980s were more permissive . ( just commenting) Daughter ? She's an English teacher ......
If a school allows shorts, they have a right to set a standard, bit it has to be practical and apply across the board. Inseam length would be more rational that using comparison to an unrelated body part. OTOH, why not teach children school isn't recreation and, except for during sports, they should dress in a reasonably businesslike manner? Saying it's sick to see "innocent" children as sexual is a cop out. Girls don't dress in booty shorts, cleavage baring tops and very tight clothes because of the weather. They do it to look "sexy" and school isn't the place to express your sexuality.. Children should be taught what's appropriate for given times and places. It's no different than adults not being allowed to wear clubwear to work.
,ale sure the boys where a bag over they're head so they don't distract the girls with their good looks. Kids are their to be educated .... if they're showing up to school teach them.
I think dress codes help teach kids about how dressing well is important. It is a building block for their future - jobs and such.
And not one code can make everyone happy. I think the mom is being a bit whiny about it. Get over it... the girl can wear a skirt. Big deal!
Load More Replies...People are so mad their kids aren't allowed to have their childrens vaginas hanging out at school.. I'd say I don't care what my daughter wants to wear..sorry.. also we're in the day and age of leggings for pants.. put them under the shorts and stop bitching..
In the 50s I nearly got suspended for having spray in colour in my hair....the suspension was not going to be for having it in my hair, it was because I wouldn't say who had the spray canister....the bully vice P knew my Dad and used it against me by threatening me with what my Dad would say....
My athlete daughter is self-conscious enough about her slight frame. She prefers basketball shorts or sweats, so I'd never dream of her being called to the principal's office for dress code violation, but she was. She was mortified. In tears. She is a straight A, total rule follower type, so it was genuinely traumatic for her. Her soccer coach required the girls to dress up for school on game days. She wore a dress (a monumental event in and of itself). It was sleeveless, so she wore a jean jacket, exposing her shoulders was a mortal sin in dress code land. The skirt of her dress was as modest as can be found in teen clothing, not extremely short by any stretch of the imagination. But being who she is, she put shorts on under it. She was sent to the principal's office as the length did not come to the fingertips, missed by an inch. I was required to bring her "appropriate" clothes before she could return to class. Took 2 yrs to get her in a dress again. Ridiculous!
Just follow the damn rules. By going to the school, you agreed to follow them. If you don't like the rules EVERYBODY ELSE follows, leave.
What a mommy! It's so *$#$% easy for institutions of all kinds to formulate rules without practical reasoning ... or in some cases 'flexibility', especially since rigidity doesn't work well with humans!
Shame on the school administration. They better teach boys how to behave themselves, instead of throw this ridiculous dress code to girls.
when i went to school in the 60's girls had to wear skirts down to the top of their knees, flats and nylons and a blouse that had no deep cleavage. the boys? they had to wear suit and ties and this is in high school. the lesson here was that they were preparing us for going out in the working world when we graduated. a dress code that should have stayed. believe me we hated it but it did teach you something. no jeans no long pants etc. thats a little archaic. sometimes the boys would deliberately no wear their ties or leave them in their lockers just so the vice principle could put crepe paper bow ties on them then he would hold their hands and parade them around school. those guys loved it. i know my own brother was one of them lol. simply put i think schools need to have dress codes.
At our middle and high school, we just need to have 5-inch inseams. The fingertip rule is f*****g stupid
Mind you this happened over ten yrs ago, but when my daughter was in 5 grade she was told she could not wear certain tops anymore because when she raised her hand her belly button would show , jeez clothes shrink in the dryer hello! My solution was an easy one, never throw our clothes in the dryer, I hang them to dry, clothes do. It so now our clothes last longer and never had an issue again.
When I was in high school extremely small high school most classes where 30-50 kids. We had the same dress code but they were never enforced on the girls but more on the guys because being the vast majority of us guys were farmers or country boys we had sleeveless shirts or muscle shirts. The school really frowned upon the sagging pants fashion. We were told from the beginning of the school year any boys caught wearing sagging pants will have the choice suspenders or baler twine to use as a belt.
My Granddaughter is in 5-K,She is already 4 ft 3 in .She tells me no tank tops Nenny, I buy her ex-small women's workout shorts so they almost touch her knees. I have very short arms and legs, my finger tips barely cover my butt.
everytime I see this kind of things I'm glad I live where I live, we had rules too but morale ones,like no short skirts the size of your palm, same with shorks, no big cleveage to show boobs no swimswuit or flippers and no swim shorts for boys, that's it, no one would come to mesuare us when we entered school or detention if we ,one day come with a very short skirt, they just told us not to come again. ofc if you didn't listen then the teacher in charge with the class, at the class metting with the parents will tell them how you behave. That's it
Yes. When I was in the 9th grade I was made to kneel on a table to see if my skirt touched the table. It didn't!
In my school we were not alowed to wear shorts at all.I had a colleague that was sent home because the color of the jeans was red.
I dread this I have a fiveyear old that is as tall as some o and 10 year olds. Its already hard to find cloths that fit her the way that I like with out being to short. Honestly it's not our faults as parents at all its the company's making the cloths. There getting skimper each year.
