“I Feel Rejected”: Dad Reveals 18YO Is Mom’s Affair Child And Won’t Get College Funds, He’s Aghast
Infidelity can ruin marriages and cause a lot of pain to the other partner. This trauma can stay with a person for a while, even if they choose to forgive their cheating spouse. Unfortunately, the pain can also affect their children if it’s not dealt with properly.
This is what happened when a dad suddenly blew up at his 18-year-old son about him being a product of an affair, and refused to pay for his college. The teen had no idea that his mom had cheated, so his family life and dreams were all crushed in a matter of seconds.
When kids are punished for their parents’ wrongdoing, it can cause a lot of pain and confusion
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The poster shared that his dad had covered the cost of college for his two siblings, which is why he expected the same to be done for him
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When the teen asked his dad about his college being covered, the older man got mad and said he’d have to fend for himself, as he was the product of his mom’s affair
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster felt confused and abandoned because he suddenly had no means to pay for college and didn’t know if he’d be accepted at home anymore
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Apart from the teen’s intense situation, his family was also dealing with the recent loss of his grandpa, and everyone was trying to support each other
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Netizens were shocked that nobody seemed to have the poster’s back, and they urged him to talk to his siblings
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In an update post, the teen stated that his dad hadn’t actually meant to blow up at him—he only did it because of a fight he had with his wife
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Even though his father had been angry, he was still going to pay for the poster’s college, and if he didn’t, the rest of the family was willing to help
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The teen’s mom also opened up to him about her infidelity and revealed that after it, she and her husband had to work on things together to heal
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The entire situation also taught the teen about being independent and fending for himself, so he decided he would eventually get a job
From a young age, the teen had seen how his dad had covered the cost of his brother and sister’s college as well as their expenses. He expected his father to do the same for him, which is why he applied to the same place as his siblings. Unfortunately, when he asked his dad about covering the cost of his studies, the man got mad and let him know that it wouldn’t happen.
In situations like this, where parents refuse to help their kids pay for their college education, it’s important for the youth to take matters into their own hands. They should ask their guardians or parents to fill out the monetary aid forms, but if this is also not possible, they need to approach the financial aid administrator at the college for advice.
The OP’s dad told him that he was unwilling to cover his university costs because he was his mom’s affair child. This information obviously came as a shock to the poster, who had no inkling that his mother had even cheated on his father. He was also worried about not having any support for his education and felt abandoned by his dad in that respect.
If a child is born out of infidelity and their parents keep this from them, it can lead to a huge conflict later on in life. Experts state that this information should be introduced to the kids when they are younger so that they can understand their family background better and slowly accept it.
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After a lot of turmoil, the poster spoke to his parents about the issue, and they reassured him that his college would be paid for. His dad explained that the reason he had suddenly exposed his wife’s affair was that they had gotten into a fight, and his old feelings resurfaced, which had been tough to deal with.
According to psychologists, the emotional impact of infidelity can be very painful to deal with, and it might even destroy the foundation of trust in the relationship. These feelings take a long time to work through and can even resurface, which is why couples need to always have an open dialogue of communication.
The OP realized how hurt his dad had been and understood that he wasn’t being malicious when he exposed the affair. It did, however, make the poster question his roots, but he eventually decided that he didn’t want to find out about his biological dad, as he already had a loving family.
It might take a while for the poster’s family to process the information about the mom’s affair, and it might also be tough for her to relive those memories, but it helps that the whole truth is finally out in the open. Now, the OP and his family can heal from the past and work on better, more honest communication for the future.
What are your thoughts on this story, and what advice would you give to the OP about this bombshell information he received? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Folks told the poster not to go digging into his ancestry and to value the family he already had, and many encouraged him to become more independent
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Poor OP! None of this is hs fault. That was a d!ck move on his dad's part, to tell OP he was an affair child like that. Absolutely *somebody* should have told him way before this. Glad the people on reddit helped him out re: how to do stuff.
The mum sounds like a total idiot and apparently unfaithful to boot.
Dad is such an AH. He raised OP, OP is his son. Lashing out to hurt his own kid just because he's made at past relationship trouble is beyond d**k move.
Nothing about the mom being an AH for having an affair with an AH in the first place?
Load More Replies...What a mess. Even though it seems everything is ok, things will never be the same between OP and his parents. I think they broke sth inside of him, poor guy.
