Mom Shares Her Tearful And Painful Experience Returning To Work 12 Days After Giving Birth
No parent should be forced to choose between spending time with their newborn and going back to work. Balancing your job and parenting is hard enough even in the best of times. There’s no balance to be found when you’ve just given birth to a premature baby and have to go back to work because of how parental leave works— it is simply heartrending. In some cases, instead of spending every single moment with your baby, you might be forced to go back to work just days later, if you live in the US.
New mom Rebecca Shumard, who goes by @edensmomma10_12 on TikTik, went viral after filming herself crying because of the reality of her tough situation. She shared how she had to return to work just 12 days after giving birth to her baby, daughter Eden, at just 27 weeks. This is so the 26-year-old could then spend her maternity leave with Eden once she’s discharged from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (aka NICU). Scroll down to watch Rebecca’s emotional video and to find out how things turned out great because of the kindness of strangers.
The US remains the only wealthy country on Planet Earth without a national paid parental level program. According to BBC Worklife, roughly 21% of US workers have access to paid family leave via their employers. Meanwhile, other parents have access to (just) 12 weeks of unpaid leave. That is if they happen to work at a company with 50+ employees. Or, as The Atlantic put it a tad more bluntly, this situation is “American exceptionalism at its bleakest.”
Bored Panda reached out to Labor and Delivery (L&D) Nurse Holly D. for comment. “At 27 weeks gestation, an infant is just completing the 2nd trimester and considered very premature although most cases are viable,” she told us. “A patient with a history of preterm delivery is considered High Risk. Premature babies are at higher risk for premature lungs, risk of complications regulating temperature, brain bleeds, increased risk of infections, that can result in death. Prematurity is a rigorous journey.”
Holly explained that most premature babies will require admission to the NICU. “Their gestational age will determine how long their NICU stay will be. At 27 weeks, it is almost always expected for some type of respiratory support to be a significant part of the plan of care as the baby’s lungs continue to develop and mature.” Scroll down to hear Holly’s thoughts about the importance for parents to be with their babies after birth. “To say that a mother or father being present after the birth of their child is important does not seem enough.”
Mom Rebecca went viral after sharing how she had to go back to work just 12 days after her premature baby was born
Image credits: edensmomma10_12
Her video reached a lot of people around the globe who gave her a helping hand. You can watch the full video here
@edensmomma10_12 #nicu #postpartum #ppd #preemie #americanhealthcare #maternity ♬ original sound – Rabs
“The postpartum period is such an intricate time for the mother to heal physically emotionally, and mentally,” Labor and Delivery Nurse Holly told Bored Panda.
“It is also a time where bonding and learning with the newborn takes place. This bonding is healing in so many ways. In premature birth, mothers are forced to make a choice to heal physically or postpone that postpartum time off from work for when the infant comes home from NICU,” she said.
“Unfair/inhumane will describe that forced decision that employers have placed on the parents in these situations. Parents are able to continue bonding with their infant while in most NICU admissions. This bonding time can be interrupted by plan of care, and medical needs. Employers should not be dictating the medical needs of the mother and imposing continued delay in bonding time with their infant.”
Here’s how TikTok users reacted to the mom’s tough situation
Some people shared information about what parental leave looks like in other developed countries
Fortunately, the mom and her newborn got the happy ending they deserved
Image credits: edensmomma10_12
Here’s how some internet users helped Rebecca after her video went viral
You can watch Rebecca’s follow-up video right over here
@edensmomma10_12 Thank you all so very much 🥰 #nicu #postpartum #ppd #preemie #premature #prematurebaby #pumping #medela #americanhealthcare #FMLA #maternityleave #familyleave #Eden ♬ original sound – Rabs
The parental leave situation in the United States heavily contrasts to the situation in other Western nations. For example, in the European Union, paid parental leave is mandated and employees cannot be punished for requesting it.
