Dad Misses His Daughter’s Wedding Because He Wanted To Walk His Stepdaughter Down The Aisle, Now His Daughter Won’t Talk To Him
A man left his daughter disappointed and angry after he missed most of her wedding because he had attended his stepdaughter’s instead.
The man, Reddit user OddRip2252, posted his story on r/AITA, saying that he did everything in his power to please them both: his stepdaughter sent out a save-the-date for her wedding, and then his daughter sent out her own a week later.
But the problem was they both fell on the same weekend, with the stepdaughter’s wedding taking place a day before the daughter’s, and both had requested that the man walk them down the aisle.
Even though they were a 13-hour drive apart, the man thought he could attend both. However, he didn’t account for getting lost and spending so much of his precious time in traffic.
The man ultimately turned to Reddit to speak of his unimaginable dilemma, and ask if “he was the ***hole” in the situation or not.
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
After the story went viral, people had many questions, so OddRip2252 decided to make a comment and address a few points.
“Yes, I didn’t know about dates until my stepdaughter announced hers,” he said. “My daughter was invited to stepdaughter’s wedding but obviously she couldn’t attend.”
“Now I am regretting not leaving earlier. But my close friend’s wife who helped plan my stepdaughter’s wedding told me it’s extremely rude for the father of the bride to leave early. It was a mistake listening to her,” the Redditor explained.
He did believe a 2-hour buffer would be enough. Especially since he took traffic into consideration. “I just didn’t expect to get lost and for traffic to be worse than normal.”
Quite a few people have also asked why didn’t he book a flight. After all, money didn’t seem to be an issue; he gave his daughter and her husband enough to go to Japan.
“A flight would’ve taken longer because of the drive to and from the airport,” he explained.
The majority of commenters said OddRip2252 was a jerk for handling the situation the way he did. What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
People, in fact, think he was the ***hole
My first reaction was "NTA" since he tried to be there for both his daughters. I don't think it's relevant that one daughter isn't his biological one. He has been her dad from age 2. And he tried to be there for both weddings. But after letting it sink in for a few moments, I think he could have done better. You always have to count in bad traffic (due to accidents, weather etc.). So he should at least have added some additional hours to his estimated time. Or he could have just booked a flight. Even if his biological daughter seemed a little crazy before, that is probably due to years and years of incidents where she felt her father chose the stepdaughter over her. Even if he says he didn't, it is very real and true for her. On a site note: It's never a good idea to deny someone's feelings. And then I remembered how my father didn't show up for my graduation from art school cause he decided his resentment for my mother was more important than being there for me.
I agree, the two daughters don't talk to each other so I'm not sure that dates were set like that on purpose. They also never even considered going to each other's weddings. He had the option to say to step daughter that once he's walked her down the aisle that he had to leave for his other daughters wedding. Whilst it may have upset SD that he could not stay he would've been there for both important parts of both weddings. This probably follows a pattern of behaviour since they were little, bigger better birthdays, holidays that were convenient for SD and not daughter meaning BD got left out etc etc
then he would do the father daughter dance with one but not the other his intentions seemed like it wasnt just the walking down the aisle situation he wanted to b there for both of them. so if he left after the ceremony the step daughter wouldnt dance with him but his biological would. plus they never say if he got there in time to dance with his biological daughter or if she just refused to do so. theres alot more to the story then we r being told
I was going to go with NTA until 1) he stayed at the first event until 10pm and 2) expected to drive through the night to be tired for the second rather than take a plane which he obviously could afford if he could gift the couple a trip to Japan. It's almost as if he deliberately set himself up for failure with a narrative he could spin in his favor, so I have little doubt that this was just one more incident in a long pattern of behavior.
There were probably no flights at that time. Whinytwit deliberately chose that weekend to create this situation. NO ONE gets married on a Sunday. She CHOSE that. There was plenty of advance notice for her to change the date, but one she found out the stepdaughter chose that weekend she HAD to screw things up. ...///... She's a spiteful little tick who is showing everyone what she is. I hope her husband is taking note.
A lot of people get married on a Sunday. Jews, for example. Or people who want a venue but that venue is already booked for the Saturday.
Messy, I hope you don't have children or any children in your life. You're a mean-hearted twit.
