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Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.

Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.

From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!

Image credits: rabiasquared

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Jontelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I can send my SO to the store with a list and he’ll STILL mess up somehow.

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Karri Berkowitz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out

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If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.

Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.

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Strawberry Pizza
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.

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When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.

But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner was the same with decoration. I put some paintings, pictures and plants in the house and he kept whining about how i "invaded his space". Now i took them all out because we are moving and he was like "now the house looks so much uglier". I know.

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"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."

He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave it in the cabinet. Don't buy chips. "There's still a pack in the cupboard".

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Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.

"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.

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Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...

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Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."

"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"

After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.

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Green Machine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.

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Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t have a spoon anyway, you have a solid lump of tea stained sugar with a metal bit sticking out the top.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree on the basis that I HATE when people nix ideas without offering a suggestion. I'm not your hired "idea's person".

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Stephanie A Mutti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife does this all the time. I give her 2 options and if she nixes them both, it's HER decision to make. I'm not going to pop out option after option just so you can say No.

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

New rule: refuser must nominate an alternative. If they can't, you go with the suggestion.

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Donna Clanclan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We start the conversation differently. 'I don't know exactly what I want, but I know I don't want X,Y,Z, etc.'

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LagoonaBlueColleen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom does this then complains I don't help with making decisions. She knocks down everything I pick and then we end up just choosing her one idea she didn't think was so great.

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No you can't have my name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Solution: Okay, I'm making myself *this* and you can make whatever you want later.

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LH25
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After the second try, I'd either tell them to decide, or just pick something and not get approval

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Stephaniep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, backfired once though when I had enough and ordered Chinese minutes after it was delivered the pizza he ordered arrived.

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Megan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Play guess what we're having or guess where we're going, Guess where we're going to eat? Oh are we going to red Robin ( excited ly)? Yes! How did you know?! 😉 You're welcome 😆

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Kayleigh Burleson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband has started asking "what DON'T you want?" Instead of what DO I want. I usually don't know what I'm in the mood for, but I absolutely know what I'm not wanting. Highly recommend.

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Margaret Salisbury
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks to people like OP's wife, my partner spent years convinced that I was playing mind games when I said that I didn't care what/where we ate. I ended up having to be really specific about it, like "I honestly have no preference as long as it's not a steakhouse or BBQ or something." (I'm pescatarian, and so can nearly always find something I like on the menu as long as it's not specifically a red meat-focussed restaurant.) Or, "If I had to choose I'd say XYZ, but I only want that about .02% more than anything else we normally eat, so if you have a preference for anything in particular, I'd rather you decide." Or even, "I've been making decisions all day. My brain is tired. Any of the things/places we normally eat is fine, but I really need you to choose tonight." Probably seems really weird and awkward from the outside, but it works for us and means we don't spend ages trying to figure out what to eat.

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Jay Son
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds awfully familiar, and every member in my family (including myself lol) is guilty 😂

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Karin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why we have a list for an entire week and groceries at home. Perfect for peace of mind!

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Remi Flynne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We buy food that we each like and so don't have to agree. The food we both like is usually all fresh so it's most likely going to be eaten in order of 'use by' dates.

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Jason Bartl
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1 year ago

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Joyce Plaate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What shall we have for dinner? Just put up a list. Monday: chicken Tuesday: pasta Wednesday: meatloaf Thursday: ribs Friday: fish Saturday: texmex Sunday: roast Whoever doesn't feel for whatever is on the list that day can totally come with a new suggestion. Which then will substitute the item on the list for the future. You could also group items on the list, like: Wednesday: meatloaf, meatballs, groundmeat Friday: take out or delivery, pizza, chinese, burgers, whatever else is deliverable in your area. Etc.

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Joyce Plaate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife: "What shall we have for dinner?" You: "What about A?" Wife: "Nah, don't want that." You: "Fine, now it's your turn to come with a suggestion." (Note: Still not foolproof, you might still continue back and forth ad infinitum!)

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Alana Voeks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am NOT picky when it comes to food. Pick a place, I will find something I'll enjoy. It's why I don't like picking places

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Darmon Hackmiester
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup, same here. Restaurants are the same. I’ll say five or six I don’t want to go to then I’ll say it’s his turn and I say yes to the first one.