“Both parents are entitled to at least 4 months leave each. As a general rule, employees cannot transfer their leave entitlement to the other parent. However, some countries may allow them to transfer part of their entitlement, but no more than 3 months,” the official webpage of the EU explains. “Under EU rules, staff can take parental leave at any time until the child is 8 years old. However, this age limit may be lower in some countries, under national law.”
Parents should, obviously, get to spend time with their newborn children without having to worry about work. However, the way that the law currently works in the US means that Rebecca had to choose between using up her 12 weeks of unpaid parental immediately or going back to work so she has access to it later. She chose to save it up for when her daughter got out of the NICU. The mom was also very worried that she might not even have milk available for her baby when she finally got back home.
However, there was a happy ending to the story. In a follow-up video, Rebecca shared that the financial support she got from social media users meant that she could take time off work until April to spend time with her daughter. Because of people’s kindness, she didn’t have to worry about not being able to pay the bills.
“TikTok, because of you, I will not be forced to choose between being with my daughter in NICU or paying bills. I am eternally grateful,” the mom said. Rebecca told Yahoo that her daughter was born in October of 2021 and was discharged from the NICU 72 days later on December 23.
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This makes me so mad I want to cry and shout. What is wrong with the USA? I am cuddling with my baby while writing this in my 2 years maternity leave period.
Money. The U.S. does not care about us as individuals it's pure greed the almighty dollar is all our government and corporations care about
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In the UK she wouldn't even be legally allowed to work 12 days after birth- the legal minimum maternity leave is two weeks. The statutory maximum is 52 weeks- the first 39 weeks at 90% pay. Most companies give full salary for the full twelve months- and my wife's company offers 12 months full pay and a further 6 months at 60% pay. And somehow, all of our businesses continue to run just fine...
Actually not technically accurate regarding 90% of pay - this only applies to lower incomes. Most women end up with a huge pay cut. I have never heard of any companies giving full salary for the full 12 months! My employer does 6 weeks full pay, 20 weeks half pay, 13 weeks statutory maternity pay (SMP £151.97 per week). The final 13 weeks are unpaid. Many women therefore are still unable to take a full 12 months off. The gov guidance is as follows, which is the absolute minimum you can be paid. the first 6 weeks: 90% of their average weekly earnings (AWE) before tax the remaining 33 weeks: £151.97 or 90% of their AWE (whichever is lower)
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Because of BoredPanda I am now thinking of becoming a politician to try and help American citizens.
Even third world countries have maternity leave .. in Brazil we have 4 to 6 months, which is less than ideal, but still better than the US
As a mother and a german who was able to stay home for 3 years after every child this breaks my heart...
I staid with mine for 2.5 years. Really treasured that time.
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I hate the US. this mom is probably in debt because of her daughter's NICU stay. it's so messed up.
My wife's paid maternity was about a year (UK) then she decided not to go back to work but to be a full time mum. Financially it was challenging but better for our son that she did that due to his autism. She is back at work now. I had 2 weeks paternity and only took one as the second would cost me too much
Yep. Paid. That is *key*. Unpaid family leave even if you have/had a good job essentially not really "leave" at all. But it sucks that you couldn't take more time (both of you) together. :-(
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I'm male, but same thing with our first child, A preemee. My wife only got six weeks leave, I received none. I took my one week of vacation available, so I could help my exhausted wife, but I needed to be there much longer. I worked night shifts, we live far out in a rural Area, we had no grandparents available to help us, nor friends, because we had just moved here the year before. America is a joke, we let it become this way, now it will take force to win it back. The rich always resist giving up their ill gotten profits, usually using the police who only exist to protect the wealthy. You pay for them, but they aren't for you. They keep us poor, too exhausted to think or vote, and too ill educated and sick to understand we have become modern peasants/ wage slaves. You want things to become equitable for everyone? You're going to have to fight, hard... To get it back. Always throw a rock into the corporate and government machinery, it is only there to enslave you.
