Woman Says That Situations Normal For Men Can Be Dangerous For Women, Sparks A Debate
It’s hard to imagine a world without a taxi, and more recently without such services like Uber and Lyft. But just as most convenient things, ridesharing has its own downfalls. Recently, a writer from Los Angeles, Jill Gutowitz, shared her unpleasant experiences when taking an Uber ride. Through her tweets, Gutowitz brought light to a much broader issue that people, especially men, don’t often consider. The writer stressed that many situations that seem normal for man can be dangerous for women. Other people quickly chimed in with their stories and opinions. “I wasn’t sure how widespread the issue was until I saw how many women responded to the post saying they’ve had the exact same experience countless times,” Jill told Bored Panda. She continued on saying that the issue was not isolated at all. “I think sexual harassment in Ubers and Lyfts is part of a larger systemic issue, which is a culture of misogyny and sexism” she added. Scroll down below to read the full story and tell us what you think in the comments!
More info: Twitter
Recently, a writer from Los Angeles, Jill Gutowitz, started a Twitter thread about her experiences with Uber drivers
The writer stressed that many situations that seem normal for man can be dangerous for women
Other women shared their experiences
This immediately sparked a discussion
122Kviews
Share on FacebookSee how Jeff is learning and realizing how his actions affect others and then changing his actions? Lets be more like Jeff everyone.
I agree. Let's be less like Tim (although I'm sure he had good intentions) and more like Jeff
Load More Replies...I'm a 13 (almost 14) year old girl, and I really hope that things change before I grow up!
Me too, Maci. I think you're as grown up as many people posting here.
Load More Replies...The very last reply, of Jeff McIver, about listening and taking people seriously... We really, really, REALLY need more people like him.
@Daria B: The question is not why would John care, it's how would he know.
Load More Replies...Highlights for Children lesson for the day: Tim is Goofus and Jeff is Gallant.
I see a lot of Beavis and Buttheads online too, Dorothy
Load More Replies..."At some point you'll need to be an adult, you DON'T need to play around with ridiculous explanations, lies and stay in a rideshare vehicle that you don't like." -- I would really love to unpack this statement a bit, because it probably seems reasonable to many people. (1/5)
If a woman, or anyone who presents as female, finds herself alone with a man who expresses interest in her, it is very important to begin evaluating the safest way out of the situation. Why? Because history is filled with those who did not, or who tried but failed to get away. Why not be afraid of a woman, or be afraid of every man? Many of us are! I would hesitate to get into a vehicle with a strange person of any description. But living life afraid of absolutely everyone is mentally crippling, so maybe we choose to consider the statistical likelihood (or lack thereof) of being murdered or raped by a woman, someone who is very petite or is physically frail, or by a man who is friendly and *should* be concerned by his reputation as a plumber or a cab driver or whatever. (2/5)
Load More Replies...I have been an Uber driver and the male creepy customers were just too much. I felt unsafe dealing with drunks, men thinking I wanted to hang out with them, pulling their d**k out, asking to hold my hand etc etc. It's not the Uber drivers. It's a certain group of gross abusive men. The End
We have that in the Netherlands. But it is actually silly that it is needed and used. Women should be able to safely use any taxi. Also as an driver. This women driving women doesn't solve the problem, it might even worsen it in the end. If we start segregating women from men we will end up more as 'mysterious strange sexy creatures, unlike men, from venus' , because they have less contact with us, and will be treated like that instead of equal human beings.
