MIL Barely Sees Her Grandkids, Lies That Husband Doesn’t Want Them In Their House, Later Gets Exposed In Front Of The Whole Family
No one likes liars, especially if they’re in your family. There’s this common misconception dictating to people that if the person’s your blood, you must accept them for who they are – however, quite frankly, just because someone is your family, that doesn’t mean that they’re great people or should be in your life at all.
Although stumbling upon toxic individuals is pretty inevitable, sometimes, it’s in your best interest to take their personalities with a pinch of salt and move on with your life.
However, that’s not always possible. For instance, when your beloved mother-in-law claims that you’re keeping the kids from her and then blames her husband for not letting you visit – maybe it’s time for a little confrontation.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes confronting a “victimized” individual is in your best interest
Image credits: Paul Tomlin (not the actual image)
“AITA for calling out MIL’s lies and making her admit what she said in front of her husband and family?” – this online user turned to one of the most well-liked online forums to seek some unbiased opinions and, perhaps, find out whether she’s indeed a jerk for outing her mother-in-law’s lie. The post has managed to receive over 7K upvotes and 384 worth of comments discussing the situation.
This woman took it online to find out whether she’s indeed a bad guy for outing her lying mother-in-law in front of the whole family
Image credits: u/[deleted]
The author began her post by revealing that MIL and her side of the family like to mistreat her because, apparently, she’s keeping her grandchildren from her when in reality, her mother-in-law is always welcome to visit, but she doesn’t want to as that means that she’d have to stay at a hotel.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
It’s said that MIL “chooses” to never video chat or call; she’s seen her 5-year-old grandkid once and has only recently met the woman’s youngest child. Moreover, the woman also doesn’t invite the OP’s family over as she claimed that her husband didn’t want them in their house, making it seem like he’s a controlling jerk.
However, recently, MIL’s dad had a chat with the author. He said that it was not right and that they should visit, though the woman mentioned that they were not invited due to the MIL’s husband’s demands.
Image credits: Matthew Freeman (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Well, as it turns out, MIL’s dad is a gossip; so everything that the author said spread really quickly among other family members. MIL’s husband went ballistic and said that he never said anything regarding their visit; it put MIL on the spot, so she said that it was probably a simple misunderstanding.
Naturally, the OP realized that the woman had lied about something, so instead of letting it go, she said that the “misunderstanding” wasn’t on her end, as she clearly heard her say it.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
MIL’s husband revealed that while he wouldn’t enjoy their visit, he would never act so controlling towards his wife or her son. The woman, once again, tried to move on, yet the OP demanded an explanation. MIL finally cracked and admitted that her husband has never actually said so, but she knew how much he would “hate” having their family in his house, so she chose to lie.
Image credits: u/[deleted]
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual image)
Once MIL got outed, the family members blasted her for making things up. She was infuriated with the author, saying that she should’ve let her change the subject and that she took her words too literally.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think that the OP was right to call out her MIL right in front of the whole family?
Fellow Redditors shared their thoughts concerning this family-related conflict
The story doesn't add up, but there is one detail that sticks out in my mind: MIL doesn't come over because she would have to stay at a hotel, but it sounds like OP expects MIL and FIL to host them when they visit. Unless there is something else missing here, you don't demand to be hosted by someone you won't host yourself (also not clear if FIL is her father-in-law or her stepfather in law, based on the comment that he wouldn't keep MIL away from HER son, so there is a lot missing about that dynamic).
As someone else pointed out below, it's possible that OP lives in an apartment and doesn't have the room for anyone else. But I agree that there is so much information missing that it is difficult to figure out what is going on.
Load More Replies... She lied at OPs expense, OP fixed the lie. MIL did it to herself and knew she was in the wrong. Now just pissed that she was caught, not that she did it.
...and where is your spouse in the midst of this hurricane known as his family ?? !!......
