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Millennials Are Slowly Turning Middle-Aged And Here Are 30 Of The Funniest Things They Caught Themselves Saying Or Doing, As Shared In This Online Group
In every millennial's life, there is that one day and that one time that you say something to yourself or out loud and then stop for a second in awe. Whatever the sentence was, you couldn’t have imagined saying it unless, well, you’re middle-aged. Be it “I am looking forward to going to bed” or “Why is the music so loud in here?!” and then all of a sudden, the moment of realization hits and the lightbulb switches on: I am definitely ageing. And before you change your mind from getting takeout to actually going home and cooking the chicken that’s been sitting in your fridge for a few days now, take a look at the list below of the best things people have caught themselves saying that made them realize they’re slowly knocking at the middle-aged people's door.
The online community r/AskReddit, labelling themselves as “the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions,” was a perfect platform for the user naxxfish to fire it out to the millennials: “What was the most middle-aged thing you caught yourself saying recently?” And, well, the answers were ranging from hilarious to hysterical to "I can actually totally relate." Vote for your favorite ones and let us know yours!
More info: Reddit
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That's a nice box, keep it.
I've done this my whole life. (i used them to store markers and pens and other random crap i kept in my room)
Not something I said but I just stood out on my porch this morning drinking my coffee and someone drove by pretty fast and I thought “that’s way too fast”
I tried listening to the iTunes top 100 yesterday for a change of pace and it all sounded like hot garbage, “WHAT ARE KIDS EVEN LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?!”
Scrolling through my Spotify and constantly asking who the hell are these people?
Okay but seriously who the hell are they? Like i've never listened to them why tf do they keep showing up
I slept wrong and haven’t been able to turn my head for three days.
i did this and i am gen-z.................it hurt so bad ;-; I was in total pain and i lied in bed for days
You want to go out for dinner? Oh no, I can’t; I have chicken in the fridge that I have to cook before it goes bad
This could also be a young person thing because a lot of young people are broke.
"Oh no thank, you. I can't have caffeine this late in the day or I'll never get to sleep tonight."
My spouse was offering me the last soda from the fridge. It was 1pm.
I was venting to a coworker about these noisy bastards living next to me. I actually said the words, “goddamn teenagers and their Bluetooth machines”. I stand by my admonition but man it was my greatest age leap forward since I embraced the sensible Toyota.
Had a riveting conversation with some friends about the best office chairs for lumbar support.
Hey, I personally think everything needs lumbar support. I'm 15 and I don't know what a lumbar is but I do know they need support!
Wanted to buy a snack and then thought, "no, I have food at home"
Some kids ran through my lawn the other day. I'm still recovering.
When my wife asked if there was anything she need to pick up at the store, and I responded: "I think we're out of asparagus."
Not sure what foul demon possessed me to to say those words.
My housemate: you want a drink?
Me: Nah, man. I haven't had a drink in... six months maybe? More?
My housemate: You stopped drinking?
Me: I'm not SOBER or anything, it's just that alcohol makes me sleepy.
Geez... am I millenial-ing wrong? *sips on 3rd beer of the evening while home, alone, reading boredpanda*
Alcohol is a planned event for me now...When I was in my 20's I could drink a lot more, stay up a lot later, and be fine the next day. Now, I need the day after a night of drinking off to recover (mentally and physically).
Absolutely agree, 3 days i have to have after a drink. Its not worth it. Its all types of drinks now instead of just a select few like it used to be.. I hate growing old.
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Same. I am alway have and always do go sleep instead of being intresting as a drunk.
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Really sux when I'm half way through my first drink and the hangover starts BEFORE I fall asleep ...
Alcohol makes me so sleepy too! This is definitely an age thing. One of the few “yikes I’m getting old” things on here. Can’t do it the same as in your 20s
It's the hangover for me in my twenties I could drink like a fish wake up fresher than a daisy and drink again now when I drink I honestly re think my life choices the night before and vow never to make the same mistake again at the same time trying not to die it takes like a full week to recover plus the house is a mess my diet is out the window and life in general sucks lol f**k hangovers
Not really. alcohol doesn't actually help you sleep. just, makes you drowsy. The sleep quality is way worse, though.
