Mom Wonders If She Overreacted For Being Mad At Her Sister Who Doesn’t Use Baby Talk With Her 3-Year-Old
Sometimes parents have specific preferences of how they want their children to be raised. They might not let them eat candy or have too much screen time, etc. Everything goes fine until they have to leave the child for someone else to babysit. Grandparents often like to spoil their grandchildren and parents might get annoyed by that.
One mom got annoyed that her sister doesn’t use baby talk when she talks with her niece. What bugged her the most was that she did that with her cats. She asked the internet if she was wrong for getting mad at her sister for it. Reddit’s verdict was that she had no right to demand such a thing and should apologize for being ridiculous.
More info: Reddit
This mom went to the internet to find out if she was unreasonable to get mad at her sister for not using baby talk with her daughter
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is a 28-year-old mom who has an older sister who comes to look after her daughter, who is about 3 years old, from time to time. She tries to not call her if she has any other options as the sister isn’t really a kid person, but knows she can trust her as she still loves her niece.
You would think that this is very considerate of the mom to not default to a family member who is not good with kids to take care of her daughter for a while, but she has a concern.
The OP’s sister babysits her 3-year-old niece from time to time and is the emergency person she goes to
Image credits: throwawaybabysister
The mom is annoyed that her sister doesn’t talk with her niece in baby talk. She speaks to her niece as if she was talking to an adult. What bothers the OP even more is that when she confronted her sister about this, she answered that she just treats the child like a person, implying that baby talk is stupid.
The mom then pointed out that her sister talks with her cats in baby talk, so she can do it, but the sister’s argument was that the cats are not learning how to speak, so this isn’t comparable.
But the mom is annoyed that her sister always talks to her daughter in adult speech
Image credits: throwawaybabysister
The OP feels that her sister loves her cats more than her niece because she doesn’t show affection in her voice to the child like she does to her cats. The sister disagrees and can’t see where the problem is.
The dad doesn’t seem to have an issue with that as he wanted his wife to step back and not escalate the conflict, because at least the sister is willing to be called in for emergencies.
Image credits: throwawaybabysister
She feels she doesn’t love her niece as much because she is able to use baby talk with her cats
Image credits: throwawaybabysister
So the OP asked the internet if she was being unreasonable for getting mad over this one thing. Most of the redditors who read the story agreed that the mom was in the wrong and claimed that speaking to the child in a normal way is more beneficial to them anyway.
It is not actually quite clear which baby talk the mother is referring to—the one where parents just talk gibberish or just when parents talk in a high-pitched voice, because research quite clearly shows that speaking words that have no meaning or grammatical structure is not beneficial to a child’s development. However, researchers still say that in order for the babies to be engaged in the act of communication, parents should maintain a high-pitched voice and a more exaggerated intonation while talking slowly and clearly with correct grammar and real words.
The husband thinks this isn’t an issue worth fighting but the mom has her doubts
Image credits: throwawaybabysister
Parents shouldn’t be afraid that their children won’t understand them because they won’t understand the gibberish speech either; however, letting them live in an environment of proper speech will allow them to catch on to the language more easily and will help them with their development.
We are interested in what you think about this story and about the topic of talking with toddlers as if they were adults. Do you agree with the redditors who condemned the OP to be the jerk in the situation or do you feel like she can be excused? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Most of other redditors agreed with the sister and found the mom to be in the wrong here
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OP's child is 3 and apparently doesn't know how to talk. Most 3 yr olds I've met never shut up. Maybe baby talk discourages kids from talking? For example, when I baby talk my son he gives me the stink eye and walks away. To be fair, he's 17.
Poor widdel boi. Sorry, should have said boysiekins
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Maybe you shouldn't talk about tax reform or the impact of subconscious biases on career opportunities until she's 5 but for the rest: NO baby talk.
To be fair, it would be hilarious to hear those topics parroted at the parents when you return the child to their care!!
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I never spoke to my nieces and nephews in baby talk. The older ones tell me that they love that I have always treated them like people and not babies. A five year old can have a conversation, maybe not about adult things, but there is no reason that we can't talk about what to have for lunch without using words like "nuggies" or "num nums."
