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23 Insecurities A Lot Of Men Have That Most Women Actually Don’t Care About Shared In This Online Group
Even the most self-confident people have some insecurities—whether it would be about their appearance, personality, or something else in their lives. But the truth is, we are the biggest critics to ourselves. More often than not, other people would never know that you are insecure about something or they wouldn’t see it as a big deal. Social media is full of women sharing their insecurities and sending a message that the things they’re insecure about are normal.
But what about men? They also should be encouraged to not pick themselves apart. Reddit user GorillaS0up asked: “Women of Reddit, what common insecurities do men have about their bodies that women don't actually care about?“ 3.4k women responded and they listed not only insecurities men have about their bodies they don’t really care about, but their insecurities in general. Bored Panda gathered some of the best answers given by redditors. If you would like to add anything else to this list, share your opinions in the comments!
More info: Reddit
Image credits: Sigmund (not the actual photo)
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Dont worry about coming off as nerdy or brainy- ffs plz think for yourself and ENJOY your hobbies. We actually dig someone with passion and honestly being able to hold conversation with depth is delicious. Extra points on sarcasm, wit and humor.
PLEASE come off nerdy AND brainy! Talk to me about the last book you read, or the video game you're currently playing.
Honestly? Height. If you’re short and have an attitude about it, it’s the attitude that makes you unattractive, not your actual height.
Im small but i look down at nobody and i look up to nobody. I even joke about my height.
My husband is the same height as me - stick a small heel on and I'm taller. Do not care a jot.
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Not all girls care about height, but so many online dating profiles list a minimum height, it's a preference that doesn't make a lot of sense, like why does a 5'2" girl *need* a man that's 6 ft+?
Same for men who want big breasted women or tall ones, or with long hair etc. People have preferences.
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Only very shallow women are concerned about height, looks and having money. Most of us only care about the personality. I mean sure initial attraction is important, but it takes far more than attraction for a relationship to be lasting.
I prefer guys closer to my height. No one wants to stand on a step ladder to kiss.
I love short men. So hot. Especially the ones who are comfortable in their own skin. No complex, nothing to prove. I love looking a man in the eye without straining my neck. I have a list of celebrities - Michael J.Fox, David Spade, Seth Green, Johnny Galecki, James McAvoy (a little tall at 5'7), Kevin Hart, Jet Li (with those smoldering eyes), Aziz Ansari, Jonah Hill, Dustin Hoffman, Martin Short (it's right there in his name!) Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Cuba Gooding Jr., the late Dudley Moore, Chris Rock, Richard Dreyfuss, Ken Jeong......
There are definitely some women who aren't into shorter guys, who automatically rule them out, but also plenty that just don't care. I'm a taller woman. I've dated short guys that didn't care about my height just like I didn't care about theirs. There are some men who do mind, though, and would never consider dating a woman my height. I'm just not going to be every man's thing. I can't waste my time worrying about it. That's true of all sorts of human features. There's going to be some people that don't like it, whatever it is. Having a bad attitude about it will turn people off who would be into you otherwise.
I dated a guy who was 4'11" - i'm 5'4". He had this bigger than life attitude, but in a good way and that made him so hot. The height difference was irrelevent. Although, I found it a little awkward to kiss at first :)
When petty women stop calling short men "little boys", then short men will stop getting a defensive attitude about their height. It's only a small subset of women, but it takes only one to kill a man's self-esteem.
but if your short and don't have an attitude then its definitely your height
LOTS of people out there have mocked men for being short. Nice try gaslighting though
And lots of people havent. Nice try to generalise women.
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I can say that being 6’5” hasn’t been the worst thing genetics have given me. In my experience women do tend to find the taller guy more alluring, but it’s all relative. I find personality goes a long way over the inconsequential
my brother is not tall. he's usally smaller than his date but he's a great guy... so many girls left him because they don't like that.
If women leave him it is not because he is a greay guy.
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My husband is shorter than. I am. But he loves it, because if he'd been taller, he'd never have been able to live out his dream, and become a professional jockey. And I love it, because he's like a cuddly, life-size teddy bear. 😉 And he loves that I feel that way lol.
