Parents Forced This 18-Year-Old To Take Care Of His Autistic Sister, He Asks People If He’s A Bad Person For Growing To Hate Her
According to statistics as many as 1 in 59 children were diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder in 2018. Autism is characterized as a disorder which challenges the social skills of an individual, causes issues with repetitive behavior, and also speech and nonverbal communication. While the disorder ranges in severity, it’s clear that parents who are raising children with this disorder go through a lot of difficulties. However, they often overlook the difficulties siblings of children with ASD goes through.
More info: reddit.com
Recently one Reddit user asked if he’s an asshole for not wanting to care of his autistic sister
Image credits: Tom Reedy (not the actual photo)
“The title makes me sound horrible but hear me out.
My sister is severely autistic. She requires attention almost 24/7 and cannot be left alone. She is non-verbal and cannot take care of herself at all. Despite the fact that she is only 12 she is extremely destructive and violent and destroys anything she gets her hands on.
I hate her. That should be wrong to say but it doesn’t feel like it.
I was only 6 years old when she was born and since then i’ve never solely had my parents attention. Even since I can remember the world has revolved around her. I was moved out of my room into the basement at 7 because she needed to be in the room next to my parents. All of my toys as a child were destroyed by her and my parents simply ignored me when I complained. Even when I was 14 and she destroyed a mac my school gave me I was in the wrong.
Along with this I am expected to take care of her and drop everything I do for her. I can never make plans with friend because my parents “expect” me to be there if they need me to take care of her. Even when I do somehow get time to myself I am required to leave if they need me. If i do not then I am punished. The recent example of this is when I went to see the new spider man movie, and was “grounded” because i turned my phone off in the theater.
It seems as if I am nothing more than a slave to them and anything involving her simply overshadows me. This last week I was chosen to give a speech at a school event. I was so exited and my parents promised to be there, but they never showed and claimed it was because of my sister. Anytime anything like this happens for me they are to busy with her.
I’ve held this in for so long and it finally spilled out today. While talking about colleges with my father, he joked that I should get a degree that pays well so when their gone I can take care of my sister. I don’t know why but this caused me to break down. I cried and screamed about how it always about her. I’m nothing more than a caretaker to them, that they always make it about her and that I’m expected to be her “slave” for the rest of my life.
I’ve locked myself in my room since then and my parents have not come to check on me. Am i the asshole here?
Edit/Update kinda:
Wow, thank you for all the support and love that you guys have given me. I never expected this post to reach the popularity it did. Thank you all. After thinking about it for these past hours, you are right that I don’t despise my sister. It’s not her fault that she was born the way she is. My parents came to talk to me a while after my break down but I was unable to bring myself to talk to them and only cried and asked them to leave. They have made arrangements with my grandfather for me to stay with him for the time being and am getting ready to go to his house. My parents want to talk to me but we have decided it’s best I leave for now to have some space and time to collect myself. we will be sitting down and talking later this week about this issue. Thank you all again for the love and support through this <3
I’ll send an update your guy’s way later this week if people are interested.”
His story gained a lot of interest in Reddit’s community, so the OP made an update of how the situation continued
“I’m back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here’s my update.
Well, since that day I made the post i’ve been staying with my grandfather. The week’s been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i’ll try to run it down.
I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don’t feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is “supposed” to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn’t end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a “caretaker” that doesn’t exist.
Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i’ve felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week “making up for the time i’ve lost.” Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.
Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying “You were put here to be her caretaker”. I won’t lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.
Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I’m not going back. Later today i’m going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i’m planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.
I won’t be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i’ve learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don’t hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.
So, there’s my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.
Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I’ll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it’s kinda cliche and i’ve said it a thousand times but thank you all.
We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it’s at my grandpa’s house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.
Thank you all for the advice and love. It’s been amazing and i’m glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don’t know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i’ll maybe come around again. But for now I’m going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy’s :)”
Majority of the commenters said that OP is not the asshole and shouldn’t be forced to care of his sister
However, a few users sympathized with the parents
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What a sad, sad situation. I'm so glad he's out of it. What a relief that he has the rest of his family to support him. I just hope his sister doesn't get neglected - they need keeping an eye on! I expect they were overwhelmed but they have made some really bad choices.
Poor kid - he is better off out of there at present - so the parents will need to arrange appropriate professional care.