There seem to be holes. Like, of course the MIL isn't going to visit that often if you make her get a hotel. Those are expensive. Plus she's old. I also note that the OP writes that the MIL doesn't proactively call and video chat, but makes no mention of doing so either. Nor did the OP offer to get a hotel room when the MIL explained her husband wouldn't like them in the house. So OP is expecting MIL to do the heavy lifting, and is salty she isn't. It also sounds like it wasn't much of a stretch for MIL to say her husband says no, because it is pretty clear that he would hate it (he flat out says he would hate it) and the entire thing would be horrible as a result. Maybe she wasn't 100% quoting verbatim, but it seems she was 98% accurate that her husband doesn't want them visiting. That wasn't lying. It is confirmed that that was accurately predicting his response. He is trying to save face by shoving this all on his wife, when really, exactly what choices did she have? And the OP just seems distinctly unpleasant on the whole, with her abject refusal to drop this until she hears exactly what she wants to so she can also blame it all on an evil MIL. But with that sort of personality, I can't see MIL finding her enjoyable enough to go through the effort of braving her husband's displeasure for the sake of a visit.
MIL is not that old if her father is still around.
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It doesn't say why the husbands' parents hate their daughter in law in the first place or why they chose to ostracise their grand children or why the Grandfather doesn't like them visiting..
My guess is MIL's husband is not their bio grandfather and is uncomfortable with little kids running around (notice she said MIL's husband and not FIL). Especially since they have the only grandkids it sounds like.
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I think we also need further clarification in if it's the kids the FIL doesn't want around or just the DIL. If he doesn't mind the grandkids being around, take advantage of the situation and drop the kids off with G-Ma and G-Pa and go have some badly needed time to yourself. And for those not understanding why MIL would need to stay in a hotel...MIL probably has a big house while the OP has a small apartment big enough for her and the kids. Not everyone has a luxury home and can play host. My Brother and his wife couldn't get this through their heads. They had a four bedroom 2-story home. Our apartment could barely fit us let alone host 4 other people.
You are right about dropping off the kids over there but I have feeling that FIL isn't too keen on the kids either since he referred to DIL as "her son's wife" logically then the kids would be "her son's kids" or "her grandkids". I have a feeling this issue revolves around him.
Load More Replies... Too much information missing. My guess is that there is a long history of problems in this family, at least partly due to lack of good communication. Without more information, it is difficult to comment further.
But did the Mil actually lie though. Fil pretty much said he didn’t want them there but just worded it different and tried to save face. Why doesn’t he wasn’t them there? Honestly I’d stay away and definitely keep my kids away from these idiots. You got gossips, controllers, under bus throwers. All u need is a sex offender, couple of religious fanatic and a pyromaniac and u could field a baseball team!
My Ex-MIL was like this. She would complain that I never allowed her to see my daughter (I raised my daughter without any help from her mother or mothers family). She came in town a lot but never once tried to see my daughter, but always complained that she wasn't allowed.
NTA. But, the story doesn't add up, or there's more to the story. Solution is for everyone in the family to grow up! Lol
The best thing to do is be open and honest and get lies out of the shadows. I don’t know why people can’t take emotions off the table and just be clear and set boundaries everyone can live with happily. I’ve taken so much nonsense from family and in-laws over the years so I know how impossible this actually is to implement. Sometimes I wish I could live in a cave.
A lie is a lie, every action has a reaction, be kind and save some time!
How is it a lie when the husband already admitted he would not be comfortable if they were there?
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First of all she didn't lie. He admitted that he wouldn't enjoy them visiting. Secondly, she wants her mother-in-law to stay in a hotel but she goes and stays at their house? Or am I missing something? Weird people all over.
Can we please stop with these posts. 99.9% of these are like: „my husband tried to kill me with a chainsaw and I slapped his wrists to defend myself. Now my family thinks I‘m no better than Hitler. AITA???“
What posts are you referring to? Why are you not happy with them?
Load More Replies... The story doesn't add up, but there is one detail that sticks out in my mind: MIL doesn't come over because she would have to stay at a hotel, but it sounds like OP expects MIL and FIL to host them when they visit. Unless there is something else missing here, you don't demand to be hosted by someone you won't host yourself (also not clear if FIL is her father-in-law or her stepfather in law, based on the comment that he wouldn't keep MIL away from HER son, so there is a lot missing about that dynamic).
As someone else pointed out below, it's possible that OP lives in an apartment and doesn't have the room for anyone else. But I agree that there is so much information missing that it is difficult to figure out what is going on.