Agree. In fact, one of my great niece's teacher told her Mom (my niece) that she knew we DIDN'T baby talk her because of they way she presented herself. Yup, a 4 year old has better sense than the O.P.
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You're literally teaching your child your language so she can communicate. Baby talk will only delay this, and children become frustrated when they can't communicate their feelings.
Isn't the child's brain ramping into maximal language acquisition mode around that age? I mean three may be a bit young, but she's getting to the age where kids can learn language like a sponge, including second and third languages. Time for some people in her life to start feeding adult language into her eager little brain, although she may still find getting baby talk from her mother comforting.
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someone needs to stop breeding stat. How can a parent be so completely clueless?!? and jealous of cats...
Just because you expel something out of your body does not suddenly give you divine wisdom
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I'm confused. Someone WANTS someone to baby talk instead of punching them in the throat FOR baby talking?
My SIL thanked me the other day for treating my nieces and nephew like they were people. My baby brother remembers to this day that when I watched him I treated him with respect. Kids remember things, maybe not from infancy, but they know if they're being treated like a person, and most of them seem to prefer it.
Two points: 1. My cats are more important than my niece (she was made with love by her parents). I have had my cats over 10+ years, I will exactly for this reason use baby talk to my cats until they misbehave. This way the cat understands from my voice good or bad timing. 2. Baby talk to human child makes them delay in speech and can cause them to fall behind, especially since communication skills are corner stone of any professional careers 3. Nobody in this world has to bend for your child, you made it, deal with it. 4. Children, when you speak to them early on in correct language they can pick up multiple languages simultaneously. Baby talk doesn't help "monkey see monkey do" repetition. When you keep using baby words, the child will try to mimic learn baby words . YTA YTA
I don't see anything wrong with this? YTA. You would be willing to lose a free baby sitter? Over essentially nothing? wow.
I actually hated when my relatives would do that to me as a child. I would get upset and correct them. "It's not 'num nums' auntie. Just call it food."
Baby talk is fine once in a while, but it can lead to lower copherention down the line. With the cats, you can either baby talk or discuss Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, it's not going to make a difference. But the cats will learn the word "treat" even if slowly spelled. They are very selective in their language skills.
Selective and amazingly good at understanding "hoomin".
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I don't speak to kids with baby talk either. Most teachers and nannies recommend you don't. This is stupid.
Baby talk is kind of demeaning honestly. It's the same tone we use for our pets so it's kinda treating babies as animals. YTA
I thought that it's common knowledge that you shouldn't babytalk to your kid because it's bad for their develompent.
I dunno, this one just reads fake to me. Isn't it pretty well known by now that speaking baby-talk to your child will set them back in language development? And why would you insist on it?
You increase your daughters intelligense when you speak normal to her! Babylanguage decreases her intelligense.... Your daughter is better of with her aunt!
But then the three-year-old will sound more intelligent than her mother!
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It could be worse. I can't tell you how cringy it feels when you hear a couple baby talking in a restaurant you hear baby talk hit NSFW. You turn around to see the too are talking to each other
Never did the baby talk thing with my sons. Always spoke to them like adults and never did the "because I said so" bs either. When they asked why, we explained why so they understood the consequences (hurting someone's feelings, taking more than they should, sharing toys, etc). I knew we were doing the right things by them when I picked my oldest up from kindergarten and he was playing with a new kid. When I asked who they were, he told me that he'd just moved there and didn't have any friends and he asked him to play tag-football with him and his friends. Because he didn't want him to be all alone. That kid (both of them) make me so damn proud to be their mom. He's now in college, set to graduate next year and will head to med school after. My youngest will head to Baton Rouge in the fall. Damn how time flies!
Hey I always liked being treated like a human being when I was a little kid. I would ignore people who tried to baby talk with me lol. But cats and children are different, I treat my young cousins with respect and absolutely fawn over my cat because she’s my babey. It’s not because I love my cat more, it’s because I treat my HUMAN FAMILY MEMBERS differently from my floofy ones.
Of course we use baby talk with cats. We don't expect them to learn to talk.
...and if they learned, it would be to say "Feeeeeed meee!"
