Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Says That Situations Normal For Men Can Be Dangerous For Women, Sparks A Debate
User submission
2.8K
122.1K

Woman Says That Situations Normal For Men Can Be Dangerous For Women, Sparks A Debate

ADVERTISEMENT

It’s hard to imagine a world without a taxi, and more recently without such services like Uber and Lyft. But just as most convenient things, ridesharing has its own downfalls. Recently, a writer from Los Angeles, Jill Gutowitz, shared her unpleasant experiences when taking an Uber ride. Through her tweets, Gutowitz brought light to a much broader issue that people, especially men, don’t often consider. The writer stressed that many situations that seem normal for man can be dangerous for women. Other people quickly chimed in with their stories and opinions. “I wasn’t sure how widespread the issue was until I saw how many women responded to the post saying they’ve had the exact same experience countless times,” Jill told Bored Panda. She continued on saying that the issue was not isolated at all. “I think sexual harassment in Ubers and Lyfts is part of a larger systemic issue, which is a culture of misogyny and sexism” she added. Scroll down below to read the full story and tell us what you think in the comments!

More info: Twitter

Recently, a writer from Los Angeles, Jill Gutowitz, started a Twitter thread about her experiences with Uber drivers

The writer stressed that many situations that seem normal for man can be dangerous for women

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Other women shared their experiences

ADVERTISEMENT

This immediately sparked a discussion

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

122Kviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Join the conversation
Add photo comments
POST
mrj15 avatar
Smoofy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See how Jeff is learning and realizing how his actions affect others and then changing his actions? Lets be more like Jeff everyone.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Let's be less like Tim (although I'm sure he had good intentions) and more like Jeff

Load More Replies...
macimae654 avatar
Maci Wilcox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a 13 (almost 14) year old girl, and I really hope that things change before I grow up!

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very last reply, of Jeff McIver, about listening and taking people seriously... We really, really, REALLY need more people like him.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"At some point you'll need to be an adult, you DON'T need to play around with ridiculous explanations, lies and stay in a rideshare vehicle that you don't like." -- I would really love to unpack this statement a bit, because it probably seems reasonable to many people. (1/5)

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a woman, or anyone who presents as female, finds herself alone with a man who expresses interest in her, it is very important to begin evaluating the safest way out of the situation. Why? Because history is filled with those who did not, or who tried but failed to get away. Why not be afraid of a woman, or be afraid of every man? Many of us are! I would hesitate to get into a vehicle with a strange person of any description. But living life afraid of absolutely everyone is mentally crippling, so maybe we choose to consider the statistical likelihood (or lack thereof) of being murdered or raped by a woman, someone who is very petite or is physically frail, or by a man who is friendly and *should* be concerned by his reputation as a plumber or a cab driver or whatever. (2/5)

Load More Replies...
estherb_1 avatar
Esther B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been an Uber driver and the male creepy customers were just too much. I felt unsafe dealing with drunks, men thinking I wanted to hang out with them, pulling their d**k out, asking to hold my hand etc etc. It's not the Uber drivers. It's a certain group of gross abusive men. The End

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have that in the Netherlands. But it is actually silly that it is needed and used. Women should be able to safely use any taxi. Also as an driver. This women driving women doesn't solve the problem, it might even worsen it in the end. If we start segregating women from men we will end up more as 'mysterious strange sexy creatures, unlike men, from venus' , because they have less contact with us, and will be treated like that instead of equal human beings.

Load More Replies...
crabcrab avatar
Hans
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uber might not be that much of an advancement. Such things are much less likely in registered, GPS-tracked taxis driven by registered, certified drivers. Yes, they are more expensive. I still take them. And I am a man.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of the best advice I ever received as a woman from an FBI homicide detective: Never under any circumstances let an assailant take you to a 2nd crime scene even if the assailant is armed. Instead- run towards a public area if possible, in a zigzag pattern while screaming "fire". Don't scream "help" scream "fire." People may be afraid or reluctant to help, but many people flock to lookie loo at a fire. Carry police grade pepper spray and keep it in your hand when walking alone. Be alert and keep your head up- this alone will make you a less desirable target. Check around your car from a distance before approaching it and have your car alarm adjust to unlock ONLY the driver's door on the first click. Do NOT keep your house keys on the same ring as your car keys. If you're carjacked you haven't given them access to your home. Also, keys make excellent impromptu weapons. Go for the eyes and the nose, clutch the key in your fist and ram it up the assailant's nose with all you've got

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very important- Be willing to hurt someone who's trying to hurt you. As women particularly older women- I'm 48- we were taught to be polite, mind our manners & cooperate. Chuck that out the window and fight dirty. You're looking to injure the bastard enough to give yourself time to get to safety. Be willing to be rude- if you feel threatened demand your personal space and pepper spray the person who insists on violating it because they might be about to violate YOU. As the FBI detective told me, it's better to apologize latter than have your family have to identify what's left of you. When facing a possible attacker- continually repeat the word NO not in a pleading please don't hurt me kind of way but in a way that is firm and forceful like you are in charge of the situation. Educate yourself on the ways you can learn and are comfortable using to defend yourself. I know in my heart of hearts what I'm prepared to do - I could shoot a home intruder without batting an eyelash, but

Load More Replies...
catmarshall57 avatar
BusLady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disgusting that a man performing a service feels he has the right to speak to a woman customer that way. What gives him the clue that she wants to be picked up by some creepy Uber driver? He might be dangerous, or he might just be a dirty old man. The passenger has no way of determining that. Most women will err on the side of caution.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The civil liberties gap between men and women irritates me more every day. Particularly as most men are entirely oblivious to it.

maggieniemeyer avatar
Car Alarm
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's honestly ridiculous at this point. Men try to act like they're more discriminated against sometimes(?) and it's getting annoying. I agree that men do have some disadvantages because they're often told to act manly as if they can't have feelings. Sometimes boys are told that if they don't have a desire to have sex, then they aren't acting the way they should. Because of this information, some boys try to say that they are more oppressed than women. But guess what? When a boy has gotten raped, you know who defended him and stood up for him? Feminists. You know who laughed and said he should have enjoyed it? Other men. We need to step back and think about who is really the problem here. But yeah that's just my small rant.