Load More Replies...Some of the best advice I ever received as a woman from an FBI homicide detective: Never under any circumstances let an assailant take you to a 2nd crime scene even if the assailant is armed. Instead- run towards a public area if possible, in a zigzag pattern while screaming "fire". Don't scream "help" scream "fire." People may be afraid or reluctant to help, but many people flock to lookie loo at a fire. Carry police grade pepper spray and keep it in your hand when walking alone. Be alert and keep your head up- this alone will make you a less desirable target. Check around your car from a distance before approaching it and have your car alarm adjust to unlock ONLY the driver's door on the first click. Do NOT keep your house keys on the same ring as your car keys. If you're carjacked you haven't given them access to your home. Also, keys make excellent impromptu weapons. Go for the eyes and the nose, clutch the key in your fist and ram it up the assailant's nose with all you've got
Very important- Be willing to hurt someone who's trying to hurt you. As women particularly older women- I'm 48- we were taught to be polite, mind our manners & cooperate. Chuck that out the window and fight dirty. You're looking to injure the bastard enough to give yourself time to get to safety. Be willing to be rude- if you feel threatened demand your personal space and pepper spray the person who insists on violating it because they might be about to violate YOU. As the FBI detective told me, it's better to apologize latter than have your family have to identify what's left of you. When facing a possible attacker- continually repeat the word NO not in a pleading please don't hurt me kind of way but in a way that is firm and forceful like you are in charge of the situation. Educate yourself on the ways you can learn and are comfortable using to defend yourself. I know in my heart of hearts what I'm prepared to do - I could shoot a home intruder without batting an eyelash, but
Load More Replies...It's disgusting that a man performing a service feels he has the right to speak to a woman customer that way. What gives him the clue that she wants to be picked up by some creepy Uber driver? He might be dangerous, or he might just be a dirty old man. The passenger has no way of determining that. Most women will err on the side of caution.
The civil liberties gap between men and women irritates me more every day. Particularly as most men are entirely oblivious to it.
It's honestly ridiculous at this point. Men try to act like they're more discriminated against sometimes(?) and it's getting annoying. I agree that men do have some disadvantages because they're often told to act manly as if they can't have feelings. Sometimes boys are told that if they don't have a desire to have sex, then they aren't acting the way they should. Because of this information, some boys try to say that they are more oppressed than women. But guess what? When a boy has gotten raped, you know who defended him and stood up for him? Feminists. You know who laughed and said he should have enjoyed it? Other men. We need to step back and think about who is really the problem here. But yeah that's just my small rant.
Load More Replies...Tim missed the point completely, this whole thing infuriates me as there are men out there that do not like this behavior at all! I want women to be just as safe as me when doing things like the above mentioned. Then you get all these little sparks of women hating groups which I will not dare mention because they do not deserve any mention on any social media platform. Raised by a single mum, I was taught respect. Not just taught it, but learnt it. And seeing anything like this just, well, pisses me off to no end. How dare they do that, they should all be fired, and Tim, shut up, get off social media and get on social etiquette. I could type a lot more about the foul taste this has left in my mouth but I won't go on.
It's always fun to go back on twitter and look up the accounts for the people who are jackasses on these topics to see how they react to being called out on their c**p and he was defensive and acted like he had to walk away because the people who were calling him out on his BS were being silly. Tim is such a coward.
I have never felt remotely safe taking an uber or lyft on my own. My boyfriend has no qualms about using it whether he is with me, or friends, or alone, but on my own? No way. I'll drink less so I can drive or make another arrangements for getting to and from somewhere, but I have never felt like taking a rideshare on my own as a woman, especially if I was going to or from my home or work, was a safe option. I know lots of men who will do it without even thinking about it, but as a woman, I just can't imagine a scenario in which I don't feel super uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst.
Anyone who asks if your destination is "your home", you can just reply that your are going to your parents and they are waiting for you. Also if u have your phone in your lap like many of you might, I suggest recording video at least to get the audio of the questioning. ((If it got "iffy". And you felt unsafe.)) You can also call a friend and talk to them on the phone instead of the driver. You can tell a driver to go to a gas station or mini mart as a side stop and just get out and end your ride then call another car. ((They should let you request a woman driver (same as a doctor) if that made people feel better.)) And lastly do not take rides "off the app" to save money. The app tracks your location. And your route. Both phones. That's against the policy and you should report drivers doing that. I had taxis from train stations pull that with me and I always ask for the meter or tell them I will call their dispatch. And I have. While in the car. They usually don't work again.