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Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, my 3 year old son was in the cart. Behind us a 5 or 6 year old boy was literally jumping and grunting to his mother(?) holding up a candy bar. She said eh-eh, eh-eh, then slapped his hand and the boy cried. My 3 year old son asked me, in a complete sentence, "Why doesn't he ask his mommy for the candy?" I whispered to my son that some mommies don't teach their children how to talk.
Based on what you've described, I would assume the child was non-verbal and on the spectrum, or deaf. By that age, it would have to be a learning issue or a physical one. Blaming the parents is quite frankly, ableist.
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She's three years old. What are you gonna do when she starts school next year, tell all the teachers to baby talk her?
Depending on her birthday, she could even be starting school this year!
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My husband uses baby talk with his daughter. She's to be 15 this year. It really, TRULY, disgusts me!
I'm reading it thinking have I got this backwords? Like, I could see objecting to baby talk. And the part where she think her sister loves her cats more??? First off, what if she does? That's allowed. But judging that assessment on baby talk is just plain stupid. Lady is an idiot
I'm single with no kids and even I knew that baby talk isn't the best for kids. wtf./
She just subconsciously feels that her sister loves the cats more, and she's too wrapped up to see that her sister's way of showing her love for her niece is just different.
And so what if she does love her cats more? They're her cats, and not her kid.
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I want to have this woman's problems (instead of mine, of course).
According to early childhood development experts (my mother being a major one), baby-talk discourages healthy speech development in toddlers and should be minimized as much as possible. The sister is correct - treat the 3 year-old like a person! Cats, however, don’t speak human language and instead respond to tones, and babytalk effectively communicates positive feelings between human words and cat hearing sensitivities. So not only is the OP wrong and definitely “YTA”, she clearly doesn’t know enough about human or feline development to throw a fuss over!
I think it's okay to baby talk to a BABY! Once they reach about a year old you should already be talking to the child like a person. If this child can't talk at 3 there is a problem and the child needs and evaluation. Most children start talking between about 1 to 2 years.
Does she think that when her daughter starts daycare or school her teachers will baby talk to her ? I didn't even speak baby talk to my kids once they said their first words. There is little to no benefit and if you read books or speak to your pediatrician they would advise against baby talk. You are trying to ready your child for the real world that she will have to grow up in and now more than ever kids are growing up faster than in the past. YTA if you basically compare your child to your sisters cats. Your sister doesn't have any children yet but she is better at teaching your daughter the ways of the world. Just because you are a parent it doesn't mean you are the be all end all. I have a 29 year old,26 year old and a 4 year old and I'm still learning things to raise my youngest in our quickly changing times.
Are you f*****g kidding me? Talking baby talk to a 3 year old? GTFOH
Mom is nuts and her sis is treating child as a person...yes mom , YATA..
Yeah, I was reciting/singing whole nursery rhymes when I was 2 years old & my sister who is 11 years older than me used to take me out in my pram to hang out with her mates, all of whom encouraged me to chatter away ... no baby-talk. I’ve also been an auntie since I was 9 years old & have watched 8 nieces/nephews growing up, but any baby-talk quickly ceased as soon as they could speak. It certainly didn’t alter them in a harmful way. To make a fuss over something so petty & chase away your own flesh & blood, that’s just silly. Just swallow your fricking pride & apologise, because it’s not fair to deprive your daughter of a loving auntie for something so foolish! 🤨🤷♀️
It’s been proven that doing baby talk to kids at any age is not good. Your sister is right and your child does not and will never respect you
YTA. Studies have shown that babytalk to infants does help their neurons begin forming for their initial speech patterns, however, only for infants. At 3 years old your child is too old for babytalk, you need to be speaking to them normally so they can actually pick up how words are pronounced properly, if you're still using babytalk you're actually stunting her development. Your sister is right in that she knows more about children than you even do, you had no right to tell her HOW she should babysit your child as long as the child was healthy and safe, and you had no right to make demands of her while she was doing you a favor. You seem more angry about not having your way and losing a free babysitter than you are about how you've hurt your sisters feelings and disrespected her. Congratulations, you've become one of those helicopter Karen parents that absolutely everyone hates. Since your sister didn't like kids much anyway, I doubt you'll see her much after this. Your fault.
"YTA"? Probably. "Insane"? Definitely. Another AITA, another no-brainer.