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Yes!!! One beer after dinner and I'll be asleep in 30 minutes while my body tries to process everything.
My 29 yo daughter also hates it. Never drinks. Nothing wrong with that.
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i used to drink so much when i was a young teen, then drank again when i was in uni, now just a few years after uni just half a glass of beer sends me to sleep XD i don't have solid sleep but it gives me an amazing nap! ( knowing i can't hold my liquor, i don't drink outside of home of course)
For me it's the hangover. When I was at university, I could go all night and still turn up for lectures in the morning. Now I'll have a few beers and the hangover lasts three days (1 day of proper hangover, 1 day of sleeping off whatever hours you lost in the night and 1 day of feeling a bit spaced out still).
Why do I get up every day and crack like a glow stick with out the glow it’s so disappointing.
"They just don't make them like they used to" them being good wood dressers
"When you leave a room, turn the light OFF!"
I've become my dad.....
"Can the kids (in the park outside) shut up"
I am the grumpy old lady now.
I can't fix one thing in my house without at least 15 minutes of complaining about the previous owners handiwork.
Like the nincompoop previous owner who installed fluorescent undercabinet lighting in 1993 using screws which were too long and penetrated through the bottom shelf of the cabinet and then just left them like that for 25 years.
I slapped a crate I had strapped onto the back of my car and said "This isn't going anywhere"
Quit touching the god damn thermostat, you’re driving the bill up.
In a conversation with a friend "I managed to find a really good knife block recently..."
I had my bachelor party in Vegas recently.
I went to bed because I was tired, not because I was sloppy drunk like every other time I went to Vegas. Fml I’m old now
“No, I’m okay. It just takes my back a little while to loosen up in the morning.”
"I can't have curry after 6 or I'll have heartburn all night."
"I will never financially recover from this"
Said after turning off yet another light left on in my home
"This younger generation...no one wants to do hard work. Call in for a sniffle. Someone asked on Sunday for us to put in Sicktime for the upcoming Saturday...cause she doesn't want to work on Saturday. They don't make workers like they used to." I'm 40. My 80 year old grandfather started to laugh.
Uhhh this pandemic is proof we shouldn't shame people for calling in sick or with a sniffle. People should rest when they are sick. Life's too short to compromise health for work. The problem is people can't afford to take a break and the irony is it makes them worse workers not better
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My friends and I have great conversations about what are good appliances, and how exciting said good appliances are. Particularly good vacuum cleaners, a good vacuum is amazing.
I just had this conversation with some friends of mine from high school. The head cheerleader was asking the cool goth girl of our group what she thought about the new Dyson and I'm chirping about how nothing can beat my 10 year old Kirby that weighs as much as my first car.
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I just recently spent an hour, yes an hour, comparing the various types of different mattress protectors... the quality, the thickness, the fabric, the price etc. AN HOUR. When I finally decided on which one I wanted I came home like a child at Christmas... stripped the bed instantly so I could put it on. I even phoned my friend in Melbourne to tell him about it because he, too, is in the market for a decent mattress protector. When the hell did this happen?
I recently moved into a new condo that I'm renting, I'm flat broke due to the move, and my mom (who doesn't have much money herself) sent me new sheets, a comforter, pillowcases and a super comfy mattress pad as a surprise early birthday present. I literally jumped for joy. And pulled something in my back in the process.
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Eeek! I recognize a few symptoms of millennialism. Is that a word?
Went to an amusement park - realized my head didn't like roller coasters anymore. Said to my friends, "Are there any shows we can go to?"
Might have gotten mild whiplash on the Corkscrew at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. Headache, nausea, stiff neck, etc. Never happened BEFORE 35...
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I refuse to throw away old chargers, instruction manuals for devices I know completely how to work, packets of nails/ screws with only 2 or 3 left in them, weird things I find lying around the house that look important but I have no idea what they are used for etc 'just in case'. They're all kept in a drawer in the kitchen which I call "dads drawer" but which my wife calls "the drawer of useless crap!"