the OP has valid points, as do the commenters. things are so different from when I was a teenager, that I don't know that I could even do the whole Uber/Lyft thing as a customer. I'm always situationally aware, but it seems like it's not worth it to put myself in that kind of position. i'm hoping that most males that ask these intrusive questions do so out of ignorance & not for nefarious reasons. but as a female, we can't just assume that it's ignorance when our safety is at stake. Tim seems to be quite the tool (cancelling the ride & leave? sure, if he stops the car); Jeff is awesome for paying attention and learning from this. Be a Jeff, not a Tim
What worked for me is asking the same question back. They don't like 'smart' women. Just play the parrot game. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'. "No, do you have a boyfriend?'. 'So, you live alone?'. 'Yes, well no, I have cat, and 7 pet rats and they are really interesting creatures, did you know 97 procent of pet rats die of cancer? That is due to..(insert really monotone long boring story about pet rats).. isn't that awesome that the first pet rat known to humankind ever named Mylo could do that? And you? Do you live with your mother or something?'. Use the situation to finally use the best of your acting skills to be as boring as possible in a friendly way ánd always deflect the question, preferably in a weird way. If he answers that he does not live with his mother but alone; ask 'Why? Don't you like your mother or are there a lot of pizza places where you live?'. This really confuses them. And annoy's them. But they don't know why. Since you are being nice. So they leave you alone.
If ANY driver makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, call the office and lodge a complaint. He may not even realise he's had this effect on you.
i always breathe a huge sigh of relief to see that my lyft driver is a women. the last one i drove with was such a kind, understanding soul.
This happened to me not on Uber, but while using a ride-sharing service for a cross-continent drive. Long story short, it's damn near impossible to fly your dog into the UK unless you happen to be a millionaire. I managed to stay up for the first half of a 3 day drive, but then just fell asleep. When I woke up, the driver was staring at me with a huge grin on his face, then started talking about how it feels like we're a married couple, asked if I know how to cook, iron a shirt and whether I like kids. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. Being locked into a car, going 140 Km/h, thousands of kilometers away both from back home AND my place in Britain.... I've spent the rest of the trip on snapchat and checking we're still on the pre-agreed route...
Admittedly, for personal reasons I pretty much drive everywhere so I have zero experience with ride share services. But I've always seen Uber/Lyft as a form of legalized hitchhiking that you pay for. Those of us who remember the 70's and early 80's (although I was a kid then) heard over and over not to hitchhike as it was a good way to get raped or murdered. There were scary films shown to us in grade school of the police notifying parents of their daughter's death by hitchhiking. To this day I have a "no strangers in the car" rule.
If I don't want to have a conversation, I say "I don't hear well and I cannot (or will not) hear anything they are saying."
I've had horrible experiences regarding uber and the like... One time, I got so uncomfortable because the driver kept asking me about boyfriends and sex and he even talked about how he had sex with some woman before. Very uncomfortable! So in the middle of his narration, I pretended to answer a call and whispered "No, I'm still looking for a victim today but I guess I'm not hungry for blood at all..for now... *giggles... don't worry, we can share when I find one. OK bye!" LOL The driver's face immediately changed into a terrified one and I chose the right timing to ask him with my creepy but smiling face "Where are we going again?" Hahah the look on his face was priceless and I wanted to laugh but I had to keep acting!!! Just so you're wondering about what I did... I pretended/ talked like a ghoul (in our country, we call them "aswang"). If ever he reported me to the police, the latter won't believe him! With the modern life that we have now, most people don't believe in ghouls anymore but there are still some who do! I was amused that he believed in my acting!
*he's very good with a gun* I'm going to use that the next time a driver asks me if I have a bf
Well, here's a good reason (maybe) why we need ride shares just for women and children. I'm not sure it would be any safer, but maybe as an option. Does complaining to Uber or Lyft do any good in these circumstances? Maybe record the conversation if it's sketchy as proof? I don't use either service but have used cabs and not had these problems. That being said, I'm an older woman and usually had an adult handicapped person with me so...
As a woman, I think that in any rideshare situation the driver's job is to get your location and take you there. If the driver wants to ask questions, they should be appropriate and not personal questions. I am a delivery driver and sometimes I will ask people questions at their door. The questions are usually:"are you having a good evening?", "do you need cheese and pepper packets with your order?". For an Uber/Lyft driver the questions should pertain to the address and if they have heavy bags asking if they need help, questions about who they live with and whose house it is is crossing the line.