Load More Replies...
cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tim missed the point completely, this whole thing infuriates me as there are men out there that do not like this behavior at all! I want women to be just as safe as me when doing things like the above mentioned. Then you get all these little sparks of women hating groups which I will not dare mention because they do not deserve any mention on any social media platform. Raised by a single mum, I was taught respect. Not just taught it, but learnt it. And seeing anything like this just, well, pisses me off to no end. How dare they do that, they should all be fired, and Tim, shut up, get off social media and get on social etiquette. I could type a lot more about the foul taste this has left in my mouth but I won't go on.

aeschlimann-nauwelaers avatar
Fien
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else wanted to kick Tim in the balls? This is about how WOMEN experience these situations, Tim. Are you a woman, Tim? Try to be more like Jeff, Tim. Hope your mom/sister/daughter is really proud of you, Tim

fernandojones avatar
Fernando Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's always fun to go back on twitter and look up the accounts for the people who are jackasses on these topics to see how they react to being called out on their c**p and he was defensive and acted like he had to walk away because the people who were calling him out on his BS were being silly. Tim is such a coward.

kouldb avatar
Kould B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The safer option is to use a taxi cab. More expensive. But generally safer. Girls can't do everything boys can. That's a myth. Always was & always will be.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Safe to say that ol’ Tim has given the whole “insult a lecherous guy at night to make him leave you alone” scenario, all of a minute’s thought.

sunflowerbrushtail avatar
Megan Pippenger
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never felt remotely safe taking an uber or lyft on my own. My boyfriend has no qualms about using it whether he is with me, or friends, or alone, but on my own? No way. I'll drink less so I can drive or make another arrangements for getting to and from somewhere, but I have never felt like taking a rideshare on my own as a woman, especially if I was going to or from my home or work, was a safe option. I know lots of men who will do it without even thinking about it, but as a woman, I just can't imagine a scenario in which I don't feel super uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst.

552fab0e35350 avatar
Mad Mar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who asks if your destination is "your home", you can just reply that your are going to your parents and they are waiting for you. Also if u have your phone in your lap like many of you might, I suggest recording video at least to get the audio of the questioning. ((If it got "iffy". And you felt unsafe.)) You can also call a friend and talk to them on the phone instead of the driver. You can tell a driver to go to a gas station or mini mart as a side stop and just get out and end your ride then call another car. ((They should let you request a woman driver (same as a doctor) if that made people feel better.)) And lastly do not take rides "off the app" to save money. The app tracks your location. And your route. Both phones. That's against the policy and you should report drivers doing that. I had taxis from train stations pull that with me and I always ask for the meter or tell them I will call their dispatch. And I have. While in the car. They usually don't work again.

tlilly avatar
Lilly
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the OP has valid points, as do the commenters. things are so different from when I was a teenager, that I don't know that I could even do the whole Uber/Lyft thing as a customer. I'm always situationally aware, but it seems like it's not worth it to put myself in that kind of position. i'm hoping that most males that ask these intrusive questions do so out of ignorance & not for nefarious reasons. but as a female, we can't just assume that it's ignorance when our safety is at stake. Tim seems to be quite the tool (cancelling the ride & leave? sure, if he stops the car); Jeff is awesome for paying attention and learning from this. Be a Jeff, not a Tim

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What worked for me is asking the same question back. They don't like 'smart' women. Just play the parrot game. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'. "No, do you have a boyfriend?'. 'So, you live alone?'. 'Yes, well no, I have cat, and 7 pet rats and they are really interesting creatures, did you know 97 procent of pet rats die of cancer? That is due to..(insert really monotone long boring story about pet rats).. isn't that awesome that the first pet rat known to humankind ever named Mylo could do that? And you? Do you live with your mother or something?'. Use the situation to finally use the best of your acting skills to be as boring as possible in a friendly way ánd always deflect the question, preferably in a weird way. If he answers that he does not live with his mother but alone; ask 'Why? Don't you like your mother or are there a lot of pizza places where you live?'. This really confuses them. And annoy's them. But they don't know why. Since you are being nice. So they leave you alone.

lizmolloy1969 avatar
Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If ANY driver makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, call the office and lodge a complaint. He may not even realise he's had this effect on you.

rosebona avatar
athornedrose
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i always breathe a huge sigh of relief to see that my lyft driver is a women. the last one i drove with was such a kind, understanding soul.

zselyke_szekely avatar
Nomadus Aureus
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to me not on Uber, but while using a ride-sharing service for a cross-continent drive. Long story short, it's damn near impossible to fly your dog into the UK unless you happen to be a millionaire. I managed to stay up for the first half of a 3 day drive, but then just fell asleep. When I woke up, the driver was staring at me with a huge grin on his face, then started talking about how it feels like we're a married couple, asked if I know how to cook, iron a shirt and whether I like kids. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. Being locked into a car, going 140 Km/h, thousands of kilometers away both from back home AND my place in Britain.... I've spent the rest of the trip on snapchat and checking we're still on the pre-agreed route...

earloflincoln avatar
Martha Meyer
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Load More Replies...
wolfpuppet avatar
Bored Fox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reading this makes me happy that where I live the bus is very cheap, safe and good way to move everywhere so no one needs to take a taxi. Where I live it is usually just disabled and old people who use taxi because they usually can't walk to the nearest bus stop.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Admittedly, for personal reasons I pretty much drive everywhere so I have zero experience with ride share services. But I've always seen Uber/Lyft as a form of legalized hitchhiking that you pay for. Those of us who remember the 70's and early 80's (although I was a kid then) heard over and over not to hitchhike as it was a good way to get raped or murdered. There were scary films shown to us in grade school of the police notifying parents of their daughter's death by hitchhiking. To this day I have a "no strangers in the car" rule.

dstireman avatar
Denice Smith
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I don't want to have a conversation, I say "I don't hear well and I cannot (or will not) hear anything they are saying."