Perhaps, but lots of people have Sunday weddings and a one week turn around on printing and mailing "save the date" cards is pretty quick if she did wait until her step sister announced her date. Also, I would think he would have mentioned that he couldn't get a flight if that were the case.
as a minister's daughter, most churches do not schedule weddings on Sundays.. that's when services are held
I was going to say, I’m quite sure, in the Catholic Church anyway, weddings are not permitted on Sundays. It may be different for other faiths, though, I’m not sure, may their Day of Rest or Sabbath is not a day set aside for wedding ceremonies...?!
Exactly!
Yeah, he could have done better. If it's true that there was no flight that would have been faster, his options were: 1) Leave the stepdaughter's reception much earlier, or 2) Lay down the law and tell them BOTH to change the dates... because telling one daughter to change and not the other would have caused a shitstorm.
changing ur date can b a pain and u can lose money plus the venue u want may not have the available date u want. i had to change my venue bc of covid and bc the venue didnt have a date available in the month we wanted and the way his biological daughter acts i dont think shed listen to him even if he step daughter did change it
As I've never planned a big wedding I don't know: Does one send out "save the date" notices before or after one's given non-refundable money to the venue? Because if it's after, he either needed to tell whichever bride picked the date second to change it, or he needed to leave the damn reception early like a sensible person. I just hope he left sober.
I think whoever announced the date first, or booked it first, should have been given ‘preference’. If the BD went and booked the next day, sent out her save-the-dates a week later, and expected her father to pick her over the stepdaughter, that’s a bit of a red flag, and luring him into a fight as well...
"I saw my daughter less than my stepdaughter" suggests his daughter grew up with her mother and his stepdaughter lived with him. I can see why his daughter would feel resentful unless dad was making extra effort when he did see her. Everytime she visited, the natural, comfortable father-daughter relationship the other girl had would have hurt, while she maybe felt like a visitor. The dad needed to try harder - either help one of the daughter's move her wedding date or, like many have said, leave the first wedding a lot earlier.
good intention but poor planning,,,leaving early and/or flying would be the common sense.
This is about so much more than just a wedding: its just the representation of all of the daughters frustrations
kelya...if it gets so wet get an umbrella for your cat. Cats hate water. (Obviously kidding...I know what the bot means)
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yup and shes taking it out on the father and step daughter. there r multiple parts of the story that prove that. like they dont talk to each other yet the step daughter purposly made her wedding the day before. how is that possible? he gets lost and she sees it as he likes his step daughter more. like come on he tried to get to ur wedding on time chill. her grudge addiction is the biggest proof she clearly had multiple grudges and this gave her a reason to let her anger loose. i dont think his biological daughter is stable. i mean if ur issue is with ur father y have ur friends harassass his step daughter and son in law. its like she wants attention but going the problem child route to get it. she had no right to harass his step daughter let alone have her friends do it as well thats going too far
Actually if the dad already knew his daughter was resentful of his relationship with his stepdaughter and knew how much she wanted him to walk her down the aisle, then he would've been there. He made a very obvious choice who he loves more, his stepdaughter
I think the dates were an accident. The daughter called straight away, it's unlikely that she could have been lying about her date and then orchestrated it to work out in time for her Save The Dates a week later.
Save the dates take ages to get from the printer. Especially if you’re using photos from an engagement shoot for them. You usually have the date booked at the hall and place of worship and deposits given too. SD knew the date of BD and booked her after she found out the date from dad or someone else in the house.
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My pu︆︆ssy gets so wet, look at ....✅✅ Wanna come inside? >> g︆︆︆︆g.︆︆︆︆gg/profile9421
Please take this garbage somewhere else.
Jeez, I hate those bots.
Whether it was a test, deliberate or whatever, the dad could easily have left before 10pm. The actual wedding is the important part. Yeh, you want to be there for the meals, the party, the whole day but if you HAVE to be somewhere else, you gotta do that. I went to a wedding one day (which had a stupid breakfast the next day and had to drive 4 hours back home to go to another wedding reception - worked it out that as long as we left by 12, we had 6-7 hours before the reception started (and it was so informal people drifted in and out anyway). So Dad is the AH for not planning ahead - not a malicious AH but given the history, I'd had left plenty of time to avoid this situation
That was my thought too, why did he leave so late? With something as important as this I wouldn't have left it to chance.
