“My Bad For Not Cooking Enough”: Pregnant Woman Left Hungry And Mad After Her MIL Ate Her Portion Of The Dinner
Moms are like superheroes. They are constantly expected to “do it all” when it comes to preparing meals, taking care of their family, and managing the household, all while keeping a smile on their face. They never get a day off, even when they are pregnant, so the least we can all do is try to make the life of every mom we know a tad bit easier. Unfortunately for one woman, her mother-in-law seems to have forgotten how difficult it can be to have to take care of everyone else.
One mom recently shared on Reddit an experience she had with her mother-in-law that led to a bit of family drama. After preparing a meal for the entire family, all she wanted to do was sit down, relax and eat, but she wasn’t even given the opportunity to do that. She later reached out online asking if she was justified in being upset with her mother-in-law, so below, you can read the full story and decide for yourself. Let us know in the comments how you would have responded to this entitled mother-in-law, and if you have any personal stories of in-law disputes to share, we’d love to hear them. Then, if you’re interested in yet another Bored Panda article featuring drama between in-laws, we recommend checking out this story next.
This mother recently sought out some second opinions online to find out if she was justified in being upset with her mother-in-law
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: yoppy (not the actual photo)
Image credits: notahip
The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be a complicated one. Sometimes, the two women become best friends through their shared love of their child or partner and bond through baking together, shopping for the children and joining the same book club. Other times, however, the two women can have a tumultuous relationship battling for the attention and affection of their child or partner. A mother-in-law may feel entitled to dictating how her son lives his life and what decisions he makes, and a daughter-in-law might be bulldozed by her in-laws to try to avoid any conflicts.
No matter what a daughter-in-law does sometimes, she cannot satisfy the desires of her mother-in-law without sacrificing her own happiness. But according to a recent study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science Journal, it might be completely out of your control if your in-laws don’t like you. According to the study, each person is wired to “unconsciously [act] in the interest of their genetic kin”, meaning that we may pick fights with our in-laws more easily, as they are not our flesh and blood.
The mom provided more details about the story and her relationship with her mother-in-law in the comments
And when it comes to the specific relationship between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws, Dr. Terri Apter, a psychologist from Cambridge University writes in her book What Do You Want From Me?, “The conflict often arises from an assumption that each is criticizing or undermining the other woman. But this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female stereotypes that few of us manage to shake off completely. Both the mother and the wife are struggling to achieve the same position in the family — primary woman. Each tries to establish or protect their status. Each feels threatened by the other.”
In the case of the mother-in-law in this story, she seems selfish and entitled and picking fights due to more than just her genetics, but it is clear in the comments that people see right through her actions. Although it is never easy to set boundaries with a family member, I hope that this mother will be treated fairly from now on, especially while she is pregnant and working hard to take care of her family. Let us know in the comments what you think about this situation, and if you have any horror stories from encounters with your in-laws, feel free to share them with your fellow pandas as well.
Readers were horrified by the mother-in-law’s behavior, with many saying she should not be invited over again
I'd have picked up the plate with the leftovers and placed it on the ground for my dog to feast upon it. Rather I'll turn my cooking into pet food than letting that greedy hag get any of if for the next day
Oh wow, I would love to see that happens. I can just imagine the MIL's reaction, which is priceless.
Load More Replies...
There HAS to be some level of awareness. Who just assumes the cook won't eat? AND she's pregnant? If I were the husband, i would have called her out then and there
can i just say bravo for the hubby for taking the wife's side^^ its rare in these posts :D
Bravo? Okayish. He should have immediately barked at her to stay away from her and their kid's food.
Load More Replies...
More problematic than the food issue is the pathetic social media post by a grown *ss woman. Is she 15?! Wth
Well, I hope she enjoyed her meatballs, because if I were the OP, MIL would not be enjoying any more meals at my house! Also, hope she doesn't want to meet her new future grandchild or continue relationships with her current grandchildren, because she sounds very entitled! I'd go NC!