And to be more precise... no man should EVER decide on an appropriate time frame for postpartum until they: 1- run a marathon every day for 40 weeks. 2- shove a giant football thru their ass after 2 days of horrific cramping. 3- rip and tear; need stitches, then walk around as if their organs are going to fall out for multiple weeks... 4- get put on prolactin, so they can lactate, and know what it feels like to feed a newborn every 2 hours, and keep their boobs out for a full hour every time! 5- get no sleep. Forever. I tried to go back to work after 2 weeks bc my ex was a narcissist; getting ready took me 4 hours bc I had to pump and feed. Then drop our daughter off 30 mins away.... FOR A 4 HOUR SHIFT. I could not pump there; ended up with painfully clogged ducts, and losing half my production. Took more time off for daughter, and (of course, his mommy dearest), said I was a lazy POS bc "I should be back working at 6 weeks"...
As a woman in the US, it's this s**t that makes me okay with not being able to get pregnant. I already have depression, I can't imagine having a baby and then having to go back to work even 12 weeks later. No.
Similar boat also in the US - I had my baby at 27 weeks. Quitting wasn’t an option, my baby needed me to stay insured. I was told I could take up to 12 weeks (using my saved time off and then unpaid after that ran out). I planned and was preparing to go back to work after just 3 weeks - that way I’d have 9 weeks of leave once she discharged from the hospital. She died after the second week and I returned to work the following week. My boss didn’t even acknowledge me, not my loss, nor my return to work. Just completely ignored me.
Not all Canadians want to hire Americans. Also it's 4geir home, why leave?
Load More Replies...
Why don't you Americans do anything about this? You just spent trillions in Afghanistan. What about spending a little on your self?
Well, see, there's this problem called the industrial-military complex, which uses our taxes not for good things but for Wall Street profits, and I'd *love* (as a chidl of two US military veterans no less) to cut Defense/War spending to about 30% its current bazillions and make education and healthcare a priority. But t hatmakes me a "socialist". Really? I t hought it made me a patriot ----- willing to sacrifice ($$) for my nation's good.
Load More Replies...
In Germany there’s something called „Mutterschutz“ which literally „protection of the mother“. Pregnant women and newly mothers are not allowed to work 6weeks prior to work and 8 weeks after giving birth. (12 weeks, if baby was born prematurely). During that time the woman is still paid, by the employer as well ad the health insurance. After that the parent usually takes something called „Elternzeit“, „parents‘ time“ which may last up to 3 years. During that time the parent is paid by the state, up to 67% of their former salary. After Elternzeit the employee needs to find a position for the parent coming back to work.
My sister was forced to pay in full, in advance, for a 23 hour stay at the hospital. This was before insurance was mandated or offered when Obama was President. She had a seizure post delivery but she and her son still had to leave the hospital at hour 23. (She also waited and waited to enter the hospital until she was very far along so she wouldn't waste her allotted time in labor only).She gave birth on a Thursday and went back to work the following Monday. She was a school teacher working with special education students, children who were often violent and had to be physically restrained. She was miserable, emotionally and physically.
"The US remains the only wealthy country on Planet Earth without a national paid parental level program." Now here's how a JOURNALIST would have written it. "The U.S. remains the only country on Planet Earth that is enlightened enough to elevate freedom over all other ideals. It does not force any company to make impossible economic choices and imperil the lives and livelihoods of all of its employees in favor of those who choose to start families. If companies have the resources to offer paid leave, they can, and probably should, do so. But it is morally and financially unacceptable for government to mandate additional financial burdens on businesses already operating on a shoestring."
