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Prepare yourselves, dear Pandas, we’re about to journey into one of the most shadowy and hilarious corners of the internet—into the vast Cringe Empire, home of the elusive, socially inept neckbeards. Known for their poor hygiene, misogynistic points of view, [ahem] ‘interesting’ style choices, love of anime, katanas, body pillows, and Japanese culture, these fedora-wearing individuals are called neckbeards.

A pejorative term, it lightly pokes fun at those geeks who have over-inflated egos (and more than occasionally—over-inflated tummies), are often misogynistic, call people “m’lady,” and believe that acting like a functioning member of society is more of a recommendation than a requirement. Whether or not they have a beard on their necks or in their hearts is beside the point. All that matters is the beard in their soul.

One place that publicly shames the most cringeworthy neckbeards is the ‘Just Neckbeard Things’ subreddit, a community of nearly 809k members. It’s an online group “for mocking those who adorn their necks with proud man fur.” And I love their tagline which is “barba non philisophum facit” which roughly translated from Latin means “one's beard does not make a philosopher.”

Have a look through some of the subreddit’s funniest and quirkiest posts about neckbeards, upvote the ones that made you laugh, and be sure to give the online group a visit if you enjoyed their stuff. Onwards, dear Readers! Just remember not to touch anyone’s fedora—it makes them... angry.

Plenty of neckbeards eat very poorly, move very little, and stereotypically subsist on Doritos and Mountain Dew, which means their health isn't up to scratch. Bored Panda reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly to hear his take on what we can do to improve our health and fitness if we feel that it's negatively impacting the quality of our lives. You'll find his insights below.

More info: Reddit | Facebook 

#1

Women And Their... *shuffles Deck* ...pants!

Women And Their... *shuffles Deck* ...pants!

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about pants for women, but I know this guy needs to wear a straitjacket..

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#2

Where's The Lie?

Where's The Lie?

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they really wanted girlfriends they'd be all over the girl geeks and gamers and programmers, but they do their damndest to push them away... thereby ending any possibility of meeting a girl they have anything in common with. They have NO idea that they have terrible intimacy issues, they'd rather believe it's all the fault of, well, every female alive.

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#3

Those Red Caps Are The New Fedoras

Those Red Caps Are The New Fedoras

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I wanted to get fitness expert Jack's take on what foods to go for when losing weight. Going on a new diet can mean that you're constantly feeling hungry which can, in turn, mean that you're more likely to go back to your old snacking and fast-food habits.

Jack told Bored Panda that high satiety foods are key to keeping hunger at bay. "The foods you are eating need to be high in protein and high volume in order to fill you up," he pointed out.

According to Jack, if someone's looking to lose some weight, he recommends weight lifting as a priority when it comes to exercise. However, mixing that together with some cardio "would be optimal," in his opinion.

"Weight lifting is more of the 'long term fix' as when you put on muscle mass, your body burns more calories just at rest. Thus, this makes it much easier to burn fat and keep it off long term," he said.

#4

"They'll Understand Me In Japan"

"They'll Understand Me In Japan"

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beastmachine.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I am not from Japan but even there people prefer to keep their interests to themselves outside of specific events. You won't see your everyday man roaming like a total joker there 😂

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Neil Bidle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm American he says, I watch anime he says, I know all about Japanese culture he says...

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Q B F T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gaijins that go to to Japan for all the anime, hentai, dyed hair, wandering round akihabara understand Japan the least

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RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a saying in Japan: Deru kugi wa utareru. It's translation is "the nail/stake that sticks up will be hammered down" aka "those who stand out will be subject to criticism" ... which is kind of sad, but also makes sense in cases like this. (originality with fashion however is different, if harajuku fashions are anything to go by) there is also the saying "Minu ga hana." which translates "not seeing is a flower" and means "reality can't compete with imagination" - the same can be said for fiction. These guys will never get a girl because they expect actual women to be like anime girls lmao

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That mentality of hsmmerbthe mail that sticks up is probably why the suicide rate is so high in Japan, conform or get pummrled into conforming. Sad

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ProductofNZ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many weebs are bitterly disappointed when they visit japan. Sorry, it's not the anime utopia you thought it was.