So much recognition, while we even don't live in the same country probably. I stopped using taxi's years ago and always drive at night (nightshifts that end around 5 ó clock at night) on my sturdy Dutch bike for an hour. A lot of people tell me that it is not safe to cycle home as a girl at night and I should get a cab. But for me it feels safer. 90 procent of the time (not kidding) I used a cab I always got these kind of conversations. When I try to tell people this they say 'the taxi-driver is just making an innocent conversation'. If that is true; why does it always ending up with him asking if I have a boyfriend? We could discuss the weather, the traffic, my hobby's, there are a million topics to talk about in an innocent conversation. Why always if I have a boyfriend and if I live alone?
As a 35 year old woman, I think it's a little bit in the middle. I do think there are certain situations where women are afraid but men don't feel the same vulnerability. For example, I am always very careful to hide my room number from other people at check in if I'm staying alone. That being said, some of these situations seem like ones that everyone encounters and needs to learn to navigate as an adult.
This is scarily true to the point we are scared of people playing pranks, i used to do pizza delivery and broke a guys nose who thought it was funny to sneak into my car while i was at the door getting the money off his friend
DRIVEHER.CA this is a ride-share for women only. Currently this is in Toronto but I hope this idea spreads to other cities as well. Women should never feel unsafe riding alone.
It's not just working jobs that require you to do house calls/deliveries alone, it's also needing a house call/delivery (usually a male) alone.
Why on earth do these folks keep patronizing Uber/Lyft? I’ve heard enough 2nd hand horror stories that I wouldnt give them a dime, ever. There’s 4 licensed taxi services in my town, and I’ve never heard a complaint about any of them. It’s called being a professional driver, which is to be polite and mind your own damn business.
My partner (also female) and I got into a cab the other day and my partner (the chatty one) started talking to the driver about Christmas, her son, how the drivers shift was going, that sort of banal politeness. I was in the back and wasn't really listening. I noticed that the driver was really chatty until she mentioned that we were in a relationship, at which point the driver clammed up and outwardly refused to say anything else to us. He had gone from friendly and accommodating to silent as soon as she mentioned that. She looked back at me, I shrugged and resumed staring out of the window. I understand people have their own views but that was as unnecessary as the time a driver came to our door, refused to take us as soon as he saw we were together and still tried to charge us the fare. If I'm alone, I avoid the personal life question. Feels safer that way.
Once when I was on an Uber, the driver (white, male, jock) asked if I was a virgin. Why would you ask me that?? "I thought you were hot" So just because you thought I was hot makes it okay to ask a question about something so sacred to my body? "I dunno (really stupid look on his face). Where you heading?" I want to leave, now. I jumped out of the car and canceled the ride. I know many of you will just look at this story without batting an eye, and I know that many others have had way worse stories than me, but this is one of mine.
CHL is the great equalizer. Never be a victim. Learn to responsibly use a firearm and it will be the most comforting thing you carry on a daily basis. My wife carries and my Daughter will.
uber is doing great. no prob here. but after grab takes over it... worst. i never open my mouth and when they ask 'where r we going?' i simply answer 'u can see it on the req.' there, the conversation is dead.
Rubbish there have been cases of taxi drivers assaulting people too.
Load More Replies...statistically while men have higher risk for aggravated assault, women are 3 times more likely to be victim to sexual assault and kidnapping, twice as likely for simple assault, and stalking.
Load More Replies...It will for you.. you are a man. And you are now - again - confirming that it's almost impossible for a man to understand what the issue for most women is. A driver seeking something uninvited from a female passenger will be on edge. You do not want to push him over, because that's where the real danger may start. All you can do is dull the edge by taking away options he thinks he may have. Women always have to think about their surroundings, the consequences of conversations or information shared on a level that men do not even realize exists. You get in a cab (because this is not exclusive for Lyft/uber whatever) drunk, you get home and you forget you ever had the ride. I get in a cab drunk, I have a good chance of insinuations of what the driver thinks we should do. Or that payment in kind is acceptable. And that's a 50/50.