heidimatsumoto avatar
Heidi Matsumoto
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had horrible experiences regarding uber and the like... One time, I got so uncomfortable because the driver kept asking me about boyfriends and sex and he even talked about how he had sex with some woman before. Very uncomfortable! So in the middle of his narration, I pretended to answer a call and whispered "No, I'm still looking for a victim today but I guess I'm not hungry for blood at all..for now... *giggles... don't worry, we can share when I find one. OK bye!" LOL The driver's face immediately changed into a terrified one and I chose the right timing to ask him with my creepy but smiling face "Where are we going again?" Hahah the look on his face was priceless and I wanted to laugh but I had to keep acting!!! Just so you're wondering about what I did... I pretended/ talked like a ghoul (in our country, we call them "aswang"). If ever he reported me to the police, the latter won't believe him! With the modern life that we have now, most people don't believe in ghouls anymore but there are still some who do! I was amused that he believed in my acting!

colettedionne avatar
UnicornHuman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*he's very good with a gun* I'm going to use that the next time a driver asks me if I have a bf

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, here's a good reason (maybe) why we need ride shares just for women and children. I'm not sure it would be any safer, but maybe as an option. Does complaining to Uber or Lyft do any good in these circumstances? Maybe record the conversation if it's sketchy as proof? I don't use either service but have used cabs and not had these problems. That being said, I'm an older woman and usually had an adult handicapped person with me so...

kevinyu avatar
Kevin Yu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get a machete and hold it in a very obvious spot while trying to "conceal'" it. No one will mess with you

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman, I think that in any rideshare situation the driver's job is to get your location and take you there. If the driver wants to ask questions, they should be appropriate and not personal questions. I am a delivery driver and sometimes I will ask people questions at their door. The questions are usually:"are you having a good evening?", "do you need cheese and pepper packets with your order?". For an Uber/Lyft driver the questions should pertain to the address and if they have heavy bags asking if they need help, questions about who they live with and whose house it is is crossing the line.

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much recognition, while we even don't live in the same country probably. I stopped using taxi's years ago and always drive at night (nightshifts that end around 5 ó clock at night) on my sturdy Dutch bike for an hour. A lot of people tell me that it is not safe to cycle home as a girl at night and I should get a cab. But for me it feels safer. 90 procent of the time (not kidding) I used a cab I always got these kind of conversations. When I try to tell people this they say 'the taxi-driver is just making an innocent conversation'. If that is true; why does it always ending up with him asking if I have a boyfriend? We could discuss the weather, the traffic, my hobby's, there are a million topics to talk about in an innocent conversation. Why always if I have a boyfriend and if I live alone?

cverrilli avatar
Dr. Carlos Dangercat
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a 35 year old woman, I think it's a little bit in the middle. I do think there are certain situations where women are afraid but men don't feel the same vulnerability. For example, I am always very careful to hide my room number from other people at check in if I'm staying alone. That being said, some of these situations seem like ones that everyone encounters and needs to learn to navigate as an adult.

samantha_greenaway93 avatar
Samantha Greenaway
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is scarily true to the point we are scared of people playing pranks, i used to do pizza delivery and broke a guys nose who thought it was funny to sneak into my car while i was at the door getting the money off his friend

curtis_morgan69 avatar
furrybumkins
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DRIVEHER.CA this is a ride-share for women only. Currently this is in Toronto but I hope this idea spreads to other cities as well. Women should never feel unsafe riding alone.

danielle_5678 avatar
Danielle Holder
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just working jobs that require you to do house calls/deliveries alone, it's also needing a house call/delivery (usually a male) alone.

twostroketerror avatar
Pungent Sauce
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why on earth do these folks keep patronizing Uber/Lyft? I’ve heard enough 2nd hand horror stories that I wouldnt give them a dime, ever. There’s 4 licensed taxi services in my town, and I’ve never heard a complaint about any of them. It’s called being a professional driver, which is to be polite and mind your own damn business.

acswonderwoman avatar
Amy Smith
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner (also female) and I got into a cab the other day and my partner (the chatty one) started talking to the driver about Christmas, her son, how the drivers shift was going, that sort of banal politeness. I was in the back and wasn't really listening. I noticed that the driver was really chatty until she mentioned that we were in a relationship, at which point the driver clammed up and outwardly refused to say anything else to us. He had gone from friendly and accommodating to silent as soon as she mentioned that. She looked back at me, I shrugged and resumed staring out of the window. I understand people have their own views but that was as unnecessary as the time a driver came to our door, refused to take us as soon as he saw we were together and still tried to charge us the fare. If I'm alone, I avoid the personal life question. Feels safer that way.

aannemartens avatar
Audrey Martens
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once when I was on an Uber, the driver (white, male, jock) asked if I was a virgin. Why would you ask me that?? "I thought you were hot" So just because you thought I was hot makes it okay to ask a question about something so sacred to my body? "I dunno (really stupid look on his face). Where you heading?" I want to leave, now. I jumped out of the car and canceled the ride. I know many of you will just look at this story without batting an eye, and I know that many others have had way worse stories than me, but this is one of mine.

rageracer avatar
Rage Racer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

CHL is the great equalizer. Never be a victim. Learn to responsibly use a firearm and it will be the most comforting thing you carry on a daily basis. My wife carries and my Daughter will.

kouldb avatar
Kould B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a safer solution. Use registered taxi cabs. More expensive. But you're safer. I don't know why women take the risk tbh. Because that story they keep telling you about how girls can do anything boys can. It's a blatant lie. The world just doesn't work that way.

shazrint avatar
Tiara Shaz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

uber is doing great. no prob here. but after grab takes over it... worst. i never open my mouth and when they ask 'where r we going?' i simply answer 'u can see it on the req.' there, the conversation is dead.

lovetheliz avatar
Liz Karsa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as i get in the Uber I put my headphones in....many times without music playing...and tell the driver if they are trying to talk to me that i am listening to some work notes. Works every time.