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KatKaleen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People proudly calling themselves "Otaku" make me shake my head. That's a derogatory term in Japan. Manga and anime are commonplace in Japan, but people who fetishise it to such ridiculous degrees are looked down upon.

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Malakai
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

....I'd like to point out that dakimakura is of a 12 YEAR OLD GIRL. Just for added WTF factor.

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InfectedVoice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those pillows are a little bit strange, clearly children, why are they on body pillows to snuggle, you sad pathetic waste of organs.

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Heather Rea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd be surprised how many characters look either much older or much much younger than they really are in anime. There are some animes where 40+ year old women look like they're 12. And some where 12 year old girls look like they're 30.

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Goth mouse (they/them)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF these poor people need help if theyre basically married to a cushion 🤯

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Requiem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conan went there and dressed way crazier, was all bought at a store in Japan

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Syd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely true, but that's a difference between a fashion culture vs a sort of fetishism. You can quite literally walk thru the streets in that area and decipher the differences without using someone's race. And when it's the latter, they stand out like a sore thumb.

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TheKnightOwl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who enjoys anime and manga, don't assume we're all like this.

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think people who do this are just plain and simple attention getters, no one gives a damn about what your into. I don't think you should impose it on anyone else for attentions sake!

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*every cunard liner whistle at once because a single tugboat isn't enough*

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say live and let live. If pink haired anime characters are this persons thing, who am I to judge???

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LarryJCollie
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2 years ago

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#5

Just A Friendly Reminder!

Just A Friendly Reminder!

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are so many pics of signs like this! What is the connection between anime and bad hygiene, why??

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#6

Graphs Don't Lie

Graphs Don't Lie

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The fitness expert told Bored Panda that if someone's dissatisfied with their life and their health, they need to "get very clear on the CHOICE" they have to make. "You can endure the pain of workouts and different eating habits OR you can endure the pain of obesity, brain fog, poor mood, early death, low energy, medical bills, and low confidence."

He added: "It isn’t much of a choice at the end of the day."

How neckbeards are defined entirely depends on who you ask about them. For some, they’re anime-loving, fake katana-wielding dorks who dream about living in Japan. For others, they’re arrogant jerks and 'incels' who see themselves as better than everyone else and have a sense of entitlement that few can match. Often, neckbeards portray themselves as gentlemen, philosophers, and men of culture. Often… they’re anything but.

#7

Say It Again Louder For The People At The Back

Say It Again Louder For The People At The Back

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#8

Accurate

Accurate

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Vic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

.. he moved the bags of chips and cheese dipped nachos to get to the microwave..

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#9

A Nice Shot Of The Pastor Who Told Wives To Lose Weight And Look More Feminine

A Nice Shot Of The Pastor Who Told Wives To Lose Weight And Look More Feminine

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Others still associate neckbeards mostly with their exterior characteristics. The iconic fedora. The baggy suits. The overweight physiques. The slightly (fine, fine, more than just ‘slightly’) weird obsession with the ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon. And, of course, the scruffy, unkempt beards on their necks that are a modern version of what’s popular among the Amish community in the US. Each of these things doesn’t mean much in isolation, but when taken together, they paint a picture of someone who may need to work very hard to improve their life.

The r/justneckbeardthings subreddit has been active since late June of 2013 and recently celebrated its 8th birthday.

The moderators have got only 4 rules that members need to follow, including avoiding reposts (“Reposts are for losers,” they explain), not being a neckbeard on Reddit, being nice to turtles (here are a couple of possible explanations for the phrase), and avoiding sharing any and all personal info. Sure, the subreddit might be all about mocking neckbeards, but the mods point out that they don’t want to see any bullying or witch-hunts.

