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Men Online Share 30 Things They Kept To Themselves So Their Parents Would Never Find Out
It is no secret that a lot of us have hidden things from our parents at one point or another. Whether it was that one time you snuck out to a party you weren’t allowed to attend, or opened that box of chocolates you weren’t supposed to touch, it is very much inevitable that parents won’t know everything about what their children do.
Someone online, in the r/AskMen subreddit, decided to ask men about the secrets they’ve hidden from their parents, and they delivered plenty. The question went viral, collecting 13.8k upvotes and prompting 5.4k comments. Scroll down for the whole list, consider upvoting the entries you found the most interesting and leave a comment!
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I got married and didn’t tell them until my wife began to show her pregnancy. We had been married for over a year at that point. They did not approve of our relationship because of outdated reasons. We have been married for 37 years now and have 4 kids and 7 grandkids
My teenage best friend Chester was forbidden to come to our house or call, because they heard he was a bad kid, welp, the friend they liked Raphael, was Chester all along... Used his middle name for around 6 years until mom found out.
When I was a junior in high school, my mom and I got into a low speed accident with minor damage to both vehicles. Later that month I was so exhausted from school that I decided to ditch. I drove on the backroads for 10 minutes send parked, and then slept.
My mom found out and was furious at me. I lied and said that it was because I wasn't feeling good and I had headaches and some bs like that. She took me to the doctor and they found that my C3 vertebrae was fractured on top of having a tumor growing on it. I ended up having a gnarly 10 hour spinal surgery that honestly completely changed the course of my life.
And we only found out about it because I couldn't think of any other b******t excuse to use
My mom is not so good with finances and the internet. I have been paying a significant portion of her bills for the past decade and she has no idea.
My mom raised me in a pretty aggressive christian household. When we finally got tv, I discovered HBO had like a 5 minute preview of movies/shows whatever. Then I saw the late night s**t. Well our tv was locked down with a passcode. I had to be like 11 or 12 but I put a vhs in then hit record. I then told my mom that I wanted to watch a animal documentary but it was locked tv14 for the animal violence. Well, she had me turn around while she scrolled the password in. After she left for work, I rewinded the vhs and got the password. Sorry Mom!
While my parents were at work, my older brother started cooking french fries in a cast iron skillet and cranked the heat until the oil was boiling. He left the stove unattended for a few minutes and came back to a raging fire. He took the pan, spilled hot grease on the cheap kitchen tile, opened the sliding back door and tossed it into the yard before hosing it down. The microwave that sat above the stove was completely ruined and two or three floor tiles were badly burned. So my brother goes to Lowes and finds the exact microwave model, overcharging his card to pay for it. Comes home, tosses the old one, installs the new one. We replaced the tiles with a box cutter and super glue and exchanged the burned tiles in the middle of the kitchen with tiles from the back of the pantry. They never suspected a thing
I snuck out my window at night to raise hell in the neighborhood when I was a teenager. They brought it up in casual conversation about 20 years later..... yeah. Parents know.
I found out at my mother's funeral that she knew more about things I had done than I ever knew from the minister. My best friend's father.
I got a tattoo on my shoulder blade. Kept it hidden for years after a shower etc. Found out years down the line my brother told them a week after I had the tattoo!
There's a little entryway off on the side of my mother's house and into the basement. I realized how easy it was to sneak in and out of that thing when I was sixteen, and asked if I could move my room to the basement to "feel like I had my own space."
Actually, I snuck people in and out of it constantly. My girlfriend at the time stayed over two or three times a week, and I would sneak friends in constantly to drink and party with me. Either that or I'd sneak out on weekends and go party and hang out with people. My mother is a very very conservative Christian, and if she ever found out, she would lose her mind and probably disown me. I think about this sometimes.
When I was 14 I stole my dad’s MGB roadster and drove it for about an hour. When I got it home I washed it to cool it down so he wouldn’t notice it was warm, he appreciated the wash so much he took me for my 2nd serving of ice cream that day.