Ah, yes, or as my hubby calls it, "My wife's closet." And, FYI, that toilet tank top I saved? Very handy when someone (hubby) dropped the tank's lid so I could fix the "weird noise". Ha! Never useless! Never! *maniacal laughter*..... Also, those manuals come in oddly handy.
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Getting excited when you order a new gadget, i.e. a hoover, mop, kettle, hairdryer
I had a thing for "containers" - small trinket boxes, itty bitty boxes made of woods or shell or ceramic, etc., from the time I was in first or second grade. I collected them and put things in them and sometimes put the cute little boxes into the bigger cute little boxes... Lol, by the time I was in college I had graduated (ha ha) to "I can't throw this actually useful cardboard box away - it's too good a box!" Oh, boxes, how I love you...
When people give me presents I save the box if it's nice, thinking "This a can use for someone's birthday in the future".
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humph, you kids wait until you are kneeling on the floor and wonder how you're going to stand up again.
From a Gen Xer....don't feel bad about these things (except the physical stuff). Once you survive your 20's and you're no longer a drunk freeloading moron, you become responsible for your own life, and your perspective changes. It's called maturity.
Instead of trolling around clothing stores and getting our nails done or something my sister and I went to Michael's to buy yarn on sale because I've taken up knitting and went to Lowe's and Home Depot to look at appliances to replace to one's in the houses we own. We had a very interesting and long conversation about why fridges being connected to wifi be stupid and the pros and cons of counter depth fridges. Then we went and had salads for lunch instead of cheese burgers because or metabolisms aren't what they use to be and drove away in our Toyotas. I'm 28 and she's 29 lol
Gen X here - I once told my friend we had to rewind the VHS before returning it to Blockbuster.
I was in a white goods store a few years ago with my fiancé when he showed me a cool gadget and I said "yeah it looks cool, but look at it! Those bits don't come apart so it would be a nightmare to clean!" I could've sworn it was my mother but she was a few hundred kms away.
Not sure if this counts but my fiance and I love to go antiquing. My last trip was over 200 dollars but i got a box worth of stuff including 2 coke glasses that look like the old fountain glasses with metal handle and everything. I also like buying vintage records. They sound so nice.
Maybe they’ll finally realize boomers aren’t bad. Filthy rich people are.
well, no boomers in general aren't bad. The problem that millennials (used to) have was essentially the same issue that the generation between them and the one after millennials have with each other --- that pattern. It's far easier to notice the differences and contrast with them than it is to accept them.
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Told my kids to turn that damn rap crap down and the next day I blasting 2 PAC and they said the same thing to me I said this is not crap, this is a classic and besides, 2 PAC is different, he's still alive. Lol
Lets see....last yr we got super excited about getting a new stove. And 2 days ago i pulled a rib muscle leaning over to count something in a low cabinet. Ive had my share! Lol!
Smh... Some of these comments. I wonder what you'll think 15-20 years from now.
Oh yes indeed, there is so much more to come. Wait until you can't sleep at all, wait until you have to get up in the middle of the night to poop. Wait until every visit to the doctors ends up with you having to take another new tablet. So much fun times ahead for you guys. lol.
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Wait 2 days, you'll wake up at 40 and be like wtf happened!?
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Wow, feels good to read. Cause I'm born in 1987 and I don't recognize myself in any of this.
And for me it's: I can't have that coffee after 8pm or I'll be awake all night!! Laugh and learn youngsters - this WILL be you one day :)
As a kid, I was always disappointed that my mom made sandwiches for road trips, instead of getting to go to McDonalds off the highway. Last long drive with my partner: "honey, I have sandwiches, grapes and banana bread. What do you want?" I then stopped talking as it dawned on me: I have turned into my mother. (Which is great, because she is absolutely incredible)
Why do people insist on commenting on every entry? Are they desperate to see their names in print? Why do they insist on pointing that this stuff happens to everyone? Well, duh, but let's try to keep our boats on the same river, people: don't read entries for how you would react, but how the person who wrote it felt and why. Try re-reading the title or maybe the explanatory paragraphs at the beginning. One last thing: your "joke comments", generally aren't. Thank you. I feel better.