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I know what it is like to take care of person who has disability. I was helping my mom to take care of my grandmother who had right half of body paralyzed. I was helping for 7 years; my "caretaker" role started when I was 12. It is 5 years since I left my house but and my grandmother has already passed away but I still remember her everyday's schedule like it was yesterday. It is hard duty as it has no days off. Even though my mom did not show much of appreciation, I understood I had to take responsibility because "children and grandchildren need to take care of their (grand)parents". Plus it was my mom taking the main load, I was just doing little things. And she was doing it alone, sigle mother of 2 kids, with full time job. That what upset me. My grandmother has 6 kids and even more grandchildren who are 10+years older than me. Where were they and their appreciation?
My Mum became by default the main "carer" for about a year for my grandmother when she began suffering from dementia. She was there 3 times a day making sure everything was ok - cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning house, keeping her company etc. I had 2 uncles and 2 aunts living locally - one of the aunts was actually a carer at a facility for the elderly - but they left my mum to it. My Grandmother was in receipt of "Carer's Allowance" which my mum faithfully banked every week. When my Grandmother passed away - there were no actual savings other than the year or so carer payment my mum had accumulated in the bank. This paid for the funeral expenses and she divided the small remainder equally between the 5 siblings. Only to be accused by an uncle - who lived away- of only caring for their mother because she was getting paid. She had never taken a penny of it and it caused a major family rift - sad.
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I agree that it's not his job to be his sister's caretaker. It's a shame the parents stole from his childhood and forced him to take care of her when it's ultimately their job. He's still a child himself and isn't trained to deal with her to the degree a trained professional would. If I were the sister I would be questioning about the alleged caretaker and shame them for not actually hiring one and giving their daughter the proper care she needs.
If you go to Reddit and dive deep into the comments on his first post, you'll see that his sister is severely autistic, and therefore in no position to question anything. Then explore the comments on his update and you'll see that the parents had been keeping both kids isolated their entire childhood, and how bad it really was.
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My younger child, a son, is HF autistic and my daughter, older, is neural-typical. I felt this story in my soul. I know I've asked my daughter to suck up a lot of her own feelings, because there were and are things about her brother that aren't going to change, and it's not fair, but when you are exhausted and worn out it happens -- and that's with a high functioning kid. Having said that, I also talk to my daughter about it a LOT, to the point where now she rolls her eyes and assures me it's not an issue and to stop worrying about it --and I also made sure to make time for just her. I don't understand why, with 2 parents in the home, it never occurred to them that one of them could still go to things for their son. It never occurred to them that they were asking too much. I guess I find it hard not to fault them. But do I fault him? NO. I do hope he gets some counseling though, for his own peace of mind, and bc, the reality is he probably will be responsible for her eventually.
It also never occurred to them to use the money they were being given to get support for their daughter. She's apparently a danger to herself and they left it to him?
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As a mother of a boy in the spectrum I am appalled yet not surprised. In the last 10 years I have seen countless families that have children in the spectrum, and time and time again I have seen how these families intentionally want to have more children to "help" the one that has autism. I have seen mothers forcing elder children to take care of the younger ones and I wouldn't be surprised if the parents of this young man would try for a baby soon for the same reason. As soon as our son was diagnosed at 2 and a half years, my husband and I decided it would be unfair to have more children.
His grandfather is a hero, reading how he reacted and protected his grandson made me cry. Thank God for his extended family, I wish him all the best.
Also, this sounds like some sort of fraud. We're they getting money from the government for a caretaker?
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I am sad to read this story, even with the outcomes. He lost his parents and sister throughout this whole issue. However, what was done to him is completely wrong. It is his time to grow and be nurtured until he goes off to college, and honestly probably even after due to the lack of concern that was given to him while he was growing up. What he did by getting his ss card, bc, etc was a smart move. It is time for him to move forward with his life. Try later in life to reconnect with your family, probably after some therapy to work through your emotions over this, it cannot hurt. Life sucks and I am glad someone was behind him to help him move to the next journey in his life. Enjoy what you have now, do not keep looking back at the past.
I can somewhat relate to him, but under far less serious circumstances. I've always had a feeling of being the last choice and the last everything for my parents. I am the last child, number 3 of 3, but it feels like more than that. Somehow my parents never really showed me any of the interest they gave my sisters through the years. There are way less pictures of me as a baby and child. They barely saved any drawings I made, or toys I liked, or books, etcetera, while they saved pretty much everything that was my sisters's stuff. My parents mix up memories of my sisters's with me, on so on. They can tell a story and think it's about me, and then I have to remind them that no, that was your first or second child: I'm number 3. Needless to say, now as an adult I don't have that much contact with anyone in my family. We keep in touch on social media but I never meet them. I don't see the point to have another reminder of how I am their last choice.