erinsheppard avatar
Erin Sheppard
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I am a woman and I agree with Tim Shanks- seriously ladies. Make a call, stop the ride, whatever it takes to BE SAFE. So you'd rather feel unsafe for an uncertain amount of time then p**s someone off or hurt their feelings? Then UNSAFE is NOT the feeling you have... uneasy, maybe, but UNSAFE, please. Ride shares require bg checks and all that jazz and while, yes, there are some weirdos out there... you akll are getting out of hand. "I lie about my sexuality to stay safe" PULEASE - How about I am going home, I might or might not live alone, your questions are making me uncomfortable - do know that I am armed at all times and will not hesitate to protect myself or my children. SO you're scared. Guess what , we all get scared sometime, THIS is the time to S**T or get off the pot!

archie_on_the_net avatar
Vincent Philippart
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another downside of the Uber economy. Uber drivers are not professionnals. They don't get the rights and protection workers get, and they also don't get the training and supervision of actual taxi drivers. Don't be socially irresponsible, don't ride Uber.

r3dd3v1ll avatar
r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Okay first off- why not just use a real taxi/ cab? After all uber is banned in several countries and is operating on the edge of law in others. Secondly @Wendy Qualls- what about police women, women in the army, miners, oil rig workers, sailors etc. Are their jobs as dangerous as delivering pizza or repairing a boiler?

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Talk about being scared of your shadow - just stay home with your cats (but not that one calico cat - it's looking at you funny - best write some "we women are all f****d" web article about it).

rbmail avatar
Zebwe
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Maybe use a f*ing taxi because they are licensed and strictly monitored professionals instead of just some random guys.

mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
sharronlparsons avatar
sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I had no idea women had to deal with such a horrific problem, I live in a small city, consider taking a self defense class !!!

nickcox avatar
Nick Cox
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I kinda agree with Tim, The world is a lot more dangerous for men (see violence, assault, robbery, homelessness, work accidents, suicide, healthcare and murder). So men do understand as what it means to face fear in their everyday lives from other men and women as well. I think the best thing to do is learn to cut to the point " you do or say xxx...it makes me feel xxx and I will call the police or leave if you continue ect.." Or start proactively acting out, get out and request a new uber, give them 0 stars. Call the police... but being passive aggressive and quiet will only make you open to more of this behavior or leave your attacker thinking its ok to carry on in that fashion... The point is see something and say something or act on your best interest. I get that you are scared but don’t sit in silence and complain later. Make your actions felt

jnk45959 avatar
BitterSweetWisdom
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Same, i dont understand why you are getting downvoted when it is a factual statement to say that men are victims of violence as well as women, sometimes even more.

Load More Replies...
brooke-pomsan avatar
Brooke
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yeah..I find the first woman, I guess the writer, desperately wanting to be seen as "woke". I disagree with her assertion that telling your uber driver you're at your boyfriends house is effective because of heteronormative standards or the patriarchy. It's simply because a man is usually psychically stronger and more likely to impede a prospective assailant. Also, why does she feel the need to say that WOC are more likely to be assaulted?That may be statistically true, it just seems extraneous and forcefully wedged in to her statement in order to pander to the Twitter community. I find people like this really disingenuous and grading.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree Brooke, although it is true that there are situations where we as women are more vulnerable, the post begins to read like an invitation to a pity party. As a survivor (note: not victim) of sexual abuse by a family member as a preteen/teen and sexual assault by a stranger in my 20's I know what it is to be afraid of being assaulted again. But at some one decides to proactively protect oneself and take responsibility for your own safety. I care police grade pepper spray on both my key ring (so it's in my pocket) and in my handbag, I have a third larger canister in my car. When I'm walking to and from my car I have my self-defense key fob in my hand. When alone in an area I stay out of arms reach of strangers both male and female. If you've watched much true crime on TV you may notice that the worst predators often have female accomplices in order to lure other women into a sense of safety. I remain alert (perhaps even hyper-vigilant) of my surroundings.

Load More Replies...
ericcox avatar
Eric Cox
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Men = 80% of assault victims. Sorry you feel unsafe but in reality being a man even a white man isn't a magical pass for avoiding violence.

sdavisallmond avatar
Sussanne Davis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

statistically while men have higher risk for aggravated assault, women are 3 times more likely to be victim to sexual assault and kidnapping, twice as likely for simple assault, and stalking.

Load More Replies...
finfrosk avatar
Tor Rolf Strøm
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yeah, and a lot of situations that are normal for women, can be dangerous for men. Like war and work. (before anyone intentionally misunderstands me: because men are overrepresented in deaths related to war and work)

max_lombardi_mi avatar
Max L.
Community Member
5 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"None of your business but if you prefer to head to the nearest police station instead of the address you should already have, Id be ok anyway" would fix the matter immediately. Peace trough superior firepower, always works.

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It will for you.. you are a man. And you are now - again - confirming that it's almost impossible for a man to understand what the issue for most women is. A driver seeking something uninvited from a female passenger will be on edge. You do not want to push him over, because that's where the real danger may start. All you can do is dull the edge by taking away options he thinks he may have. Women always have to think about their surroundings, the consequences of conversations or information shared on a level that men do not even realize exists. You get in a cab (because this is not exclusive for Lyft/uber whatever) drunk, you get home and you forget you ever had the ride. I get in a cab drunk, I have a good chance of insinuations of what the driver thinks we should do. Or that payment in kind is acceptable. And that's a 50/50.

Load More Replies...
lieke avatar
Ellis
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you don’t like ride-sharing like Lyft or Uber just take a normal taxi. See how safe that makes you feel.

jnk45959 avatar
BitterSweetWisdom
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'm a 14 year old girl, and even I know that "white men" are also having a hard time, men are more likely to experience violence on the street. It doesn't surprise me that some people ask creepy questions but "where are you headeding" is a normal question to ask anyone, at night, in the day, doesn't matter. Both genders should be worried about their well being at night, there ar people out to get men, and people out to get women.

corinenugteren avatar
Not A Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're looking at the victims. Yes, men are more likely to experience violence. FROM OTHER MEN. Look the perpetrators. The vast majority of harm done to people is done by men.

Load More Replies...
rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with Tim and these women are turning women into victims at every single turn, while I agree with *some* points, its way overboard and I'm a woman.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Also, ladies if you feel like every situation in life affords you the opportunity to be a victim of assault, take shooting lesson, familiarize yourself with a gun and your state's gun laws and apply for a CCW. Or just complain on the internet about it.

