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Prepare yourselves, dear Pandas, we’re about to journey into one of the most shadowy and hilarious corners of the internet—into the vast Cringe Empire, home of the elusive, socially inept neckbeards. Known for their poor hygiene, misogynistic points of view, [ahem] ‘interesting’ style choices, love of anime, katanas, body pillows, and Japanese culture, these fedora-wearing individuals are called neckbeards.

A pejorative term, it lightly pokes fun at those geeks who have over-inflated egos (and more than occasionally—over-inflated tummies), are often misogynistic, call people “m’lady,” and believe that acting like a functioning member of society is more of a recommendation than a requirement. Whether or not they have a beard on their necks or in their hearts is beside the point. All that matters is the beard in their soul.

One place that publicly shames the most cringeworthy neckbeards is the ‘Just Neckbeard Things’ subreddit, a community of nearly 809k members. It’s an online group “for mocking those who adorn their necks with proud man fur.” And I love their tagline which is “barba non philisophum facit” which roughly translated from Latin means “one's beard does not make a philosopher.”

Have a look through some of the subreddit’s funniest and quirkiest posts about neckbeards, upvote the ones that made you laugh, and be sure to give the online group a visit if you enjoyed their stuff. Onwards, dear Readers! Just remember not to touch anyone’s fedora—it makes them... angry.

Plenty of neckbeards eat very poorly, move very little, and stereotypically subsist on Doritos and Mountain Dew, which means their health isn't up to scratch. Bored Panda reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly to hear his take on what we can do to improve our health and fitness if we feel that it's negatively impacting the quality of our lives. You'll find his insights below.

More info: Reddit | Facebook 

#1

Women And Their... *shuffles Deck* ...pants!

Women And Their... *shuffles Deck* ...pants!

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about pants for women, but I know this guy needs to wear a straitjacket..

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#2

Where's The Lie?

Where's The Lie?

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they really wanted girlfriends they'd be all over the girl geeks and gamers and programmers, but they do their damndest to push them away... thereby ending any possibility of meeting a girl they have anything in common with. They have NO idea that they have terrible intimacy issues, they'd rather believe it's all the fault of, well, every female alive.

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#3

Those Red Caps Are The New Fedoras

Those Red Caps Are The New Fedoras

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I wanted to get fitness expert Jack's take on what foods to go for when losing weight. Going on a new diet can mean that you're constantly feeling hungry which can, in turn, mean that you're more likely to go back to your old snacking and fast-food habits.

Jack told Bored Panda that high satiety foods are key to keeping hunger at bay. "The foods you are eating need to be high in protein and high volume in order to fill you up," he pointed out.

According to Jack, if someone's looking to lose some weight, he recommends weight lifting as a priority when it comes to exercise. However, mixing that together with some cardio "would be optimal," in his opinion.

"Weight lifting is more of the 'long term fix' as when you put on muscle mass, your body burns more calories just at rest. Thus, this makes it much easier to burn fat and keep it off long term," he said.

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#5

Just A Friendly Reminder!

Just A Friendly Reminder!

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are so many pics of signs like this! What is the connection between anime and bad hygiene, why??

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#6

Graphs Don't Lie

Graphs Don't Lie

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The fitness expert told Bored Panda that if someone's dissatisfied with their life and their health, they need to "get very clear on the CHOICE" they have to make. "You can endure the pain of workouts and different eating habits OR you can endure the pain of obesity, brain fog, poor mood, early death, low energy, medical bills, and low confidence."

He added: "It isn’t much of a choice at the end of the day."

How neckbeards are defined entirely depends on who you ask about them. For some, they’re anime-loving, fake katana-wielding dorks who dream about living in Japan. For others, they’re arrogant jerks and 'incels' who see themselves as better than everyone else and have a sense of entitlement that few can match. Often, neckbeards portray themselves as gentlemen, philosophers, and men of culture. Often… they’re anything but.

#7

Say It Again Louder For The People At The Back

Say It Again Louder For The People At The Back

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#8

Accurate

Accurate

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

.. he moved the bags of chips and cheese dipped nachos to get to the microwave..

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#9

A Nice Shot Of The Pastor Who Told Wives To Lose Weight And Look More Feminine

A Nice Shot Of The Pastor Who Told Wives To Lose Weight And Look More Feminine

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Others still associate neckbeards mostly with their exterior characteristics. The iconic fedora. The baggy suits. The overweight physiques. The slightly (fine, fine, more than just ‘slightly’) weird obsession with the ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon. And, of course, the scruffy, unkempt beards on their necks that are a modern version of what’s popular among the Amish community in the US. Each of these things doesn’t mean much in isolation, but when taken together, they paint a picture of someone who may need to work very hard to improve their life.