I got my drivers license a few days after I turned 16 one summer. I told my mom and dad that a friend and I wanted to drive a 100 miles away to go help my friends grandpa with chores around his house because he was getting to old to do them on his own. My mom and dad thought that was a great idea and even offered their brand new car for us to use the week we would be gone.
Thing is, we didn’t go to my friends grandfathers house, we drove almost a 1000 miles (each way) to Las Vegas. After we had driven a few hundred miles we disconnected the speedometer (gear driven) so they wouldn’t know the real miles we racked up on their new car. Had the time of our life. We slept in the car and cleaned up at truck stops along the way. This was back in the mid 70’s and the strip wasn’t even part of Las Vegas yet. We managed to slip into a casino and put a few nickels in a slot machine right inside the door, but never got caught. It was a road trip that I’ll never forget. Parents never were the wiser.
My parents were way too smart for me to get away with something like this, or anything really. My mom seemed to know EVERYTHING I did/wanted to do/tried to do, etc lol Your parents have to either be extremely naive or they just know and let you do it anyway, for yall to "get away" with all this stuff lol
My mom used to take the power cord to my Xbox when I was grounded. My buddy’s Xbox stopped working so he gave me his power cord and I would hop on when they weren’t home or late at night.
My stepdad would take my controllers away when I was grounded. I had backup controllers and a Gameboy he seemed to not know about. He still brags to people that taking games away caused me to do better in school when in reality it just taught be skills about being sneaky
I personally don't want to get married or have kids. I just don't want to deal with the stress around raising another life in this world and failing at being the best father that I can be. I would rather be happy alone.
Me too (not a man tought). I cant imagine my lofe with kids screaming, crying and demanding attention all day long.
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Agree with the child-free part, disagree with the married part. My partner and I are D***s(dual-income no kids) and we love it! Vacations all the time, whatever luxuries we can afford... and we can even play with our friends' kids for a few hours, and then GIVE THEM BACK! Best of both worlds.
My aunt and uncle said the same things. They’re wondering why nobody will visit them in the retirement home now
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I seriously got a vasectomy for this very reason, I never looked at myself as being a responsible parent. Don't get me wrong I do like children, I just didn't want any . I let my sister enjoy parenthood
If my mother never brings up me having kids again I will be so happy
With that attitude, I'm glad you don't want kids either. I was in no way prepared to have a child when I was 50 but that's what happened and I'm doing my best to be a good dad... as long as you're doing that you probably are one.
I wish I had been this smart even though I love the two I have - they are going on 30's now. Today - no way!
I didn't have kids. I didn't like kids even when I was one. Selfish little s**ts.
Totally agreed until I got married and had(step)kids. I love being married so much and I even love those kids! But I also love when they go home😅🤣
Me too. I wouldn't wanna be born today ... I wouldn't even wanna be 20 today, as I got to experience a lot of the guilty pleasures of youth, and all that was a lot less serious back then than it's today. Today, you smoke weed and someone can detect it weeks later, or you stay out all night and everything's on record. When getting away meant having got away, all those minor offenses, minor criminality (... well, even that is kinda oversaying what I think of...) was just ... easy. Didn't have any results other than those immediately applied, in regard to punishment and the like. Also, the world will get less and less inhabitable, which will cause a lot of things to be worse. Stuff is more expensive already, and currently, I do not see any reason for hope, but the hope of recent years vanishing further and further. So ... I will not cause additional life. I take care of cats when one in need crosses my path ... but that's it.
My mom actually confessed that she is already in peace with me not having a weddings or Kids And I realised she was mostly worried that I WANT those things but my partner dont so I blindly go with the Flow, suffering in the process. I had to assure her that I love my current státě of living bond/child free
With you on this, but as a mother. I need too much sleep to function.
Yikes! I have 2 kids but that would be a no go for me! My kids are 5 years apart, they are teenagers but I think it was helpful having them further apart. My brother has 2 boys a year apart and they have their hands full at all times!
I remember telling my mom that I never wanted to birth kids, I only wanted to adopt. 2 ish years later I told her I never wanted to have s3x and she was super upset and asked what I would do if my future husband would want to (I’m still a teen rn) and I said I wouldn’t do it. She still doesn’t like it, I’ve never told her I’m asexual
Ok, but what does that have to do with lying to your parents? What? You told your parents you do want a marriage and kids?
