Teenager Is Forced To Choose Between His Beloved Dog And His Family, He Chooses Dax The Dog
There are some incredibly difficult choices that we’ll have to make in our lives. Picking the partner we’ll spend the rest of our lives with. Choosing whom to save in a zombie apocalypse. And… deciding who’s worthy of your love more: your dog or your closest family members.
Redditor Rejc7929 shared a story with the AITA community about how their mom was forcing them to choose between the family dog, who meant everything to the teenager, and their mom’s new fiance, Anthony, who’s allergic.
To make things even more dramatic, Dax the dog used to be the redditor’s dad’s pet. After their father passed away, the redditor found comfort in Dax’s company even more than before. Have a read through the story below, dear Pandas, and share your thoughts on the situation.
A teenager shared how their mom was essentially making them choose between her and her fiance and their family dog
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rejc7929
What do you do when you’re forced to pick between your beloved dog and your mom’s new fiance? You try to make it work. But after the endless arguments, the tears, and missing your dog so much that it hurts, you know what you have to do. But it still hurts!
After the family gave Dax the dog to the teenager’s grandpa, who lives an hour away, Redditor Rejc7929 couldn’t bear to be without him. What’s more, their grandpa couldn’t physically take care of the dog. The solution was clear: the teenager moved in with their grandpa to be with him and Dax.
However, this caused even more tension in the family. The teenager pointed out that they consider their dog to be family, having been with them for 6 years, while Anthony, their mom’s fiance, hasn’t earned his stripes yet.
Reading in between the lines, Anthony doesn’t seem like a bad guy and even wants to be the teenager’s father figure. However, these changes are all happening much too fast for the teenager.
In fact, the story reads like a first draft of a wholesome Hollywood family movie where everyone eventually learns to accept one another for who they are.
Rejc7929, however, needed to know whether they were in the right or in the wrong, so they posted their story on the AITA community on Reddit which hands out judgment on who was to blame. Overwhelmingly, the other redditors saw the teenager as having done nothing wrong. They respected their choice.
We’re just hoping that there comes a time where everyone can be happy together and the rift in the family, between mother and child, is healed. The core issue seems to be Anthony’s allergy and there are ways to either lessen it or make it go away completely with immunotherapy.
Here’s how some of the members of the Reddit community reacted to the story and what their verdicts were
What’s your verdict, Pandas? Who do you think was in the wrong? Would you choose your dog over, essentially, your own mom? What do you think will happen next? Let us know what you think in the comment section below.
I am 73, but I would have done the same you did.. I think you are right.. enjoy living with Dax and your grandfather, it will be a precious time to look back too when you are older, and maybe have children of your own. a dog is not a thing you throw away, he has feelings as well as humans.. and he loves you.. that is worth a lot..
I can’t believe what I’m reading. An eerily similar thing happened to me when I was 19. I was able to move out with my dog. My heart goes out to him because it really affects the dynamic of the relationship
My cousin and her dog were kicked out by her mother during her junior year of HS. All three went to stay with her grandma, and it was the best thing ever for all of them, grandparents included.
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If grandpa is getting where he can't handle a dog, he could probably use some household help anyway. I think the grandpa is a gem for agreeing to take on the dog and if the 17 yr old wants to live with him, I think that this could be good for all round.
I chose my cats over my abusive family, I see my cats as my family not my human blood sharers
I don't have an abusive family, far from it, but I often wonder what would happen if were forced to choose between them and my animals. My animals are my family (I'm divorced with no kids) and I would give up my life for them.
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Getting rid of your kid's pet because you have a new bf you want to move in is a d**k move. His Dad has only been dead two years. The son made the best of a bad situation - he's caring for his dog, attending school via zoom, and living with a grandparent, who it sounds like could really benefit from having the help and care. He is also avoiding what sounds like a toxic and disrespectful dynamic with the Mom and BF. OP, you are not the asshole. You are becoming a man, and making decisions that are not easy. You are still grieving for your Dad. Speak respectfully to your Mom, and her BF, but set boundries, and stand your ground. It's okay to be sad and angry. The situation sucks. Love your dog. Love your Grandfather, Cry if you need to.
I was just typing something like this and saw your comment. Amen, Deborah! Nothing infuriates me more than parents who don't realize raising your child is your Only Job, not worrying about your sex life and codependent BS.