Consider this: For all the troubled kids out there, including those belonging to gangs and are otherwise into criminal activity that so many like to blame "bad parenting", riddle me this Bat-fans! How is there supposed to be good or even proper parenting when both parents have to work full time and there is sh*t maternity leave? How is a proper child-parent early bonding supposed to happen?
why do people think america is a good place? with all these articles about healthcare, wages and education, it sounds like a 3rd world country thats had a makeover to disguise how crappy it actually is sure uk isnt perfect in anyway whatsoever but at least we dont have to pay thousands just to be allowed to give birth in a hospital and i think thats just the price for the ambulance, $3000 i think was the charge one woman had to pay
Ironically it’s the same country that wants to force every pregnant person to carry every pregnancy till birth, regardless of whether they can afford to look after the child or any other consideration
I am very sorry this happened, I can only imagine what she's going through. For once, I am behind this, her sharing her most vulnerable time with strangers on social media MIGHT help make awareness that the health system in USA is almost to nonexistent. The whole thing is a joke and inhumane. This is something we always talk about it but we can never know how to fix it, we being the 99% of the population in the world.
The US is so broken I fear it’s irreparable. The middle class is being cannibalized by the wealthy, people are unable to “budget” themselves out of poverty, the government does nothing to help, healthcare is a mess, I hate it.
I would have resigned. This made me so angry, where I live now you get 1 year, where I'm from you get 2, used to be 3 years.
But then you have no income and no insurance. She had no financial choice.
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It's easy to tell her to take those pumping breaks every 3 hours but I have worked in the medical field, you can't just drop a critical patient or stop assistance in the middle of surgery, or leave when you're monitoring 5 patients at once...especially if you're short staffed. In order to get a break there has to be someone to take over for you.
This is why many women quit their jobs when they have a baby, many can not even physically work so early and of course it's a system only designed if you have a father supporting you both. Even if that's the case we know most families need 2 incomes to survive. People need to drop saying evil America bla bla. Yes you get fqir maternity in many countries forbSALARIED jobs. Not for contract and zero hour contracts. Many things are written on paper but women are ousted out of the workplace all thr time due to giving birth, in every country.
sad, but someone has to say it : why are you having children when those are the circumstances you're forced to live with?
Because we are still humans who love and want children? We can’t change anything by NOT having kids…
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Wow Mewton, way to be an unsympathetic twat.
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Maternity leave of one year or longer is available in most other developed countries. The thing is, the "job" doesn't pay it, the government does. So nobody is actually saying what you appear to think they are saying. Although there are some employers in those countries that offer to "top up" what the government offers and provide an even better deal. They choose to do that because it increases morale and makes them an employer that people WANT to work for
Load More Replies...
Only in America is an answer this stupid considered acceptable. Dozens of other countries can do it, it's not some magic puzzle. The solutions are right there if you care to look beyond your own borders.
Load More Replies... This makes me so mad I want to cry and shout. What is wrong with the USA? I am cuddling with my baby while writing this in my 2 years maternity leave period.
Money. The U.S. does not care about us as individuals it's pure greed the almighty dollar is all our government and corporations care about
Load More Replies... In the UK she wouldn't even be legally allowed to work 12 days after birth- the legal minimum maternity leave is two weeks. The statutory maximum is 52 weeks- the first 39 weeks at 90% pay. Most companies give full salary for the full twelve months- and my wife's company offers 12 months full pay and a further 6 months at 60% pay. And somehow, all of our businesses continue to run just fine...
Actually not technically accurate regarding 90% of pay - this only applies to lower incomes. Most women end up with a huge pay cut. I have never heard of any companies giving full salary for the full 12 months! My employer does 6 weeks full pay, 20 weeks half pay, 13 weeks statutory maternity pay (SMP £151.97 per week). The final 13 weeks are unpaid. Many women therefore are still unable to take a full 12 months off. The gov guidance is as follows, which is the absolute minimum you can be paid. the first 6 weeks: 90% of their average weekly earnings (AWE) before tax the remaining 33 weeks: £151.97 or 90% of their AWE (whichever is lower)
Load More Replies... Because of BoredPanda I am now thinking of becoming a politician to try and help American citizens.
Even third world countries have maternity leave .. in Brazil we have 4 to 6 months, which is less than ideal, but still better than the US
As a mother and a german who was able to stay home for 3 years after every child this breaks my heart...