From the heading though, I assume that your parents are "expecting" the usual marriage and kids?
But you may meet a partner who feels exactly the same. When you are a senior citizen, living alone is awful, and something younger people don't think about. Have a friend in this position and she said it's the biggest mistake she made in her life.
I remember being 16 and saying, Kid's, Who would want them or need them, Knowing what a Hell Child I was. When my first was born, 1 hr 54 min NO Labour at all. I stated, 'If it is going to be this easy, I'll have half a dozen. I now have 6 kids. All but one speak to me regularly, and his problem is his SO.
most of you make me sick. Its totally fibe if you dobt want to be a parent, but stop spreading the idea that its bad wantinf to be a parent. You only spout the negative things, as everything else dont have negative points. Others blame the world, in this world is selfish to brings new lives....thats low, you can aply that also to pets but you still get them, even paying absurds ammount of money to get a prwmium one, instead of adopting. Stop spreading the ideology of wanting children = negative, stop brainwashing young lings, for your bad experiences or personal circunstances. Dislike me all you want.
I completely agree but didn’t stop to think with my head instead of my d**k
😟 Totally agree but isn't it sad? The intelligent are being intelligent... Others, not so much.
Even though you don’t want kids you can still help out with mentoring? Just a suggestion I’m not trying to convince you to do it but being lonely isn’t the best option for mental health sometimes and most of the kids that need mentors are just looking for companionship. You don’t have to give life advice just go down the slide and be silly.
I knew about her cancer for 6 months before she told me.
I still talk to the girl they forbade me from speaking to when I was 14
That it took me 7 years to get my B.S in CS. Because I failed a lot due to anxiety and depression. I'm a first Gen american so they dont know how college works and I just lied to them by saying that taking 2 or 3 classes a semester is better than being full time.
The really great report card I brought home once was actually a fabrication I made on the home computer while they were sleeping. Mom was so proud, I never told her.
I skipped school once in high school. Forged my dad's signature on a note. I'm 37 and still think my mom might kill me if she found out.
I used to forge my mum's signature all the time, got caught once. When I was a teen (13ish) my mum wanted a loan without my dad knowing so got me to forge his signature on the loan forms.
That they are terrible at hiding things or making passwords. Anytime I was in trouble and used a password to lock the tv or computer they always used a significant date so it was just process of elimination.
I also found almost all of the Christmas presents every year because they would just put them in the garage under a giant blanket. Like all of a sudden in mid-December a mountain of stuff covered by a blanket would appear in the garage, don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.
I know where the Christmas presents are kept, but I like the surprise on Christmas day
I never graduated college. Im the youngest so they were pretty "over" going to graduation ceremonies. I said I got my degree in the mail. I still got a decent job, they never asked for my degree but I said I had one on my resume.
Been 8yrs since I "graduated"
Im the one that made all the leprechaun movies disappear throughout my childhood. I took them to granny’s house & made sure they’d never see the light of day again.
I used to drive the family car when they were away at work. Like everytime. Just drive around the neighbourhood. I was 15.
I used to take my dads motorbike , push it up the road and coast it down.
That I watched Ben 10. Growing up, I said that Ben 10 was stupid and then I watched an episode and loved it. But not wanting to be a hypocrite, I would put a sign on my door and say don’t come into until 10:30 which was what time Ben 10 ended on Saturday mornings.
I am the same with My Little Pony. Sometimes stuff like this is still enjoyable even as a teenager
I once took my dads motorbike on a 4 hour round trip because I woke up late for a scuba diving trip when I was 18.
I was being picked up by the instructor and just overslept by about 45 min and didn't hear them at the door. My parents were away so I put on all my dads bike gear (we are pretty similar in size) and drove about two hours up the motorway and spent the day diving before driving home. Filled up the tank on the way home to cover my tracks!
I didn't have a license or insurance (although I could drive a bike).