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Only two years since his dad died and his mum lets someone else talk about being his new dad? Mum and her boyfriend sound pretty heartless to me. Fair enough, have a new man if you met the right guy, but don't force him into a grieving child's life.
Pets over humans ALWAYS. Especially when the humans are being real pieces of s**t.
What his mom its doing its horrible and I can't understand why she is acting like this. Don't get me wrong, I am also a mum, single and I would like to have a partner...but I will never going to put a man above my child or my 2 cats...Animal love is unconditional and forever...and even my teennager kid is sometimes a pain in my neck, I don't have no doubts about my choices...if you want to come in you have to accept the household(take some medication for alergies). I am sorry that maybe I am sounding too harsh but that's my feelings about this kind of situation! I know I know...I am going to be single and die alone...
Hmm never heard of antihistamines? Your mother is not seeing clearly here obviously your father's demise affected her, but she's not making good decisions. Your grandfather is. But when she gets rid of Anthony because he is definitely an A, she may need more compassion than she was able to give you. All the best to you with grandpa and Dax.
Pardon this 'Old Fart' ignorance, but what in the "you know what" does that "NTA" acronym stand for?
It's stands for "Not the Asshole" BP's censor might block that. It's a Reddit where people post the somewhat questionable decisions they've made, and others tell them if they think the decision was moral. The NTA means that these people are all siding with the kid.
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Definitely NTA. Glad you found a way to make it work and moved to your grandpa. But is it wrong to have a little sympathy for the mom too? It could have been intolerable situation to her too, after all she lost her husband not so long ago, and even families with two parents have struggled to keep their homes and have food on the table over the covid-19 year. Not right from her to try to force the situation nor to be mad about her son's choise, but also she might have been in a really tough situation herself.
As An Owner Of 3 Dogs, I can Agree that dogs can really help in a tough time. My Dogs are always here for me. My biggest dog(spike) was there when I was failing school and every day he sits and protects me when I am at school. My only female dog(Kira) Always licks my tears when I'm sad and gives the best snuggles. My Oldest dog(i think) (brooks), He protects me from Anything, A butterfly flew too close to the window, BARK, A dog is across the street, BARK, A car enters the cul-de-sac, BARK. I can see where the boy was coming from and I do not blame him.(also to whoever's reading this, Have a great day and Kira says hi)
Brooks is a good pup. Butterflies may look innocent but can turn into bloodthirsty, flying, deathbugs given half the chance.
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no, your not a jerk, you moms the jerk in his story, because if you graduate, that essentially means your an adult. go be free!
Mom is obviously not thinking with her “upper” brain. I understand about loneliness, but you can’t completely upend your existing family just to keep from sleeping alone. Besides, the son is 17 and graduating high school in a couple months. Then he’ll either go to work, join the military, or go to college, and be moving out anyway. Why couldn’t Mom take that into consideration and just wait a few months or a year to move Anthony in? Might be a good test of the health of their relationship. If Anthony completely understands, then cool. If not, then he has other motives for wanting to speed things up, and I would be very wary of letting him live in my house. Then again, coming to that conclusion takes critical thinking skills—-which are not located in the “lower brain”.
Wow, so many despicable attitudes shown in such a short summary. The OP seems to be a very nice teenager cursed with a challenged mother and a to-be-stepdad with a lack of empathy. All things notwithstanding, shaming your own, not-even grown-up children ("lousy son") in a guilt-tripping fashion is a deed beyond excuse. Good that he left that toxic environment.
He def deserves that dog I wouldn't speak to my mum if she did that to me, congrats on graduating
Haven’t the adults ever heard of allery shots. If the fiancé refuses then I’d boot his a**e. If he really wants to join and love this family it’s the least he can do.
No, your dog is more than 'an animal' He's been your lifeline and your support. The issues you face with potential step parent are separate from this. But obviously the mother deserves to have her life too and you can't expect someone with a severe allergy to live with something that will make them ill. But if everyone was reasonable and willing to take time, wait, understand then a solution will be found. The problem is that his won't happen - the being resonable I mean..
I hate to be horribly cynical, but ten units of currency says the guy isn't really allergic. I've seen that trick a couple times as a "test" of what the person will do for the significant other. then turns out htey're not allergic
I am starting to think about that myself. If he truly had allergies, he would wait for a time for the kid to go to college or whatever and then move in. He is just trying to cause problems between mother and child.