I think realizing that his feelings towards his sister were misdirected shows a lot of maturity in the OP. Whether it was their intention or not, his parents created a toxic home environment and robbed him of a proper childhood and his sister of the care she needed. I'm happy he has the support of his extended family and is strong enough to walk away yet still hopeful and open to a better relationship with his parents and sister in the future.
I would also add that this is the other side of the coin from the woman who posted the admittedly beautiful story about her Downs baby. I take NOTHING away from her, and I wouldn't trade my son for the world -- but to imply that it's the right choice for everyone was glib, and this is an example of why.
Simple, he is not the parent, he is the child and should be treated accordingly and his parents are wholly unprepared to look after a child with these needs. They sound selfish, uncaring and unpleasant. He is better off out of there.
This comment is partially true, but saying the parents are “wholly unprepared to look after a child with these needs” is a bit callous (unless I misunderstood, and pls forgive me if I have). Caring for a disabled person is EXTREMELY challenging, mentally, emotionally, and subsequently physically. And there is no break from it. It can feel like a prison sentence. Very few people have the mindset/capability to handle such a thing. Yet those who do, most make it day to day somehow...oftentimes, not very well. Failing to utilize existing supports is the parents’ “fault”...however, sense of duty, pride, obligation, love, and “trying to figure out how to do it” complicates things significantly. People in such tough situations deserve some grace, as it’s not easy (imagine trying endure such a thing yourself). There are no easy answers. Again, please forgive me if I misunderstood. But this situation isnt as black&white as many commenters suggest...and I feel it needed to be sai
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I'm the parent of an autistic son, I also have a daughter and I have absolutely made sure all the time that she is valued and loved and I have not put my son first and my daughter second. They are equal. My daughter needs to know she is loved as much as my autistic boy. It is one of the first lessons of parenting a disabled child, to remember to show you love all your children, not only the disabled one. It also actually helps the parents to be able to spend some valuable time with your non-disabled child; to be able to experience that time away from the disability; to remember there is more to your family than just the disability. And by so doing, it allows the non-disabled child to not feel abandoned, and used, but valued, and then they can develop a good and loving relationship with their disabled sibling.
I can relate & understand what he's been going through. I'm relieved for him, make a change for himself in a relatively young age. I'm in a similar case with him, and it took me 26 years to realize that it is unhealthy for my mental health. My parents are spoiling my older sister (now 30 yo), she's deaf. My parents always expect me to be the "big sister" & "act like 10 years older" than her. Imagine how's a 7-10 years old have to understand that. My parents always give her whatever she wants. I used to be suicidal in my teenage years, but I managed to overcame it. However, I've been very depressed to the extent that I hate myself and my existence. I've been hating my birthday till this day. I managed to go out of the house completely when I got a new job that's far away, so they have to let me out of the house. Even tho my parents still asking me money for her (she dont want to work). I always give my hard-earned money to them/her. But the bright side is at least now I'm out of the hse
Such a pathetic time for a young boy, the parents had the finances to get help but chose not to, those who somewhat sided for the parents give your head a shake, any parents with a child as that, yes we feel bad, however they treated their son, in a way was abusive, the son sounds intelligent and I wish him a great future, !!!
It's horrible how many parents abuse their authority over children. I wish these things didn't happen :(
This situation also sounds like there needs to be an investigation if the kid is a danger to self and others, as is clearly so and not getting the proper care required, CPS and DDD need to do a step in. Getting these services set up now and everything will make it easier to have them when she is an adult and will really need them. For the author, go far away from your parents. FAR AWAY!! Give them minimal contact information and request that other family members do not give out your address or phone number to them. Sign no documents or anything from your parents after you turn of age. Make a clean break away from them and stick with it. Your sister is their responsibility and theirs only. Period. End of discussion! Go do your life now and be honest. There are several other people in situations like yours who will empathize and need to know they are not alone.
Surely as a family you should help eachother, but that also means that the parents help him have a life of his own and don't expect him to be there 30/7, he needs freedom to be with friends, even go see a movie, the parents needs to plan around that movie then and just handle it, not toss his sister into his arms whenever convenient.
as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say that while children on the autism spectrum do need more attention than a neurotypical child does, it does seem like she was only being spoiled and played up knowing she could get away with it.
What a sad, sad situation. I'm so glad he's out of it. What a relief that he has the rest of his family to support him. I just hope his sister doesn't get neglected - they need keeping an eye on! I expect they were overwhelmed but they have made some really bad choices.
Poor kid - he is better off out of there at present - so the parents will need to arrange appropriate professional care.