I don't think he would even care now (I'm 33) but I've just never had the right moment to tell him.
At a family dinner get together when you bring up all the things you did as a kid. [just to start trouble] lol
In high school, the melted floor mats in my mom's new car were because I sprayed febreeze on dog c**p that a friend's shoe brought in and it "reacted like that".
In truth, it was a firecracker that someone tried to chuck out the window and it bounced off the glass and landed inside the car. They forgot the child safety windows didn't go all the way down.
This is the first time I have heard of child safety windows. Now the reason old winder windows in the back seats of cars don't wind all the way makes sense.
Those 20 beers that were stashed under my bed..I was NOT holding them for a friend
Back in high-school, we went on a family vacation to Hayward Wisconsin. Me, my brother, and my cousin had these under water fire crackers we'd been lighting and throwing in the lake. Well, I convinced my cousin to light one and throw it in the toilet of the cabin we rented. Sure enough, it cracked the bowl and all the water spilled out. When it came time to fess up, none of us had any idea what happened and my uncle had to go buy a new toilet to install. I think we told them the truth about a decade later.
Bro. Don’t throw those into lakes, they’re like toxic and kill the fish and s**t.
That I was a bouncer for a night club for about a year and that I took a personal loan for my classes.
When I moved across the country 2 years ago my car broke down in the middle of Texas. I ditched it there and took a rental the rest of the way and bought a used car on Facebook 2 weeks later. They still think I’m driving the same car I had when I left.
Weird thing to lie about if your car just broke down! I think there’s some missing details here
mine is how i can never tell them how awful they've always made me feel about myself. my mental health has never been great but will take to my grave how much worse they made it. they meant well and we get along. just had this way of making me feel brushed off and useless. edit: i'm doing better mental health wise
The only time I did this was for a friend in the late 90's. This was way before scanners, printers or photo software were common. Basically he was in college with me (UK) but he didn't want to be there, just did it to keep his parents happy I felt. He had zero intention of going on to University. Unfortunately his final A-Level grades were lacking to say the least. Back then the grade results were just given to us on a printed piece of A4 paper. He called me up and (as I was quite adept at the stuff) asked me to forge him a results sheet with different grades. I remember using a scalpel, glue stick, Tipp-ex and a local shop's photocopier to make a new grade sheet for him he could present to his parents, lol. Lost touch with him after college but I always wonder how that went (it did look official mind you).
My brother and I broke the dining room window playing catch. We pooled our allowance and I called a window repairman to come the next day before my father got home from work. We ate dinner that night with the curtains closed, very unusual. I was so scared but we pulled it off!
Funnily enough that probably would have been the punishment, paying the repairs. But you skipped the yelling
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My brothers and I were raised strictly Catholic. Prayers before and after every meal, every Sunday (or Saturday) and of course every Christian holiday we had to go to church. When I was about 14/15, we were allowed to choose which church we went to. There was a small church in our neighborhood and a larger one downtown. We decided to go to the church downtown... "using the excuse" that the pastor's sermons were so boring and that we also wanted to visit our grandmother, who lived downtown, on the way back to church. In truth we went straight to our grandma who wasn't really religious and covered up our swindle. I doubt our parents ever found out.
Awe that's actually really wholesome and cute
Load More Replies... One secret my brother has kept from my dad and will forever I think. One night when my brother and I shared a house together I woke up at like 2am to him groaning and calling out from his bedroom. I got up and found he had vomited everywhere and he was conscious but not lucid. I call an ambulance and they ask whether he had been drinking. I said I didn't know, as I went to bed about 9pm but he wouldn't have more than a few ciders as far as I knew. They took him off to hospital and I call my mum and dad (they were divorced) but neither picked up. The next day my brother was sent home and I found out he had been intoxicated, he had been drinking shots. Mum knows this, but since my dad is a tea-totaller he didn't want to tell him. Since my bother is coeliac he gave some excuse about nit knowing what it was but he probably ate some gluten by accident. Dad believed this, but every so often he has asked if they ever found out if gluten was the culprit.