We never used baby talk to our daughter. We use simpler words, simpler sentences but no 'fake' words. When we use words like 'nom nom' for food it's just because she finds it funny and giggles. She is now 2 1/2 years old and is always complimented for how good she speaks and understands things.
My parents never spoke in baby language to me and i learned speaking a lot faster than the children of their friends at the time. It actually seems to be very beneficial to speak normal to little kids and helps their development.
Here's the thing. It's your kid, but there's gotta be some wiggle room when you're asking someone else to care for your kid. If they're doing everything else you want [feeding schedule, activities, etc.], then they should be able to speak to the child normally. It's free child care, goodness. Take the win.
Well, cats can't talk, so there's that. I would hate to hear what he would say to me if he could.
There is actually quite a number of scholarly articles stating that there are developmental benefits to babies if “baby talk” and “parentese”. Having said that, OP is being ridiculous.
>> However, researchers still say that in order for the babies to be engaged in the act of communication, parents should maintain a high-pitched voice and a more exaggerated intonation while talking slowly and clearly with correct grammar and real words. ===== This... isn't a baby. This is a 3-yr-old child.
I did not talk baby talk to either one of my kids, and I told others please talk in a way my kids will learn to speak normally. Both my kids were early talkers because they understood the words spoken to them. Baby talk is demeaning and an adult sound so ridiculous when they talk like that.
YTA. As long as they are not using inappropriate language, you do not get to tell others how to speak to your child when in their care, ungrateful #karen mom.
use baby talk so the child never learns to speak properly, some children even object or think they are being made fun of if baby talk is used. Most children learn and understand proper language, they hear TV, people on the street, kids and adults in play school, day care, etc. BY age 3 most children can already speak in short sentences and want to be treated like "big" girls or boys.
You ever notice how we spend the first year trying to get the baby to talk, and the rest of their lives telling them to shut up? Someone needs to tell this woman to shut up.
We never used baby talk with our son. He was conversing with good concepts at age 3. I have talked to 4yo kids who had adult level comprehension.
Children do not need nor deserve baby talk. I would be like stop talking baby talk to my kid. Stop it now! It has nothing to do with love. Cata arent all oh wow are they talking baby talk to me. They arent going to start meowing back in fake little meeews. Yes, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why you feel the need to talk baby talk to your kid. Talk to them normally. That's your job
Babies use baby talk grown ups are supposed to use the correct word, adult talk if you will, so the kid isn't using baby talk when they are 5 or starting school
Seems to me to be pretty silly. Personally I think I was born adult, I would have been pretty insulted when I was three to have adults talking baby-talk to me. Not that my parents spoke baby talk to us. But my Mum did notknow how to tell when a child was taking, I knee when my daughter said 'Tsss" she meant Tassie out then dog. When she said Puggus Cuck I knew she meant the cat "Puss'. and Buddud was baby David :-) Speak clear English (or your native tongue) to your child and learn that when they continue to make the same sound for something THAT is talking. That is how a language is learned, Only one of my kids ever needed correction _ I judged that she was old enough to stop calling spaghetti ""Bisgetty""
i feel like none of you are the [donkey]hole here, you're niece (i think thats the older kid) is just not a fan of baby talk, i do the same to my 3 year old brother. so you are over reacting a bit, but you aren't the [donkey]hole, and neither is your niece.
I have 3 grown children and 7 grandchildren. I have never spoken to any of them in baby talk. I see it as childish and immature.
Are other babysitters the mom uses required to use baby talk when caring for her child? I wouldn’t be surprised if the 3 year old asks the Dad one day soon “Dad, why does Mom talk funny?” The mom who is being an AH might consider having an adult conversation with a pediatrician or better, a mental health specialist.
I'm a literal age regressor, but if anyone tried to speak to me in baby talk while I was in little space, I'd seriously hit them. Baby talk is horrible.
baby talk is stupid and selfish. ppl use it only because it suits them but it has no benefit for the child. how can the kid learn to speak normally if all adults speak to them as if they were stupid and mentally impaired? if someone was using baby talk to my kid i would politely ask them to stop it i would never encourage this
i never understood why ppl teach their kids colors not with normal names but ( at least in my language) they teach them something like sunny-ish=yellow, grass-ish=green, sky-ish=blue. then tgey ca teach the colors all over again later. i mean it is a good thing to say as green as grass but to invent completely new vocabulary is like...why
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I never used baby talk with my son. Speaking in baby talk makes me uncomfortable and I feel ridiculous. I can honestly say it didn't harm him in any way and in fact turned out to be in his favour as he now embraces many language challenges.