I would've liked someone to have done this for us when I was in school. I had similar issues with the dress code and I'm built the exact opposite as this young woman, small with a short torso and long legs. Reminds me of being sixteen years old and having the witch lunch aide mortifying me in front of the entire cafeteria by telling me shorts were too short and were riding up when I sat down and "everyone could see everything". I was horrified.
I really wish someone had stood up to the dress code when I was in school. We had restrictions just like this, and I myself had many issues following it, and I am built the exact opposite of this young woman, small with a short torso and longer legs. No fashionable shorts are fingertip length. The worst, most humiliating moment that comes to mind was when I was sixteen. In the cafeteria, in front of the entire lunch period, one of the aides told me quite loudly that my shorts were too short and rode up on my thighs when I sat down; everyone could "see everything". I was mortified.
"girls are more likely to be penalized by the dress code than boys every time, they’re often made to feel responsible for its existence."............Spare me the drama! It's called "boys" policing each other. Short-shorts, sleeveless shirts, mid-drift shirts, skin tight pants, etc., the boys would be abused by other boys at schools. Face it, short-shorts on girls is accepted.
what I think is its appalling that they have that rule for shorts yet I see some girls going to school in almost nothing at all! how in the hell are they going to tell a poor 13yr old that she has to change because her shorts are to short to them yet a 17yr old can walk around in a mini skirt with her twat and a*s hanging out ?
I agree my daughter has graduated now but we went through from middle school to high school. She would wear shorts or a skirt a few time have no problem then there was always that one teacher sending her to the office and she refused to wear other peoples clothes so i would get the call to bring her something,so i have to drop what i'm doing to bring her something and she is sitting there missing class so i guess her wardrobe was more important than her being in class. she is not a tall girl 5'4 but she is all legs and its impossible to find shorts that long that aren't boy shorts which we all know a young girl doesn't want to wear. I think instead of making our girls feel like sex objects if boys are going to make crude and rude sexual remarks they should be reprimanded for it then maybe we wont have so many damn sexual predators when they grow into men or womanizers.
How about forcing parents to teach their sons to be gentlemen, and treat girls like HUMAN BEINGS. I guess we should also teach our daughters that if they're sexually assaulted, chances are their clothes were too short/small/tight? Really, society needs to get its head out of it's collective a*s and start expecting boys to behave as civilized human beings.
At my current school you're not allowed to wear shorts at all, so during the spring all the girls wear skirts. But it's still impossible to
When will educators enter the 21st century? Males are not animals that can not control their sexual urges. Do you have a dress code for them. The female body encased a female mind, heart and self image. The pictures shown seem to me that the attire is appropriate, if you are going to allow students to wear shorts. Is the female leg a distraction? Maybe the male leg is a distraction for a female. Are you worried about that? I do totally agree not allowing midrif and cleavage revealing shirts for both males and females. I believe that all children should dress appropriate for school - not for tennis, or sunbathing or etc. Help our girls and boys respect themselves which includes, Parents, helping them buy clothes appropriate for their age. And then to wear them to school. This young lady is the victim of oversexed educators stuck in the 19th century.
I have had many run inside with my daughters high school I don't think the code here in Knoxville is all that harsh. The way it is enforced on the other hand is horrendous. Male students get away with wearing what they want how ever they want. While females are coded even when they are in code because they are a distraction to the male students and staff.
I don't really care how someone else's daughter wants to dress (just glad I don't have one) but I'm tired of women trying to act like men/boys are seriously affected by how women's bodies are presented based on attire. I remember being a teenager and it was like being on fire... like a volcano of sexual energy with nowhere to put it. And really I didn't notice that hormonal drive calm down until I hit my 30s and had been married for over 10 years. To be clear, my libido is still there but it's more like an "I'll just eat when I get home" type of appetite versus the chicken pox like fiery itch of adolescent sexuality. Even my son (13) has complained about girls wearing yoga pants because it is distracting. So yeah, girls/women can dress however they want and men/boys have to learn how to manage their feelings, but stop acting like you're dressing in a self-expression vacuum. You're not.
I think this mom is pushing it and just being whiny. What is she teaching her daughter? That if you make a big fuss then you can become famous and get your way? First, your daughter's finger are not longer than any other girls. Second, who cares what your daughter doesn't like to wear. I don't "like" wearing business clothes to work, but you wear what you have to. You follow the rules because that's life. We have to do things we don't like to do. Get over it! You're not special, and neither is your daughter.
Take her shopping, and see if you can find anything that meets the dress code requirements, then!
Load More Replies...Additionally, what is the reason your girls want to wear as little as possible at school? Don't say because it's hot. I agree that the finger tip rule is dated. But look at the inseam. Why does any girl need to wear 3 inch or shorter inseams to school? Give me a break. And when your daughter whines that those shorts that actually cover her a*s aren't "cute enough", remind her that she is 12, 13, 14 years old, and is still a child. Who is she trying to be cute for, and where are you as parents, building her self-esteem up about who SHE IS, rather than how cute she looks? Don't be an absent parent, then show up just to ridicule the public school employees who you apparently expect to teach your child everything you refuse to, and then be the "bad guy" when you can't be.
spoiled brat. there are rules to follow. if you get to work in an office when you're done with school will you make your mom write a letter to your principal explaining how you don't feel like dressing properly for work?