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100% NTA!! As someone who's mom married a complete jerk at 11 and put me through years of hell and abuse, you made the right call. I was a step-dad and never ever asked them to call me dad. I always told them they could call me whatever they want. Today, they still call me Dad even though they are grown and gone
Nah, the situation just sucks. The mother is with this new guy and I am guessing it is a huge emotional support for her after losing her husband. The new guy seems to want to create a supportive environment but you don't really need to develop that bond with a person who is pretty much and adult. Don't need to be his dad, just be respectful and friendly. Kid himself is at that age to move out anyway. They have been through a lot and that dog is far more important to him mentally and emotionally as Anthony is for his mom, probably more. It would be too traumatic for him to get rid of the dog and it would cause a rift between him and Anthony that would never be able to be mended. Moving in with his grandfather is a perfect solution. He is close to his mother, give his mother and Anthony space in their new relationship, kid keeps his dog and honestly a new space might help him emotionally too, give space and distance and will probably have the best result between him and Anthony.
1. Anthony is a bad step dad I have a step dad and love him 2. why would the mom do that like why would she try to kick the dog out if it had helped her son deal with the lost of his dad.
What kind of person has the heart to send a dog back to the shelter? I would never be able to do that. You are not a jerk for moving to be with your dog, I would've done the same.
I can't believe his mother is mad at him and not talking to him. She sounds like a selfish mother. I think he made the right decision to move in with his grandfather and take care of his best friend.
Your mom seems like a pretty big, unemphatic asshole.. Definetely NTA. I would have chosen my dog also. I had a narcissitic dad and a wonderful dog. Sadly he diednwhen I was 19. I'm now 37 and always had dogs. They are part of the family.
As a mum and a dog owner I think the mum is being utterly selfish. Can’t the fiancé take antihistamines or work out a living arrangement where the dog/son’s area is self contained or something? She’s causing even more trauma for all of them. Perhaps the way things have worked out everyone can be happy, the son shouldn’t feel guilty for standing by his dog, who is after all a family member too.
i'd go with doggo too, so whos gonna go with dog and not mom
Why isn’t anyone questioning if the “new dad” is lying about his allergies? Hmmmm.
I’m just glad he had somewhere else to go. I’m sure his grandpa will appreciate his company too.
The mom is probably worried about being alone once her nearly-adult son moves away and is eager to move to the next step in her relationship with her new partner. However, forcing a grieving teenager to get rid of his pet is just cruel. She has forever fractured her relationship with her son.
I can't believe this mom and her fiance! 1, how can you make someone get rid of their pet, that's just awful. 2, Anthony shouldn't just try to replace his dad, that's also awful.
He is a strong man who unlike many, understands his needs and is willing to make a path for himself. He is strong and with the help of supportive family members is becoming even stronger. Those family members include Dax. The young man is so very lucky to have that close, unconditional love. His mother is looking to deal with her own loneliness, but trying to force a new authority figure on him is unfair. She doesn't need to choose between her son's happiness and her own, both can be happy and her son has shown her how this can happen.
NTA. Who does this to their children? I mean, the teen specifically told his mom that he did not approve of the new father, which in some cases can lead to abuse or neglect. Second, his mother seems like a massive Karen. Please don't downvote, but upvote if you agree. >:(
Wow, I can’t believe a parent could do that to their child. I hope the OP has a wonderful time living with his grandpa, and I bet his grandpa will love having both the dog and his grandson there.
Why not just get allergy shots. If this fiancé really wants to join and love this family it should be a no brainer. If he refuses mom should kick him to the curb.
I don't understand why your mom is doing that but parents are also just people who also make mistakes or want to cover up for their loss or loneliness in not healthy way for everyone. And dog can be also just something reminding her of what she lost, and she can't understand why for you it's different. But you're not kid anymore, you did right thing for yourself, try to be helpful to your grandpa and do your best, I would do the same.
Right now things are better for every one. The teenager can feel like he is with someone who cares about him which is his grandfather who he can help in return. He can provide the love and security for his dog at the same time. As far as his mother is concerned she did not give them time to establish a relationship, just because her fiancee was her choice doesn't mean it was her son's choice. He will be 18 soon and he will be able to make his own choice. Hoping this works out and everyone gets what they need and want.