Load More Replies...You're looking at the victims. Yes, men are more likely to experience violence. FROM OTHER MEN. Look the perpetrators. The vast majority of harm done to people is done by men.
Load More Replies...People can be empathetic for those who are being discriminated without having been discriminated themselves. If somebody at my school got beat up, I would sympathize for them and try to help them, even if I myself have never been beaten up. Going through a bad situation can help one understand what it's like, but you don't always have to have experience to have empathy.
Load More Replies...See how Jeff is learning and realizing how his actions affect others and then changing his actions? Lets be more like Jeff everyone.
I agree. Let's be less like Tim (although I'm sure he had good intentions) and more like Jeff
Load More Replies...I'm a 13 (almost 14) year old girl, and I really hope that things change before I grow up!
Me too, Maci. I think you're as grown up as many people posting here.
Load More Replies...The very last reply, of Jeff McIver, about listening and taking people seriously... We really, really, REALLY need more people like him.
@Daria B: The question is not why would John care, it's how would he know.
Load More Replies...Highlights for Children lesson for the day: Tim is Goofus and Jeff is Gallant.
I see a lot of Beavis and Buttheads online too, Dorothy
Load More Replies..."At some point you'll need to be an adult, you DON'T need to play around with ridiculous explanations, lies and stay in a rideshare vehicle that you don't like." -- I would really love to unpack this statement a bit, because it probably seems reasonable to many people. (1/5)
If a woman, or anyone who presents as female, finds herself alone with a man who expresses interest in her, it is very important to begin evaluating the safest way out of the situation. Why? Because history is filled with those who did not, or who tried but failed to get away. Why not be afraid of a woman, or be afraid of every man? Many of us are! I would hesitate to get into a vehicle with a strange person of any description. But living life afraid of absolutely everyone is mentally crippling, so maybe we choose to consider the statistical likelihood (or lack thereof) of being murdered or raped by a woman, someone who is very petite or is physically frail, or by a man who is friendly and *should* be concerned by his reputation as a plumber or a cab driver or whatever. (2/5)
Load More Replies...I have been an Uber driver and the male creepy customers were just too much. I felt unsafe dealing with drunks, men thinking I wanted to hang out with them, pulling their d**k out, asking to hold my hand etc etc. It's not the Uber drivers. It's a certain group of gross abusive men. The End
We have that in the Netherlands. But it is actually silly that it is needed and used. Women should be able to safely use any taxi. Also as an driver. This women driving women doesn't solve the problem, it might even worsen it in the end. If we start segregating women from men we will end up more as 'mysterious strange sexy creatures, unlike men, from venus' , because they have less contact with us, and will be treated like that instead of equal human beings.
Load More Replies...Some of the best advice I ever received as a woman from an FBI homicide detective: Never under any circumstances let an assailant take you to a 2nd crime scene even if the assailant is armed. Instead- run towards a public area if possible, in a zigzag pattern while screaming "fire". Don't scream "help" scream "fire." People may be afraid or reluctant to help, but many people flock to lookie loo at a fire. Carry police grade pepper spray and keep it in your hand when walking alone. Be alert and keep your head up- this alone will make you a less desirable target. Check around your car from a distance before approaching it and have your car alarm adjust to unlock ONLY the driver's door on the first click. Do NOT keep your house keys on the same ring as your car keys. If you're carjacked you haven't given them access to your home. Also, keys make excellent impromptu weapons. Go for the eyes and the nose, clutch the key in your fist and ram it up the assailant's nose with all you've got
Very important- Be willing to hurt someone who's trying to hurt you. As women particularly older women- I'm 48- we were taught to be polite, mind our manners & cooperate. Chuck that out the window and fight dirty. You're looking to injure the bastard enough to give yourself time to get to safety. Be willing to be rude- if you feel threatened demand your personal space and pepper spray the person who insists on violating it because they might be about to violate YOU. As the FBI detective told me, it's better to apologize latter than have your family have to identify what's left of you. When facing a possible attacker- continually repeat the word NO not in a pleading please don't hurt me kind of way but in a way that is firm and forceful like you are in charge of the situation. Educate yourself on the ways you can learn and are comfortable using to defend yourself. I know in my heart of hearts what I'm prepared to do - I could shoot a home intruder without batting an eyelash, but
Load More Replies...It's disgusting that a man performing a service feels he has the right to speak to a woman customer that way. What gives him the clue that she wants to be picked up by some creepy Uber driver? He might be dangerous, or he might just be a dirty old man. The passenger has no way of determining that. Most women will err on the side of caution.