No access to anyone in the family until she apologises. Toxic people need extremely firm boundaries, and even then it's better to just not have them around. And don't give me the family and grandmother speech, what kind of a grandmother starves the pregnant mother of those supposedly beloved grandchildren?
I gotta tell you. My mother in law would never never in a thousand years do something like this. We have a very large family. When we have a gathering there are often leftovers. AFTER everyone has eaten their fill. Those leftovers are then offered IF the hostess offers them to others to take home. That is IF the hostess so chooses. No one assumes anything. EVER. Your mIL is being thoughtless and really selfish. This is not a caring way to act. She is striking out and trying to get others to make you feel badly. Don’t allow that to happen. It is not up to you to provide her with tomorrows meal. If you do so, it is out of your kindness. Good luck sweet mom to be.
Um, leftovers stay with the person that cooked. Also, don't put more on your plate than you can eat. MIL doesn't have manners.
It's not even technically leftovers since someone never get to touch the food. It can ONLY be considered leftover when food is left AFTER everyone is stuffed. I'd call that stolen goods.
Load More Replies...
Not completely unrelated, but It's really bad table manners to help yourself with more than you are going to eat.
It's worse table manners to take food off someone's plate so they don't get to eat
Load More Replies...
I made crab legs for my daughter's birthday...it was a special treat at her request and I served them buffet style. Her friends all took 2 each clocking that there were a lot of people there so they were being mindful. Cut to: one of the other parents loading their plate with several of them. It amazed me that a bunch of 13 and 14 year olds had more tact than a grown woman.
Did you grab them back or ask her for her credit card so you could buy for the rest who were screwed out of dinner? Never buffet expensive food!
Load More Replies...
This is off-the-wall selfish, taking a pregnant woman's food because you want an extra meal from it. From now on, when MIL is there, make only a single portion worth each, serve everything onto plates, including your own plate (just pop a potlid or bowl over it if you aren't sitting down yet). If there's going to be extra, put it a tupperware and hide it before taking the plates out. No seconds, no extra-large portions, no leftovers. Never allow this woman to see another tupperware of 'leftovers' from your table again, ever. If she ever complains about it "Oh, are you still hungry MIL? Is anyone not going to finish their plate?"
ROFL! I suggest putting up a couple of nanny cams so you can see her reactions at the best angle!
Load More Replies...
Doesn't say much about the husband if he didn't stop his mom from taking the food from his pregnant wife.
I never heard or had visitors for dinner who would expect taking leftovers in advance. WTF?!?! I'm glad that I finally see husband took wife's side. It is so rare here. And not having enough, it happens, you are not restaurant. I usually have some bread, snacks and vegetable with dip for this situation.
Sorry, no, he doesn't get a bucket of credit for that. She stole food from her pregnant daughter in law. He should've called her out immediately. Like, Mom come into the kitchen we need to talk right now immediately. Buying fries for the wife later is bare minimum stuff.
Load More Replies...
Ok wtf! This person ate someone else's dinner and basically refused to allow her pregnant daughter in law to eat her meal. That's not even slightly ok and the fact that the husband didn't intervene immediately when witnessing these events is pretty bad, though at least he took her side later. Seriously I don't know what story the MIL told online but no decent person in their right mind would agree that the DIL was TAH.
They have kids already, so I'm willing to believe that hubby may have been busy with them while his mother was doing her malfeasance. However, he should have been on her the second it was brought to notice. Me, I would have thrown the meal in the trash rather rlthan let that b***h take it home to snack on!
Load More Replies...
What a greedy selfish bstrd the MIL is,, who the hell does she think she is? She's invited for , what sounded like a lovely meal,, eats more than her share,, greedy b***h,, then has the brass neck to ask for a dish to take the rest home!!! I'm sorry, but she would've been wearing the leftovers,,, greedy greedy cow
Well bless her heart. She probably doesn't have enough food at home. (For those unfamiliar with Southern US phrases, "bless her heart" is *not* a compliment or indication of good wishes.)
The next being, "She must use dark meat in her chicken salad!"