I staid with mine for 2.5 years. Really treasured that time.
Load More Replies... I hate the US. this mom is probably in debt because of her daughter's NICU stay. it's so messed up.
My wife's paid maternity was about a year (UK) then she decided not to go back to work but to be a full time mum. Financially it was challenging but better for our son that she did that due to his autism. She is back at work now. I had 2 weeks paternity and only took one as the second would cost me too much
Yep. Paid. That is *key*. Unpaid family leave even if you have/had a good job essentially not really "leave" at all. But it sucks that you couldn't take more time (both of you) together. :-(
Load More Replies... I'm male, but same thing with our first child, A preemee. My wife only got six weeks leave, I received none. I took my one week of vacation available, so I could help my exhausted wife, but I needed to be there much longer. I worked night shifts, we live far out in a rural Area, we had no grandparents available to help us, nor friends, because we had just moved here the year before. America is a joke, we let it become this way, now it will take force to win it back. The rich always resist giving up their ill gotten profits, usually using the police who only exist to protect the wealthy. You pay for them, but they aren't for you. They keep us poor, too exhausted to think or vote, and too ill educated and sick to understand we have become modern peasants/ wage slaves. You want things to become equitable for everyone? You're going to have to fight, hard... To get it back. Always throw a rock into the corporate and government machinery, it is only there to enslave you.
And to be more precise... no man should EVER decide on an appropriate time frame for postpartum until they: 1- run a marathon every day for 40 weeks. 2- shove a giant football thru their ass after 2 days of horrific cramping. 3- rip and tear; need stitches, then walk around as if their organs are going to fall out for multiple weeks... 4- get put on prolactin, so they can lactate, and know what it feels like to feed a newborn every 2 hours, and keep their boobs out for a full hour every time! 5- get no sleep. Forever. I tried to go back to work after 2 weeks bc my ex was a narcissist; getting ready took me 4 hours bc I had to pump and feed. Then drop our daughter off 30 mins away.... FOR A 4 HOUR SHIFT. I could not pump there; ended up with painfully clogged ducts, and losing half my production. Took more time off for daughter, and (of course, his mommy dearest), said I was a lazy POS bc "I should be back working at 6 weeks"...
As a woman in the US, it's this s**t that makes me okay with not being able to get pregnant. I already have depression, I can't imagine having a baby and then having to go back to work even 12 weeks later. No.
Similar boat also in the US - I had my baby at 27 weeks. Quitting wasn’t an option, my baby needed me to stay insured. I was told I could take up to 12 weeks (using my saved time off and then unpaid after that ran out). I planned and was preparing to go back to work after just 3 weeks - that way I’d have 9 weeks of leave once she discharged from the hospital. She died after the second week and I returned to work the following week. My boss didn’t even acknowledge me, not my loss, nor my return to work. Just completely ignored me.
Not all Canadians want to hire Americans. Also it's 4geir home, why leave?
Load More Replies... Why don't you Americans do anything about this? You just spent trillions in Afghanistan. What about spending a little on your self?
Well, see, there's this problem called the industrial-military complex, which uses our taxes not for good things but for Wall Street profits, and I'd *love* (as a chidl of two US military veterans no less) to cut Defense/War spending to about 30% its current bazillions and make education and healthcare a priority. But t hatmakes me a "socialist". Really? I t hought it made me a patriot ----- willing to sacrifice ($$) for my nation's good.
Load More Replies... In Germany there’s something called „Mutterschutz“ which literally „protection of the mother“. Pregnant women and newly mothers are not allowed to work 6weeks prior to work and 8 weeks after giving birth. (12 weeks, if baby was born prematurely). During that time the woman is still paid, by the employer as well ad the health insurance. After that the parent usually takes something called „Elternzeit“, „parents‘ time“ which may last up to 3 years. During that time the parent is paid by the state, up to 67% of their former salary. After Elternzeit the employee needs to find a position for the parent coming back to work.