The civil liberties gap between men and women irritates me more every day. Particularly as most men are entirely oblivious to it.
It's honestly ridiculous at this point. Men try to act like they're more discriminated against sometimes(?) and it's getting annoying. I agree that men do have some disadvantages because they're often told to act manly as if they can't have feelings. Sometimes boys are told that if they don't have a desire to have sex, then they aren't acting the way they should. Because of this information, some boys try to say that they are more oppressed than women. But guess what? When a boy has gotten raped, you know who defended him and stood up for him? Feminists. You know who laughed and said he should have enjoyed it? Other men. We need to step back and think about who is really the problem here. But yeah that's just my small rant.
Load More Replies...Tim missed the point completely, this whole thing infuriates me as there are men out there that do not like this behavior at all! I want women to be just as safe as me when doing things like the above mentioned. Then you get all these little sparks of women hating groups which I will not dare mention because they do not deserve any mention on any social media platform. Raised by a single mum, I was taught respect. Not just taught it, but learnt it. And seeing anything like this just, well, pisses me off to no end. How dare they do that, they should all be fired, and Tim, shut up, get off social media and get on social etiquette. I could type a lot more about the foul taste this has left in my mouth but I won't go on.
It's always fun to go back on twitter and look up the accounts for the people who are jackasses on these topics to see how they react to being called out on their c**p and he was defensive and acted like he had to walk away because the people who were calling him out on his BS were being silly. Tim is such a coward.
I have never felt remotely safe taking an uber or lyft on my own. My boyfriend has no qualms about using it whether he is with me, or friends, or alone, but on my own? No way. I'll drink less so I can drive or make another arrangements for getting to and from somewhere, but I have never felt like taking a rideshare on my own as a woman, especially if I was going to or from my home or work, was a safe option. I know lots of men who will do it without even thinking about it, but as a woman, I just can't imagine a scenario in which I don't feel super uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst.
Anyone who asks if your destination is "your home", you can just reply that your are going to your parents and they are waiting for you. Also if u have your phone in your lap like many of you might, I suggest recording video at least to get the audio of the questioning. ((If it got "iffy". And you felt unsafe.)) You can also call a friend and talk to them on the phone instead of the driver. You can tell a driver to go to a gas station or mini mart as a side stop and just get out and end your ride then call another car. ((They should let you request a woman driver (same as a doctor) if that made people feel better.)) And lastly do not take rides "off the app" to save money. The app tracks your location. And your route. Both phones. That's against the policy and you should report drivers doing that. I had taxis from train stations pull that with me and I always ask for the meter or tell them I will call their dispatch. And I have. While in the car. They usually don't work again.
the OP has valid points, as do the commenters. things are so different from when I was a teenager, that I don't know that I could even do the whole Uber/Lyft thing as a customer. I'm always situationally aware, but it seems like it's not worth it to put myself in that kind of position. i'm hoping that most males that ask these intrusive questions do so out of ignorance & not for nefarious reasons. but as a female, we can't just assume that it's ignorance when our safety is at stake. Tim seems to be quite the tool (cancelling the ride & leave? sure, if he stops the car); Jeff is awesome for paying attention and learning from this. Be a Jeff, not a Tim
What worked for me is asking the same question back. They don't like 'smart' women. Just play the parrot game. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'. "No, do you have a boyfriend?'. 'So, you live alone?'. 'Yes, well no, I have cat, and 7 pet rats and they are really interesting creatures, did you know 97 procent of pet rats die of cancer? That is due to..(insert really monotone long boring story about pet rats).. isn't that awesome that the first pet rat known to humankind ever named Mylo could do that? And you? Do you live with your mother or something?'. Use the situation to finally use the best of your acting skills to be as boring as possible in a friendly way ánd always deflect the question, preferably in a weird way. If he answers that he does not live with his mother but alone; ask 'Why? Don't you like your mother or are there a lot of pizza places where you live?'. This really confuses them. And annoy's them. But they don't know why. Since you are being nice. So they leave you alone.