Load More Replies...
sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I absolutely hate when men talk about sexism that women experience. Or white people talking about racism that PoC experience. Or straight people, or cis people, or able bodied people, or Christians. You are privileged. Understand and learn from your actions and what we say. Don't pretend like you would understand our experiences better than we do.

macimae654 avatar
Maci Wilcox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People can be empathetic for those who are being discriminated without having been discriminated themselves. If somebody at my school got beat up, I would sympathize for them and try to help them, even if I myself have never been beaten up. Going through a bad situation can help one understand what it's like, but you don't always have to have experience to have empathy.

Load More Replies...
mrj15 avatar
Smoofy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See how Jeff is learning and realizing how his actions affect others and then changing his actions? Lets be more like Jeff everyone.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Let's be less like Tim (although I'm sure he had good intentions) and more like Jeff

Load More Replies...
macimae654 avatar
Maci Wilcox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a 13 (almost 14) year old girl, and I really hope that things change before I grow up!

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very last reply, of Jeff McIver, about listening and taking people seriously... We really, really, REALLY need more people like him.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"At some point you'll need to be an adult, you DON'T need to play around with ridiculous explanations, lies and stay in a rideshare vehicle that you don't like." -- I would really love to unpack this statement a bit, because it probably seems reasonable to many people. (1/5)

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a woman, or anyone who presents as female, finds herself alone with a man who expresses interest in her, it is very important to begin evaluating the safest way out of the situation. Why? Because history is filled with those who did not, or who tried but failed to get away. Why not be afraid of a woman, or be afraid of every man? Many of us are! I would hesitate to get into a vehicle with a strange person of any description. But living life afraid of absolutely everyone is mentally crippling, so maybe we choose to consider the statistical likelihood (or lack thereof) of being murdered or raped by a woman, someone who is very petite or is physically frail, or by a man who is friendly and *should* be concerned by his reputation as a plumber or a cab driver or whatever. (2/5)

Load More Replies...
estherb_1 avatar
Esther B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been an Uber driver and the male creepy customers were just too much. I felt unsafe dealing with drunks, men thinking I wanted to hang out with them, pulling their d**k out, asking to hold my hand etc etc. It's not the Uber drivers. It's a certain group of gross abusive men. The End

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have that in the Netherlands. But it is actually silly that it is needed and used. Women should be able to safely use any taxi. Also as an driver. This women driving women doesn't solve the problem, it might even worsen it in the end. If we start segregating women from men we will end up more as 'mysterious strange sexy creatures, unlike men, from venus' , because they have less contact with us, and will be treated like that instead of equal human beings.

Load More Replies...
crabcrab avatar
Hans
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uber might not be that much of an advancement. Such things are much less likely in registered, GPS-tracked taxis driven by registered, certified drivers. Yes, they are more expensive. I still take them. And I am a man.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of the best advice I ever received as a woman from an FBI homicide detective: Never under any circumstances let an assailant take you to a 2nd crime scene even if the assailant is armed. Instead- run towards a public area if possible, in a zigzag pattern while screaming "fire". Don't scream "help" scream "fire." People may be afraid or reluctant to help, but many people flock to lookie loo at a fire. Carry police grade pepper spray and keep it in your hand when walking alone. Be alert and keep your head up- this alone will make you a less desirable target. Check around your car from a distance before approaching it and have your car alarm adjust to unlock ONLY the driver's door on the first click. Do NOT keep your house keys on the same ring as your car keys. If you're carjacked you haven't given them access to your home. Also, keys make excellent impromptu weapons. Go for the eyes and the nose, clutch the key in your fist and ram it up the assailant's nose with all you've got

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very important- Be willing to hurt someone who's trying to hurt you. As women particularly older women- I'm 48- we were taught to be polite, mind our manners & cooperate. Chuck that out the window and fight dirty. You're looking to injure the bastard enough to give yourself time to get to safety. Be willing to be rude- if you feel threatened demand your personal space and pepper spray the person who insists on violating it because they might be about to violate YOU. As the FBI detective told me, it's better to apologize latter than have your family have to identify what's left of you. When facing a possible attacker- continually repeat the word NO not in a pleading please don't hurt me kind of way but in a way that is firm and forceful like you are in charge of the situation. Educate yourself on the ways you can learn and are comfortable using to defend yourself. I know in my heart of hearts what I'm prepared to do - I could shoot a home intruder without batting an eyelash, but

Load More Replies...
catmarshall57 avatar
BusLady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disgusting that a man performing a service feels he has the right to speak to a woman customer that way. What gives him the clue that she wants to be picked up by some creepy Uber driver? He might be dangerous, or he might just be a dirty old man. The passenger has no way of determining that. Most women will err on the side of caution.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The civil liberties gap between men and women irritates me more every day. Particularly as most men are entirely oblivious to it.

maggieniemeyer avatar
Car Alarm
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's honestly ridiculous at this point. Men try to act like they're more discriminated against sometimes(?) and it's getting annoying. I agree that men do have some disadvantages because they're often told to act manly as if they can't have feelings. Sometimes boys are told that if they don't have a desire to have sex, then they aren't acting the way they should. Because of this information, some boys try to say that they are more oppressed than women. But guess what? When a boy has gotten raped, you know who defended him and stood up for him? Feminists. You know who laughed and said he should have enjoyed it? Other men. We need to step back and think about who is really the problem here. But yeah that's just my small rant.