NTA for sure. Your mom and Anthony can't just do that. They obviously thought Dax was "just a dog" or something else stupid. No dog is "just a dog". And obviously Dax was extremely special to you. If this happened to me, I would have done the same thing. If your mom still keeps saying that you're lousy, then just block her number or something. Don't answer her when she calls. And there is no way she can make Anthony be your new dad if you're not living there.
my dad had a big ol' english mastiff named Dax. dad joked his full name was Daximus (pronounced like Maximus with a 'D' in place of the 'M') my half-brother and i were really little at the time so when that dog sat down, we were the same height. my hb would get pushed around every time that dog wagged his tail. i still miss that gentle giant.
No. You're in the right all the way. Adopting an animal, even if your Dad did so, leaves you responsible for said animal's wellbeing. Also, being allergic nowadays merely is a matter of if you're bothered by swallowing a pill each day. No reason for that. If he doesn't even wanna try that, without any valid reason, deciding Dax would have to leave shouldn't even be on the table in the first place. Reads like this wasn't brought up...
I think that dude is completely correct. Apparently the dog was his dad’s, one to be considered “last thing remaining of him” then that little... just wants to take something that was from someone that died, that means a lot to you?? This woman is crazy! Also, sometimes, (I think they’re called step father) stepfathers don’t treat people as they should. So, if his intentions were to make u suffer, with the loss of ur dad, loss of ur dog, just as an excuse to get rid of something that was important to you, possibly make u suffer?? Leaving that goddamn house was the best thing you could’ve possibly done!
Would be good to hear the mother's side of the story. Nobody is the villain in his own story.
I'm so mad at the mom that I wrote angry comments twice, edited them, and finally deleted them. So for my third and final comment, I just want to focus on the son (OP) and Dax and say this: Don't torture yourself over your decision to move in with your grandpa. The way I see it, he needs you around the house, and you and Dax needed somewhere to stay. You've made the best out of a bad situation. That's a win-win solution for all parties involved! You did good! Take this as a lesson as you are nearing adulthood. I'm afraid you will have to make tough decisions like this for the rest of your life. And in this kind of decision, something's gotta give, always. So please make sure you put your well-being first, don't give yourself away. I wish you, Dax, and grandpa all the very, very best.
You did exactly the right thing. Your mom is controlling you with zero thought about HOW YOU FEEL. That is narcissistic.
His mother is a terrible person but he is a wonderful boy. Best of luck to him and his new life.
I hope he helps around house and garden and with the shopping so that grandpa benefits as well! Surely the old man is not happy about this rift in the family, either... I think mom is not over the loss of her husband yet and would do anything to make it work with her new partner. Hopefully, she will come to her senses soon and apologise to son and dog. Maybe she is still hurting very much inside and that makes her act so selfish, therefore, her son should still treat her kindly - but not give in about his dog! In addition, maybe Anthony really wants to make the best of the situation but does not know how. You cannot barge in on a nearly grown up boy and tell him you're his new dad because you are not. You may be his mother's new husband but you are still "the new guy", however uncomfortable that feels. All three of them should sit down quietly and think some time about how the other two feel and what causes their actions. This could be really enlightening for all of them.
My mom did this same thing, except she never told me until I came home from school one day and both my cats and my dog were gone. Never even got to say goodbye. That was not a memory I really wanted to relive today.
The mother is not an animal lover....this old hag and his good for nothing idiot boyfriend should be the one to move out of the house....PRONTO....
He is definitely NTA. His father died two years ago and mom is already moving on with her new man. That's just despicable. Also Anthony needs to honor what this young man said and stop trying to be his new dad. I think that he made the right decision by moving in with his grandpa. Not just to be with the dog, but now he look out for his grandpa as well. If Anthony's allergies are this bad maybe they shouldn't be moving in with each other just yet.
You did a right thing i'm a dog person also and if the dog is you "comfort blanket" keep it your mom can't just do things without your consent. Plus your almost graduating so you kinda can make your own choices. So what you did by living with your grandpa was the right thing. I'm sorry about you losing your dad man. Stay Strong!
Seriously f**k people who think kids have no say in whose going to be in their new life. Do you know how uncomfortable that is to them and how much it screws up their development? I'm not even biased, I'd have loved for my Ma to be dating again.