We get to an age when our bodies start to wear out and this is most of what makes me 'feel old' Some of it is nostalgia for the music of my youth but I truly believe that this generation is the best so far. They've been on the frontline during this pandemic and kept all of us safe, they haven't complained and they have stepped up and made things happen. Us 'oldies' should be more grateful..
I was about 30 years old when I discovered that you get to wait for about 3 seconds before you actually start to pee. Now I'm used to it.
Millennials are literally in their 30s to 20s overall. Lol they are not slowly turning middle age right now and are the definition of young adults.
I was offered the senior discount at the grocery store (pre pandemic, no mask) I was 35 at the time.
Guys, we've all become the people from that insurance commercial. You know, the ones that go to those classes that guy teaches, so they can learn how not to become their parents? Yeah, that's us!! 😭😂🤣😂🤣
Or the "Now when I wave to someone, the underpart of my arm flaps too."
I realized I had crossed over to the adult side when I saw two little kids playing leapfrog, and instead of thinking 'aww that looks like fun', I thought 'one of them will miss and land on the other kid, and then they'll start fighting'.
I work with kids and have to break up arguments, and have learned to intervene before they start to fight, but I didn't even know these kids.
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Boomennials But yeah i like how it mostly turns out to recycle stuff, stop wasting food that would rather go to waste, and being aware of annoying stuff u used to do so u stop doing.
Omg I feel this! I find myself constantly grumbling about the "youth of today" who are all somehow stepping out on their own with no clue about living as an adult. They have no idea how to do housework, have terrible work ethics, and don't know how household bills work. Its so weird because I'm literally only in the late 20s and am talking about 17-22 year olds. Theres literally about a 10 year difference max.
20’s bragging about who closed the bar, 50’s bragging about who went to bed before 10
My grown son has been sending me pictures of my "grand baby plants"! He is trying to grown his own garden for the first time.
And now the millennials who've spent the last decade blaming boomers for everything bad can listen to the Gen Zers and whoever comes after that blaming them for everything bad...
I'm a millinial but even 10 years ago these where relatable to me, I guess I'm an old soul 😅. But seriously who doesn't like sleeping /going to bed because you are tired?!
FINALLY! Millenials know how GenX felt when we had to deal with them all these years.
Using a Copy machine "You used to tell it how many copies you wanted and press copy!"
Me (a 14 year old): my back, hip, knees hurt Also me: *run straight into a wall four times within the hour*
I'd add one more thing, but it will probably get me banned for being sexist
My retirement plan has always been to have a house with an attic, and to get an air rifle, then shoot at the gnome statues in my lawn the middle of the night while shouting "GET OFF MY LAWN!" Then I'll call the police the next morning to complain about the kids trashing my front yard again.
"This younger generation...no one wants to do hard work. Call in for a sniffle. Someone asked on Sunday for us to put in Sicktime for the upcoming Saturday...cause she doesn't want to work on Saturday. They don't make workers like they used to." I'm 40. My 80 year old grandfather started to laugh.
Uhhh this pandemic is proof we shouldn't shame people for calling in sick or with a sniffle. People should rest when they are sick. Life's too short to compromise health for work. The problem is people can't afford to take a break and the irony is it makes them worse workers not better
Load More Replies... My friends and I have great conversations about what are good appliances, and how exciting said good appliances are. Particularly good vacuum cleaners, a good vacuum is amazing.
I just had this conversation with some friends of mine from high school. The head cheerleader was asking the cool goth girl of our group what she thought about the new Dyson and I'm chirping about how nothing can beat my 10 year old Kirby that weighs as much as my first car.
Load More Replies... I just recently spent an hour, yes an hour, comparing the various types of different mattress protectors... the quality, the thickness, the fabric, the price etc. AN HOUR. When I finally decided on which one I wanted I came home like a child at Christmas... stripped the bed instantly so I could put it on. I even phoned my friend in Melbourne to tell him about it because he, too, is in the market for a decent mattress protector. When the hell did this happen?