Load More Replies...
cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tim missed the point completely, this whole thing infuriates me as there are men out there that do not like this behavior at all! I want women to be just as safe as me when doing things like the above mentioned. Then you get all these little sparks of women hating groups which I will not dare mention because they do not deserve any mention on any social media platform. Raised by a single mum, I was taught respect. Not just taught it, but learnt it. And seeing anything like this just, well, pisses me off to no end. How dare they do that, they should all be fired, and Tim, shut up, get off social media and get on social etiquette. I could type a lot more about the foul taste this has left in my mouth but I won't go on.

aeschlimann-nauwelaers avatar
Fien
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else wanted to kick Tim in the balls? This is about how WOMEN experience these situations, Tim. Are you a woman, Tim? Try to be more like Jeff, Tim. Hope your mom/sister/daughter is really proud of you, Tim

fernandojones avatar
Fernando Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's always fun to go back on twitter and look up the accounts for the people who are jackasses on these topics to see how they react to being called out on their c**p and he was defensive and acted like he had to walk away because the people who were calling him out on his BS were being silly. Tim is such a coward.

kouldb avatar
Kould B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The safer option is to use a taxi cab. More expensive. But generally safer. Girls can't do everything boys can. That's a myth. Always was & always will be.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Safe to say that ol’ Tim has given the whole “insult a lecherous guy at night to make him leave you alone” scenario, all of a minute’s thought.

sunflowerbrushtail avatar
Megan Pippenger
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never felt remotely safe taking an uber or lyft on my own. My boyfriend has no qualms about using it whether he is with me, or friends, or alone, but on my own? No way. I'll drink less so I can drive or make another arrangements for getting to and from somewhere, but I have never felt like taking a rideshare on my own as a woman, especially if I was going to or from my home or work, was a safe option. I know lots of men who will do it without even thinking about it, but as a woman, I just can't imagine a scenario in which I don't feel super uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst.

552fab0e35350 avatar
Mad Mar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who asks if your destination is "your home", you can just reply that your are going to your parents and they are waiting for you. Also if u have your phone in your lap like many of you might, I suggest recording video at least to get the audio of the questioning. ((If it got "iffy". And you felt unsafe.)) You can also call a friend and talk to them on the phone instead of the driver. You can tell a driver to go to a gas station or mini mart as a side stop and just get out and end your ride then call another car. ((They should let you request a woman driver (same as a doctor) if that made people feel better.)) And lastly do not take rides "off the app" to save money. The app tracks your location. And your route. Both phones. That's against the policy and you should report drivers doing that. I had taxis from train stations pull that with me and I always ask for the meter or tell them I will call their dispatch. And I have. While in the car. They usually don't work again.

tlilly avatar
Lilly
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the OP has valid points, as do the commenters. things are so different from when I was a teenager, that I don't know that I could even do the whole Uber/Lyft thing as a customer. I'm always situationally aware, but it seems like it's not worth it to put myself in that kind of position. i'm hoping that most males that ask these intrusive questions do so out of ignorance & not for nefarious reasons. but as a female, we can't just assume that it's ignorance when our safety is at stake. Tim seems to be quite the tool (cancelling the ride & leave? sure, if he stops the car); Jeff is awesome for paying attention and learning from this. Be a Jeff, not a Tim

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What worked for me is asking the same question back. They don't like 'smart' women. Just play the parrot game. 'Do you have a boyfriend?'. "No, do you have a boyfriend?'. 'So, you live alone?'. 'Yes, well no, I have cat, and 7 pet rats and they are really interesting creatures, did you know 97 procent of pet rats die of cancer? That is due to..(insert really monotone long boring story about pet rats).. isn't that awesome that the first pet rat known to humankind ever named Mylo could do that? And you? Do you live with your mother or something?'. Use the situation to finally use the best of your acting skills to be as boring as possible in a friendly way ánd always deflect the question, preferably in a weird way. If he answers that he does not live with his mother but alone; ask 'Why? Don't you like your mother or are there a lot of pizza places where you live?'. This really confuses them. And annoy's them. But they don't know why. Since you are being nice. So they leave you alone.

lizmolloy1969 avatar
Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If ANY driver makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, call the office and lodge a complaint. He may not even realise he's had this effect on you.

rosebona avatar
athornedrose
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i always breathe a huge sigh of relief to see that my lyft driver is a women. the last one i drove with was such a kind, understanding soul.

zselyke_szekely avatar
Nomadus Aureus
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to me not on Uber, but while using a ride-sharing service for a cross-continent drive. Long story short, it's damn near impossible to fly your dog into the UK unless you happen to be a millionaire. I managed to stay up for the first half of a 3 day drive, but then just fell asleep. When I woke up, the driver was staring at me with a huge grin on his face, then started talking about how it feels like we're a married couple, asked if I know how to cook, iron a shirt and whether I like kids. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. Being locked into a car, going 140 Km/h, thousands of kilometers away both from back home AND my place in Britain.... I've spent the rest of the trip on snapchat and checking we're still on the pre-agreed route...

earloflincoln avatar
Martha Meyer
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Load More Replies...
wolfpuppet avatar
Bored Fox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reading this makes me happy that where I live the bus is very cheap, safe and good way to move everywhere so no one needs to take a taxi. Where I live it is usually just disabled and old people who use taxi because they usually can't walk to the nearest bus stop.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Admittedly, for personal reasons I pretty much drive everywhere so I have zero experience with ride share services. But I've always seen Uber/Lyft as a form of legalized hitchhiking that you pay for. Those of us who remember the 70's and early 80's (although I was a kid then) heard over and over not to hitchhike as it was a good way to get raped or murdered. There were scary films shown to us in grade school of the police notifying parents of their daughter's death by hitchhiking. To this day I have a "no strangers in the car" rule.

dstireman avatar
Denice Smith
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I don't want to have a conversation, I say "I don't hear well and I cannot (or will not) hear anything they are saying."

heidimatsumoto avatar
Heidi Matsumoto
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had horrible experiences regarding uber and the like... One time, I got so uncomfortable because the driver kept asking me about boyfriends and sex and he even talked about how he had sex with some woman before. Very uncomfortable! So in the middle of his narration, I pretended to answer a call and whispered "No, I'm still looking for a victim today but I guess I'm not hungry for blood at all..for now... *giggles... don't worry, we can share when I find one. OK bye!" LOL The driver's face immediately changed into a terrified one and I chose the right timing to ask him with my creepy but smiling face "Where are we going again?" Hahah the look on his face was priceless and I wanted to laugh but I had to keep acting!!! Just so you're wondering about what I did... I pretended/ talked like a ghoul (in our country, we call them "aswang"). If ever he reported me to the police, the latter won't believe him! With the modern life that we have now, most people don't believe in ghouls anymore but there are still some who do! I was amused that he believed in my acting!