Ever watched the show Celebrity IOU on HGTV? In the pilot episode Brad Pitt displays all the signs of being insecure about his height in the presence of the (taller) Property Brothers. BRAD. FRIKKIN. PITT.
I'm glad that enough people agree for this to get upvoted, but I've got 20 years of data collected on dating sites that indicate that very many women, if not most, care deeply and profoundly about height -- at least in North America.
This is vile, like saying black people are uppity. Do not blame prejudice on the person's attitude. Especially when TONS of studies show 1) Short men get married much later than tall men and 2) Short men get rejected on Tinder far more often than tall men.
They’re just saying people who get bitchy and defensive about a trait can cause instant turn off for people who honestly don’t care about said trait being what it is. It’s understandable for people to get mad if someone is a jerk about something they can’t control, but you start sharing at least some of the blame when you make your personality all about that anger. The turn off at that point is the person being an ass, not being short.
Load More Replies...Money. I've seen a few guys try to act like they have money to burn in order to impress their dates (me included) but then not be able to pay the bills at the end of the month. Honestly, I'll take stability and honesty over a fancy dinner any day.
There are loads of women that expect the guy to pay for everything. Double standards.
Your body and the likely lack of a sixpack. First of all, i love you for your character, second, it‘s really nice when we cuddle, and it makes me feel better for not having a model-body
Ikr. I personally don't prefer men with sixpacks, I love anyone who is healthy and happy in their body.
Showing their emotions. Turns out a lot of guys can't even cry, because at a young age males are told "boys don't cry" "man up"
Baldness. There are plenty of hot men that are bald.
With barbers closed due to corona virus i wish i was bald right now. At the moment i am feeling like cousin it
Having a bit of a gut. It's cute.
Having a flat butt. No biggie...!
Not having a monster dong is perfectly fine.
Having some zits. Don't care.
Big nose. So what?
Crooked smile. As long as you smile :)
I hate when a guy, who's clearly broke to the bone wants to take me out to dinner or buy me something to impress me. I once went out with I guy and I could see in eyes that he was doing mental math... needlessly to say, I took the cheapest everything and ended our suffering. Guys, it is okay if you don't have money atm, as long as you are working/studying and is a hardworking individual with a good personality. STOP trying to impress. Let's just buy a bag of cheetos, sit on the sofa and watch a stupid movie. It'll be okay.
Society has conditioned men to feel inadequate if they cannot impress women by spending money. Even though a lot of women don't mind. Many men find it difficult to unlearn that mentality
Hair on their chest or arms. Its there yeah and no one cares.
Honestly the same ones as women most of the times. Such as stretch marks and scars. I couldn't care less. I have em also. Oatmeal cream pies have stretch marks and no one turns them down!
i love this. I'm a guy and i dont care what the hell a woman looks like as long as she has a good personality. Or a guy for that matter.
Being awkward sometimes or doing something embarrassing. I somehow find this more appealing than guys who never seem embarrassed or are extremely confident.
Same. I'm pretty socially awkward, and I like people who I can relate to, people who aren't afraid to make mistakes and be themselves.
Graying hair. My 32 year old husband is currently freaking out because he has “so many” (it’s not that many), gray hairs. I couldn’t give two s**** lol I think he’s still just as handsome and I really don’t see what the big deal is
My missus and daughter point out about my hair as a joke. I always say to them that Italians do not go grey we go silver.
Excess weight. Of course, we are not talking about the final stage of obesity, when the weight prevents the guy from functioning normally, but 10-15 kg (sorry, I can not correctly translate into pounds). Big men with excess weight seem to me like big bears, behind which you want to hide and snuggle tightly.
My ex hated his voice, he thought it was too high. I don't even notice voice pitches. But he let it put a fake divide between us which is why we broke up. HIGH VOICES ARE CUTE! DEEP VOICES ARE CUTE! ALL VOICES ARE PERFECT!
Bellies and love handles. I personally love seeing the hips on a guy, and a soft belly is nice to touch and rest on. I like hugging my love from behind and I want to stretch my fingertips right up under that shirt. Love a tummy, and again with the last one, the amount of hair on it ain't no thang to me!
