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There’s hidden depths to every person. There’s a reason why the “never judge a book by its cover” saying is a thing. Same goes for guys.

Sure, some fellas may be nose-picking, public-transport-burping, people-disrespecting weirdos, but that’s not really exclusive to guys, is it now?

In this post, men went out of their way to share and discuss the more sensitive things about their lives and experiences with the internet.

From funny urinal etiquette to the downright sad lack of compliments, here’s some men with no hang-ups about saying how it really is.

More info: Reddit

#1

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Well, every Tuesday night we have a secret meeting where we decide how to best maintain the patriarchy, other than that, not much.

laconicflow , Helena Lopes Report

#2

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Some of these come up pretty frequently, but it's still helpful for women to be aware of them I guess. Here's a non-exhaustive list (on mobile so sorry if i screw up the formatting) :

When I say I'm thinking about "nothing", I'm serious. My brain was off, it's just static up there or random scenes from movies.

Most of us are acutely aware of how scared women are of men, and we all do our best to minimize that fear for you. My run yesterday around the loop in my park? Gotta be going the opposite direction as the women who were rollerblading so they can see me coming the whole way, don't make eye contact so I don't come off as creepy, etc.

I actually like interacting with kids. They're insane and goofy, say crazy things, and are fun to interact with. No, I'm not a p**o, I'm just treating them like the tiny humans they are and they deserve attention.

Fruity drinks taste awesome and I want to order them. Those little umbrellas and cool straws are the s**t.

Yes, we are all mentally 16 and will giggle about any number of stupid things.

Compliments live rent free in our heads forever. My favorite shirt is my favorite because a cute girl told me she loved the color and it looks good on me...4 years ago.

Saying "she's cute" does NOT mean I am actively trying to get with her, it's just an observation.

We like specifics. "The trash is full" is an observation, and we will agree with you. Our brain did not hear "please take out the trash" like you intended us to.

My last point can be changed with thorough training and a lot of patience and clarifying expectations.

Dear God, just tell us where you want to eat or what you want as a Christmas present. Most of us suck at those guessing games, even if we really try, and we just want to get you what is actually going to make you happy.

DM_Me_Your_Sexy_Side , Phil S Report

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unknown
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The trash bit is annoying. You shouldn't need to have it pointed out and specifically told to do something. Just do it when it's needed

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#3

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Not a dude, but I have a husband. I feel like the best thing he needs when he comes home is a big a*s hug. Doesn't matter if it was a rough day or long day or neither. He needs a hug. I like cooking dinner for my husband so something warm or comforting is waiting for him too. Even if it's left overs. He loves his back scratched, so I'll do that for him or scratch his head. We will sit in silence sometimes while he scrolls on his phone to decompress, than we chat and we put on the TV or go for a walk. I feel like it's the simple things that matter a lot to him. I was very intent on knowing who my husband was and what he wanted when we were dating. I try to encompass those things naturally. I will tell him I love him randomly. I tell him he looks good when he goes to work and when he is just lounging. It melts his heart and I can tell.

Its a lot of fun living with a man and seeing the natural differences that are their norms. Breaks my heart when I see perfectly good men treated like garbage. I mean if he is trash, it's different but most people are just trying their best and I think the small things I do for my husband mean a lot to him.

pinkdragonlily , Rendy Novantino Report

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Although hearing how men try to avoid choosing the middle urinal if the surrounding ones are occupied may be a funny surprise or super relatable, other guy “secrets” aren’t nearly as funny. 

They may be written with a comedic tone, but their true message isn’t humorous in the least. 

Some examples of this are how men treasure their one decade-old compliment or how they have to fake their confidence and hide significant insecurities. 

These comments, while being veiled as jokes, are indicative of something much more serious. It’s a sign that there are, as there have always been, certain toxic misconceptions about men and how they should be treated - even between men themselves!

#4

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group LEGO Isn't just for kids

nonyabidnuss , Xavi Cabrera Report

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Madre_Dr4gnZFly
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's a "woman secret"....some of us like Legos, too. I have 4 HUGE totes(the ones that look like a storage chest) FULL and that's not including my builds in progress.

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#5

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We really have no control over what we do in your dreams.

dirtymoney , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#6

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We're kinda like dogs. Things in front of me get attention, if I don't burn enough energy I get zoomies, my behavior piques when I am offered food, use brief and explicit instructions or I will look at you funny trying to figure what you really want, and I love naps on the couch

MrDrTrey , thevibrantmachine Report

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Apatheist Account2
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before you ask...this does not include licking parts of oneself that should not be licked by oneself (normally).

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To help us unravel this issue, Bored Panda reached out to Mac Scotty McGregor, Founder and President of Positive Masculinity, regularly striving to empower people to examine how they were conditioned by certain gender expectations. He believes that we, as conscious adults, can understand which of those beliefs are no longer serving us and how they can be replaced with healthier options. 

Currently Mac educates and trains corporations and large groups on diversity and sensitivity. He’s a dedicated activist and educator whose main focus is to help create a world where people can feel free to be themselves.

#7

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group You'll find communicating with guys is a lot easier if you just are direct and open about what you want.

GandalfTheJaded , Helena Lopes Report

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JB
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally open to this so long as “no, I’m not interested” doesn’t result in insults or threats of bodily harm.

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#8

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We NEVER know when you like us.
I'm 48. Looking back. I f****d up so much

goodcreditbadcredit , Spora Weddings Report

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Depressed Owl
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I either am clueless if someone likes me, or make everything they do seem like there dropping hints that they like me.

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#9

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the 10 o’clock news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me, I just remembered to breathe.

Gudakesa , Andrea Piacquadio Report

According to Mac there certainly are some “hidden” things that men deal with on a regular basis. 

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A big one is that the world we are in teaches young and older men alike that they must always be strong, independent, self-sufficient, and in control. 

“That includes being in control of our emotions. There are only three emotions that are acceptable for men to show, and those are: assertiveness, anger, or high-fiving our buddies when our team wins.”

Middle-aged men have the biggest rate for ending their own lives prematurely and Mac believes that this traditional masculine model and messaging is part of the bigger cause.

Guys have to deal with other guys policing them and limiting how they should express themselves by ridiculing others that don’t fit into the old model.

#10

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Please for the love of god let us know if you’re into us. Don’t wait for us to tell you first because we won’t because we don’t want to be called creeps.

Wunderbolts , Alexis Brown Report

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Michelle C
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is also precisely why women are afraid to let on about their feelings occasionally. If we do let on how we feel about someone, sometimes we’re told we should let men lead, and we’re emasculating them. If we don’t let on, we’re told we’re being frigid or making too much of the situation. Honest and respectful communication benefits everyone involved, in my experience!

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#11

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Dudes can be friends for years and not know each others real name

theonetrueemanu , Helena Lopes Report

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David H
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

true. I have friends for years, that they told me their name years ago once, I forgot and never asked again. In my freshman year of college, there was a guy who we were close friends, I didn't even know his name for months. You just have your bros, names are optional

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#12

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group No. I'm not going to the gym to hit on "b*****s" or get into shape to be attractive to other women.

I'm just tired of almost passing out every time I bend over to tie my shoes.

ku_chi_mun_chin , William Choquette Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I see someone improving their looks or health, I always assume that they’re doing it for themselves first instead of for others

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Since we are still in the middle of a huge change, there are “so many things” that could be improved in our society, Mac says.

The epidemic of loneliness and the lack of depth in male friendships because of it being “weak” to talk about feelings and what’s happening with us is one. 

Another thing is that lots of men still don’t get mental or physical help or check-ups as, again, if something is wrong it’s a sign of weakness. 

“Between the masculine messaging and the capitalist mentality in our Western culture, most also carry the message that we are playing a lifelong game of 'king of the hill'.”

In other words, we’re always competing with each other, instead of collaborating more. Mac says we could achieve much more if we collaborated and didn’t worry about sharing credit as much.

#13

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We like compliments. If you compliment a guy he might remember it for years.

… and then he might think you’re into him because we never receive compliments but that is an entirely new issue

DoublePelix , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#14

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group If you let me lie in your lap and you run your fingers through my hair and stroke my face, I’ll say “yes” to whatever you propose

oronder , Becca Tapert Report

#15

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group The day before a very close girl (friend) of mine gave me a flower.

I can barely explain how amazing that made me feel. I almost cried.

Needless to say that memeory has a golden spot in my brain.

just remember girls that we are humans as well, and EVERY, i mean it EVERY man seeks this feeling.

kpalan , Alvan Nee Report

#16

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group I like being childish and if I trust you enough I will be childish around you.
I always forget things but I really try to remember them.
We have days where we want to be left alone with peace and quiet

OkraFit3987 , Donovan Grabowski Report

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Michelle C
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This applies to women as well. We are absolutely into men with a sense of humor and levity!

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“I also think that in intimate relationships men want to have more depth but they are at a loss for where to begin and how to navigate that.”

The messaging of never showing vulnerability has become so ingrained in us, yet we must embrace vulnerability to get most of the things we want. Falling in love requires vulnerability, putting ourselves in the line in front of others to achieve things requires vulnerability too. 

We could fail, be embarrassed or even hurt deeply, but we are taught that we should hide all of this - never talk about it, pretend we don’t fear, regret, and grieve. 

All of this and more hinders men from being fully human, embodied and present in relationships, limiting us in ways some may never understand, which leaves them with an empty feeling.

“We need to reframe this toxic messaging. Embracing vulnerability is the way of the warrior, as is the ability to admit mistakes and be accountable for our actions in order to grow and evolve,” Mac Scotty McGregor finishes.

#17

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group When you ask us a question, often times we'll quickly respond with "huh?".

It's not that we didn't hear you, cause we did. We're just buffering to give you an adequate answer.

javawong , The Jopwell Collection Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually respond like that because I have a hard time paying attention so I have to double check to see if I heard a question correctly

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#18

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Sometimes, that male confidence that you find attractive is us totally faking it while shaking on the inside, insecure AF.

Ok_Technology390 , Andrew Wise Report

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Michael Largey
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's true of every type of confidence. And real confidence is not knowing that things will go your way. It's knowing you'll be ok even if they don't.

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#19

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group If it looks like im ignoring you im probably just so deep in thought that i forgot i actually exist

Emiliootjee , Nathan Cowley Report

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Lotekguy
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or trying to remember some sports statistic that's more important to me in the moment than most would think it should be.

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#20

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We're not necessarily watching p**n when we're in the bathroom for an hour. We may just be on Reddit and lose track of the time.

KingOfTheLifeNewbs , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Madre_Dr4gnZFly
Community Member
10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 2 adult sons. My youngest has been known to sit on the "throne" for AGES reading a book. The first time it was "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", most recently it was "Lord of the Rings".

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#21

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Those memes that are like

Women: I wonder what he's thinking about

Man: *dumbest s**t ever to be thought about*

Are far more true than you think BUT it could also be the complete opposite, they could be thinking the deepest most philisophical s**t ever too.

Either way their answer will be "nothing"

SpicccyAllt , @invadingkingdom Report

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Mrs Irish Mom
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Asked my Husband what he was thinking about because he was staring off into space... he said the groomer didnt shave around the dogs balls great... never asking that question again 🙈

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#22

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group When you explain or rant my brain is telling me how to fix it....

And yes I'm listening but this is how you fix that problem.

Edit: well, I've dunnit, alot of men are helping me with my problem too, and women aren't too happy about how I didn't really listen.

Outrageous-Broccoli8 , Yura Timoshenko Report

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Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sometimes need to vent. I sometimes need advice and for people to agree the person I'm talking about is a b***h. None of my family get it.

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#23

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We have an entire language around the headnod

baka2k10 , chelsea fern Report

#24

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We pick the urinal we pee in carefully.

tambalul123 , Markus Spiske Report

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Depressed Owl
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's an unspoken rule to not use the urinal next to someone. Especially if there are no dividers.

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#25

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We forgot how to cry at some point early in our lives.

NerfAkaliFfs , Alex Green Report

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setsuriseikou
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry for every one of you who did. Crying is natural, cathartic and good for the soul. So let's go visit those patriarchy-maintaining dudes, and make them cry

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#26

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group When girls come over to a guys place. The guy is usually cleaning up his place like the Tasmanian Devil 1-2hrs before she comes over.

Cr1m1nal_Int3nt , RDNE Stock project Report

#27

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We fear we are loved for our value and not for who we are.

Vast_Chipmunk9210 , Matheus Ferrero Report

#28

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we dont want you to worry also… now there’s just two people worrying, where as before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much

Mundane_Tour_3215 , Nik Shuliahin 💛💙 Report

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't do this. First, people in general would much rather worry with you than be blindsided by bad news. Second, we will wonder what else you're keeping from us, why you're 'protecting us' as if we're children...and whether we can continue to trust you.

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#29

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group Having the feeling everybody hates me. Or is it just me?

J765N , Jakob Owens Report

#30

Men Suspect Women Don’t Know These 30 Things About Them, So They Shared Them In This Online Group “He didn’t scratch his nose. He was smelling his finger.” - Revelations 17:38

dbowe67 , Andrik Langfield Report