Being a new mother is no easy task, and it’s clear that they need and deserve all the support they can get. However, sometimes their expectations can be a bit unrealistic, especially when it comes to older siblings helping out with a newborn. 

In a moment of frustration, one new mom sought advice online about her 14-year-old daughter’s reluctance to lend a hand with household chores. She expressed her feelings of embarrassment and disappointment over her daughter’s behavior, particularly when she avoids her during breastfeeding. Keep reading to discover how she navigates this challenging situation.

New mothers face numerous challenges in the early days of motherhood

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

One overwhelmed mom opened up about her struggles with a newborn and how her teenage daughter refuses to help around the house

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

Image source: the3e7s

Regardless of whether it’s your second or third child, nothing truly prepares parents for the challenges and changes that come with expanding the family

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

As a parent, you might think that having a child prepares you for the journey ahead. When you’re expecting your second, it feels like you’ve got things figured out. You’ve already got your diaper bag stocked with the essentials, and you know exactly how many diapers to pack for the first month. 

You feel more confident because you’ve done it before. But here’s the thing: while you may be more experienced, each child is still unique, and every new baby brings its own set of challenges and surprises.

No matter how many children you have, the experience of becoming a parent is always a new and wonderful adventure. Even if you feel more prepared with the second, third, or beyond, there will always be new lessons to learn along the way.

Especially for new moms, even if you feel like you’ve got everything under control with your second child, anxiety might still creep in. The pressure to be a perfect parent can be overwhelming, and you might worry about being able to juggle the needs of both your newborn and your older child.

It’s normal to feel a bit anxious, but remember that it’s okay to ask for help, take breaks, and even have moments where you don’t have it all together. The reality is, no one does.

Postpartum depression is more common than many people realize. According to research, it affects a significant number of women after childbirth, regardless of whether it’s their first or subsequent child.

Even if you felt perfectly fine after your first, you may still experience changes in mood or emotional struggles during your second postpartum period. Your body has gone through a lot of changes again, and it’s important to acknowledge that those feelings are valid. 

The firstborn needs attention and guidance to navigate their emotions when a new sibling arrives

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

But here’s the thing: it’s not just the new baby who might need extra care and attention. The first child also goes through emotional changes when a new sibling is introduced into the family.

While they might feel excited about the new arrival, they could also experience feelings of sadness, confusion, or jealousy. They might struggle with the idea of sharing attention, love, and time that they used to have all to themselves. It’s important to validate those feelings and help them navigate through this transition.

As a parent, it’s crucial to recognize that the first child might be feeling a little unsure about their new role. They could perceive that the love and attention they once received is now being divided, and they might not be sure how to handle that.

It’s normal for children to feel a bit conflicted about the arrival of a sibling, and their emotional well-being is just as important as the baby’s. By acknowledging their feelings, you can help them feel heard and loved, ensuring they don’t feel left out or neglected during this time of change.

While it’s wonderful to get your older child involved in helping with the new baby, it’s important to strike a balance. Asking your first child to help in small ways can make them feel included and important, but don’t expect them to take on too much responsibility. They’re still a child and shouldn’t be burdened with tasks they’re not emotionally ready for. 

In this particular incident, the mom expected her teen daughter to help more than she was emotionally prepared for, without taking into account how the older child was feeling. It’s a reminder that even as parents, we must remember that communication is key to helping our children adapt. What are your thoughts on balancing responsibilities with the first child during this transitional period? Have you had similar experiences? Share your thoughts below!

Many online felt the author had unrealistic expectations and should prioritize helping her 14-year-old adjust to the new baby

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