Load More Replies... I know what it is like to take care of person who has disability. I was helping my mom to take care of my grandmother who had right half of body paralyzed. I was helping for 7 years; my "caretaker" role started when I was 12. It is 5 years since I left my house but and my grandmother has already passed away but I still remember her everyday's schedule like it was yesterday. It is hard duty as it has no days off. Even though my mom did not show much of appreciation, I understood I had to take responsibility because "children and grandchildren need to take care of their (grand)parents". Plus it was my mom taking the main load, I was just doing little things. And she was doing it alone, sigle mother of 2 kids, with full time job. That what upset me. My grandmother has 6 kids and even more grandchildren who are 10+years older than me. Where were they and their appreciation?
My Mum became by default the main "carer" for about a year for my grandmother when she began suffering from dementia. She was there 3 times a day making sure everything was ok - cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning house, keeping her company etc. I had 2 uncles and 2 aunts living locally - one of the aunts was actually a carer at a facility for the elderly - but they left my mum to it. My Grandmother was in receipt of "Carer's Allowance" which my mum faithfully banked every week. When my Grandmother passed away - there were no actual savings other than the year or so carer payment my mum had accumulated in the bank. This paid for the funeral expenses and she divided the small remainder equally between the 5 siblings. Only to be accused by an uncle - who lived away- of only caring for their mother because she was getting paid. She had never taken a penny of it and it caused a major family rift - sad.
Load More Replies... I agree that it's not his job to be his sister's caretaker. It's a shame the parents stole from his childhood and forced him to take care of her when it's ultimately their job. He's still a child himself and isn't trained to deal with her to the degree a trained professional would. If I were the sister I would be questioning about the alleged caretaker and shame them for not actually hiring one and giving their daughter the proper care she needs.
If you go to Reddit and dive deep into the comments on his first post, you'll see that his sister is severely autistic, and therefore in no position to question anything. Then explore the comments on his update and you'll see that the parents had been keeping both kids isolated their entire childhood, and how bad it really was.
Load More Replies... My younger child, a son, is HF autistic and my daughter, older, is neural-typical. I felt this story in my soul. I know I've asked my daughter to suck up a lot of her own feelings, because there were and are things about her brother that aren't going to change, and it's not fair, but when you are exhausted and worn out it happens -- and that's with a high functioning kid. Having said that, I also talk to my daughter about it a LOT, to the point where now she rolls her eyes and assures me it's not an issue and to stop worrying about it --and I also made sure to make time for just her. I don't understand why, with 2 parents in the home, it never occurred to them that one of them could still go to things for their son. It never occurred to them that they were asking too much. I guess I find it hard not to fault them. But do I fault him? NO. I do hope he gets some counseling though, for his own peace of mind, and bc, the reality is he probably will be responsible for her eventually.
It also never occurred to them to use the money they were being given to get support for their daughter. She's apparently a danger to herself and they left it to him?
Load More Replies... As a mother of a boy in the spectrum I am appalled yet not surprised. In the last 10 years I have seen countless families that have children in the spectrum, and time and time again I have seen how these families intentionally want to have more children to "help" the one that has autism. I have seen mothers forcing elder children to take care of the younger ones and I wouldn't be surprised if the parents of this young man would try for a baby soon for the same reason. As soon as our son was diagnosed at 2 and a half years, my husband and I decided it would be unfair to have more children.
His grandfather is a hero, reading how he reacted and protected his grandson made me cry. Thank God for his extended family, I wish him all the best.
Also, this sounds like some sort of fraud. We're they getting money from the government for a caretaker?
Load More Replies... I am sad to read this story, even with the outcomes. He lost his parents and sister throughout this whole issue. However, what was done to him is completely wrong. It is his time to grow and be nurtured until he goes off to college, and honestly probably even after due to the lack of concern that was given to him while he was growing up. What he did by getting his ss card, bc, etc was a smart move. It is time for him to move forward with his life. Try later in life to reconnect with your family, probably after some therapy to work through your emotions over this, it cannot hurt. Life sucks and I am glad someone was behind him to help him move to the next journey in his life. Enjoy what you have now, do not keep looking back at the past.
I can somewhat relate to him, but under far less serious circumstances. I've always had a feeling of being the last choice and the last everything for my parents. I am the last child, number 3 of 3, but it feels like more than that. Somehow my parents never really showed me any of the interest they gave my sisters through the years. There are way less pictures of me as a baby and child. They barely saved any drawings I made, or toys I liked, or books, etcetera, while they saved pretty much everything that was my sisters's stuff. My parents mix up memories of my sisters's with me, on so on. They can tell a story and think it's about me, and then I have to remind them that no, that was your first or second child: I'm number 3. Needless to say, now as an adult I don't have that much contact with anyone in my family. We keep in touch on social media but I never meet them. I don't see the point to have another reminder of how I am their last choice.