Sometimes the best families are the ones you choose. And choosing Dax was the best decision.
Absolutely not NTA. That mom is a total c**t and lost her kid forever. Good on this kid for sticking up for himself and his dog. I already know this fiancé won't work out. The mom is replacing and avoiding things; those things will come back to bite her in the ass
You are a fine young man and you will become a good man. Grandpa and Dax will accompany you on your journey. Love from Qc.
Def NTA... first off damn your mom moved on rather quickly. Not sure if I could do that, but be that as it may, She can not force HER timeline on you. I think everyone involved needs counseling. If this is a rebound, it'll fizzle. If not then hopefully Anthony is a good guy and in time you can grow closer to him because he makes your mom happy. But outside of that, this is YOUR timeline. That dog is the last thing you have to be close to your dad so you are fine. You are NOT a lousy child. As a mother, I understand her hurt, but ALSO as a mother, I would tell Anthony, here's some benadryl. Dax is absolutely not going anywhere. Plus he knew about him before the relationship anyhow.
What a wanker could've gotten some proper pet as a replacement later
Why? What could mom add to this story? What could she say that would make her behavior excusable?
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I am 73, but I would have done the same you did.. I think you are right.. enjoy living with Dax and your grandfather, it will be a precious time to look back too when you are older, and maybe have children of your own. a dog is not a thing you throw away, he has feelings as well as humans.. and he loves you.. that is worth a lot..
I can’t believe what I’m reading. An eerily similar thing happened to me when I was 19. I was able to move out with my dog. My heart goes out to him because it really affects the dynamic of the relationship
My cousin and her dog were kicked out by her mother during her junior year of HS. All three went to stay with her grandma, and it was the best thing ever for all of them, grandparents included.
Load More Replies... If grandpa is getting where he can't handle a dog, he could probably use some household help anyway. I think the grandpa is a gem for agreeing to take on the dog and if the 17 yr old wants to live with him, I think that this could be good for all round.
I chose my cats over my abusive family, I see my cats as my family not my human blood sharers
I don't have an abusive family, far from it, but I often wonder what would happen if were forced to choose between them and my animals. My animals are my family (I'm divorced with no kids) and I would give up my life for them.
Load More Replies... Getting rid of your kid's pet because you have a new bf you want to move in is a d**k move. His Dad has only been dead two years. The son made the best of a bad situation - he's caring for his dog, attending school via zoom, and living with a grandparent, who it sounds like could really benefit from having the help and care. He is also avoiding what sounds like a toxic and disrespectful dynamic with the Mom and BF. OP, you are not the asshole. You are becoming a man, and making decisions that are not easy. You are still grieving for your Dad. Speak respectfully to your Mom, and her BF, but set boundries, and stand your ground. It's okay to be sad and angry. The situation sucks. Love your dog. Love your Grandfather, Cry if you need to.
I was just typing something like this and saw your comment. Amen, Deborah! Nothing infuriates me more than parents who don't realize raising your child is your Only Job, not worrying about your sex life and codependent BS.
Load More Replies... Only two years since his dad died and his mum lets someone else talk about being his new dad? Mum and her boyfriend sound pretty heartless to me. Fair enough, have a new man if you met the right guy, but don't force him into a grieving child's life.
Pets over humans ALWAYS. Especially when the humans are being real pieces of s**t.
What his mom its doing its horrible and I can't understand why she is acting like this. Don't get me wrong, I am also a mum, single and I would like to have a partner...but I will never going to put a man above my child or my 2 cats...Animal love is unconditional and forever...and even my teennager kid is sometimes a pain in my neck, I don't have no doubts about my choices...if you want to come in you have to accept the household(take some medication for alergies). I am sorry that maybe I am sounding too harsh but that's my feelings about this kind of situation! I know I know...I am going to be single and die alone...
Hmm never heard of antihistamines? Your mother is not seeing clearly here obviously your father's demise affected her, but she's not making good decisions. Your grandfather is. But when she gets rid of Anthony because he is definitely an A, she may need more compassion than she was able to give you. All the best to you with grandpa and Dax.
Pardon this 'Old Fart' ignorance, but what in the "you know what" does that "NTA" acronym stand for?