The r/justneckbeardthings subreddit has been active since late June of 2013 and recently celebrated its 8th birthday.

The moderators have got only 4 rules that members need to follow, including avoiding reposts (“Reposts are for losers,” they explain), not being a neckbeard on Reddit, being nice to turtles (here are a couple of possible explanations for the phrase), and avoiding sharing any and all personal info. Sure, the subreddit might be all about mocking neckbeards, but the mods point out that they don’t want to see any bullying or witch-hunts.

#10

It’s Hard Out Here For A Neckbeard Trying To Find The Proper M’lady

It’s Hard Out Here For A Neckbeard Trying To Find The Proper M’lady

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#12

Local Board Game Shop Fighting Back The Neckbeards

Local Board Game Shop Fighting Back The Neckbeards

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“At the core, neckbeards’ inflated egos and misogynistic attitudes towards women serve as a coping mechanism for personal insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. Such an attitude allows them to place the blame for their failed social interactions on others rather than undertake self-examination and improvement,” writes Urban Dictionary.

“Copious amounts of Mountain Dew, Doritos, video games, and a sedentary lifestyle are all additional hallmarks of the neckbeard ethos.”

#13

Revenge Of The Nerd

Revenge Of The Nerd

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're so delusional that you think "Leave me alone, creep" is asking for a date.

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#14

My Doctoral Thesis

My Doctoral Thesis

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#15

Hi Beautiful

Hi Beautiful

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to sit in on the court case just to watch the judge try not to laugh in the guys face.

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Meanwhile, another entry in Urban Dictionary describes neckbeards as “talkative, self-important nerdy men (usually age 30 and up) who, through an inability to properly decode social cues, mistake others' strained tolerance of their blather for evidence of their own charm.”

[Tips fedora] “M’panda.”

#16

Females Deserted Us

Females Deserted Us

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zims
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny they picked Denethor when Wormtongue is the canon incel. XD

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#17

When Your Euphoria Hits Other Players

When Your Euphoria Hits Other Players

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OCDRobot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner used to work at a game store and would run MTG games for free on his off time. The way they would thanklessly trash the store every time was infuriating. There was one day he went into the bathroom and there was just piss all over the place. He stopped the entire tourney and made them all come into the bathroom to look at the mess, then had to explain to the group of "grown" men how to properly piss in a toilet. Don't even get me started on the smell in there during those times.

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#18

Just Chilling In Moms Basement

Just Chilling In Moms Basement

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I knew there would be a bong! This table exists in so many rooms around the world

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#19

How Do You Go 62 Days Without A Shower??

How Do You Go 62 Days Without A Shower??

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People said things all right, but he didn't hear them because they all stayed 200 yards away.

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#20

Hopefully This Brings As Much Joy To You As It Did Me. 100% My Brother And His Friends

Hopefully This Brings As Much Joy To You As It Did Me. 100% My Brother And His Friends

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people might. But most bullying victims are just chosen because they dont have friends or defend them. Bullies find any excuse to bully others. Height, sex, weight, intelligence level...

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#21

I Can Respect That

I Can Respect That

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only one man can pull off a fedora, and he's also rocking a leather jacket and bullwhip

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#22

Not Even Satan Wants Neckbeards

Not Even Satan Wants Neckbeards

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even Satan has had to put up signs reminding people to have showers 🤦‍♀️

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#23

If You Want A "Strong" Woman, You're Gay!

If You Want A "Strong" Woman, You're Gay!

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#24

Wanna Hear A Scary Story, M'lady?

Wanna Hear A Scary Story, M'lady?

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Eithne Griffiths
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A guy once said to me,What would you do if we were the last two people on earth? I looked him in the eye and said, I would kill myself.

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#25

I Wonder What She Did

I Wonder What She Did

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#26

F You Then

F You Then

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who calls themselves a "nice guy" or "gentleman" is lying.

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#28

My Boyfriend And I Dressed As A Neckbeard And His Waifu For Halloween

My Boyfriend And I Dressed As A Neckbeard And His Waifu For Halloween

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#30

So Accurate It Hurts

So Accurate It Hurts

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Kevin Gerke
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is probably super confusing without knowing the reference. There was an episode of Rick and Morty where Rick went off on a tangent about the sauce when it was available at McDonalds years ago. McDonalds rolled with the sudden interest in the sauce and brought some back very briefly. Some Rick and Morty fans got super excited about it.

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Note: this post originally had 57 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.