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54
MIL Throws A Scene While Her Daughter Is In Labor, Gets Herself Banned From All Future Births
Interview With Expert
Welcoming a new member into the family can be thrilling for everyone involved. Whether you’re going to be a parent, aunt, uncle or grandparent, having a little baby around to spoil is always a blessing. But not everyone needs to be involved with the actual birth.
One new father recently learned this lesson the hard way after his mother-in-law made his son’s birth all about her. Below, you’ll find the full story that he posted on Reddit asking for advice, as well as a conversation with Amy Morrison, Founder of Pregnant Chicken.
RELATED:
Nothing can take away from the excitement that new parents feel when their first child is born
Image credits: Brooke Cagle / Unspalsh (not the actual photo)
But this man’s mother-in-law came extremely close to ruining the experience of his son’s birth
Image credits: Faruk Tokluoğlu / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Swimming-Net-1799
“Grandparents can be a great support during childbirth, but how much they’re involved really depends on what the parents are comfortable with”
It’s no secret that the birth of their first child can be an extremely stressful experience for parents. The uncertainty of when exactly it will happen and the fear that everything may not go according to plan can be overwhelming.
According to The Bump, common worries include not making it to the hospital in time, not being able to handle the pain, needing to have a C-Section, getting (or not getting) an epidural, having a long labor and experiencing delivery complications. Some parents even fear that they may go home with the wrong baby or accidentally drop their newborn.
Because it’s likely that both Mom and Dad’s minds will be racing during the entire experience, it’s important that everyone in the delivery room is being supportive and not adding additional stress to the situation.
That means Grandma and Grandpa might need to stay outside in the waiting room until the baby has arrived. To learn more about this particular story, we reached out to parenting expert and Founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison.
Amy was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss just how involved grandparents should be during a child’s birth.
“Grandparents can be a great support during childbirth, but how much they’re involved really depends on what the parents are comfortable with,” she shared. “Having them around can provide emotional backup, but it might also lead to some unwanted advice or added pressure.”
Image credits: Olivie Strauss / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“Being present at someone’s birth is a privilege, not a right”
“It often comes down to how healthy your relationship is long before the baby is born, which dictates how involved they should be,” Amy added.
On that note, the expert says, “It’s really helpful for couples to talk about what kind of help they want from their parents ahead of time.”
But if they’re worried about hurting their parents’ feelings, Amy says they can keep it friendly by showing appreciation for their parents’ willingness to help while gently sharing their own preferences. “Having a discussion before the baby is born also helps everyone talk about boundaries before they are crossed and things get heated,” she explained.
And if the new parents don’t want their own mother or father in the delivery room, Amy noted that there are plenty of alternative ways for them to help out.
“Grandparents can definitely lend a hand by doing things like helping with chores, cooking meals, or looking after older siblings, which can be a huge relief for new parents without needing to be in the delivery room,” she shared. “Being present at someone’s birth is a privilege, not a right.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father made the right choice by banning his mother-in-law from all future births? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Later, the father responded to a couple of comments and shared more details about the situation
Readers assured the dad that he hadn’t done anything wrong, and some even said he should have been more harsh
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What do you think ?
JB 2 days ago (edited)
One of the best pieces of advice I got from our postpartum prep class was that I, as the husband and nonbirthing partner, am the gatekeeper. I am the one who enforces my wife's wishes for whatever is going to happen in the birthing room, to echo her and back her up if or when any changes arise to she gets heard properly, and to be the outward face of our family for the first few weeks. I kick people out when she looks tired, I say no when she doesn't have the strength to face others, and I facilitate what she needs. Her job is recovering and figuring out the first steps of motherhood. Making the space for her to do that - that's my job.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
Not just at birth. This is the duty of every partner in a spousal relationship under all conditions and at all times.
Load More Replies...
Lyoness 2 days ago
Our first child spent a few weeks in the NICU after a traumatic birth combined with some other health issues. No one but the parents were allowed to visit (according to hospital rules) but somehow my father convinced a nurse to let him in. I was struggling to get our baby to latch and was half naked, exhausted and at the end of my rope and here comes my father who's famous for making everything about himself. I told my partner I just couldn't handle my Dad and he went running to head him off and got him turned around. My father was furious and 20+ years later still hasn't fully forgiven my partner. I didn't care then and I don't care now. My partner had my back and that's the way it should be. Who gets to see Mum and baby, when, where, and for how long should be 100% up to the parents.
Pamina 2 days ago
I will never understand why there are places where family can stay in the birth room. I would feel very uncomfortable. In my country, it's normal for the baby's father to be there, but only him, or someone the birthing mother chooses if the father is not present.
UKGrandad 2 days ago
I was thinking exactly that. When did giving birth become a spectator sport?
Load More Replies...
JB 2 days ago (edited)
One of the best pieces of advice I got from our postpartum prep class was that I, as the husband and nonbirthing partner, am the gatekeeper. I am the one who enforces my wife's wishes for whatever is going to happen in the birthing room, to echo her and back her up if or when any changes arise to she gets heard properly, and to be the outward face of our family for the first few weeks. I kick people out when she looks tired, I say no when she doesn't have the strength to face others, and I facilitate what she needs. Her job is recovering and figuring out the first steps of motherhood. Making the space for her to do that - that's my job.
Janissary35680 2 days ago (edited)
Not just at birth. This is the duty of every partner in a spousal relationship under all conditions and at all times.
Load More Replies... Lyoness 2 days ago
Our first child spent a few weeks in the NICU after a traumatic birth combined with some other health issues. No one but the parents were allowed to visit (according to hospital rules) but somehow my father convinced a nurse to let him in. I was struggling to get our baby to latch and was half naked, exhausted and at the end of my rope and here comes my father who's famous for making everything about himself. I told my partner I just couldn't handle my Dad and he went running to head him off and got him turned around. My father was furious and 20+ years later still hasn't fully forgiven my partner. I didn't care then and I don't care now. My partner had my back and that's the way it should be. Who gets to see Mum and baby, when, where, and for how long should be 100% up to the parents.
Pamina 2 days ago
I will never understand why there are places where family can stay in the birth room. I would feel very uncomfortable. In my country, it's normal for the baby's father to be there, but only him, or someone the birthing mother chooses if the father is not present.
UKGrandad 2 days ago
I was thinking exactly that. When did giving birth become a spectator sport?
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