It's stands for "Not the Asshole" BP's censor might block that. It's a Reddit where people post the somewhat questionable decisions they've made, and others tell them if they think the decision was moral. The NTA means that these people are all siding with the kid.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA. Glad you found a way to make it work and moved to your grandpa. But is it wrong to have a little sympathy for the mom too? It could have been intolerable situation to her too, after all she lost her husband not so long ago, and even families with two parents have struggled to keep their homes and have food on the table over the covid-19 year. Not right from her to try to force the situation nor to be mad about her son's choise, but also she might have been in a really tough situation herself.
As An Owner Of 3 Dogs, I can Agree that dogs can really help in a tough time. My Dogs are always here for me. My biggest dog(spike) was there when I was failing school and every day he sits and protects me when I am at school. My only female dog(Kira) Always licks my tears when I'm sad and gives the best snuggles. My Oldest dog(i think) (brooks), He protects me from Anything, A butterfly flew too close to the window, BARK, A dog is across the street, BARK, A car enters the cul-de-sac, BARK. I can see where the boy was coming from and I do not blame him.(also to whoever's reading this, Have a great day and Kira says hi)
Brooks is a good pup. Butterflies may look innocent but can turn into bloodthirsty, flying, deathbugs given half the chance.
Load More Replies... no, your not a jerk, you moms the jerk in his story, because if you graduate, that essentially means your an adult. go be free!
Mom is obviously not thinking with her “upper” brain. I understand about loneliness, but you can’t completely upend your existing family just to keep from sleeping alone. Besides, the son is 17 and graduating high school in a couple months. Then he’ll either go to work, join the military, or go to college, and be moving out anyway. Why couldn’t Mom take that into consideration and just wait a few months or a year to move Anthony in? Might be a good test of the health of their relationship. If Anthony completely understands, then cool. If not, then he has other motives for wanting to speed things up, and I would be very wary of letting him live in my house. Then again, coming to that conclusion takes critical thinking skills—-which are not located in the “lower brain”.
Wow, so many despicable attitudes shown in such a short summary. The OP seems to be a very nice teenager cursed with a challenged mother and a to-be-stepdad with a lack of empathy. All things notwithstanding, shaming your own, not-even grown-up children ("lousy son") in a guilt-tripping fashion is a deed beyond excuse. Good that he left that toxic environment.
He def deserves that dog I wouldn't speak to my mum if she did that to me, congrats on graduating
Haven’t the adults ever heard of allery shots. If the fiancé refuses then I’d boot his a**e. If he really wants to join and love this family it’s the least he can do.
No, your dog is more than 'an animal' He's been your lifeline and your support. The issues you face with potential step parent are separate from this. But obviously the mother deserves to have her life too and you can't expect someone with a severe allergy to live with something that will make them ill. But if everyone was reasonable and willing to take time, wait, understand then a solution will be found. The problem is that his won't happen - the being resonable I mean..
I hate to be horribly cynical, but ten units of currency says the guy isn't really allergic. I've seen that trick a couple times as a "test" of what the person will do for the significant other. then turns out htey're not allergic
I am starting to think about that myself. If he truly had allergies, he would wait for a time for the kid to go to college or whatever and then move in. He is just trying to cause problems between mother and child.
Load More Replies... 100% NTA!! As someone who's mom married a complete jerk at 11 and put me through years of hell and abuse, you made the right call. I was a step-dad and never ever asked them to call me dad. I always told them they could call me whatever they want. Today, they still call me Dad even though they are grown and gone
Nah, the situation just sucks. The mother is with this new guy and I am guessing it is a huge emotional support for her after losing her husband. The new guy seems to want to create a supportive environment but you don't really need to develop that bond with a person who is pretty much and adult. Don't need to be his dad, just be respectful and friendly. Kid himself is at that age to move out anyway. They have been through a lot and that dog is far more important to him mentally and emotionally as Anthony is for his mom, probably more. It would be too traumatic for him to get rid of the dog and it would cause a rift between him and Anthony that would never be able to be mended. Moving in with his grandfather is a perfect solution. He is close to his mother, give his mother and Anthony space in their new relationship, kid keeps his dog and honestly a new space might help him emotionally too, give space and distance and will probably have the best result between him and Anthony.
1. Anthony is a bad step dad I have a step dad and love him 2. why would the mom do that like why would she try to kick the dog out if it had helped her son deal with the lost of his dad.