Load More Replies... Sounds like the MIL was trying to provoke the op. I wouldn't be surprised if the MIL never approved of the marriage and is still upset that someone stole her son from her.
NTA! The amount of selfishness your MIL possess! I'm speechless! I tend to make too much food when we have guests. Sometimes they go home with leftovers because I offer it. The keywords being "I offer". Such a bad mannered MIL, taking it for granted and of course she knew you hadn't been eating yet! I mean, really! And if people agree with her in her posts that's just because she tells her version of the story.. ps: if I were your MIL I would 1: help you with the clothes, 2: Definately wait until you sat with your own plate so we could eat together even if you told me to begin before you were back. Just saying... It's the way you show your family how much they mean to your... Obviously your MIL doesn't care about anyone than herself.
Yeah, and when we eat at someone else's place, leftovers are generally offered to the young adults, who are usually the ones with the tightest grocery budgets. If there's more after that we split what we are offered.
Load More Replies...
I understand you can take leftovers from the restaurant if you ordered more than you needed, but why would you take leftovers from somebody's house if you were never offered to take them?
I would've called the MIL then and there and said "That was my dinner, did you think to ask?" Then snatched the plate from her and started eating.
MIL put the food on her own plate and had been eating from it. I wouldn't want it either.
Load More Replies...
Wow. That’s super rude of the MIL especially knowing OP is pregnant. Not sure what to say about the MIL, petty person for sure.
Does she miss the point completely, you are carrying her grandchild?? NOT THE A$$. I would let her visit, but not serve any food, just some drinks and package cookies. She is very self entitled and will be a real problem when your child gets old enough to listen to her. She will be likely to cause problems about how you raise your child and discipline them. Taking the opposite view that you all do. Hubby needs to step up and have a nice mother son talk about boundaries and manners.
"Next time serve her a huge, oversized portion of food" "She normally complains I give her too much". What a cow the MIL is! She's never happy it seems and obviously doesn't care about her DIL. At least Hubby backed up with wife against his mother's obvious rude behaviour.
Whoa, there's one thing... called manners. MIL needs it. Imagine being this rude.
Did she seriously ask if someone else eating HER dinner makes her TA?!?!
why is MIL wandering in your kitchen unattended and taking food? i would not allow it. that is so rude to go into someone else's fridge/pots
Pregnant and m.I.l. Doesn't even mention that but wants her take away? Take HER away and I would just distance myself from her. How does she treat your children? Bad Grama is like Peppa Pig on steroids in a bad sci- fi flick!
similar happened to me with my MIL, first mother's day we were doting on her, I make a bit pot of pulled pork, she and her husband show up at dinner time unannounced. every gets to eat but me... my kids husband, inlaws, on mother's day. Bad enough I had to make dinner... sat in front of every one with a peanut butter sandwich, husband asked my why and told him there was nothing else left, he felt bad, inlaws kept eating... several years ago and yes I am still ticked.
Why was no one helping OP cook, serve or clean? NTA. What awful in-laws! Hubs needs to handle them.
MIL is passive aggressive. But even if I didn't want to eat "her leftovers" I wouldn't have let her have them to avoid the need to cook the next day. If you don't set some limits now, your life will be hell down the road.
Sometimes - some of these actions by FAMILY - make me reassess and appreciate what family I have.
If I dished myself a bowl of food and someone actually stole it while I was dealing with the rest of dinner, they would be ejected from my home no matter who they were, and that goes double if I'm pregnant, especially if pregnant with that person's grandchild. Husband's and father in law are lame for not stopping this. And this woman should not be allowed unsupervised contact with that baby.
She is just selfish and inconsiderate. I would st op her from filling her bowls with your food.
If this were my MIL, she would have made sure my plate of food stayed warm until I got back. As for leftovers, you ask before you take. You just don't assume. I sometimes make extra for dinner so it can be lunches the next day for my husband. WTF is this MILs problem?
You're husband should have been supportive and concerned that his pregnant wife wasn't able to eat the dinner she cooked herself. Then he tells you to apologize when you not at all in the wrong. She was greedy and a bad house guest. It's like she was doing it on purpose to bait you so she can go tell everyone how poorly her daughter in law treated her.