Baby talk makes me gag, and I have two sons. Here's a thought: talk to them like people.
Baby talk do more damage than good. I remember my classmate from first grade, she spoke with a lisp. It was the way her parents taugh her to pronounce words. She had hard time to learn correct speech.
Depends a LOT on what you're calling "baby talk". If you're talking about what most people call "Baby talk", the simplified, nonsense babbling that some adults do, then 100% YTA, because you're delaying your child's development. But, if you're talking about the newer definition (AKA "parentese"), slow tempo, raised pitched, but proper grammar and real words (not the cutsie wootsie BS), then I'm going to say ESH, because she's ignoring it and you don't sound like you're bothering to explain to your sister the reasoning. Or maybe you don't actually know anything about it yourself and then it's back to YTA.
Both my daughter’s father and I agreed at the outset never to use baby talk with her. Now she’s 24 and speaks two other languages besides English :P
I think ETA here, because the sister could have handled this a bit better and the mom really overreacted.
@Raccoon Queen, How could the sister have handled it better? I am with the husband on this. Will the foolish woman who chose to have a kid ask the teachers to use baby talk to the teachers once she enters pre-school? Give me a break.
Load More Replies... OP's child is 3 and apparently doesn't know how to talk. Most 3 yr olds I've met never shut up. Maybe baby talk discourages kids from talking? For example, when I baby talk my son he gives me the stink eye and walks away. To be fair, he's 17.
Poor widdel boi. Sorry, should have said boysiekins
Load More Replies... Maybe you shouldn't talk about tax reform or the impact of subconscious biases on career opportunities until she's 5 but for the rest: NO baby talk.
To be fair, it would be hilarious to hear those topics parroted at the parents when you return the child to their care!!
Load More Replies... I never spoke to my nieces and nephews in baby talk. The older ones tell me that they love that I have always treated them like people and not babies. A five year old can have a conversation, maybe not about adult things, but there is no reason that we can't talk about what to have for lunch without using words like "nuggies" or "num nums."
Agree. In fact, one of my great niece's teacher told her Mom (my niece) that she knew we DIDN'T baby talk her because of they way she presented herself. Yup, a 4 year old has better sense than the O.P.
Load More Replies... You're literally teaching your child your language so she can communicate. Baby talk will only delay this, and children become frustrated when they can't communicate their feelings.
Isn't the child's brain ramping into maximal language acquisition mode around that age? I mean three may be a bit young, but she's getting to the age where kids can learn language like a sponge, including second and third languages. Time for some people in her life to start feeding adult language into her eager little brain, although she may still find getting baby talk from her mother comforting.
Load More Replies... someone needs to stop breeding stat. How can a parent be so completely clueless?!? and jealous of cats...
Just because you expel something out of your body does not suddenly give you divine wisdom
Load More Replies... I'm confused. Someone WANTS someone to baby talk instead of punching them in the throat FOR baby talking?
My SIL thanked me the other day for treating my nieces and nephew like they were people. My baby brother remembers to this day that when I watched him I treated him with respect. Kids remember things, maybe not from infancy, but they know if they're being treated like a person, and most of them seem to prefer it.
Two points: 1. My cats are more important than my niece (she was made with love by her parents). I have had my cats over 10+ years, I will exactly for this reason use baby talk to my cats until they misbehave. This way the cat understands from my voice good or bad timing. 2. Baby talk to human child makes them delay in speech and can cause them to fall behind, especially since communication skills are corner stone of any professional careers 3. Nobody in this world has to bend for your child, you made it, deal with it. 4. Children, when you speak to them early on in correct language they can pick up multiple languages simultaneously. Baby talk doesn't help "monkey see monkey do" repetition. When you keep using baby words, the child will try to mimic learn baby words . YTA YTA
I don't see anything wrong with this? YTA. You would be willing to lose a free baby sitter? Over essentially nothing? wow.