The father is an wrong for taking an argument out on the son and the damage it has caused, however the mother seems to be massive ahole. Not only does she have an affair, get pregnant then come crawling back because they kicked her out, but she then refuses to tell the son the truth for the next 18 years (father is right that it should come from her). She then makes light of the affair with her comment about how he would have missed out on this if he had gone through with the divorce, and then puts seeds of doubt into his mind about how can he be sure the other kids are his (when she already knows he is stressed about his father's health). Then when the father and son have the argument, she doesn't offer the son reassurance, try to calm things down, be the voice of reason etc, just cries and refuses to talk about it, clearly seeing herself as the victim with no regard to anyone else.
I would still do the DNA test for inherited diseases and conditions, though. I’d just have the diseases and conditions stuff sent, and none of the other genetic information included with it. Just to be informed of anything I need to warn my doctor about and keep an eye on—-or pass on to my children.
Adopted child here, and yep. That's the only thing I really wanted to know - medical history, what conditions might or might not rise up to smite me later on in life, etc. XD
Load More Replies...This was so hard to read, but I'm really glad it ended well for the kid! I think both the mom and dad are ta. After all, the mom didn't tell the kid, and the dad took his anger out on OP. However, I do think the dad should get some credit because he raised OP as his own, loved him like his own, prepared for OP's college the way he did for his own kids, and apologized. I'm not saying that makes what he said/did right, and I feel horrible OP had to go through that. But ultimately, no one is perfect and a lot of people have said words they wish they could take back in the heat of the moment, many of which didn't have the excuse of being about to lose their own father. The father is at least paying for OP's college and seems remorseful.
Yeah, he raised & had a relationship with OP just so he could stab him in the back when he was old enough to understand & pull the rug out from under him. He doesn't get any credit for treating him like a son when he was waiting to use him to hurt the woman HE DECIDED TO GET BACK WITH! I really think he played the long game just to hurt her. Neither of them deserve kids.
Load More Replies...and mom is still not parenting- too busy with her own pity party to look out for her son
Poor OP! None of this is hs fault. That was a d!ck move on his dad's part, to tell OP he was an affair child like that. Absolutely *somebody* should have told him way before this. Glad the people on reddit helped him out re: how to do stuff.
The mum sounds like a total idiot and apparently unfaithful to boot.
Dad is such an AH. He raised OP, OP is his son. Lashing out to hurt his own kid just because he's made at past relationship trouble is beyond d**k move.
Nothing about the mom being an AH for having an affair with an AH in the first place?
Load More Replies...What a mess. Even though it seems everything is ok, things will never be the same between OP and his parents. I think they broke sth inside of him, poor guy.
The father is an wrong for taking an argument out on the son and the damage it has caused, however the mother seems to be massive ahole. Not only does she have an affair, get pregnant then come crawling back because they kicked her out, but she then refuses to tell the son the truth for the next 18 years (father is right that it should come from her). She then makes light of the affair with her comment about how he would have missed out on this if he had gone through with the divorce, and then puts seeds of doubt into his mind about how can he be sure the other kids are his (when she already knows he is stressed about his father's health). Then when the father and son have the argument, she doesn't offer the son reassurance, try to calm things down, be the voice of reason etc, just cries and refuses to talk about it, clearly seeing herself as the victim with no regard to anyone else.
I would still do the DNA test for inherited diseases and conditions, though. I’d just have the diseases and conditions stuff sent, and none of the other genetic information included with it. Just to be informed of anything I need to warn my doctor about and keep an eye on—-or pass on to my children.
Adopted child here, and yep. That's the only thing I really wanted to know - medical history, what conditions might or might not rise up to smite me later on in life, etc. XD
Load More Replies...This was so hard to read, but I'm really glad it ended well for the kid! I think both the mom and dad are ta. After all, the mom didn't tell the kid, and the dad took his anger out on OP. However, I do think the dad should get some credit because he raised OP as his own, loved him like his own, prepared for OP's college the way he did for his own kids, and apologized. I'm not saying that makes what he said/did right, and I feel horrible OP had to go through that. But ultimately, no one is perfect and a lot of people have said words they wish they could take back in the heat of the moment, many of which didn't have the excuse of being about to lose their own father. The father is at least paying for OP's college and seems remorseful.
Yeah, he raised & had a relationship with OP just so he could stab him in the back when he was old enough to understand & pull the rug out from under him. He doesn't get any credit for treating him like a son when he was waiting to use him to hurt the woman HE DECIDED TO GET BACK WITH! I really think he played the long game just to hurt her. Neither of them deserve kids.
Load More Replies...and mom is still not parenting- too busy with her own pity party to look out for her son

















































































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