If ANY driver makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, call the office and lodge a complaint. He may not even realise he's had this effect on you.
i always breathe a huge sigh of relief to see that my lyft driver is a women. the last one i drove with was such a kind, understanding soul.
This happened to me not on Uber, but while using a ride-sharing service for a cross-continent drive. Long story short, it's damn near impossible to fly your dog into the UK unless you happen to be a millionaire. I managed to stay up for the first half of a 3 day drive, but then just fell asleep. When I woke up, the driver was staring at me with a huge grin on his face, then started talking about how it feels like we're a married couple, asked if I know how to cook, iron a shirt and whether I like kids. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. Being locked into a car, going 140 Km/h, thousands of kilometers away both from back home AND my place in Britain.... I've spent the rest of the trip on snapchat and checking we're still on the pre-agreed route...
Admittedly, for personal reasons I pretty much drive everywhere so I have zero experience with ride share services. But I've always seen Uber/Lyft as a form of legalized hitchhiking that you pay for. Those of us who remember the 70's and early 80's (although I was a kid then) heard over and over not to hitchhike as it was a good way to get raped or murdered. There were scary films shown to us in grade school of the police notifying parents of their daughter's death by hitchhiking. To this day I have a "no strangers in the car" rule.
If I don't want to have a conversation, I say "I don't hear well and I cannot (or will not) hear anything they are saying."
I've had horrible experiences regarding uber and the like... One time, I got so uncomfortable because the driver kept asking me about boyfriends and sex and he even talked about how he had sex with some woman before. Very uncomfortable! So in the middle of his narration, I pretended to answer a call and whispered "No, I'm still looking for a victim today but I guess I'm not hungry for blood at all..for now... *giggles... don't worry, we can share when I find one. OK bye!" LOL The driver's face immediately changed into a terrified one and I chose the right timing to ask him with my creepy but smiling face "Where are we going again?" Hahah the look on his face was priceless and I wanted to laugh but I had to keep acting!!! Just so you're wondering about what I did... I pretended/ talked like a ghoul (in our country, we call them "aswang"). If ever he reported me to the police, the latter won't believe him! With the modern life that we have now, most people don't believe in ghouls anymore but there are still some who do! I was amused that he believed in my acting!
*he's very good with a gun* I'm going to use that the next time a driver asks me if I have a bf
Well, here's a good reason (maybe) why we need ride shares just for women and children. I'm not sure it would be any safer, but maybe as an option. Does complaining to Uber or Lyft do any good in these circumstances? Maybe record the conversation if it's sketchy as proof? I don't use either service but have used cabs and not had these problems. That being said, I'm an older woman and usually had an adult handicapped person with me so...
As a woman, I think that in any rideshare situation the driver's job is to get your location and take you there. If the driver wants to ask questions, they should be appropriate and not personal questions. I am a delivery driver and sometimes I will ask people questions at their door. The questions are usually:"are you having a good evening?", "do you need cheese and pepper packets with your order?". For an Uber/Lyft driver the questions should pertain to the address and if they have heavy bags asking if they need help, questions about who they live with and whose house it is is crossing the line.
So much recognition, while we even don't live in the same country probably. I stopped using taxi's years ago and always drive at night (nightshifts that end around 5 ó clock at night) on my sturdy Dutch bike for an hour. A lot of people tell me that it is not safe to cycle home as a girl at night and I should get a cab. But for me it feels safer. 90 procent of the time (not kidding) I used a cab I always got these kind of conversations. When I try to tell people this they say 'the taxi-driver is just making an innocent conversation'. If that is true; why does it always ending up with him asking if I have a boyfriend? We could discuss the weather, the traffic, my hobby's, there are a million topics to talk about in an innocent conversation. Why always if I have a boyfriend and if I live alone?