I think realizing that his feelings towards his sister were misdirected shows a lot of maturity in the OP. Whether it was their intention or not, his parents created a toxic home environment and robbed him of a proper childhood and his sister of the care she needed. I'm happy he has the support of his extended family and is strong enough to walk away yet still hopeful and open to a better relationship with his parents and sister in the future.
I would also add that this is the other side of the coin from the woman who posted the admittedly beautiful story about her Downs baby. I take NOTHING away from her, and I wouldn't trade my son for the world -- but to imply that it's the right choice for everyone was glib, and this is an example of why.
Simple, he is not the parent, he is the child and should be treated accordingly and his parents are wholly unprepared to look after a child with these needs. They sound selfish, uncaring and unpleasant. He is better off out of there.
This comment is partially true, but saying the parents are “wholly unprepared to look after a child with these needs” is a bit callous (unless I misunderstood, and pls forgive me if I have). Caring for a disabled person is EXTREMELY challenging, mentally, emotionally, and subsequently physically. And there is no break from it. It can feel like a prison sentence. Very few people have the mindset/capability to handle such a thing. Yet those who do, most make it day to day somehow...oftentimes, not very well. Failing to utilize existing supports is the parents’ “fault”...however, sense of duty, pride, obligation, love, and “trying to figure out how to do it” complicates things significantly. People in such tough situations deserve some grace, as it’s not easy (imagine trying endure such a thing yourself). There are no easy answers. Again, please forgive me if I misunderstood. But this situation isnt as black&white as many commenters suggest...and I feel it needed to be sai
Load More Replies... I'm the parent of an autistic son, I also have a daughter and I have absolutely made sure all the time that she is valued and loved and I have not put my son first and my daughter second. They are equal. My daughter needs to know she is loved as much as my autistic boy. It is one of the first lessons of parenting a disabled child, to remember to show you love all your children, not only the disabled one. It also actually helps the parents to be able to spend some valuable time with your non-disabled child; to be able to experience that time away from the disability; to remember there is more to your family than just the disability. And by so doing, it allows the non-disabled child to not feel abandoned, and used, but valued, and then they can develop a good and loving relationship with their disabled sibling.
I can relate & understand what he's been going through. I'm relieved for him, make a change for himself in a relatively young age. I'm in a similar case with him, and it took me 26 years to realize that it is unhealthy for my mental health. My parents are spoiling my older sister (now 30 yo), she's deaf. My parents always expect me to be the "big sister" & "act like 10 years older" than her. Imagine how's a 7-10 years old have to understand that. My parents always give her whatever she wants. I used to be suicidal in my teenage years, but I managed to overcame it. However, I've been very depressed to the extent that I hate myself and my existence. I've been hating my birthday till this day. I managed to go out of the house completely when I got a new job that's far away, so they have to let me out of the house. Even tho my parents still asking me money for her (she dont want to work). I always give my hard-earned money to them/her. But the bright side is at least now I'm out of the hse
Such a pathetic time for a young boy, the parents had the finances to get help but chose not to, those who somewhat sided for the parents give your head a shake, any parents with a child as that, yes we feel bad, however they treated their son, in a way was abusive, the son sounds intelligent and I wish him a great future, !!!
It's horrible how many parents abuse their authority over children. I wish these things didn't happen :(
This situation also sounds like there needs to be an investigation if the kid is a danger to self and others, as is clearly so and not getting the proper care required, CPS and DDD need to do a step in. Getting these services set up now and everything will make it easier to have them when she is an adult and will really need them. For the author, go far away from your parents. FAR AWAY!! Give them minimal contact information and request that other family members do not give out your address or phone number to them. Sign no documents or anything from your parents after you turn of age. Make a clean break away from them and stick with it. Your sister is their responsibility and theirs only. Period. End of discussion! Go do your life now and be honest. There are several other people in situations like yours who will empathize and need to know they are not alone.
Surely as a family you should help eachother, but that also means that the parents help him have a life of his own and don't expect him to be there 30/7, he needs freedom to be with friends, even go see a movie, the parents needs to plan around that movie then and just handle it, not toss his sister into his arms whenever convenient.
as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say that while children on the autism spectrum do need more attention than a neurotypical child does, it does seem like she was only being spoiled and played up knowing she could get away with it.
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