I actually hated when my relatives would do that to me as a child. I would get upset and correct them. "It's not 'num nums' auntie. Just call it food."
Baby talk is fine once in a while, but it can lead to lower copherention down the line. With the cats, you can either baby talk or discuss Schopenhauer and Nietzsche, it's not going to make a difference. But the cats will learn the word "treat" even if slowly spelled. They are very selective in their language skills.
Selective and amazingly good at understanding "hoomin".
Load More Replies... I don't speak to kids with baby talk either. Most teachers and nannies recommend you don't. This is stupid.
Baby talk is kind of demeaning honestly. It's the same tone we use for our pets so it's kinda treating babies as animals. YTA
I thought that it's common knowledge that you shouldn't babytalk to your kid because it's bad for their develompent.
I dunno, this one just reads fake to me. Isn't it pretty well known by now that speaking baby-talk to your child will set them back in language development? And why would you insist on it?
You increase your daughters intelligense when you speak normal to her! Babylanguage decreases her intelligense.... Your daughter is better of with her aunt!
But then the three-year-old will sound more intelligent than her mother!
Load More Replies... It could be worse. I can't tell you how cringy it feels when you hear a couple baby talking in a restaurant you hear baby talk hit NSFW. You turn around to see the too are talking to each other
Never did the baby talk thing with my sons. Always spoke to them like adults and never did the "because I said so" bs either. When they asked why, we explained why so they understood the consequences (hurting someone's feelings, taking more than they should, sharing toys, etc). I knew we were doing the right things by them when I picked my oldest up from kindergarten and he was playing with a new kid. When I asked who they were, he told me that he'd just moved there and didn't have any friends and he asked him to play tag-football with him and his friends. Because he didn't want him to be all alone. That kid (both of them) make me so damn proud to be their mom. He's now in college, set to graduate next year and will head to med school after. My youngest will head to Baton Rouge in the fall. Damn how time flies!
Hey I always liked being treated like a human being when I was a little kid. I would ignore people who tried to baby talk with me lol. But cats and children are different, I treat my young cousins with respect and absolutely fawn over my cat because she’s my babey. It’s not because I love my cat more, it’s because I treat my HUMAN FAMILY MEMBERS differently from my floofy ones.
Of course we use baby talk with cats. We don't expect them to learn to talk.
...and if they learned, it would be to say "Feeeeeed meee!"
Load More Replies... Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, my 3 year old son was in the cart. Behind us a 5 or 6 year old boy was literally jumping and grunting to his mother(?) holding up a candy bar. She said eh-eh, eh-eh, then slapped his hand and the boy cried. My 3 year old son asked me, in a complete sentence, "Why doesn't he ask his mommy for the candy?" I whispered to my son that some mommies don't teach their children how to talk.
Based on what you've described, I would assume the child was non-verbal and on the spectrum, or deaf. By that age, it would have to be a learning issue or a physical one. Blaming the parents is quite frankly, ableist.
Load More Replies... She's three years old. What are you gonna do when she starts school next year, tell all the teachers to baby talk her?
Depending on her birthday, she could even be starting school this year!
Load More Replies... My husband uses baby talk with his daughter. She's to be 15 this year. It really, TRULY, disgusts me!
I'm reading it thinking have I got this backwords? Like, I could see objecting to baby talk. And the part where she think her sister loves her cats more??? First off, what if she does? That's allowed. But judging that assessment on baby talk is just plain stupid. Lady is an idiot
I'm single with no kids and even I knew that baby talk isn't the best for kids. wtf./
She just subconsciously feels that her sister loves the cats more, and she's too wrapped up to see that her sister's way of showing her love for her niece is just different.
And so what if she does love her cats more? They're her cats, and not her kid.
Load More Replies... I want to have this woman's problems (instead of mine, of course).
According to early childhood development experts (my mother being a major one), baby-talk discourages healthy speech development in toddlers and should be minimized as much as possible. The sister is correct - treat the 3 year-old like a person! Cats, however, don’t speak human language and instead respond to tones, and babytalk effectively communicates positive feelings between human words and cat hearing sensitivities. So not only is the OP wrong and definitely “YTA”, she clearly doesn’t know enough about human or feline development to throw a fuss over!