My sister was forced to pay in full, in advance, for a 23 hour stay at the hospital. This was before insurance was mandated or offered when Obama was President. She had a seizure post delivery but she and her son still had to leave the hospital at hour 23. (She also waited and waited to enter the hospital until she was very far along so she wouldn't waste her allotted time in labor only).She gave birth on a Thursday and went back to work the following Monday. She was a school teacher working with special education students, children who were often violent and had to be physically restrained. She was miserable, emotionally and physically.
"The US remains the only wealthy country on Planet Earth without a national paid parental level program." Now here's how a JOURNALIST would have written it. "The U.S. remains the only country on Planet Earth that is enlightened enough to elevate freedom over all other ideals. It does not force any company to make impossible economic choices and imperil the lives and livelihoods of all of its employees in favor of those who choose to start families. If companies have the resources to offer paid leave, they can, and probably should, do so. But it is morally and financially unacceptable for government to mandate additional financial burdens on businesses already operating on a shoestring."
Consider this: For all the troubled kids out there, including those belonging to gangs and are otherwise into criminal activity that so many like to blame "bad parenting", riddle me this Bat-fans! How is there supposed to be good or even proper parenting when both parents have to work full time and there is sh*t maternity leave? How is a proper child-parent early bonding supposed to happen?
why do people think america is a good place? with all these articles about healthcare, wages and education, it sounds like a 3rd world country thats had a makeover to disguise how crappy it actually is sure uk isnt perfect in anyway whatsoever but at least we dont have to pay thousands just to be allowed to give birth in a hospital and i think thats just the price for the ambulance, $3000 i think was the charge one woman had to pay
Ironically it’s the same country that wants to force every pregnant person to carry every pregnancy till birth, regardless of whether they can afford to look after the child or any other consideration
I am very sorry this happened, I can only imagine what she's going through. For once, I am behind this, her sharing her most vulnerable time with strangers on social media MIGHT help make awareness that the health system in USA is almost to nonexistent. The whole thing is a joke and inhumane. This is something we always talk about it but we can never know how to fix it, we being the 99% of the population in the world.
The US is so broken I fear it’s irreparable. The middle class is being cannibalized by the wealthy, people are unable to “budget” themselves out of poverty, the government does nothing to help, healthcare is a mess, I hate it.
I would have resigned. This made me so angry, where I live now you get 1 year, where I'm from you get 2, used to be 3 years.
But then you have no income and no insurance. She had no financial choice.
Load More Replies... It's easy to tell her to take those pumping breaks every 3 hours but I have worked in the medical field, you can't just drop a critical patient or stop assistance in the middle of surgery, or leave when you're monitoring 5 patients at once...especially if you're short staffed. In order to get a break there has to be someone to take over for you.
This is why many women quit their jobs when they have a baby, many can not even physically work so early and of course it's a system only designed if you have a father supporting you both. Even if that's the case we know most families need 2 incomes to survive. People need to drop saying evil America bla bla. Yes you get fqir maternity in many countries forbSALARIED jobs. Not for contract and zero hour contracts. Many things are written on paper but women are ousted out of the workplace all thr time due to giving birth, in every country.
sad, but someone has to say it : why are you having children when those are the circumstances you're forced to live with?
Because we are still humans who love and want children? We can’t change anything by NOT having kids…
Load More Replies... Wow Mewton, way to be an unsympathetic twat.
Load More Replies... Maternity leave of one year or longer is available in most other developed countries. The thing is, the "job" doesn't pay it, the government does. So nobody is actually saying what you appear to think they are saying. Although there are some employers in those countries that offer to "top up" what the government offers and provide an even better deal. They choose to do that because it increases morale and makes them an employer that people WANT to work for
Load More Replies... Only in America is an answer this stupid considered acceptable. Dozens of other countries can do it, it's not some magic puzzle. The solutions are right there if you care to look beyond your own borders.
Load More Replies...
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