I like healthy teeth, but years ago I long-term dated a guy with crooked front teeth that to me made him cuter really, especially when he laughed. I ended up marrying a guy with a gap in his front teeth. Again, great with a good laugh.
There's a big difference between "healthy" and "straight" teeth. I don't care if your teeth are a little crocked, but if you don't brush regularly or go to a dentist, that is a turn off.
My husband is way too worried about how big his biceps are. He was a really skinny kid (our son is the same way) so I think he always just wanted to be the big tough guy. Well now he’s got muscles and he’s constantly asking me what I think off them. I mean dude I’m into you no matter what size your biceps. Like contractually obligated for the past fifteen years I’m not going anywhere even if you can’t lift heavy things.
Calves. We don't care that they're skinny.
A big nose. I personally like that!
Mmm ugly feet? speakin for myself; i could care less bout ur feet as my feet are ugly as well for a girl haha
I truly don't care about acne. My boyfriend is really insecure about it but I don't mind it and he looks pretty cute with it.
The sad truth is that plenty of women do care about these things, just like plenty of men care. But the healthy mindset, if you can get there, is to forget about those people and look for someone who wants you as you. Superficial traits are impermanent anyway. Attractiveness is subjective. If you put some effort in, and make yourself an interesting person (ie things that interest you outside of the relationship) then the only thing left is to find the ones who are attracted to YOU.
Any man that's tried online dating knows that there are plenty of women out there who care about all of the things mentioned in the article - they want a 6 ft tall financially secure man with abs and big biceps and perfect skin (just like there are many men that care most about superficial appearance). At least with online dating, it's relatively easy to weed our the women with unrealistic expectations.
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Just like women, at the end of the day appearances don't count, What does count is the personality and how you treat people. Be happy with the person you are and don't let others put you down for it! Enjoy life ; )
Appearance does count, but it is not everything. And where great character and personality can often outshadow average appearance, no amount of beauty will make up for being a douche.
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Bodies change with age, diet, accidents, genetic influence over time, you name it ..... Who you choose to be in action and character is *forever*. And way more amazing, IMO.
I think everyone needs a reality-check. Most people have "ideal fantasy types" but in real life are intimately involved with people who are much different in appearance. The majority of celebrities we appreciate mainly for their looks make up a very small percent of humanity (as do their equally attractive non-celebrity counterparts). Luckily for most of us, we are attractive to other people for different reasons...
I have a friend. He is pretty overweight and has a lazy eye. But still, he gets plenty of good looking women because he is genuinely nice, funny, and is never insecure about his looks. Its all about who you are
Never mistake going to a gym or being attractive, for a personality. Personality and a sense of humor are the most attractive thing.
To all guys: don't let any woman judge your worth! And don't let other men do so, either. If they're a good person, they'll appreciate you for who you are, regardless of how you look or what your hobbies are. Yes, some people may simply not click, but don't let that get you down! As long as you are kind and respectful, you've got this, pal. ❤️
You forgot height. Men are obsessed with height and I know some dumb bitches will only date men over 6 feet. But honestly who the hell cares? What the hell does someone height have to do anything valuable to a relationship.
I would personally say that while these do seemingly mostly apply to males, they could potentially just apply to people in general. Just generally speaking, as a society, we need to be more accepting of others. Just because a man(or anyone, really) shows up to their first date with their s/o in a suit means they have the same amount of money as a major bank does. Just because a man(again, or anyone really) doesn't have iron metal muscles or doesn't show their emotions doesn't mean they are tough–in fact, I ENCOURAGE ppl to let their emotions out–you can't keep everything bottled in forever.
I think it shouldn’t matter what women like or dislike. Just like we always say it doesn’t matter what men like or dislike. We do what we want. Men don’t have to get stuck in the trap of caring what women want. Just live your life and if you’re looking for a partner, you shouldn’t have to change yourself to attract somebody unless you are just a shîtty person who needs to check his attitude. The most attractive thing you can be is a good person, and all the other stuff is just preferences. A guy with no abs won’t attract a woman who obsesses over abs, and that’s okay. Because they wouldn’t actually be a match anyway. Just do what you want. Fûck what anyone else thinks.
