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Domestic abuse and violence against women are rightfully condemned, loudly and publicly, as utterly criminal and wrong under any circumstances. However abuse doesn’t stop there. There are countless forms of less obvious, insidious abuse that affects people of both genders, non-physical abuse that most of us are kinda expected to just put up with. Especially men.

The hashtag #maybeshedoesnthityou is trending on Twitter, and it’s a real eye-opener. Men are sharing their personal stories of manipulation and emotional abuse, and it’s highlighting all kinds of problematic behavior. Perhaps instead of being told to just “suck it up and take it like a man,” guys will be able to express their emotions more honestly, and learn that being treated like crap is not ‘normal.’

Scroll down to check out some examples below, and let us know what you think in the comments.

#1

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#2

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Tiari
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband's girlfriend before me did that to him. She actually slit her wrists (in an undeadly way) just to prove her point. I had to pick up the pieces and worked really hard to assure him that it is okay for him to have an own opinion different to mine...

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#3

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Darryl Kerrigan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being told to 'man up' is very hurtful, especially when you're just trying to communicate.

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#4

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Elaine Scott
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my son. His girlfriend had him falsely arrested, came to my home and spinned me a story and when I stood by my son she kept my granddaughter away. When it got to court the judge asked questions that my sons lawyer hadn't asked and she admitted she lied. It absolutely broke my son. He's never been the same since. I hate her!

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#5

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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DannyG
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't particular a gender thing, anyway experienced this and it melts your self esteem like global warming the ice. Once you reach the point where you believe your are entirely wrong, gonna have a bad time.

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#7

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Erin Sheppard
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because you aren't helping pay the bills or to take care of her? If the first, find a new job, the second - find a new girlfriend.

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#8

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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La Petite Morte
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've dealt with gaslighting from both (sic) genders, including a parent. I was told, in a rare moment of honesty, that if I could be made to doubt myself for one second, they then had complete control of the dialogue and me.

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#10

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Maike
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that just is blackmailing, i once had a friend doing that, in the end i had to end our friendship, after alerting their Family and making sure she is beeing surrounded by People that are actually trained in helping unstabel People, not me.

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#11

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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A S Koziol
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one gets through life without being emotionally damaged in some way. It's part of "life experience".

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#12

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Lulik
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The worst. My fiance's exgirlfriend cut off his friendship with his bf. It was hard to make them up

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#13

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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La Petite Morte
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or subjected to weeks of guilt tripping, cold shoulder, and 'Nothings wrong, you should know why I'm upset' because you went out to coffee with a friend while they were at work.

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#14

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your heart is precious. I hope you have lots of friends who can help you--family? There are also many support groups. I also hope she is no longer in your life.

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#15

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I promise you there are many people who will be kind and treat you with the respect you deserve. You never have to accept cruelty. You deserve to be happy. Being alone is better than this. I promise you.

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#16

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Maike
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

uuuuuuuu nope! please get tons of distance from such a Person!!!! Talk to People you need to know the truth and you can trust. get help if you need to. Do not give her more power.

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#17

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Cookie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rage attackS, plural? Anything more than one means you've stuck around too long.

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Sarah Kohrmann
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaaand you should brush up on your "why it isn't always as easy as 'just leave' abusive relationships" knowledge

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Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red flag. Please walk away and let her find someone else to abuse--she will, unfortunately

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Caroline Espenschied
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you feel unsafe, then you ARE NOT safe. Don't stay with someone who's not your safe haven. Get out of this. A good woman is out there waiting for you but she can't find you if you are trapped in this scary relationship you're in right now. Make yourself available for your One and Only.

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Daniel Mallory
Community Member
6 years ago

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to be far you feel unsafe by a woman i know gender equality but physically they are the weaker sex

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Fay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@anarkzie - Just like women can climax from unwanted physical stimulation, men can get an erection, whether they want to or not. It is very possible for a man to be raped by a woman.

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#18

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Rafaella Bueno
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then later she'll complain that you're a bad father that does nothing and doesn't care about his kids... I've seen it happen.