I recently moved into a new condo that I'm renting, I'm flat broke due to the move, and my mom (who doesn't have much money herself) sent me new sheets, a comforter, pillowcases and a super comfy mattress pad as a surprise early birthday present. I literally jumped for joy. And pulled something in my back in the process.
Load More Replies... Eeek! I recognize a few symptoms of millennialism. Is that a word?
Went to an amusement park - realized my head didn't like roller coasters anymore. Said to my friends, "Are there any shows we can go to?"
Might have gotten mild whiplash on the Corkscrew at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. Headache, nausea, stiff neck, etc. Never happened BEFORE 35...
Load More Replies... I refuse to throw away old chargers, instruction manuals for devices I know completely how to work, packets of nails/ screws with only 2 or 3 left in them, weird things I find lying around the house that look important but I have no idea what they are used for etc 'just in case'. They're all kept in a drawer in the kitchen which I call "dads drawer" but which my wife calls "the drawer of useless crap!"
Ah, yes, or as my hubby calls it, "My wife's closet." And, FYI, that toilet tank top I saved? Very handy when someone (hubby) dropped the tank's lid so I could fix the "weird noise". Ha! Never useless! Never! *maniacal laughter*..... Also, those manuals come in oddly handy.
Load More Replies... Getting excited when you order a new gadget, i.e. a hoover, mop, kettle, hairdryer
I had a thing for "containers" - small trinket boxes, itty bitty boxes made of woods or shell or ceramic, etc., from the time I was in first or second grade. I collected them and put things in them and sometimes put the cute little boxes into the bigger cute little boxes... Lol, by the time I was in college I had graduated (ha ha) to "I can't throw this actually useful cardboard box away - it's too good a box!" Oh, boxes, how I love you...
When people give me presents I save the box if it's nice, thinking "This a can use for someone's birthday in the future".
Load More Replies... humph, you kids wait until you are kneeling on the floor and wonder how you're going to stand up again.
From a Gen Xer....don't feel bad about these things (except the physical stuff). Once you survive your 20's and you're no longer a drunk freeloading moron, you become responsible for your own life, and your perspective changes. It's called maturity.
Instead of trolling around clothing stores and getting our nails done or something my sister and I went to Michael's to buy yarn on sale because I've taken up knitting and went to Lowe's and Home Depot to look at appliances to replace to one's in the houses we own. We had a very interesting and long conversation about why fridges being connected to wifi be stupid and the pros and cons of counter depth fridges. Then we went and had salads for lunch instead of cheese burgers because or metabolisms aren't what they use to be and drove away in our Toyotas. I'm 28 and she's 29 lol
Gen X here - I once told my friend we had to rewind the VHS before returning it to Blockbuster.
I was in a white goods store a few years ago with my fiancé when he showed me a cool gadget and I said "yeah it looks cool, but look at it! Those bits don't come apart so it would be a nightmare to clean!" I could've sworn it was my mother but she was a few hundred kms away.
Not sure if this counts but my fiance and I love to go antiquing. My last trip was over 200 dollars but i got a box worth of stuff including 2 coke glasses that look like the old fountain glasses with metal handle and everything. I also like buying vintage records. They sound so nice.
Maybe they’ll finally realize boomers aren’t bad. Filthy rich people are.
well, no boomers in general aren't bad. The problem that millennials (used to) have was essentially the same issue that the generation between them and the one after millennials have with each other --- that pattern. It's far easier to notice the differences and contrast with them than it is to accept them.
Load More Replies... Told my kids to turn that damn rap crap down and the next day I blasting 2 PAC and they said the same thing to me I said this is not crap, this is a classic and besides, 2 PAC is different, he's still alive. Lol
Lets see....last yr we got super excited about getting a new stove. And 2 days ago i pulled a rib muscle leaning over to count something in a low cabinet. Ive had my share! Lol!
Smh... Some of these comments. I wonder what you'll think 15-20 years from now.