Lemmesee. Y'all want the boys to control their "raging hormones" rather than deprive the girls the self-expression of showing off their a*s, right ? Are you the same people who text while driving, apply makeup, chit chat face-to-face with back seat passengers and drive with your knees so you have both hands free for more important things ? Just like the whole idea of driving is DRIVING, the whole idea of school is EDUCATION. School minus distractions = education, pure and simple. School is no more the time and place for socializing and titillation than driving is for rubbernecking at someone else' accident. You want fairness ? Uniforms, the blouseier, the better. Bare your T&A after school, dummies.
Don't you guys that there are hundreds of sick bastards out there? I am a mom of a 3.5 year old little girl, and I am sure these rules are to protect the girls. Of course, you can still stick to your ideas but it is for your own good.
The people that force women to cover up head to toe use the same kinds of reasoning. It for their own good, of course...
Load More Replies...women cant stop women from objectifying themselves so they blame men
When I was in highschool I was sent home a couple times for dress code. Once for wearing leggings under a jean mini skirt with a long sweater. The principal first asked me if I could just take the skirt off and wear just the shirt with it and I was like uhh you want me to wear just leggings? She told me to put my giant lab coat on from the nursing program I was dually enrolled in which went down to my knees and made me wait til lunch and then sent me home to change and I missed eating. So the second time when she sent me home to walk in the rain with her umbrella because I had holes in my jeans I just stayed home the rest of the hour and watched tv and smoked a couple bowls and went back for last hour falling asleep to history movies lmao screw that. Dress code really did me good.
It isn't dress codes, per se, that are antiquated so much as it is the attitudes of those who propose and enforce them. The notions behind their rationales are medieval.
I think the rules is to protect the girls not to degrade them. Human supose to dress humanly, not tarzanly.
Well, this particular dress code is degrading towards that girl. Telling a girl that her clothes are sexually distracting towards the boys is very degrading. How about teach the boys to respect women and that girls bodies are not sex objects?
Load More Replies...She is at school not on a catwalk, her parents know what the uniform is . So why the hell don't they just put her in the correct uniform.! If the other kids parents can get shorts the right length ( I sure she is no taller than most of her peers) then why can't she. If it's that bad buy a pair of bermuda shorts and cut them to the right length. One more parent trying to change school rules to suit themselves.
The problem is that schools are blaming girls for the perverted behaviour of boys. Dress codes imply that boys cannot control themselves from assaulting girls and that they do not need to control themselves. This idea is toxic, especially when taught to children. This is how America continues to oppress and sexualize women.
Load More Replies...Omg simple solution: wear pants! And why did you think the second day would make the shorts acceptable? Mom sounds like she needs a healthy dose of reality and another look at those rules.
If you read the mothers letter, the daughter cannot wear pants.
Load More Replies...The rules are the rules. This woman is an idiot. Talking about not being able to find anything "remotely fashionable" that fits with the school standards. It's not supposed to be fashionable. It's about wearing appropriate clothes that fit and skin tight yoga pants don't come under that category! Why does every mother think her daughter should be any different? It's infuriating.
Well, the rules are the ones who oppress women and make them feel guilty for being born female.
Load More Replies...I think it's gross for these girls to all be wearing shorts that could be mistaken for underwear. And we wonder why there are pedophiles.
And this is what we call 'victim-blaming', ladies and gentlemen! Asking boys and men to control themselves and treat girls and women like human beings, not sex objects, is NOT too much to ask of them. ALL children should be taught at a young age to respect one another, regardless of gender, and taught about consent. Boy doesn't want girl to hug him. That's consent. Girl doesn't want Boy to kiss her! That's consent. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Are you seriously saying that CHILDREN shouldn't wear shorts and bathing suits in summertime, because it might trigger somebody? 'Yes, the children are responsible for getting themselves attacked! It's not the men's fault!' Do you even hear yourself?
Load More Replies...Just highlights the benefits of having a school uniform - everyone is dressed the same and they're right up to code!
I upvoted you just so I could respond to this, as your comment was hidden. I;m sorry but I go to middle school right now, and the only people that have said they are "offended" by clothes like that have been teachers. In my opinion, if an adult can't handle seeing a girls bra straps or thighs, they need to grow up. It's 2017. I'm tired of seeing "it's offensive" or "it distracts boys". I'll have you know that out of the students at my school, not one of them gets distracted, because our school emphasizes learning over how long your shorts are.
Load More Replies...I honestly don't know if any parent that doesn't wish for uniforms. My daughter's school has them and people tell me they wish their school did, too. Not for "dress code" reasons, but because it makes life do much easier. For families with limited income, it's so helpful. If you only have one uniform, nobody will know. Plus uniforms can be donated and the school has a sale (2-3 dollars per item) which benefits student activities. Win-Win.
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