colettedionne avatar
UnicornHuman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*he's very good with a gun* I'm going to use that the next time a driver asks me if I have a bf

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, here's a good reason (maybe) why we need ride shares just for women and children. I'm not sure it would be any safer, but maybe as an option. Does complaining to Uber or Lyft do any good in these circumstances? Maybe record the conversation if it's sketchy as proof? I don't use either service but have used cabs and not had these problems. That being said, I'm an older woman and usually had an adult handicapped person with me so...

kevinyu avatar
Kevin Yu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get a machete and hold it in a very obvious spot while trying to "conceal'" it. No one will mess with you

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman, I think that in any rideshare situation the driver's job is to get your location and take you there. If the driver wants to ask questions, they should be appropriate and not personal questions. I am a delivery driver and sometimes I will ask people questions at their door. The questions are usually:"are you having a good evening?", "do you need cheese and pepper packets with your order?". For an Uber/Lyft driver the questions should pertain to the address and if they have heavy bags asking if they need help, questions about who they live with and whose house it is is crossing the line.

sivanbouchami avatar
Sivan Bouchami
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much recognition, while we even don't live in the same country probably. I stopped using taxi's years ago and always drive at night (nightshifts that end around 5 ó clock at night) on my sturdy Dutch bike for an hour. A lot of people tell me that it is not safe to cycle home as a girl at night and I should get a cab. But for me it feels safer. 90 procent of the time (not kidding) I used a cab I always got these kind of conversations. When I try to tell people this they say 'the taxi-driver is just making an innocent conversation'. If that is true; why does it always ending up with him asking if I have a boyfriend? We could discuss the weather, the traffic, my hobby's, there are a million topics to talk about in an innocent conversation. Why always if I have a boyfriend and if I live alone?

cverrilli avatar
Dr. Carlos Dangercat
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a 35 year old woman, I think it's a little bit in the middle. I do think there are certain situations where women are afraid but men don't feel the same vulnerability. For example, I am always very careful to hide my room number from other people at check in if I'm staying alone. That being said, some of these situations seem like ones that everyone encounters and needs to learn to navigate as an adult.

samantha_greenaway93 avatar
Samantha Greenaway
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is scarily true to the point we are scared of people playing pranks, i used to do pizza delivery and broke a guys nose who thought it was funny to sneak into my car while i was at the door getting the money off his friend

curtis_morgan69 avatar
furrybumkins
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DRIVEHER.CA this is a ride-share for women only. Currently this is in Toronto but I hope this idea spreads to other cities as well. Women should never feel unsafe riding alone.

danielle_5678 avatar
Danielle Holder
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just working jobs that require you to do house calls/deliveries alone, it's also needing a house call/delivery (usually a male) alone.

twostroketerror avatar
Pungent Sauce
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why on earth do these folks keep patronizing Uber/Lyft? I’ve heard enough 2nd hand horror stories that I wouldnt give them a dime, ever. There’s 4 licensed taxi services in my town, and I’ve never heard a complaint about any of them. It’s called being a professional driver, which is to be polite and mind your own damn business.

acswonderwoman avatar
Amy Smith
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner (also female) and I got into a cab the other day and my partner (the chatty one) started talking to the driver about Christmas, her son, how the drivers shift was going, that sort of banal politeness. I was in the back and wasn't really listening. I noticed that the driver was really chatty until she mentioned that we were in a relationship, at which point the driver clammed up and outwardly refused to say anything else to us. He had gone from friendly and accommodating to silent as soon as she mentioned that. She looked back at me, I shrugged and resumed staring out of the window. I understand people have their own views but that was as unnecessary as the time a driver came to our door, refused to take us as soon as he saw we were together and still tried to charge us the fare. If I'm alone, I avoid the personal life question. Feels safer that way.

aannemartens avatar
Audrey Martens
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once when I was on an Uber, the driver (white, male, jock) asked if I was a virgin. Why would you ask me that?? "I thought you were hot" So just because you thought I was hot makes it okay to ask a question about something so sacred to my body? "I dunno (really stupid look on his face). Where you heading?" I want to leave, now. I jumped out of the car and canceled the ride. I know many of you will just look at this story without batting an eye, and I know that many others have had way worse stories than me, but this is one of mine.

rageracer avatar
Rage Racer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

CHL is the great equalizer. Never be a victim. Learn to responsibly use a firearm and it will be the most comforting thing you carry on a daily basis. My wife carries and my Daughter will.

kouldb avatar
Kould B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a safer solution. Use registered taxi cabs. More expensive. But you're safer. I don't know why women take the risk tbh. Because that story they keep telling you about how girls can do anything boys can. It's a blatant lie. The world just doesn't work that way.

shazrint avatar
Tiara Shaz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

uber is doing great. no prob here. but after grab takes over it... worst. i never open my mouth and when they ask 'where r we going?' i simply answer 'u can see it on the req.' there, the conversation is dead.

lovetheliz avatar
Liz Karsa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as i get in the Uber I put my headphones in....many times without music playing...and tell the driver if they are trying to talk to me that i am listening to some work notes. Works every time.

erinsheppard avatar
Erin Sheppard
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I am a woman and I agree with Tim Shanks- seriously ladies. Make a call, stop the ride, whatever it takes to BE SAFE. So you'd rather feel unsafe for an uncertain amount of time then p**s someone off or hurt their feelings? Then UNSAFE is NOT the feeling you have... uneasy, maybe, but UNSAFE, please. Ride shares require bg checks and all that jazz and while, yes, there are some weirdos out there... you akll are getting out of hand. "I lie about my sexuality to stay safe" PULEASE - How about I am going home, I might or might not live alone, your questions are making me uncomfortable - do know that I am armed at all times and will not hesitate to protect myself or my children. SO you're scared. Guess what , we all get scared sometime, THIS is the time to S**T or get off the pot!

archie_on_the_net avatar
Vincent Philippart
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another downside of the Uber economy. Uber drivers are not professionnals. They don't get the rights and protection workers get, and they also don't get the training and supervision of actual taxi drivers. Don't be socially irresponsible, don't ride Uber.

r3dd3v1ll avatar
r3dd3v1lL
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Okay first off- why not just use a real taxi/ cab? After all uber is banned in several countries and is operating on the edge of law in others. Secondly @Wendy Qualls- what about police women, women in the army, miners, oil rig workers, sailors etc. Are their jobs as dangerous as delivering pizza or repairing a boiler?