I think he was trying to not favour one over the other. He planned to attend both weddings fully so that neither of them could use it over the other. If he left early for his daughters wedding the stepdaughter would have been upset that he didn't attend her whole wedding but attending the daughters whole wedding. He was trying to make it competitive equal.
I agree, and also, not like he didn't have the money for a plane ticket. He talks about the large amount of money he gave his bio daughter for Japan. So.... leave early and take a damn plane?
This is a really good point.
I disagree, I believe he tried his very best to attend both weddings, hindsight in this case is he didn't get there on time for the ceremony but was able (I'm assuming) to attend the reception, the man couldn't have predicted that he would get lost along the way. He did say he thought he was hoping to arrive 2 hours before the wedding in order to freshen up and included traffic in his calculations, so he clearly did plan ahead. NTA
My first reaction was "NTA" since he tried to be there for both his daughters. I don't think it's relevant that one daughter isn't his biological one. He has been her dad from age 2. And he tried to be there for both weddings. But after letting it sink in for a few moments, I think he could have done better. You always have to count in bad traffic (due to accidents, weather etc.). So he should at least have added some additional hours to his estimated time. Or he could have just booked a flight. Even if his biological daughter seemed a little crazy before, that is probably due to years and years of incidents where she felt her father chose the stepdaughter over her. Even if he says he didn't, it is very real and true for her. On a site note: It's never a good idea to deny someone's feelings. And then I remembered how my father didn't show up for my graduation from art school cause he decided his resentment for my mother was more important than being there for me.
I agree, the two daughters don't talk to each other so I'm not sure that dates were set like that on purpose. They also never even considered going to each other's weddings. He had the option to say to step daughter that once he's walked her down the aisle that he had to leave for his other daughters wedding. Whilst it may have upset SD that he could not stay he would've been there for both important parts of both weddings. This probably follows a pattern of behaviour since they were little, bigger better birthdays, holidays that were convenient for SD and not daughter meaning BD got left out etc etc
then he would do the father daughter dance with one but not the other his intentions seemed like it wasnt just the walking down the aisle situation he wanted to b there for both of them. so if he left after the ceremony the step daughter wouldnt dance with him but his biological would. plus they never say if he got there in time to dance with his biological daughter or if she just refused to do so. theres alot more to the story then we r being told
I was going to go with NTA until 1) he stayed at the first event until 10pm and 2) expected to drive through the night to be tired for the second rather than take a plane which he obviously could afford if he could gift the couple a trip to Japan. It's almost as if he deliberately set himself up for failure with a narrative he could spin in his favor, so I have little doubt that this was just one more incident in a long pattern of behavior.
There were probably no flights at that time. Whinytwit deliberately chose that weekend to create this situation. NO ONE gets married on a Sunday. She CHOSE that. There was plenty of advance notice for her to change the date, but one she found out the stepdaughter chose that weekend she HAD to screw things up. ...///... She's a spiteful little tick who is showing everyone what she is. I hope her husband is taking note.
A lot of people get married on a Sunday. Jews, for example. Or people who want a venue but that venue is already booked for the Saturday.
Messy, I hope you don't have children or any children in your life. You're a mean-hearted twit.
Perhaps, but lots of people have Sunday weddings and a one week turn around on printing and mailing "save the date" cards is pretty quick if she did wait until her step sister announced her date. Also, I would think he would have mentioned that he couldn't get a flight if that were the case.
as a minister's daughter, most churches do not schedule weddings on Sundays.. that's when services are held
I was going to say, I’m quite sure, in the Catholic Church anyway, weddings are not permitted on Sundays. It may be different for other faiths, though, I’m not sure, may their Day of Rest or Sabbath is not a day set aside for wedding ceremonies...?!
Exactly!
Yeah, he could have done better. If it's true that there was no flight that would have been faster, his options were: 1) Leave the stepdaughter's reception much earlier, or 2) Lay down the law and tell them BOTH to change the dates... because telling one daughter to change and not the other would have caused a shitstorm.
changing ur date can b a pain and u can lose money plus the venue u want may not have the available date u want. i had to change my venue bc of covid and bc the venue didnt have a date available in the month we wanted and the way his biological daughter acts i dont think shed listen to him even if he step daughter did change it
As I've never planned a big wedding I don't know: Does one send out "save the date" notices before or after one's given non-refundable money to the venue? Because if it's after, he either needed to tell whichever bride picked the date second to change it, or he needed to leave the damn reception early like a sensible person. I just hope he left sober.
I think whoever announced the date first, or booked it first, should have been given ‘preference’. If the BD went and booked the next day, sent out her save-the-dates a week later, and expected her father to pick her over the stepdaughter, that’s a bit of a red flag, and luring him into a fight as well...
"I saw my daughter less than my stepdaughter" suggests his daughter grew up with her mother and his stepdaughter lived with him. I can see why his daughter would feel resentful unless dad was making extra effort when he did see her. Everytime she visited, the natural, comfortable father-daughter relationship the other girl had would have hurt, while she maybe felt like a visitor. The dad needed to try harder - either help one of the daughter's move her wedding date or, like many have said, leave the first wedding a lot earlier.
good intention but poor planning,,,leaving early and/or flying would be the common sense.
This is about so much more than just a wedding: its just the representation of all of the daughters frustrations
kelya...if it gets so wet get an umbrella for your cat. Cats hate water. (Obviously kidding...I know what the bot means)
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yup and shes taking it out on the father and step daughter. there r multiple parts of the story that prove that. like they dont talk to each other yet the step daughter purposly made her wedding the day before. how is that possible? he gets lost and she sees it as he likes his step daughter more. like come on he tried to get to ur wedding on time chill. her grudge addiction is the biggest proof she clearly had multiple grudges and this gave her a reason to let her anger loose. i dont think his biological daughter is stable. i mean if ur issue is with ur father y have ur friends harassass his step daughter and son in law. its like she wants attention but going the problem child route to get it. she had no right to harass his step daughter let alone have her friends do it as well thats going too far
Actually if the dad already knew his daughter was resentful of his relationship with his stepdaughter and knew how much she wanted him to walk her down the aisle, then he would've been there. He made a very obvious choice who he loves more, his stepdaughter
I think the dates were an accident. The daughter called straight away, it's unlikely that she could have been lying about her date and then orchestrated it to work out in time for her Save The Dates a week later.
Save the dates take ages to get from the printer. Especially if you’re using photos from an engagement shoot for them. You usually have the date booked at the hall and place of worship and deposits given too. SD knew the date of BD and booked her after she found out the date from dad or someone else in the house.
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My pu︆︆ssy gets so wet, look at ....✅✅ Wanna come inside? >> g︆︆︆︆g.︆︆︆︆gg/profile9421
Please take this garbage somewhere else.
Jeez, I hate those bots.
Whether it was a test, deliberate or whatever, the dad could easily have left before 10pm. The actual wedding is the important part. Yeh, you want to be there for the meals, the party, the whole day but if you HAVE to be somewhere else, you gotta do that. I went to a wedding one day (which had a stupid breakfast the next day and had to drive 4 hours back home to go to another wedding reception - worked it out that as long as we left by 12, we had 6-7 hours before the reception started (and it was so informal people drifted in and out anyway). So Dad is the AH for not planning ahead - not a malicious AH but given the history, I'd had left plenty of time to avoid this situation
That was my thought too, why did he leave so late? With something as important as this I wouldn't have left it to chance.
I think he was trying to not favour one over the other. He planned to attend both weddings fully so that neither of them could use it over the other. If he left early for his daughters wedding the stepdaughter would have been upset that he didn't attend her whole wedding but attending the daughters whole wedding. He was trying to make it competitive equal.
I agree, and also, not like he didn't have the money for a plane ticket. He talks about the large amount of money he gave his bio daughter for Japan. So.... leave early and take a damn plane?
This is a really good point.
I disagree, I believe he tried his very best to attend both weddings, hindsight in this case is he didn't get there on time for the ceremony but was able (I'm assuming) to attend the reception, the man couldn't have predicted that he would get lost along the way. He did say he thought he was hoping to arrive 2 hours before the wedding in order to freshen up and included traffic in his calculations, so he clearly did plan ahead. NTA