I think it's okay to baby talk to a BABY! Once they reach about a year old you should already be talking to the child like a person. If this child can't talk at 3 there is a problem and the child needs and evaluation. Most children start talking between about 1 to 2 years.
Does she think that when her daughter starts daycare or school her teachers will baby talk to her ? I didn't even speak baby talk to my kids once they said their first words. There is little to no benefit and if you read books or speak to your pediatrician they would advise against baby talk. You are trying to ready your child for the real world that she will have to grow up in and now more than ever kids are growing up faster than in the past. YTA if you basically compare your child to your sisters cats. Your sister doesn't have any children yet but she is better at teaching your daughter the ways of the world. Just because you are a parent it doesn't mean you are the be all end all. I have a 29 year old,26 year old and a 4 year old and I'm still learning things to raise my youngest in our quickly changing times.
Are you f*****g kidding me? Talking baby talk to a 3 year old? GTFOH
Mom is nuts and her sis is treating child as a person...yes mom , YATA..
Yeah, I was reciting/singing whole nursery rhymes when I was 2 years old & my sister who is 11 years older than me used to take me out in my pram to hang out with her mates, all of whom encouraged me to chatter away ... no baby-talk. I’ve also been an auntie since I was 9 years old & have watched 8 nieces/nephews growing up, but any baby-talk quickly ceased as soon as they could speak. It certainly didn’t alter them in a harmful way. To make a fuss over something so petty & chase away your own flesh & blood, that’s just silly. Just swallow your fricking pride & apologise, because it’s not fair to deprive your daughter of a loving auntie for something so foolish! 🤨🤷♀️
It’s been proven that doing baby talk to kids at any age is not good. Your sister is right and your child does not and will never respect you
YTA. Studies have shown that babytalk to infants does help their neurons begin forming for their initial speech patterns, however, only for infants. At 3 years old your child is too old for babytalk, you need to be speaking to them normally so they can actually pick up how words are pronounced properly, if you're still using babytalk you're actually stunting her development. Your sister is right in that she knows more about children than you even do, you had no right to tell her HOW she should babysit your child as long as the child was healthy and safe, and you had no right to make demands of her while she was doing you a favor. You seem more angry about not having your way and losing a free babysitter than you are about how you've hurt your sisters feelings and disrespected her. Congratulations, you've become one of those helicopter Karen parents that absolutely everyone hates. Since your sister didn't like kids much anyway, I doubt you'll see her much after this. Your fault.
"YTA"? Probably. "Insane"? Definitely. Another AITA, another no-brainer.
We never used baby talk to our daughter. We use simpler words, simpler sentences but no 'fake' words. When we use words like 'nom nom' for food it's just because she finds it funny and giggles. She is now 2 1/2 years old and is always complimented for how good she speaks and understands things.
My parents never spoke in baby language to me and i learned speaking a lot faster than the children of their friends at the time. It actually seems to be very beneficial to speak normal to little kids and helps their development.
Here's the thing. It's your kid, but there's gotta be some wiggle room when you're asking someone else to care for your kid. If they're doing everything else you want [feeding schedule, activities, etc.], then they should be able to speak to the child normally. It's free child care, goodness. Take the win.
Well, cats can't talk, so there's that. I would hate to hear what he would say to me if he could.
There is actually quite a number of scholarly articles stating that there are developmental benefits to babies if “baby talk” and “parentese”. Having said that, OP is being ridiculous.
>> However, researchers still say that in order for the babies to be engaged in the act of communication, parents should maintain a high-pitched voice and a more exaggerated intonation while talking slowly and clearly with correct grammar and real words. ===== This... isn't a baby. This is a 3-yr-old child.
I did not talk baby talk to either one of my kids, and I told others please talk in a way my kids will learn to speak normally. Both my kids were early talkers because they understood the words spoken to them. Baby talk is demeaning and an adult sound so ridiculous when they talk like that.
YTA. As long as they are not using inappropriate language, you do not get to tell others how to speak to your child when in their care, ungrateful #karen mom.
use baby talk so the child never learns to speak properly, some children even object or think they are being made fun of if baby talk is used. Most children learn and understand proper language, they hear TV, people on the street, kids and adults in play school, day care, etc. BY age 3 most children can already speak in short sentences and want to be treated like "big" girls or boys.