What kind of person has the heart to send a dog back to the shelter? I would never be able to do that. You are not a jerk for moving to be with your dog, I would've done the same.
I can't believe his mother is mad at him and not talking to him. She sounds like a selfish mother. I think he made the right decision to move in with his grandfather and take care of his best friend.
Your mom seems like a pretty big, unemphatic asshole.. Definetely NTA. I would have chosen my dog also. I had a narcissitic dad and a wonderful dog. Sadly he diednwhen I was 19. I'm now 37 and always had dogs. They are part of the family.
As a mum and a dog owner I think the mum is being utterly selfish. Can’t the fiancé take antihistamines or work out a living arrangement where the dog/son’s area is self contained or something? She’s causing even more trauma for all of them. Perhaps the way things have worked out everyone can be happy, the son shouldn’t feel guilty for standing by his dog, who is after all a family member too.
i'd go with doggo too, so whos gonna go with dog and not mom
Why isn’t anyone questioning if the “new dad” is lying about his allergies? Hmmmm.
I’m just glad he had somewhere else to go. I’m sure his grandpa will appreciate his company too.
The mom is probably worried about being alone once her nearly-adult son moves away and is eager to move to the next step in her relationship with her new partner. However, forcing a grieving teenager to get rid of his pet is just cruel. She has forever fractured her relationship with her son.
I can't believe this mom and her fiance! 1, how can you make someone get rid of their pet, that's just awful. 2, Anthony shouldn't just try to replace his dad, that's also awful.
He is a strong man who unlike many, understands his needs and is willing to make a path for himself. He is strong and with the help of supportive family members is becoming even stronger. Those family members include Dax. The young man is so very lucky to have that close, unconditional love. His mother is looking to deal with her own loneliness, but trying to force a new authority figure on him is unfair. She doesn't need to choose between her son's happiness and her own, both can be happy and her son has shown her how this can happen.
NTA. Who does this to their children? I mean, the teen specifically told his mom that he did not approve of the new father, which in some cases can lead to abuse or neglect. Second, his mother seems like a massive Karen. Please don't downvote, but upvote if you agree. >:(
Wow, I can’t believe a parent could do that to their child. I hope the OP has a wonderful time living with his grandpa, and I bet his grandpa will love having both the dog and his grandson there.
Why not just get allergy shots. If this fiancé really wants to join and love this family it should be a no brainer. If he refuses mom should kick him to the curb.
I don't understand why your mom is doing that but parents are also just people who also make mistakes or want to cover up for their loss or loneliness in not healthy way for everyone. And dog can be also just something reminding her of what she lost, and she can't understand why for you it's different. But you're not kid anymore, you did right thing for yourself, try to be helpful to your grandpa and do your best, I would do the same.
Right now things are better for every one. The teenager can feel like he is with someone who cares about him which is his grandfather who he can help in return. He can provide the love and security for his dog at the same time. As far as his mother is concerned she did not give them time to establish a relationship, just because her fiancee was her choice doesn't mean it was her son's choice. He will be 18 soon and he will be able to make his own choice. Hoping this works out and everyone gets what they need and want.
NTA for sure. Your mom and Anthony can't just do that. They obviously thought Dax was "just a dog" or something else stupid. No dog is "just a dog". And obviously Dax was extremely special to you. If this happened to me, I would have done the same thing. If your mom still keeps saying that you're lousy, then just block her number or something. Don't answer her when she calls. And there is no way she can make Anthony be your new dad if you're not living there.
my dad had a big ol' english mastiff named Dax. dad joked his full name was Daximus (pronounced like Maximus with a 'D' in place of the 'M') my half-brother and i were really little at the time so when that dog sat down, we were the same height. my hb would get pushed around every time that dog wagged his tail. i still miss that gentle giant.
No. You're in the right all the way. Adopting an animal, even if your Dad did so, leaves you responsible for said animal's wellbeing. Also, being allergic nowadays merely is a matter of if you're bothered by swallowing a pill each day. No reason for that. If he doesn't even wanna try that, without any valid reason, deciding Dax would have to leave shouldn't even be on the table in the first place. Reads like this wasn't brought up...