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Talk about being scared of your shadow - just stay home with your cats (but not that one calico cat - it's looking at you funny - best write some "we women are all f****d" web article about it).

rbmail avatar
Zebwe
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Maybe use a f*ing taxi because they are licensed and strictly monitored professionals instead of just some random guys.

mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
sharronlparsons avatar
sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I had no idea women had to deal with such a horrific problem, I live in a small city, consider taking a self defense class !!!

nickcox avatar
Nick Cox
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I kinda agree with Tim, The world is a lot more dangerous for men (see violence, assault, robbery, homelessness, work accidents, suicide, healthcare and murder). So men do understand as what it means to face fear in their everyday lives from other men and women as well. I think the best thing to do is learn to cut to the point " you do or say xxx...it makes me feel xxx and I will call the police or leave if you continue ect.." Or start proactively acting out, get out and request a new uber, give them 0 stars. Call the police... but being passive aggressive and quiet will only make you open to more of this behavior or leave your attacker thinking its ok to carry on in that fashion... The point is see something and say something or act on your best interest. I get that you are scared but don’t sit in silence and complain later. Make your actions felt

jnk45959 avatar
BitterSweetWisdom
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Same, i dont understand why you are getting downvoted when it is a factual statement to say that men are victims of violence as well as women, sometimes even more.

Load More Replies...
brooke-pomsan avatar
Brooke
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yeah..I find the first woman, I guess the writer, desperately wanting to be seen as "woke". I disagree with her assertion that telling your uber driver you're at your boyfriends house is effective because of heteronormative standards or the patriarchy. It's simply because a man is usually psychically stronger and more likely to impede a prospective assailant. Also, why does she feel the need to say that WOC are more likely to be assaulted?That may be statistically true, it just seems extraneous and forcefully wedged in to her statement in order to pander to the Twitter community. I find people like this really disingenuous and grading.

glendabagrowski avatar
Chicago Kitty
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree Brooke, although it is true that there are situations where we as women are more vulnerable, the post begins to read like an invitation to a pity party. As a survivor (note: not victim) of sexual abuse by a family member as a preteen/teen and sexual assault by a stranger in my 20's I know what it is to be afraid of being assaulted again. But at some one decides to proactively protect oneself and take responsibility for your own safety. I care police grade pepper spray on both my key ring (so it's in my pocket) and in my handbag, I have a third larger canister in my car. When I'm walking to and from my car I have my self-defense key fob in my hand. When alone in an area I stay out of arms reach of strangers both male and female. If you've watched much true crime on TV you may notice that the worst predators often have female accomplices in order to lure other women into a sense of safety. I remain alert (perhaps even hyper-vigilant) of my surroundings.

Load More Replies...
ericcox avatar
Eric Cox
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Men = 80% of assault victims. Sorry you feel unsafe but in reality being a man even a white man isn't a magical pass for avoiding violence.

sdavisallmond avatar
Sussanne Davis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

statistically while men have higher risk for aggravated assault, women are 3 times more likely to be victim to sexual assault and kidnapping, twice as likely for simple assault, and stalking.

Load More Replies...
finfrosk avatar
Tor Rolf Strøm
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yeah, and a lot of situations that are normal for women, can be dangerous for men. Like war and work. (before anyone intentionally misunderstands me: because men are overrepresented in deaths related to war and work)

max_lombardi_mi avatar
Max L.
Community Member
5 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"None of your business but if you prefer to head to the nearest police station instead of the address you should already have, Id be ok anyway" would fix the matter immediately. Peace trough superior firepower, always works.

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It will for you.. you are a man. And you are now - again - confirming that it's almost impossible for a man to understand what the issue for most women is. A driver seeking something uninvited from a female passenger will be on edge. You do not want to push him over, because that's where the real danger may start. All you can do is dull the edge by taking away options he thinks he may have. Women always have to think about their surroundings, the consequences of conversations or information shared on a level that men do not even realize exists. You get in a cab (because this is not exclusive for Lyft/uber whatever) drunk, you get home and you forget you ever had the ride. I get in a cab drunk, I have a good chance of insinuations of what the driver thinks we should do. Or that payment in kind is acceptable. And that's a 50/50.

Load More Replies...
lieke avatar
Ellis
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you don’t like ride-sharing like Lyft or Uber just take a normal taxi. See how safe that makes you feel.

jnk45959 avatar
BitterSweetWisdom
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'm a 14 year old girl, and even I know that "white men" are also having a hard time, men are more likely to experience violence on the street. It doesn't surprise me that some people ask creepy questions but "where are you headeding" is a normal question to ask anyone, at night, in the day, doesn't matter. Both genders should be worried about their well being at night, there ar people out to get men, and people out to get women.

corinenugteren avatar
Not A Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're looking at the victims. Yes, men are more likely to experience violence. FROM OTHER MEN. Look the perpetrators. The vast majority of harm done to people is done by men.

Load More Replies...
rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with Tim and these women are turning women into victims at every single turn, while I agree with *some* points, its way overboard and I'm a woman.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Also, ladies if you feel like every situation in life affords you the opportunity to be a victim of assault, take shooting lesson, familiarize yourself with a gun and your state's gun laws and apply for a CCW. Or just complain on the internet about it.

Load More Replies...
sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I absolutely hate when men talk about sexism that women experience. Or white people talking about racism that PoC experience. Or straight people, or cis people, or able bodied people, or Christians. You are privileged. Understand and learn from your actions and what we say. Don't pretend like you would understand our experiences better than we do.

macimae654 avatar
Maci Wilcox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People can be empathetic for those who are being discriminated without having been discriminated themselves. If somebody at my school got beat up, I would sympathize for them and try to help them, even if I myself have never been beaten up. Going through a bad situation can help one understand what it's like, but you don't always have to have experience to have empathy.

Load More Replies...
Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda