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Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, high salaries and breezing by on ‘easy mode’ when you’re a man. No matter your gender, life is challenging. Your purpose isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. And happiness isn’t a guarantee if you don’t strive to move toward it. And there are a lot of things that guys would love everyone to know about what it’s actually like to be a man. Though, sometimes, we’re far too shy to say them out loud.

However, anonymity helps. Internet users have taken to Reddit to share the most annoying things about being a guy, after being prompted to open up their hearts by user u/justjuiced22. The answers, which you’ll find below, are candid and range from the silly-yet-relatable to the more serious. Have a read through the posts as you scroll down and upvote the ones that you agree with or that you were surprised by.

Do you have some thoughts on your mind that you’d like to share with the other readers? That’s what the comment section is there for, Pandas. So don’t be shy, share your own insights about the viral Reddit thread and what these men’s answers say about society, below.

I reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly for a few comments about masculinity, confidence, and men's issues. Here's what he had to say. "I’d say biggest issues that men have to deal with nowadays revolve around their inputs. Social media, TV, music, etc. Most people have inputs that constantly spout negativity and victim mentality. These inputs ultimately dictate their thoughts and as a result of their actions," he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for the full interview with Jack.

#1

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) When I'm out alone with my toddler a lot of women look at me as if I'm an anomaly and a lot of guys look at me as if I'm being forced to do this. Like the "oof sorry bro" face.

It's weird that being a good dad is apparently such a rare thing that when I'm fully in charge of my son people assume there's something wrong with me and my partners relationship. I just like spending time with my son and pushing a stroller doesn't make me less of a man.

thicchaggisboi , Mohamed Awwam Report

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Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes you more than a man. Being a guy makes you man, spending time with your son makes you a dad. So now you are both a man and a dad.

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According to fitness expert Jack, the biggest issue for men is not having a purpose in life. That, in turn, affects all areas of a person's life. " I believe the core of being a good man is in true purpose. Men without purpose tend to be unhappy, depressed, lost," Jack shared his thoughts with Bored Panda.

"Figure out your purpose by getting clear on your values and what’s most important to you. As far as activities go, I’m always an advocate of pursuing good health as that is our foundation for our mind, energy, and mood."

Jack added that he believes there "absolutely" is "a crisis for confidence among men." In his view, the reasons for this are obvious. "Most men have no reason to be confident. 73% are overweight, 80% are in debt, 50% are divorced. The best thing men can do to overcome this is to commit to the journey of self-development and finding their purpose," he said.

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The expert advocates pursuing excellence in health, wealth, and relationships. "When you do this, you provide yourself true reasons to build confidence."

#2

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Male eating disorders get zero attention.

JadedTrekkie , Samuel Ramos Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bless Andrew Flintoff for speaking up about his bulimia struggles. We need more and we need it yesterday, too many males have been lost to this and it really sucks. You can't find help for your friend because he's male and it's so stupid. This was in the mid-2000s but it's no better today. Everyone can have eating disorders its not just women, and we all deserve support for it

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#3

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Getting very few/no compliments from my SO. I want to be told nice things about myself too.

Aneides , Jakob Owens Report

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Elin Noller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this depends a lot on the person you are with. Most women I know like giving compliments to ppl they love.

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The thread links to the broader discussion of what guys and ‘real men’ should and shouldn’t do, what behaviors are frowned upon by society, and understanding of masculinity leads to a healthy, happy lifestyle.

A short while ago, I spoke about men’s issues and masculinity with redditor M_RONA who gave some great in-depth insights on the topic.

"I think, as men, we need to be more open about our issues and acknowledge the fact that we face some tough [stuff], often imposed on us by other guys. There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what’s bothering us, and I think just being able to talk about some of the issues we face would be a major contributing factor to our general well-being. Something as simple as just asking our friends how they’re doing in life could go a long way!" he told Bored Panda in an honest and open interview.

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#4

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Dealing with other men. The number of testosterone poisoned, porcelain figurine fragile ego having bastards seems endless.

The_Unreal , John Arano Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, we women understand. That is really hard to deal with. I just avoid those testostercronies.

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#5

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) The assumption that because I am the father that I don't know, or am incapable of taking care of my kids. People ask my wife all the time if she needs to rush home when she leaves the kids with me. I am not a babysitter, I know what I am doing.

dyeson , Steven Van Loy Report

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Brendan Roberts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this is a big one. I gave my number (as the main contact) to my eldest's school and my youngest's childminder, as I work from home and live 5 mins away from both. But they always call my wife first. She works about 30 mins away from the school and childminder.

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#6

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Not being able to talk about our emotions. Like hello, hi, I am a human being who would like to talk about their problems without the feeling of being judged.

Agent527 , Nik Shuliahin Report

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is terrible. We are a social species and need emotional support. Hugs

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According to M_RONA, one thing that’s happening in modern times is that the term ‘toxic masculinity’ gets taken way out of context, gets used where it shouldn’t, and sometimes misrepresents reality.

"While I absolutely agree that there are many male traits taken to the extreme that have horrible consequences for the people around them, I think the term is sadly being overused to mislabel normal and perfectly healthy male behavior," he explained.

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The interviewee noted that it’s often other men who pressure guys into conforming and acting a certain way. This, in turn, can make it very hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable when they need to be.

#7

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) This might seem petty or dumb, but right now, my fiancée and I are planning our wedding (She's female, I'm Male, we're a hetero couple).

I'm SUPER into the planning. I'm not at all a typical "macho" "cant be bothered with the frills and pomps" type of dude. I'm having fun helping putting together this day for my best friend and I!

Everytime we meet with a vendor they solely talk to her and ignore me entirely, acting on an assumption that she's a typical "Bridezilla" planning this day single handedly and I'm just some Bro she's shacking up with. When I do pitch in, the vendors almost act in an "ooooook, dont worry big guy, leave this to the adults" kind of way. It's more obvious in some than it is in others, but its damn infuriating. It's extremely frustrating and belittling. My fiancée is aware of it, and sticks up for me when necessary.

Like snap dude, you're damn straight I've got an opinion on the aesthetic of our f@#$ing orchid placement, take me seriously!

bucketbiz9429 , Jeremy Wong Weddings Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you're in a large enough city to find different vendors. If vendors don't respect your opinion, they obviously don't want your money. Take it to someone without the outdated gender norms.

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#8

Being physically and mentally abused usually means a lot less to people than if it were a girl who were the victim. If the girl's the abuser and you're the victim almost no one will care at all and will almost always shame you for it. And when you try to defend yourself against a female, you're looked at like the monster

Constant_Alternative Report

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Penny Fan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bro is a copper and one of has "regulars" was a body builder who was being beaten by his mrs. He was over 6' and built like a brick shithouse, she was 5'2" and 7 stone sopping wet. Whenever the cops arrived she'd pretend like she was the one being beaten and it never went any further. One day he just said to my bro "mate, look at me. If I hit her she'd be dead". Bro tried really hard to go for a conviction for her, but the CPS wouldn't touch it.

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#9

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Not being socially acceptable to carry a purse.

Like yeah, I'd love to always have my earbuds, phone charger, deodorant, small cologne sampler, and be able to store my keys, wallet, and phone without either stabbing my legs with keys when the pants are tight or having my phone slip out when I'm getting out of cars with loose fitting pants. I can think of so many things I'd bring in my man purse...

x_Pyro Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most Russian men carry a small purse/ document bag because of all the documents/ masks/ chargers etc you must carry. No one thinks it is odd.

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“A lot of guys were talking about how, as a man, they found it extremely difficult to talk and be open about their feelings. I think that stems from this notion that men are supposed to be so hardened and stoic that we never let things get to us, and if we ever experience a negative emotion, we shouldn’t process it, we should just bottle it up and 'be a man.'"

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According to M_RONA, having a stoic attitude and a hardened mind are “certainly virtuous values” that help in life. But if these values are taken to the extreme and repress any and all emotions, the end result can be very harmful.

“The basic attitude of 'men should do this, and women should do that' is hampering to both men and women, I think, something both sexes are guilty of doing, unfortunately," M_RONA shared with Bored Panda.

"I think we all face issues of conformity and set expectations for what we’re supposed to do, and I guess it’s up to all of us to promote and cheer on people who don’t fit into certain categories that we make for ourselves.”

#10

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Honestly, I think the most annoying thing is the competitiveness of other males. Especially when it comes to women. I’ve been out with gfs and some dude will come up and blatantly start hitting on her. We’d make it apparent that we’re together and then the ridicule starts. “You’re with this guy?” “I bet he really sucks at ____.” “I could be better than him.” That alpha male s**t bugs the hell out of me.

DoorNo_5 , Marvin Meyer Report

#11

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) I'm 20, have no facial hair, very little muscle mass (barely started working out this year), almost no stamina, kissless, virgin, got slapped at a party recently (by some drunk dude), and I collect action figures (I'm still working on not being too ashamed of this one).

I feel like a total loser sometimes. Like I'm not a real man. It hurts, but at the same time I don't want to try to put on a fake man mask or anything. I guess I'm just too young to figure these things out.

FerminFermin115 Report

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David Evans
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Muscles don't matter, you get to choose when and who you want to share your affection with, and you don't need anyone to tell you that you are awesome, you are! I've been in the Army for 21 years and I've met the biggest douchebags who were muscular egotists (I used to be one of them), people of a slimmer frame, and heavy set people and society focuses on physical attributes over what's most important; your character and how you treat people. As for collectables, I'm 41 and still like them. The times of people being looked at as weird for enjoying pop culture are fading. Those who judge people on their own personal hobbies do not know what they are missing. One of the things that took me almost 20 years to realize is that you have to love yourself first and appreciate the things you love without caring what others think. Do not try to be something you are not just to fit in societie's mold of what you think a man should be. Look for people with common interests and you'll find that there are entire communities of people that love what you love. If you want to get in shape, that's great for health but don't let those attributes define you. Best of luck!

sheila_stamey avatar
Sheila Stamey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What donkey put this pic? First line says "no facial hair" and a classic ugly and needless shamepic goes up. Not cool Boredpanda! Son, don't worry, you are awesome! Your "real manhood" shines in the next to last line last line. You don't want to be a fake. If you lived here although you are very young and that's about all you might have to wade through, I know several young ladies if that's your flavor, and even a couple of young gentlemen who would adore a date. But, I would advise a visit with your Dr. Get an all over physical. I'm not concerned with anything except the no stamina and the depression. What you are describing here can be as simple as a low vitamin or hormone situation. A young man very near to my heart suffered for years, before a Dr listened. You are not a loser.

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Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hell, I'm mid 40s, collect action figures, Legos, build models...all of 160 lb. fully dressed...Married to a cute lil sweetheart of a woman for 21 years. She loves oppossums and raccoons and accepts me how I am... love will find you when you least expect it.👍

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There isnt a correct way of being a man (or a woman). You dont need muscles or a beard, to like football or whatever. You are great as a person as you are :)

daniel-lambert15 avatar
Daniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But my dude, you are a man. Just because you say you don't have the attributes you think a man should have, doesn't not make you not one. You Be You! When you do find the one, it will be like Bruce Bogtrotter eating cake.. SCOFF IT ALL DOWN!

samchilton avatar
Sam Chilton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do you, dude. Be what you want to be, as long as you don't hurt anyone else. If you want bigger muscles, work for it. You want a sexual experience, same. Sometimes you get lucky. It's the human experience.

sarcasticcow avatar
Sarcastic Cow
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don´t worry. Most people at this age doesn´t feel adequate. Try some activities, that will give you a sense of victory, but does not hurt anybody. Maybe mountain hiking? Or, if you are more intellectual oriented - try competitions in writing or drawing...But remember, that your value your value does not lie in these things.

carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First, good for you for not trying to "fake" it but being yourself. That takes a lot of guts. Second, what Elin Noller said. Who knows? could be medical, get it checked out.

stefan-gonzalevski avatar
Stefan
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The issue here is the way you feel about this. There are many different types of men. If you want, you can get muscular mass by training. Maybe with a coach and/or nutritionist. Sport gives you stamina (apart from medical problem, of course). But it's also true that self-confidence grows with age. Collect action figures, be yourself, develop your own qualities. They don't need to be physical ones to be valid.

jknbt2 avatar
jk nbt
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a hideous stock photo you Panda editors chose for this item... It should have been a very youthful-looking 20-something guy who still can't grow a mustache, not an obese 40 y.o. man with a full beard... Come on!

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Dwarves
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, just be you. As good old dr Seuss says "be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" - and it's true, I mean, being a geek and into superhero movies and all that stuff was uncool when I was your age and now it's way way more socially acceptable- even if it wasn't you live your life to make yourself happy, not others

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LivingTheDream
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is just beginning at 20. I'm over 50 and still have a regular D&D game with my friends. My muscle mass is no where what it used to be from a battle with cancer. Single for a very long time and absolutely happy with where I am in life. Whos cares what others think? It's non of your business. Find a group of friends that have the same ineterests and you will find there is so much more to life than being buff and a man whore.

mel0dy avatar
justmemorticia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, you're just apart a few years from me and believe me - you will gain the confidence in time. I mean - there is literally NOTHING you should be ashamed of. Be yourself and you'll make yourself, a girl/boy or whoever you prefer very happy that way. Don't try to be THAT bully from high school. No one really like him for his personality.

mel0dy avatar
justmemorticia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

P.S.: There's nothing like a real man. Not everything you see around yourself or on social media is true. You would be definitely my type just for trying to work on yourself to the point you like yourself and still have love for others around you. :)

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Iapetos
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other people have told you that (that you're a loser). They're superficial. They don't see the really cool things about you and just judge mindlessly. On a side note, drunk people just suck. I recommend you start treating yourself like a nice, supportive older brother would. This helped me a lot with self-esteem issues. Whenever I'm stressed out, the big sister mode kicks in and I can evaluate my problems way more easily. Also, don't forget that your mental, psychological and social development hasn't even ended yet when you're just twenty. Young people have self-esteem issues REALLY often and it does go away with time. Heads up! And good luck with the gains!

richardhiramgrady avatar
Richard Grady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re a man, m8. That makes everything you do; everything you like; everything you say; masculine and manly. Your manhood is not defined or validated by anything anyone else says or does. You’ve made it. You’re here. Do your thing.

jenny_pugh_14 avatar
Jenny Pugh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a 56 year old woman with two Captain America shield's on her car keyring, and the Millennium Falcon on her house keyring. Geekery is for life.

markovbk avatar
Marko Marinković
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried to put on a mask for similar reasons and trust me. ITS. NOT. WORTH. IT. Be real. Be you.

jknbt2 avatar
jk nbt
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some people grow up at slower rates than others... that's okay, don't worry about it, just have more young fun in your prolonged adolescence... the flip side is that you will live 10-15 years longer than these full-bearded, already balding 20 year-olds... count your many blessings! (and you get to keep your hair that much longer before starting to lose it! Enjoy!!!)

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unrelated, but the man in the photo has a very contagious smile. I hope he gets to show the world that grin.

boredpanda_48 avatar
ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. Read more to have something interesting to say, if you do not already have something interesting to say. 2. Be interested in the other person as a person, not just as a potential partner. Ask them questions and find out what they're about. Engage them by trying to understand what interests them. 3. Be funny if you can. If you can't, then just kind and considerate will do. Not the whole "chivalry" thing but just stuff like punctuality, noting what the other person likes and getting that, etc.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend is 30, he started hating himself because he did not have a girlfriend. We talked a bit, I found out he loves photography, I suggested he just go out snd concentrate just on his photos, sure enough, when he stopped being so hard on himself, he met a wonderful young woman and they have been together for three years now. Doing things to satisfy your curiosity about a subject can put you in the arena with people who have the same interests. Volunteering, taking classes, joining an organization, it will help help you become more okay with you. Heck I joined a native plant society because I had an interest and they hike slowly. Because of my contacts, my name is now acknowledged in a beautiful book on California native plants. Good luck, I think you will do great things

manusal avatar
El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no need for a mask, choose you pat and walk it, dear action figure collecting guy. it will affect how people treat you, but for some is better to be one self and confident in it, that being what society wants and always doubtful

joelhopkins avatar
Joel Hopkins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Audie Murphy was a tiny little guy. No one on this planet would say he wasn't a man or wasn't brave because of his stature. Go do what you like to do and try and get good at it. When you're good at something, people come to you. I couldn't grow a beard until I was 40. Don't worry about it.

mark_wkelly avatar
Mark Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've never kissed a non-relative female, like French kiss?

linniemarieg avatar
Linnie Gonzalez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude have u ever seen many skate boarders or muscician or needs? They’re all cool and OFten have no facial hair and are skinny and not tall… that’s not your problem…. And u don’t need to be with the girls who are attracted to that… I suspect that many guys lack attraction for girls in their own achievement ability….. it’s something as women we learn from day one…. I’m sure you have tons to offer but you have to get real abt who you are looking for attention from

linniemarieg avatar
Linnie Gonzalez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg I should have proof read 🤦🏻‍♀️ u don’t need to be with girls who like hyper masculinity ….. there are many who don’t need that… but you need to broaden your search to find love 🙏peace

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Karina Andersen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you be you, my boys/men have similar issues when dating women, they tell me about it, it helps if you can get an older persons views

ellajmoffat-1 avatar
ThEboRedEsTpANdA
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

being a virgin at 20 is good. it means you are old enough to decide who you want to be with physically, instead of a stupid teen having sx to make himself seem cool

agrant17 avatar
Goldberry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a photo of Jerry Messing - talented actor and lovely human being who is currently struggling with partial paralysis resulting from COVID-19. Please consider helping him out in his recovery: https://www.gofundme.com/f/9t3h7-stem-cell-regeneration

infinitus avatar
InfiniteZeek
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, I'm in my forties, and my wife buys me action figures. There is nothing to be ashamed of about what YOU like (as long as it's nothing creepy/immoral/or will hurt others)

dunnlouise1 avatar
The Panda society
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a superman! Not every man can be as articulate and open as you have just been. Body hair is a f*****g chore, enjoy your freedom from razors. Collect ANYTHING that makes you happy. People without hobbies are heartless.

anneking68 avatar
StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, what are you doing to change these things? Are you actively working on your personality, social skills, grooming, hygiene, health and fitness and the way you dress and present yourself? Women like interesting men who have great personalities and make the most of what they have, attractiveness-wise. We don't like men who whine and feel sorry for themselves, then work themselves up into a state of hatred for women because women stay away from their loser vibes. If you're a total loser, then that is your choice. Women don't like men who are total losers, and why would they? Men aren't owed attractive women simply because they want them. Hard truths, but the sooner you learn them and start working on yourself, the better off you will be.So get to work.

lifeisgood4226 avatar
Tugg Ster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you just be 100% authentically you. That IS being a human being. it's all good!!!

carey_ensley_monroe avatar
Carey Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't assume all women are after that bullsh*t alpha stereotype. Most of us would prefer a partner who is supportive, kind, and not so busy worrying about leg day to remember to switch over the laundry.

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Solidhog
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't leave it too late in life to realise it's more important in life to do things or collect things that make you happy. They say you should dance like nobody is watching the same is true about doing things or collecting things. No matter what you do there will always be people who love it and hate it. Worry about making yourself happy. I'm 52 and have never cared what others think. I collect things I like, watch cartoons and listen to all kinds of music both modern and old, and happy with it. PXL_202111...65bca1.jpg PXL_20211114_152026937-61912b365bca1.jpg

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Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

None if these define you as a person. Keep your chin up and do you!!!

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at the things you are judging yourself by: hair, muscles, strength, sex. These are the toxic male standards for masculinity. You don't need any of those things to be a man. You don't need any of those things to feel good about yourself. The most important thing is to love and accept yourself and have a sense of humour about things. Because the people who make fun of you are the ones who are insecure, and you don't have to be. Action figures are cool. Most of my friends are nerdy sci-fi types who collect action figures etc. They are great people. I bet you are a great person. You seem kind and caring and sensitive and I need you to know that none of the things you are concerned about actually matter. Love yourself. Find good friends who share your interests. The rest doesn't matter. You seem like a cool guy to me.

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Z Kalnina
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cannot agree here. Fitness is for health not show. Start respecting yourself. The rest is unrelated.

mcborge1 avatar
mcborge1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was always super skinny and could never grow a beard then I hit my 40's and got broader and my beard finally came in just as it was turning grey (bugger) I'm 50 now and I still have my hair so there's that. Oh and ive been collecting Alien and Predator action figures for decades now and I don't care what anyone thinks, #Geek for life. :D

owlbystarlight avatar
Doubleheader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In all due time. I'm going the route of genderfluid sometime in the near future, and the masculine side of me finds "warrior_male" on tumblr/twitter to be really inspiring. He's such a sweet guy who highlights the best aspects of masculinity. You should reach out to him some time. :) He's very inspirational and has given me awesome advice as well.

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13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Define a real man for me. Then go out and ask others to do it. I'm betting you'll be surprised by the ACTUAL answer. As long as you don't blame women for your situation you are fine. Go enjoy your action figures. Action figures are awesome.

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Mimi M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best comment reply: 'Better than collecting STDs or criminal charges.'

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Janet Sturgess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No your not too young to figure this out. You are perfect just the way you are - you ARE YOU and only you can do that. NO ONE ELSE. Your needed here because you are you :-)

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Robert Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be you. If you try to be someone else, you might succeed and that is bad.

suzn34 avatar
Susan Bosse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never be anything or anyone but yourself. People who treat you less than or not people you need in your life. THOSE are the people who are hurting on the inside so they have the goal of trying to make everyone else feel the way they do. Find your squad. There's a reason collectibles are a multi million dollar industry...because it's POPULAR. Find whatever you need to be happy with yourself. Leave it to others to do the same. Sending you good and happy wishes!!!

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Brian Michael
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't be ashamed if you are happy that is a fact and don't let anyone tell you differently...but 20 isn't too young, 20 is an adult. Don't use age as an excuse because you will blink and be 25 or take a long yawn and stretch and boom you are 30. If you are always waiting to become an adult you never will, just start.

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David Lawson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This especially sucks at the moment, what with nearly every male portrayed in commercials having facial hair of some sort, and EVERY dude on TV and movies being ripped as.

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Dirk Daring
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Speaking as a guy who's 45, try not to worry too much about this. At 20, you are still figuring out who you are. Keep collecting your action figures, it sounds like it makes you happy. And don't worry about the facial hair, virginity, or any of that other stuff. Everything happens in due course.

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Isaac Harvey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one gets to define who/what you are for you. If you looked at me(18M) when I was in ‘street clothes,’ you wouldn’t know I have a second-degree black belt in Taekwondo, childhood brain cancer for more than 8 years, or epilepsy for about 18 months.

octavia_2 avatar
Octavia Hansen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get some GREAT friends and all of this won't matter. And before you say you can't . . . you CAN! Find a meet up group, get out, talk to people, and ask people stuff! There's a whole world out there and I'm amazed when someone says they can't meet people!

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Corcaigh
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Amy Burke
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bet your nicer than most ... people either love you for who you are or they aren't worth your bother

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Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like me. I didn't have my first date, let alone anything else, until I was in my 20s. I've always been into geeky "childish" things too. Was 31 when I was diagnosed by the state with Aspergers. It gave me a target to work on, a direction to move forward in. I fit in better (not perfect, never will be) and I'm able to be comfortable with myself and be successful without having to give up any of the things I love; I have a wall of board games, I play D&D, Warhammer, etc., I have hundreds of computer games, and I build things out of foam board just for fun. And I have a partner who loves me and geeks right along with me.

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of women actively dislike the beef cake look. There are plenty of women that like men who look like normal people. There are plenty of women that like a skinny build. There are women that are attracted to every physical type out there. It's almost like women are a whole diverse collection of people rather than just clones. This isn't the problem. To get to know women and find ones that like you you have to interact with them. And you have to accept that a lot of them won't be attracted to you, and that's okay. But you won't meet the ones who do unless you are prepared to chat with girls and get to know some. And, OMG, no one cares if you collect action figures FFS. Unless you bang on about it even when you can see someone's eyes glaze over or demand that every woman you speak to also collects action figures, why is that even an issue. Just find stuff that you and the person you are chatting with have in common. You're both in the same place, there's a starting point.

leeanneb avatar
LeeAnne B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do you boo. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have more going for you than you think.

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Deborah Padgett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't worry about what others are saying, thinking or feeling. You do what makes you happy and the hell with what anyone thinks. You can never go wrong if you always follow your heart.

lyuboiv avatar
Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your outer appearance doesn't determine who you are. And muscles - they are just tools, nothing more. And it doesn't matter how big they get - some day we all die and our muscles turn into dead meat.

elin_noller avatar
Elin Noller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No facial hair at 20? Combined with low muscle mass, this could be a medical issue. Like Klinefelter syndrome.

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Mia Mai
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Orrrrr maybe not. Come on. He is not the only male on earth without facial hair and 20 is still young. My exboyfriend was the same, low muscle mass and no beard in sight. Don't worry OP, you are not alone and not less 'manly'.

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#12

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Walking into a public restroom and getting your shoes stuck to the ground because of all the dried piss on the floor.

gyroggg , Oliver Hale Report

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly not just a man only thing, particularly in restrooms with Turkish toilets

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Meanwhile, British psychotherapist Silva Neves told Bored Panda that toxic masculinity is mostly centered around a “general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny” than specific behaviors. 

He detailed that at the core of these “distorted ideas” lie things like the notion that men should “always be winners,” shouldn’t feel any vulnerability, and shouldn’t be perceived as weak or soft.

“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the expert said.

“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women.”

#13

Being told that my emotions don't matter. You know what happens when people bottle up their emotions? They either kill themselves or end up on the 6:00 news.

Mr_Gibus Report

#14

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) The stigma that every time I talk to a woman I don't know I automatically want to date them. Like f**k maybe I like talking to women because men don't open up about feelings and women actually listen just lookin for a friend man.

Xsendox , Christin Hume Report

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Elin Noller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a "stigma" because it is more or less a rule. All women have had male friends they thought were their friend that turned out to just want to get in their pants. The term "Friend zoned" exist cause of all those men who pretend to be your friend.

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#15

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Less annoying and more upsetting but: The lack of mental health outreach for men.

Kooba9 , Nathan McDine Report

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kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i saw and heard some woman in the news just says stuff like: to hell with mens, we are more important, it's our turn. this is just some shitty way to think. it wasn't ok to threat woman like that before but it's not ok to take revenge at those who wasn't even there when all that happen

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#16

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Shopping for clothes. I've noticed in every clothing store, we have this small corner in the back of the store for our clothes then the rest of the store is 95% female clothing.

imalonleyguytbh , Alexander Kovacs Report

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DUN DUN
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my country we do have separate floors or separate rooms for men, women and kids sections

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#17

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) You're expected to just deal with a lot of things that girls would get help with.

tastehbacon , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Tobias Rieper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i agree like if your car breaks down and you call for roadside assistance lone women are given priority like as a guy were supposed to just wait and fend off attackers for hours

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#18

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Everything in your life is a competition. Every. F***ing. Thing.

smarmageddon , Randy Fath Report

#19

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Being called weak if I show any emotion.

ExoticStories , Ali Jouyandeh Report

#20

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) All the societal pressure that on you to initiate, fix, pay, provide etc.

Neptune-Jr , rupixen.com Report

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Brendan Roberts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I hate that men's success is measured by their wealth. Fortunately, my wife and I work the same number of hours, and she actually earns more than me.

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#21

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Being judged almost exclusively on one's financial stability, in an economy that makes financial stability very difficult to achieve.

green_meklar , Emil Kalibradov Report

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Brendan Roberts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I earn enough to pay the bills and look after my kids, with a little left over to add to our savings pot. This should feel like enough, but it doesn't. I feel like I should own a chalet in the Swiss Alps in order to be considered financially successful.

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#22

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) The male stereotypes. Sometimes a guy needs to cry and just let stuff out. Or being strong and doing physical work isn't his thing.

BlacktheMew , David Billings Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Indeed. I am not very strong and can't lift heavy stuff. It's a fact of life, and I can't just snap my fingers and suddenly become the Hulk.

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#23

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Always being expected to make the first move towards the woman.

dailydonuts16 , Benjamin Ashton Report

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Tobias Rieper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

for once i would like a woman that likes me to do that myself personally i am scared to make the first move in case i have mis read the signs like i think they are in to me but are just being friendly

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#24

Living in fear of being labeled as a "creep" or "pervert" for trying to talk to a girl

Al-cicada Report

#25

Used to be getting random b*ners at inappropriate times. Now, it's not being able to get a b*ner at appropriate times.

NastyLittleBagginses Report

#26

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Having to feel I have to stay quiet about the way I feel about my body

Michael_Scarn427 , Siora Photography Report

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Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It can be a relief for some women to know that men worry about looks, too. My husband occasionally wishes he looked more muscular. Losing hair is another issue.

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#27

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Being the person to go check out the noise that just happened in a creepy place, to promptly be brutally murdered by some evil demon spirit

GiveMeYerBelt , Pawel Czerwinski Report

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work as a security guard supervisor. I had many many men tell me they needed a different job site because the one they were at (usually a new development site) was freaking them out. I never ever berated them, I would talk it out, see how impacted they were and would often pull them off the site for another less creepy site. It’s okay to feel fear, it’s okay to not want to be afraid, it’s okay to feel fear and challenge it and it’s okay to feel fear and invest in a dog to have your back

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#28

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Probably the fact that we're expected to have the courage to approach women at bars or wherever else, which wouldn't be so intimidating if the perception of said flirting didn't depend entirely on how attractive they happen to find us. We're told "the worst thing she can do is say no" but it feels pretty s**tty when she and her friends straight up laugh as you walk away, or even worse, to your face. As someone fairly middle of the road in terms of looks, it's like "Oh boy, am I gonna have a fun conversation or are she and her friends gonna laugh at me, let's roll those dice!!!" Most of the women I talk to who decide they're not interested are polite about it and I appreciate those people, but some are just mean, and most of us guys aren't quite as emotionless as we're supposed to be. That stuff is a big feels bad.

GiacchinoFrost , Alex Voulgaris Report

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Tobias Rieper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also approaching a woman and being seen as a creep because they don't find you attractive

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#29

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Baldness. Some can make it work for them, but most can't.

sd_glokta , Shivam Dewan Report

#30

Men Get Real About What Sucks About Being A Man (30 Answers) Trying to shave those damn hairs on your Adam’s apple without slicing your throat open

L4chie , Supply Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's really not a hard thing to get around unless your shaving with a katana.

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