Her husband asked his mother to apologize, he took the OP's side.
Load More Replies...
These AITA posts are always so clearly geared towards the person who wrote it not being the a-hole. Of *course* they're not in the wrong for being upset someone stole your food. No one would think they are. These should be titled "I want to vent about something that happened to me" instead because that's literally all they are.
MIL must have told her end of the events to sound in her favor. The pregnant mom could have also done the same. This is why I'm skeptical of AITA stories. It's just such a petty, inside, personal family matter that really doesn't concern the public. I just wanted to say that. From the pregnant mom's perspective, she's obviously NTA. There are some inconsistencies in the story. Like, why is everyone seated for supper but the pregnant one decides to tend to laundry while everyone eats without her present at the table? Was something said that has been omitted? Has there been some animosity between the MIL and her DIL before?
Another day, another Bored Panda hack being lazy and looks for a BS Reddit story to repost as an article.
I don't know. You dish up and then need to get washing in??? WHy not sit with everyone and get washing after. Or ask while dishing up that someone gets it in for you. Like MIL perhaps. And did you not put your food on a plate? Guess she thought if it wasn't, it was spare. Both of you made a drama out of it.
It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the woman was keeping the food warm while she finished a chore.
Load More Replies...
Lol wut? Poor old ladies eat beans or bread when they're hungry. If she would dive in the garbage bags behind a grocery store, yes help her out. This is just greed and very bad manners.
Load More Replies... I'd have picked up the plate with the leftovers and placed it on the ground for my dog to feast upon it. Rather I'll turn my cooking into pet food than letting that greedy hag get any of if for the next day
Oh wow, I would love to see that happens. I can just imagine the MIL's reaction, which is priceless.
Load More Replies... There HAS to be some level of awareness. Who just assumes the cook won't eat? AND she's pregnant? If I were the husband, i would have called her out then and there
can i just say bravo for the hubby for taking the wife's side^^ its rare in these posts :D
Bravo? Okayish. He should have immediately barked at her to stay away from her and their kid's food.
Load More Replies... More problematic than the food issue is the pathetic social media post by a grown *ss woman. Is she 15?! Wth
Well, I hope she enjoyed her meatballs, because if I were the OP, MIL would not be enjoying any more meals at my house! Also, hope she doesn't want to meet her new future grandchild or continue relationships with her current grandchildren, because she sounds very entitled! I'd go NC!
No access to anyone in the family until she apologises. Toxic people need extremely firm boundaries, and even then it's better to just not have them around. And don't give me the family and grandmother speech, what kind of a grandmother starves the pregnant mother of those supposedly beloved grandchildren?
I gotta tell you. My mother in law would never never in a thousand years do something like this. We have a very large family. When we have a gathering there are often leftovers. AFTER everyone has eaten their fill. Those leftovers are then offered IF the hostess offers them to others to take home. That is IF the hostess so chooses. No one assumes anything. EVER. Your mIL is being thoughtless and really selfish. This is not a caring way to act. She is striking out and trying to get others to make you feel badly. Don’t allow that to happen. It is not up to you to provide her with tomorrows meal. If you do so, it is out of your kindness. Good luck sweet mom to be.
Um, leftovers stay with the person that cooked. Also, don't put more on your plate than you can eat. MIL doesn't have manners.
It's not even technically leftovers since someone never get to touch the food. It can ONLY be considered leftover when food is left AFTER everyone is stuffed. I'd call that stolen goods.
Load More Replies... Not completely unrelated, but It's really bad table manners to help yourself with more than you are going to eat.
It's worse table manners to take food off someone's plate so they don't get to eat
Load More Replies... I made crab legs for my daughter's birthday...it was a special treat at her request and I served them buffet style. Her friends all took 2 each clocking that there were a lot of people there so they were being mindful. Cut to: one of the other parents loading their plate with several of them. It amazed me that a bunch of 13 and 14 year olds had more tact than a grown woman.
Did you grab them back or ask her for her credit card so you could buy for the rest who were screwed out of dinner? Never buffet expensive food!
Load More Replies... This is off-the-wall selfish, taking a pregnant woman's food because you want an extra meal from it. From now on, when MIL is there, make only a single portion worth each, serve everything onto plates, including your own plate (just pop a potlid or bowl over it if you aren't sitting down yet). If there's going to be extra, put it a tupperware and hide it before taking the plates out. No seconds, no extra-large portions, no leftovers. Never allow this woman to see another tupperware of 'leftovers' from your table again, ever. If she ever complains about it "Oh, are you still hungry MIL? Is anyone not going to finish their plate?"
ROFL! I suggest putting up a couple of nanny cams so you can see her reactions at the best angle!
Load More Replies... Doesn't say much about the husband if he didn't stop his mom from taking the food from his pregnant wife.
I never heard or had visitors for dinner who would expect taking leftovers in advance. WTF?!?! I'm glad that I finally see husband took wife's side. It is so rare here. And not having enough, it happens, you are not restaurant. I usually have some bread, snacks and vegetable with dip for this situation.
Sorry, no, he doesn't get a bucket of credit for that. She stole food from her pregnant daughter in law. He should've called her out immediately. Like, Mom come into the kitchen we need to talk right now immediately. Buying fries for the wife later is bare minimum stuff.
Load More Replies... Ok wtf! This person ate someone else's dinner and basically refused to allow her pregnant daughter in law to eat her meal. That's not even slightly ok and the fact that the husband didn't intervene immediately when witnessing these events is pretty bad, though at least he took her side later. Seriously I don't know what story the MIL told online but no decent person in their right mind would agree that the DIL was TAH.
They have kids already, so I'm willing to believe that hubby may have been busy with them while his mother was doing her malfeasance. However, he should have been on her the second it was brought to notice. Me, I would have thrown the meal in the trash rather rlthan let that b***h take it home to snack on!
Load More Replies... What a greedy selfish bstrd the MIL is,, who the hell does she think she is? She's invited for , what sounded like a lovely meal,, eats more than her share,, greedy b***h,, then has the brass neck to ask for a dish to take the rest home!!! I'm sorry, but she would've been wearing the leftovers,,, greedy greedy cow
Well bless her heart. She probably doesn't have enough food at home. (For those unfamiliar with Southern US phrases, "bless her heart" is *not* a compliment or indication of good wishes.)
The next being, "She must use dark meat in her chicken salad!"
Load More Replies... Sounds like the MIL was trying to provoke the op. I wouldn't be surprised if the MIL never approved of the marriage and is still upset that someone stole her son from her.
NTA! The amount of selfishness your MIL possess! I'm speechless! I tend to make too much food when we have guests. Sometimes they go home with leftovers because I offer it. The keywords being "I offer". Such a bad mannered MIL, taking it for granted and of course she knew you hadn't been eating yet! I mean, really! And if people agree with her in her posts that's just because she tells her version of the story.. ps: if I were your MIL I would 1: help you with the clothes, 2: Definately wait until you sat with your own plate so we could eat together even if you told me to begin before you were back. Just saying... It's the way you show your family how much they mean to your... Obviously your MIL doesn't care about anyone than herself.
Yeah, and when we eat at someone else's place, leftovers are generally offered to the young adults, who are usually the ones with the tightest grocery budgets. If there's more after that we split what we are offered.
Load More Replies... I understand you can take leftovers from the restaurant if you ordered more than you needed, but why would you take leftovers from somebody's house if you were never offered to take them?
I would've called the MIL then and there and said "That was my dinner, did you think to ask?" Then snatched the plate from her and started eating.
MIL put the food on her own plate and had been eating from it. I wouldn't want it either.
Load More Replies... Wow. That’s super rude of the MIL especially knowing OP is pregnant. Not sure what to say about the MIL, petty person for sure.
Does she miss the point completely, you are carrying her grandchild?? NOT THE A$$. I would let her visit, but not serve any food, just some drinks and package cookies. She is very self entitled and will be a real problem when your child gets old enough to listen to her. She will be likely to cause problems about how you raise your child and discipline them. Taking the opposite view that you all do. Hubby needs to step up and have a nice mother son talk about boundaries and manners.
"Next time serve her a huge, oversized portion of food" "She normally complains I give her too much". What a cow the MIL is! She's never happy it seems and obviously doesn't care about her DIL. At least Hubby backed up with wife against his mother's obvious rude behaviour.
Whoa, there's one thing... called manners. MIL needs it. Imagine being this rude.
Did she seriously ask if someone else eating HER dinner makes her TA?!?!
why is MIL wandering in your kitchen unattended and taking food? i would not allow it. that is so rude to go into someone else's fridge/pots
Pregnant and m.I.l. Doesn't even mention that but wants her take away? Take HER away and I would just distance myself from her. How does she treat your children? Bad Grama is like Peppa Pig on steroids in a bad sci- fi flick!
similar happened to me with my MIL, first mother's day we were doting on her, I make a bit pot of pulled pork, she and her husband show up at dinner time unannounced. every gets to eat but me... my kids husband, inlaws, on mother's day. Bad enough I had to make dinner... sat in front of every one with a peanut butter sandwich, husband asked my why and told him there was nothing else left, he felt bad, inlaws kept eating... several years ago and yes I am still ticked.
Why was no one helping OP cook, serve or clean? NTA. What awful in-laws! Hubs needs to handle them.
MIL is passive aggressive. But even if I didn't want to eat "her leftovers" I wouldn't have let her have them to avoid the need to cook the next day. If you don't set some limits now, your life will be hell down the road.
Sometimes - some of these actions by FAMILY - make me reassess and appreciate what family I have.
If I dished myself a bowl of food and someone actually stole it while I was dealing with the rest of dinner, they would be ejected from my home no matter who they were, and that goes double if I'm pregnant, especially if pregnant with that person's grandchild. Husband's and father in law are lame for not stopping this. And this woman should not be allowed unsupervised contact with that baby.
She is just selfish and inconsiderate. I would st op her from filling her bowls with your food.
If this were my MIL, she would have made sure my plate of food stayed warm until I got back. As for leftovers, you ask before you take. You just don't assume. I sometimes make extra for dinner so it can be lunches the next day for my husband. WTF is this MILs problem?
You're husband should have been supportive and concerned that his pregnant wife wasn't able to eat the dinner she cooked herself. Then he tells you to apologize when you not at all in the wrong. She was greedy and a bad house guest. It's like she was doing it on purpose to bait you so she can go tell everyone how poorly her daughter in law treated her.
Her husband asked his mother to apologize, he took the OP's side.
Load More Replies... These AITA posts are always so clearly geared towards the person who wrote it not being the a-hole. Of *course* they're not in the wrong for being upset someone stole your food. No one would think they are. These should be titled "I want to vent about something that happened to me" instead because that's literally all they are.
MIL must have told her end of the events to sound in her favor. The pregnant mom could have also done the same. This is why I'm skeptical of AITA stories. It's just such a petty, inside, personal family matter that really doesn't concern the public. I just wanted to say that. From the pregnant mom's perspective, she's obviously NTA. There are some inconsistencies in the story. Like, why is everyone seated for supper but the pregnant one decides to tend to laundry while everyone eats without her present at the table? Was something said that has been omitted? Has there been some animosity between the MIL and her DIL before?
Another day, another Bored Panda hack being lazy and looks for a BS Reddit story to repost as an article.
I don't know. You dish up and then need to get washing in??? WHy not sit with everyone and get washing after. Or ask while dishing up that someone gets it in for you. Like MIL perhaps. And did you not put your food on a plate? Guess she thought if it wasn't, it was spare. Both of you made a drama out of it.
It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the woman was keeping the food warm while she finished a chore.
Load More Replies... Lol wut? Poor old ladies eat beans or bread when they're hungry. If she would dive in the garbage bags behind a grocery store, yes help her out. This is just greed and very bad manners.
Load More Replies... 
139
95