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Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg yes! Then 20 mins we are both hangry after of going back and forth

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Rebecca Olds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. I finally have to just choose something and he'll eat it. It really comes to a head when it comes to cooking meals and beforehand planning.

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Michael Lindgren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife always lets me choose out of courtesy, she says. Movies, tv-show, breakfast, dinner, where to go/what to do over the weekend. I am and have been out ideas for some time. Have started not making a choice or wanting to do something else whenever we go back and forth.

erine avatar
Erin E
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give my husband three options. If he doesn’t like any of them, he has to come up with something, and I go with the first thing out of his mouth.

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Mari
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every single day. But I don't ask the kids because they think I am a 24/7 all-you-can-eat cook.

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Nicole Normand
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would not say no; this is a free meal! (Even though we have the same bank account) 🤣

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phil blanque
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey...you want dinner? Make dinner. He/she can eat it or not. Do not act like you are six-year olds.

tuesdaynext avatar
Tuesday Next
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my hubs and I hit this question, we start listing off what we don't want and process of elimination our way to an answer

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Britt Vargas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One reason I got divorced. Literally every night, he would say “I don’t cares, I’ll eat whatever,” and I would give three options, and he would decline all three, but not have any other suggestions. So infuriating after years on end!

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Susan McAdams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband asks what time I want to eat, I tell him, he ALWAYS adds half an hour. Why ask me?

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CMDR unematti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"what we should have?" "Whatever, i don't mind" "ok" and just make/order. She's using you for brain work... Or say ok we are having lasagna. Not "is lasagna ok?". Just say it's gonna be lasagna.

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Kimberly Buchanan Fisanick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I say, 'Doesn't matter,' I mean it doesn't matter. If there is just something I want, I'll let him know. I had a controlling x-boyfriend, who would always ask me what I wanted to eat. One day I said what I was wanting to eat that night. Then he told me, he didn't want that. Don't ask, then.

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Sara Long-Robinson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is like this about freaking everything 😆 try 'guess what we are having for dinner?' Whatever he guesses first is 'omg! That's right we are having that !'

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Samantha Mannion
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha I do this to him every single day! I tell him I Kno what I don't want just not what I do want exactly

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Valerie G.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to put all the choices into a bowl and draw one. (we did the same on choosing which church to attend on Sunday, we had about ten to choose from in our area.)

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Alditekim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never tried this personally, buti heard of a way to deal with people like this : "I've got your favorite food for the dinner". Then the other person will probably be surprised : "really? You got me (name of the food)? That's food they want that time. Then you go out and buy it.

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Adam Zad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After three rejections, you are REQUIRED to make the decision.

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Joshua Martin
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"OK, we can go out for X then" "No" "Well, we are almost there, so it looks like you are going to watch me eat X" I also hate when she asks me if I think what she is cooking sounds good to me. You are cooking? Awesome!

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Eucritta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We used to have conversations like this - I'd ask my husband's preference for dinner, he'd ask for something that really did take most of a day to cook, or something that needed ingredients we didn't have, or something neither one of us had ever cooked. Eventually I learned to list two or three doable options and ask which one.

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Lyra Sis
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine changes his mind so much I refuse to answer because I know he won't want it or will modify it in some way. When I have a taste for something I just cook that and he either eats or he doesn't.

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Riani Kivela
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2 years ago

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Patricia Murray
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This would happen twice. Then I would never answer the question again. Then I'd divide the week into who cooks. Cook decides period

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Catarina
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I decide what Is the meal since i'm the One cooking it.

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Adam Harmless
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just started cooking whatever and if he doesn't like or want it then oh well.

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here and I never know why he dose this I just like whatever

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finisz
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2 years ago

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago

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Wife wants husband to take her to a restaurant. Husband doesn't get the message.

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Steve
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband is not mind reader. Stop being coy/dropping hints and just freaking say what you're feeling!

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Karen Tyas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for op. That sounds like an awful partner

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree to disagree and adopt new pronounciation such as cow-poo to save your marriage.

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Belinda Matson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"

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Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?

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DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So buy her a pair of her own. If she wants to wear the old ones, you wear the new ones.

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