The worst I did as a teen was secretly watched R rated VHS movies and snuck one or 2 cans o' cold ones. The funny thing is after watching those movies was part of my process on learning that I was asexual. I have zero libido/urges since day one of puberty. I enjoyed the story lines and art of the animated stuff instead. Ex. Heavy Metal. I did date in HS, but the most we did was kiss.
My nine year old daughter made a facebook accound at her friend's house and called herself Abigail Monterio. She's in her 20s and I call her that once in a while.
I used to ditch school a lot because of bullying. I pretended to leave for school and just walk through the city or somewhere else where no one I knew would see me and would come back just around the time school Was out. Also forged my father's signature on sick notes so I had an excuse why I wasn't in school. He never found out.
I have a second secret. When I was five years old my grandmother had me going through a huge mail sorter and throwing out old,outdated mail.I was in another room and about halfway through the sorting I came upon paperwork from an attorney and found out I was adopted.(I had actually felt like I was as long as I could remember). I found out my oldest sister is my birth mother,my sister and brother are my aunt and uncle and my parents were my grandparents. I honestly felt relieved because I knew what I felt was true. My entire family sucked and didn't give a damn about me and my "mother and uncle" were extremely abusive but my dad was everything to me and he was actually the one who adopted me. He had no clue about the abuse when he was at work offshore. But when he died I was 13 and he never knew that I knew about being adopted.I am 51 and until I was in high school my grandmother didn't know I knew.She never knew how I found out,she assumed my biological.mother told me recently.
In high school my grandmother hated my boyfriend because his mom didn't want to be friends with her. So I was consistently punished from seeing him or talking to him on the phone whenever she felt like it. So I figured out that a cute house phone that I got from a friend was an actual working phone. So whenever I was going out to the barn or go check fences on the property (we owned a large horse farm) I would sneak directly under our house(it was on stilts) and open the big phone box that held the wiring for the house phone and tap into the line and talk to him. If she picked up the house phone she was still able to make a call and not know I too was using the same line. I saw a guy that was working on a phone box years earlier and saw he was using a phone from it so by trial and error I figured it out. I'm 51 and she died never knowing what I did for the four years of high school when she punished me on a whim.
When I was six I was climbing the tree in my Aunt’s back garden. Of course we, my cousins and I, had been told multiple times not to. I fell out one day and fractured my wrist. To avoid getting into trouble, I told everyone I tripped over a large rock xD
When I was in elementary school, my mom made so little money that we qualified for free school lunches, but I told my dad (they were divorced) that I needed money for school lunches. I got like $40 /month from him and used it to buy video games. Started living with him in high school. He'd take my PlayStation away if my grades were bad, so I just started going to bed right after dinner so I could wake up at 4am and play the same games on an emulator on his PC before school. He stayed up until past midnight every night so he was never awake before I left in the morning.
mine is how i can never tell them how awful they've always made me feel about myself. my mental health has never been great but will take to my grave how much worse they made it. they meant well and we get along. just had this way of making me feel brushed off and useless. edit: i'm doing better mental health wise
The only time I did this was for a friend in the late 90's. This was way before scanners, printers or photo software were common. Basically he was in college with me (UK) but he didn't want to be there, just did it to keep his parents happy I felt. He had zero intention of going on to University. Unfortunately his final A-Level grades were lacking to say the least. Back then the grade results were just given to us on a printed piece of A4 paper. He called me up and (as I was quite adept at the stuff) asked me to forge him a results sheet with different grades. I remember using a scalpel, glue stick, Tipp-ex and a local shop's photocopier to make a new grade sheet for him he could present to his parents, lol. Lost touch with him after college but I always wonder how that went (it did look official mind you).
My brother and I broke the dining room window playing catch. We pooled our allowance and I called a window repairman to come the next day before my father got home from work. We ate dinner that night with the curtains closed, very unusual. I was so scared but we pulled it off!
Funnily enough that probably would have been the punishment, paying the repairs. But you skipped the yelling
Load More Replies... My brothers and I were raised strictly Catholic. Prayers before and after every meal, every Sunday (or Saturday) and of course every Christian holiday we had to go to church. When I was about 14/15, we were allowed to choose which church we went to. There was a small church in our neighborhood and a larger one downtown. We decided to go to the church downtown... "using the excuse" that the pastor's sermons were so boring and that we also wanted to visit our grandmother, who lived downtown, on the way back to church. In truth we went straight to our grandma who wasn't really religious and covered up our swindle. I doubt our parents ever found out.
Awe that's actually really wholesome and cute
Load More Replies... One secret my brother has kept from my dad and will forever I think. One night when my brother and I shared a house together I woke up at like 2am to him groaning and calling out from his bedroom. I got up and found he had vomited everywhere and he was conscious but not lucid. I call an ambulance and they ask whether he had been drinking. I said I didn't know, as I went to bed about 9pm but he wouldn't have more than a few ciders as far as I knew. They took him off to hospital and I call my mum and dad (they were divorced) but neither picked up. The next day my brother was sent home and I found out he had been intoxicated, he had been drinking shots. Mum knows this, but since my dad is a tea-totaller he didn't want to tell him. Since my bother is coeliac he gave some excuse about nit knowing what it was but he probably ate some gluten by accident. Dad believed this, but every so often he has asked if they ever found out if gluten was the culprit.
The worst I did as a teen was secretly watched R rated VHS movies and snuck one or 2 cans o' cold ones. The funny thing is after watching those movies was part of my process on learning that I was asexual. I have zero libido/urges since day one of puberty. I enjoyed the story lines and art of the animated stuff instead. Ex. Heavy Metal. I did date in HS, but the most we did was kiss.
My nine year old daughter made a facebook accound at her friend's house and called herself Abigail Monterio. She's in her 20s and I call her that once in a while.
I used to ditch school a lot because of bullying. I pretended to leave for school and just walk through the city or somewhere else where no one I knew would see me and would come back just around the time school Was out. Also forged my father's signature on sick notes so I had an excuse why I wasn't in school. He never found out.
I have a second secret. When I was five years old my grandmother had me going through a huge mail sorter and throwing out old,outdated mail.I was in another room and about halfway through the sorting I came upon paperwork from an attorney and found out I was adopted.(I had actually felt like I was as long as I could remember). I found out my oldest sister is my birth mother,my sister and brother are my aunt and uncle and my parents were my grandparents. I honestly felt relieved because I knew what I felt was true. My entire family sucked and didn't give a damn about me and my "mother and uncle" were extremely abusive but my dad was everything to me and he was actually the one who adopted me. He had no clue about the abuse when he was at work offshore. But when he died I was 13 and he never knew that I knew about being adopted.I am 51 and until I was in high school my grandmother didn't know I knew.She never knew how I found out,she assumed my biological.mother told me recently.
In high school my grandmother hated my boyfriend because his mom didn't want to be friends with her. So I was consistently punished from seeing him or talking to him on the phone whenever she felt like it. So I figured out that a cute house phone that I got from a friend was an actual working phone. So whenever I was going out to the barn or go check fences on the property (we owned a large horse farm) I would sneak directly under our house(it was on stilts) and open the big phone box that held the wiring for the house phone and tap into the line and talk to him. If she picked up the house phone she was still able to make a call and not know I too was using the same line. I saw a guy that was working on a phone box years earlier and saw he was using a phone from it so by trial and error I figured it out. I'm 51 and she died never knowing what I did for the four years of high school when she punished me on a whim.
When I was six I was climbing the tree in my Aunt’s back garden. Of course we, my cousins and I, had been told multiple times not to. I fell out one day and fractured my wrist. To avoid getting into trouble, I told everyone I tripped over a large rock xD
When I was in elementary school, my mom made so little money that we qualified for free school lunches, but I told my dad (they were divorced) that I needed money for school lunches. I got like $40 /month from him and used it to buy video games. Started living with him in high school. He'd take my PlayStation away if my grades were bad, so I just started going to bed right after dinner so I could wake up at 4am and play the same games on an emulator on his PC before school. He stayed up until past midnight every night so he was never awake before I left in the morning.