I HATE topics like this. We're basically being shamed for being made to feel ashamed of ourselves. Saying we are "needlessly self conscious" is gaslighting to the EXTREME.
No they aren’t saying your self consciousness is gross. They’re saying that if you’re worried that women are judging your skinny calf muscles, many of them aren’t, and that you might be torturing yourself unnecessarily.
Load More Replies... The sad truth is that plenty of women do care about these things, just like plenty of men care. But the healthy mindset, if you can get there, is to forget about those people and look for someone who wants you as you. Superficial traits are impermanent anyway. Attractiveness is subjective. If you put some effort in, and make yourself an interesting person (ie things that interest you outside of the relationship) then the only thing left is to find the ones who are attracted to YOU.
Any man that's tried online dating knows that there are plenty of women out there who care about all of the things mentioned in the article - they want a 6 ft tall financially secure man with abs and big biceps and perfect skin (just like there are many men that care most about superficial appearance). At least with online dating, it's relatively easy to weed our the women with unrealistic expectations.
Load More Replies... Just like women, at the end of the day appearances don't count, What does count is the personality and how you treat people. Be happy with the person you are and don't let others put you down for it! Enjoy life ; )
Appearance does count, but it is not everything. And where great character and personality can often outshadow average appearance, no amount of beauty will make up for being a douche.
Load More Replies... Bodies change with age, diet, accidents, genetic influence over time, you name it ..... Who you choose to be in action and character is *forever*. And way more amazing, IMO.
I think everyone needs a reality-check. Most people have "ideal fantasy types" but in real life are intimately involved with people who are much different in appearance. The majority of celebrities we appreciate mainly for their looks make up a very small percent of humanity (as do their equally attractive non-celebrity counterparts). Luckily for most of us, we are attractive to other people for different reasons...
I have a friend. He is pretty overweight and has a lazy eye. But still, he gets plenty of good looking women because he is genuinely nice, funny, and is never insecure about his looks. Its all about who you are
Never mistake going to a gym or being attractive, for a personality. Personality and a sense of humor are the most attractive thing.
To all guys: don't let any woman judge your worth! And don't let other men do so, either. If they're a good person, they'll appreciate you for who you are, regardless of how you look or what your hobbies are. Yes, some people may simply not click, but don't let that get you down! As long as you are kind and respectful, you've got this, pal. ❤️
You forgot height. Men are obsessed with height and I know some dumb bitches will only date men over 6 feet. But honestly who the hell cares? What the hell does someone height have to do anything valuable to a relationship.
I would personally say that while these do seemingly mostly apply to males, they could potentially just apply to people in general. Just generally speaking, as a society, we need to be more accepting of others. Just because a man(or anyone, really) shows up to their first date with their s/o in a suit means they have the same amount of money as a major bank does. Just because a man(again, or anyone really) doesn't have iron metal muscles or doesn't show their emotions doesn't mean they are tough–in fact, I ENCOURAGE ppl to let their emotions out–you can't keep everything bottled in forever.
I think it shouldn’t matter what women like or dislike. Just like we always say it doesn’t matter what men like or dislike. We do what we want. Men don’t have to get stuck in the trap of caring what women want. Just live your life and if you’re looking for a partner, you shouldn’t have to change yourself to attract somebody unless you are just a shîtty person who needs to check his attitude. The most attractive thing you can be is a good person, and all the other stuff is just preferences. A guy with no abs won’t attract a woman who obsesses over abs, and that’s okay. Because they wouldn’t actually be a match anyway. Just do what you want. Fûck what anyone else thinks.
I HATE topics like this. We're basically being shamed for being made to feel ashamed of ourselves. Saying we are "needlessly self conscious" is gaslighting to the EXTREME.
No they aren’t saying your self consciousness is gross. They’re saying that if you’re worried that women are judging your skinny calf muscles, many of them aren’t, and that you might be torturing yourself unnecessarily.
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