As a 35 year old woman, I think it's a little bit in the middle. I do think there are certain situations where women are afraid but men don't feel the same vulnerability. For example, I am always very careful to hide my room number from other people at check in if I'm staying alone. That being said, some of these situations seem like ones that everyone encounters and needs to learn to navigate as an adult.
This is scarily true to the point we are scared of people playing pranks, i used to do pizza delivery and broke a guys nose who thought it was funny to sneak into my car while i was at the door getting the money off his friend
DRIVEHER.CA this is a ride-share for women only. Currently this is in Toronto but I hope this idea spreads to other cities as well. Women should never feel unsafe riding alone.
It's not just working jobs that require you to do house calls/deliveries alone, it's also needing a house call/delivery (usually a male) alone.
Why on earth do these folks keep patronizing Uber/Lyft? I’ve heard enough 2nd hand horror stories that I wouldnt give them a dime, ever. There’s 4 licensed taxi services in my town, and I’ve never heard a complaint about any of them. It’s called being a professional driver, which is to be polite and mind your own damn business.
My partner (also female) and I got into a cab the other day and my partner (the chatty one) started talking to the driver about Christmas, her son, how the drivers shift was going, that sort of banal politeness. I was in the back and wasn't really listening. I noticed that the driver was really chatty until she mentioned that we were in a relationship, at which point the driver clammed up and outwardly refused to say anything else to us. He had gone from friendly and accommodating to silent as soon as she mentioned that. She looked back at me, I shrugged and resumed staring out of the window. I understand people have their own views but that was as unnecessary as the time a driver came to our door, refused to take us as soon as he saw we were together and still tried to charge us the fare. If I'm alone, I avoid the personal life question. Feels safer that way.
Once when I was on an Uber, the driver (white, male, jock) asked if I was a virgin. Why would you ask me that?? "I thought you were hot" So just because you thought I was hot makes it okay to ask a question about something so sacred to my body? "I dunno (really stupid look on his face). Where you heading?" I want to leave, now. I jumped out of the car and canceled the ride. I know many of you will just look at this story without batting an eye, and I know that many others have had way worse stories than me, but this is one of mine.
CHL is the great equalizer. Never be a victim. Learn to responsibly use a firearm and it will be the most comforting thing you carry on a daily basis. My wife carries and my Daughter will.
uber is doing great. no prob here. but after grab takes over it... worst. i never open my mouth and when they ask 'where r we going?' i simply answer 'u can see it on the req.' there, the conversation is dead.
Rubbish there have been cases of taxi drivers assaulting people too.
Load More Replies...statistically while men have higher risk for aggravated assault, women are 3 times more likely to be victim to sexual assault and kidnapping, twice as likely for simple assault, and stalking.
Load More Replies...It will for you.. you are a man. And you are now - again - confirming that it's almost impossible for a man to understand what the issue for most women is. A driver seeking something uninvited from a female passenger will be on edge. You do not want to push him over, because that's where the real danger may start. All you can do is dull the edge by taking away options he thinks he may have. Women always have to think about their surroundings, the consequences of conversations or information shared on a level that men do not even realize exists. You get in a cab (because this is not exclusive for Lyft/uber whatever) drunk, you get home and you forget you ever had the ride. I get in a cab drunk, I have a good chance of insinuations of what the driver thinks we should do. Or that payment in kind is acceptable. And that's a 50/50.
Load More Replies...You're looking at the victims. Yes, men are more likely to experience violence. FROM OTHER MEN. Look the perpetrators. The vast majority of harm done to people is done by men.
Load More Replies...People can be empathetic for those who are being discriminated without having been discriminated themselves. If somebody at my school got beat up, I would sympathize for them and try to help them, even if I myself have never been beaten up. Going through a bad situation can help one understand what it's like, but you don't always have to have experience to have empathy.
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