Load More Replies... She lied at OPs expense, OP fixed the lie. MIL did it to herself and knew she was in the wrong. Now just pissed that she was caught, not that she did it.
...and where is your spouse in the midst of this hurricane known as his family ?? !!......
There seem to be holes. Like, of course the MIL isn't going to visit that often if you make her get a hotel. Those are expensive. Plus she's old. I also note that the OP writes that the MIL doesn't proactively call and video chat, but makes no mention of doing so either. Nor did the OP offer to get a hotel room when the MIL explained her husband wouldn't like them in the house. So OP is expecting MIL to do the heavy lifting, and is salty she isn't. It also sounds like it wasn't much of a stretch for MIL to say her husband says no, because it is pretty clear that he would hate it (he flat out says he would hate it) and the entire thing would be horrible as a result. Maybe she wasn't 100% quoting verbatim, but it seems she was 98% accurate that her husband doesn't want them visiting. That wasn't lying. It is confirmed that that was accurately predicting his response. He is trying to save face by shoving this all on his wife, when really, exactly what choices did she have? And the OP just seems distinctly unpleasant on the whole, with her abject refusal to drop this until she hears exactly what she wants to so she can also blame it all on an evil MIL. But with that sort of personality, I can't see MIL finding her enjoyable enough to go through the effort of braving her husband's displeasure for the sake of a visit.
MIL is not that old if her father is still around.
Load More Replies... It doesn't say why the husbands' parents hate their daughter in law in the first place or why they chose to ostracise their grand children or why the Grandfather doesn't like them visiting..
My guess is MIL's husband is not their bio grandfather and is uncomfortable with little kids running around (notice she said MIL's husband and not FIL). Especially since they have the only grandkids it sounds like.
Load More Replies... I think we also need further clarification in if it's the kids the FIL doesn't want around or just the DIL. If he doesn't mind the grandkids being around, take advantage of the situation and drop the kids off with G-Ma and G-Pa and go have some badly needed time to yourself. And for those not understanding why MIL would need to stay in a hotel...MIL probably has a big house while the OP has a small apartment big enough for her and the kids. Not everyone has a luxury home and can play host. My Brother and his wife couldn't get this through their heads. They had a four bedroom 2-story home. Our apartment could barely fit us let alone host 4 other people.
You are right about dropping off the kids over there but I have feeling that FIL isn't too keen on the kids either since he referred to DIL as "her son's wife" logically then the kids would be "her son's kids" or "her grandkids". I have a feeling this issue revolves around him.
Load More Replies... Too much information missing. My guess is that there is a long history of problems in this family, at least partly due to lack of good communication. Without more information, it is difficult to comment further.
But did the Mil actually lie though. Fil pretty much said he didn’t want them there but just worded it different and tried to save face. Why doesn’t he wasn’t them there? Honestly I’d stay away and definitely keep my kids away from these idiots. You got gossips, controllers, under bus throwers. All u need is a sex offender, couple of religious fanatic and a pyromaniac and u could field a baseball team!
My Ex-MIL was like this. She would complain that I never allowed her to see my daughter (I raised my daughter without any help from her mother or mothers family). She came in town a lot but never once tried to see my daughter, but always complained that she wasn't allowed.
NTA. But, the story doesn't add up, or there's more to the story. Solution is for everyone in the family to grow up! Lol
The best thing to do is be open and honest and get lies out of the shadows. I don’t know why people can’t take emotions off the table and just be clear and set boundaries everyone can live with happily. I’ve taken so much nonsense from family and in-laws over the years so I know how impossible this actually is to implement. Sometimes I wish I could live in a cave.
A lie is a lie, every action has a reaction, be kind and save some time!
How is it a lie when the husband already admitted he would not be comfortable if they were there?
Load More Replies... First of all she didn't lie. He admitted that he wouldn't enjoy them visiting. Secondly, she wants her mother-in-law to stay in a hotel but she goes and stays at their house? Or am I missing something? Weird people all over.
Can we please stop with these posts. 99.9% of these are like: „my husband tried to kill me with a chainsaw and I slapped his wrists to defend myself. Now my family thinks I‘m no better than Hitler. AITA???“
What posts are you referring to? Why are you not happy with them?
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