Oh yes indeed, there is so much more to come. Wait until you can't sleep at all, wait until you have to get up in the middle of the night to poop. Wait until every visit to the doctors ends up with you having to take another new tablet. So much fun times ahead for you guys. lol.
Load More Replies... Wait 2 days, you'll wake up at 40 and be like wtf happened!?
Load More Replies... Wow, feels good to read. Cause I'm born in 1987 and I don't recognize myself in any of this.
And for me it's: I can't have that coffee after 8pm or I'll be awake all night!! Laugh and learn youngsters - this WILL be you one day :)
As a kid, I was always disappointed that my mom made sandwiches for road trips, instead of getting to go to McDonalds off the highway. Last long drive with my partner: "honey, I have sandwiches, grapes and banana bread. What do you want?" I then stopped talking as it dawned on me: I have turned into my mother. (Which is great, because she is absolutely incredible)
Why do people insist on commenting on every entry? Are they desperate to see their names in print? Why do they insist on pointing that this stuff happens to everyone? Well, duh, but let's try to keep our boats on the same river, people: don't read entries for how you would react, but how the person who wrote it felt and why. Try re-reading the title or maybe the explanatory paragraphs at the beginning. One last thing: your "joke comments", generally aren't. Thank you. I feel better.
We get to an age when our bodies start to wear out and this is most of what makes me 'feel old' Some of it is nostalgia for the music of my youth but I truly believe that this generation is the best so far. They've been on the frontline during this pandemic and kept all of us safe, they haven't complained and they have stepped up and made things happen. Us 'oldies' should be more grateful..
I was about 30 years old when I discovered that you get to wait for about 3 seconds before you actually start to pee. Now I'm used to it.
Millennials are literally in their 30s to 20s overall. Lol they are not slowly turning middle age right now and are the definition of young adults.
I was offered the senior discount at the grocery store (pre pandemic, no mask) I was 35 at the time.
Guys, we've all become the people from that insurance commercial. You know, the ones that go to those classes that guy teaches, so they can learn how not to become their parents? Yeah, that's us!! 😭😂🤣😂🤣
Or the "Now when I wave to someone, the underpart of my arm flaps too."
I realized I had crossed over to the adult side when I saw two little kids playing leapfrog, and instead of thinking 'aww that looks like fun', I thought 'one of them will miss and land on the other kid, and then they'll start fighting'.
I work with kids and have to break up arguments, and have learned to intervene before they start to fight, but I didn't even know these kids.
Load More Replies... Boomennials But yeah i like how it mostly turns out to recycle stuff, stop wasting food that would rather go to waste, and being aware of annoying stuff u used to do so u stop doing.
Omg I feel this! I find myself constantly grumbling about the "youth of today" who are all somehow stepping out on their own with no clue about living as an adult. They have no idea how to do housework, have terrible work ethics, and don't know how household bills work. Its so weird because I'm literally only in the late 20s and am talking about 17-22 year olds. Theres literally about a 10 year difference max.
20’s bragging about who closed the bar, 50’s bragging about who went to bed before 10
My grown son has been sending me pictures of my "grand baby plants"! He is trying to grown his own garden for the first time.
And now the millennials who've spent the last decade blaming boomers for everything bad can listen to the Gen Zers and whoever comes after that blaming them for everything bad...
I'm a millinial but even 10 years ago these where relatable to me, I guess I'm an old soul 😅. But seriously who doesn't like sleeping /going to bed because you are tired?!
FINALLY! Millenials know how GenX felt when we had to deal with them all these years.
Using a Copy machine "You used to tell it how many copies you wanted and press copy!"
Me (a 14 year old): my back, hip, knees hurt Also me: *run straight into a wall four times within the hour*
I'd add one more thing, but it will probably get me banned for being sexist
My retirement plan has always been to have a house with an attic, and to get an air rifle, then shoot at the gnome statues in my lawn the middle of the night while shouting "GET OFF MY LAWN!" Then I'll call the police the next morning to complain about the kids trashing my front yard again.