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#20

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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La Petite Morte
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See, but doing something like either of those suggestions would involve her losing control and him being allowed to interact with others that might notice the abuse and suggest he leave, people that he might actually listen to.

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#21

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Daniel Mallory
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as soon as you stop lying to your self that you need her or even want her you will be fine that being said i know it is not easy just try to stay mentally sound till you gain the courage

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#22

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Sardonic Scribe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women don't hold a monopoly on emotions. It's so sad to see that many women are stuck in the middle ages when it comes to perceived gender norms.

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#23

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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A S Koziol
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh please leave, you deserve better than this. Always remember, dating is like a car test-drive. Not every car will be your best fit, but every car is someone's best fit. If you don't like the car for your life, it doesn't mean that the car isn't a good car or a valuable car, it's just not "your" car. Go find your Porsche.

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#24

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Maike
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of mentaly ill People, rope in the People arround them like that. They maybe can not help it or just won`t, but just know, you are a free Person, everything you do is voluntarily done, you can leave in an instance, you can demand, you can lead the way, you can be strong, you can make your voice be heard.

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#26

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Just JoLynn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a friend of mine tried to commit suicide and blamed the SO I would NOT support them staying in the relationship. This whole situation is messed up.

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#30

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Sardonic Scribe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is beyond sad that she received no consequences for physically abusing you, and utterly sick that people laughed it off. The system needs to change, now.

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#31

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Benjamin Shade
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh this is a big one I deal with on a constant basis especially when she throws out "You had all the free time after work to yourself and then you want to go out away from me on the weekend??" Mine you I get home real late and many times only have a few hours at most to get dinner and try relaxing before heading to bed to start another extremely stressful day of non stop work without a real lunch break sometimes (Walking around the office with a cup of noodles going to client desks to work on computer issues so they can go on lunch). Being part of a paintball team kind of requires some weekends that I have to be away and she has been invited, and showed interest, but has a hatred of a friend that has no real good reason behind it outside of he wouldn't let her become a roommate again because of tensions between the other roommates causing issues that would cause her PTSD issues to flare up.

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#32

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#33

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have any feeling for her you need to get out of there, she does not care about you, you're a tool to get back at her ex. If you're just in it for the sex then carry on.

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#34

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Christine M Quigley
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son is currently in a abusive marriage, though I'm not sure he sees it that way. My DIL has made certain that his family doesn't see their baby boy. Now they're moving. He'll never know how much we love our only grandchild. So sad. All to appease her fragile ego.

#35

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Maike
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

maybe it is not about still loving her? Maybe It is about you saying when- when it is finally enough to leave an unhealthy relationship, sometimes love just is not enough and sometimes that hurts the most. Still, better by yourself, than beeing constantly distanced from yourself for the sake of said relationship. Maybe you are worth more?

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#40

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Joe Reaves
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate people who make false accusations. They are so vastly out numbered by people making real accusations and often not receiving any justice but they draw all the attention and make it even harder for real victims to be believed.

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#42

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#43

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Benjamin Shade
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there, had it happen, council people who are now going through it after learning how to detect it.

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#44

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Menno van Oosten
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her relationship with me ended about 4 years ago. My relationship with her ended 6 months ago, when she told me she made an offer on a house.

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#46

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#47

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Corinne Stephan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time , you end it and walk away ... don’t make it a threat, make it a promise

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#49

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Josh McAllister
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The spelling is correct, they just missed the apostrophe, it should be "you're".

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#51

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#52

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#53

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#55

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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La Petite Morte
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry. Run. Run fast and far. Find people who celebrate you, not ignore your journey and struggles to get to a place where you can be you.

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#56

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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A S Koziol
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a common way of letting someone know you aren't interested in a romantic relationship anymore, and it sucks because it's not clear words presented with the respect of a face-to-face conversation. It's the coward's way out. Sorry this happened to you.

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#57

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#59

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#61

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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#62

Maybe She Doesn't Hit You

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Fredrik Westerlund
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the f**k cares about the care? The car is a tool, not a measurement of "manliness".

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