I think that dude is completely correct. Apparently the dog was his dad’s, one to be considered “last thing remaining of him” then that little... just wants to take something that was from someone that died, that means a lot to you?? This woman is crazy! Also, sometimes, (I think they’re called step father) stepfathers don’t treat people as they should. So, if his intentions were to make u suffer, with the loss of ur dad, loss of ur dog, just as an excuse to get rid of something that was important to you, possibly make u suffer?? Leaving that goddamn house was the best thing you could’ve possibly done!
Would be good to hear the mother's side of the story. Nobody is the villain in his own story.
I'm so mad at the mom that I wrote angry comments twice, edited them, and finally deleted them. So for my third and final comment, I just want to focus on the son (OP) and Dax and say this: Don't torture yourself over your decision to move in with your grandpa. The way I see it, he needs you around the house, and you and Dax needed somewhere to stay. You've made the best out of a bad situation. That's a win-win solution for all parties involved! You did good! Take this as a lesson as you are nearing adulthood. I'm afraid you will have to make tough decisions like this for the rest of your life. And in this kind of decision, something's gotta give, always. So please make sure you put your well-being first, don't give yourself away. I wish you, Dax, and grandpa all the very, very best.
You did exactly the right thing. Your mom is controlling you with zero thought about HOW YOU FEEL. That is narcissistic.
His mother is a terrible person but he is a wonderful boy. Best of luck to him and his new life.
I hope he helps around house and garden and with the shopping so that grandpa benefits as well! Surely the old man is not happy about this rift in the family, either... I think mom is not over the loss of her husband yet and would do anything to make it work with her new partner. Hopefully, she will come to her senses soon and apologise to son and dog. Maybe she is still hurting very much inside and that makes her act so selfish, therefore, her son should still treat her kindly - but not give in about his dog! In addition, maybe Anthony really wants to make the best of the situation but does not know how. You cannot barge in on a nearly grown up boy and tell him you're his new dad because you are not. You may be his mother's new husband but you are still "the new guy", however uncomfortable that feels. All three of them should sit down quietly and think some time about how the other two feel and what causes their actions. This could be really enlightening for all of them.
My mom did this same thing, except she never told me until I came home from school one day and both my cats and my dog were gone. Never even got to say goodbye. That was not a memory I really wanted to relive today.
The mother is not an animal lover....this old hag and his good for nothing idiot boyfriend should be the one to move out of the house....PRONTO....
He is definitely NTA. His father died two years ago and mom is already moving on with her new man. That's just despicable. Also Anthony needs to honor what this young man said and stop trying to be his new dad. I think that he made the right decision by moving in with his grandpa. Not just to be with the dog, but now he look out for his grandpa as well. If Anthony's allergies are this bad maybe they shouldn't be moving in with each other just yet.
You did a right thing i'm a dog person also and if the dog is you "comfort blanket" keep it your mom can't just do things without your consent. Plus your almost graduating so you kinda can make your own choices. So what you did by living with your grandpa was the right thing. I'm sorry about you losing your dad man. Stay Strong!
Seriously f**k people who think kids have no say in whose going to be in their new life. Do you know how uncomfortable that is to them and how much it screws up their development? I'm not even biased, I'd have loved for my Ma to be dating again.
Sometimes the best families are the ones you choose. And choosing Dax was the best decision.
Absolutely not NTA. That mom is a total c**t and lost her kid forever. Good on this kid for sticking up for himself and his dog. I already know this fiancé won't work out. The mom is replacing and avoiding things; those things will come back to bite her in the ass
You are a fine young man and you will become a good man. Grandpa and Dax will accompany you on your journey. Love from Qc.
Def NTA... first off damn your mom moved on rather quickly. Not sure if I could do that, but be that as it may, She can not force HER timeline on you. I think everyone involved needs counseling. If this is a rebound, it'll fizzle. If not then hopefully Anthony is a good guy and in time you can grow closer to him because he makes your mom happy. But outside of that, this is YOUR timeline. That dog is the last thing you have to be close to your dad so you are fine. You are NOT a lousy child. As a mother, I understand her hurt, but ALSO as a mother, I would tell Anthony, here's some benadryl. Dax is absolutely not going anywhere. Plus he knew about him before the relationship anyhow.
What a wanker could've gotten some proper pet as a replacement later
Why? What could mom add to this story? What could she say that would make her behavior excusable?
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