#10

It’s Hard Out Here For A Neckbeard Trying To Find The Proper M’lady

It’s Hard Out Here For A Neckbeard Trying To Find The Proper M’lady

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#12

Local Board Game Shop Fighting Back The Neckbeards

Local Board Game Shop Fighting Back The Neckbeards

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“At the core, neckbeards’ inflated egos and misogynistic attitudes towards women serve as a coping mechanism for personal insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. Such an attitude allows them to place the blame for their failed social interactions on others rather than undertake self-examination and improvement,” writes Urban Dictionary.

“Copious amounts of Mountain Dew, Doritos, video games, and a sedentary lifestyle are all additional hallmarks of the neckbeard ethos.”

#13

Revenge Of The Nerd

Revenge Of The Nerd

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're so delusional that you think "Leave me alone, creep" is asking for a date.

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#14

My Doctoral Thesis

My Doctoral Thesis

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#15

Hi Beautiful

Hi Beautiful

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to sit in on the court case just to watch the judge try not to laugh in the guys face.

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Meanwhile, another entry in Urban Dictionary describes neckbeards as “talkative, self-important nerdy men (usually age 30 and up) who, through an inability to properly decode social cues, mistake others' strained tolerance of their blather for evidence of their own charm.”

[Tips fedora] “M’panda.”

#16

Females Deserted Us

Females Deserted Us

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zims
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny they picked Denethor when Wormtongue is the canon incel. XD

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#17

When Your Euphoria Hits Other Players

When Your Euphoria Hits Other Players

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OCDRobot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner used to work at a game store and would run MTG games for free on his off time. The way they would thanklessly trash the store every time was infuriating. There was one day he went into the bathroom and there was just piss all over the place. He stopped the entire tourney and made them all come into the bathroom to look at the mess, then had to explain to the group of "grown" men how to properly piss in a toilet. Don't even get me started on the smell in there during those times.

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#18

Just Chilling In Moms Basement

Just Chilling In Moms Basement

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I knew there would be a bong! This table exists in so many rooms around the world

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#19

How Do You Go 62 Days Without A Shower??

How Do You Go 62 Days Without A Shower??

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People said things all right, but he didn't hear them because they all stayed 200 yards away.

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#20

Hopefully This Brings As Much Joy To You As It Did Me. 100% My Brother And His Friends

Hopefully This Brings As Much Joy To You As It Did Me. 100% My Brother And His Friends

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people might. But most bullying victims are just chosen because they dont have friends or defend them. Bullies find any excuse to bully others. Height, sex, weight, intelligence level...

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#21

I Can Respect That

I Can Respect That

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only one man can pull off a fedora, and he's also rocking a leather jacket and bullwhip

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#22

Not Even Satan Wants Neckbeards

Not Even Satan Wants Neckbeards

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even Satan has had to put up signs reminding people to have showers 🤦‍♀️

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#23

If You Want A "Strong" Woman, You're Gay!

If You Want A "Strong" Woman, You're Gay!

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#24

Wanna Hear A Scary Story, M'lady?

Wanna Hear A Scary Story, M'lady?

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Eithne Griffiths
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A guy once said to me,What would you do if we were the last two people on earth? I looked him in the eye and said, I would kill myself.

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#25

I Wonder What She Did

I Wonder What She Did

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#26

F You Then

F You Then

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who calls themselves a "nice guy" or "gentleman" is lying.

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#28

My Boyfriend And I Dressed As A Neckbeard And His Waifu For Halloween

My Boyfriend And I Dressed As A Neckbeard And His Waifu For Halloween

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#30

So Accurate It Hurts

So Accurate It Hurts

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Kevin Gerke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is probably super confusing without knowing the reference. There was an episode of Rick and Morty where Rick went off on a tangent about the sauce when it was available at McDonalds years ago. McDonalds rolled with the sudden interest in the sauce and brought some back very briefly. Some Rick and Morty fans got super excited about it.

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