You ever notice how we spend the first year trying to get the baby to talk, and the rest of their lives telling them to shut up? Someone needs to tell this woman to shut up.
We never used baby talk with our son. He was conversing with good concepts at age 3. I have talked to 4yo kids who had adult level comprehension.
Children do not need nor deserve baby talk. I would be like stop talking baby talk to my kid. Stop it now! It has nothing to do with love. Cata arent all oh wow are they talking baby talk to me. They arent going to start meowing back in fake little meeews. Yes, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why you feel the need to talk baby talk to your kid. Talk to them normally. That's your job
Babies use baby talk grown ups are supposed to use the correct word, adult talk if you will, so the kid isn't using baby talk when they are 5 or starting school
Seems to me to be pretty silly. Personally I think I was born adult, I would have been pretty insulted when I was three to have adults talking baby-talk to me. Not that my parents spoke baby talk to us. But my Mum did notknow how to tell when a child was taking, I knee when my daughter said 'Tsss" she meant Tassie out then dog. When she said Puggus Cuck I knew she meant the cat "Puss'. and Buddud was baby David :-) Speak clear English (or your native tongue) to your child and learn that when they continue to make the same sound for something THAT is talking. That is how a language is learned, Only one of my kids ever needed correction _ I judged that she was old enough to stop calling spaghetti ""Bisgetty""
i feel like none of you are the [donkey]hole here, you're niece (i think thats the older kid) is just not a fan of baby talk, i do the same to my 3 year old brother. so you are over reacting a bit, but you aren't the [donkey]hole, and neither is your niece.
I have 3 grown children and 7 grandchildren. I have never spoken to any of them in baby talk. I see it as childish and immature.
Are other babysitters the mom uses required to use baby talk when caring for her child? I wouldn’t be surprised if the 3 year old asks the Dad one day soon “Dad, why does Mom talk funny?” The mom who is being an AH might consider having an adult conversation with a pediatrician or better, a mental health specialist.
I'm a literal age regressor, but if anyone tried to speak to me in baby talk while I was in little space, I'd seriously hit them. Baby talk is horrible.
baby talk is stupid and selfish. ppl use it only because it suits them but it has no benefit for the child. how can the kid learn to speak normally if all adults speak to them as if they were stupid and mentally impaired? if someone was using baby talk to my kid i would politely ask them to stop it i would never encourage this
i never understood why ppl teach their kids colors not with normal names but ( at least in my language) they teach them something like sunny-ish=yellow, grass-ish=green, sky-ish=blue. then tgey ca teach the colors all over again later. i mean it is a good thing to say as green as grass but to invent completely new vocabulary is like...why
Load More Replies... I never used baby talk with my son. Speaking in baby talk makes me uncomfortable and I feel ridiculous. I can honestly say it didn't harm him in any way and in fact turned out to be in his favour as he now embraces many language challenges.
Baby talk makes me gag, and I have two sons. Here's a thought: talk to them like people.
Baby talk do more damage than good. I remember my classmate from first grade, she spoke with a lisp. It was the way her parents taugh her to pronounce words. She had hard time to learn correct speech.
Depends a LOT on what you're calling "baby talk". If you're talking about what most people call "Baby talk", the simplified, nonsense babbling that some adults do, then 100% YTA, because you're delaying your child's development. But, if you're talking about the newer definition (AKA "parentese"), slow tempo, raised pitched, but proper grammar and real words (not the cutsie wootsie BS), then I'm going to say ESH, because she's ignoring it and you don't sound like you're bothering to explain to your sister the reasoning. Or maybe you don't actually know anything about it yourself and then it's back to YTA.
Both my daughter’s father and I agreed at the outset never to use baby talk with her. Now she’s 24 and speaks two other languages besides English :P
I think ETA here, because the sister could have handled this a bit better and the mom really overreacted.
@Raccoon Queen, How could the sister have handled it better? I am with the husband on this. Will the foolish woman who chose to have a kid ask the teachers to use baby talk to the teachers once she enters pre-school? Give me a break.
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